Conflict Essay

profileoliverjiang
C174Ch.9conflict.ppt
Home>English homework help>Article writing homework help>Conflict Essay

9

Managing Conflict
in Relationships

  • “Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”
  • Ronald Reagan

Defining Interpersonal Conflict

  • When people in “I-You” or “I-Thou” relationships have different views, interests, or goals and feel a need to resolve those differences
  • Key components:

Expressed disagreement

Interdependence

The felt need for resolution

Slide*

Conflict and Communication

  • Conflict does not indicate that a relationship is in trouble.
  • Although how people manage conflict does affect relationship health.
  • How we manage conflict may be more important than the resolution.
  • Conflict can deepen insight into our own thoughts and feelings.
  • Conflict can be good for individuals and relationships.
  • Conflict can stimulate individual growth.

*

Principles of Conflict

  • Conflict is natural in relationships
  • Conflict can be managed well or poorly
  • Social groups share the meaning of conflict behaviors (culture, sex, age)

Slide*

Conflict can be Overt or Covert

  • Overt conflict exists when individuals express differences in a straightforward manner.

Discuss a disagreement, honestly express different opinions, or argue heatedly.

  • Covert conflict exists when partners camouflage or deny differences and express them indirectly.
  • Covert conflict is less constructive and less open to resolution than overt conflict.

© Microsoft Gallery. All Rights Reserved.

*

Slide*

Conflict Can Be Managed Well or Poorly

Conflict Orientations:

  • Individual attitudes toward conflict- how we perceive conflict
  • Each approach is appropriate in some situation.
  • Lose-lose – assumes that conflict results in losses for everyone
  • Win-lose – assumes that one person gains at the expense of the other person
  • Win-win – assumes that there are usually ways to resolve differences so that everyone gains

Lose - Lose

Win - Lose

Win - Win

*

Slide*

Conflict Can Be Managed Well or Poorly

  • Exit responses involve leaving or withdrawing.
  • Neglect responses deny or minimize problems.
  • Loyalty responses involve silent allegiance.
  • Voice responses actively address differences.

Conflict Responses:

  • How we react to conflict
  • Overt behavioral replies to conflict
  • Active/passive: does it address conflict/problem.
  • Constructive/deconstructive: how does it affect the relationship.

Destructive

Constructive

Active

Passive

Exit

Neglect

Loyalty

Voice

*

Unproductive Communication Patterns During Conflict

  • The early stages

Communication that fails to confirm individuals

Cross-complaining: respond to a complaint with another complaint

Negative climate and mind reading

  • The middle stages

Kitchen-sinking: argue about everything

Frequent interruptions

  • The later stages

Counterproposals

Excessive metacommunication

“We’re not talking about the real issue”

Constructive Communication Patterns During Conflict

  • The early stages

Communicators confirm each other by recognizing and acknowledging each other’s concerns and feelings

  • The middle stages

Stay focused on main issues (agenda building)

Bracketing: stay on topic and discuss other issues later

Don’t interrupt except for clarification

Recognize and acknowledge each
other’s point of view

  • The later stages

Contracting: build a solution through negotiation and acceptance

Conflict Management Skills

  • Communicate supportively
  • Listen mindfully
  • Own your feelings, thoughts, and issues
  • Check perceptions
  • Look for points of agreement
  • Look for ways to preserve the other’s face
  • Imagine how you will feel in the future

Guidelines for Effective Communication During Conflict

  • Time conflict purposefully

Do not argue in front of family/kids

Cool down before you begin

  • Aim for win-win conflict
  • Honor yourself, your partner, and the the the the relationship
  • Show grace when appropriate

Granting forgiveness, putting aside your needs, or helping others save face when you do not have to be so kind

Constructive vs. Unproductive Communication

Orientations to Conflict

  • Lose-Lose
  • Win-Lose
  • Win-Win

Responses to Conflict

  • The exit response
  • The neglect response
  • The loyalty response
  • The voice response