Mark is an upper classman college student at a large university. He is a double major in Psychology and Political Science, is involved with on-campus Associated Student Government, and works two jobs in order to pay for college and essentials like food.
Mark is very focused on his education and career growth at this stage in his life and in the rare free moments he has, he enjoys spending time with his housemates who are his best friends. He isn’t against dating, but he knows that relationships take time and money and is not sure he has the availability or funds for a girlfriend. That being said, he has told his roommates several times that if he finds the right girl, he will make time for her and will budget his earnings accordingly.
Joe, Mark’s roommate, has been trying to set up his friend with a girl for a long time. Joe is under the impression that Mark needs someone to help him enjoy the moment and not just focus on the future. Joe sets Mark up with his girlfriend’s best friend, Laura. He tells Mark to just go to coffee with the girl and see if they mesh. Mark agrees to go to coffee with Laura.
At coffee, Mark struggles to find anything in common with Laura. He thinks she is a nice girl, but he also doesn’t feel that she is someone he wants to date. Her interests and hobbies are very different from Mark, and it even seems like her values are different at times during his talk. Mark enjoys the conversation with her, but he decides he doesn’t want to pursue anything after the coffee.
When leaving the coffee shop, Laura tells Mark she had a good time and would like to get to know him even better. She gives Mark her phone number and asks him if he will call her later. Mark knows he isn’t going to call Laura. He has no interest pursuing her for a relationship and is already so strapped for time. However, he tells her he will call her because he thinks it is better to be nice than to tell her the truth.
Did Mark do the right thing? Was lying to Laura that he’d call her the nice thing to do? Is it just to withhold the truth from someone, even if you think it’s for his or her betterment?
From the Markula Center for Applied Ethics, Santa Clara University,
(http://www.scu.edu/r/ethics-center/ethicsblog/thebigq/19063/Lying-to-be-Nice )
Tom Sullivan 2016
#2 Your Friend on Drugs
You have been friends with Alex since you were first year high school students together. You have shared all sorts of experiences, including dating and first loves, high school parties, athletic teams, friends, getting into college, college experiences (you both went to the same college, although you did not live together. Alex’s family knows you, and you know Alex’s family, well. Alex’s father had some problems with alcohol, when you were both in high school, which caused considerable family friction, but eventually he got some treatment, got sober, and the family stayed together, although there were many difficult, late nights of agony and worry. While you were at college another student died of an overdose, and several of your acquaintances in high school ran into problems with drugs.
For several months now you have not heard as much from Alex, who seems to be making new friends at work, although when Alex does contact you much of the conversation is about the stress of new jobs, relationship woes, and generally “down” topics. You ran into Alex’s mother one day, when you were home, and she asked you to “Look after Alex; something is not right with that child – your oldest friend.” The next Friday you are invited to a party, and it turns out that Alex is going, too, so you are excited to see your old friend.
While you are at the party, you wander upstairs looking for Alex, who someone has told you is in a room at the top of the stairs. When you walk into the room, you see Alex and two other people, standing around a small table, with a mirror on top of the table. There are several lines of a white powder on the glass, and Alex is holding a rolled up dollar bill.
What do you do? What do you say to Alex? What will you tell to Alex’s mother?
Tom Sullivan 2016