400 WORDS SEXUALITY AND GENDER

CHAPTER 22

Christian Integration in Sexuality and Gender Issues

Tim Stauffer & Brittany Lashua

VIDEO

Author Bios

Tim Stauffer, PhD, is a licensed professional clinical counselor-supervisor in Ohio, a certified sexual recovery therapist, and an adjunct professor at Liberty University. He works in private practice in the greater Columbus area. He has specialized in the treatment of sexual addictions and marriage counseling for over 10 years. Dr. Stauffer is married to his lovely bride of 26 years and has three children. He has a deep love for Jesus and the scriptures, and a passion for the ethical integration of faith and counseling.

Brittany Lashua, PhD, NCC, is a licensed professional counselor supervisor in Texas who has practiced sex therapy, with a focus on trauma and couples, for over 10 years. She is also an associate professor at Liberty University. She is the owner of a group private practice in the Dallas area. She is married to the love of her life and has one child. Dr. Lashua believes that the integration of faith with sexuality is deeply important in counseling work and the ability of the clinician to be present and attuned is powerful.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

After reading this chapter, students will be able to:

1.

Understand the role of values in issues of sexuality,

2.

Describe a Biblical perspective of sexuality and gender, and

3.

Explain how to ethically approach issues of sexuality and gender.

Introduction

The primary task of this chapter is to help Christian counseling students think critically about the integration of faith and values when addressing a client’s sexuality and/or gender concerns. It is important to note that the focus of treatment must always center around the client’s concerns and not the counselor’s moral concerns related to their client’s sexual behaviors or sexual/gender identities. The moment a counselor makes the focus of counseling about their moral concerns, it’s no longer a counseling relationship. That said, clients regularly ask counselors to help them sort through the challenges they face regarding sexual behavior and identity concerns. Herein lies the challenge facing the therapist: to ethically help their clients with sexuality/gender issues when they tie back to religious, philosophical, or ideological valuing systems. Counselors often wonder if this can be done without violating the ethical mandate to avoid the imposition of values on a client (American Counseling Association, 2014). This chapter will propose a way forward for Christian counselors to ethically integrate faith and values conversation when addressing issues of sexuality and gender.

Furthermore, it is critical for counselors to be aware that issues of sexuality and gender are often polarizing within the current religious, cultural, and political landscape. This is because sexuality and gender are values-laden constructs that can be intense and divisive. Therefore, counselors need to be prepared for clients to present in therapy with conflicts related to sexuality and gender; these issues spill over into the clinical concerns a client brings into the therapy office, even when they are not the presenting concern. Christ living in us has equipped us with the ability to show love, patience, and self-control. Therefore, in order to best care for clients, Christian counselors must be equipped to face these concerns and choose to not engage in religious, cultural, or political battles with their clients regardless of the differences between the client’s and counselor’s values.

Moreover, sexuality and gender are inextricably tied to a person’s values system (Yarhouse, 2001), which includes both structural and functional elements. These structural elements refer to the philosophical, theological, or religious underpinnings of the person’s worldview or ideology. In short, the structure is about values, beliefs, identity, and understanding of what is moral, right, and good. The functional elements refer to the way a person operationalizes the structure of their identity and values. In short, the function is about the outworking or expression of values through choices, attitudes, and behavior.

For example, Sarah is a 32-year-old client who grew up in the South and has structural issues related to her Pentecostal Christian background and what she learned growing up about God, sexuality, and how she’s supposed to exist as a woman. She went to a liberal arts college outside of New York City and was exposed to different beliefs about spirituality and sexuality, along with feminine expression. From a functional perspective, Sarah, who is recently married, struggles with shame around being a sexual being with her husband even though she experimented with casual sexual experiences in college.

It is common for clients to seek counseling for both structural and functional issues related to sexuality and gender. There are various sexual and gender challenges that cause difficulty and lead people to ask for help. Many common sexual and gender concerns include sexual performance and desire issues, sexual relationship issues, sexual trauma and abuse, sexual addictions, sexual and gender identity concerns, sexual offending, and paraphilias (Yarhouse & Tan, 2014). In order to best meet the needs of our clients, Christian counselors must be willing and equipped to face both structural and functional issues related to sexuality and gender.

