assignment
ESSENTIALS OF BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
8th Canadian Edition
Mary Ellen Guffey/Dana Loewy/
Richard Almonte
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Chapter 3
Writing and Revising
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Learning Objectives
1. Contrast different methods of researching data and generating ideas for messages.
2. Explain how to organize information into outlines.
3. Compare direct and indirect patterns for organizing messages.
4. Identify components of effective sentences.
5. Revise messages to achieve conciseness, clarity, and impact.
6. Revise messages to achieve visual persuasiveness.
7. Describe effective techniques for proofreading documents.
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The Writing Process
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[[Catch—Figure 3.1 from p.57 of 8ce, The Writing Process]]
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Writing: Researching
Ask yourself the following questions:
What does the receiver need to know about this topic?
What is the receiver to do?
How is the receiver to do it?
When must the receiver do it?
What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do it?
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Collect the needed information before writing to a customer, client, or manager.
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Writing: Researching
Research Methods
Search secondary sources (books, dictionaries, company files, library databases).
Go directly to the source (interviews, surveys).
Conduct experiments.
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Writing: Researching
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Informal Research and Idea Generation
Search your company (company files, consult colleagues).
Talk with your manager (get information from the person who gave you the assignment).
Interview the target audience (talk with individuals to whom the message is aimed).
Conduct an informal survey (questionnaires, telephone surveys).
Brainstorm for ideas (alone or with others).
Writing: Organizing Data
Outlining
Create outline.
Choosing a pattern
Direct pattern (you expect the reader to be pleased, mildly interested, or neutral; put your main point in the first or second sentence).
Indirect pattern (you expect the reader to be unwilling or displeased; put the main idea deeper in the message).
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Sample Outline
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Writing: Organizing Data
Openings
Direct Opening
The Marketing Department at Bombardier suggests cutting costs for the annual awards ceremony by adjusting the way we order food and the way we handle rentals.
Indirect Opening
Bombardier is seeking to improve the process undertaken in producing its annual company awards ceremony. To this end, the Marketing Department, which is in charge of the event, has been refining last year’s plan, especially as regards the issue of rental costs and food and beverage costs.
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Ask the students to think of two possible situations in which they would use the indirect opening and two possible situations in which they would use the direct opening.
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Writing: Organizing Data
Direct Pattern
Use if the audience is likely to be receptive or agreeable
Saves the reader time
Sets a proper frame of mind
Prevents frustration
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Writing: Organizing Data
Indirect Pattern
Use if audience is likely to be upset by bad news
Respects the feelings of the audience
Encourages a fair hearing
Minimizes a negative reaction
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Writing: Organizing Data
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Indirect Pattern
Works well with three kinds of messages:
1. Bad news
2. Ideas that require persuasion
3. Sensitive news
Constructing Effective Sentences
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Use a variety of sentence types:
A simple sentence (contains one complete thought)
A compound sentence (contains two complete but related thoughts)
A complex sentence (contains an independent clause and a dependent clause)
A compound-complex sentence (contains at least two independent clauses and one dependent clause)
To add variety to your writing, use four different sentence types.
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Constructing Effective Sentences
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Controlling Sentence Length
Limit your sentences to 20 or fewer words.
Reader comprehension drops off as sentences become longer (American Press Institute).
Controlling sentence length influences readability.
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Constructing Effective Sentences
Fragments
A sentence that is usually a broken-off part of a complex sentence
Often identified by the words that introduce the sentence (although, as, because, even, except, for example, if, instead of, since, such as, that, which, and when)
If the sentence starts with any of these words, make sure the clause is attached to an independent clause
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One of the most serious offences a writer can make.
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Constructing Effective Sentences
Run-On (Fused) Sentences
Sentence that has two or more independent clauses
Clauses must be joined by
a coordinating conjunction (and, or, not, but)
a semicolon (;)
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Constructing Effective Sentences
Comma Splice Sentences
Sentence that has two independent clauses joined by a comma
Clauses should be joined with
a coordinating conjunction
a conjunctive adverb (however, consequently, therefore, etc.) and a semicolon
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Writing: The First Draft
Prevent “writer’s block” by referring to your plan.
Write quickly (sprint writing) and don’t be afraid of errors—you can correct them later.
Read the message out loud to catch mistakes or an uneven flow.
Save your work!
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Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
Revising means improving the content and sentence structure of the message.
You may add or delete material.
Try to make the message as concise as possible (less is more).
