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Chapter 5 Creating Effective Business Messages

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Learning Objectives

5.1 Explain the goals of effective business messages and the process for creating them.

5.2 Identify the needs of your audience in the AIM planning process

5.3 Gather the right information and refine business ideas in the AIM planning process.

5.4 Develop your primary message and key points in the AIM planning process.

5.5 Explain and apply positive and other-oriented tone in business messages.

The Process for Creating Business Messages 1

Process Steps

Plan.

Write.

Review.

Writing effective business messages involves a process—one that involves examining, developing, and refining business ideas in a way that provides business value to your audience. This process drives excellence in business thinking as well as collaboration and productivity in your work relationships.

Figure 5.1 The Stages and Goals of Effective Message Creation

PLAN: Get the content right.

Understand your audience.

Gather the right information.

Develop your message.

WRITE: Get the delivery right.

Set the right tone.

Apply a clear and concise style.

Focus on navigational design.

REVIEW: Double-check everything.

Get feedback.

Ensure your message is fair.

Make sure to proofread.

Figure 5.1 depicts the stages and goals for creating effective messages. It’s worth noting that these stages are not necessarily linear and often overlap one another. Business writers frequently move back and forth between the stages.

The Process for Creating Business Messages 2

Business writers tend to move back and forth between stages.

Expert writers are more likely to:

Analyze the needs of the audience.

Generate the best ideas to tackle a problem.

Identify the primary message and key points before starting a formal draft of a business message.

Expert writers are more likely to analyze the needs of the audience, identify and collect the right information to tackle a problem, and identify the primary message and key points before starting a formal draft of a business message. On the other hand, poor and average writers are more likely to begin drafting or writing right away. They often address planning issues—audience analysis, information gathering, and message development—as they go. Consequently, they tend to write in a less organized, perhaps even haphazard manner. They generally produce less strategic and influential messages.

Figure 5.2 Time Spent by Poor, Average, and Expert Writers Developing a Complete Business Message

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Source: Pressley, M., & McCormick, C. B. (1995). Advanced educational psychology for educators, researchers, and policymakers. New York: HarperCollins.

Figure 5.2 contrasts the time that poor, average, and expert business writers commit to planning, writing, and reviewing. Not surprisingly, poor writers spend less overall time than average and expert writers. They generally spend little or no time planning and usually do not review their messages before sending them. The difference between average and expert business writers is most intriguing. Expert business writers not only produce more effective written communications but also do so more quickly than average writers. Their secret is to devote a much higher percentage of their time to the planning and reviewing stages.

The AIM Planning Process for Effective Business Messages

Focus on Three Areas

Audience analysis.

Information gathering.

Message development.

The most important stage of creating effective business messages is planning. Throughout the remainder of the book, we will refer to the three-component AIM planning process for developing influential messages. It focuses on three areas: (1) Audience analysis; (2) Information gathering; and (3) Message development.

Audience Analysis

Think about the needs, priorities, and values of audience members.

Components

Identify reader benefits and constraints.

Consider reader values and priorities.

Estimate personal credibility.

Anticipate reactions.

Consider secondary audiences.

Effective business communicators possess an uncanny ability to step into the shoes of their audience members. They think about their audience’s needs, priorities, and values. They envision how their readers will respond when getting the message—in thought, feeling, and action. They also consider how the message will affect their working relationships.

Identifying Reader Benefits and Constraints

For many messages, this is the single most important planning step.

Your readers respond when you provide them with something that they value.

For many messages, identifying reader benefits and constraints is the single most important planning step. Simply put, your readers respond when you provide them with something that they value. When you communicate no apparent benefits, your readers are unlikely to engage. In addition, you need to consider the constraints your audience faces. Your readers may see value in your messages but not be able to respond to them because they don’t have enough time, resources, or authority to make certain decisions.

Considering Reader Values and Priorities

Values

Enduring beliefs and ideals that individuals hold.

Priorities

Involves ranking or assigning importance to things, such as projects, goals, and tasks.