Purpose Statement

As previously noted, the purpose of this chapter is to propose a framework for Christian counselors to ethically integrate their faith and interact with their client’s faith in the counseling process. The purpose of this chapter does not include a proposition of a particular viewpoint or theology of sexuality and gender despite the authors having clear convictions, beliefs, and values about sexuality and gender rooted in Christian orthodoxy. The authors would like the reader to engage the material from their own vantage point and consider how their faith and values will inform their counseling work with clients who may or may not espouse the same sexual or gender values and perspectives they do. In reality, no matter how integrated and regulated counselors believe they are, there will eventually be something that forces the counselor to face the intersection of personal values and the client’s values (Francis & Dugger, 2014).

Theology of Sex and Gender

Christians and secular cultures share many common values related to sexuality. For example, Christians and many non-Christians share the belief that sex should be a consensual act (Balswick & Balswick, 2008). Additionally, many non-Christians will agree with Christians about the value of monogamy in marriage. However, differences in sexual values between Christians and secular culture are often very stark and distinct such as the definition of marriage, the use of pornography, premarital sex, and perspectives on sexual and gender identity, to name a few (Yarhouse & Tan, 2014). Additionally, those who identify as Christian have often been influenced by secular sexual values. Therefore, it would behoove the Christian counselor to not assume that any identifying Christian believes a certain set of values.

Furthermore, it is crucial that counselors who are Christian take time to process the concepts of sexuality, gender, and God. Counselor education and training in issues of sexuality increase the likelihood that a counselor will discuss sexual issues with their clients (Zeglin et al., 2018). Training and preparation set the framework for what models and treatments are utilized and applied in a way that honors our clients. Christian counselors must respect their clients by preparing to interface with those who are experiencing the impact of sexual abuse/trauma, sexual desire and performance issues, sexually addictive behaviors, sexual and gender identity concerns, and more. As mentioned previously, sexual and gender issues often involve a complex mix of values-laden variables, and the current social and political climate related to sexuality and gender can be polarizing, contentious, and full of pitfalls. These complexities require wisdom (James 1:5), sensitivity, compassion, extensive training (Romans 12:2), and ongoing professional peer consultation (Proverbs 15:22) from the Christian counselor.

For the sake of clarity and as a reminder, it is not the authors’ intent or purpose to advance a particular theological or ideological perspective related to the topic of sexuality and gender. It is the authors’ hope that the integrative framework suggested in this chapter will be useful to all counselors regardless of where one stands on the particulars of theology or ideological expression. While a comprehensive theology is beyond the scope of this chapter, readers are encouraged to expand their knowledge in this critical area. The following section is a brief review of some important theological concepts.

Intention

God created gender to mirror himself—He created both male and female and blessed them to be fruitful and multiply (Gen. 1:27-28). Additionally, Genesis 2 indicates that God created woman for man because He realized man needed a “suitable helper,” signifying we weren’t intended to do life alone (Balswick & Balswick, 2008). Furthermore, the relationship is more profound than simply not being alone; we were created for intimacy because God is a relational God. So, both husband and wife leave their families and become one flesh, naked and without shame (Genesis 2:24-25). God intended for couples to connect without shame, with full intimacy and vulnerability. This is the depth of intimacy that is implied in Isaiah 43:1b (New International Version Bible [NIV], 2011): “I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” To use the phrase “called you by name” suggests that there is an intimate relationship (Walvoord & Zuck, 1985). The intimacy we have with Christ is a mirror image of the relationship described between Christ and the church (Chapman, 2003). Therefore, when we understand Christ and the church, we can understand the role of gender, sexuality, and our body. He created our sexuality to be enjoyable, without both physical and emotional pain, and as the means of procreation (Chapman, 2003; Penner & Penner, 2003). However, there is evidence through the Fall that sex does not always look this way.