Ch-12 reflection
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Chapter 12
Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood
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Chapter Outline
• Stability and change from childhood to adulthood
• Love and close relationships
• Adult lifestyles
• Challenges in marriage, parenting, and divorce
• Gender communication styles, relationships, and classification
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Stability and Change From Childhood to Adulthood
Attachment
• Secure attachment style: have positive view of relationships and find it easy to get close to others
• Avoidant attachment style: hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships
• Anxious attachment style: demand closeness, less trusting, more emotional, jealous, possessive
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Love and Close Relationships 1
The faces of love
• Intimacy
• Self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts
• Erikson: intimacy versus isolation
• Intimacy is finding oneself while losing oneself in another person.
• Failure to achieve intimacy results in social isolation.
• Intimacy and independence
• Balance between intimacy and commitment, and independence and freedom
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Love and Close Relationships 2
Friendship
• Friendship plays important lifespan development role
• Romantic love: passionate love, or eros
• Strong components of sexuality and infatuation.
Affectionate love: companionate love
• Desires to have the other person near
• Based on a deep and caring affection
Consummate love: strongest form of love
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Love and Close Relationships 3
Robert J. Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory of Love
• Three dimensions of love: passion, intimacy, and commitment
• Consummate love: strongest, fullest form of love with passion, intimacy, and commitment
• Infatuation: passion, no intimacy and commitment
• Affectionate love: combination of intimacy and commitment, no passion
• Fatuous love: passion and commitment without intimacy
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Love and Close Relationships 4
Cross-Cultural Variations in Romantic Relationships
• China and Korea: intimacy is more diffused with more emphasis on connections outside of romantic relationships
• Japan: Dropping marriage rate
• France and Brazil: most passionate, most romantic interest
• France has the most extramarital affairs.
• Qatar: casual dating is forbidden and public displays of affection can be punished with incarceration
• Young adults using social media/internet to arrange private co-ed get- togethers at hotels.
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Sternberg’s Triangle of Love
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Adult Lifestyles 1
• Single adults
• Cohabiting adults
• Married adults
• Divorced adults
• Remarried adults
• Gay and lesbian adults
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Adult Lifestyles 2
Single adults
• Stereotypes associated with being single range from
• Swinging single to the desperately lonely, suicidal single
• Millenials
• Tend to find dates online more
• Pattern of “fast sex, slow love”
• Common problems
• Forming intimate relationships with other adults
• Confronting loneliness
• Finding a place in a society that is marriage-oriented
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Adult Lifestyles 3
Advantages
• Having time to make decisions about one’s life course
• Time to develop personal resources to meet goals
• Freedom to make autonomous decisions
• Pursue one’s own schedule and interests
• Opportunities to explore new places and try out new things
• Privacy
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Adult Lifestyles 4
Cohabiting adults
• Living together in a sexual relationship without being married
• Reasons for cohabiting
• Spend time together
• Share expenses
• Evaluate compatibility
• Lower marital satisfaction and increased likelihood of divorce
• Not a unilateral statistic
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Adult Lifestyles 5
Married adults
• Marital trends
• Marriage rates in the United States have declined in recent years.
• In 2014, 20% of U.S. adults never married.
• In 2016, the U.S. average age for a first marriage climbed to 29.5 for men and 27.4 for women.
• Marriage in adolescence is more likely to end in divorce.
• Average duration of a marriage in the U.S. is currently just over nine years.
• Emerging adults are optimistic about marriage and see it as an impetus to create a stable life for a successful marriage.
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Adult Lifestyles 6
Cross-cultural comparisons
• Aspects of marriage vary across cultures.
• Domesticity is valued in some cultures but not others.
• Religion plays an important role in many cultures.