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Ask students for any suggestions for revising and proofreading that they may have used that are not mentioned in the chapter. Reinforce the advice given in Chapter 2 of the text: that 50 percent of the time spent completing a business message should be devoted to revising and proofreading.
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Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
Concise Wording
Search for expressions that could be conveyed with one or two words.
Common examples:
at a later date = later
at this point in time = now
afford an opportunity = allow
are of the opinion that = believe, think that
in the event that = if
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Discuss with your students how the expression “Time is money” is relevant in this situation.
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Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Long Lead-Ins
Delete unnecessary introductory words or phrases.
Wordy:
I am sending you this announcement to let you all know that the office will be closed Monday.
Concise:
The office will be closed Monday.
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Outdated Expressions
Use modern, concise phrasing
as per your request = at your request
attached hereto = attached
thanking you in advance = thank you
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Needless Adverbs
Eliminating intensifying adverbs such as very, definitely, quite, completely, extremely, really, actually, somewhat, and rather streamlines your writing.
Omitting these intensifiers generally makes you sound more credible and businesslike.
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Fillers
Avoid crowding sentences with extra words.
| Wordy | Concise |
| There are three vice presidents who report directly to the president. | Three vice presidents report directly to the president. |
| It is the client who should make application for licensing. | The client should apply for licensing. |
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Repetitious Words
Vary words to avoid unnecessary repetitions.
Employees will be able to elect an additional six employees to serve with the four previously elected employees who currently comprise the employees’ board of directors. To ensure representation, shift employees will be electing one shift employee as their sole representative.
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Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Redundant Words
Words whose meanings are clearly implied by other words.
absolutely essential = essential
big in size = big
adequate enough = adequate
new beginning = beginning
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Parallelism
Use similar structures to express similar ideas.
Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, and clauses with clauses.
Keep the wording balanced in expressing similar ideas.
Parallelism
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| Lacks Parallelism | Illustrates Parallelism |
| The policy affected all vendors, suppliers, and those involved with consulting. | The policy affected all vendors, suppliers, and consultants. (Matches nouns) |
| Our primary goals are to increase productivity, reduce costs, and the improvement of product quality. | Our primary goals are to increase productivity, reduce costs, and improve product quality. (Matches verbs) |
| We are scheduled to meet in Atlanta on January 5, we are meeting in Montreal on the 15th of March, and in Chicago on June 3. | We are scheduled to meet in Atlanta on January 5, in Montreal on March 15, and in Chicago on June 3. (Matches phrases) |
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Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
Appropriate Wording
Avoid using jargon (technical terms) unless otherwise specified.
Avoid slang (even though it may be difficult).
Avoid clichés that could be misunderstood, for example:
hard facts
make a bundle
one in a million
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Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Instant-Messaging and Texting Speak
As a rule, never use “instant-message speak” when your message is going to a customer, to another audience outside your company, to a manager, or fellow employee with whom you have never communicated before.
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Precise Verbs
Select verbs that will help the reader see precisely what is happening.
General:
Our salesperson will contact you next week.
Precise:
Our salesperson will (telephone, e-mail, visit) you next week.
Using Active and Passive Voice Effectively
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Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Concrete Nouns
Help readers visualize the meanings of words
General:
a change in our budget
Concrete:
a 10 percent reduction in our budget
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
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Vivid Adjectives
General:
Clayton needs a better truck.
Vivid:
Clayton needs a rugged, four-wheel-drive, Dodge truck.
Revising: Understanding the Process of Revision
Designing Documents for Readability
Employ white space (use headings, margins, and small paragraphs).
Use lists for quick comprehension:
Numbered lists show a sequence.
Bulleted lists show items in no particular order.
Points must be parallel and capitalized.
Add end punctuation only if listed items are a complete sentence.
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Using Document Design to Improve Readability
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Revising: The Proofreading Process
Proofreading improves:
spelling (affect or effect? desert or dessert?)
grammar (do subjects agree with verbs?)
punctuation (commas, semicolons, and colons)
names and numbers
format (paragraphs)
consistency
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Have students complete the “Writing Improvement Exercises,” “Grammar/Mechanics Review,” and the “Grammar/Mechanics Challenge.” These can be done in or outside class and be evaluated formally or informally.
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Summary
Researching: Ask yourself questions to prepare for writing.
Writing: Organize your data in an outline.
Writing: Write down whatever comes to mind.
Revising: Read over your work to improve wording and eliminate errors.
Proofreading: Look for irregularities in spelling, grammar, punctuation, names, and format; proofread from a printed copy.
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