Week 5 assignment

Communication, in its various forms, channels, and contexts, is a fundamental aspect of bei ng human. In fact, as newborns, our first cry is a message to the world that we have arrived, and as infants, we are often consoled by a gentle touch or the soothing voice of our caregiv ers. We soon learn to express our thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires through behavior a nd language, to listen and respond to others when they communicate with us, and to use co mmunication to build, maintain, and even end relationships.

The word communication can be traced back to the Latin word communicare, which means “t o join or unite,” “to connect,” “to participate in,” or “to share with all.” Other words that eme rge from this root word include common, commune, communion, and community. Reflecting it s roots, this text defines communication as a process where two or more individuals strive t o create shared meaning using verbal and nonverbal messages in a variety of contexts. This definition highlights five primary characteristics of communication:

• Two or more people are involved. • It is a process. • There is an attempt to create shared meaning. • Both verbal and nonverbal messages influence interactions. • It occurs in a variety of contexts.

We discuss the intricacies of each element next.

1. Communication Involves Two or More People

Communication requires a minimum of two individuals. In other words, we cannot commu nicate unless there is at least one other person to interact with. When two individuals com municate, be it face-to-face, by text, via social media platforms such as Twitter, or by video- calling services such as FaceTime, they are engaging in interpersonal communication. Certain ly, communication occurs between more than two individuals, and mediated channels, such as television and social media, can even allow us to communicate with millions of people. U se of a mediated communication channel simply means that some form of information tech nology is employed to help a message travel from the sender, the person who initiates the i nteraction, to the receiver(s). Take one of Kim’s text messages to Pat about their dinner, for example: A smartphone is needed to propel what she is communicating to him. When Kim and Pat are at home together, they communicate face-to- face, and their communication is no longer mediated. Finally, talking to ourselves or intern ally exploring who we are as individuals is called intrapersonal communication. We evaluate intrapersonal communication in more detail in Chapter 2.

2. Communication Is a Process

In 1960, communication theorist David Berlo described communication as a constantly evo lving interaction or activity that changes each of us and changes our relationships over time . The word “process” might bring to mind an action that has some purpose or is directed to some end— an action that is dynamic, ongoing, and ever changing. When you meet someone for the first time, for example, you approach each other as strangers. The communication that occurs d

uring this first meeting influences or shapes your next meeting. If the first meeting was a po sitive experience, you will generally expect the second interaction to be positive as well. On the other hand, if the first meeting did not go well, you may approach the second meeting w ith some trepidation because you expect to have a similar experience.

Communication is a continuous and complex process affected by past events, influenced by how the current interaction unfolds, and impacting interactions to come as well as the futur e of the relationship. Because communication is ongoing, we continually work to build, mai ntain, alter, and sometimes even terminate relationships. Over time, we change and others change, and thus our communication within our relationships changes.

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A primary goal of communication is to share meaning and connect with others.

3. Communication Attempts to Create Shared Meaning

The purpose of human communication is to help people generate and share their thoughts, feelings, experiences, beliefs, opinions, or anything they can think to express. People comm unicate in the hope that such ideas have meaning for others too and that they will understa nd.

As an example of how people can share meaning through words, the symbols of language, p icture the following event:

A black bear cub, apparently abandoned by its mother, wandered into a rural neighborhoo d and lived in the trees there for more than five days. Because the animal showed no signs o f leaving, authorities were called to capture the bear and remove it from the property. They shot the cub with a tranquilizer gun, but the cub scurried up a large tree and fell asleep. Th e tree was too tall for any ladder to reach and too wide to encircle with a safety harness, a r equirement if an authority were to climb, but the cub was in danger of falling to an almost c ertain death at any moment. For approximately one hour, neighbors and wildlife officials a nxiously waited for a resolution. Then the cub awakened and began to move. The small bra nch on which the cub rested broke, and the bear suddenly dropped a few feet to a second b ranch. The cub dangled high above the ground, holding onto the branch with its front paws. Slowly it lost its grip and dropped toward the ground, bouncing off two or three tree branc hes on the way down. As it fell, wildlife officers ran toward the tree, gripping a tarp tightly, and caught the cub safely using the open canvas.

Although you were not present to witness this event, you can easily visualize it because of a shared language and shared use of symbols. When we talk with other people about an expe rience, however, the communication is only an abstraction of that experience. For example, a reporter who witnessed this event might write a story about the cub, sharing her percepti on of the situation as it unfolded. She might report as many facts as possible, but she also m ight make it sound like a more dramatic event than it was to keep readers interested.

