Answer the questions

Practicing “I” language - Instructions: Rewrite each of the evaluative “you” language statements below using descriptive “I” language. Put the step in parenthesis and underline it.

Be sure to:

1. Describe the other person’s behavior using very specific and objective language.

2. Share your thoughts and feelings that occur when you experience the behavior.

3. Give your interpretation of what the behavor.

4. Share the consequences the other person’s behavior has for you * Be sure to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. (remember, no one makes you feel

something, you choose to feel that emotion)

Example: You language : “You don’t care about my feelings”

I language : “I felt hurt (feeling ) when I saw you in the restaurant with your old girlfriend when you told me you had to work . (behavior) I think you intentionally lied to me (interpetation) and now I think that I can’t trust you at all (consequence ).”

1. “You never want to hear my side of the story.” - - - - “I” language statement:

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2. “You don’t keep your word.” - - - - “I “ language statement:

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3. “You’re no fun.” - - - - “I” language statement:

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4. “You can’t take a joke.” - - - - “I” language statement:

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Practice Perception Checks

Example: Kaitlan borrowed your communication textbook and promised to return it the following class. Two classes later she not only has not returned the text but she also seems to be avoiding you.

Description: “ Kaitlan . you promised to return my text right away and you’ve had it over a week now_

1st Interpretation: Perhaps you thought I wouldn't mind if you kept them longer, or ________________

2nd Interpretation: ____ maybe you forgot about returning it._____________________________________

Request for Clarification: What’s up?”_____________________________________________________

Your Assignments:

(1) Your boyfriend/girlfriend has been suddenly canceling planned activities without explanation for the past 2 weeks and is now telling you on the phone 10 minutes after she/he was supposed to pick you up that she/he has to cancel tonight’s plans. The only thing she/he says is “I’m sorry” and is about to hang up. What do you say as a perception check?

Description: _____________________________________________________________________________

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1st Interpretation: __________________________________________________________________________

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2nd Interpretation: _________________________________________________________________________

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Request for Clarification: ___________________________________________________________________

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(2) A grandparent promised to give you $1000 to help pay your school expenses this semester. You now need the promised money and have not received it or heard from the grandparent. What do you say when you call them?

Description: ______________________________________________________________________________

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1st Interpretation: __________________________________________________________________________

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2nd Interpretation: _________________________________________________________________________

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Request for Clarification: ___________________________________________________________________

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