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Counseling Approaches I Find Most Useful

There are so many powerful approaches that work quickly. In this chapter I shall discuss the

approaches I find most useful. This does not mean that I never use other approaches but these

are the approaches I use most often.

Ericksonian Hypnosis

Hypnosis is not a cure-all. It will not solve all the world’s problems, but it is an effective

tool to assist you and others in resolving many of the issues that you face. I find it especially

useful in assisting with problems that are unconsciously based; problems that are not conscious

choices. People do not choose to have phobias, panic attacks, anxiety, depression or chronic

pain. These are the types of issues where, I find, hypnosis works most effectively. Hypnosis

also works quickly in resolving the problem. I seldom see a person more than four sessions.

An effective therapist has as many tools in her tool chest as possible. If she can only use

one theory or one technique, she will be ineffective many times. Hypnosis is one of many tools

that I use. I highly recommend that you add this tool to your set of skills.

There are a number of phenomena that can occur when one is in trance. I shall briefly

discuss the ones that I find most useful.

According to Zeig (2001, p. 21) there are two aspects to dissociation. One aspect is being

“part of and apart from” an experience. The second aspect is the sensation of automaticity,

where an experience “just happens”. I use dissociation with clients suffering from anxiety,

depression, phobias, panic attacks and chronic pain. An example might be that I suggest to the

individual suffering from anxiety that she is sitting in a movie theater feeling relaxed and healthy

while watching a movie of the person who suffers from the anxiety. I suggest that she can notice

the differences in how the person thinks, looks, acts and feels differently than she does, as she

sits in her seat feeling calm and relaxed.

R. Reid Wilson (2001, p. 220) wrote that time distortion can be used to decrease the length

of discomfort and increase the length of comfort. I suggest to the individual examples of how

she speeds time up and slows time down. An example might be, “We have all had experiences

of being involved in an activity and thinking that only 5 minutes had passed, but were amazed

when we looked at the time to learn that 20 minutes had passed; or, we thought 30 minutes had

passed, but were amazed when we looked at the time to learn that only 7 minutes had passed.”

Lankton & Lankton (1983, p. 218) wrote that amnesia can be elicited with anecdotes and

indirect suggestions. I suggest to the individual examples of amnesia such as meeting someone

in a store and forgetting the person’s name or experiencing a physical sensation and forgetting

about it because something else has caught her attention. An example might be, “I was driving

home from work recently and developed an awful headache. I planned to take a pain reliever as

soon as I arrived at home; but, when I walked into the house, my wife met me to discuss a

dilemma she was in. About 30 minutes later, I realized that I had never taken anything for my

headache. I had become so consumed with the conversation that I had totally forgotten about my

headache.”

According to Yapko (2003, pp. 333-334) age regression is an “intensified absorption in and

utilization of memory.” It involves guiding the individual back to an earlier time to either relive

it or to remember it. I usually use age regression to take the individual to a time prior to the

onset of the discomfort. I will suggest that she remember a time when she felt happy and

healthy. I suggest that she put herself back into that experience and to experience the feelings of

that experience in the present. I then suggest that she intensify the feeling and make it twice as

strong and then to memorize it so that she can experience it anytime she needs to.

The final phenomenon, which I find most useful, is age progression. According to Yapko

(2003, p. 345) age progression is guiding the individual into the future, “where he or she may

have the opportunity to imagine and experience the consequences of current or new choices,

integrate meanings at deeper levels, rehearse new patterns of thought, feeling or behavior, and, in

general, obtain more of an overview of his or her life than a narrow focus on day-to-day living

typically affords.” I suggest that the individual go into the future six months from now and look

back at six months of successfully having achieved her goal. I suggest that she might feel a

sense of pride, knowing that she is the one who has achieved this. I also suggest that she might

feel a sense of gratitude, realizing that she has been created with incredible skills and abilities.