Being an effective business communicator requires that you learn about other people—what they value, prioritize, and prefer. Values refer to enduring beliefs and ideals that individuals hold. Generally, people hold workplace values—beliefs and ideals about the appropriate way to approach business problems, resolve issues, and choose goals. Priorities involve ranking or assigning importance to things, such as projects, goals, and tasks. Priorities tend to shift more often than values.

Estimating Your Credibility

Audiences must judge you as credible.

Many entry-level professionals have relatively low professional credibility because they are viewed as the newcomers.

Your readers will inevitably judge your recommendations, requests, and other messages based on their view of your credibility. If your credibility is low, consider how to strengthen your message in ways that overcome your lack of credibility. Many entry-level professionals face this situation; they have relatively low professional credibility because they are viewed as the newcomers. Establishing a professional reputation takes time. It takes less time, however, if you stay aware of your strengths, weaknesses, and goals. Most importantly, your reputation depends on adding value in the workplace.

Gaining Credibility

Set up a time to talk with your boss.

Ask your boss if you can take on any higher-responsibility projects.

Make sure you fit in with the corporate culture in terms of professional dress and communication style.

Attend a lot of meetings to get to know as many colleagues as possible.

Create a professional blog about a niche area.

To break out of a reputation as an inexperienced newcomer, consider the following options:

Set up a time to talk with your boss. Explain your growth in various areas and ask for ideas about improving your professional reputation.

Ask your boss if you can take on any higher-responsibility projects.

Make sure you fit in with the corporate culture in terms of professional dress and communication style.

Attend a lot of meetings to get to know as many colleagues as possible. Participate appropriately.

Create a professional blog about a niche area.

Anticipating Reactions

Tips

Envision how others will respond to your message.

Imagine how your readers will think, feel, and act as they read it.

Think about what you want to achieve in terms of workplace relationships.

Keeping Secondary Audiences in Mind

Tips

Individuals other than primary recipient will view your messages.

Modify them accordingly.

Information Gathering 1

Components

Identify the business problems.

Analyze the business problems.

Clarify objectives.

Information Gathering 2

Excellent Business Thinkers

Clearly and precisely identify and articulate key questions and problems.

Gather information from a variety of sources.

Make well-reasoned conclusions and solutions.

Remain open to alternatives to approaching and reasoning about the business problem.

Are skilled at communicating with others to figure out and solve complex problems.

Identifying and Analyzing the Business Problem(s)

Facts

Statements that can be relied on with a fair amount of certainty and can be observed objectively.

Conclusions

Statements that are reasoned or deduced based on facts.

Positions

Stances that you take based on a set of conclusions.

Analyzing the business problem typically involves uncovering relevant facts, making conclusions, and taking positions. Facts are statements that can be relied on with a fair amount of certainty (most things are not absolutely certain in the business world) and can be observed objectively. Conclusions are statements that are reasoned or deduced based on facts.

Message Development

Framing the primary message:

What is the primary message?

What simple, vivid statement (15 words or fewer) captures the essence of your message?

Setting up the logic of your message:

What are your supporting points?

What do you want to explicitly ask your readers to do (call to action)?

How will you order the logic of your message?

Setting Up the Message Framework

Most business arguments employ a direct or deductive approach.

They begin by stating the primary message.

Then they lay out the supporting reasons and conclude with a call to action.

In some cases, such as delivering bad news, an indirect or inductive approach is helpful.

This approach provides supporting reasons first followed by the primary message.

Most business arguments employ a direct or deductive approach. In other words, they begin by stating the primary message, which is typically a position or recommendation. Then they lay out the supporting reasons. Most business messages conclude with a call to action.

For some messages, such as when delivering bad news, you may adopt a more indirect or inductive approach, in which you will provide supporting reasons first followed by the primary message.

Figure 5.4a Typical Deductive Framework for a Business Argument and Related Paragraph Structure

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Figure 5.4 illustrates the framework of most deductive business arguments. Generally, a reader could get the gist of your message—the primary message, rationale, and call to action—simply by reading the opening paragraph, the first sentence of each supporting paragraph, and the final paragraph. In fact, many of your readers, who are generally busy, will do exactly that. They will skim the communication to understand the main ideas and implications. If they see merit in your ideas, they will go back and read the entire message more carefully.