Premarital education
• Occurs in a group
• Focuses on relationship advice
• Ranged from several hours to 20 hours
• With a median of 8 hours
• Lower risk of subsequent marital distress and divorce
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Adult Lifestyles 7
Benefits of a good marriage
• Happily married people
• Live longer, healthier lives
• Feel less physical and emotional stress
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Adult Lifestyles 8
Divorced adults
• Factors
• Adultery
• Growing apart
• Domestic violence
• Youthful marriage
• Low educational level
• Low income level
• Not having a religious affiliation
• Having divorced parents
• Having a baby before marriage
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Adult Lifestyles 9
Remarried adults
• Men are more likely to remarry.
• Remarriage occurs sooner for partners who initiate a divorce.
• More unstable than first marriages
• Higher rates of depression but improved financial status
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Adult Lifestyles 10
Gay and lesbian adults
• Similar to heterosexual relationships in satisfaction and conflict
• Contrary to common misconceptions, research suggests
• Masculine/feminine roles are relatively uncommon.
• Only a small segment of the gay male population has a large number of sexual partners,
• A smaller segment of the lesbian population has a large number of sexual partners.
• Generally, gays and lesbians prefer long-term, committed relationships.
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Percentage of Married Persons Age 18 and Older with “Very Happy” Marriages
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Marriage and the Family 1
• Making marriage work
• Becoming a parent
• Dealing with divorce
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Marriage and the Family 2
Making marriage work
• Gottman’s seven practices of a working marriage
• Establishing love maps
• Nurturing fondness and admiration
• Turning toward each other instead of away
• Letting your partner influence you
• Solving solvable conflicts
• Overcoming gridlock
• Creating shared meaning
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Marriage and the Family 3
Remarried couples
• Have realistic expectations.
• Develop new positive relationships within the family
• Counter set relationship patterns or “ghosts”
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Marriage and the Family 4
Becoming a parent
• Parenting myths and reality
• Myths
• The birth of a child will save a failing marriage.
• The child will think, feel, and behave like the parents did in their childhoods.
• Having a child gives the parents a second chance at achievement.
• Parenting is an instinct and requires no training.
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Marriage and the Family 5
Trends in childbearing
• Average age of first time mother is 27 years old.
• In 2016, for the first time, more U.S. women were giving birth in their 30s than in their 20s.
• By giving birth to fewer children and reducing the demands of child care, women free a significant portion of their life spans for other endeavors.
• Men are apt to invest a greater amount of time in fathering.
• Parental care is often supplemented by institutional care.
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Marriage and the Family 6
Dealing with divorce
• Divorced adults
• Difficulty in trusting someone else in a romantic relationship
• Six pathways in exiting divorce
• The enhancers
• The good-enoughs
• The seekers
• The libertines
• The competent loners
• The defeated
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The Divorce Rate in Relation to Number of Years Married
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Gender Communication, Relationships, and Classification 1
• Gender Communication
• Gender Relationships
• Gender Classification
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Gender Communication, Relationships, and Classification 2
Gender and Communication
• Women prefer rapport talk.
• Men prefer report talk.
Gender and Relationships
• Women highly value relationships and nurturing connections.
• Men are less relationship- oriented than women.
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Gender Communication, Relationships, and Classification 3
Men’s Development
• Health
• Male-female relationships
• Male-male relationships
Reconstructing masculinity
• Becoming more emotionally intelligent
• Reexamine beliefs about manhood
• Valuable aspects of the male role
• Destructive male role aspects
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Gender Communication, Relationships, And Classification 4
Gender’s Role in Friendships
• Women tend to have closer, more supportive friendships.
• Men tend to have more competitive friendships.
• Female-male friendships
• Learn about common feelings and interests and shared characteristics about each other and each other’s genders
• Problems may arise in cross-gender friendships if one friend wants romance and the other does not.
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Gender Communication, Relationships, and Classification 5
Masculinity and femininity
• Individuals seen on a continuum with masculine and feminine traits
Transgender
• Individuals who adopt a gender identity that differs from the one assigned to them at birth
• Straight, gay, lesbian, or bisexual
• Some prefer gender reassignment
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