This gives you a brief view of hypnosis and some of the phenomena that can be used to help

individuals overcome physical or psychological pains. I hope this has whetted your appetite to

learn more and to be trained in this approach to helping people.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming

“Neuro-Linguistic Programming is the newest and most powerful technology in human

communication. The word “Neuro” indicates that NLP includes the latest knowledge of how the

human brain actually works. “Linguistic” refers to both the verbal and non-verbal elements of

communication. “Programming” refers to the recognition and control of patterns in human

thought, communication and behavior.” (Jacobson, 1994).

I have found NLP techniques to create immediate changes in people that endure over time.

There are many powerful phenomena in this approach. The phenomenon that I find most useful

involves the changing of sub-modalities to eliminate the pain of traumatic experiences. Bandler

(1985, pp. 21-26) discusses changing the sub-modalities of visual images to increase or decrease

the power of the image. The same can be done with the audio or kinesthetic senses.

Recently I worked with a lady whose teenage daughter had been killed in a car wreck. This

lady was in the car directly behind the car in which her daughter was killed and witnessed the

wreck. She could not get the image of the wreck out of her mind, even though it had been five

years since the daughter’s death. She changed the sub-modalities one at a time to learn which

ones would decrease or eliminate the power of the picture. She discovered that color, size and

location were the sub-modalities that gave the picture power. The picture was in color, life-size

and just a few inches from her face. She practiced changing it to black and white, shrinking it to

an 8X10 and moving it out into the distance. Then I asked her to see the original picture and

then to make the changes all at once. Finally, I asked her to do this five times as fast as she

could by seeing the original picture, changing the sub-modalities, erasing it and seeing a white

screen, then seeing the original picture, changing it, etc. On the fourth time of seeing the original

picture, she jerked and had a different look on her face, signifying that something significant had

occurred. The same thing happened on her fifth time. When she finished the exercise, I asked

her what had happened and she told me that on the fourth and fifth times, she could not see the

original picture. I asked her to try really hard to produce the original picture and she could not.

She cured herself of the trauma by changing the sub-modalities of the picture.

This gives you a brief view of NLP and one of the powerful phenomena in this approach. I

hope this has motivated you to learn more and to be trained in this approach to helping people.

Positive Psychology

Positive psychology complements traditional psychotherapy and focuses on values,

strengths, virtues, and talents. Seligman (2011) stated that Positive Psychology makes people

happier. Learning that you can have a flourishing future is life changing. He also wrote that

Positive Psychology is about well-being which has five elements - positive emotion,

engagement, meaning, positive relationships and accomplishment.

I find Positive Psychology to be especially useful with people who are depressed. Johnson

(2011) indicated three differences, among others, between people who are happy and people who

are depressed. These differences include the following: (1) happy people are more grateful, (2)

happy people are more optimistic, and (3) happy people are more self-confident. The following

exercises can be used to address these:

Exercise for gratitude. Choose someone still alive who did or said something that changed

your life for the better, but whom you never properly thanked. This person needs to live close

enough for you to pay a visit. Write a letter of gratitude, stating specifically what this person did

for you. Limit the letter to three hundred words. Call the person and make an appointment

without telling the person the purpose of the visit. On the visit, read the letter to the person and

then discuss the content and your feelings for each other (Seligman, 2011). I use a variation of

Seligman’s idea. I ask the person to make a list of 10 people to whom she is grateful and then

rank these from 1 to 10 in terms of accessibility. She will write the first letter to the person who

is most accessible. We continue down the list until the person is no longer depressed.

Exercise for optimism. Seligman (2011) wrote that optimists believe that the causes of

setbacks in their lives are temporary, changeable, and local. They bounce back quickly from

setbacks. I point this out to the individual and we write the words “temporary, changeable and

local” on a 3X5 card for the individual to carry with them. Every time the individual has a

setback, she refers to her card and approaches the setback as an optimist.

Exercise for self-confidence. As one discovers her strengths, she becomes more selfconfident.

Seligman (2011) discussed signature strengths and the characteristics of a signature

strength which includes: a sense of authenticity, excitement while exhibiting it, a yearning to find

new ways to use it, a sense of inevitability, invigoration, and joy while using it. I discuss this

with the individual and then ask the person to list those traits that she possesses about which

these characteristics are true. We focus on new ways that she can use these strengths.