Figure 5.4b Typical Deductive Framework for a Business Argument and Related Paragraph Structure

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As Figure 5.5 indicates, business arguments that employ a direct or deductive approach begin by stating the primary message, which is typically a position or recommendation. Then they lay out the supporting reasons. Most business messages conclude with a call to action. The call to action in many cases is a more detailed and elaborate version of the initial position or recommendation.

Table 5.1 Avoiding Unsupported Generalizations

Less Effective	Eastmond has a turnover problem.	Without any supporting facts, this broad generalization will be viewed skeptically by many readers.
More Effective	Eastmond faces an employee turnover problem. Employee turnover is at 23 percent compared to rates of between 10 to 15 percent at similar tech firms in our area.	This statement provides statistics to support the conclusion. The comparative data shows this is a problem.

Table 5.2a Avoiding Faulty Cause-Effect Claims

Less Effective	Lisa Johnson’s calculations show that Eastmond will definitely save at least $900 thousand over the next five years by introducing PPL.	This statement assumes that a PPP policy will result in a definite result: at least $900,000 in savings. The certainty of this claim would raise skepticism among many readers, especially without data.
More Effective	Lisa Johnson projected the financial impacts of a 20-week PPL policy. Considering increased productivity gains due to higher employee engagement, savings from reduced turnover, and higher employee costs to cover for employees on PPL, we anticipate saving over $900 thousand over the next five years (see Lisa’s attached estimate for assumptions and other details).	This statement provides facts, assumptions, and calculations to make a confident estimate. The statements are carefully crafted to avoid stating absolute outcomes. As a result, the statement will be perceived much more credibly

Table 5.2b Avoiding Faulty Cause-Effect Claims

Less Effective	Last year five promising early-career professionals turned down job offers. If we had PPL, they would have joined Eastmond.	This statement states a cause that is nearly impossible to demonstrate convincingly, especially without additional information.
More Effective	Last year five promising early-career professionals turned down job offers. Two of them told us they were disappointed there wasn't any PPL. This leads us to believe we are losing some early-career professionals because we don’t offer PPL.	This statement does not attribute the lack of PPL as the single cause of turned-down job offers. It provides more specific details about the lack of PPL as a concern for two of the individuals. The language is measured and objective.

Table 5.3 Avoiding Weak Analogies

Less Effective	Organizations such as Netflix and the Gates Foundation have given a full year of PPL and dramatically increased employee retention. Therefore, we should adopt a 52-week PPL model to ensure we increase retention.	This statement is a weaker analogy because it compares a smaller organization, Eastmond, with large organizations that can take a different approach in terms of personnel, resources, and program options. Readers in smaller organizations would consider this a weak analogy.
More Effective	We found that the most generous PPL policies among small tech firms range from roughly 8 to 24 weeks. Therefore, in her estimate, Lisa assumed that Eastmond will gain the most employee retention benefits by offering 20-week PPL to new parents.	This statement is a stronger analogy because it refers to similar-sized organizations with similar resources and constraints. Readers are far more likely to consider this a credible analogy.

Table 5.4 Avoiding Either/Or Logic

Less Effective	Without providing PPL, employees will continue to suffer from low morale.	This logic is either/or: without a PPL, employees will have low morale; with PPL, they will have high morale.
More Effective	One way to reduce turnover is offering more employee-friendly benefits such as PPL.	This statement does not imply that a PPL policy is the only option for reducing turnover. Readers will perceive this statement as confident but grounded and measured.

Table 5.5 Avoiding Slanting the Facts

Less Effective	Employee turnover at Eastmond is at 23 percent compared to as low as 10 percent at similar tech firms in our area.	This statement leaves out the top of the range to imply the separation between Eastmond and competing firms is even more dramatic than often is the case.
More Effective	Employee turnover at Eastmond is at 23 percent compared to rates of between 10 to 15 percent at similar tech firms in our area.	This statement provides the top of the range and thus provides complete information.

