Mate Selection Reflection Paper

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Chapter 6

Nonmarital Lifestyles: Living Alone, Cohabiting, and Other Options

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© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

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Chapter Outline

  • What Does It Mean to Be Single?
  • Reasons for More Unmarrieds
  • Singles: Their Various Living Arrangements
  • Cohabitation and Family Life
  • Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

What Does It Mean to Be Single?

  • Many college students think of “being single” as not being in a romantic relationship.
  • Some believe that “being single” means to have never been married.
  • To the U.S. Census Bureau, single simply means unmarried.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Reasons for More Unmarrieds

  • In 1970, fewer than 28% of U.S. adults were single; today, there are as many singles as married people.
  • This change is due to a growing proportion of widowed elderly, a high divorce rate, young adults postponing marriage, along with a growing incidence of cohabitation.

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Marital Status of U.S. Population

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Marital Status of U.S. Population

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© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Reasons for More Unmarrieds

  • Major reasons for more unmarrieds are due to several social factors: demographic, economic, technological, social, and cultural.

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© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Demographic, Economic, and Technological Changes

  • The sex ratio (number of men to women in a given society or subgroup) influences marital options and singlehood.
  • Throughout the 19th and early 20th centuries, the United States had more men than women.
  • Today this is reversed due to changes in immigration patterns and greater improvement in women’s health.

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© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Demographic, Economic, and Technological Changes

  • In 1910 there were nearly 106 men for every 100 women.
  • In 2012, there were about 96 men for every 100 women.
  • Beginning with middle-age, there are increasingly fewer men than women.
  • Sex ratio differs somewhat for various racial/ethnic categories.

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© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Demographic, Economic, and Technological Changes

  • Expanded educational and career options for college-educated women have led many to postpone marriage.
  • Middle-aged, divorced women with careers tend to view marriage as a bad bargain once they have gained financial and sexual independence.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Demographic, Economic, and Technological Changes

  • The fact that many men’s earning potential has declined, relative to women’s, may make marriage less attractive to both genders.
  • Growing economic disadvantage and uncertainty make marriage less available to many who might want to marry but feel they can’t financially afford it.

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Demographic, Economic, and Technological Changes

  • With effective contraception, sexual relationships outside marriage, without great risk of unwanted pregnancy, became possible.
  • New conception technologies offer the possibility for planned pregnancy to unpartnered heterosexual women as well as same-sex couples.

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© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Social and Cultural Changes

  • Emerging adulthood: People spend more time in higher education or exploring career options than in the past.
  • It is now widely accepted that young people will have sexual intercourse before marriage.
  • As American culture gives greater weight to autonomy, many find that singlehood is more desirable than marriage.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Social and Cultural Changes

  • Being unmarried has become an acceptable option, rather than the deviant lifestyle that it was once thought to be.
  • Cohabitation is emerging as a socially accepted alternative to marriage.
  • Getting married is no longer the only way to gain adult status.
  • Marriage has become less strongly defined as permanent.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Singles: Their Various Living Arrangements

  • Living Alone
  • Living Apart Together
  • Living with Parents
  • Group or Communal Living

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

Living Alone

  • Individuals living alone make up over one-quarter of U.S. households—up from 8% in 1940.
  • The likelihood of living alone increases with age in all racial/ethnic groups and is markedly higher for older women than for older men.

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Living Apart Together

  • Living apart together (LAT): A couple is engaged in a long-term relationship but each partner maintains a separate dwelling.
  • Difficult to ascertain number of these relationships, but it is clearly emerging in the U.S.

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Living with Parents

  • The percentage of young adults living at home has increased dramatically since 2000.
  • Reasons are both cultural and economic.
  • Boomerangers—adult children who had previously left home but then returned.

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Living with Parents

  • About 25% of boomerangers report the situation is bad for their relationship with their parents; 25% say it is good; 50% say it has not affected their relationship.
  • About 60% of parents have positive things to say about their adult children moving back home.

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Living with Parents

  • Some believe young people have been “coddled” and are unprepared for life as independent adults. Others cite the trend of “emerging adulthood” as a prime reason.
  • Today’s parents may expect to serve as “collaborators” in their children’s transition to adulthood.
  • However, conflict between parents and adult children can be an issue.

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Percentage men and women ages 18 to 34 living with a parent or relative

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Group or Communal Living

  • Communes: Situations or places characterized by group living
  • “Accordion” families provide economic and emotional/social functions.
  • Communal living is designed to provide enhanced opportunities for social support and companionship.
  • Financial considerations and the desire for companionship encourage romantically involved singles to share households.