We begin the process of these three exercises in our first session and the client is

simultaneously doing all three exercises. It is amazing how quickly the individual begins to feel

better. I have never made it past the third name on the gratitude list.

Mindfulness

Enhancement of attention is a defining characteristic of mindfulness. The therapist asks the

person to focus on his or her body and to pay attention to the physical manifestations. The client

is not trying to change the physical symptoms but just to pay attention to them and notice

feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations. The therapist instructs the client that if her mind

wanders, to gently nudge it back to the manifestations. Rather than fighting the manifestations,

she is cooperating with them and realizing that by cooperating with them, they change. This

shows the individual that the feelings and thoughts are temporary rather than permanent and have

no lasting power. Young (2008) pointed out the importance of assisting the client to recognize

the impermanence of negative experiences.

Bien (2006) discussed a mindfulness technique called “changing the peg”. He pointed out

that one way to change the peg is to practice walking meditation outdoors. As one walks, she

notices the positive things around her in nature. As one walks, she can time her breath with her

steps, being aware of each step. When thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations arise, they are

noticed but there is no attempt to alter them. After noticing them, the individual returns to the

beauty around her and/or the act of walking and breathing.

I have used Mindfulness mainly with anxiety and chronic pain. I begin the process by

asking the individual to focus on her breathing, noticing the air as she breathes in and out. Then

I move to her paying attention to external sensations such as the weight of her hands in her lap,

the pressure of her back on the chair, etc. From this I move to internal sensations such as

noticing a sense of warmth or coolness in her body or any sensations such as tingling, burning, or

throbbing. From this, I ask her to notice the place where the pain (or anxiety) is physically

located. I suggest that she notice the sensation of the pain, the intensity, the shape of the pain

and even the color. I suggest that she is not trying to change it or eliminate it but just noticing it.

I ask her to tell me when a significant change takes place such as the pain moves, or the intensity

level changes, or the shape of the pain changes or the sensation changes (from ache to tingle, for

example) or the color changes. Changes begin to occur in a rather brief period of time and soon

the pain is significantly reduced if not totally gone. The beauty of this is that if the pain returns,

the person now knows what to do to treat it. Change occurs by observing the pain, not by trying

to change it.

Energy Psychology (Emotional Freedom Technique)

Emotional Freedom Technique, a form of Energy Psychology, is a form of psychological

acupressure using the tapping of energy meridians to clear emotional blockages. Rate your

discomfort on a scale of one to ten with ten being “unbearable” and one being “not at all.” Tap

the sides of your hands, under your eyes, on your sides under your armpits, and over your heart,

seven to ten times each. As you tap think the word that best describes your discomfort (for

example, “anxiety”). Rate your discomfort again to determine if it is improved. Repeat the

exercise if needed. If after the second time, your discomfort is not reduced to an acceptable level,

do the following. Close your eyes; open your eyes and look down and to the right, then down and

to the left. Rotate your eyes and then rotate them in the opposite direction. Hum for two seconds,

count to ten and then hum again. Then go through the tapping routine again. Rate your anxiety

to determine if it is improved (Seferlis, 2009). Craig (2008) and Callahan (2001) give more

elaborate and specific instructions for tapping to eliminate specific discomforts and discuss the

science behind tapping.

I use the Emotional Freedom Technique primarily for anxiety. I have found that it is

effective a high percentage of the time. The beauty of this approach is that the person can learn

this routine and use it on her own without the assistance of the therapist.

In closing this chapter, I want to show you how I use these in conjunction with each other.

Let’s suppose that an individual comes to see me who suffers from anxiety. I want to teach her

three exercises she can use to lower or eliminate the anxiety. I might teach her the Emotional

Freedom technique, the Mindfulness exercise and how to change the sub-modalities of the

picture or sound that is causing the anxiety. We test these to be certain that they are effective.

When the person leaves, she has three means of controlling her anxiety. She probably will not

need to see me again.