ENG AW
peggy123
BusinessCommunicationBuildingCriticalSkills6thedi.pdf
Sixth Edition
Kitty O. Locker Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek
ISBN 978-0-07-340326-7 MHID 0-07-340326-1
E A N
We listened to the increasing demand for more fexibility with teaching materials. This modular format was created to cater to the way in which instructors teach, and students learn.
Through the author’s modular approach, instructors have the freedom to customize their text and assignments piece-by-piece. By breaking chapters into more manageable, topic-focused sections, instructors have the fexibility to cover and assign the content they want, in the or- der they want to better suit their individual teaching styles.
Instead of losing students in chapters that are long, unspecifc, or out of order, with this book students move toward an understanding of the foundations and piece together the critical skills needed to become suc- cessful communicators in the Business Communication feld.
www.mhhe.com/lockerbcs6e
www.mhhe.comwww.domorenow.com
Why 30 ModuLar Chapters?
FreedoM • FLexibiLity • FoCused CLassrooM
B u sin
ess C o m m u n icatio
n b u iL d in
g C
r it
iC a L s
K iL L s
L o c ke r
K a c zm
a re k
Sixth Edition Business
Communication
buiLding CritiCaL sKiLLs
M D
D A
L IM
1223268 1/23/13 C Y
A N
M A
G Y
E L
O B
L A
C K
Module 1 Sentence Fragments 18
Module 2 Comma Splices 36
Module 3 Using Idioms 58
Module 4 Using Spell and Grammar Checkers 72
Module 5 Active and Passive Voice 86
Module 6 It’s/Its 100
Module 7 Singular and Plural Possessives 111
Module 8 Plurals and Possessives 122
Module 9 Making Subjects and Verbs Agree 141
Module 10 Dangling Modifers 163
Module 11 Parallel Structure 186
Module 12 Expressing Personality 215
Module 13 Making Nouns and Pronouns Agree 235
Module 14 Matters on Which Experts Disagree 255
Module 15 Run-On Sentences 269
Module 16 Commas in Lists 285
Module 17 Combining Sentences 295
Module 18 Delivering Criticism 311
Module 19 Hyphens and Dashes 323
Module 20 Choosing Levels of Formality 339
Module 21 Mixing Verb Tenses 357
Module 22 Using MLA Style 375
Module 23 Being Concise 390
Module 24 Improving Paragraphs 414
Module 25 Writing Subject Lines and Headings 435
Module 26 Using Details 448
Module 27 Proofreading 472
Module 28 Using You and I 489
Module 29 Using a Dictionary 506
Module 30 Who/Whom and I/Me 513
Why 30 ModuLar Chapters?
FreedoM • FLexibiLity • FoCused CLassrooM
M D
D A
L IM
1223268B 1/23/13 C
Y A
N M
A G
Y E
L O
B L
A C
K
Module 1 Sentence Fragments 18
Module 2 Comma Splices 36
Module 3 Using Idioms 58
Module 4 Using Spell and Grammar Checkers 72
Module 5 Active and Passive Voice 86
Module 6 It’s/Its 100
Module 7 Singular and Plural Possessives 111
Module 8 Plurals and Possessives 122
Module 9 Making Subjects and Verbs Agree 141
Module 10 Dangling Modifers 163
Module 11 Parallel Structure 186
Module 12 Expressing Personality 215
Module 13 Making Nouns and Pronouns Agree 235
Module 14 Matters on Which Experts Disagree 255
Module 15 Run-On Sentences 269
Module 16 Commas in Lists 285
Module 17 Combining Sentences 295
Module 18 Delivering Criticism 311
Module 19 Hyphens and Dashes 323
Module 20 Choosing Levels of Formality 339
Module 21 Mixing Verb Tenses 357
Module 22 Using MLA Style 375
Module 23 Being Concise 390
Module 24 Improving Paragraphs 414
Module 25 Writing Subject Lines and Headings 435
Module 26 Using Details 448
Module 27 Proofreading 472
Module 28 Using You and I 489
Module 29 Using a Dictionary 506
Module 30 Who/Whom and I/Me 513
Why 30 ModuLar Chapters?
FreedoM • FLexibiLity • FoCused CLassrooM
M D
D A
L IM
1223268B 1/23/13 C
Y A
N M
A G
Y E
L O
B L
A C
K
Confirming pages
Business Communication B U I L D I N G C R I T I C A L S K I L L S
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd iloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd i 24/01/13 9:59 PM24/01/13 9:59 PM
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd iiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd ii 24/01/13 9:59 PM24/01/13 9:59 PM
Confirming pages
Sixth Edition
Kitty O. Locker
The Ohio State University
Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek
Columbus State Community College
Business Communication B U I L D I N G C R I T I C A L S K I L L S
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd iiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd iii 24/01/13 9:59 PM24/01/13 9:59 PM
Rev.confirming pages
BUSINESS COMMUNICATION: BUILDING CRITICAL SKILLS, SIXTH EDITION
Published by McGraw-Hill/Irwin, a business unit of The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., 1221 Avenue of
the Americas, New York, NY, 10020. Copyright © 2014 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights
reserved. Printed in the United States of America. Previous editions © 2011, 2009, and 2007. No part of this
publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval
system, without the prior written consent of The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., including, but not limited to,
in any network or other electronic storage or transmission, or broadcast for distance learning.
Some ancillaries, including electronic and print components, may not be available to customers outside the
United States.
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 DOW/DOW 1 0 9 8 7 6 5 4 3
ISBN 978-0-07-340326-7
MHID 0-07-340326-1
Senior Vice President, Products & Markets: Kurt L. Strand Vice President, Content Production & Technology Services: Kimberly Meriwether David Managing Director: Paul Ducham Senior Brand Manager: Anke Braun Weekes Executive Director of Development: Ann Torbert Development Editor II: Kelly I. Pekelder Executive Marketing Manager: Michael Gedatus Content Project Manager: Pat Frederickson Senior Buyer: Michael R. McCormick Lead Designer: Matthew Baldwin Interior Design: Matthew Baldwin Cover Design: Laurie Entringer Cover Images: ©Stockbyte/Getty Images/Design Pics/Blend Images/Ingram Publishing/AGE Fotostock Lead Content Licensing Specialist: Keri Johnson Photo Researcher: Teri Stratford/Six Cats Research Media Project Manager: Joyce J. Chappetto Typeface: 10/12 Times Roman Compositor: Laserwords Private Limited Printer: R. R. Donnelley
All credits appearing on page or at the end of the book are considered to be an extension of the copyright page.
CIP has been applied for.
The Internet addresses listed in the text were accurate at the time of publication. The inclusion of a website
does not indicate an endorsement by the authors or McGraw-Hill, and McGraw-Hill does not guarantee the
accuracy of the information presented at these sites.
www.mhhe.com
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd ivloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd iv 25/01/13 12:24 PM25/01/13 12:24 PM
Confirming pages
As revision to the third edition of BCS neared completion, Dr. Kitty O. Locker passed away. She was a mentor for many years, and I will cherish all that she taught me. Kitty’s contributions to teaching and to business communication are far too extensive for proper recognition here. So, it is simply on behalf of the students and colleagues whose lives she touched that I make this special dedication to my friend.
Kitty, you are missed.
Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek
To my husband, Bob Mills, with love. —Kitty O. Locker
For my father, who always believed in me. —Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd vloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd v 24/01/13 9:59 PM24/01/13 9:59 PM
Confirming pages
vi
Kitty O. Locker was an Associate Professor of English at The Ohio State University, where she taught courses in workplace discourse and research methods. She had taught
as Assistant Professor at Texas A&M University and the University of Illinois at Urbana.
She received her BA from DePauw University and her MA and Ph.D. from the Univer-
sity of Illinois at Urbana.
She had also written Business and Administrative Communication (7th ed., McGraw-Hill/Irwin, 2005) and The Irwin Business Communication Handbook: Writing and Speaking in Business Classes (1993), and co-edited Conducting Research in Business Communication (1988).
Her consulting clients included URS Greiner, Abbott Laboratories, the Ohio Civil Ser-
vice Employees Association, AT&T, and the American Medical Association. She devel-
oped a complete writing improvement program for Joseph T. Ryerson, the nation’s largest
steel materials service center.
In 1994–95, she served as President of the Association for Business Communication
(ABC). From 1997 to 2000, she edited ABC’s Journal of Business Communication. She received ABC’s Outstanding Researcher Award in 1992 and ABC’s Meada Gibbs Out-
standing Teacher Award in 1998.
Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek is a Professor of English at Columbus State Community College and a consultant to business and industry. He teaches courses in business communication,
composition, creative writing, freshman experience, film and literature, globalization and
culture, and public relations, and he co-advises the Phi Theta Kappa chapter at Columbus
State. Steve has also taught at The Ohio State University and Ohio Dominican University.
He received an MA in English and BAs in journalism and English from Ohio State.
Steve has presented papers at conferences of the Association for Business Communica-
tion (ABC), the College English Association of Ohio (CEAO), the Conference on College
Composition and Communication, and the Northeast Modern Language Association. He
has served on ABC’s Two-Year College Committee and its Diversity Committee, as well
as on the CEAO Executive Council. His freelance articles have appeared in a variety of
print and web publications, and he is a book reviewer for The Ohioana Quarterly and The Columbus Dispatch.
Steve’s consulting clients include Nationwide Insurance, The Ohio Historical Society,
The Ohio Association of Historical Societies and Museums, The Ohio Museums Asso-
ciation, Red Capital Mortgage Group, United Energy Systems, The Thomas Moyer for
Chief Justice of Ohio Campaign, and Van Meter and Associates. He also advises individual
clients on job search and interviewing techniques and is a reader for the College Board’s
Advanced Placement Examination in English Language.
Prior to joining Columbus State, Steve managed staff development and information for
the Franklin County, Ohio, Commissioners. He has received an Award of Excellence from
the National Association of County Information Officers, as well as awards for his writing
projects.
About the Authors
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd viloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd vi 24/01/13 9:59 PM24/01/13 9:59 PM
Confirming pages
About the Authors vii
August 20, 2012
Dear Student:
Business Communication: Building Critical Skills helps you build the writing, speaking, and listening skills that are crucial for success in the 21st-century workplace.
As you read,
• Look for the answers to each module’s questions. Check your memory with the Instant Replays and your understanding with the Summary of Learning Objectives at the end of the chapter.
• Note the terms in bold type and their definitions. Use the rewind and fast forward icons to go to discussions of terms.
• Read the Building a Critical Skill boxes carefully. Practice the skills both in assignments and on your own. These skills will serve you well for the rest of your work life.
• Use items in the lists when you prepare your assignments or review for tests.
• Use the examples, especially the paired examples of effective and ineffective
communication, as models to help you draft and revise. Comments in red ink signal
problems in an example; comments in blue ink note things done well.
• Read the Site to See and FYI boxes in the margins to give you more resources on the Internet and interesting facts about business communication.
When you prepare an assignment,
• Review the PAIBOC questions in Module 1. Some assignments have “Hints” to help probe
the problem. Some of the longer assignments have preliminary assignments analyzing the
audience or developing reader benefits or subject lines. Use these to practice portions of
longer documents.
• If you’re writing a letter or memo, read the sample problems in Modules 10, 11, and 12 with
a detailed analysis, strong and weak solutions, and a discussion of the solutions to see how
to apply the principles in this book to your own writing.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd viiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd vii 24/01/13 9:59 PM24/01/13 9:59 PM
Confirming pages
viii About the Authors
• Use the Polishing Your Prose exercises to make your writing its best.
• Remember that most problems are open-ended, requiring original, critical thinking. Many of
the problems are deliberately written in negative, ineffective language. You’ll need to reword
sentences, reorganize information, and think through the situation to produce the best
possible solution to the business problem.
• Learn as much as you can about what‘s happening in business. The knowledge will not only
help you develop reader benefits and provide examples but also make you an even more
impressive candidate in job interviews.
• Visit the Online Learning Center (http://www.mhhe.com/bcs6e) to see how the resources presented there can help you. You will find updated articles, resume and letter templates,
links to job hunting websites, and much more.
Communication skills are critical to success in both the new economy and the old. Business Communication: Building Critical Skills can help you identify and practice the skills you need. Have a good term—and a good career!
Cordially,
Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek
August 20, 2012
Page 2
‘ ‘
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd viiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd viii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
About the Authors ix
August 20, 2012
Dear Professor:
Business Communication: Building Critical Skills (BCS) is here to help make your job teaching business communication a little bit easier.
Its modular design makes adapting BCS to 5–, 8–, 10–, or 15–week courses simpler. And, with videos, new media tools, and supplements, it is easy to adapt to Internet courses. The features
teachers and students find so useful are also here: anecdotes and examples, easy-to-follow lists,
integrated coverage of international business communication, analyses of sample problems, and a
wealth of in-class exercises and out-of-class assignments.
But BCS takes these features a step further. In each module you’ll also find
• Polishing Your Prose boxes, featuring straightforward instructions to help students correct common writing errors, as well as exercises to test what they know.
• Building a Critical Skill boxes, showing students how to apply what they know in the business world.
• Site to See boxes that invite students to use the Internet to get timely information available in cyberspace.
• Instant Replays to reinforce concepts students are reading. • Fast Forward/Rewind indicators to help students make connections between concepts in different modules.
• FYI boxes that provide some lighthearted information about business communication.
This sixth edition is thoroughly updated based on the latest research in business communication.
You’ll find many new problems and examples, new Polishing Your Prose exercises, and new Sites
to See. Your students will benefit from timelines that identify the steps in planning, writing, and
revising everything from seven-minute e-mail messages to memos taking six hours to reports
taking 30 business days. Cases for Communicators at the end of each unit provide individual and
group activities.
BCS also includes a comprehensive package of supplements to help you and your students.
• An Instructor’s Resource Manual with sample syllabi, an overview of each module, suggested lecture topics, in-class exercises, examples, discussion and quiz questions,
and solutions to problems.
• A Test Bank featuring hundreds of questions for use in quizzes, midterms, and final examinations—with answers. The Test Bank is in a computerized format (Mac or Windows) that allows you to create and edit your own tests.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd ixloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd ix 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
x About the Authors
• Videos showing real managers reacting to situations dealing with cultural differences, active listening, working in teams, and the virtual workplace.
• An Online Learning Center (http://www.mhhe.com/bcs6e) with self-quizzes for students, a bulletin board to communicate with other professors, current articles and research in
business communication, downloadable supplements, links to professional resources, and
more.
You can get more information about teaching business communication from the meetings and
publications of The Association for Business Communication (ABC). Contact
Dr. Betty S. Johnson
Executive Director
Association for Business Communication
PO Box 6143
Nacogdoches, Texas
75962-6143
Telephone: 936-468-6280
Fax: 936-468-6281
E-mail: [email protected]
Web: www.businesscommunication.org
We’ve done our best to provide you with the most comprehensive but easy-to-use teaching tools
we can. Tell us about your own success stories using BCS. We look forward to hearing from you!
Cordially,
Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek
August 20, 2012
Page 2
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd x 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
About the Authors xi
We’ve listened to your feedback on what you like and what you want improved in BCS, keeping as much of the text intact as possible while also making sure BCS6e accurately reflects changes in the workplace and in the field of business communication. In particu-
lar, Module 13 has been renamed “E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology” and
updated to include more discussion on using social networking tools, and Modules 27 and
28 integrate social media into job application documents. Throughout the book, you’ll find
hundreds of elements revised or all new, including FYIs, Sites to See, BCS boxes, Prob-
lems and Exercises, Polishing Your Prose exercises, and Cases for Communicators.
Module 1: This critical foundation module underscores the importance of excellent com- munication skills in the workplace. For this edition, it includes a new opener reflecting on
the tough economic realities of today’s workplace and how the ability to read and write
well gives professionals an edge on the competition. There are also new FYIs on Carnegie
Speech’s language training for a global market; vital 21st-century job skills that include
oral and written communication; the slow gains in reading skills among elementary and
middle school students (the next wave of college students and young professionals);
degrees of study and workplace success that correlate in surprising ways; a typo that may
have caused stock market chaos; and the most literate cities in the United States. A new
Site to See invites students to test their interpersonal skills, and the BCS box has been
updated to include information on start-up companies and a new Apple photo. A new end-
of-module problem and new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 2: Revisions to the module opener reinforce the importance of audience analysis, and some elements have been moved to improve the flow of the module. New FYIs include
discussions on an offensive ad by Nivea that failed to properly analyze its audience; errors
by FEMA and subsequent messages that made problems worse for disaster victims; the
travails of test takers and a talking pineapple; a politician’s lack of awareness of how audi-
ences might view his multimillion-dollar income; public criticism by P. J. Crowley that
cost him his job; and the value of role-playing to achieve buy-in from audiences. The BCS
box has been updated to note that Zappos was named by CNN/Money as one of the 100 Best Companies to Work For. A new end-of-module problem and all new Polishing Your
Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 3: In an ever-shrinking world, this module’s overview of the elements of diversity and culture that help shape the workplace becomes even more critical for 21st-century
professionals. New FYIs in Module 3 focus on the rise of interracial marriages in the
United States; the value of touch to staying healthy; self-definition by Millennials in the
workplace; Nike’s sexist Olympic T-shirt design; women now scoring higher than men on
IQ tests; ads that present women and minorities offensively; Baby Boomers being targeted
by con artists; and the lack of diversity in U.S. television and what is being done about it.
