Chapter 4 Discussion

CHAPTER 4 Notes Families

I. IS CONFLICT BETWEEN TEENAGERS AND PARENTS INEVITABLE?

A. Contrary to stereotypes, adolescents and parents usually get along very well, share similar values, and see eye-to-eye on a range of important issues. Unfortunately, parents who

believe in the stereotype that adolescents are difficult are more likely to have more

negative relationships with their adolescent—known as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

B. The Generation Gap: Fact and Fiction: Although most people believe there is a gap between the generations (holding of different values between adolescents and adults), this

is not the case. When there are sharp differences in opinion, they tend to revolve around

matters of personal taste rather than fundamental values and attitudes.

C. What Do Adolescents and Parents Usually Fight About? Studies find that the most common types of disagreements between parents and adolescents include things like

teenagers’ curfews, leisure-time activities, clothing, and the cleanliness of their rooms.

Additionally, conflict between teenagers and parents typically involves the different ways

that they define the same issues. For example, making sure that an adolescent’s bedroom

is tidy is often seen by parents as an area over which they have “jurisdiction.” Teenagers,

however, tend to see their rooms as their own private space, and decisions about neatness

are matters of personal choice. In other words, teenagers and their parents often clash

more over the definition of the issue (e.g., whether something is a matter of safety rather

than a matter of personal choice) than over the specific details. Researchers in many

countries have found similar results on this issue.

D. Rebels With a Cause: Contrary to stereotype, adolescents rarely rebel against their parents just for the sake of rebelling. Adolescents are usually willing to accept their

parents’ rules when they agree that the issue is a moral one (such as cheating on a test) or

a safety-related one (such as drinking and driving), but they are less inclined to accept

their parents’ authority when they view the issue as personal. Adolescents who believe

that their parents are overcontrolling are more likely to become oppositional. As

adolescents age, they become more willing to lie to their parents.

II. FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS AT ADOLESCENCE

A. A Time of Reorganization and Change: Family systems’ theorists suggest that families must adapt to the changing needs and capabilities of each of their members. Families

move through phases and stages in their development that make up a family life cycle.

Adolescence presents a challenge to most families. Because of biological, cognitive, and

social changes in the adolescent, the entire system—especially parents—must adjust with

resultant changes in family functions and needs.

B. The Adolescent’s Parents at Midlife: For many adults, midlife is a time of heightened introspection and personal reevaluation. It can be a difficult time for adults whether they

have children or not. Some experts even describe this time as a “midlife crisis.”

C. Midlife Meets Adolescence: Because many parents are at this stage in the life cycle when their children are teenagers, the so-called midlife crisis of adulthood may coincide with

the “identity crisis” of adolescence. This overlap of crises is likely to affect family

relationships. At midlife, parents must contrast their adolescent hopes with their current

status.

D. The Mental Health of Parents: One study found that nearly two-thirds of mothers and fathers described adolescence as the most difficult stage of parenting. In general, parents

who have some strong interests outside the family or who are very happily married cope

better with the changes of adolescence than do other parents. Single mothers may be

especially vulnerable to negative consequences while parenting adolescents. The belief

that mental health declines when adolescents leave home (the “empty nest” stage) is a

myth, especially among mothers. Parents’ mental health is worse when their teenage

children are living at home than it is once they have moved out. When children leave

home, it is fathers, not mothers, who typically feel the greatest sense of loss.

E. Changes in Family Needs and Functions: One of the most important changes undergone by the family during adolescence is financial. All parents are burdened with maintaining

their adolescents’ clothing and peer-related expenses, and many also face the economic

burden of saving for college. Additionally, parents may also find themselves financially

responsible for their own aging parents. The financial demands placed on parents in the

“sandwich generation” (i.e., sandwiched between their adolescent children and their

aging parents) require considerable adjustment. Families must also adjust and cope with

the increasing importance of the adolescent’s peer group. Friction in the family also may

arise from parents perceiving the adolescent as being more able to shoulder a greater part

of family obligations.

F. Special Concerns of Immigrant Families: Although American families are likely to have an individualistic orientation, immigrant families seem to place an especially high value

on familism (when the needs of one’s family take precedence over the needs of the

individual). When family members expect an adolescent to spend a lot of time translating

bills or insurance forms, the parents’ authority over him or her may be undermined.

