Ch-6 reflection

Chapter 6 Lecture-Lifespan

A friend of yours is going through a divorce, and she has asked you to help her cope with her two preschool-age sons. Write a letter to your friend and explain the current research on the effects of divorce and ways to facilitate her children’s adaptation.

Lecture video word file:

Well, we are dealing with chapter number six, social-emotional development and early childhood. This chapter, it's getting a little bit shorter. It's focuses on emotional and personhood of element, families, pay relations play in media screen time. The PowerPoint covers a lot of the information as well as the book does. I'm going to pull out just some of the information. We have to remember that we're now dealing with social, emotional development and early childhood. And so we're going to talk a little bit more about Erickson's theories, a little bit about generative element and families. What I do want to highlight here when we talk about emotion, the person item, element. And yet the remember from chapter five, we talked about a major theories of cognitive element. And we talked a little bit about Vygotsky than Piaget and information processing. Well, we have to recognize that as the child develops cognitively, they're also developing emotionally. And this has actually bought out a little bit in chapter four and chapter three when you talked about cognitive theory relating to the sensory-motor period, which is the sense of sensory abilities and motor skills. And then talk about the child's ability to form attachment and bonding and how that's all developing relatively at the same time. And so at the same time that they are not developing in this preoperational stage for, for, for Piaget and going through this development and understanding and be able to pay attention to things and having this degree of executive control, executive functioning, which means they have this motivated activity, specific things that are positive and have a good sense of self. And I did of who they are. Jumping off from the previous chapter, we are going to focus on the development of self. Now what you have to remember that in the previous stage, which is going to be the infancy stage when we talk about Eric's and they develop their sense of trust, which is going to be trust versus mistrust. And then they developed a sense of autonomy VS, VS shame and doubt. So that's knocked out of the way. So they have this trust about the environment. They have this independence going on, which is when autonomy is. And once those, those ideas are dealt with on the unconscious level, they're not progressing to the third stage, which is going to be the initiative versus the guilt. Now they're showing that they have this sense of hope. The environment's gonna give them what they need so that about trust. They wanted to put up this sense of willpower. And other one is showed this sense of playfulness. Interesting thing about this is that when you allow children to develop in this stage, they wanted to show you that they can do specific things. So what you might see in this time period is if you ask a child, you know, who's three or four, 4-5, What do you want to do today is going to give you a whole bunch of things that they wanted to they could plaque, oh my gosh, I wanna go to the z or what a pit. The atom was unwilling to put this thing raising. And then I went to go see the kangaroos, which I don't even have artist singles who has kangaroos, but I don't want to see that seemed rather than Waze the big cats one array on the tray. And then I will go to Khartoum June and it wouldn't do these. And then I wanted to do the bookkeeping like, oh my gosh, that's great. If they don't want to run right down the hill, the hill, hill you talk about, but it's all about the Hill that's under the art museum. Go down the healed and I went around the bone that I want to like, wow, that's a lot to do. And then they say, and then we can have lunch. And so I was like, well, you want to do all these things at the start of the day, but they want to show that they can plan specific things. And then you want to show you that they can, that they are able to do those particular things. So you want to encourage that sense of initiative with a child. You want to encourage him like, oh my gosh, those are great ideas. And you have the ability to do those particular things. You're the ability to pet the animals or pet the sting rays or go see the Big Cats. Alright, the tray and new physically can't do it. You can't experience it. And I want to encourage the child to keep doing it. But what can sometimes happen is as an adult, as a pair and where our first responses like there's no way we're doing all that. There's like no time available to do all that. And it's really ridiculous things you come up with a it or maybe that's a stupid idea. You know, you can do better than that, which encourages a sense of guilt. And so that and this time pay for Ericsson is the child is trying to this sense of who they are, which is the growth of their self. We have to encourage this initiative versus distance of guilt, making them feel bad for planning to do specific things. Their understanding of who they are is going to be impacted. It's going to be an impact a lot by the things that we put around them in their particular environment, and then the belief of what they themselves can do. Children overwhelmingly during this time period, have overwhelmingly higher degrees of self-esteem because they believe they can do a lot of things. And Moses, like I can do this, I could do that. There's nothing I can do. I can figure it out. So it's like they can watch a television show or they can watch a movie. And if they see Spider-Man do something, mouse and rat is d something or black pride to do something or our Superman do something. Or I guess marvels of the biggest