That story, however, is just one person’s representation, which is a simplified version of the entire occurrence. Each witness noticed or focused on different things during the experien ce. For example, the wildlife official standing directly under the tree focused her attention o n where to best place the tarp to catch the cub. Meanwhile, a neighbor, positioned at a great er distance from the tree, might instead be better able to view the whole scene, including th e potential damage to the tree, nearby structures, or cars if the cub did happen to fall. Each i ndividual’s story would be slightly different even though there would also be a great deal of shared meaning about specific elements of the event. We will return to the importance of t hese different meanings when we discuss culture and perceptions later in this text.

One of the primary goals of human communication is to share meaning and connect with ot hers, but this is not always easy. We can look up a word in a dictionary, but the definition d oes not necessarily account for the word’s unique meaning for the person who uses it. Mea ning is not in the message itself; meaning is in the communicator, with the ultimate goal bei ng that it will be shared between those in the interaction. We each respond to messages bas ed on personal experiences, cultures, and interpretations. But this can make communicatio n difficult because verbal and nonverbal messages mean something slightly different to eac h of us. It is generally easier to create shared meaning when we have an established relatio nship with someone because that person has shared experiences with us. Communication i s thus considered successful when meaning is generally shared with others and all parties c ome to a mutual understanding about the content of the messages exchanged.

4. Communication Is Verbal and Nonverbal

Messages are the actual pieces of information exchanged between individuals in an interact ion, and these messages take two broad forms: verbal and nonverbal. Verbal communicatio n is, put simply, the use of language or words (both written and spoken) to communicate. L anguage provides us with the unique ability to create, use, and exchange common words or symbols that represent objects and events. Symbols are words, pictures, sounds, marks, or objects used to represent particular ideas, objects, or qualities. We can also use written and spoken language to describe past, present, and future events and to wish, dream, and imagi ne objects that do not exist or are not immediately present (Burgoon, Buller, & Woodall, 19 96). Nonverbal communication includes visual and vocal means, other than language, used to co mmunicate. There are eight distinct forms of nonverbal communication (Burgoon, Guerrer o, & Manusov, 2011):

• physical appearance and attractiveness • body movement, including posture, facial expressions, and eye contact (kinesics) • physical contact with another through touch (haptics) • personal space and distance from one another (proxemics) • voice and the way something is said, including tone, pitch, rate, height, and even silence (vo

calics) • time and the way it is used (chronemics) • scents or odors (olfactics) • use or display of objects used to create and shape messages (artifactics)

Although verbal and nonverbal communication are often studied separately, they are intert wined and either complement or contradict one another. Their interplay can change the nat ure and interpretation of the interaction.

Think back to the example of Kim and Pat’s communication at the beginning of the chapter. They were clearly using verbal communication via language in their e- mails and texts, but they also engaged in nonverbal communication, including the tones an d volumes of their voices, use of eye contact, gestures, personal distance, and touch. At time s, the verbal and nonverbal messages they were using may have communicated the same th ing. For example, Kim’s voice might have sounded angry and been at a higher pitch than no rmal, and she might have rolled her eyes when she texted, “Fine, whatever. I’m almost hom e myself. I’ll talk to you then. Bye.” Maybe Pat’s messages offered different or conflicting me anings if he had smiled and spoken in a calm tone of voice when he said, “You are making a big deal out of nothing.” Even Pat’s silence when he was driving home was perceived by Ki m as a nonverbal message of being ignored.

Communication via e- mail, text message, and social media can involve different forms of nonverbal communicati on such as using capital letters to emphasize a point, exclamation marks to convey excitem ent, and photos to depict who we are online. Additionally, gifs (graphical interchange form at), soundless video clips that loop autonomously, and emojis, digital icons that represent e

motions, images, or ideas, can be used to replace physical facial expressions and other thing s we wish to communicate and help people interpret the meaning of a particular statement. We will return to the importance of verbal and nonverbal messages in face-to- face and mediated contexts in Chapter 4.

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Context, such as the setting in which communication takes place, influences how people co mmunicate. Consider how the conversation between these two people might differ if they were in an office instead of at a music festival.

