violence

11

Ending Violence

By far one of the most widespread positive interventions ofcontem­

porary feminist movement remains the effort to create and sustain

greater cultural awareness of domestic violence as weIl as the

changes that must happen in our thinking and action ifwe are to see

its end. Nowadays the problem ofdomestic violence is talked ab out

in so many circles, from mass media to grade schools, that it is often

forgotten that contemporary feminist movement was the force that

dramatically uncovered and exposed the ongoing reality ofdomestic

violence. lnitially feminist focus on domestic violen ce highlighted

male violence against women, but as the movement progressed evi­

dence showed that there was also domestic violen ce present in

same-sex relations, that women in relationships with women were

and are often times the victims of abuse, that children were also vic­

tims of adult patriarchal violence enacted by women and men.

Patriarchal violence in the home is based on the belief that it is

acceptable for a more powerful individual to control others through

various forms of coercive force. This expanded definition of do­

mes tic violence includes male violence against women, same-sex vi­

olence, and adult violence against children. The term "patriarchal

violence" is useful because unlike the more accepted phrase "do­

mestic violence" it continually reminds the listener that violen ce in

61 DOI: 10.4324/9781315743189-11

2 0 1 4 . R o u t l e d g e .

A l l r i g h t s r e s e r v e d . M a y n o t b e r e p r o d u c e d i n a n y f o r m w i t h o u t p e r m i s s i o n f r o m t h e p u b l i s h e r , e x c e p t f a i r u s e s p e r m i t t e d u n d e r U . S . o r a p p l i c a b l e c o p y r i g h t l a w .

EBSCO Publishing: eBook Collection (EBSCOhost) printed on 5/19/2025 8:33:36 PM UTC via CERRITOS COMMUNITY COLLEGE 864857; bell hooks; Feminism Is for Everybody : Passionate Politics Account:ehost.

62 FEMINISM IS FOR EVERYBODY

the home is connected to sexism and sexist thinking, to male domi­

nation. For too long the term domestic violence has been used as a

"soft" term which suggests it emerges in an intimate context that is

private and somehow less threatening, less brutal, than the violence

that takes place outside the home. This is not so, since more women

are beaten and murdered in the home than on the outside. Also

most people tend to see domestic violence between adults as sepa­

rate and distinct from violence against children when it is not. Often

children suffer abuse as they attempt to protect a mother who is be­

ing attacked by a male companion or husband, or they are emotion­

ally damaged by witnessing violence and abuse.

Just as a vast majority of citizens in this nation believe in equal

pay for equal work most folks believe that men should not beat

women and children. Yet when they are told that domestic violence

is the direct outcome of sexism, th at it will not end until sexism ends,

they are unable to make this logicalleap because it requires challeng­

ing and changing fundamental ways of thinking about gender. Sig­

nificantly, I am among those rare feminist theorists who believe that

it is crucial for feminist movement to have as an overriding agenda

endingall forms of violence. Feminist focus on patriarchal violence

against women should remain a primary concern. However empha­

sizing male violence against women in a manner which implies that

it is more horrendous than all other forms of patriarchal violence

does not serve to further the interests of feminist movement. It ob­

scures the reality th at rlmch patriarchal violence is directed at chil­

dren by sexist women and men.

In a zealous effort to call attention to male violence against

women reformist feminist thinkers still choose often to portray fe­

males as always and only victims. The fact that many violent attacks

on children are perpetrated by women is not equally highlighted and

seen as another expression of patriarchal violence. We know now

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63 ENDING VIOLEN CE

that children are violated not only when they are the direct targets of

patriarchal violence but as well when they are forced to witness vio­

lent acts. Had all feminist thinkers expressed outrage at patriarchal

violence perpetrated by women, placing it on an equal footing with

male violence against women, it would have been and will be harder

for the public to dismiss attention given patriarchal violence by see­

ing it as an anti-male agenda.

Adults who have been the victims ofpatriarchal violence perpe­

trated by females know that women are not nonviolent no matter

the number of surveys that tell us women often are more inclined to

use nonviolence. The truth is that children have na organized collec­

tive voice to speak the reality ofhow aften theyare the objects of fe­

male violence. Were it not for the huge numbers of children seeking

medical attention because of violence done by wamen and men,

there might be na evidence documenting female violence.