When an adolescent adopts values and expectations of a new country but his or her

parents do not, a difficult situation called generational dissonance results.

G. Transformations in Family Relations: The changes that adolescents undergo, the changes their parents undergo, and changes the entire family undergoes make this a challenging

time. Adolescents become less likely to accept parents’ authority and start to seek a

relationship where they are on a more equal footing with their parents.

H. Changes in the Balance of Power: Early adolescence marks the beginning of the shift toward the adolescent’s desire for more egalitarian roles in the family. As a result, it is

from ages 12–16 that we observe the most disruption in the family. By ages 16–20,

however, adolescents act and are treated as adults more often, and their relationships with

their parents improve. What parents and other adults may consider a serious discussion

can be interpreted by adolescents as a show of anger.

I. The Role of Puberty: The adolescent’s biological and cognitive maturation also play a role in the family transformation. Although puberty has been associated with diminished

closeness and physical affection, this type of distancing diminishes during late

adolescence. Patterns of closeness in the family at adolescence may vary across ethnic

groups and may also differ as a function of the family’s degree of acculturation. For

example, in Asian households, conflict usually increases later in adolescence because

Asian teenagers are less likely to push for independence at an early age. Additionally, in

Mexican American families, higher rates of parent–adolescent cohesion during mid-

adolescence are found among more highly acculturated families.

J. Sex Differences in Family Relationships: In general, sons and daughters report similar degrees of closeness to their parents, amounts of conflict, types of rules, and patterns of

activity. However, teenagers relate very differently to mothers and fathers. When

examining the role of gender in the parent–adolescent relationship, the gender of the

parent with whom the adolescent interacts seems to be the most influential factor in the

relationship. Across many ethnic groups and cultures, adolescents tend to be closer to

their mothers, to spend more time alone with their mothers, and to feel more comfortable

talking to their mothers about problems and other emotional matters (which probably

contributes to why mothers tend to be more involved than fathers in their adolescents’

lives). However, adolescents also fight more often with their mothers than with their

fathers and perceive mothers as more controlling. Although adolescents spend about

twice as much time with their mothers as with their fathers, time spent with fathers—

perhaps because it is a relative rarity—is more predictive of adolescents’ social

competence and feelings of self-worth.

III. FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS AND ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT

A. Relationships differ from family to family. Some parents are stricter than others, and some show more affection than others. Are some styles of parenting more likely to be

associated with healthy development? When considering the impact of various patterns of

family relationships on the development of the adolescent, it is important to remember

that the socialization of the adolescent is a two-way street. In other words, it is a product

of how the parents influence the adolescent and how the adolescent influences the

parents. For example, harsh (punitive and/or physical) discipline leads to increases in an

adolescent’s problem behavior, which, in turn, leads to more punitive and detached

parenting. In addition, various types of parenting can affect adolescents differently. For

example, hostile and aloof parenting can lead to more antisocial behavior in adolescents

who are temperamentally more impulsive; in contrast, the same parenting behaviors can

lead to anxiety and depression in adolescents who are temperamentally more introverted.

B. Parenting Styles and Their Effects: Two aspects of parents’ behavior toward adolescents are critical: parental responsiveness (degree to which the parent responds to the child’s

needs in an accepting, supportive manner) and parental demandingness (the extent to

which the parent expects and demands mature, responsible behavior from the child).

C. Four Types of Parenting: Social scientists distinguish among four general types of parenting styles: authoritative parenting, which is warm, firm, and fair; authoritarian

parenting, which is more punitive, restrictive, and controlling; indulgent parenting, which

is more accepting, benign, and passive; and indifferent parenting, which is withdrawn,

disengaged, or absent. Authoritative parents seek to raise a child who is self-reliant and

has a strong sense of initiative. Authoritarian parents place a high value on obedience and

conformity, with the underlying belief that the child should accept without question the

rules and standards established by the parents. They also tend to favor more absolute and

forceful disciplinary measures. Indulgent parents place relatively few demands on the

child’s behavior and seem to be especially concerned with raising a happy child.