5. Communication Occurs in a Variety of Contexts

The context, or the situation or setting in which communication takes place, affects what w e expect to hear and see, the meaning of what is said, and whether and how we communicat e. When we speak of context, we must consider that people communicate differently in diff erent settings. For example, you would not communicate and behave at a party the same w ay you would at work. You may talk and laugh loudly at a party, yell to someone from acros s the room, and likely dress casually, but you would probably not exhibit these same behavi ors in the workplace. Any number of contextual cues can influence communication. For example, the time and pla ce of the interaction are important considerations. Does the interaction occur on a weekend night or during a weekday? Does the interaction take place face-to- face or via a mediated technology such as Skype? In addition, the cultures of each communi cator, as well as the culture in which the interaction is taking place, are often consciously an d subconsciously taken into account. Culture, which we will discuss in more depth in Chapt er 3, involves the traditions, beliefs, and standards for behaviors that are passed down from one generation to the next.

Our psychological state and who we are as people also affects our communication. Our self- concept, or our idea of who we are that is created by what we think about ourselves and ho w others respond to us, may impact how we perceive situations. For example, you might ha ve a better time at a party right after receiving an excellent grade in a course because you fe el better about yourself than you might after receiving a poor grade. In addition, the social s ituation, the participants in the interaction, and their relational history influence communic ation. As you have learned, communication occurs in a particular context, which includes the time , place, and people involved in the interaction. All of these contextual aspects fit into the lar ger context of culture. Overall, it is important to recognize that context often significantly s hapes communication.

1.2 Two Models of Communication

Communication as an academic discipline has both a long and a short history. Broadly, the s tudy of communication is rooted in the traditions of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and ancient G reek philosophy. Specifically, the art of persuasion, known as rhetoric, promoted citizen par ticipation in democracy during this time. Rhetoric remains an important area in communic ation today. In contrast, the modern study of communication, and the emergence of interpe rsonal communication in particular, began in the 20th century. In the first four decades of t hat century, speech and oratory aspects of communication were studied at American unive rsities in different social science and humanities departments such as anthropology, Englis h, political science, and sociology. However, from 1940 to the mid- 1960s, the study of communication started to evolve into a distinct discipline. It was also in the 1960s that the field of interpersonal communication “came into its own as an identifiable academic discipline” (Bryant & Pribanic- Smith, 2010, p. 26). The early focus was on persuasion, influence, and group communicatio n, but there was also a growing interest during the 1970s in how cognition was related to i nterpersonal interaction. The study of interpersonal communication continued to advance between the 1970s and 1980s, with substantial growth in university courses and the found ing of professional associations and journals (Bryant & Pribanic- Smith, 2010). The field of interpersonal communication continues to grow and evolve with the ever- changing nature of social interactions thanks to the popularity of social media and technolo gical conduits that facilitate interpersonal communication, such as texting and video chatti ng.

Since the 1940s, when the study of communication split from other academic disciplines, co mmunication scholars proposed their own theories and models to explain communication i nteractions. Theories are claims and beliefs researchers develop and then test in controlled studies or in real- world situations. When communication scholars create and test theories, they provide infor mation about the communication process that is based on research and evidence. Such prac tices also help advance communication as an academic discipline. Researchers also create models to illustrate communication concepts and theories. Models are simple representatio ns, in an ideal form, of a process or an object. Although models provide a simplified view of

something that is typically more complex, they are useful because they clarify the nature of a phenomenon or a process. A model also highlights the elements a scholar believes are par ticularly important and allows us to examine how an element is related to other parts of the model. Theories and models are important tools to illustrate the researcher’s systematic th inking about a topic.

1.3 What Is Interpersonal Communication?

This text focuses on interpersonal communication: the building block for all other types of c ommunication. This communication involves the smallest number of communicators— two, also known as a dyad. It can be unplanned, such as when people unexpectedly meet, ex change greetings, and have an impromptu conversation. It can also be planned, such as whe n two people arrange to sit down for coffee at a certain time and place to talk about a probl em. Interpersonal communication can take place in an informal setting— a home, a yard, or a supermarket, for instance. Interpersonal communication can also occur in a formal setting, such as an employer’s office or a classroom. Interpersonal communicati on can even take place via mediated channels like smartphones, computers, or social media . Aspects of a typical interaction can be both planned and unplanned, both formal and inform al. For example, a doctor– patient encounter would likely be considered a primarily formal and planned interaction. H owever, this interaction also can include informal greetings and chitchat when the doctor fi rst enters the examination room. If the patient provides information about his symptoms d uring the exam that the doctor did not anticipate, unplanned communication will occur. If t he patient follows up later with the doctor via e-mail, the interaction will span both face-to- face and mediated channels. As this example illustrates, the study of interpersonal commun ication is important because such interactions are complex, multilayered, and can reveal a l ot about the communication process.

