Conflict Essay

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C174Ch.11romance.ppt

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Committed Romantic Relationships

Relationships between individuals who assume they will be primary and continuing parts of each other’s lives

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guinBnWWuKE&feature=related

Dimensions of Romantic Relationships

Passion:

Describes intensely positive feelings & desire

Commitment:

The intention to remain involved

Intimacy:

Feelings of closeness, connection, & tenderness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_38097&src_vid=nn3I6-DBLJM&list=PL18D11F827286754E&v=1wc_mZ86ypg&feature=iv

Styles of Loving

Primary styles of loving

Eros: powerful, passionate, short-lived

Storge: comfortable, compatible, based on friendship

Ludus: playful love

Secondary styles of loving

Pragma: practical (ludus & storge)

Mania: manic (eros & ludus) (games to test)

Agape: selfless (storge & eros)

5 Languages of LOVE

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn3I6-DBLJM

Growth

Individuality (our needs, goals, love styles)
Invitational communication (hi, how are you?)
Explorational communication (learn about other person)
Intensifying communication (spend more time together; less traditional events)
Revising communication (look at relationship in realistic ways: problems, issues; may end here)
Intimate bonding (you know)

Navigation

The ongoing process of communicating to sustain intimacy over time in the midst of changes.
Couples accommodate each other as context and relationship changes.
Turning Point: an event or conversation that moves a relationship toward or away from intimacy.
Matching Hypothesis: we seek relationships with others who closely match our own values, attitudes, social background and physical attractiveness.

Navigation

Relational culture:

creation of private world of rules, understandings, meanings, and patterns of acting

Placemaking

Creating a comfortable

personal environment that

reflects values, experiences,

interests, & tastes

Navigation

Relationship Rules:

Guide how partners communicate and interpret each other (often unspoken).
Define expectations of certain kinds of relationships.
Provide meanings of particular kinds of communication: silence=anger or hugs=affection.
Explain when/how/where communication is appropriate (shall NOT rules).

Communicating in Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships vary in how they handle privacy

communication privacy management theory

How we handle which information to disclose to others and what to keep private

Partners in a couple jointly own the information about their relationship

We form and manage privacy boundaries as couples and individuals

Communicating in Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships vary in how they handle emotional communication

How we express emotion to each other helps explain the nature of our relationship

How well do you share how you are feeling?

Deals with how satisfied your are with your partner

Respond in a neutral way to negative emotions from your partner

Communicating in Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships vary in how they handle instrumental communication

One of the most common forms of communication in a relationship

Day-to-day tasks require completion

The way in which partners divide everyday tasks often reflects the balance of power in their relationship

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Deterioration

Intrapsychic Processes: beginning of the end, think about negative aspects of relationship.
Dyadic Processes: breakdown of established patterns and rules..

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Deterioration

Social Support Processes: tell others about problems because couple lacks ability to restore intimacy.
Grave Dressing Processes: individually try to make sense of the relationship- what it meant, why it failed, and how it affected us.
Resurrection Processes: moving ahead to a future without the other.

Guidelines for Communication in Romantic Relationships