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CHAPTER 4

Persuasive and Bad News Messages

Not all workplace communication delivers good or routine news to an audience happy (or at least willing) to hear from the writer. In the work- place, organizations must often convey messages that the audience may not wish to hear. Some of these messages require persuasion to accomplish their purpose. Other times, these messages must deliver unwelcome news in a way that is digestible to the reader. Both of these situations demand a different writing approach than the direct strategy we have discussed.

In general, an indirect strategy is used when the reader may feel uninterested, displeased, disappointed, or hostile about the message.1 For example, customers may be less than interested in reading unsolicited sales messages; therefore, the situation calls for persuasion. Likewise, news that will negatively impact the reader may result in displeasure, disap- pointment, or anger. In the following sections, we will tackle how to write effectively for these common workplace scenarios.

Writing Persuasive Messages

Persuasive messages are written to gain agreement or win support for an idea. When an audience needs to be convinced to take some action, the first step is to examine the situation from the reader’s point of view. As a writer, you must consider the question the reader will ask, which is, What’s in it for me?2 This means you must emphasize the benefits to the reader, an approach sometimes referred to as the you view. The you view, simply put, is not focusing on me (i.e., the writer or the organization). It shows respect for the audience by anticipating and understanding its needs and poses information in a way that will be meaningful to the reader (you) rather than the organization or writer (me).

Mizrahi, Janet. Writing for the Workplace : Business Communication for Professionals, Business Expert Press, 2015. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/apus/detail.action?docID=2050916. Created from apus on 2021-08-10 22:51:10.

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Focusing on the benefits to the reader means that you must think strategically. For example, say you work for an auto repair chain that is trying to increase its customer base. In the message, you must emphasize the benefits of using your service. To determine the benefits, you examine the features you provide, such as being open late or having full service seven days a week. These features have inherent benefits. The benefit of being open late is that customers can pick up their cars after work. The benefit of being open every day is that customers can choose when to have a service performed. Focusing on benefits is the key to persuasive writing.

As mentioned, most situations calling for persuasive writing use an indirect strategy. This organizational style differs from the direct strategy in that it does not start off with the news or main idea. Instead, it builds toward that message using a series of calculated steps:

• The opening that captures reader attention • The body that builds reader interest • The closing that motivates reader action

The most common style of the indirect strategy for persuasion uses the AIDA model as illustrated in Table 4.1.

Table 4.1 AIDA persuasive strategy

Writing goal Writing strategy

A Attract attention Ask an arresting question Empathize with audience’s concerns Forge common ground in a statement reader and writer agree on mention an audience benefit Offer a compliment or praise

I Build interest Provide acts, statistics, examples, or details relevant to reader Reduce resistance by anticipating objections Establish the value of a proposal Employ both logical and emotional appeals

D Increase reader desire

Spell out reason to act

A Ask reader to take action

Tell reader what action is requested Weave reader benefit into request

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Persuasive messages need to immediately attract attention or they may be ignored. We do this in various ways. For example, if writing a persuasive fundraising letter to alumni, you might begin with a question that will stir up memories for the reader and likely make the reader want to read on: Remember when you walked into your first college class not knowing what to expect?

You may choose to open by establishing common ground by empa- thizing with the audience’s concerns, thus: We have all experienced the difficulty of finding parking near our offices.

Another way to open a persuasive message is to forge common ground in a statement both reader and writer agree on: The recent recession has taken a toll on middle-class families.

In a sales message, you may want to focus on a reader benefit: A free bottle of wine delivered monthly is just one of the many benefits you’ll experience as a member of the Stonebrook Vineyard Wine Club.

Offering a compliment or praise is another way to draw in a reader: As a former Bruin whose thriving business is legendary among current UCLA business students, your success story would be an inspiration to the Accounting Association.