Table 5.6 Avoiding Exaggeration

Less Effective	Providing PPL to our new parents would completely change our work environment for the better, allowing us to reach levels of performance previously unimagined.	Many readers would view this statement with skepticism since the language seems exaggerated and unbelievable. This would lead some readers to call into question the credibility of the writer and the entire message.
More Effective	Providing PPL options could significantly improve employee satisfaction, an issue that our company president is particularly interested in.	This statement projects confidence but does not contain exaggerated, unrealistic, or overly ambitious language.

Setting the Tone of the Message

Tone

Overall evaluation the reader perceives the writer to have toward the reader and the message content.

Principles for Setting the Right Tone

Demonstrate positivity.

Show concern for others.

People often build resistance not to the content of a message but to the way it is delivered. One of your primary goals as a communicator is to express your messages in ways that respect and inspire others. Readers judge a message partially by its tone—the overall evaluation the reader perceives the writer to have toward the reader and the message content. Readers will judge your message based on how positive and concerned they think you are. Business communicators generally aim to project positivity and concern for others in all business messages.

Positivity

A positive attitude results in:

Better work performance

More creativity.

More motivation to excel.

More helpfulness between co-workers.

More influence on clients and customers.

Table 5.7a Displaying a Can-Do, Confident Attitude

Less Effective	Let me know if you want me to keep working on the implementation plan.	This statement is weak—it expresses little enthusiasm or passion for pursuing this project.
More Effective	I look forward to putting together a detailed implementation plan.	This statement is strong. It expresses an enthusiasm for putting together a successful plan.

Table 5.7b Displaying a Can-Do, Confident Attitude

Less Effective	Based on the information I have access to, and if everything goes according to Lisa’s analysis, I think that a PPL policy might increase profitability at Eastmond.	This statement is qualified with too many weak words—based on … , if, think, might. Collectively, these words display a lack of confidence in the program.
More Effective	Using conservative assumptions, Lisa Johnson projected the financial impacts of a 20-week PPL policy. Considering increased productivity gains due to higher employee engagement, savings from reduced turnover, and higher employee costs to cover employees on PPL, we anticipate saving over $900 thousand over the next five years.	This statement expresses confidence that the program will be profitable based on well-developed estimates. It does not seem exaggerated.

Table 5.8a Focusing on Positive Traits

Less Effective	A PPL policy is not just a perk for the few new parents in the organization.	Without any additional elaboration, this sentence does not provide any positive information about a PPL policy.
More Effective	A PPL policy shows that Eastmond is an employee-friendly organization.	This sentence effectively frames the positive impacts of a PPL policy. It is a strategic statement.

Table 5.8b Focusing on Positive Traits

Less Effective	A PPL policy does require significant expenses.	Without any follow-up sentences, this statement falls short of what it could accomplish with positive phrasing.
More Effective	A PPL policy would be an asset to our company, bringing in a strong return on investment.	This positive statement effectively frames the PPL policy as an asset.

Table 5.9a Using Diplomatic, Constructive Terms

Less Effective	I would like to present my argument for why we should immediately implement a PPL policy.	The term argument unnecessarily implies contention and difference of opinion.
More Effective	Thank you for the opportunity to share my analysis of how a paid parental leave (PPL) policy can impact Eastmond Networking.	This statement prefaces the goal of the communication with a compliment, which is a show of solidarity.

Table 5.9b Using Diplomatic, Constructive Terms

Less Effective	Your characterization of the PPL policy as a perk is inaccurate since the it program would actually save the company money.	The phrase your characterization immediately creates a me-versus-you tone.
More Effective	The PPL policy would feel like a perk to employees, which could boost morale. Yet, unlike most perks, it would actually save us money.	By stating the perception of the PPL policy being a perk in neutral terms, the statement would not be perceived as confrontational or divisive.

Concern for Others

Avoid relying too heavily on the I-Voice.

Respect the time and autonomy of your readers.

Give credit to others.

In every facet of business communication, focusing on others is important. It is a basic component of your credibility (caring). In content and form, your message should show that you have the interests of your audience in mind. The following guidelines will help you demonstrate concern for others (also referred to as other-oriented language in some parts of the book):

Avoid relying too heavily on the I-voice.