A new Site to See offers reviews and links to apps that can make travel easier. New end-of-
module problems and new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 4: This module’s revised opener notes that while the increased pace of the work- place has brought increased pressure to compose faster and faster, writers must still take
care to compose effectively. New FYIs discuss how what constitutes revisions changes
according to audience; Mortgage Resolution Partners’ plan to keep more people in their
homes; errant e-mails that terrified hundreds of employees into thinking they were fired;
and tips from experts on overcoming procrastination. Site to See addresses have been
updated, and a new Site to See invites visitors to take beginning and advanced Microsoft
Word tutorials. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
New and Improved Coverage in BCS6e!
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xi 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xii About the Authors
Module 5: The module opener has been revised to emphasize that the principles of good design still apply to ever-changing social media, and the BCS box has been updated to ref-
erence Google Docs. Two new FYIs discuss the importance of document design—the first
being a Pew Charitable Trust study on how checking account documents are too confusing
to follow, and the second on how large, multi-touch screens are part of the next wave of
technological changes in how we use and format documents. Site to See addresses have
been updated, and a new Site to See offers tips on using PowerPoint slides in presenta-
tions. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates to the module, and the
new Case for Communicators for Unit 1 examines how poor proofreading caused financial
headaches for Old Navy.
Module 6: Modules 6, 7, and 8 detail the cornerstones of good business communication: you-attitude, positive emphasis, and reader benefits. They are briefer than some of the ear-
lier modules but are meant to be read as a collective. For Module 6, examples throughout
have been updated to reflect more current dates. One new FYI features a study that found
a link among prejudices, low intelligence, and social conservatism, while another notes
the lack of you-attitude among employees at Goldman Sachs, who, among other things,
referred to clients as “muppets.” A new Site to See invites students to test their Emotional
Intelligence. New end-of-module problems and new Polishing Your Prose exercises round
out the updates.
Module 7: Understanding the role of positive emphasis in business communication—and contrasting it with negative points of view—is vital to composing effective messages.
Revisions to this module include FYIs on the disturbing findings that for the first time,
most Americans do not believe today’s young people will have better lives than their par-
ents; the effect of optimism on both physical and financial health; the news that happier
people make better workers; the role of resilience in helping people cope with stress and
life’s challenges; tips on making video apologies; and updates on failed apologies and on
the happiest states in the United States. New end-of-module problems and new Polishing
Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 8: Developing good reader benefits can challenge students, so new FYIs focus on creative and interesting ways that benefits affect people. These FYIs discuss how the
intrinsic value of self-image may be more important to people than even money; how bou-
tique grocery stores provide online shopping and home delivery benefits to customers; the
correlation between more education and longer life expectancy; and the counterintuitive
patterns of liars and cheaters being unfazed by potential consequences. New Polishing
Your Prose exercises round out the updates to the module, and the new Case for Com-
municators for Unit 2 examines how poor proofreading resulted in embarrassment for The New York Times.
Module 9: While the formats for memos and letters remain unchanged, technology is influencing how such documents are created and sent. Thus, new FYIs reflect on cloud
technology making it easier to store documents but with the added challenge of making
sure formats remain intact; indecipherable handwriting on letters and packages thwarted
by Post Office scanning equipment; and CEOs Mike Duke and Tom Barrack being embar-
rassed by the memos they sent to employees that went viral. Examples throughout this
module have been updated to reflect current dates. New Polishing Your Prose exercises
round out the updates.
Module 10: This module has been renamed “Informative and Positive Messages” and all examples have been updated to reflect more current dates. In addition, FYIs now include
the best out-of-office e-mail reply of all time; a movie trailer that uses a customer’s rant to
remind others of its no-talking/no-texting policy; chocolate, indeed, being able to change
a person’s mood for the better; customers tweeting complaints and how companies can
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
About the Authors xiii
better manage their image; the earliest appearance of the now-popular word “information”;
and the effect of nearly 25% of the world workers’ depression on productivity. A new end-
of-module problem and all new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 11: New FYIs include how what most people would consider bad news actu- ally helped shooting victim Petra Anderson; the surprising answer to who was behind a
campaign to spread negative information about Google; the potential negative effect on
reputation from working at home; types of “toxic” bosses in the workplace; workers want-
ing honesty from managers and supervisors; a gay instructor fired by Facebook for daring
to give a chatty employee a look; Lego’s attempts to cater to girls; and the most educated
employees also facing the most stress on the job. Sites to See addresses have been updated,
and examples throughout this module reflect more current dates. A new end-of-module
problem and all new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 12: Though we’re surrounded by persuasive messages every day, understanding them and then creating our own effective ones require careful effort. For better flow in the
discussion, some elements of this module have been moved, and new FYIs discuss online
bullying persuading people to help the victims; former Xerox CEO Anne Mulcahy almost
being persuaded by sexist salespeople to go somewhere else; “birthers” refusing to be per-
suaded by President Obama’s birth certificate; branding’s effect on persuading consumers;
the “like me bias” in performance appraisals; and tips for writing effective sales letters.
Revisions to existing FYIs involve product placement in James Bond movies, and Block-
buster Video CEO Jim Keyes’ public criticism of Netflix failing to persuade consumers.
A new end-of-module problem and all new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the
updates.
Module 13: Of all the modules in BCS6e, this one has been revised the most extensively, reflecting the rapid changes that come with our highly technological age. For starters, it has
been renamed “E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology,” and the body copy has
been tweaked to better integrate technology into the discussion while examples have been
updated to reflect more current dates. In particular, the discussion on using social network-
ing tools has been expanded, and a new photo coordinates with changes to Facebook’s
current design. Some elements have been moved to improve the flow of the discussion.
New FYIs discuss the ever-increasing use of smartphones for e-mail and web use; a cyber-
stalking investment manager’s 1,600-word plea for another date; a study of more than
977 e-mail messages revealing that shorter subject lines attract more clicks; Pew Research
Center’s findings that most Americans prefer vocal communication to texting, while a
Nielsen survey shows that 13- to 17-year-olds send and receive 10 times as many texts as
people ages 45 to 54; signs that the popularity of blogging among young people is waning;
tips to use social networking in business; offensive tweets that got their authors in trouble;
Latino and Hispanic Americans leading the way in embracing web technology; and a host
of tips for better cell phone etiquette. An existing FYI includes more information on e-mail
etiquette, and a new Site to See offers 20 tips on using Facebook in business. A new end-
of-module problem and new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates to the
module, and the new Case for Communicators for Unit 3 examines the problems United
Airlines faced when a computer glitch booked flights to Asia at an incorrect price.
Module 14: This module focuses on the nuts and bolts of using grammar and punctua- tion effectively. New FYIs reveal how 45% of employers surveyed say they are increas-
ing training to improve grammar and other skills of employees; how CEO Kyle Wiens
requires all job applicants to his companies to take a grammar test; and commentator
Andy Rooney’s aversion to apostrophes. There is also an addition to an existing mod-
ule regarding a cable TV charge of $16.4 million, and Site to See addresses have been
updated. New end-of-module problems and new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out
the updates.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xiiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xiii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xiv About the Authors
Module 15: Because choosing the right word is as much an art as it is a skill, new FYIs present examples of real-world applications—as well as misapplications: how U.S. presi-
dents have managed to misspeak in public; what food label language might actually mean;
idiomatic phrases that baffle non-native speakers of English; and the limitations of spell-
checkers with common errors. The BCS box has been revised to challenge readers to think
about the implications of a study that shows “mean” men do better in the workplace than
nicer ones. New end-of-module problems and new Polishing Your Prose exercises round
out the updates.
Module 16: New FYIs in this module include the arrogant style of a college student seek- ing a summer job; missed opportunities for message revision that resulted in athletes being
insulted or being dismissed from the field of play; buzzwords on LinkedIn that are over-
used; and venerable critic Roger Ebert’s Facebook page being censored for posts during
a heated exchange. An existing FYI has been updated to include the 2012 winners of a
wacky warning label contest, and the BCS box caption has been updated to note Johnnetta
B. Cole’s current position as chair of the institute that bears her name. New end-of-module
and new Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates to the module, and the new
Case for Communicators for Unit 4 examines how a misspelling on a key road sign proved
an embarrassment for the state of Ohio.
Module 17: This module features new FYIs on how listeners today need a shift in stimula- tion about every 20 minutes; how students learning foreign languages did better after train-
ing in listening skills; and how archetypes for bad listeners, including Preamblers, such as
the hosts of CNN’s Crossfire were called out by guest Jon Stewart for using the show as a platform to give speeches on their points of view. Site to See addresses and the caption for
the photo of Elizabeth Gonzalez-Gann have also been updated.
Module 18: New FYIs to help students better understand how to be effective on work teams discuss the hidden costs of being on a team; how introverts may suffer from the
effects of groupthink; how social networking media is making us lonelier; how to use hip
hop as a team-building exercise; ways to keep “digital nomads” connected with the work-
place; and how a diverse team of students presented a business plan at Florida Atlantic
University. The existing FYI on bad bosses has been revised to include the results of two
recent polls. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 19: A new module opener underscores how meetings are viewed by many employ- ees, as well as the importance of choosing whether to hold a meeting in the first place. New
FYIs focus on how many hours CEOs spend in meetings; using chocolate and other cre-
ative ways to keep meetings on track; tips to be an effective meeting participant; caveats
for teleconferencing; companies, such as Nutrisystem, Symantec, and Herman Miller, that
are holding annual meetings online; and Twist, an app from investor Bill Lee that helps
track where meeting-goers are. One FYI has been revised to include information on using
tablet PCs and other tools to make meetings more interactive, and Site to See addresses
have been updated. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 20: New FYIs include Kathy Caprino’s tips to avoid mistakes in speeches; gaffes by a university president; Microsoft’s Kirill Tatarinov’s quick recovery from a technical
glitch during a presentation; a poetry recitation that went horribly wrong; Steve Carell’s
effective use of humor during a graduation speech; a criminal’s conviction being upheld
because of his silence; and the importance of rehearsing before a speech. A new Site to See
showcases PowerPoint examples and other resources. New Polishing Your Prose exercises
round out the updates to the module, and the new Case for Communicators for Unit 5
looks at the role of charisma in leadership and whether people can be trained to be more
charismatic.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xivloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xiv 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
About the Authors xv
Module 21: This module on proposals and progress reports features new FYIs on how feasibility studies on sports arenas show they are money losers for taxpayers; the London
Business School’s John W. Mullins’ advice on writing a good business plan; how people
are using Twitter to submit business plans; how some successful businesses nevertheless
had their business plans lose in-class competitions; the effect of discourse communities on
sales proposals; and the results of Apple’s annual Supplier and Responsibility Report. Site
to See addresses have been updated, and new Sites to See include sample recommendation
reports from the Centers for Disease Control, tips for writing proposals from the Small
Business Association, the New York City school system’s progress reports, and progress
reports from the World Health Organization on the fight against HIV/AIDS. Examples
throughout the module have been updated to reflect more current dates. New Polishing
Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 22: Because research is so critical today, a new module opener stresses the impor- tance of research to business and industry, as well as the need to make sure information
resources are trustworthy. Minor tweaks have been made to the body copy. New FYIs
include a discussion on Splunk, the first “Big Data” company to go public; how a Florida
man convicted of murder got a new trial because a stenographer erased records inadver-
tently; unusual findings from research, such as how the more debt college students have,
the higher their self-esteem; the high number of fake accounts on Facebook; estimates
of how much data is consumed annually online; racist tweets that got two Olympians
expelled from the London games; and the amount of money spent by corporations for
employee training despite a lack of research on its effectiveness. New Sites to See include
Survey Monkey and the Purdue OWL website. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round
out the updates.
Module 23: Some elements of this module have been reorganized to improve flow. New FYIs include reports from companies questioning the effectiveness of Facebook ads;
how younger people are choosing to rent a wide variety of items rather than own them;
a Georgetown University report that despite some college majors being more employable
than others, research still shows a college degree is worth it; employers scouring credit
reports on job applicants; “pink slime” and its effects on consumer perceptions; and how
disorganization—not just in documents but in general—costs companies. New Polishing
Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 24: The sample student report in this module has been revised to reflect more cur- rent dates. One new FYI discusses an innovative annual report from Austria Solar that uses
light to make text on its otherwise blank pages visible. Another new FYI gives examples
of how report data helps organizations to strategize. Orbitz, for instance, found that Apple
users spend as much as 30% more per night on hotels than PC users. Site to See addresses
have been updated, and new Sites to See include Graphis’s Top 100 Annual Reports win-
ners and a copy of NASA’s Education Recommendation Report. A new Polishing Your
Prose exercise rounds out the updates.
Module 25: A new module opener emphasizes the importance of charts, graphs, clip art, and other images in this increasingly visual age. New FYIs include technology that allows
people to write using eye movements; tips for effective visual note taking; websites like
Pinterest and Flickr that are changing the way we share information; how Ambassador
Gary Locke became a hit in China for carrying his own bags and getting his own coffee;
hidden messages in corporate logos; and the challenges from corporate branding on the
2012 Olympics. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates to the module,
and the new Case for Communicators for Unit 6 looks at how waterless car washes are
transforming that industry in the Middle East, as well as implications for such businesses
in the United States.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xvloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xv 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xvi About the Authors
Module 26: The module opener has been revised to discuss the challenges of finding a job in a bad economy as well as how getting started early and using social networking tools
like LinkedIn and Facebook can help. Some elements have been reorganized to improve
flow. New FYIs include revelations on how despite younger people embracing information
technology, relatively few of them choose it as a career field; location being a major factor
in job applicant trends; how unemployment is affecting college graduates and how many
jobs that don’t require degrees are going unfilled; the top master’s degrees for income
potential and which career requiring a graduate degree women find most satisfying; apps
for people looking for a job; states making it illegal to bar the unemployed from applying
for jobs; how employees in the middle of the income pack are vulnerable to downsizing;
and how unemployment is affecting different generations. New Polishing Your Prose exer-
cises round out the updates.
Module 27: Revisions to the module opener note how technology may be changing how résumés look and are submitted, underscoring the need to adapt to the employer’s expec-
tations. Minor tweaks have been made to improve body copy. Examples throughout the
module have been updated to reflect more current dates, and several examples now include
social networking page addresses. New FYIs discuss a college student who sent a photo of
Nicolas Cage instead of her résumé to a prospective employer; résumé gaffes like listing
“phishing” as a hobby; how companies use tracking systems to check on applicants’ social
networking pages; the proliferation of lies on résumés; and how recruiters and others use
Facebook and Google to screen applicants.
Module 28: The module opener reminds job applicants to use the process employers want, such as a brief e-mail message in lieu of a formal letter in some cases. Examples through-
out the module have been updated to reflect more current dates. New FYIs include discus-
sions on a 3,000-word rejection letter sent to job applicants that went viral, and debates
among experts as to whether the job application letter is going away. New Sites to See pro-
vide job application letter examples from Virginia Polytechnic Institute, State University,
and Monster. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates.
Module 29: New FYIs in this module cover employers wanting Facebook passwords from applicants; UBS AG’s stringent dress codes; leaving emotional baggage behind in job
interviews; a survey that revealed 70% of hiring managers have experienced odd behavior
from interviewees; unusual stress interview situations; how students coming from homes
that appreciate in value are more likely to go to more expensive colleges; LinkedIn’s com-
pilation of worst questions asked of female job applicants; advice from Jason Fried for hir-
ing managers to screen out applicants who ask “how” instead of “why” questions; and tips
for making the most of virtual job interviews. New Polishing Your Prose exercises round
out the updates.
Module 30: Revisions to this module’s opener remind students to think in terms of careers rather than simply jobs, and to be self-reliant but not mercenary. New FYIs include Jenny
Foss’s advice on staying in touch with job interviewers through such resources as Link-
edIn; planning carefully for career and early retirement; and how today’s employees are
more likely to have many short-term jobs in their careers than previous generations did.
Examples throughout the module have been updated to reflect more current dates. New
Polishing Your Prose exercises round out the updates to the module, and the new Case for
Communicators for Unit 7 looks at how traditional Arts and Sciences programs at universi-
ties are starting to incorporate entrepreneurial and other job-related coursework into their
curriculums.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xviloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xvi 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xvii
All writing is in some sense collaborative. This book in particular builds upon the ideas
and advice of teachers, students, and researchers. The people who share their ideas in con-
ferences and publications enrich not only this book but also business communication as a
field.
