What happened:
The Teen Drug Use Prevention Group started out rough. I didn’t want to be overly controlling, but right away they started joking about drugs. I think they were testing me. I ended up sharing some of my own drug use history and how I got into recovery. A staff member, Katie, was cofacilitating, and she just sat back because we agreed I was ready to take on more group leadership.
How I feel about it:
Really mixed feelings – embarrassed, proud, confused.
What thoughts are behind my feelings:
On the one hand, I think I gained some trust from the group by being honest and showing them I came from a similar background. On the other hand, it felt like a desperate move on my part – there had to be another way to get them to stop joking and go deeper. Katie seems like she comes from a more stable background, so maybe she judged me for my past drug use. I’m still not sure how I could’ve handled it differently.
What values are at stake:
I actually like these kids a lot. They remind me of myself. I want them to succeed, they’re street-smart and have a lot of potential. So my belief in human potential is why I’m doing this at all. And social justice – the kids in this neighborhood don’t have too many ladders to climb. I want this group to be a ladder.
What I can learn:
I think next time I need to plan better and expect some resistance. We had this whole curriculum planned but we didn’t talk about how to get the kids to buy into it.
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phaynes
ChamberlainUniversityMSW551FieldJournalSample1.docx