Indifferent parents are neither responsive nor demanding and try to minimize the time

and energy they must devote to interacting with their child.

D. The Power of Authoritative Parenting: The research findings on the link between what parents do and how adolescents turn out have been amazingly consistent. Authoritative

parenting has been shown to benefit adolescents from a variety of ethnic backgrounds,

social classes, and family structures (within and outside the United States). Generally

speaking, adolescents who grow up in households in which parents are authoritative—

high in both responsiveness and demandingness—are more responsible, self-assured,

creative, intellectually curious, socially skilled, and academically successful than their

peers who are raised in authoritarian, indulgent, or indifferent homes. Furthermore,

authoritative parenting encourages intellectual growth, the development of autonomy,

and the formation of healthy peer relationships and identifications between young people

and their parents. In contrast, adolescents raised in authoritarian homes are more

dependent, more passive, less socially adept, less self-assured, and less intellectually

curious. Adolescents raised in indulgent homes are less mature, less responsible, and

more conforming to their peers. Adolescents raised in indifferent homes are often

impulsive and more likely to be involved in delinquent behavior and in experimentation

with sex, drugs, and alcohol. The evidence supporting the advantages of authoritative

parenting is strong.

E. Ethnic Differences in Parenting Practices: Ethnic differences do exist in parenting styles. It is important to distinguish between the prevalence of parenting styles in different

populations and the effect of parenting styles in different populations. Authoritative

parenting is less common among Black, Asian, and Hispanic families than it is among

White families. Some ethnic minority families that appear to use authoritarian parenting

actually use “strict-affectionate” parenting, according to some studies. Authoritarian

parenting may be less harmful in ethnic minority families that live in dangerous

communities. Adolescents in all ethnic groups benefit from responsive, demanding

parenting.

F. The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting: Based on many decades of parenting and child development research, Steinberg identified 10 things that parents should keep in

mind: (1) what you do matters; (2) you cannot be too loving; (3) be involved in your

child’s life; (4) adapt your parenting to fit your child; (5) establish rules and set limits; (6)

help foster your child’s independence; (7) be consistent; (8) avoid harsh discipline; (9)

explain your rules and decisions; and (10) treat your child with respect.

G. How Authoritative Parenting Works: First, authoritative parents provide an appropriate balance between restrictiveness and autonomy, giving the adolescent opportunities to

develop self-reliance while providing the standards, limits, and guidelines that teenagers

still need. Second, because authoritative parents are more likely to engage their children

in verbal give-and-take, they are likely to promote the sort of intellectual development

that provides an important foundation for the development of psychosocial maturity.

Third, because authoritative parenting is based on a warm parent–adolescent relationship,

adolescents are more likely to identify with, admire, and form strong attachments to their

parents, which make them more open to their parents’ influence. It is important to keep in

mind that the child’s own behavior, personality, and temperament may play a role in

shaping parents’ behavior. Children who are responsible, self-directed, curious, and self-

assured elicit parental behavior that is warm and flexible. In contrast, children who are

irritable, aggressive, dependent, or less psychosocially mature may provoke parents’

behavior that is excessively harsh, passive, or distant.

H. Autonomy and Attachment in the Adolescent’s Family: Studies of parent–adolescent interaction show that the healthiest families are those that permit the adolescent to

develop a sense of autonomy while staying emotionally attached to the family.

Adolescents who are permitted to assert their own opinions within a family context that is

secure and loving develop higher self-esteem and more mature coping abilities.

Adolescents whose autonomy is squelched are at risk for developing feelings of

depression and low self-esteem, whereas those who do not feel connected are more likely

than their peers to develop behavior problems.

I. Adolescents’ Relationships with Siblings: Children and adolescents learn much about social relationships from sibling interactions and, in general, adolescents’ relations with

siblings are different from those with parents or with friends. Adolescents rate their

sibling relationships similarly to those with their parents in companionship and

importance, but more like friendships with respect to power, assistance, and their

satisfaction with the relationship. Over the course of adolescence, adolescents’

relationships with siblings—especially with younger siblings—become more equal but

more distant, less influential, and less emotionally intense. Additionally, patterns of

change in sibling relationships differ between same-sex and opposite-sex dyads. Siblings’

relationships, however, improve as adolescents move into adulthood. Despite these

changes over time, there is considerable stability in sibling relationships, with those who

are relatively close during childhood remaining close during adolescence. Siblings can

learn a great deal from each other, both positive and negative. Positive sibling

relationships contribute to adolescents’ academic competence, sociability, health,

autonomy, and self-worth. Research also shows that siblings can influence each other’s

drug use and antisocial behavior.