People who contributed directly to the formation of this sixth edition include the
following:
Frederick C. Alm, Hudson Valley Community College
Roxanne Bengelink, Kalamazoo Valley Community College
Danielle Blesi, Hudson Valley Community College
Mary Young Bowers, The W.A. Franke College of Business-Northern Arizona University
Marjorie Coffey, Oregon State University
Donna R. Everett, Morehead State University
Frances M. Hale, Columbus State Community College
Anna Haney-Withrow, Florida Gulf Coast University
Elizabeth F. Heath, Florida Gulf Coast University
Norma Johansen, Scottsdale Community College Business Institute
James Katt, University of Central Florida
Mark Mabrito, Purdue University Calumet
Marcia A. Metcalf, Northern Arizona University
Lori Oldham, San Diego City College
Miri Pardo, St. John Fisher College
Richard D. Parker, Ph.D., High Point University
Renee Rallo, Florida Gulf Coast University
Marcel M. Robles, Eastern Kentucky University
Kathy Standen, Fullerton College
Sharron Stockhausen, Anoka Ramsey Community College
Laura Alderson, The University of Memphis
Paula E. Brown, Northern Illinois University
Debra Burelson, Baylor University
Donna Carlon, University of Central Oklahoma
Elizabeth Christensen, Sinclair Community College
Dorinda Clippinger, University of South Carolina—The Moore School of Business
Linda Di Desidero, University of Maryland University College
Melissa Fish, American River College
Acknowledgments
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xviiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xvii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xviii Acknowledgments
Catherine Flynn, University of Maryland University College
Dina Friedman, University of Massachusetts Amherst
Canday A. Henry, Westmoreland County Community College
Sara Jameson, Oregon State University
Mark Knockemus, Northeastern Technical College
Gary Kohut, University of North Carolina at Charlotte
Anna Maheshwari, Schoolcraft College
Kenneth R. Mayer, Cleveland State University
William McPherson, IUP
Joyce Monroe Simmons, Florida State University
Gregory Morin, University of Nebraska at Omaha
Christine E Rittenour, University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Teeanna Rizkallah, California State University, Fullerton
Joyce W. Russell, Rockingham Community College
Stacey Short, Northern Illinois University
Natalie Sillman-Webb, The University of Utah
Vicki Stalbird, Sinclair Community College
Jan Starnes, The University of Texas at Austin
Bonnie Rae Taylor, Pennsylvania College of Technology
William Wardrope, University of Central Oklahoma
Mark Alexander, Indiana Wesleyan University
Laura Barnard, Lakeland Community College
Trudy Burge, University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Jay Christensen, California State University-Northridge
Dorinda Clippinger, University of South Carolina
Linda Cooper, Macon State College
Patrick Delana, Boise State University
Donna Everett, Morehead State University
Melissa Fish, American River College
Linda Fraser, California State University-Fullerton
Mary Ann Gasior, Wright State University
Sinceree Gunn, University of Alabama, Hunstville
Diana Hinkson, Texas State University-San Marcos
Paula Holanchock, Flagler College
Stanley Kuzdzal, Delta College
Bill McPherson, Indiana University of Pennsylvania
Julianne Michalenko, Robert Morris University
Joyce Russell, Rockingham Community College
Janine Solberg, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Carolyn Sturgeon, West Virginia State University
Bonnie Taylor, Pennsylvania College of Technology
Jie Wang, University of Illinois at Chicago
William Wardrope, University of Central Oklahoma In addition, the book continues to benefit from the contributions of the following people:
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xviiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xviii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
Acknowledgments xix
Linda Landis Andrews, University of Illinois at Chicago
Laura Barnard, Lakeland Community College
Barry Belknap, University of Saint Francis
Bruce Bell, Liberty University
Mary Lou Bertrand, SUNY-Jefferson
Pam Besser, Jefferson Community College
Martha Graham Blalock, University of Wisconsin
Stuart Brown, New Mexico State University
David Bruckner, University of Washington
Joseph Bucci, Harcum College
Donna Carlon, University of Central Oklahoma
Martin Carrigan, University of Findlay
Bill Chapel, Michigan Technological University
Dorinda Clippinger, University of South Carolina
Janice Cooke, University of New Orleans
Missie Cotton, North Central Missouri College
Christine Cranford, East Carolina University
James Dubinsky, Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University
Ronald Dunbar, University of Wisconsin—Baraboo/Sauk County
Kay Durden, University of Tennessee at Martin
Sibylle Emerson, Louisiana State University in Shreveport
Donna Everett, Morehead State University
Patricia Garner, California State University, Los Angeles
Kurt Garrett, University of South Alabama
Shawn Gilmore, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Dorothy Gleckner, Bergen Community College
Jeff Goddin, Kelley School of Business
Geraldine Harper, Howard University
Rod Haywood, Indiana University—Bloomington
Jeanette Heidewald, Kelley School of Business
Pashia Hogan, Northeast State Technical Community College
Paula Kaiser, University of North Carolina—Greensboro
Gary Kohut, University of North Carolina at Charlotte
Linda LaDuc, University of Massachusetts Amherst
Luchen Li, Kettering University
Sandra Linsin, Edmonds Community College
Jeré Littlejohn, University of Mississippi
Richard Malamud, California State University, Dominguez Hills
Kenneth Mayer, Cleveland State University
Susan Smith McClaren, Mt. Hood Community College
Lisa McConnell, Oklahoma State University
Vivian McLaughlin, Pierce College
Susan Mower, Dixie State College of Utah
Elwin Myers, Texas A&M University—Corpus Christi
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xixloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xix 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xx Acknowledgments
Judy O’Neill, University of Texas at Austin
Patricia Palermo, Drew University
Richard Parker, Western Kentucky University
Clare Parsons, University of Maryland College Park
Patricia Payette, SUNY—Morrisville State College
Rebecca Pope, Iowa State University
Sherilyn Renner, Spokane Community College
Brenda Rhodes, Northeastern Junior College
Janice Schlegel, Tri-State University
Virginia Schmitz, University of Richmond
Heidi Schultz, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Mageya Sharp, Cerritos College
Karl Smart, Central Michigan University
Carol Smith, Fort Lewis College
Harold Snyder, East Carolina University
Charlene Sox, Appalachia State University
Janet Starnes, University of Texas at Austin
Robert Stubblefield, North Carolina Wesleyan University
Judith Stuhlman, SUNY—Morrisville State College
Susan Sullivan, Oakland City University
Jean Thornbrugh, Langston University—Tulsa
Marcia Toledo, Pacific Union College
Scott Troyan, University of Wisconsin—Madison
Deborah Valentine, Emory University
John Waltman, Eastern Michigan University
Jie Wang, University of Illinois at Chicago
Jean West, California State University—Hayward
Mary Williams, University of Central Oklahoma
Sonia Wilson-Pusey, Estfield College
For having provided encouragement and assistance in past editions, we also thank
Donna Kienzler, Iowa State University
Alisha Rohde, The Ohio State University We thank Kitty’s husband, Robert S. Mills, who in past editions provided a sounding
board for ideas, encouragement, and, when deadlines were tight, weekly or nightly rides
to Federal Express.
Thanks goes to Marith Adams for a keen eye, cheerful disposition, and excellent
proofreading ability.
Steve thanks for encouragement over the years friends and colleagues too numerous
to mention in their entirety here. Of special note are Marith Adams, Bruce Ardinger,
Carol Baker, Daniel Barnes, J. D. Britton, Saretta Burke, Lucy Caswell, Jen Chapman,
Laura Dachenbach, Elizabeth Dellapa, Ann Frazier, Janet Gething, Kate Hancock, David
Hockenberry, Charlie Hottel, Marilyn Howard, Sheila Kapur, Lisa Mackall-Young,
Valeriana Moeller, Susan Moran, Donna Pydlek, Crystal Robinson, Maggie Sanese, Bud
Sawyer, Wilma Schneider, David Smith, Mike Snider, Jim Strider, Joe Taleroski, and, of
course, his coauthor, friend, and mentor, Kitty O. Locker. Special thanks also go to his
mother, Myo, and sister, Susan, for love, strength, and guidance—and for putting up with
him in ways that can only be described as truly remarkable.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xx 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxi
Building a Critical Skill Building a Critical Skill boxes
explain 30 skills necessary for job
success. Topics include Dealing with
Discrimination, Leading by Listening,
and Negotiating Salary and Benefits.
Module Openers Modules open with short objectives that
concisely convey the important concepts of
the module. The module learning objectives
map the topics and motivate students to
learn the material. The module addresses
each learning objective with a thorough
coverage of each topic and teaches real-
world skills important in business.
The 6th edition of Business
Communication: Building Critical
Skills reinforces the essential skills
of good communication. The
contents consist not of chapters
but of 30 skill-centered modules
that can be taught in any order.
Please take a moment to page
through the highlights of this 6th
edition to see the helpful tools that
reinforce this flexible approach
to business communication
education.
38
I n any organization, you’ll work with people whose backgrounds differ from yours. Residents of small
towns and rural areas have different notions of friendliness than do people from big cities. Califor-
nians may talk and dress differently than people in the Midwest. The cultural icons that resonate for
Baby Boomers may mean little to teenagers. The world continues to become globalized.
As Americans become busier and globalization continues to change the workplace, consumer
services performed by employees in other countries are becoming more common. For instance, jet-
setting U.S. executives can have personal assistants from Ask Sunday—based in New York but with
most of its workforce in India—handle everything from ordering local takeout meals to sending birth-
day greetings to friends and family. With 10,000 subscribers, TutorVista provides tutoring in a range
of K–12 subjects from 600 tutors based in India. 1 “Offshoring” of jobs is expected to continue, with
Forrester Research, Inc., predicting that American employers will move about 3.3 million white-collar
service jobs overseas in the next five years. 2
LO 3-1 Define culture through context.
LO 3-2 Compare and contrast dimensions of culture.
LO 3-3 Apply strategies for international communication success.
LO 3-4 Identify differences among generations.
LO 3-5 Apply strategies for workplace dis- crimination solutions.
LO 3-6 Apply strategies for bias-free documents.
Module 3 explores the many facets of communicating across cultures in business. After completing
the module, you should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Communicating Across Cultures 3
Module
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 38 19/12/12 7:36 PM
Understanding What Your Organization Wants LO 2-1
Building a Critical Skill
Michelle wondered whether her boss was sexist. Everyone else
who had joined the organization when she did had been pro-
moted. Her boss never seemed to have anything good to say
about her or her work.
Michelle didn’t realize that, in her boss’s eyes, she wasn’t
doing good work. Michelle was proud of her reports; she
thought she was the best writer in the office. But her boss val-
ued punctuality, and Michelle’s reports were always late.
Just as every sport has rules about scoring, so, too, do work-
places have rules about what “counts.” Even in the same indus-
try, different organizations and different supervisors may care
about different things. One boss circles misspelled words and
posts the offending message on a bulletin board for everyone
to see. Other people are more tolerant of errors. One company
values original ideas, while another workplace tells employees
just to do what they’re told. One supervisor likes technology
and always buys the latest hardware and software; another is
technophobic and has to be persuaded to get needed upgrades.
Succeeding in an organization depends first on understand-
ing what “counts” at your organization. To find out what counts
in your organization:
• Ask your boss, “What parts of my job are most important?
What’s the biggest thing I could do to improve my work?”
• Listen to the stories colleagues tell about people who have
succeeded and those who have failed. When you see pat-
terns, check for confirmation: “So his real problem was that
he didn’t socialize with co-workers?” This gives your col-
leagues a chance to provide feedback: “Well, it was more
than never joining us for lunch. He didn’t really seem to care
about the company.”
• Observe. See who is praised, who is promoted.
Understanding, by the way, can and should be a two-way
street. Online shoe retailer Zappos.com listened to employees
who said they wanted a workplace that is more accommodat-
ing to their lifestyle. The result was a nap room for a quick
snooze and social events that include after-hours mixers and
lighthearted “parades” in the office. With $1 billion in sales in
2009 alone, the company also encourages its 1,500 employees
to tweet about Zappos and hosts free daily tours of its Las Vegas
headquarters. The work still gets done. In 2012, Zappos was
named one of CNNMoney’s 100 Best Companies to Work For.
Source: Morley Safer, “The ‘Millennials’ Are Coming,” 60 Minutes, November 11, 2007; and Jake Chessum, “How to Make Customers Love
You,” Inc., 2010. Downloaded on February 12, 2010, at http://www.inc. com/ss/how-to-make-customers-love-you ; and “100 Best Companies
to Work For,” CNNMoney, February 6, 2012, http://money.cnn.com/ magazines/fortune/bestcompanies/2012/snapshots/11.html .
Who is my audience? LO 2-2
▶ More people than you might think!
In an organizational setting, a message may have five separate audiences. 1
1. The primary audience will decide whether to accept your recommendations or will act on the basis of your message. You must reach the decision maker to fulfill your
purposes.
2. The secondary audience may be asked to comment on your message or to implement your ideas after they’ve been approved. Secondary audiences can also include lawyers
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 20 19/12/12 8:25 PM
Guided Tour
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxi 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxii
Site to See Site to See boxes show websites that
provide more information about topics
in the modules. You’ll find The Home
for Abused Apostrophes, Word Games
on the Web, How to Use Parliamentary
Procedure, and Before and After
Versions of PowerPoint Slides.
FYI FYI sidebars in each module include
fun factoids such as which messages
busy executives notice, errors that
spell-checkers won’t catch, and even
how students are being paid to study
on company time.
School writing often follows the traditional essay form, with a thesis statement up front,
paragraphs of evidence, and a final concluding paragraph.
• Business communication is organized to meet the psychological needs of the reader.
Most often, the main point comes up front (▶▶ Modules 10–12).
Style
• The style for school writing is often formal. Big words and long sentences and
paragraphs are often rewarded.
• The style for business communication is friendly, not formal. Short words and a mix of
sentence and paragraph lengths are best (▶▶ Modules 15 and 16).
Document Design
• School writing often rewards long paragraphs. Papers are often double spaced, with no
attention to visual design.
• Businesspeople want to be able to skim documents. Headings, lists, and single-spaced
paragraphs with double spacing between paragraphs help readers find information
quickly (▶▶ Module 5).
Visuals
• Except for math, construction, and engineering, few classes expect writing to contain
anything other than words.
• Business writers are expected to choose the most effective way to convey information.
Even a one-page memo may contain a table, graph, or other visual. You’ll be expected to
be able to use computer programs to create graphs, visuals, and slides for presentations
(▶▶ Modules 5, 20, and 25).
What does communication accomplish? LO 1-3
The National Assessment of
Adult Literacy, a study by the
U.S. Department of Education,
showed that Mississippi has
improved adult literacy in every
one of its counties. Some
other states, however, saw
an increase in adult illiteracy,
and one in seven U.S. adults
is challenged to read anything
more complex than a child’s
picture book.
Source: Greg Toppo, “Literacy Study: 1 in 7 Adults are Unable
to Read this Story,” USAToday.
January 8, 2009, http://
www.usatoday.com/news/
education/2009-01-08-adult-
literacy_N.htm .
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 6 19/12/12 3:55 PM
munication and have different attitudes toward oral and written channels (◀◀ Module 2, p. 24).
12 As Figure 3.1 shows, low-context cultures favor direct approaches and may see
indirectness as dishonest or manipulative. The written word is seen as more important than
oral statements, so contracts are binding but promises may be broken. Details matter. Busi-
ness communication practices in the United States reflect these low-context preferences.
How does culture affect business communication? LO 3-2
▶ In every single aspect!
Culture influences every single aspect of business communication: how to show politeness
and respect, how much information to give, how to motivate people, how loud to talk, even
what size paper to use.
The discussion that follows focuses on national and regional cultures. But business com-
munication is also influenced by the organizational culture and by personal culture, such
as gender, race and ethnicity, social class, and so forth. As Figure 3.2 suggests, all of these
from cultures around the globe.
Source: Megan Lindo, “Cosmopolitan Meal, or a
Whopper?” The Chronicle of Higher
Education. February 29, 2008, A6.
Site to See
Go to
http:// travelandcultureapps.com/
for reviews and links to apps
that can make travel easier.
Go to
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 40 19/12/12 7:37 PM
understand the social and political relationships among readers, and negotiate
conflicts orally rather than depending solely on the document. These writers were
then able to think about content as well as about organization and style, appeal to
common grounds (such as reducing waste or increasing productivity) that several
readers shared, and reduce the number of revisions needed before documents
were approved. 5
Thinking about the content, layout, or structure of your document can also give you
ideas. For long documents, write out the headings you’ll use. For anything that’s under
five pages, less formal notes will probably work. You may want to jot down ideas you
can use as the basis for a draft. For an oral presentation, a meeting, or a document with
lots of visuals, try creating a storyboard , with a rectangle representing each page or unit. Draw a box with a visual for each main point. Below the box, write a short caption
or label.