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Cohousing

  • Co-housing started in Denmark and spread to the United States in the early 1980s.
  • Cohousing complexes typically provide private areas with communal kitchens and often have community gardens.

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Cohabitation and Family Life

  • Cohabitation: Unmarried couples living together
  • One of the most important changes in family life in the past 40 years
  • By 2013, an estimated 65 percent of women aged 19 to 44 had cohabited—up from 33 percent in 1987.
  • This trend is expected to increase.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

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Percentage of women ages 19 to 44 who have ever cohabited, by age

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A Closer Look at Diversity

  • The meaning of cohabitation varies along racial and ethnic lines.
  • Puerto Ricans have a long history of consensual marriages.
  • Exposure to other cultural systems changes norms of cohabitation acceptance.

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Cohabitating

  • Cohabitation remains illegal in a handful of states.
  • Cohabitation means different things to different people, but it is very much a family status, though one in which the levels of certainty about commitment are less than in marriage.

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Cohabitation: A four-stage process

  • Stage 1: Vast majority of heterosexuals marry without cohabiting first.
  • Stage 2: More people cohabit, but mainly as a form of courtship before marriage.
  • Stage 3: Cohabiting becomes a socially acceptable alternative to marriage.
  • Stage 4: Cohabitation and marriage become virtually indistinguishable.
  • Social scientists believe the U.S. is currently transitioning from stage 2 to stage 3.

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Characteristics of Cohabiters

  • Cohabiters are younger, less educated, earn less income, and are likely to have relatively permissive attitudes toward sex.
  • Nonhispanic whites have a slightly higher rate of cohabitation than African Americans and Hispanics.
  • About 75% of cohabiters are younger than 45, though the proportion of middle-aged cohabiters has increased over the past two decades.

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Why Do People Cohabit?

  • As a prelude to marriage
  • As an alternative to marriage
  • As an alternative to being single

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The Cohabiting Relationship

  • Cohabiters are less homogamous than marrieds and are twice as likely as marrieds to be interracial.
  • For a variety of reasons, cohabiting relationships are relatively short-term.
  • Relationship quality of “long-term” cohabiting couples (together for at least 4 years) differ little from marrieds in conflict levels, amount of interaction, or relationship satisfaction
  • For both marrieds and long-term cohabiters, relationship satisfaction declines with the addition of children to the household.

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Cohabitation and Intimate Partner Violence

  • More intimate partner violence among cohabitaters than among marrieds.
  • Prominent selection effect exists.

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As We Make Choices: Some Things to Know about the Legal Side of Living Together

  • Domestic Partners
  • Residence
  • Bank Accounts
  • Power of Attorney for Finances
  • Credit Cards

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  • Property
  • Insurance
  • Wills and Living Trusts
  • Health Care Decision Making
  • Children
  • Breaking Up

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Cohabitating Parents and Outcomes for Children

  • More than half of all nonmarital births occur to cohabiting mothers.
  • In 2015, 39% of cohabiting heterosexual households contain children under age 18.
  • Having a child while cohabiting does not necessarily increase a couple’s odds of staying together, but conceiving a child during cohabitation and then marrying before the baby is born does increase union stability.

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Children’s Outcomes

  • Instability with cohabitation (intermittent cohabitation) is related to problematic outcomes for children.
  • Cohabiting parents spend less on their children’s education than do marrieds.
  • Adolescents are more likely to experience earlier premarital intercourse, higher rates of school suspension, and antisocial and delinquent behaviors.
  • Compared to single-parent homes, children do benefit economically.

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Cohabiting Same-Sex Couples

  • There are about 800,000 same-sex couple households in the U.S. Nearly one-fifth have children.
  • Twice as many female same-sex couples as male same-sex couples have children.
  • About 80,000 same-sex couples are in civil unions or registered as domestic partners.
  • Today, between 55-60% of Americans favor legal marriage for same-sex couples.

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Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction

  • For singles, it’s important to develop and maintain supportive social networks of friends and family.
  • Single people place high value on friendships, and they are also major contributors to community services and volunteer work.

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Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction

  • Life satisfaction is associated with income as well as marital status.
  • People in secure interpersonal heterosexual or same-sex relationships, and those who socialize often with friends and family, are happier than those who spend considerable time alone.

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Maintaining Supportive Social Networks and Life Satisfaction

  • Living arrangements of unmarrieds form a continuum of social attachment; not all singles are socially unattached or isolated.
  • Living alone can be lonesome. However, it does not necessarily imply a lack of social integration or meaningful connections with others.
  • A crucial part of one’s support network involves valued friendships.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.

© 2018 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied, or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.