Next, we need to build interest so our audience will stay with us. This can be accomplished with one or several of the following approaches:

• Using facts, statistics, examples, or details relevant to the reader

• Reducing resistance by anticipating reader objections • Establishing the value of a proposal • Employing both logical and emotional appeals

The following example uses a combination of these tactics.

Over the last two years, we are proud that our company has grown from 12 to 45 employees� However, while our staff was increasing, the number of parking spaces allocated to our suite has been steadily decreasing.

After interest has been built, the next step is to increase reader desire so your reader will act in the way you wish. In a sales letter, you might

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offer a money-back guarantee, free sample, or other incentives. If attempt- ing to convince a boss, you’d want to include facts or other evidence that convincingly support your request.

To help you spend more time at home and at work and less time searching for parking, we’ve developed a new carpool plan� Beginning March 3, we will provide preferred parking spots to employees forming car-or vanpools of three or more.

Finally, ask the reader to take action. Be specific; set deadlines or limit the amount of time the offer is available. And don’t forget to show gratitude!

Please let me know if you can speak at our meeting by August 20 so I can make the appropriate arrangements� You can phone me at (310) 544-2181 or e-mail me at jleastman@aol�com if you have any questions� I hope to see you in September!

Writing persuasively is an art, as any copywriter knows. Good per- suasive writing always focuses on the readers’ needs to attain the writer’s ultimate purpose.

Types of Persuasive Messages

Common workplace situations call for persuasion, and although each message is built upon the AIDA model, specific scenarios demand fine-tuning to meet the writing objective.

Claims or Requests for Adjustments

Claims or requests for adjustments are written when things go wrong— an incorrect product was shipped, a bill is in error, merchandise is faulty, or an insurance or other claim must be filed. In most cases these kinds of messages can be dealt with by using the direct approach. However, if the writer expects foot-dragging on the part of the receiver or if prior requests have been ignored, the indirect strategy may work best.

Persuasive requests should present an honest argument that appeals to the audience’s intelligence. The request should be posed using logic and

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facts in a moderate tone. The following paragraphs demonstrate the tone and content of a persuasive request.

Harper Hardware has a reputation for selling excellent products and providing personal service, and I have been a loyal customer for many years�

I visited your store on September 3 to purchase a ceiling fan� The one I chose was sold out, so I decided to shop elsewhere� Before I left, the sales representative helping me called her manager, Fred Kroll, who suggested that I order the fan and have it shipped to my home at no extra charge� However, when the fan arrived and I examined the invoice, I saw I was charged $49�50 for shipping fees� Because I was promised the product without the fee, would you reimburse me for the charge on my credit card?

I have every confidence you will take care of this matter and look forward to a satisfactory resolution�

Favor Request

Many times you will need to ask favors of an organization or an individ- ual. Such favor requests require persuasive writing. Begin by grabbing the reader’s attention with a compliment or a benefit. Build interest by providing the details using the you view. Reduce resistance by providing reader benefits, and close by giving a specific action you’d like the reader to take. Don’t forget to be courteous and show gratitude.

See Appendix B for a sample persuasive e-mail favor request.

Promoting an Idea

Supervisors often need to sell an idea to staff; likewise, staff members sometimes need to sell an idea to supervisors. Such persuasive messages that promote an idea need to be carefully worded. Say you work at a non- profit organization and want to suggest creating a newsletter to help keep members involved. You need to provide facts to support your argument and make a strong case for how the newsletter would benefit the organi- zation. This would require a description of the reason for the newsletter,

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facts supporting its usefulness, benefits of adopting the idea, and counter- arguments for possible objections to the idea. The document would end with a respectful conclusion stating the desired action and restating the main benefits.

See Appendix B for a sample of a persuasive memo promoting an idea.

Sales and marketing messages

As a consumer, you are frequently bombarded by unwanted sales and marketing messages whether they arrive in the mail, your inbox, your voice mail, or other means. But sales messages are a fact of life, and the fact is that they can work to meet an organization’s objectives.