I first raised these concerns in the chapter "Feminist Movement

to End Violence" in Feminist Theory: From Margin to Centefj stating:

It is essential for continued feminist struggle to end violence

against women that this struggle be viewed as a component of an

overall movement to end violence. So far feminist movement has

primarily focused on male violence, and as a consequence lends

credibility to sexist stereotypes that suggest men are violent,

women are not; men are abusers, women are victims. This type of

thinking allows us to ignore the extent to which women (with

men) in this society accept and perpetuate the idea that it is ac­

ceptable for a dominant party or group to maintain power over

the dominated by using coercive force. I t allows us to overlook or

ignore the extent to which women exert coercive authority over

others or act violently. The fact that women may not commit vio­

lent acts as often as men does not negate the reality of female vio­

lence. We must see both men and women in this society as groups

who support the use of violence if we are to eliminate it.

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64 FEMINISM IS FOR EVERYBODY

A mother who might never be violent but who teaches her children,

especially her sons, that violen ce is an acceptable means of exerting

social control, is still in collusion with patriarchal violence. Her

thinking must be changed.

Clearly most Women do not use violence to dominate men

(even though small numbers of women batter the men in their lives)

but lots of women believe that a person in authority has the right to

use force to maintain authority. A huge majority ofparents use some

form of physical or verbal aggression against children. Since women

remain the primary caretakers of children, the facts confirm the real­

ity that given a hierarchal system in a culture of domination which

empowers females (like the parent-child relationship) all too often

they use coercive force to maintain dominance. In a culture ofdomi­

nation everyone is socialized to see violence as an acceptable means

of social control. Dominant parties maintain power by the threat

(acted upon Oï not) that abusive punishment, physical Oï psycholog­

ical, will be used whenever the hierarchal structures in place are

threatened, whether that be in male-female relationships, or parent

and child bonds.

Male violence against women has received much ongoing media

attention (highlighted by real-life court cases like the trial against

0.). Simpson) but awareness has not led the American public to

challenge the underlying causes of this violence, to challenge patriar­

chy. Sexist thinking continues to support male domination and the

violence th at is a consequence. Since masses of unemployed and

working-class men do not feel powerful on their jobs within white

supremacist patriarchy they are encouraged to feel that the one place

where they will have absolute authority and respect is in the home.

Men are socialized by ruling-class groups of men to accept domina­

tion in the public world ofwork and to believe that the private world

ofhome and intimate relationships will restore to them the sense of

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65 ENDING VIOLENCE

power they equate with masculinity. As more men have entered the

ranks of the unemployed or receive low wages and more women have

entered the world of work, some men fee! that the use of violence is

the only way they can establish and maintain power and dominance

within the sexist sex role hierarchy. Until they unlearn the sexist

thinking that tells them they have a right to rule over women by any

means, male violence against women will continue to be a norm.

Early on in feminist thinking activists often failed to liken male

violence against women to imperialist militarism. This linkage was

often not made because those who were against male violence were

often accepting and even supportive of militarism. As long as sexist

thinking socializes boys to be "killers," whether in imaginary good

guy, bad guy fights or as sokliers in imperialism to maintain coercive

power over nations, patriarchal violence against women and chil­

dren will continue. In recent years as young males from diverse class

backgrounds have committed horrendous acts of violence there has

been national condemnation of these acts but few attempts to link

this violence to sexist thinking.

I conclude the chapter on violence in Feminist Theory: Fmm Mar­

gin to Center emphasizing that men are not the only people who ac­

cept, condone, and perpetuate violence, who create a culture of

violence. I urge women to take responsibility for the role women

play in condoning violence:

By only calling attention to male violence against women, or mak­

ing militarism just another expres sion of male violence, we fail to

adequately address the problem of violence and make it difficuIt

to develop viabie resistance strategies and solutions . . .. While we

need not diminish the severity of the problem of male violence

against women or male violence against nations or the planet, we

must acknowledge that men and women have together made the

United States a culture of violence and must work together to

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66 FEMINISM IS FOR EVERYBODY

transform and recreate that culture. Women and men must op­

pose the use ofviolence as a means of social contral in all its man­

ifestations: war, male violence against women, adult violence

against children, teenage violence; racial violence, etc. Feminist

efforts to end male violence against women must be expanded

into a move ment to end all forms of violen ce.

And it is especial!y vital that parents learn to parent in nonviolent

ways. For our children wil! not turn away from violence if it is the

only way they know to handle difficuIt situations.

In our nation masses of people are concerned about violen ce

but resolutely refuse to link th at violence to patriarchal thinking or

male dQmination. Feminist thinking offers a solution. And it is up to

us to make that solution available to everyone.

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