Letters and memos will go faster if you choose a basic organizational pattern before you
start. Modules 10, 11, and 12 give detailed patterns of organization for the most common
kinds of letters and memos. You may want to customize those patterns with a planning guide 6 to help you keep the “big picture” in mind as you write. Figure 4.3 shows planning guides developed for specific kinds of documents.
Instant Replay
How Experts Write
Expert writers
• Realize that the first draft
can be revised.
• Write regularly.
• Break big jobs into small
chunks.
• Have clear goals focusing
on purpose and audience.
• Have several different
strategies to choose from.
• Use rules flexibly.
• Wait to edit until after the
draft is complete.
I R
How Experts
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 63 12/18/12 10:17 PM
Instant Replay Instant Replay sidebars in the
margins of each module reinforce
key concepts presented earlier in the
module. Topics include Strategies for
Active Listening, Guidelines for Page
Design, Organizing Bad News to
Superiors, Responding to Criticism,
and How to Create a Summary of
Qualifications for a Résumé.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Rev.confirming pages
xxiii
Cases for Communicators Unit-ending cases provide both
individual and team activities to
solve communication challenges
faced by real-world companies and
organizations. Topics include the
costs of bad grammar, an alternative
to banner ads on the web, and the
role of improv in corporate training
programs.
Unit 2 Cases for Communicators
Keep on Reading with Us
In December 2011, The New York Times, one of the nation’s oldest and most respected newspapers, had to scramble to recover from an
e-mail message mistakenly sent out that promised a 50% discount
for 16 weeks on a subscription. The offer had been intended only
for a few hundred people who had recently cancelled subscriptions
but was instead sent to 8.6 million e-mail addresses.
Shortly after, the Times tweeted: “If you received an e-mail today about cancelling your NYT subscription, ignore it. It’s not
from us.” Of course, the newspaper did send the original e-mail
message.
Damage from the error included many people calling or writing
in to take advantage of the offer, including some who already had
a subscription but threatened to cancel unless the deal was hon-
ored. The Times did initially honor the discount, but later that day stopped giving out discounts. The results included angry customers
and a parody Twitter account poking fun at the mistake.
Individual Activity
Imagine you are in the Marketing Department of The New York Times and you have been selected to work on its campaign to regain subscriber confidence. The Times knows it has a strong product with a long history of satisfied readers. However, company execu-
tives fear that some subscribers may avoid renewing their subscrip-
tions in the future, especially those subscribers who weren’t able to
take advantage of the erroneous e-mail offer. In addition, potential
new subscribers may have been scared off by the negative publicity
surrounding the debacle.
To achieve its goal, the Marketing Department has decided to
e-mail a different offer to these customers. The company will use
the e-mail addresses already in its database for renewals but will
pay for additional e-mail addresses for potential customers. The
e-mail message, tailored to each customer group, will only be sent
to those customers who did not renew with the previous offer.
Subscribers will receive the following benefits:
• A free two-week subscription to its home-delivered print edi-
tion, along with a collectible holiday edition to anyone who
chooses to start or renew a subscription for three months.
• A free four-week subscription to its home-delivered print edi-
tion, along with a collectible holiday edition and a free Times coffee mug to anyone who chooses to start or renew a subscrip-
tion for six months.
• For either subscription, readers will get access to premium fea-
tures in the online version of the Times (The online version is
free but provides limited access to stories and other features,
such as a searchable database of older articles.)
While an e-mail message will go out to all of the customers
affected, the Times would like to segment the e-mail messages for subscribers more likely to respond to one offer versus the other. To
identify them, consider the following questions:
• What intrinsic and extrinsic benefits are inherent in a subscrip-
tion to The New York Times? What might customers gain from these benefits?
• What are the demographic and lifestyle characteristics of poten-
tial customers?
• What needs, feelings, or concerns might be motivating
customers?
• Why would customers pay for a print edition of The New York Times when a lot of the same information can be found free at the newspaper’s website?
Identify as many different potential customer groups as you can
think of, noting at least one intrinsic and one extrinsic benefit that
each group can expect from purchasing a Times subscription. Give enough detail in your customer descriptions so that the
Marketing Department can use the information to guide its choice
of appeals to customers.
Group Activity
Combine the results of your list with those of your classmates to
generate a comprehensive list of customers and benefits. Then, as a
group, select five customer groups on which to focus. Identify the
benefits that will be in the e-mail message to potential subscribers
and develop these benefits using psychological description.
Think of how the e-mail message will convince potential cus-
tomers they should purchase your company’s products.
Write the e-mail message: Be sure to:
• Include at least one intrinsic and one extrinsic benefit for each
customer group.
• Justify negative information, focusing on what the reader can
do rather than on limitations.
• Omit unnecessary negative information.
• Use you-attitude.
• Talk about the reader, not the company.
Source: “NY Times Offers Discounts in Mistaken E-Mail Gaffe,” December 28, 2011, http://finance.yahoo.com/news/nytimes-offers-
discounts-mistaken-email-gaffe-224635047.html .
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 123 19/12/12 8:52 PM
100 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
With an apostrophe, it’s is a contraction meaning it is. Without an apostrophe, its is a possessive pronoun meaning belonging to it.
Contractions always use apostrophes:
It is → it’s I have → I’ve You will → you’ll They are → they’re
Possessive pronouns (unlike possessive nouns) do not use
apostrophes:
His / hers / its
My / mine / our / ours
Your / yours
Their / theirs
Because both it’s and its sound the same, you have to look at the logic of your sentence to choose the right word. If you could sub-
stitute it is, use it’s. Decide whether to use contractions (such as it’s, they’re, you’re,
we’re, should’ve, and so forth) based on audience, purpose, and organizational culture. Some audiences find contractions too infor-
mal; others find a lack of contractions off-putting or unfriendly. If
the purpose of your document is to persuade while being casual,
then contractions make sense. If, however, documents have sig-
nificant legal ramifications, contractions may seem flip. Your
organization may have its own conventions, too—check past
correspondence to see what is preferred.
In general, more formal documents such as résumés and long
research reports use few (or no) contractions. Contractions are often
OK in e-mail, memos, and letters in which you want a conversa-
tional tone, such as a fund-raising letter for the local animal shelter.
Exercises
Choose the right word in the set of brackets.
1. [It’s/Its] a good idea to keep paper copies of documents, as
electronic files can be lost or corrupted.
2. Halle told us [it’s/its] going to be at least five business days
before we can expect a reply to our Singapore proposal.
3. Though the app has been thoroughly tested, [it’s/its] a good
idea to test it one more time, just to be certain.
4. Because the Halloran Company values innovation, [it’s/its]
vital that creative people have the opportunity to realize their
potential there.
5. Each department should make sure [it’s/its] personnel files are
kept confidential.
6. We believe [it’s/its] a sign of good faith that our customers
have stayed with us in tough economic times.
7. Patel and Associates is dedicated to making sure [it’s/its]
clients receive the best service possible.
8. In her keynote address, Sophia told us that an organization is
strong only because [it’s/its] employees are strong.
9. While [it’s/its] impossible to be prepared for all emergencies,
[it’s/its] prudent to have a general disaster plan.
10. To keep up with [it’s/its] competition, a company needs
to make certain [it’s/its] social networking pages are kept
up-to-date.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
It’s/Its
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 100 12/17/12 7:43 PM
Polishing Your Prose Polishing Your Prose exercises
conclude each module. They
may be assigned in any order
throughout the term. Students
can do the odd-numbered
exercises for practice and check
the answers at the end of the
book. Answers to even-numbered
exercises, which can be assigned
for homework or used for quizzes,
are included in the Instructor’s
Resource Manual.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxiiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxiii 25/01/13 12:27 PM25/01/13 12:27 PM
Confirming pages
xxiv
Support Materials
Business Communication: Building Critical Skills, 6e, includes a
variety of resources to help instructors prepare and present the
material in this textbook more effectively.
Instructor’s Manual This is one of the few textbooks for which the authors write the
Instructor’s Manual. This ensures that the instructor materials represent
the textbook’s content and support instructor needs. Each chapter
includes the learning objectives, module overview, key lecture points,
teaching tips, in-class exercises, thumbnail images of corresponding
PowerPoint slides, and answers to textbook assignments.
Test Bank and EZ Test Prepared by the author, the test bank includes more than 1,800 true/
false, multiple-choice, short-answer, and fill-in-the blank questions.
Each question identifies the answer, difficulty level, and Bloom’s
Taxonomy level coding. Each test question is also tagged to the
learning objective it covers in the chapters and the AACSB Learning
Standard it falls under.
EZ Test Online McGraw-Hill’s EZ Test Online is a flexible and easy-to-use electronic
testing program. The program allows instructors to create tests from
book-specific items, accommodates a wide range of question types,
and enables instructors to even add their own questions. Multiple
versions of a test can be created, and any test can be exported for use
with course management systems such as WebCT and Blackboard
or with any other course management system. EZ Test Online is
accessible to busy instructors virtually anywhere via the web, and the
program eliminates the need for them to install test software. For more
information about EZ Test Online, please see the website at www.
eztestonline.com.
PowerPoint Presentation Slides Each PowerPoint file has more than two dozen slides relating to the
chapter, including two or more graphics from the textbook and notes
offering tips for using the slides. The PowerPoint slides have been
prepared by the authors, allowing seamless integration between the
slides and the Instructor’s Manual.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxivloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxiv 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxv
Assurance of Learning Ready Many educational institutions today are focused on the notion of assurance
of learning, an important element of some accreditation standards. Business
Communication: Building Critical Skills is designed specifically to support
your assurance of learning initiatives with a simple, yet powerful solution.
Each test bank question for Business Communication: Building
Critical Skills maps to a specific chapter learning outcome/objective listed
in the text. You can use our test bank software, EZ Test, and EZ Test
Online, or in Connect Business Communication you can easily query for
learning outcomes/objectives that directly relate to the learning objectives
for your course. You can then use the reporting features of EZ Test to
aggregate student results in a similar fashion, making the collection and
presentation of assurance of learning data simple and easy.
AACSB Statement The McGraw-Hill Companies is a proud corporate member of AACSB
International. Understanding the importance and value of AACSB
accreditation, Business Communication: Building Critical Skills, 6e
recognizes the curricula guidelines detailed in the AACSB standards
for business accreditation by connecting selected questions in [the text
and/or the test bank] to the six general knowledge and skill guidelines
in the AACSB standards.
The statements contained in Business Communication: Building
Critical Skills, 6e are provided only as a guide for the users of this
textbook. The AACSB leaves content coverage and assessment within
the purview of individual schools, the mission of the school, and the
faculty. While Business Communication: Building Critical Skills, 6e,
and the teaching package make no claim of any specific AACSB
qualification or evaluation, we have within Business Communication:
Building Critical Skills, 6e, labeled selected questions according to the
six general knowledge and skills areas.
McGraw-Hill and Blackboard McGraw-Hill Higher Education and Blackboard
have teamed up. What does this mean for you?
1. Your life, simplified. Now you and your students can access McGraw-Hill’s Connect
and Create right from within your Blackboard
course—all with one single sign-on. Say
goodbye to the days of logging in to multiple applications.
2. Deep integration of content and tools. Not only do you get single sign-on with Connect and Create, but you also get deep
integration of McGraw-Hill content and content engines right in
Blackboard. Whether you’re choosing a book for your course or
building Connect assignments, all the tools you need are right
where you want them—inside Blackboard.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxvloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxv 24/01/13 10:21 PM24/01/13 10:21 PM
Confirming pages
xxvi
3. Seamless gradebooks. Are you tired of keeping multiple grade- books and manually synchronizing grades into Blackboard? We
thought so. When a student completes an integrated Connect
assignment, the grade for that assignment automatically (and
instantly) feeds into your Blackboard grade center.
4. A solution for everyone. Whether your institution is already using Blackboard or you just want to try Blackboard on your own, we
have a solution for you. McGraw-Hill and Blackboard can now
offer you easy access to industry-leading technology and content,
whether your campus hosts it or we do. Be sure to ask your local
McGraw-Hill representative for details.
McGraw-Hill CampusTM
McGraw-Hill CampusTM is a new one-stop teaching and learning
experience available to users of any learning management system.
This institutional service allows faculty and students to enjoy
single sign-on (SSO) access to all McGraw-Hill Higher Education
materials, including the award-winning McGraw-Hill Connect
platform, from directly within the institution’s website. McGraw-
Hill CampusTM provides faculty with instant access to all McGraw-
Hill Higher Education teaching materials (e.g., eTextbooks, test
banks, PowerPoint slides, animations and learning objects, etc.), allowing
them to browse, search, and use any instructor ancillary content in our
vast library at no additional cost to the instructor or students. Students
enjoy SSO access to a variety of free items (e.g., quizzes, flash cards,
narrated presentations, etc.) and subscription-based products (e.g.,
McGraw-Hill Connect). With this program enabled, faculty and students
will never need to create another account to access McGraw-Hill products
and services. Learn more at www.mhcampus.com.
McGraw-Hill Customer Care Contact Information At McGraw-Hill, we understand that getting the most from new tech-
nology can be challenging. That’s why our services don’t stop after
you purchase our products. You can e-mail our Product Specialists
24 hours a day to get product-training online. Or you can search our
knowledge bank of Frequently Asked Questions on our support web-
site. For Customer Support, call 800-331-5094, e-mail hmsupport@ mcgraw-hill.com, or visit www.mhhe.com/support. One of our Tech- nical Support Analysts will be able to assist you in a timely fashion.
McGraw-Hill’s Expanded Management Asset Gallery! For Business Communication McGraw-Hill/Irwin is excited to now provide a one-stop-shop for our
wealth of assets, making it super quick and easy for instructors to
locate specific materials to enhance their courses.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxviloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxvi 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxvii
Manager’s Hot Seat This interactive, video-based application puts students in the
manager’s hot seat and builds critical thinking and decision-making
skills and allows students to apply concepts to real managerial
challenges. Students watch as 15 real managers apply their years
of experience when confronting unscripted issues such as bullying
in the workplace, cyber loafing, globalization, inter-generational work
conflicts, workplace violence, and leadership vs. management.
Self-Assessment Gallery Unique among publisher-provided self-assessments, our 23 self-
assessments provide students with background information to ensure
that they understand the purpose of the assessment. Students test
their values, beliefs, skills, and interests in a wide variety of areas
allowing them to personally apply chapter content to their own lives
and careers.
Every self-assessment is supported with PowerPoints and an
instructor manual in the Management Asset Gallery, making it easy for
the instructor to create an engaging classroom discussion surrounding
the assessments.
Online Learning Center (OLC) www.mhhe.com/lockerbcs6e
Find a variety of online teaching and learning tools that are
designed to reinforce and build on the text content. Students
will have direct access to the learning tools, while instructor
materials are password-protected.
All of the following can be accessed within the Management Asset
Gallery:
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxviiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxvii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxviii
eBook Options eBooks are an innovative way for students to save money and
to “go green.” McGraw-Hill’s eBooks are typically 40% off the
bookstore price. Students have the choice between an online
and a downloadable CourseSmart eBook.
Through CourseSmart, students have the flexibility to
access an exact replica of their textbook from any computer
that has Internet service, without plug-ins or special software, via the
online version or to create a library of books on their hard drive via the
downloadable version. Access to the CourseSmart eBooks lasts for
one year.
FEATURES CourseSmart eBooks allow students to highlight, take notes, organize
notes, and share the notes with other CourseSmart users. Students can
also search for terms across all eBooks in their purchased CourseSmart
library. CourseSmart eBooks can be printed (five pages at a time).
MORE INFO AND PURCHASE Please visit www.coursesmart.com for more information and to purchase access to our eBooks. CourseSmart allows students to try
one chapter of the eBook, free of charge, before purchase.
Binder Ready Loose-Leaf Text This full-featured text is provided as an option for the financially
strapped student. It is a full 4-color text that’s three-hole punched
and made available at a discount to students. It is also available in a
package with Connect Plus.
Create Craft your teaching resources to match the way you teach! With
McGraw-Hill Create, www.mcgrawhillcreate.com, you can easily rearrange chapters, combine material from other content sources,
and quickly upload content you have written, like your course syllabus
or teaching notes. Find the content you need in Create by searching
through thousands of leading McGraw-Hill textbooks. Arrange your
book to fit your teaching style. Create even allows you to personalize
your book’s appearance by selecting the cover and adding your name,
school, and course information. Order a Create book and you’ll receive
a complimentary print review copy in three to five business days or
a complimentary electronic review copy (eComp) via e-mail in about
one hour. Go to www.mcgrawhillcreate.com today and register. Experience how McGraw-Hill Create empowers you to teach your
students your way.