In larger organizations, writing sales messages is frequently delegated to an individual skilled in copywriting or to an outside vendor who specializes in these types of messages. However, in smaller organizations, you may be called upon to write convincing sales or marketing messages. In these cases, follow the AIDA organizational strategy. If sending out an e-mail, write a catchy subject line that encourages the reader to open the message. Begin your message with a statement that will grab your reader’s attention and follow up with the details that will entice your reader to do what you want (act now, call now, order now, etc.). A caveat: Be sure to never misrepresent a product, service, or benefit or promise what you cannot deliver. It’s unethical and bad business.

See Appendix B for a sample e-mail sales message.

Writing Negative or Bad News

Delivering unwanted news is a fact of life in the world of work, and when an organization must inform its stakeholders of negative news, there are basic goals that a message must attain:

• Confirm that the bad news will be understood and accepted • Deliver the message in a way that the reader will continue to

look at the writer or organization in a positive light • Minimize future contact with the writer or organization about

the negative situation

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In some cases, delivering bad news uses the direct strategy. For example, anyone who has ever received a rejection letter from a college (certainly bad news!) knows that the bad news comes in the first line. This is done so that the anxious student does not overlook the information. If you think your reader would prefer to read the bad news first or if the situation demands firmness, use the direct approach for bad news. Begin with the bad news itself, explain the reasons for the bad news in the body, and close politely but firmly.

However, bad news is frequently delivered using the indirect strategy. This structure has four main elements, as Table 4.2 illustrates.

Table 4.2 Bad news message: indirect strategy elements

Indirect strategy elements Writing strategy

Neutral or buffer statement

describe a point on which both parties can agree Express appreciation Begin with good news Offer praise

Reasons leading to message

Include details supporting the denial Omit apologizing Use positive language wherever possible

The negative or undesired news

Clearly state the bad news to eliminate any misunderstanding deemphasize the bad news by placing it in a subordinate clause

Polite close Aim to build goodwill by offering an alternative, if possible, or a simple forward-looking statement

Begin your negative news correspondence with a buffer or neutral statement about which both the writer and reader can agree: The recent renovation of the University Club has made it a much sought-after venue.

Alternately, you may wish to start with a statement of appreciation: Thank you for your well researched proposal to include Mayweather House in this year’s Giving Back volunteer day.

You can offer any good news that is part of the message (as long as it doesn’t mislead the reader into thinking the message contains all good news) or offer praise to open your bad news message: All departments have done a great job decreasing their operating budgets.

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Start the second paragraph of the bad news message by providing logical reasons leading to the bad news itself. Slip in the bad news in a subordinate clause, and never repeat it. Make sure the negative message is clearly stated so you don’t create misunderstanding or encourage further communication. For example, following the previous buffer statement, our next sentence might read:

Since we have expanded our facility to accommodate parties of over 100 and added a gourmet chef, the number of organizations and individuals requesting to use the University Club for events has tripled� Our bylaws require that we give priority to members of the club before opening up our schedule to nonmembers, so we are unable to accommodate your request to use the Dean’s Room on the date you have requested.

The closing of the bad news message must be polite and promote goodwill to the reader, who has just heard unwelcome news. Avoid being too conciliatory by offering to provide “additional assistance” or to “call us if you have further questions.” If you are able to offer an alternative, do so. For example, if you know that another facility is available to accommodate the faculty retreat mentioned earlier or you can hold it on a different day, say so. If not, simply end on a positive note: Thank you for considering the University Club for your event, and we look forward to helping you in the future.

See Appendix B for an example of a bad news letter.

Conclusion

Writing to audiences who are not interested or pleased to be hearing from you requires tactful and skillful word crafting. Whether you are called upon to write persuasively to convince readers to do something they may object to or to deliver negative news, you will have greater success by thinking about the needs and reactions of the reader to achieve the purpose for which you are writing.

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