things. Let's just take Superman because that's Justice League. So I might be able to see the, we all know what happened in the last Avengers movies. But anyway, so it's like when you see the characters, the kids at this age, buddy, they can do the exact same thing. And so it's like, well, if he can do that, then I could do the same thing. Watch me do it, and they can try different things. And we want to encourage you to try different things. And they believe that because they tried it, that means that they themselves are efficient at it and they're amazing at it. It protects them in a way and because the developing a sense of who they are and we don't want them to go through life feeling a sense of guilt or dread. When people talk about self-esteem and children not being realistic views of self-esteem. You're not talking about a four-year-old. That's stopped that. And so in the next couple of chapters we'll talk about sofa statement. When people talk about getting, giving kids rewards for everything, you're not talking about. That's middle childhood. That's not what we're talking about right now with early Todd. So we're that's what we're talking about. A three or four-year-old, there's an unrealistic view and it's okay if they have it at three or four. They start to have an understanding of this view of other people. And we always understand and as I seek is egocentric as Piaget, Piaget suggested, they're starting to have a broader degree of emotionality. Remember the age of two or so they start to have self-awareness, emotions. So instead of just, you know, feeling of being happy or sad, they can feel the shame, embarrassed, frustrated. And so they're starting to recognize what makes them frustrated. They're starting to recognize things that they are doing that are upsetting. And they also start to recognize it a little bit of how those things can impact other people. In a lot of that comes about by the types of play that children do or are, how is adults who tend to communicate with them? And there can be some variation between cultures of coaches that are more restrictive and emotionality, then children are self aware. But what emotion is most important? So if restraint, self-control, not showing anger is what's important, then gingiva recognize or start to develop this degree of recognition that they're getting upset them but less like, but they're less likely to show it because in that particular societies not encouraged. But if we want a culture where being embarrassed is not something to be ashamed about, then they can recognize what that it bears. Bears meant is and then more than able to verbalize and, or to show it, because in that particular society, it is more likely to be encouraged. And so that's where you see cultural variations and differences in how we tend to express different emotions. Even other development of emotion can be very comparable across societies. There's a pride, shame, and embarrassment that I talked about. This last statement, you should feel bad about batting your sisters. Suppose encourage a sense of guilt. But the only way that actually happens, and I'm going a little bit ahead here. The OMA that actually happens is what we call an intuitive sense of theory of mind. Which actually was a little bit of part of chapter five. There you've mind is understanding that other people have different views, different beliefs, different emotionality. And so if I want to encourage pro-social behavior and empathetic behavior and using ideas like who should feel bad about hitting your sister or biting your sister. What I'm actually trying to encourage the child to recognize is that their sister or their brother or their someone else has different beliefs and different feelings. And what I do as a child can impact that other person, but that can only happen. Going back to chapter five, the child develops a sense of theory of mind, the belief that other people can be impacted by emotionality, that other people have different beliefs, that other people can have emotions different than my emotions. So unless egocentric. And so I can feel bad about that. And I can't feel bad about that because I recognize that how are the things that I do can impact other people? And so what I do talk about emotional development. I had to recognize that cognitively decision had to be able to understand that other people have emotions. So it's like if a child doesn't understand that their behavior can make someone upset or bothered telling the child. You should feel bad. You should feel that you should feel bad is only going to get you a look of the child staring at you literally blank face like I read, I see what you're saying because you know what? When I took when I bit my sister and many feel good, right? And so you keep telling me I should feel bad. But I'm kinda like I feel good though, because I will have Theory of Mind. You have like day people. And so this is actually I couldn't people at date individuals and they get into fights because you'd get upset because the other person doesn't understand your point of view. How frustrating and that is, it's the same with you. Try to explain to a child to understand someone else's point of view. And they've learned not cognitively equipped to understand that. Now for the adults, they should be able to say something that's going on, but the idea is still the same. From narrative book talks a little bit more about how you can help regulate. The interesting thing about this is the book highlights emotion coaching and emotion dismissing the help to regulate emotions. Again, there's going to be that cultural coachable cultural contexts. There's gonna be some cultural contexts there. And so in a particular society, what do we encourage children to do? And there's also going to be a gender issue. And so do we have mostly coach or do you mostly dismissed