Goals of Interpersonal Communication

As social animals, humans want and need connections with other people. We communicate to accomplish any number of mutual goals and to relate to one another. Specifically, interpe rsonal communication is a social process, and we usually communicate for one of four prim ary goals:

1. to meet human needs 2. to accomplish an objective via an interaction (an instrumental goal) 3. to present ourselves to others in a specific way (a self-presentation goal) 4. to build and maintain relationships with others (a relationship goal)

Meeting Human Needs

One of the most basic reasons people interact with others is to satisfy human needs. In 194 3, psychologist Abraham Maslow developed a theory of human motivation, proposing that all humans have an essential nature and a set of basic human needs that motivate us to see k psychological health and full humanness, or self-

actualization (Maslow, 1968). The hierarchy of human needs that Maslow identified is usua lly represented as a pyramid. As the arrow in Figure 1.2 indicates, Maslow theorized that h uman needs emerge from the bottom of the pyramid and ascend thereon. Lower- level needs must be satisfied first, and higher- level needs only arise once basic needs are realized. Basic physiological needs— the necessities for life such as food, water, and shelter— are the strongest needs. Maslow believed the first reason to communicate is for survival. Co mmunication enables us to call attention to ourselves, to warn others of danger, and to exc hange critical information to meet these physiological needs. Then we can turn our attentio n to the need for safety and security. We may have enough food to eat today, but we also ne ed to feel secure that we will have food, water, and shelter tomorrow and the day after as w ell. Once these safety needs are met, we can then address social needs such as the need to b elong. Friendship, acceptance by others, and the ability to both give and receive love are po werful needs for all humans, and they drive much of our interpersonal communication. Afte r we satisfy these needs, we are then motivated to fulfill esteem needs, such as the need for recognition, the pride of accomplishment, and the satisfaction of self-respect. Finally, self- actualization is at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy. A self- actualized person is able to recognize and pursue dreams, desires, and goals and to strive t o reach her full potential as an individual. This drive for self- actualization is only activated, however, when lower-level needs are met

1.4 How This Book Will Help You Communicate More Competently

The field of interpersonal communication encompasses a large body of information. The pri mary goals of this text are to increase your awareness of the principles of effective interper sonal communication and to enable you to appropriately and effectively apply these princip les in your everyday interactions. Remember that communication is a process, which mean s that your goals might change over the course of an interaction or that a new goal might be come more important. Interpersonal communication is a lifelong study that requires ongoi ng practice for everyone. The notion of being both appropriate and effective in your interac tions with others is called communication competence, and we will return to this term thro ughout the text to illustrate its utility in a variety of communication situations. Competent sometimes has a connotation of “good enough” or “passable.” However, as it rela tes to interpersonal communication, competence is what we think of when we envision the q ualities of a skilled communicator (Spitzberg, 2000; Spitzberg & Cupach, 2011). Communic ation researchers Brian Spitzberg and William Cupach introduced the concept of communic ation competence nearly 35 years ago, and their definition that includes the essential aspec ts of communication competence is our focus here. Though Spitzberg and Cupach (2011) be lieve that being interpersonally skilled is essential for developing interpersonal relationshi ps, they also estimate that 7% to 25% of adults are not interpersonally competent. Yet, with some guidance, such as what is offered in this text, communication competence is an impor tant interpersonal skill that many individuals can improve. Effectiveness and appropriateness are both essential parts of communication competence — we need to be both effective and appropriate to be communicatively competent. However, t hese two parts can conflict with one another, and learning to successfully balance them can be a challenge. The following sections elaborate on both aspects that define communication

competence, describe three factors that can improve your communication competence, an d introduce a test that you can complete to determine your current level of communication competence.

Communication Effectiveness

The first aspect of being a competent communicator is being effective. Being an effective co mmunicator means, quite simply, achieving your goals. Effectiveness refers to how well you are able to get what you want from an interaction. This can be as simple as achieving share d meaning with another person when the message you encode is decoded in a similar mann er. Effectiveness can also involve specific goals, or intentions, that you bring to and take par t in during an interaction. For example, you might make an appointment with your boss to ask for a raise, and, in this case, you would not classify the communication as effective simp ly because you and your boss both understand what the meeting is about. Instead, you wou ld feel that the interaction is effective only if your boss increases your salary. Though being an effective communicator seems simple, it becomes more complicated when you acknowledge that there are two communicators with separate but interdependent co mmunication goals. In other words, is it possible for both individuals to be effective commu nicators and to achieve multiple outcomes they both seek? The answer to this question dep ends on a number of factors. Consider again the meeting you scheduled with your boss. If t he communicators’ goals conflict— you seek a raise but your boss’s goal is to not agree to one— then it is difficult to achieve mutual communication effectiveness. However, if you and your boss compromise, each giving up something to reach an agreement that works for both of you, then you and your boss will likely leave the interaction feeling as if you at least somew hat accomplished your goals. However, if both communicators have similar goals— you and your boss both want you to get a raise— it is much easier for everyone to feel as if they are effective. Further, it is possible to still fee l you are effective even if you do not achieve all of your initial goals. As we noted earlier in t his chapter, communication is a process, so your goals are likely to shift during an interacti on. Thus, if your boss responds to your request for a raise by telling you that the company i s in trouble and that they are struggling just to keep you on as an employee, your goal will li kely switch from seeking more money to making a strong case to keep your job.