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxviiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxviii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxix
Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages 1
1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 2 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 19 3 Communicating Across Cultures 38 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 59 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 73
Unit Two Creating Goodwill 89
6 You-Attitude 90 7 Positive Emphasis 101 8 Reader Benefits 112
Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing 113
9 Formats for Letters and Memos 114 10 Informative and Positive Messages 143 11 Negative Messages 164 12 Persuasive Messages 187 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 217
Unit Four Polishing Your Writing 237
14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 238 15 Choosing the Right Word 256 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 271
Unit Five Interpersonal Communication 287
17 Listening 288 18 Working and Writing in Teams 297 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings 312 20 Making Oral Presentations 325
Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals 342
21 Proposals and Progress Reports 343 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 359 23 Short Reports 377 24 Long Reports 392 25 Using Visuals 416
Brief Contents
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxixloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxix 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxx Brief Contents
Unit Seven Job Hunting 437
26 Researching Jobs 438 27 Résumés 449 28 Job Application Letters 474 29 Job Interviews 491 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers 507
Glossary 516
Polishing Your Prose 524
Endnotes 528
Credits 535
Index 537
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxx 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
Contents xxxi
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 2
Will I really have to write? 5
Don’t I know enough about communication? 5
What does communication accomplish? 6
The Importance of Listening, Speaking, and Interpersonal Communication 8
The Purposes of Messages in Organizations 8
How much does correspondence cost? 8
What makes a message effective? 9
How should I analyze business communication
situations? 10
Building a Critical Skill Thinking Creatively 11
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 19
Building a Critical Skill Understanding What Your Organization Wants 20
Who is my audience? 20
Why is my audience so important? 22
Audience and PAIBOC 22 Audience and the Communication Process 23
What do I need to know about my audience(s)? 24
Analyzing Individuals and Members of Groups 24 Analyzing People in Organizations 27
Now that I have my analysis, what do I do with it? 29
What if my audiences have different needs? 30
How do I reach my audience(s)? 31
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 38 What is “culture”? 40
How does culture affect business communication? 40
Values, Beliefs, and Practices 41 Nonverbal Communication 41 Body Language 42 Space 43 Time 44 Oral Communication 45 Writing to International Audiences 48
There are so many different cultures! How can I know
enough to communicate? 48
Are differences among generations changing the workplace
and how we communicate? 49
Building a Critical Skill Dealing with Discrimination 50
How can I make my documents bias-free? 51
Making Language Nonsexist 51 Making Language Nonracist and Nonagist 53 Talking about People with Disabilities and Diseases 53 Choosing Bias-Free Photos and Illustrations 54
Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 59 Planning 60 Writing 60 Revising 60
Does it matter what process I use? 60
I don’t have much time. How should I use it? 61
What planning should I do before I begin writing or
speaking? 62
What is revision? How do I do it? 64
Can a grammar checker do my editing for me? 65
I spell-check. Do I still need to proofread? 66
How can I get better feedback? 66
Can I use form letters? 67
Building a Critical Skill Revising after Feedback 68
How can I overcome writer’s block and procrastination? 69
Contents
Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages 1
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxi 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxxii Contents
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 73
How should I design paper pages? 74
Use White Space 74 Use Headings 74 Limit the Use of Words Set in All Capital
Letters 75 Use No More than Two Fonts in a Single
Document 75
Decide Whether to Justify Margins Based on the Situation and the Audience 77
How should I design presentation slides? 78
How should I design web pages? 79
How do I know whether my design works? 79
Building a Critical Skill Using Computers to Create Good Design 80
When should I think about design? 80
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 126 How should I set up letters? 127
Building a Critical Skill Creating a Professional Image, 1 130
What courtesy titles should I use? 132
When You Know the Reader’s Name and Gender 136 When You Know the Reader’s Name but Not the
Gender 136 When You Know Neither the Reader’s Name Nor
Gender 136
How should I set up memos? 137
Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing 125
Unit Two Creating Goodwill 95
Module 6 You-Attitude 90 How do I create you-attitude in my sentences? 91
1. Talk about the Reader, Not about Yourself 91 2. Refer to the Reader’s Request or Order Specifically 92 3. Don’t Talk about Feelings, Except to Congratulate or
Offer Sympathy 92 4. In Positive Situations, Use You More Often than I. Use
We When It Includes the Reader 92 5. Avoid You in Negative Situations 93
Does you-attitude basically mean using the word you? 94
I’ve revised my sentences. Do I need to do anything else? 94
Building a Critical Skill Seeing Another Point of View 97
Module 7 Positive Emphasis 101 How do I create positive emphasis? 102
1. Avoid Negative Words and Words with Negative Connotations 102
2. Focus on What the Reader Can Do Rather than on Limitations 104
3. Justify Negative Information by Giving a Reason or Linking It to a Reader Benefit 105
4. If the Negative Is Truly Unimportant, Omit It 105 5. Bury the Negative Information and Present It
Compactly 105
Building a Critical Skill Using Positive Emphasis
Ethically 106
Why do I need to think about tone, politeness, and
power? 106
What’s the best way to apologize? 108
Module 8 Reader Benefits 112 Why do reader benefits work? 113
How do I identify reader benefits? 113
1. Think of Feelings, Fears, and Needs that May Motivate Your Reader. Then Identify Features of Your Product or Policy that Meet Those Needs 113
2. Identify the Features of Your Product or Policy. Then Think How These Features Could Benefit the Audience 114
How detailed should each benefit be? 115
How do I decide which benefits to use? 117
1. Use at Least One Benefit for Each Part of Your Audience 117
2. Use Intrinsic Benefits 117 3. Use the Benefits You Can Develop Most Fully 118
Building a Critical Skill Matching the Benefit to the Audience 119
What else do reader benefits need? 120
Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing 125
Unit Two Creating Goodwill 95
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
Contents xxxiii
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 143
What’s the best subject line for an informative or positive
message? 144
Making Subject Lines Specific 145 Making Subject Lines Concise 145 Making Subject Lines Appropriate for the Pattern of
Organization 145
How should I organize informative and positive
messages? 145
When should I use reader benefits in informative and
positive messages? 148
What are the most common kinds of informative and
positive messages? 150
Transmittals 150 Confirmations 151 Summaries 151 Adjustments and Responses to Complaints 151 Thank-You and Congratulatory Notes 152
How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module? 152
Problem 153 Analysis of the Problem 153
Building a Critical Skill Writing a Goodwill Ending 154 Discussion of the Sample Solutions 154
Module 11 Negative Messages 164 What’s the best subject line for a negative message? 165
How should I organize negative messages? 165
Giving Bad News to Customers and Other People Outside Your Organization 166
Building a Critical Skill Thinking about the Legal Implications of What You Say 168
Giving Bad News to Superiors 171 Giving Bad News to Peers and Subordinates 172
When should I consider using a buffer? 172
What are the most common kinds of negative
messages? 174
Rejections and Refusals 174 Disciplinary Notices and Negative Performance
Appraisals 175 Layoffs and Firings 175
How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module? 175
Problem 176 Analysis of the Problem 177 Discussion of the Sample Solutions 178
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 187 What is the best persuasive strategy? 188
What is the best subject line for a persuasive
message? 189
How should I organize persuasive messages? 190
Writing Direct Requests 191 Organizing Problem-Solving Messages 191
How do I identify and overcome objections? 193
What other techniques can make my messages more
persuasive? 196
Build Credibility 196 Build Emotional Appeal 196 Use the Right Tone 197
Building a Critical Skill Building Common Ground 198 Offer a Reason for the Reader to Act Promptly 198
What are the most common kinds of persuasive
messages? 199
Orders 199 Collection Letters 199 Performance Appraisals 200 Letters of Recommendation 202
How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module? 203
Problem 203 Analysis of the Problem 204 Discussion of the Sample Solutions 204
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 217
How should I set up e-mail messages? 219
What kinds of subject lines should I use for e-mail
messages? 220
Subject Lines for Informative and Positive E-Mail Messages 222
Subject Lines for Negative E-Mail Messages 222 Subject Lines for Persuasive E-Mail Messages 223
Should I write e-mail messages the same way I write
paper messages? 223
Writing Positive and Informative E-Mail Messages 223 Writing Negative E-Mail Messages 223 Writing Persuasive E-Mail Messages 224
Building a Critical Skill Managing Your Time 225
What e-mail “netiquette” rules should I follow? 226
How and when should I use attachments? 226
What style should I use when writing for the web? 226
Can I use blogging on the job? 227
Can I use social networking tools for business
situations? 228
Facebook and MySpace 229 Spoke and LinkedIn 229 Twitter 230 YouTube 230
What other technologies use the Internet? 230
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxiiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxiii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
xxxiv Contents
Module 17 Listening 288 What do good listeners do? 289
Pay Attention 289 Focus on the Other Speaker(s) in a Generous Way 290 Avoid Making Assumptions 290 Listen for Feelings as Well as Facts 290
What is active listening? 291
How do I show people that I’m listening to them? 292
Can I use these techniques if I really disagree with
someone? 292
Building a Critical Skill Leading by Listening 293
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams 297 What kinds of messages should groups attend to? 298
What roles do people play in groups? 299
Leadership in Groups 300
Unit Five Interpersonal Communication 287
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 238
Building a Critical Skill Creating a Professional Image, 2 239
What grammatical errors do I need to be able to fix? 239
Agreement 239 Case 241 Dangling Modifier 242 Misplaced Modifier 242 Parallel Structure 242 Predication Errors 243
How can I fix sentence errors? 243
Comma Splices 243 Run-On Sentences 244 Fused Sentences 244 Sentence Fragments 244
Should I put a comma every place I’d take a breath? 245
What punctuation should I use inside sentences? 245
Apostrophe 245 Colon 247 Comma 247 Dash 248 Hyphen 248 Parentheses 249 Period 249 Semicolon 249
What do I use when I quote sources? 249
Quotation Marks 250 Square Brackets 250 Ellipses 250 Underlining and Italics 250
How should I write numbers and dates? 251
How do I mark errors I find in proofreading? 251
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word 256
Does using the right word really matter? 257
Getting Your Meaning Across 257 Getting the Response You Want 257
Building a Critical Skill Thinking Critically 259
How do words get their meanings? 260
Is it OK to use jargon? 260
What words confuse some writers? 261
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 271
What is “good” style? 272
Building a Critical Skill Using the Right Tone 273
Are there rules I should follow? 273
What should I look for when I revise
sentences? 274
1. Use Active Verbs Most of the Time 274 2. Use Verbs to Carry the Weight of Your
Sentence 275 3. Tighten Your Writing 276 4. Vary Sentence Length and Sentence Structure 277 5. Use Parallel Structure 280 6. Put Your Readers in Your Sentences 281
What should I look for when I revise
paragraphs? 281
1. Begin Most Paragraphs with Topic Sentences 281 2. Use Transitions to Link Ideas 282
How does organizational culture affect style? 282
Unit Four Polishing Your Writing 237Unit Four Polishing Your Writing 237
Unit Five Interpersonal Communication 287
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxivloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxiv 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
Contents xxxv
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 342
What is a “report”? 343
What should I do before I write a proposal? 343
What should go in a proposal? 345
Proposals for Class Research Projects 346 Sales Proposals 351
Building a Critical Skill Identifying “Hot Buttons” 352 Proposals for Funding 352 Figuring the Budget and Costs 352
What should go in a progress report? 353
Chronological Progress Reports 354 Task Progress Reports 354 Recommendation Progress Reports 355
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 359
How can I find information online and in print? 360
Building a Critical Skill Using the Internet for Research 363
How do I write questions for surveys and interviews? 363
How do I decide whom to survey or interview? 366
How should I analyze the information I’ve
collected? 368
Understanding the Source of the Data 368 Analyzing Numbers 368 Analyzing Words 369 Checking Your Logic 370
How should I document sources? 370
Module 23 Short Reports 377 Do different kinds of reports use different patterns of
organization? 378
Informative and Closure Reports 378
Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals 341
Characteristics of Successful Student Groups 300
Building a Critical Skill Leading Without Being Arrogant 301
Peer Pressure and Groupthink 301
How should we handle conflict? 302
Steps in Conflict Resolution 302 Responding to Criticism 304 You-Attitude in Conflict Resolution 305
How can we create the best co-authored
documents? 306
Planning the Work and the Document 307 Composing the Drafts 307 Revising the Document 307 Editing and Proofreading the Document 307 Making the Group Process Work 308
Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings 312
What planning should precede a meeting? 313
When I’m in charge, how do I keep the meeting on
track? 316
What decision-making strategies work well in
meetings? 316
Building a Critical Skill Networking 317
How can I be an effective meeting participant? 318
What should go in meeting minutes? 319
How can I use informal meetings with my boss to advance
my career? 319
Do virtual meetings require special
consideration? 320
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations 325 What decisions do I need to make as I plan a
presentation? 326
Choosing the Kind of Presentation 327 Adapting Your Ideas to the Audience 327 Planning Visuals and Other Devices to Involve the
Audience 328
How can I create a strong opener and close? 330
How should I organize a presentation? 332
Building a Critical Skill Finding Your Best Voice 333
What are the keys to delivering an effective
presentation? 334
Transforming Fear 334 Using Eye Contact 335 Standing and Gesturing 335 Using Notes and Visuals 335
How should I handle questions from the
audience? 336
What are the guidelines for group presentations? 337
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxvloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxv 24/01/13 10:17 PM24/01/13 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
xxxvi Contents
Unit Seven Job Hunting 437
Module 26 Researching Jobs 438 What do I need to know about myself to job hunt? 439
What do I need to know about companies that might
hire me? 439
Building a Critical Skill Choosing Whether to Stay or Go 440
Should I do information interviews? 441
What is the “hidden job market”? How do I tap
into it? 443
What do I do if I’ve got a major weakness? 444
“All My Experience Is in My Family’s Business” 444 “I’ve Been Out of the Job Market for a While” 444 “I Want to Change Fields” 444 “I Was Fired” 444 “I Don’t Have Any Experience” 445 “I’m a Lot Older than They Want” 446
Module 27 Résumés 449 How can I encourage the employer to pay attention to my
résumé? 450
Building a Critical Skill Using a Computer to Create Résumés 451
What kind of résumé should I use? 452
How do the two résumés differ? 452
Chronological Résumés 452 Skills Résumés 458
What parts of the two résumés are the same? 461
Contact Information 461 Summary of Qualifications 461 Education 462 Career Objective 463 Honors and Awards 463 References 464
What should I do if the standard categories don’t fit? 465
Should I limit my résumé to just one page? 465
Feasibility Reports 378 Justification Reports 378
What are the basic strategies for organizing
information? 381
1. Comparison/Contrast 382 2. Problem-Solution 382 3. Elimination of Alternatives 382 4. General to Particular or Particular to General 383 5. Geographic or Spatial 383 6. Functional 384 7. Chronological 385
Should I use the same style for reports as for other
business documents? 385
1. Say What You Mean 385
Building a Critical Skill Asking Specific and Polite Questions 386
2. Tighten Your Writing 386 3. Use Blueprints, Transitions, Topic Sentences, and
Headings 386
Module 24 Long Reports 392 I’ve never written anything so long. How should I
organize my time? 393
How do I create each of the parts of a formal
report? 394
Title Page 409
Letter or Memo of Transmittal 409 Table of Contents 409
Building a Critical Skill Choosing a Long Report Format and Style 410
List of Illustrations 410 Executive Summary 410 Introduction 411 Background or History 411 Conclusions and Recommendations 412
Module 25 Using Visuals 416 What are stories, and how do I find them? 418
Does it matter what kind of visual I use? 418
What design conventions should I follow? 419
Tables 420 Pie Charts 420 Bar Charts 420 Line Graphs 421
Can I use color and clip art? 421
What else do I need to check for? 422
Building a Critical Skill Integrating Visuals into Your Text 424
Can I use the same visuals in my document and my
presentation? 425
Unit Seven Job Hunting 437
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxviloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxvi 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
Contents xxxvii
How do I create a scannable résumé? 465
How should I prepare an online résumé? 468
Can I use a video résumé? 468
Module 28 Job Application Letters 474 What kind of letter should I use? 476
How are the two letters different? 476
The First Paragraph of a Solicited Letter 478 First Paragraphs of Prospecting Letters 478 Last Paragraphs 480
What parts of the two letters are the same? 480
Showing a Knowledge of the Position and the Company 481
Separating Yourself from Other Applicants 481
Building a Critical Skill Targeting a Specific Company in Your Letter 482
Can I use T-letters? 482
How long should my letter be? 483
How do I create the right tone? 483
You-Attitude 483 Positive Emphasis 485
The company wants an e-mail application. What
should I do? 485
Module 29 Job Interviews 491 Why do I need an interview strategy? 493
What details should I think about? 493
What to Wear 493 What to Bring to the Interview 494
Note-Taking 494 How to Get There 494
Should I practice before the interview? 494
How to Act 495 Parts of the Interview 495 Stress Interviews 495
How should I answer traditional interview
questions? 496
Building a Critical Skill Negotiating Salary and Benefits 501
How can I prepare for behavioral and situational
interviews? 502
How can I prepare for phone or video interviews? 503
Module 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers 507
What should I say in a follow-up phone call
or letter? 508
What do I do if my first offer isn’t the one I most
want? 508
Building a Critical Skill Being Enthusiastic 510
Is there anything else I should do? 511
Glossary 516
Polishing Your Prose Answers 524
Endnotes 528
Credits 535
Index 537
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxviiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxvii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
loc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxviiiloc03261_fm_i-xxxviii.indd xxxviii 24/01/13 10:00 PM24/01/13 10:00 PM
Confirming pages
1 Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens
Building Blocks for Effective Messages
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 1loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 1 19/12/12 3:54 PM19/12/12 3:54 PM
Confirming pages
2
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Business Communication, Management, and Success
I f a word could sum up life in the early 21st century, it would be “change.”