children and their ability to help their emotions, whether they have or whether they're a boy or a girl. So like one emotion could be, you know, sadness based on something that happened in the environment. If it's a sad situation and children cry, do we encourage that and have children work through it and talk about it, which is emotion coping, or do we push children to basically say, beats Huffington that is stronger than that? Man up, especially for boys, you gotta Man Up, which is more and mostly dismissing. And so children actually need to be able to express those emotions. Again, we're not talking about a 16-year-old, which technically, I would also argue that they should also be able to express their emotions. We're talking about a three or four-year-old. So telling a three or four-year-old, which I've seen I've seen parents tell little four Fido Chin her crying on the store, man up be tub, don't do that. And it's kinda interesting. Now someone could say like, what's a massive throwing a tantrum in the store. I'm not going to say keep throwing a tantrum. That's true. But this isn't the broader picture versus just the individual context is a situation where generally do we encourage children to express themselves by engaging, trying to figure out why there have said or do we tell children, you know what, I know you're upset but stop it. There's nothing to be upset about. There's nothing being upset about this. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Of course, there's always the approach of if you're going to cry, I'm gonna give you something to cry about, which I would not encourage that either. From there, the book talks about moral fillings and development. There are quiz questions about that. I'm gonna be honest. I read on talk about moral reasoning and moral theories. Because the theory that's developed using Piaget and Kohlberg, It's, it's a justice theory I think is to culturally biased. So make sure you read that, but I'm not going to really get into that. Gender development during this particular time period develops. There's a lot of misinformation currently in our society. And right now someone listening to right now is probably going to say, oh no, here comes a leftist agenda. But it's not really Leptis the gin. I'm just simply saying that killing in our society people are debating gender identity, gender development, and child distinguished gender between sex or biological sex. And obviously biological sex is going to be more genetic. Typically if you're an XX chromosome than you are a female, if you're an XY that biological your Mao, gender is the really most important part about gender. And this is, again, this information is decades and decades. Oh, so it's not even a new thing. The gender portion is really about the expectations that we assigned to whatever being masking or being Finland is. When someone talks about gender identity is really asking how masculine or feminine Do you feel or what expectations are there if you classify yourself as male, the classifier surface female. And so when people sometimes talk about gender roles and gender fluidity to talking about and how someone tends to feel, think, believe in relation to their biological sex. And it's not as such, a such thing where some of that, Well, I feel this way one way or feel this way another way. It's not like I feel like eating relapsed in one day and I feel like eating. Remember last we find that the best T fluid if it is that I thought he'd read after one day and I feel like a1 land injuries the next day. That again, is very limited context when we think about moving thing about just the layman's of the everyday context of failing. Typically when we talk about for them, we talk about gender rose, again, it's macro and it's a consistent pattern. And so, and it's never been a moment to read choice to do something. It's simply if someone says they're a girl, What does that mean, your particular society? And someone says your boy, what does that mean? That's what we talk about with gender identity, gender roles, and gender typing. That's literally what that is. And tutor started acquiring that early. And you can see church and say, there are certain things that girls play with. There are certain things that boys play with. Girls do this, boys do that. And those and that becomes a part of them saying when it because I'm a girl, I do this or because I'm a boy, I do that. And all of that is a lot of that is really culturally based. There is some research that suggests as a biological basis, which we'll talk about later. But in general, we talk about a sense of gender identity. That's, that literally is what that is about. What influenced the gender identity, chromosomes, hormones, evolution, the multiple theories of social, multiple theories of gender. Where people are trying to explain why a child would feel like they're a boy, a watch out, there's like they are a girl. And what that actually means, there are multiple theories. I'm, the social role theory says that when you talk about males and females are women and men and women differences. It's based on what we classify the role of a man or woman is supposed to do in a particular society. So if you enter society which historically women are supposed to be caregivers with disposed to take care of children, are supposed to keep the house in a certain order, and men are supposed to be out working and engaging. That's a social role that was created. And so what happens is we teach children based on the social role that our particular culture embraced. So if we cheats, we say that women are supposed to be caregivers, then we teach girls. Be caregivers. We teach boys to be breadwinners. We teach that they're not born knowing that people well, it's sub i's no, there's biological differences as far as weight and believable by muscular, less clarity and