J. A Network of Relationships: The quality of the parent–adolescent relationship affects the quality of relations between brothers and sisters. Also, the quality of adolescents’

relationships with their friends affects how they interact with their own siblings.

IV. GENETIC INFLUENCES ON ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT

A. Researchers interested in studying the issue of genetic and environmental influences examine this issue in three main ways: (1) studying adolescents who are twins, to see

whether identical twins are more similar than fraternal twins; (2) studying adolescents

who have been adopted, to see whether adopted adolescents are more like their biological

parents than like their adoptive parents; and (3) studying adolescents and their siblings in

stepfamilies, to see whether similarity between siblings varies with their biological

relatedness. Thanks to molecular genetics, scientists can identify different versions of a

specific gene that are associated with certain traits. Genetic mutations called alleles may

guide development in different directions. For instance, the alleles we inherit from our

parents may make us more likely or less likely to develop depression when exposed to

stress.

B. Genetic and Environmental Influences on Adolescent Development: Behavior genetics distinguishes between two types of environmental influences: shared environmental

influences (factors in the environment that siblings have in common) and nonshared

environmental influences (factors in the environment that are not similar and make

siblings different from one another). Research suggests that aggression, various

emotional and behavioral problems (e.g., depression, suicide), intelligence, competence,

self-conceptions, and self-image are all influenced by genetic factors. It is important to

understand that genes may shape biological tendencies, but whether these tendencies are

actualized often depends on the environment (e.g., genetic influences on antisocial

behavior are stronger among adolescents who have delinquent peers). Some adolescents

have inherited a genetic profile that makes them more sensitive to their environment—for

better or for worse.

C. Differential Susceptibility to the Environment: A vulnerability called a diathesis makes some people more likely to develop depression or other problems than others in the same

circumstances. Many but not all diatheses are genetic. The diathesis itself does not

guarantee the presence of depression. Instead, there must also be environmental triggers.

Most experts now understand depression as an example of the diathesis-stress model.

This means that there must be a predisposition and an environmental trigger for

depression to happen. Not all people who inherit a predisposition to a mental disorder

become mentally ill, just as not all children of alcoholics become alcoholics. According

to differential susceptibility theory, the same genetic factors that make some people more

susceptible to stress and other toxic environmental influences also make them more easily

influenced by positive contexts.

D. Why Are Siblings Often So Different? Research suggests that adolescents are quite dissimilar from their brothers and sisters, despite the strong genetic and environmental

influences they share. Siblings often differ from each other because they experience the

family (e.g., interactions with mom or dad) and their environment (e.g., school, friends,

neighborhood) differently. Sometimes younger siblings grow up in very different

economic circumstances than older ones. In addition, parents often treat siblings

differently. In fact, having parents treat siblings differently, so long as each sibling is

treated well, makes siblings feel more unique and thus lessens sibling rivalry. When

siblings feel they are too alike, they sometimes deliberately try to be different from one

another. In addition to having different experiences inside the family, siblings may have

very different experiences at school and with friends.

V. THE ADOLESCENT’S FAMILY IN A CHANGING SOCIETY

A. The family has undergone a series of profound changes during the past half century, and questions as to whether these changes have harmed adolescents have been the center of

much debate. Four important topics that impact adolescents in American families are

divorce, single-parent households, remarriage, and poverty.

B. Divorce: In the United States, the divorce rate peaked in 1980 and has fallen since. However, more couples are cohabitating now, and when those couples split up, it is not

considered divorce. Divorce has become far less common among college graduates.

