i need someon do my homwork

Chapter 10 Setting Goals and Giving Homework In chapter 2, I briefly discuss setting goals. This is a vital part of Brief Therapy. In this first case I show how setting a positive goal is more powerful than setting a negative goal. In the second case I show the importance of giving homework that you know the client can and will do. You never want to set the client up for failure but always for success. It is easier to start doing a new behavior than it is to break a habit of an old behavior. It is easier to gain something than it is to give up something. Many clients will want to state a goal in terms of what they don’t want to do or what they want to stop doing. Help them state what they want to do or gain. Presbury, Echterling & McKee (2008, p. 76) stated it this way: “The first, and most fundamental, principle is to encourage your clients to state their goals in the positive, describing what they will be doing or thinking rather than what they will not. Never accept a contract to work toward the absence of something.” The following story illustrates how a positive goal can be far more powerful than a negative goal. Finding Willpower to Lose Weight Imogene was overweight and came to me because she believed that she did not have the willpower to lose the excess weight. She had tried many times, and each time she had failed. She wanted to lose 105 pounds. Imogene was the Vice-President of a mid-size trucking company. Married with two teenage children, she also indicated that she was active in her church and in community activities. I asked Imogene how she was able to be a company executive, a good wife and mother, and a good citizen and church member all at the same time. She said that she accomplished all of this by being an effective time manager, being self- disciplined and sometimes sacrificing what she wanted in order to do what was necessary. I pointed out that she had just described willpower. If you were Imogene’s therapist, what would you suggest that her goal be, and how would you help her achieve this goal? Write your thoughts before reading further. We agreed that she would approach this task as she did the other activities in her life. She was able to do all that she did because she approached her responsibilities from the thought of what she gained from them, not what she had to give up to do them. Based on this logic, she agreed to think in terms of gaining health rather than losing weight. In her other tasks, she also

focused on one responsibility at a time and did not overwhelm herself with facing everything at once; she accepted that she must forget about losing 105 pounds and to focus on becoming healthier during the present week. In her other tasks, she focused on the future benefits of the unpleasant things she had to do, so she agreed to focus on how good she would feel after she exercised rather than focusing on the discomfort of the exercise. She was convinced that she could be successful by focusing on these three principles: 1) gaining health, 2) doing what she needs to do today to be healthy and 3) focusing on future benefits rather than present cost. She also acknowledged that the will power she needed already existed. We agreed that we would meet once a month to check on how she was doing. Month after month she came with a good report (which doesn’t mean that she never struggled). She was doing well and finding that it was much easier than she had anticipated. About a year and a half after she had begun this project, she came in and reported that she was happy and did not feel the need to see me anymore. On another note, her vital statistics had improved significantly. Her blood pressure was normal, meaning that she no longer needed medication for high blood pressure and her cholesterol had lowered from over 200 to 160. Reporting that she had more energy and felt great, along with losing 85 pounds, she told me that she had come to me to lose weight but that I had helped her alter her goal from losing weight to gaining health. She had gained health and, by gaining health, she had lost weight. Now she would work to maintain good health. This experience shows that many times people already have the skills they need to accomplish their goals. I did not teach Imogene anything new but simply helped her recognize what she already had. Already possessing all the internal resources she needed to be successful, she simply needed to recognize them and utilize them. This experience also shows that focusing on what must be given up to achieve a goal makes the task much more unpleasant than if you focus on what you are gaining by working toward the goal. In the following case it is not what we did in therapy but what the client did as homework that produced her success. Homework can be a powerful dynamic that produces amazing results when it is well planned and designed in a way that the client is 99% likely to be successful. Be certain that the homework is not too difficult or complicated. Set the client up for success by making the homework doable and being certain that the client has the skills and desire to complete the assignment successfully. Failure on the part of the client will produce discouragement whereas success will produce confidence. Presbury, Echterling and McKee (2002, p. 209) explain, “Since small perturbations can produce large changes in the system, you really don’t have to come up with grandiose strategies for change. Most of the time, something simple will do. Furthermore, clients would rather try something simple that seems easy than to try to implement a heroic plan.” The following is an example of how a very small, simple step led to much larger ones. A Small Step Leads to Larger Ones Willa was told by her doctor that she must lose 150 pounds or die a premature death. Having never been an active person, she spent her days sitting on the sofa watching television, and she ate mostly sandwiches and snack foods. She had little confidence that she could change her lifestyle to any great degree. As we discussed exercise, she stated that she had purchased a good pair of walking shoes several months earlier but had never used them. Willa had attempted

every diet on the market, all with no success. She had tried time and time again to exercise

regularly, but had always failed to maintain it.

If you were working with Willa, what would you recommend for her homework after

the first session? Write your recommendations.

I suggested that she put on her walking clothes each day at 2:00, but I stated that under no

circumstances should she go out of her house and walk. I emphasized how important it was for

her to follow my orders exactly. She agreed that she could put on her walking clothes at 2:00

each day and that she definitely would not walk.

The next week when she came for her session, I asked how she had done over the past week.

A sheepish grin came over her face, and she said that she had put on her walking clothes each

day at 2:00. She said on the third day, she decided that since she had gone to the trouble to put

on her walking clothes, she might as well go for a walk. She walked for ten minutes. The fourth

day she walked for 15 minutes; by the end of the week, she walked for 20 minutes.

Pleased with herself, she found that she actually enjoyed walking. Over the course of the

next several weeks, she increased her walking time to 30 minutes a day. Though we never

discussed changing her diet, as she became more enthused about her walking, she became

interested in eating healthier. She started drinking water instead of colas and including fruits and

vegetables in her diet. About three months into her program, she came in and announced that

she had lost a total of 20 pounds and was amazed at how easy it had been, considering she had

made no drastic changes in her life and was not on a diet.

Willa’s story demonstrates how important it is to give the client homework that the client

will complete successfully. Because she had failed so many times in following diets and

exercising consistently, Willa had no confidence in herself. By giving her an assignment that she

could complete, and then emphasizing that she must follow the assignment exactly, she was

relieved of any pressure. Going for a walk then became a choice she could make without any

obligations. In short, my assignment made it easier for her to make a good choice.

I never discussed food with her because I presumed that if we tried to set any type of diet,

based on her past history, she would fail. I hoped and believed that, once she developed a

pattern of walking, her self-confidence would improve and she would change her eating habits

on her own. This is exactly what happened because—just as with the walking—there was no

pressure on her.

I also never mentioned weighing or losing weight. I don’t know how often she had weighed

prior to the day she announced that she had lost 20 pounds. If I had focused on her losing

weight, I imagine she would have failed. She had tried losing weight many times before and

always failed. Losing weight has a negative connotation. Losing anything has a negative

connotation. It is much easier to work toward a goal of gaining something than it is to try to lose

something.

Willa gained enjoyment through her walking, and she gained esteem and confidence as she

proved to herself that she was capable of being consistent. She succeeded because I gave her the

freedom to move at her own pace and to make the changes as she was ready to make them.

Exercise: Think of a goal that you have failed to achieve in the past. Think of a first step

you can take toward the goal, one you know you can accomplish. Once this step is completed,

select a second step that you know you can accomplish. Get the picture? Many times we make

achieving goals far more difficult than is required. Think of a client who failed to complete the

homework assignment that you gave. How could you have simplified the assignment so that the

client would have been successful? Also, think of something you want to quit doing. What

would you gain by stopping this behavior? State your goal in terms of what you want to gain

rather than in terms of what you want to stop. Begin to help your clients state their goals in

terms of what they want to gain.