Changes to politics, diversity, education, technology, fuel costs, and business practices have
altered the pace and quality of our lives. While change is ever constant, the scope of change over the
past decade has been startling. Consider how with a cell phone and Internet connection, one person
now can run a business globally or how workers can be employed from overseas or from the local
labor pool. More students are going to college than ever before, millions of American workers are
becoming eligible to retire, and millions of new workers are entering the job market—some with very
different expectations than those of previous generations.
Americans, and indeed much of the world’s population, also felt the stunning economic turbulence
that erupted in the first decade of the 21st century. Foreclosures soared, unemployment rose past 10%,
and foreign-born workers with H-1B visas found themselves heading back to their home countries for
greener pastures. 1
LO 1-1 Recognize myths about on-the-job writing.
LO 1-2 Distinguish business communica- tion from other school writing.
LO 1-3 Explain accomplishments through communication.
LO 1-4 Understand costs for business communication.
LO 1-5 Define criteria for effective messages.
LO 1-6 Apply strategies for communication analysis.
LO 1-7 Apply strategies for creative thinking.
Module 1 explores with you the importance of communication in the business world. After completing
the module, you should be able to
1
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 2loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 2 19/12/12 3:54 PM19/12/12 3:54 PM
Confirming pages
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 3
As this book goes to press, the U.S. economy continues to improve, but for millions of
Americans struggling to make ends meet, the improvements have yet to affect their day-to-
day lives. At least one thing is clear, though: workers with high-level skills and education
continue to have the best chance of weathering the economic turbulence.
For instance, at the same time there were more than 600,000 job openings in education
and health services, there were only 67,000 openings in construction. A lack of talent caused
many jobs in the former—which typically require a higher level of education—to go unfilled. 2
Of course, no one is immune to the problems. There are plenty of skilled employees
who are unemployed or underemployed. Data suggest that college graduates under the age
of 25 and with bachelor’s degrees are facing one of the bleakest job markets in years. 3 But
you increase your chances of success with the more you know and the more you can do.
In particular, “soft skills,” such as communication skills, become even more important as
prospective employers scrutinize job applications.
Many Americans are challenged, however, by their level of English-language literacy. The
last large-scale study of U.S. literacy by the National Endowment for the Arts, for instance,
found that more American adults are not even reading one book a year, and the number of adults
with bachelor’s degrees deemed proficient in reading prose dropped from 40% to 31% in a
decade. 4 A literacy study funded by the Pew Charitable Trust found that more than half of grad-
uating students at four-year colleges and 75% at two-year colleges lack the literacy to handle
complex, real-life tasks, such as analyzing news stories and understanding credit card offers. 5
Work requires communication. People communicate to plan products and services;
hire, train, and motivate workers; coordinate manufacturing and delivery; persuade cus-
tomers to buy; and bill them for the sale. For many business, nonprofit, community, and
government organizations, the “product” is information or a service rather than something
tangible. Information and services are created and delivered by communication. In every
organization, communication is the way people get their points across, get work done, and
get recognized for their contributions.
Unless you have a fairy godmother, you’ll need to know how to communicate.
Copyright © 1993 Warren Miller/The New Yorker Collection, www.cartoonbank.com .
Carnegie Speech is among
companies providing English
language training in an age
of globalization, in this case
to pilots who are non-native
speakers of English. Beyond
reading and writing, pilots
must be able to pronounce
words sufficiently so there is
no confusion with the control
tower. The potential for
disaster is great enough that
the United Nations issued new
recommendations to improve
English-language acquisition,
citing past accidents where the
lack of proficiency in English
was a factor.
Source: Joe Sharkey, “English Skills a Concern as Global Aviation
Grows,” The New York Times,
May 21, 2012, http://www.nytimes.
com/2012/05/22/business/english-
skills-a-concern-as-global-aviation-
grows.html?_r51 .
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 3loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 3 19/12/12 3:54 PM19/12/12 3:54 PM
Confirming pages
4 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Communication takes many forms. Verbal communication, or communication that uses words, includes
• Face-to-face or phone conversations
• Meetings
• Text, e-mail, and voice-mail messages
• Letters and memos
• Reports
Nonverbal communication does not use words. Examples include
• Pictures
• Company logos
• Gestures and body language
• Who sits where at a meeting
• How long someone keeps a visitor waiting
Even in your first job, you’ll communicate. You’ll read information; you’ll listen to
instructions; you’ll ask questions; you may solve problems with other workers in teams. In
a manufacturing company, hourly workers travel to a potential customer to make oral sales
presentations. In an insurance company, clerks answer customers’ letters. Even “entry-
level” jobs require high-level skills in reasoning, mathematics, and communicating. As a
result, communication ability consistently ranks first among the qualities that employers
look for in college graduates. 6
A National Association of
Colleges and Employers survey
revealed that the ability to
work in a team structure and
to verbally communicate with
persons inside and outside
the organization topped the
list of skills employers want in
job candidates. The findings
dovetail with those of the
Partnership for 21st Century
Skills, which found that 99%
of people surveyed felt that
success in the global economy
depends on developing critical
thinking and analytical skills,
with 88% of those surveyed
feeling that schools should
also focus on teaching such
skills as communication. Of the
14 skill sets offered for ranking,
reading comprehension rated
the highest in importance.
Sources: “Job Outlook: The Candidate Skills/Qualities Employers
Want,” The National Association of
Colleges and Employers, October 26,
2011, http://www.naceweb.org/
s10262011/candidate_skills_
employer_qualities/ ; and “Beyond
the Three Rs: Voter Attitudes
Toward 21st Century Skills (Key
Findings),” November 23, 2007,
The Partnership for 21st Century
Skills, www.21stcenturyskills.org/
documents/p21_pollreport_2pg.pdf .
Experts predict that
globalization will continue
to revolutionize business
and industry throughout the
upcoming years, transforming
economies in the process.
Here, workers inspect a
tanker at Hyundai Heavy
industries, Inc., a South
Korean manufacturer of
industrial robots, construction
equipment, and electric and
electronic systems that is also
the world’s largest shipbuilder.
For companies with an eye
toward being global leaders,
effective communication
is vital, whether to ensure
smooth operations, cultivate
strong relationships with
diverse clients, or increase
market share in a competitive
environment. Of course,
organizations with more
local aspirations benefit from
effective communication, too!
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 4loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 4 19/12/12 3:54 PM19/12/12 3:54 PM
Confirming pages
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 5
Communication affects all levels of work. Training specialists Brad Humphrey and
Jeff Stokes identify communication skills as being among the most important for modern
supervisors. 7 Andrew Posner, a career counselor, advises that employees looking to make
a career change need such “transferable skills” as the ability to “analyze, write, persuade,
and manage.” 8
Employers clearly want employees who communicate well, yet a staggering 40 million
people in the United States alone have limited literacy skills, including some college
graduates. 9 According to one report by the College Board’s National Commission on Writ-
ing, states spend more than $220 million annually on remedial writing training for their
employees, and corporations may spend $3.1 billion to fix problems from writing defi-
ciencies; two-thirds of private-sector employers surveyed said writing was an important
responsibility for employees. 10
Because writing skills are so valuable, good writers earn more. Linguist Stephen Reder
has found that among people with two- or four-year degrees, workers in the top 20% of
writing ability earn, on average, more than three times as much as workers whose writing
falls into the worst 20%. 11
The conclusion is simple: Good communication skills are vital in today’s workplace.
Technology, especially through e-mail, instant messaging, and cell phones, is making the
globe a smaller and busier place, one where messages must be understood immediately.
Traditional paper messages flourish, even as electronic channels expand our ability to
reach more people. The better an employee’s communication skills are, the better his or her
chance for success.
Will I really have to write?
▶ Yes. A lot.
Claims that people can get by without writing are flawed.
Claim 1: Secretaries will do all my writing. Reality: Because of automation and restructuring, secretaries and administrative assistants are likely
to handle complex tasks such as training, research, and database management for several
managers. Managers are likely to take care of their own writing, data entry, and phone calls. 12
Claim 2: I’ll use form letters or templates when I need to write. Reality: A form letter is a prewritten fill-in-the-blank letter designed to fit standard situations.
Using a form letter is OK if it’s a good letter. But form letters cover only routine situa-
tions. The higher you rise, the more frequently you’ll face situations that aren’t routine
and that demand creative solutions.
Claim 3: I’m being hired as an accountant, not a writer. Reality: Almost every entry-level professional or managerial job requires you to write e-mail
messages, speak to small groups, and write paper documents. People who do these things
well are more likely to be promoted beyond the entry level.
Claim 4: I’ll just pick up the phone. Reality: Important phone calls require follow-up letters, memos, or e-mail messages. People in
organizations put things in writing to make themselves visible, to create a record, to con-
vey complex data, to make things convenient for the reader, to save money, and to convey
their own messages more effectively. “If it isn’t in writing,” says a manager at one com-
pany, “it didn’t happen.” Writing is an essential way to make yourself visible, to let your
accomplishments be known.
Don’t I know enough about communication?
▶ Business communication differs from other school writing.
Although both business communication and other school writing demand standard edited
English, in other ways the two are very different.
LO 1-1
LO 1-2
For U.S. elementary and
middle school students,
significant gains in math and
science on standardized
tests have been offset by only
modest gains in reading skills.
In 1992, for instance, 29% of
fourth-grade students were
proficient in reading, but nearly
20 years later, that number
had risen only five percentage
points. There were no gains at
all from 2008 to 2009.
Source: Sam Dillon, “Since 1990s, U.S. Students’ Math Has
Sharpened, But Reading Lags,”
The New York Times, November 1,
2011, http://www.nytimes.
com/2011/11/02/education/
us-students-math-skills-sharpen-
but-reading-lags.html .
Some research has found less
correlation between college
majors and success in the
workplace than might be
expected. A study by Payscale,
Inc., for instance, found that
history majors who pursued
business careers earned as
much on average as those who
majored in business. Much to
the chagrin of his father, CNN’s
Ted Turner majored in Classics,
and Michael Eisner, former head
of The Walt Disney Company
and at one time the highest-
paid executive in the U.S.,
graduated with a Bachelor’s
Degree in English. George
Brown College found that “most
employers cite communication
skills as the most important skill
(continued)
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 5loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 5 19/12/12 3:55 PM19/12/12 3:55 PM
Confirming pages
6 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Purpose
• The purpose of school writing is usually to show that you have learned the course
material and to demonstrate your intelligence.
• The purpose of business communication is to meet an organizational need. No one will
pay you to write something that he or she already knows.
Audience
• The audiences for school writing are limited: usually just the instructor and the other
students. The real audience is “an educated person.” Even if the instructor disagrees
with your views, if they are well-supported, the paper can earn a good grade. The
instructor is paid, in part, to read your papers and will read them even if they are boring.
• The audiences for business communication include people both inside and outside the
organization (▶▶ Module 2). Real audiences pay attention to messages only if they seem important, relevant, and interesting.
Information
• Information in school writing may be new to you but is rarely new to your instructor.
• Information in business communication is usually new to your reader. (If it isn’t, you
have to work extra hard to make it interesting.)
Organization
• School writing often follows the traditional essay form, with a thesis statement up front,
paragraphs of evidence, and a final concluding paragraph.
• Business communication is organized to meet the psychological needs of the reader.
Most often, the main point comes up front (▶▶ Modules 10–12).
Style
• The style for school writing is often formal. Big words and long sentences and
paragraphs are often rewarded.
• The style for business communication is friendly, not formal. Short words and a mix of
sentence and paragraph lengths are best (▶▶ Modules 15 and 16).
Document Design
• School writing often rewards long paragraphs. Papers are often double spaced, with no
attention to visual design.
• Businesspeople want to be able to skim documents. Headings, lists, and single-spaced
paragraphs with double spacing between paragraphs help readers find information
quickly (▶▶ Module 5).
Visuals
• Except for math, construction, and engineering, few classes expect writing to contain
anything other than words.
• Business writers are expected to choose the most effective way to convey information.
Even a one-page memo may contain a table, graph, or other visual. You’ll be expected to
be able to use computer programs to create graphs, visuals, and slides for presentations
(▶▶ Modules 5, 20, and 25).
What does communication accomplish?
▶ Management happens through communication.
According to Henry Mintzberg, managers have three basic jobs: to collect and convey
information, to make decisions, and to promote interpersonal unity—that is, to make
people want to work together to achieve organizational goals. 13
All of these jobs happen
through communication. Effective managers are able to use a wide variety of media and
LO 1-3
The National Assessment of
Adult Literacy, a study by the
U.S. Department of Education,
showed that Mississippi has
improved adult literacy in every
one of its counties. Some
other states, however, saw
an increase in adult illiteracy,
and one in seven U.S. adults
is challenged to read anything
more complex than a child’s
picture book.
Source: Greg Toppo, “Literacy Study: 1 in 7 Adults are Unable
to Read this Story,” USAToday.
January 8, 2009, http://
www.usatoday.com/news/
education/2009-01-08-adult-
literacy_N.htm .
for a candidate to possess,”
even though many people, such
as Millennial students surveyed,
believe experience is more
important.
Source: Zac Bissonnette, “Your College Major May Not Be as
Important as You Think,” The New
York Times, November 3, 2010,
http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes
.com/2010/11/03/major/ .
(continued)
Site to See
Go to
www.mindtools.com/pages/ article/newTMM_36.htm
to test your interpersonal skills.
Go to
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 6loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 6 19/12/12 3:55 PM19/12/12 3:55 PM
Confirming pages
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 7
strategies to communicate. They know how to interpret comments from informal channels
such as the company grapevine; they can speak effectively in small groups and in formal
presentations; they write well.
Communication—oral, nonverbal, and written—goes to both internal and external
audiences. Internal audiences ( Figure 1.1 ) are other people in the same organization: subordinates, superiors, peers. External audiences ( Figure 1.2 ) are people outside the organization: customers, suppliers, unions, stockholders, potential employees, government
agencies, the press, and the general public.
Figure 1.1 The Internal
Audiences of the Sales
Manager—West
Figure 1.2 The Corporation’s
External Audiences
Source: Daphne A. Jameson.
Sales manager
International
President
VP production
VP marketing
VP sales
VP finance
VP human
resources
Sales manager Midwest
Sales manager
East
District 1
manager
District 2
manager
District 3
manager
Sales rep
Sales rep
Sales rep
Sales rep
Sales rep
To subordinates
To peers
To superiors
Unions Professional services (auditors, legal, etc.)
Suppliers Vendors
Distributors Wholesalers Franchisees Retailers Agents
Legislators Government agencies, regulators, offices
The courts
Foreign governments and offices
The mediaTrade associations Competitors
Other businesses and industries
Special interest groups
The general public Potential employees Potential customers
Potential stockholders
Employment agencies
Stockholders Investors Lenders
Subsidiaries
The corporation
Customers Clients
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 7loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 7 19/12/12 3:55 PM19/12/12 3:55 PM
Confirming pages
8 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
The Importance of Listening, Speaking, and Interpersonal Communication
Informal listening, speaking, and working in groups are just as important as writing formal
documents and giving formal oral presentations. As a newcomer in an organization, you’ll
need to listen to others both to find out what you’re supposed to do and to learn about
the organization’s values and culture. Informal chitchat, both about yesterday’s game and
about what’s happening at work, connects you to the grapevine, an informal source of company information. You may be asked to speak to small groups, either inside or outside
your organization. 14
Networking with others in your office and in town and working with
others in workgroups will be crucial to your success.
The Purposes of Messages in Organizations
Messages in organizations have one or more of three basic purposes: to inform, to request or persuade, and to build goodwill. When you inform, you explain something or tell read- ers something. When you request or persuade, you want the reader to act. The word request suggests that the action will be easy or routine; persuade suggests that you will have to motivate and convince the reader to act. When you build goodwill, you create a good image of yourself and of your organization—the kind of image that makes people
want to do business with you.
Most messages have multiple purposes.
• When you answer a question, you’re informing, but you also want to build goodwill by
suggesting that you’re competent and perceptive and that your answer is correct and
complete.