C. Single Parenthood: Today, 60 percent of children are born outside of marriage. However, many adolescents who are classified as living in a single-parent household live with a

parent’s partner in addition to the parent. Black adolescents are far more likely to be born

to a single parent and to experience a parent’s divorce, but they are far less likely to

experience their parents’ remarriage.

D. Remarriage: Most youngsters whose parents separate live in a stepfamily at some time. The majority of youth whose parents remarry will experience a second divorce.

E. Poverty: About 20 percent of all U.S. adolescents live in abject poverty, and another 20 percent grow up in low-income homes. Because non-White children are more likely to be

raised in single-parent homes, they are more likely to be poor. However, because the

conditions under which divorce, single parenthood, and remarriage take place vary so

much, it is hard to generalize about their effects.

F. Adolescents and Divorce: Although adolescents from divorced homes tend to have more developmental difficulties than adolescents from nondivorced homes, the explanation for

this difference is far more complicated than the conventional wisdom that “Two parents

are better than one” or “All children need a mother and a father.”

G. The Effect of Divorce Is Small in Magnitude: Divorce diminishes youngsters’ well-being, but the impact of divorce is small.

H. Quality Matters: The quality of relationships a young person has with important adults matters more than the number of parents present in the home. Adolescents in two-parent

households do not always have warm, close relationships with their parents.

I. Adaptation to Divorce: The process of going through a divorce, not the resulting family structure, matters most for adolescents’ mental health. Within about 2 years, most young

people of divorced parents have adjusted to the change and behave similarly to teens

whose biological parents stayed married.

J. Conflict and Stress: Research has linked the negative consequences of divorce to exposure of children to marital conflict, disorganized or disrupted parenting, and

increased stress (often due to loss of income). These factors harm youngsters regardless

of whether both parents are present or whether the parents stay together or split up. The

most important pathway through which divorce may adversely affect adolescent

adjustment is via its direct and indirect impact on the quality of parenting to which the

child is exposed.

K. Genetic Influences: One reason that adolescents from divorced homes have more problems than their peers may be that they have inherited from their parents some of the

same traits that influenced their parents’ decision to get divorced in the first place.

L. Individual Differences in the Effects of Divorce: Research on divorce indicates that the period of greatest difficulty is the time immediately following the event. Immediate

problems are relatively more common among boys, younger children, children with

difficult temperaments, children who do not have supportive relationships with adults

outside the family, and youth whose parents divorce during the transition into

adolescence (as opposed to before or after this transition). As early adolescence may be a

particularly vulnerable and sensitive period, parental divorce at this time may have a

stronger impact. Contact with extended family members has been found to be an

important buffer for Black children growing up in single-parent homes.

M. The Specific Impact of Marital Conflict: Overt, hostile, physically violent, or frightening marital conflict has been linked to a wide range of adolescent problems including

aggression, delinquency, and other types of behavioral problems. Self-blame, insecurity,

anxiety, and depression also may result from exposure to marital conflict. Importantly,

marital conflict that disrupts the quality of the parent–child relationship seems to cause

the most problems for the adolescent. Parents also differ in how much they disclose about

their divorce to their adolescents. Adolescents fare worse when they are drawn into their

divorced parents’ conflict. Specifically, when mothers complain about their ex-husbands

or discuss financial concerns, adolescents report more psychological distress (e.g.,

anxiety, depression, tension, psychosomatic complaints).

N. The Longer-Term Effects of Divorce: Preadolescents whose parents divorce often show adjustment difficulties later, even after 2 or 3 years. Some research shows that children of

divorce have adjustment problems well into their 30s. Parental remarriage does not

improve these effects.

O. Sleeper Effects: Although most adolescents ultimately adapt to parental divorce, new research indicates that certain adjustment or behavior problems may appear or reappear in

adolescence (referred to as “sleeper effects”). These late manifestations of divorce might

be due to poor parental monitoring in divorced households, or it may have to do with how

a divorce shaped an adolescent’s concept of relationships and romantic commitment.