Respect the time and autonomy of your readers.

Give credit to others.

Table 5.10a Using You-Voice, We-Voice, Impersonal Voice, and I-Voice Appropriately

	Appropriate Situations	Examples
You-Voice	Use when focus is solely on the reader. It is particularly well suited to describing how products and services benefit customers, clients, and colleagues. Avoid when pointing out the mistakes of others or when the statement may be presumptuous.	Effective: You will receive regular updates about how to use PPL and related services to meet your family needs. Effective: You may be interested in Lisa’s cash flow analysis. She found that a 20-week PPL policy would save over $900,000 over five years.

Table 5.10b Using You-Voice, We-Voice, Impersonal Voice, and I-Voice Appropriately

	Appropriate Situations	Examples
We-Voice	Use when focus is on shared efforts, interests, and problems. It is particularly well suited to messages within a company (i.e., work team).	Effective: Were we to offer PPL, we could actively promote this benefit to potential hires. Effective: We could further discuss the estimates for how a PPL policy could impact Eastmond.

Table 5.10c Using You-Voice, We-Voice, Impersonal Voice, and I-Voice Appropriately

	Appropriate Situations	Examples
Impersonal Voice	Use when rational and neutral analysis is expected. It is well suited for explaining business ideas, plans, and reports.	Effective: A PPL policy can increase employee engagement and satisfaction, reduce turnover, and attract top talent. Effective: Creating and implementing a PPL policy will require several steps.

Table 5.10d Using You-Voice, We-Voice, Impersonal Voice, and I-Voice Appropriately

	Appropriate Situations	Examples
I-Voice	Use with nonthreatening verbs (i.e., think, feel) when there is bad news, difference of opinion, or even blame involved. It is well suited for situations that could result in personal disappointments. Used most often in oral communication.	Effective: I think right now is not the right time to focus on creating a PPL policy. Effective: I think your ideas about a PPL policy make a lot of sense, but the company is not in a position to make the initial investments to get it started.

Table 5.11a Ineffective Use of I-Voice

Less Effective	I would like to know as soon as possible when you could meet. I want to go over the estimates with you to show you how strong the case is for pursuing this option. Also, I have developed a timeline for writing the implementation plan that I want to show you right away.	The repeated use of I-voice may be perceived as self-centered, inconsiderate, or pushy.
More Effective	Please let me know when there is a convenient time to meet. We could further discuss the estimates for how a PPL policy program could impact Eastmond. Also, if you think we should pursue this initiative, we could discuss the timeline for developing an implementation plan.	The repeated use of we-voice will likely be perceived as team-oriented and flexible.

Table 5.11b Ineffective Use of I-Voice

Less Effective	I’ve set up the PPL program with extensive pregnancy information, healthcare options for newborns, and advice to bond with your new child. I’m especially proud of the wealth of information that I compiled for you about bonding with a new child. In my experience, the longer a parent can be with a new child, the better. I’ve made sure that you can take a full 20 weeks to bond with your child.	The repeated use of I-voice may come off as self-absorbed or insincere.
More Effective	The PPL program provides you with extensive pregnancy information, healthcare options for your new child, and advice to bond with your child. You have a full 20 weeks of paid leave time to bond with your child.	The repeated use of you-voice frames everything in terms of reader benefits.

Table 5.12a Showing Respect for Time and Autonomy

Less Effective	Call me as soon as you get out of your meeting.	This abrupt and demanding sentence would sound bossy to some people.
More Effective	Please give me a call when it’s convenient.	Using the courteous term please and focusing on the message recipient’s convenience (rather than your own) shows respect.

Table 5.12b Showing Respect for Time and Autonomy

Less Effective	We need to meet before Monday to go over the proposal. Have your administrative assistant set up a time for us and get back to me as soon as you know a time.	These sentences will be interpreted as overly demanding to some readers. In written form, these statements can easily be misinterpreted.
More Effective	I think discussing the proposal with you before Monday would give us a chance to include your ideas in the proposal before we submit it on Wednesday. I’m available anytime before noon on Thursday or Friday. Is there a time that works for you? We could meet at your office, talk by phone, or meet online.	These statements focus on achieving results together by a deadline while still respecting the time of the message recipient.