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Social norms can help you determine what is appropriate in a specific communication inter action. In American culture, for example, shaking hands with a new acquaintance is a custo mary behavior in professional contexts.

Communication Appropriateness

Communication competence is also inherently defined by appropriateness, or the considera tion of the rules, norms, and expectations of others in an interaction. For example, commun icators are appropriate when they learn and follow rules— which are directions indicating the obligated, preferred, and prohibited behaviors in certai n contexts and situations— during an interaction (Shimanoff, 1980). These rules take into account the broader context of the interaction, and the context of the interaction assists in determining which appropria teness standards are to be met (Spitzberg & Cupach, 2011). Some rules are established by a society or culture in the form of social norms. For example, in U.S. culture, it is a customary social norm to shake hands when you first meet someone i n a professional setting. Rules or norms can also be unique to a relationship; for instance, o ne might follow the rules of monogamy when in an exclusive relationship with a romantic p artner. Some rules can even be specific to an individual. For example, a professor might ask students to refrain from using laptops or tablets during class. Such rules and expectations a re often implicit, meaning that they are not directly and clearly stated, yet we are aware of t

hem. In fact, we are often most mindful and conscious of rules and expectations when they are broken.

As noted above, sometimes it is difficult to balance effectiveness and appropriateness durin g an interaction, but both are necessary elements of communication competence. The abilit y to be both effective and appropriate takes practice. You might get what you want if you ar e effective but not appropriate, yet doing so will likely upset, hurt, or damage your relations hip with the other person. Conversely, if you follow the rules and act the way you are expec ted to—if you are appropriate but not effective— you might not get what you want. However, communicators who make an effort to get alon g and treat others with respect are more likely to achieve their goals.

Factors That Facilitate Communication Competence

How can we become competent communicators? According to Spitzberg and Cupach’s (198 4) model of communication competence, which goes beyond their definition to help us incre ase our competence, there are three things that can assist us in being more competent: (1) knowledge, (2) motivation, and (3) skill. Knowledge is the necessary awareness of which behaviors or messages are effective or app ropriate in a particular situation. This knowledge can be about content, such as the topic of the conversation or information about the other communicator. For example, you might ha ve knowledge about someone’s food or movie preferences. But knowledge can also be abou t procedure, such as how an interaction should or could proceed. For example, you might k now how to best solve a problem or predict someone’s reaction to a message. Both content and procedural knowledge can improve communication competence. The second factor that facilitates an individual’s communication competence is motivation, which Spitzberg and Cupach (2011) define as a force that energizes and guides us to appro ach or avoid in a social situation. In other words, we have to actually want to be effective an d appropriate in order to be competent. We may have the knowledge that we need to be co mpetent, but choose to not use it. Conflict is an example of an interpersonal situation where communicators often are not motivated to be competent. If you are engaged in a conflict wi th a close relational partner, you might get so upset and frustrated by the topic and the mes sages exchanged that you intentionally decide to insult your partner, punch a hole in a wall, or storm out—all of which display limited communication competence. Finally, skill is a factor that facilitates competence. Skill is the ability to demonstrate the be haviors deemed most competent in a particular situation or context. Skill is dependent on k nowledge and motivation; we must possess both before we can develop skill. However, eve n if we are knowledgeable and motivated, there is no guarantee we will be skilled in an inte raction. For example, you might know how to behave and be motivated to act accordingly i n a specific situation, but perhaps you still perform poorly. This type of response can happe n in a job interview, a public speaking situation, and even a first date. Complete the communication competence scale provided in the following Self- Test feature. Communication competence is an important interpersonal skill, and it require s awareness of our individual communication patterns. Try to be honest with yourself as yo u complete the scale, or even ask a friend, family member, or romantic partner to complete

it on your behalf. Then evaluate your results and reflect on areas you could improve. The ne xt sections discuss techniques for improving your intrapersonal communication and develo ping your communication competence.