• In a claims adjustment, whether your answer is yes or no, you want to suggest that
the reader’s claim has been given careful consideration and that the decision is fair,
businesslike, and justified.
• To persuade, a résumé gives information to prove that you’re qualified for the job and
uses layout to emphasize your strong points and build a good image of you.
How much does correspondence cost?
▶ $21.15 a page—even more if it doesn’t work.
Writing costs money. Besides the cost of paper, computers, and software, there is the major
expense: employees’ time. A consultant who surveyed employees in seven industries found
that to prepare a one-page letter, most of them spent 54 minutes planning, composing, and
revising the letter. According to the most recent figures from the U.S. Labor Department,
employers paid an average of $23.50 per hour per employee for wages and benefits. At that
rate, an employer would pay $21.15 for an employee’s time spent writing a typical letter. 15
One company in Minneapolis sends out 3,000 original letters a day—worth more than
$66,000 at the average rate. A first-class stamp on each letter would add another $1,000 to
the company’s daily expenses.
In many organizations, all external documents must be approved before they go out.
A document may cycle from writer to superior to writer to another superior to writer again three or four or many more times before it is finally approved. The cycling process
increases the cost of correspondence.
Longer documents can involve large teams of people and take months to write.
An engineering firm that relies on military contracts for its business calculates that it
spends $500,000 to put together an average proposal and $1 million to write a large
proposal. 16
Poor correspondence costs even more. When writing isn’t as good as it could be, you
and your organization pay a price in wasted time, wasted efforts, and lost goodwill.
LO 1-4
Site to See
Go to
www.teslamotors.com
Word-of-mouth rather than
traditional advertising has
fueled sales of Tesla Motors’
electric cars.
Go to
The international nonprofit
organization ProLiteracy
estimates that $60 billion is
lost annually by American
businesses due to issues
stemming from illiteracy.
Source: Robert Roy Britt, “14 Percent of U.S. Adults Can’t
Read,” Livescience, January 10,
2009, downloaded at http://www.
livescience.com/culture/090110-
illiterate-adults.html .
Instant Replay
Internal and External
Audiences
Internal Audiences
Are other people in the same
organization: subordinates,
superiors, peers.
External Audiences
Are people outside the
organization: customers,
suppliers, unions, stockholders,
potential employees,
government agencies, the
press, and the general public.
I R
Internal and
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 8loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 8 19/12/12 3:55 PM19/12/12 3:55 PM
Confirming pages
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 9
Bad writing wastes time by
• Taking more time to read.
• Requiring more time to revise and causing more rounds of revision.
• Confusing ideas so that discussions and decisions are needlessly drawn out.
• Delaying action while the reader asks for more information or tries to figure out the
meaning.
Ineffective messages don’t get results. A reader who has to guess what the writer
means may guess wrong. A reader who finds a letter or memo unconvincing or insulting
simply won’t do what the message asks. Thus, second and third and fourth requests are
necessary.
Whatever the literal content of the words, every letter, memo, and report serves either to
enhance or to damage the image the reader has of the writer. Poor messages damage busi-
ness relationships.
Good communication is worth every minute it takes and every penny it costs. For
instance, the consulting firm Watson Wyatt Worldwide conducted research showing greater
returns to shareholders in companies with the most effective programs for communicat-
ing with their employees. Those companies also enjoyed lower employee turnover and a
30% increase in their stocks’ market value. 17
What makes a message effective?
▶ Good messages meet five criteria.
Good business and administrative writing
• Is clear. The meaning the reader gets is the meaning the writer intended. The reader doesn’t have to guess.
• Is complete. All of the reader’s questions are answered. The reader has enough information to evaluate the message and act on it.
• Is correct. All of the information in the message is accurate. The message is free from errors in punctuation, spelling, grammar, word order, and sentence structure.
• Saves the reader’s time. The style, organization, and visual impact of the message help the reader to read, understand, and act on the information as quickly as possible.
• Builds goodwill. The message presents a positive image of the writer and his or her organization. It treats the reader as a person, not a number. It cements a good relationship
between the writer and the reader (▶▶ Modules 6–8).
Whether a message meets these five criteria depends on the interactions among the writer, the audience, the purposes of the message, and the situation. No single set of words will work in all possible situations.
Better writing helps you to
• Save time. Reduce reading time, since comprehension is easier. Eliminate the time now taken to rewrite badly written materials. Reduce the time taken asking writers, “What
did you mean?”
• Make your efforts more effective. Increase the number of requests that are answered positively and promptly—on the first request. Present your points—to other people in
your organization; to clients, customers, and suppliers; to government agencies; to the
public—more forcefully.
• Communicate your points more clearly. Reduce the misunderstandings that occur when the reader has to supply missing or unclear information. Make the issues clear, so
that disagreements can surface and be resolved more quickly.
• Build goodwill. Build a positive image of your organization. Build an image of yourself as a knowledgeable, intelligent, capable person.
LO 1-5
A typo may have led to the
Wall Street chaos in 2010
that ultimately cost investors
billions of dollars. At heart was
a $16 million trade in Procter
& Gamble stock, but someone
entered it as $16 billion
instead. In just 15 minutes,
the Dow Jones average sank
more than 700 points, losing
nearly 1,000 points before
finally stabilizing at a loss of
347 points.
Source: David Louie, “Typo May Have Been Cause of Market
Meltdown,” ABC Channel 7 News,
May 7, 2010, http://abclocal.
go.com/kgo/story?section=news/
business&id=7427822 .
Central Connecticut State
University (CCSU) determined
that Washington, D.C., is the
most literate city in the United
States with a population
greater than 250,000, followed
by Seattle, Minneapolis,
Atlanta, and Boston. While
Seattle often tops many lists of
literate cities, the CCSU study
included web traffic with more
traditional factors as education
level, bookstore number,
library access, and periodical
readership. The study’s author,
John W. Miller, found no
correlation between literacy
and a city’s wealth.
Source: John Metcalf, “America’s Most Literate Cities Not
Necessarily the Wealthiest,”
The Atlantic, January 26, 2012,
http://www.theatlanticcities.
com/arts-and-lifestyle/2012/01/
americas-most-literate-cities-not-
necessarily-wealthiest/1063/# .
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 9loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 9 19/12/12 3:56 PM19/12/12 3:56 PM
Confirming pages
10 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
How should I analyze business communication situations?
▶ Try PAIBOC.
Before you write or speak, you need to understand the situation. Ask yourself the follow-
ing questions:
• What’s at stake—to whom? Think not only about your own needs but about the concerns your boss and your readers will have. Your message will be most effective if
you think of the entire organizational context—and the larger context of shareholders,
customers, and regulators. When the stakes are high, you’ll need to take into account
people’s emotional feelings as well as objective facts.
• Should you send a message? Sometimes, especially when you’re new on the job, silence is the most tactful response. But be alert for opportunities to learn, to influence,
to make your case. You can use communication to build your career.
• What channel should you use? Paper documents and presentations are formal and give you considerable control over the message. E-mail, phone calls, and stopping by
someone’s office are less formal. Oral channels are better for group decision making,
allow misunderstandings to be cleared up more quickly, and seem more personal.
Sometimes you may need more than one message, in more than one channel.
• What should you say? Content for a message may not be obvious. How detailed should you be? Should you repeat information that the audience already knows? The
answers will depend upon the kind of document, your purposes, your audiences, and
the corporate culture. And you’ll have to figure these things out for yourself, without
detailed instructions.
• How should you say it? How you arrange your ideas—what comes first, what second, what last—and the words you use shape the audience’s response to what you say.
When you’re faced with a business communication situation, you need to develop a
solution that will both solve the organizational problem and meet the psychological needs of the people involved. The strategies in this section will help you solve the prob- lems in this book. Almost all of these strategies can also be applied to problems you
encounter on the job.
• Understand the situation. What are the facts? What additional information might be helpful? Where could you get it?
• Brainstorm solutions. Consciously develop several solutions. Then measure them against your audience and purposes: Which solution is likely to work best?
LO 1-6
Instant Replay
Documents’ Purposes
Documents in organizations
have three basic purposes: to
inform, to request or persuade,
and to build goodwill.
Most documents have
more than one purpose.
I R
Documents’
Instant Replay
Criteria for Effective
Messages
Good business and
administrative writing is clear,
complete, and correct. It saves
the reader time, and it builds
goodwill.
Whether a message meets
these five criteria depends on
the interactions among the writer, the audience, the purposes of the message, and the situation. No single set of words will work in all
possible situations.
I R
Criteria for People communicate to plan
products and services; hire,
train, and motivate workers;
coordinate manufacturing
and delivery; persuade
customers to buy; bill them
for the sale; and communicate
with stakeholders. The Iowa
chapter of the Sierra Club
honored the Davenport
Alcoa plant for its innovative
environmental programs.
Pictured here is Alcoa
employee Shannon Saliard.
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 10loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 10 19/12/12 3:56 PM19/12/12 3:56 PM
Confirming pages
11
Creativity is essential to success in business and business
communication. Here are some examples.
• In a risky move, Apple Computer branched into portable
digital music players, a market in which it had no signif-
icant experience. The results were the iPod, now the de
facto standard, and iTunes, a popular online music store.
The company then gambled on the iPhone, iTunes Movie
Rentals, the MacBook Air, and the iPad, an electronic tab-
let that Apple touted as “Our most advanced technology
in a magical and revolutionary device at an unbelievable
price.” To maintain its dominance, Apple must continue
to innovate.
• W.L. Gore & Associates, maker of GORE-TEX fabrics and
Glide dental floss, was named Most Innovative Company by
Fast Company magazine. Organized more like a university than a corporation, the company prefers egalitarian teams
to boss-driven departments, mixes researchers with sales-
people and production workers, and prefers small buildings
on minicampuses to gigantic complexes. The $1.6 billion
company is the brainchild of Wilbert L. Gore, who believed
“communication really happens in the carpool,” where hier-
archies don’t stifle free expression.
Thinking creatively often means shedding common par-
adigms. For instance, when the fledgling Cartoon Network
decided to offer programming aimed at 18- to 34-year-olds,
it sought writers and producers who ignored standard mar-
keting practice and instead envisioned a block of shows
they’d watch.
The result was Adult Swim, an after-hours cavalcade of hip satires like Futurama and The Venture Brothers mixed with Japanese anime series and off-the-wall comedies like
Family Guy and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. During commer- cial breaks, postmodern spots advertised upcoming shows
or challenged viewers’ trivia knowledge. Soon, Adult Swim was beating the competition—chiefly Jay Leno and David
Letterman.
Ways to become more creative include brainstorming, work-
ing within limits, and consciously seeking problems or disso-
nances that need work.
IBM’s tips for creativity are even more diverse. Some of
them include
• Have a constructive argument.
• Brainstorm with someone 10 years older and someone
10 years younger.
• Clean your desk.
• Come in early—enjoy the quiet.
• Leave the office. Sit with just a pencil and a pad of paper.
See what happens.
Question “conventional wisdom,” which can rely on myths
and stereotypes. Conventional wisdom argues, for instance,
that people naturally side with others along racial, ethnic,
gender, religious, or socioeconomic lines. Yet, Asian Ameri-
cans, even those with Chinese ancestors, are at a disadvan-
tage teaching English in China, where Caucasians, regardless
of qualifications, are in demand. Barack Obama was the big
Democratic winner in the 2008 Iowa Caucus, which had a
record turnout of 236,000 voters and was held in a state that is
more than 90% white. And Harvard Business School’s Noam
Wasserman found that by the time a start-up company has
raised its third round of funding, 52% of founder CEOs have
been replaced, with three-quarters of them fired by the board.
The most successful of founders were actually the first ones
to get fired.
Sources: “Tougher Days, Bolder Apple,” BusinessWeek, June 20, 2005, 38–41; Apple, Inc., downloaded on January 29, 2010, at http://
www.apple.com/ ; Brian Braiker, “Thin Is In at Macworld,” Newsweek, January 15, 2008, downloaded at www.newsweek.com/id/94611 ; Alan
Deutschman, “The Fabric of Creativity,” Fast Company, December 2004, 54, downloaded at www.fastcompany.com/magazine/89/open_gore.
html ; Matthew Grimm, “Major Toon Up,” American Demographics, October 2004, 50–51; Liz Zack, “How IBM Gets Unstuck,” Fast Company, October 1999, 104; Kevin Zhou, “Where English Teachers Have to Look the Part,” The Los Angeles Times, October 29, 2007, downloaded at www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-teach29oct29,1,1254303.
story?coll=la-headlines-business&ctrack=3&cset=true ; and Nitya
Venkataraman, “Obama Emerges Victorious in Iowa,” ABC News, January 4, 2008, downloaded at http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=4082356 ;
and Jessica Bruder, “A Harvard Professor Analyzes Why Start-Ups
Fail,” The New York Times, May 25, 2012, http://boss.blogs.nytimes .com/2012/05/25/a-harvard-professor-analyzes-why-start-ups-fail/ .
Building a Critical Skill
Thinking Creatively LO 1-7
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 11loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 11 19/12/12 3:56 PM19/12/12 3:56 PM
Confirming pages
12 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
• If you want to add or change information, get permission first. If you have any questions about ideas you want to use, ask your instructor. He or she can tell you before you write the message.
When you use this book to create messages on the job, you can’t change facts. That is, if
it’s October, you can’t pretend that it’s April just because it may be easier to think of reader
benefits for that time of year. But it may be possible to change habits that your company
has fallen into, especially if they no longer serve a purpose. Check with your supervisor to
make sure that your departure from company practice is acceptable.
• Use the PAIBOC questions in Figure 1.3 to analyze your purpose, your audience, and the situation.
As Figure 1.3 shows, PAIBOC offers an acronym for the questions you need to answer
before you begin composing your message. The following discussion lists specific ques-
tions you can answer: ▶▶ Modules 10, 11, and 12 for examples of answers to these ques- tions for specific situations.
P What are your purposes in writing or speaking? What must this message do to solve the organizational problem? What must it do to
meet your own needs? What do you want your readers to do? To think or feel? List all
your purposes, major and minor. Specify exactly what you want your reader to know, think, or do. Specify exactly what kind of image of yourself and of your organization you want to project.
Even in a simple message, you may have several related purposes: to announce
a new policy, to make readers aware of the policy’s provisions and requirements and
to have them think that the policy is a good one, that the organization cares about its
employees, and that you are a competent writer and manager.
A Who is (are) your audience(s)? How do the members of your audience differ from each other? What characteristics are relevant to this particular message?
How much does your audience know about your topic? How will audience members
respond to your message? Some characteristics of your readers will be irrelevant; focus
on ones that matter for this message. Whenever you write to several people or to a group (like a memo to all employees), try to identify the economic, cultural, or situational
differences that may affect how various subgroups respond to what you have to say.
I What information must your message include? Make a list of the points that must be included; check your draft to make sure you
include them all. If you’re not sure whether a particular fact must be included, ask
your instructor or your boss.
To include information without emphasizing it, put it in the middle of a paragraph
or document and present it as briefly as possible.
B What reasons or reader benefits can you use to support your position? Brainstorm to develop reasons for your decision, the logic behind your argument, and
possible benefits to readers if they do as you ask. Reasons and reader benefits do not
have to be monetary. Making the reader’s job easier or more pleasant is a good reader
benefit. In an informative or persuasive message, identify at least five reader benefits.
In your message, use those you can develop most easily and most effectively.
Be sure the benefits are adapted to your reader. Many people do not identify
closely with their companies; the fact that the company benefits from a policy will
help the reader only if the savings or profit is passed directly on to the employees. That
is rarely the case: Savings and profits are often eaten up by returns to stockholders,
bonuses to executives, and investments in plants and equipment or in research and
development.
O What objections can you expect your reader(s) to have? What negative elements of your message must you deemphasize or overcome?
Instant Replay
Business communications
need both to solve the
organizational problem and to
meet the psychological needs
of the people involved.
I R
Business comm
Figure 1.3 PAIBOC
Questions for Analysis
Use the PAIBOC questions
to analyze business
communication problems:
P What are your purposes in
writing or speaking?
A Who is (are) your
audience(s)? How do
members of your audience
differ? What characteristics
are relevant to this particular
message?
I What information must your
message include?
B What reasons or reader
benefits can you use to
support your position?
O What objection(s) can
you expect your reader(s)
to have? What negative
elements of your message
must you deemphasize or
overcome?
C How will the context affect
reader response? Think
about your relationship to
the reader, morale in the
organization, the economy,
the time of year, and any
special circumstances.
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 12loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 12 19/12/12 3:56 PM19/12/12 3:56 PM
Confirming pages
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 13
Some negative elements can only be deemphasized. Others can be overcome.
Be creative: Is there any advantage associated with (even though not caused by)
the negative? Can you rephrase or redefine the negative to make the reader see it
differently?