P. Custody, Contact, and Conflict Following Divorce: Healthy adjustment following the parents’ divorce is influenced more by the nature of the relationship between the divorced

parents than by adolescents’ place of residence. Although contact with the noncustodial

parent (usually the father) declines rapidly after the parent moves out, research is

inconclusive regarding the consequences of this decrease in contact. While there is some

disagreement in the field, in general, adolescents (both sons and daughters) who have

regular postdivorce contact with their fathers have fewer problems (although some

research suggests that healthy, well-adjusted adolescents may encourage more father

involvement). Research has consistently indicated, however, that financial support from

fathers is associated with less problem behavior and higher academic achievement.

Ultimately, it is the level of conflict between the divorced parents that determines the

consequences for the adolescent.

Q. Remarriage: Because adolescents’ mental health suffers somewhat each time their family situation changes, young people growing up in stepfamilies may be at even greater risk

than their peers in single-parent, divorced homes. In general, girls show more difficulty in

adjusting to remarriage than boys do, and older children have more difficulty than

younger children. Research has aimed at a better characterization of the special problems

that arise in the course of family organization. Establishing a new equilibrium within the

family after remarriage can be fraught with problems and pitfalls, especially if the

adolescent is vulnerable from previous events.

R. Difficulties Adjusting to Parental Remarriage: Adolescents and new stepparents often find the transition to a new family very difficult. One factor that seems to make a

difference in adolescents’ adjustment to remarriage is the quality of the relationship they

maintain with the noncustodial biological parent. Additionally, studies find that

adolescents who feel close to both their father and stepfather have better outcomes than

those who are close to one but not the other.

S. Economic Stress and Poverty: Studies of family income loss and adolescent adjustment suggest many parallels with research on divorce and remarriage.

T. The Effects of Financial Strain: Adolescents whose families have suffered severe economic losses, or who live in chronic poverty, are at heightened risk of psychological

difficulties and problem behavior. Research on economic strain and its impact on the

adolescent indicates that the main effects of financial stress are transmitted to the

adolescent through the negative impact they have on parents’ mental health and marital

relations. Parents under financial strain or persistent poverty are harsher, more

inconsistent, less vigilant, more enmeshed in conflict, and less involved as parents,

which, in turn, lead to emotional, behavioral, and adjustment problems for their children.

U. The Impact of Chronic Poverty: Poor children are more likely to be exposed to violence, feel alienated from school, and have higher overall stress levels, all of which can

contribute to mental health problems. Research indicates that families in poor

neighborhoods who have adequate sources of social support and/or strong ties to religious

institutions fare better than families who do not have access to these resources.

V. Homeless Adolescents: On any given night, 1.3 million adolescents are living on the street. Teenagers are more likely to be homeless than any other group. The population of

runaway youth is 75 percent female and as much as 40 percent LGBTQ. Many homeless

shelters do not accept unaccompanied teenagers. Many homeless teenagers resort to

selling drugs or trading sex for food.

W. Special Family Forms: Many adolescents are reared by adoptive parents, lesbian and gay parents, and foster parents.

X. Adolescents and Adoption: On average, research has revealed that adopted adolescents may experience relatively higher rates of delinquency, substance use, psychological

difficulties, and poorer school performance. However, the magnitude of this difference is

actually quite small when factors such as family resources and feelings about adoption

are taken into account.

Y. Adolescents with Lesbian or Gay Parents: Diversity in family form is also reflected in the number of adolescents who are reared by same-sex parents. Research has consistently

indicated that children and adolescents with lesbian or gay parents are not

psychologically different from children and adolescents with straight parents.

Z. Adolescents in Foster Care: Approximately 175,000 teenagers are in the foster care system (temporary placement when the adolescents’ parents are not able to provide care,

safety, or supervision). Adolescents who have spent time in foster care are at an increased

risk for emotional and behavioral problems, which could be due to the abuse or neglect

that precipitated foster placement, the foster care placement itself, or the fact that many

adolescents in the foster care system are exposed to frequent disruptions in living

arrangements (e.g., back and forth between their parents’ home and a foster care

placement or between different foster care placements).

VI. THE IMPORTANCE OF THE FAMILY IN ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT

Regardless of household composition, parenting style, and income, the most important

protective factor for adolescents is a feeling of connectedness with parents and family.

Although every culture has a unique way of expressing it, adolescents whose

relationships with their parents are characterized by love and commitment are healthier,

happier, and more competent than their peers who lack family support.