Table 5.13a Giving Credit to Others

Less Effective	The PPL policy could result in a significant return on investment for Eastmond.	This statement implies that the writer is responsible for this analysis.
More Effective	Lisa also helped me understand how a PPL policy could result in a significant return on investment for Eastmond.	This statement implies that Lisa was instrumental in the analysis.

Table 5.13b Giving Credit to Others

Less Effective	I gave Lisa information about PPL policies so she could plug the numbers in and see what it meant for Eastmond. As I anticipated, the estimate showed that Eastmond would save about $900,000 over six years.	These statements give credit to Lisa yet imply that the real analysis was conducted by the writer.
More Effective	Lisa Johnson estimates a 20-week PPL policy would save about $900,000 over the next five years.	This sentence gives full credit to Lisa for her time-consuming, thorough, and insightful work.

Sending the Right Meta Messages 1

Meta Messages

The overall but often underlying messages people take away from a communication or group of communications.

A combination of content, tone, and other signals.

Whereas tone relates to the overall attitudes or feelings that writers convey toward a message and its recipients, meta messages are the overall but often underlying messages people take away from a communication or group of communications. Meta messages are encoded and decoded as a combination of content, tone, and other signals. In your written and oral communications, think about the lasting meta messages you send. Over the course of sending many communications, you send meta messages that become the basis for your reputation. These meta messages form others’ impressions of your credibility: your competence, caring, and character.

Sending the Right Meta Messages 2

Mixed signals occur when the content of a message conflicts with its tone, nonverbal communication, or other signals.

Sending mixed signals is not only confusing, but it also frequently results in negative meta messages.

Mixed signals occur when the content of a message conflicts with the tone, nonverbal communication, or other signals. Sending mixed signals is not only confusing, but it also frequently results in negative meta messages. Even if a business message is well reasoned and justified, if readers perceive a selfish or manipulative tone, they may decode meta messages such as “I’m not being straight with you” or “I’m opportunistic.” In a job interview, an applicant may say the right things but because of unprofessional dress send a poor meta message, such as “I’m not serious about this job” or “I don’t understand the culture of this company.”

Business Communication: Developing Leaders for a Networked World, 4e Chapter 5

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Accessibility Content: Text Alternatives for Images

Figure 5.2 Time Spent by Poor, Average, and Expert Writers Developing a Complete Business Message – Text Alternative

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Poor writers spend the smallest amount of time completing a business message. They spend little to no time planning. The rest is spent on drafting. They do not review the messages before sending.

Average writers spend the greatest amount of time completing a business message. A small portion of their time is spent planning. Smaller still is the amount of time spent on reviewing. The majority of their time is spent drafting.

Excellent writers spend half of their time planning. The rest of their time is divided equally between drafting and reviewing.

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Figure 5.4a Typical Deductive Framework for a Business Argument and Related Paragraph Structure – Text Alternative

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A flow chart shows at the top of the framework is the primary message, which is a position or recommendation. Underneath this are three key points. Beneath each key point is its evidence. Finally, all the evidence leads to the call to action (also known as the “so what now?” step.)

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Figure 5.4b Typical Deductive Framework for a Business Argument and Related Paragraph Structure – Text Alternative

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One the left side is the typical paragraph organization of a deductive business message. The first paragraph consists of a primary message as its topic sentence and ends with a preview sentence. Subsequent paragraphs begin with key points as their topic sentences. The last paragraph begins with a call to action topic sentence.

The deductive business message’s components are explained on the right:

The opening paragraph has the primary message as a topic sentence, and a preview sentence as the concluding sentence. For example, “We should do X because of Key Point 1, Key Point 2, and Key Point 3.”

The body has supporting paragraphs for each key point, using those points as topic sentences. Most paragraphs are three to five sentences and feature 40 to 100 words.

The concluding paragraph restates the primary message and contains a call to action describing specific steps to be taken.

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