Summative Assignment: Curriculum Based Assessment Design

Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

Paper Title: Elizabeth Bray

No. of Pages: 7 Pages

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Other (please describe in your paper description)

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: Transitions & Fluency, Sentence Structure

Paper Goals: Summative Assignment: Curriculum Based Assessment Design Using

what you’ve learned from Chapters Six and Eight from Lefrançois as

well as other resources along the way, develop a curriculum based

assessment (CBA) centered on one of your two instructional plans

from Weeks Three and Four.

Proofing Summary:

Good afternoon Elizabeth,

I’m Jodi, your composition tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several suggestions

that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a live chat session with any follow-up questions or for any

clarification.

Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting

point for the revision process. Also, please note that I have not edited or proofread the entire draft for minor errors, but

rather, focused on overall concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at your grammar and punctuation,

please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your classroom.

You have done a nice job of giving great details about this lesson/assessment. Nice work!

For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:

1. I made a few comments about the structure of some paragraphs. First, some of them need to be developed more as

I commented about. Next, try not to start or end paragraphs with a citation. You always want to give your own

thoughts after a citation. Here is a good format:

P-Point—also known as your topic sentence where you state what the paragraph is about (in your own words)

I-Information—where you present your information (facts, details, quotes, and reasons)

E-Explanation—where you explain the relevance or importance of your information

S – Sentence summary – give a good sentence summary of the paragraph in your own words

2. To help with the organization and flow of your paper, I would suggest to add in some transitions.

You can use transitional words within a paragraph to connect your sentences and show the relationship

between your ideas. These may include: first, second, third, last, (first reason, second reason, etc), therefore, however,

for example, in contrast, for instance, although, in summary, to summarize, in closing, etc. You can also use transitions

between paragraphs to lead the reader from one topic to the next. Often you do this by briefly referring to the point

that came before while guiding the reader to the next. For example, you can use these in topic sentences to keep your

topics organized.

Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your next assignment.

Jodi

Writing Consultant

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Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

You should have page 1 up here.

page 2 / 10

Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

Maintain double spacing.

Do you have this backwards?

Remember that the topic

sentence should be telling

the reader what you are

discussing in the paragraph.

This topic sentence seems

to have a lot of specific

information in it. I would

revise this.

This is a little confusing as I read it. See

how you can revise this thought.

Can you make this a new sentence?

page 3 / 10

Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

I would suggest revising this

topic sentence. The topic

sentence should just be about

"I used various instructional

strategies to support my

students learning". Then, you

would discuss them in detail

in the paragraph. :)

Did you have a first point you discussed? I

would maybe use this transition first and

then the "second" one after.

What do you mean by this? Can you reword this a bit?

This is only three sentences long. I

would develop this a bit more and add

more to it.

page 4 / 10

Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

I would move this down a bit, so it is not on

the gray line.

You should use a comma with this

conjunction.

page 5 / 10

Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

Good sentence and paragraph

structure.

Who will perform this?

Unknown Author: If the

work does not have an

author, cite the source

by its title in the signal

phrase or use the first

word or two in the

parentheses. Titles of

books and reports are

italicized; titles of articles,

chapters, and web pages

are in quotation marks.

example:

A similar study was done

of students learning to

format research papers

("Using APA," 2001).

This source only has 4 authors, so

you should list them all out the first time you use

this source and not use "et al". Als

Also, try not to end

paragraphs with citations.

I would add your own

thoughts after this and

what you thought.

page 6 / 10

Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

References should always be on its own page. You

do not need a colon.

I would develop this a bit

more than just two sentences.

You should have the main

points you have discussed. I

would add a few more

sentences to your conclusion.

Again, try not ending paragraphs with a

citation. I would add your own thoughts

after this, and then maybe give a good

sentence summary of the paragraph. :)

This is only two sentences long.

Remember that paragraphs should be

about 5-10 sentences for academic

writing.

page 7 / 10

Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

Title needs revision:

When referring to books, chapters,

articles, or webpages, capitalize only

the first letter of the first word of a

title and subtitle, the first word after

a colon or a dash in the title, and

proper nouns.

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Proofed Paper: ntp414661 - Fri Jul 6 13:57:00 EDT 2018

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