WEEK 5 discussion

Mateo 

Mateo is a 13-year-old gay Latino male. He is in eighth grade at a junior high school located in a small rural community in the southern United States. He has lived in this small town since he was 5 years old. Currently, Mateo lives with his grandmother and grandfather and has no siblings. His mother and father are divorced and live in Mexico. He tells you that his parents are not allowed to come back to the United States to see him, but he occasionally visits them during the summers. Mateo’s grandparents own a local lawn care service. He has come out to his grandparents, and he says they are okay that he is gay but are not very supportive of his journey. He loves cooking and is interested in going to culinary school when he gets older. Mateo was molested at 4 years old, before he moved to your town. He is typically shy around others until he gets to know them better.

  

Mateo first arrives at the school counseling office after dealing with a bullying incident. One of his friends encouraged him to talk to the counselor. He tells you his peers have called him derogatory names for as long as he can remember. The name-calling is racial in nature and also directed at his gender presentation. Mateo loves musicals and will often sit with his friends, who are mostly female. They also enjoy musicals and like to act out parts of different scenes during lunch. This sometimes gets the attention of the other students—not in a good way. Today, while acting out The Phantom of the Opera, a kid named Mark called Mateo a “phantom faggot” and started laughing at him in the cafeteria. Everyone at Mark’s table then started laughing, too. Since Mateo is nonconfrontational, he did not respond but has been ruminating about the encounter since. 

Mateo fidgets with his clothes and looks away as he shares the story with you. While he hears mean things often, it still annoyed him that he can’t just be who he is without being made fun of or taunted. He says he is trying not to think about it anymore, but it is hard to let it go. He asks you not to say anything because he doesn’t want to make it a big deal. He doesn’t want others to know he came to your office. He asks you to promise not to call his grandmother. After talking with you, he says he feels better and just needs to get back to class. 

A few weeks later, Mateo returns to your office. He is visibly upset this time, unlike your last encounter, during which he appeared more annoyed than sad or angry. Mateo tells you that things have escalated with Mark. Now the taunts happen daily and no longer just in the cafeteria. Mateo clenches his fists as he talks to you, and tears start to fall down his face. Students have started taking pictures of Mateo with their phones and spreading derogatory memes about him on social media. Coming to school is getting harder for him each day. He reports avoiding certain areas at certain times of the day to avoid run-ins with bullies. He feels a sense of dread each night as he heads off to bed knowing he has school the next day. He reports waking each morning with a sick feeling in his stomach.

When you ask about his grades, he admits they have gone down throughout the last few weeks. He feels very behind in several classes because he is having trouble focusing in class or finishing his homework. While doing his work, he sometimes spaces out, later realizing his time is up and he hasn’t made any progress. He is worried his grandmother is starting to notice and will be worried when she sees his grades. He also worries she will get upset if she learns about the trouble he is causing. Mateo worries that she is older and does not handle stressors well. He does not know what he would do if something happened to her. He just wants to stay close to her. He thinks dropping out of school would make everything better if his grandmother were to homeschool him.