hormonal differences that I understand that. But what I'm talking about, biological differences related to, you know, biological sex, we're literally talking about breadwinner or caretakers. And so someone could argue, well, girls have breasts and provide milk. Therefore, this supposed to be the care, There's supposed to be the caregivers. I would argue. I mean, it can be argued that which can also have societies in which individuals that are providing milk are still tend to be in the more than bread winners will. They will actually go out and still provide more for their family. And it's like, well, it's not even like anything. So if society believes that even though women produce milk, there still has to be the ones that are going out engaging in society to bring food back home. Then you're gonna teach that to the child. So you're gonna teach to grow that. Yes, you do provide milk for the infant. But once you do that, you need to go out and start hunting. And the guys was to stay home and take care of the child and then do the sleeping and stuff. If that's the societal role that your culture embraces, and that's what you teach the boys and girls. That's a social role theory is, cytolytic theory is so bizarre. But a busy suggests using Freudian theory that we developed by gender roles, meaning boys do certain things and girls do certain things because of this unconscious conflict that is going to be happening. And that's third stage of Freud's psychoanalytic theory. And the third stage is going to be this phallic stage. And so preschool, it showed you develop a sexual attraction to the opposite-sex parent. So in actuality, for Freud, which there is the Bible, we sent them, mentioned them briefly and it's gonna be very brief. So for Freud, what happens is boys develop an unconscious attraction to their primary caregiver, who is the father, was or who is the mother. They have this unconscious desire, an unconscious desire and attraction to that caregiver. But they start to realize using the super ego that is morally wrong to actually desire the mother. And so what they decided to do is try to act more like their father. And so boys develop their gender role to act been in that British society because they will then attract someone who's just like their mother. That's the preschool child. Child develops such a treks to the opposite sex parent. Boys become a trigger to the mother. They can have the mothers of the act like their father, so they can get a woman who's just like them mom. So technically you as an adult as an adult male, I'm acting a certain way because technically when I date someone to marry someone who happens to be of the opposite sex, I'm wanting someone to be like my mom to take care of me. Now right now you guys have read someone's predicting that theory, but some of you are saying, you know, why that is so true. I always want someone to take care of the yeah. Okay. Right. The other part of that theory, of course, is that girls, there's a little bit different. Girls, a little bit different, but in general, girls are looking for daddies and boys are looking for mommy's. Social Cognitive Theory is the idea that children learn their gender role based on observation, imitation of others in their environment. So one of the common examples that I gave is that it's not uncommon for, for whether boys or girls to imitate the primary caregiver. And in our society, it is still women. Covitz early. Covitz early. Then I'm going to show just how tax women are and doing this because they're working as well as doing more than primary care giving other the book does do a bone out to the guys like you doing more women as their primary caregiver. So it's not uncommon for boys or girls to do whatever their mothers doing. So if she's putting makeup on in the morning or eyelashes, putting her eyelashes on. It's not uncommon for boys and girls to try and put on eyelashes or put on makeup. It's not uncommon from boys or girls to try and put on the high-heel shoes are put on lipstick. That's a 100% not uncommon because they're Lily imitating who's in their environment. But what happens is the boy puts on lipstick and the caregiver who happens to be a female laughs, That's reinforcing, but then the mail may be in the environment and he's not laughing. So then there's a punishment behavior. So the child learns the gender role based on the punishment they receive and they try to act more like their mother. And it's the same as with girls in our particular society. It tends to be more advantageous to act in a way that's more androgen. Well, I wanna say it's more masculine, meaning that it's more encouraged for a girl to do things that we think boys are supposed to do. That in is for boys to do things that we think girls are supposed to do. And we tend to punish differently. They talk about parental influences and socialization strategies as well as preschoolers. Preschoolers are really hyper gender biased. People tend to like, make fun of girls or boys who want to play outside their gender group. I know that there is a cognitive theories that gender schema theory, the gender schema theory would you wanna think about, is that basically children are born with boxes. Children are going to categorize and classify them by their wet. I mean, we're born to do that because it's more efficient in our environment to classify and categorize. And so what you'll see is if we are raising a boy and we say boys play with this toy, boys play with that toy. Boys develop a box. And in that box you put down boy things and then they have a box that puts date they have for girl things. And so if you give the child a football and a soccer ball that goes into the boy box. And someone's like were, here's a, here's a Barbie doll. And the child is told barbie does offer girls. They're going to put that in the Girl Box. And they start to