Argumentative Essay

Yuchen Mei

AAE221

Response Assignment Sheet

Argument Draft 1, due 4/12/2020 You haven’t labeled this assignment correctly.

C. Arnold

04/15/20

Broad Topic: Is there really “technology addiction”? Or is it merely anxiety that prevent people from focusing on the work?(1,2,3,4)

Body paragraph#1:

Paul Miller believed that most of the claims about technology were wrong. And that existed common myths about technology addiction will be found is wrong. He argued that the claim by some people that technology use leads to pleasure centers of the brain like cocaine and methamphetamine is valid. His research on technology addiction suggested that three percent of internet gamers grow problem characters. In June 2018, Paul Miller among the scholars whose wrote to the World Health Organization (WHO) protesting their decision that internet gaming is not good and that the decision was poorly informed by science. According to Ferguson, WHO ignore the study that other mental health problems. Paul Miller discovered that problem that may be experienced by technology over users is warmer than would occur with mental illness and fades away on its own without treatment. Paul Miller, as a professor who is good at course design, draws his research background in psychology. That is a theory basing its argument on mental processes like memory, reasoning, and attention. His research shows that working memory has information that used in the current moment. And that is highly related to attention. Technology has a bigger effect on concentration. For example, playing different types of video games online can boost the ability to get information which is not very important. It is also true that online media and video games interfere with the ability of kids to pay their attention. Processing of information in children who develop in the digital world is different from children who develop in physical tools. This result is from a study on high-tech and low-tech. All these kids are normally same. However, the study has proposed that high-tech children like learning by watching for an extended period. Therefore, technology has not changed the standard methods in which people’s brains process information.

Rubric for grading

Key for understanding my highlighting in the rubric.

If entire line is highlighted, you have accomplished 100%.

If half highlighted, then you have accomplished 50-70%.

If there is no highlighting, you have not accomplished that task.

· Clearly building your essay from your outline.

· Each idea is well-defined and developed

· Using lexical chains to connect ideas . (pg. 114 Sourcework)

· Pronouns are used clearly . (pg. 115 Sourcework)

· Verb tense is consistent. (pg. 115 Sourcework)

· Thoughtfully using, and not overusing , guiding words that fit the context and meaning of the sentences. (pg. 114 Sourcework)

· Development of the idea(s) includes how, why, when, where, and to what degree.

· There is not an overuse of examples as development.

· Example(s) that is/are used are the best possible choices. They add to the paragraph rather than drive or are the heart of the paragraph. (pg. 111 Sourcework)

· Integration, including proper citation (e.g. [Griffiths, p. 11, ln 2-6])

· Integration is thoughtfully placed inside the paragraph (class handout), and a true effort is shown to blend and harmonize the quotation with the information in the paragraph.

The assignment you have submitted, BP1 of the argumentative essay, which is essay #2 in AAE221, is primarily a summary of Paul Miller’s video. Yet, it is not fully accurate. Paul Miller is not a professor. You are taking information from Miller—the article and Miller—the video simultaneously. The highlighted portion is all very close paraphrase (very similar to the original) of those 2 sources, and it is not blended in with any of your ideas, there is no clear argument style (explore, inform, persuade, make a decision—Flipgrid video lessons), and there is no development of how, why, when, where, nor any usage of lexical chains, old-to-new etc.

55/100