realize, because they develop their own sense of their gender identity by two to three and it's by five that pretty stable, but they recognize that I'm a boy. My boy box are the sports things and the Girl Box or these Barbie doll thing that's gender inappropriate for me. So therefore, i don't play with them or do I ignore them? Or am I make fun of kids who do play with those things because those are the Girl Box things. And that's how you want to think of gender schema theory. So ideally, what would happen if you want to reduce gender stereotyping as basically expand the boxes and whatever you put in one box, you put in the other box. So if you have a boy bogs, Barbie dolls can go in that box just like Barbados and going the Girl Box. And so that children still learn them. That Barbie doll is pretty much revocable lawyer for girls, it doesn't matter. Some people say you should just get rid of the boxes. But again, it's hard to do because children are born and classify. We'd classify color red, blue, green, yellow when they're born to classify mommy, daddy, I mean, they're going to classify it. They're going to categorize because it's efficient. People want to destroy the box. But some other steric story for another day, but I'm more like expand the box. You do have a interacted that talks about gender. And one of the questions are one of the things that I highlight there is when people try and use gender neutral, gender neutral term. So instead of, you know, her or him, Chinese, they will say that you have, you can have your own opinion on that, but what people tend to answer isn't based on research and may be based on their religious belief. And that's fine if you have it. But I just want to stress that if you teach a child, you know, the most common phrase that people have that if you don't tell children grow, they become confused. When people use gender neutrality, they're not actually saying, don't. They're not saying, well that research isn't saying don't teach tutor that there boy or girl. The idea of gender-neutral terms, it's just suggest, don't. It's opposed to reduce gender stereotyping. We can argue and how you reduce it, but simply saying, you know, children are are they instead of here her doesn't make the child then not be able to identify that they themselves are a boy or a girl. That's their misconception, which might be a lot in our society today, but that's not that, that is not what happens if you use gender-neutral terms. Churches do develop biologically. They know what a boy, girl, they know what a boy is, they know what a girl is denoted a boy looks like, denoted girl looks like they identify as a boy, they identify as a girl. But what will change are what the idea is that there are changed. What being a boy will being a girl means being a boy doesn't mean I have to be tough, aggressive, assertive. It means I can be something else. That's what the research suggests. That doesn't make them confused, nor does it impact sexual orientation, which is another argument that people make when they answer that question. It boys won't know if they liked boys or girls. Gender and sexual orientation are two different things. Alright? And then from there the book talks about parenting. This stuff is pretty clear. They go back into Diana bomb rise parenting styles, which an intro psych, they do mention this a little bit. And typically you're just talking about variations in a lot of different variables that typically they talk about want to control differences. There are cultural variations and authoritarian and authoritative meaning the outcomes. So when you talk about higher levels of aggression, children's social and competence, you are using more of a western sample and middle-class assemble, you see variations and differences. Culturally. People may express warmth and control a little bit differently. So you have to be careful by saying my parents are authoritarian that led me to be this way. We have to take into account the broader cultural picture there. A neglectful is bad. I'm going to keep on with that one. From there that took about contexts which does talk about consistent parenting. That's I was best Typically with parenting styles or does change as people get older and a change between child as well? They do start about corporate punishment. Was people argue about whether he should spank your child or not. This is the chart that the book uses from near the target watch how my treatment, which I don't get too much into, just make sure that you're very familiar with it. I will highlight that these a little bit later. So when they talk about this, really talk about later in development. Obviously been at romantic relationships, not having a four-year-old getting into a romantic relationship, but they will or may say inappropriate things. And so that's what the consequences of abuse are. I don't deal with birth order, sorry. Our Chinese society. That's very important. Going to have a reflection about the changing dynamic and our particular society. And in the book does highlight ethnic variation and culture variation and changing families. So make sure you are little bit aware of that. But in general, the information is not complicated. It is very applicable. And I hope this information was useful. I will highlight with divorce families, you do find about a year to year adjustment and that's even if they're individuals and their relationship, we're excommunication and warm. And so some of that, some of the, some of the negative consequences can be mediated and moderated to a degree by the relationship between the individuals who are getting divorced. Which is actually this one highlights here. Make sure that you're finished reading that. Again, it's on the PowerPoint. Just kept this little bit short or we wanted to pull out some of the gender stuff. And I hope you all have a good day.