C How will the context affect the reader’s response? Think about your relationship to the reader, morale in the organization, the economy, the time of year, and any special
circumstances.
Readers may like you or resent you. You may be younger or older than the people
you’re writing to. The organization may be prosperous or going through hard times;
it may have just been reorganized or may be stable. All these different situations will
affect what you say and how you say it.
Think about the news, the economy, the weather. Think about the general
business and regulatory climate, especially as it affects the organization specified
in the problem. Use the real world as much as possible. Think about interest rates,
business conditions, and the economy. Is the industry in which the problem is set
doing well? Is the government agency in which the problem is set enjoying general
support? Think about the time of year. If it’s fall when you write, is your business in
a seasonal slowdown after a busy summer? Gearing up for the Christmas shopping
rush? Or going along at a steady pace unaffected by seasons?
To answer these questions, draw on your experience, your courses, and your
common sense. You may want to talk to other students or read The Wall Street Journal or look at a company’s annual report. Sometimes you may even want to phone a local business person to get information. For instance, if you needed more
information to think of reader benefits for a problem set in a bank, you could call a
local banker to find out what kinds of services it offers customers and what its rates
are for loans.
The remaining modules in this book will show you how to use this analysis to create
business messages that meet your needs, the needs of the reader, and the needs of the
organization.
Writing, scholars believe, was
invented to record inventories
of livestock and grain to
calculate taxes.
Source: Denise Schmandt- Besserat, “The Earliest Precursor of
Writing,” Scientific American, 238,
no. 6 (1978): 50–59.
Site to See
Go to
www.netflix.com
Netflix made video rentals
easier by establishing a
monthly fee and eliminating late
charges. Later, the company
made rentals available by
allowing customers to watch
them online.
Go to
Bob Kellaher, a manager of
customer service operations
at the New Haven Post Office,
collects a last-minute tax return.
Kellaher dresses as Uncle Sam
every year and stands outside the
post office collecting tax forms
and mail. Because tax season
is a particularly stressful time for
individuals filing tax returns, even
government organizations such as
the U.S. Postal Service can benefit
from efforts to foster customer
satisfaction.
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 13loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 13 19/12/12 3:56 PM19/12/12 3:56 PM
Confirming pages
14 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Communication helps organizations and the people in them
achieve their goals. The ability to write and speak well becomes
increasingly important as you rise in an organization. (LO 1-1) • People put things in writing to create a record, to convey complex
data, to make things convenient for the reader, to save money,
and to convey their own messages more effectively. (LO 1-2) • Internal documents go to people inside the organization.
External documents go to audiences outside: clients, custom- ers, suppliers, stockholders, the government, the media, the
general public. (LO 1-3) • The three basic purposes of business and administrative com-
munication are to inform, to request or persuade, and to build goodwill. Most messages have more than one purpose. (LO 1-3)
• A one-page message that took an hour to plan, write, and revise
cost on average $21.15. Poor writing costs even more since it
wastes time, wastes efforts, and jeopardizes goodwill. (LO 1-4) • Good business and administrative writing meets five basic
criteria: it’s clear, complete, and correct; it saves the reader’s time; and it builds goodwill. (LO 1-5)
• To evaluate a specific document, we must know the interactions
among the writer, the reader(s), the purposes of the message,
and the situation. No single set of words will work for all read-
ers in all situations. (LO 1-6) • To understand business communication situations, ask the
following questions: (LO 1-6) • What’s at stake—to whom?
• Should you send a message?
• What channel should you use?
• What should you say?
• How should you say it?
• Use the PAIBOC question to analyze business communication
problems: (LO 1-6) P What are your purposes in writing or speaking? A Who is (are) your audience(s)? How do members of your
audience differ? What characteristics are relevant to the
particular message?
I What information must your message include? B What reasons or reader benefits can you use to support your
position?
O What objection(s) can you expect your reader(s) to have? What negative elements of your message must you deem-
phasize or overcome?
C How will the context affect reader response? Think about your relationship to the reader, morale in the orga-
nization, the economy, the time of year, and any special
circumstances.
• A solution to a business communication problem must both
solve the organizational problem and meet the needs of the
writer or speaker, the organization, and the audience. (LO 1-6) • To think creatively, brainstorm, work within limits, consciously
seek problems that need work, have a constructive argument,
clean your desk, come in early, leave the office with a pencil
and pad, and question conventional wisdom. (LO 1-7)
Assignments for Module 1
1.1 What are the three basic purposes of business messages? (LO 1-3)
1.2 What are the five basic criteria for effective messages? (LO 1-5)
1.3 What does PAIBOC stand for? (LO 1-6)
Questions for Comprehension
1.4 Why do writing and speaking become even more important as people rise in the organization? (LO 1-1 to LO 1-3)
1.5 If you’re just looking for a low-level job, why is it still useful to be able to write and speak well? (LO 1-1 to LO 1-3)
1.6 Why do you need to understand the purposes, audience, and context for a message to know whether a specific set of
words will work? (LO 1-2)
1.7 What opportunities do you have in volunteer or student organizations to do real “business writing” while you’re in
school? (LO 1-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
1.8 Discussing Strengths (LO 1-5, LO 1-6)
Introduce yourself to a small group of other students.
Identify three of your strengths that might interest an
employer. These can be experience, knowledge, or person-
ality traits (like enthusiasm).
Exercises and Problems
Write a memo (at least 1½ pages long) introducing yourself
to your instructor. Include the following topics:
• Background: Where did you grow up? What have you
done in terms of school, extracurricular activities, jobs,
and family life?
1.9 Introducing Yourself to Your Instructor (LO 1-5, LO 1-6)
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 14loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 14 19/12/12 3:57 PM19/12/12 3:57 PM
Confirming pages
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 15
• Interests: What are you interested in? What do you like
to do? What do you like to think about and talk about?
• Achievements: What achievements have given you the
greatest personal satisfaction? List at least five. Include
things that gave you a real sense of accomplishment and
pride, whether or not they’re the sort of thing you’d list
on a résumé.
• Goals: What do you hope to accomplish this term?
Where would you like to be professionally and person-
ally five years from now?
Use complete memo format with appropriate head-
ings. (▶▶ Module 9 for examples of memo format.) Use a conversational writing style; check your draft to polish the
style and edit for mechanical and grammatical correctness.
A good memo will enable your instructor to see you as an
individual. Use specific details to make your memo vivid
and interesting. Remember that one of your purposes is to
interest your reader!
Write a memo (at least 1½ pages long) to your instructor
describing the experiences you’ve had writing and what
you’d like to learn about writing during this course.
Answer several of the following questions:
• What memories do you have of writing? What made
writing fun or frightening in the past?
• What have you been taught about writing? List the
topics, rules, and advice you remember.
• What kinds of writing have you done in school? How
long have the papers been?
• How has your school writing been evaluated? Did the
instructor mark or comment on mechanics and grammar?
Style? Organization? Logic? Content? Audience analy-
sis and adaptation? Have you gotten extended comments
on your papers? Have instructors in different classes had
the same standards, or have you changed aspects of your
writing for different classes?
• What voluntary writing have you done—journals, poems,
stories, essays? Has this writing been just for you, or has
some of it been shared or published?
• Have you ever written on a job or in a student or vol-
unteer organization? Have you ever typed other people’s
writing? What have these experiences led you to think
about real-world writing?
• What do you see as your current strengths and weak-
nesses in writing skills? What skills do you think you’ll
need in the future? What kinds of writing do you expect
to do after you graduate?
Use complete memo format with appropriate headings.
(▶▶ Module 9 for examples of memo format.) Use a con- ventional writing style; edit your final draft for mechanical
and grammatical correctness.
1.10 Describing Your Experiences in and Goals for Writing (LO 1-5, LO 1-6)
Your regional electric utility provides power to rural, urban,
and suburban customers. Recently, a series of heavy sum-
mer rainstorms knocked out electricity to thousands of
customers. Because overhead power lines came down—
in some cases due to inadequate tree trimming by home
owners—some customers were without power for more
than a week. In addition to the inconvenience of not having
electricity, many customers also had to throw away spoiled
food, as well as go without air conditioning on days when
temperatures climbed past 90 degrees.
Today, you receive a letter from Harper Henry, a long-
time customer and local business leader whose husband,
Stephen D’Amico, is a county commissioner. Ms. Henry is
angry that power to her neighborhood was out for four days
and that though similar storms have knocked out power in
past years, nothing seems to have been done to prepare for
future storms. In particular, there is no plan to bury over-
head power lines. “Your company puts making money
ahead of customer service,” she writes. “You continue to
post record profits while putting countless lives at stake, all
for the sake of your bottom line.”
The following letters are possible approaches to answer-
ing this complaint. How well does each message meet the
needs of the reader, the writer, and the organization? Is the
message clear, complete, and correct? Does it save the read-
er’s time? Does it build goodwill?
1.11 Letters to Angry Electric Company Customers (LO 1-5 to LO 1-7)
1. Dear Sir or Madam:
You opinion is valuable to us, and you can rest assured that we are looking into the problem. Should you
have questions or concerns in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us.
2. Dear Harper:
You’re right — we dropped the ball on this one! But the utility business is an unpredictable one, and only
God Himself controls the weather. So, while we deal with the frustration of being mere mortals, you can
help us with your patience. Make sure, too, that you trim any trees that are on your property and are close
to overhead power lines since falling trees caused a lot of the problems. With any luck, we’ll all be better
off in the next storm.
P.S. How funny that someone named Harper would be sending a letter to complain!
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 15loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 15 19/12/12 3:57 PM19/12/12 3:57 PM
Confirming pages
16 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
3. Dear Mrs. Henry:
The electric utility business is a particularly difficult one. You’d be surprised at all of the variables that
come into play. For instance, there are union contracts to negotiate with employees. Did you know that
we can’t expect a lineman to work more than eight hours in one day without doubling his hourly rate?
We also have to provide meals if the work goes beyond 12 hours and overnight accommodations if the
worker must travel more than 50 miles from home. All that’s just part of the labor issue. Unions are killing
this business.
There’s also the cost of producing the electricity, meeting the government regulations for clean air in our
coal-fired plants, and upkeep of the overhead power lines. As you know, we trim trees that are within
10 feet of any power line, but home owners are responsible for the other trees. Do they trim them? Of
course not. Then a good wind comes along and knocks them down, right onto those lines. It’s a crazy
business, Mrs. Henry, and one that is a miracle to make any money in.
Anyway, we’re sorry for the inconvenience you faced. But I’m sure you can now see just how challenging
all this is. Think about that the next time you flip a switch. This is what we do so you can have light to read
by and television to watch. Your electric company is on your side.
4. Dear Ms. Henry:
Thank you for your recent feedback regarding the power outage to your home.
As you know, the storms that hit this year were particularly powerful. Hundreds of miles of overhead
power lines were brought down in a matter of minutes, leaving thousands of customers stranded. Though
more than 1,500 extra utility workers from surrounding states were brought in to help restore electricity,
clearly we could have done better. Going without electricity for even a few minutes is too long, and we are
making strides to improve our service.
We are currently working with local municipalities to explore cost-effective ways to solve this problem.
Suggestions from valuable customers like you will help in the effort. As you noted in your letter, burying
power lines is an option to consider.
Your loyalty and input will help us to provide even better service to customers.
The Acme Corporation has been planning to acquire
Best Products, and Acme employees are worried about
how the acquisition will affect them. Ed Zeplin, Acme’s
human resource manager, has been visiting the message
boards on job search sites like Vault.com and sees a dra-
matic rise in the number of messages posted by people
claiming to be Acme employees. Many of the messages
are spreading rumors about layoffs, and most of the
rumors are false.
The following messages are possible responses that
Ed can post to the message boards. How well does each
message meet the needs of the reader, the writer, and the
organization? Is the message clear, complete, and correct?
Does it save the reader’s time? Does it build goodwill?
1.12 Online Messages for Discussion—Responding to Rumors (LO 1-5 to LO 1-7)
1. It Will Be Great!
Author: L. Ed Zeplin, HR
Date: Tuesday, May 23
I am happy to tell you that the HR news is good. Two months ago, the CEO told me about the merger,
and I have been preparing a human resource plan ever since.
I want you to know about this because morale has been bad, and it shouldn’t be. You really should wait
for the official announcements, and you’ll see that the staffing needs will remain strong. My department
has been under a lot of pressure, but if you’ll be patient, we’ll explain everything—the staffing, the
compensation.
Our plan should be ready by Monday, and then if you have any questions, just contact your HR rep.
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 16loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 16 19/12/12 3:57 PM19/12/12 3:57 PM
Confirming pages
Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success 17
2. HR Staffing
Author: HR Boss
Date: Tuesday, May 23
The rumors are false. Just ask anyone in HR. There will be no layoffs.
3. Don’t Believe the Rumors
Author: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, May 23
Acme has 475 employees, and Best Products has 132 employees. Our human resource plan for next
year calls for 625 employees. If you do the math, you can see that there will be no layoffs. Rather, we
will be hiring 20 employees. Of course, as we consolidate operations with Best, there will be some
redeployments. However, our plan indicates that we will be able to retain our current staff. All employees
are valued at Acme, as our current benefits package testifies.
Our HR plan is based on the best analytic techniques and a business forecast by a top consulting
firm. If you’re an employee, you should review our business plan, at the Our Goals page on Acme’s
intranet. Everyone should read Acme’s mission statement on our home page, www.acme.com/
homepage.html .
4. Layoff Rumors Do Acme a Disservice
Author: Zeplin in HR
Date: Tuesday, 23 May
If you come here to get your company information, you aren’t getting the straight story. The people
posting to this discussion board are spreading false rumors, not the truth. If you want to know the truth
about Acme, ask the people who have access to the information.
As HR manager, I can assure you we won’t be laying off employees after the merger with Best Products.
I’m the one who approves the staffing plan, so I should know. If people would ask me, instead of reading
the negative, whining lies at this site, they would know the facts, too.
If people really cared about job security, they would be meeting and exceeding their work goals,
rather than wasting their time in rumor-mongering on message boards. Hard work: that’s the key to
success!
5. The True Story about Lay-Offs
Author: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, 23 May
Whenever there is a merger or acquisition, rumors fly. It’s human nature to turn to rumors when a situation
seems uncertain. The case of Acme acquiring Best Products is no exception, so I’m not surprised to see
rumors about layoffs posted on this message board.
Have no fear! I am working closely with our CEO and with the CEO and human resource manager at
Best Products, and we all agree that our current staff is a valuable asset to Acme, to Best, and to our
combined companies in the future. We have no plans to lay off any of our valued people. I will continue
monitoring this message board and will post messages as I am able to disclose more details about our
staffing plans. In the meantime, employees should watch for official information in the company newsletter
and on our intranet.
We care about our people! If employees ever have questions about our plans and policies, they should
contact me directly.
L. Ed Zeplin, HR Manager
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 17loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 17 19/12/12 3:57 PM19/12/12 3:57 PM
Confirming pages
18 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
A complete sentence has a subject and a verb. If either the sub-
ject or the verb is missing, the result is a sentence fragment.
The job candidates.
Passed seven rounds of interviews.
And have taken three tests.
To fix the fragment, join it to other words to make a complete
sentence.
The job candidates passed seven rounds of interviews and
have taken three tests.
Sentence fragments also occur when a clause has both a subject
and a verb but is unable to stand by itself as a complete sentence.
Although I read my e-mail
Because she had saved her work
If he upgrades his computer
The words although, because, and since make the clause subordi- nate, which means the clause cannot stand alone. It must be joined
to a main clause.
Although I read my e-mail, I did not respond to the draft of
the proposal.
Because she had saved her work, Paula was able to restore it
after the crash.
If he upgrades his computer, he will be able to use the new
software.
Words that make clauses subordinate are
after if
although, though when, whenever
because, since while, as
before, until
Even sentences that have a subject and verb and are not subordinate
may seem fragmentary in thought.
The computer is.
I need.
She transfers.
Add more information to make the sentence clear.
The computer is the latest model.
I need more letterhead.
She transfers to the logistics department on Tuesday.
Sometimes fragments are OK. For instance, fragments are
used in résumés, advertisements, and some sales and fund-raising
letters. However, fragments are inappropriate for most business
documents. Because they are incomplete, they can confuse or
mislead readers.
But the biggest problem with grammatical errors like sentence
fragments is that readers sometimes assume that people who make
errors are unprofessional or unpromotable (▶▶ Module 14). Of course, using “incorrect” grammar has nothing to do with intel-
ligence, but many people nevertheless use grammar as a yardstick.
People who cannot measure up to that yardstick may be stuck in
low-level jobs.
Exercises
Make the following sentence fragments into complete sentences.
1. Making the most of a difficult situation.
2. The latest word processing app.
3. Mia, who recently graduated from business school.
4. Because Terrence will be in Portland for the day.
5. Downloading a patch for that software glitch.
6. Whenever Joyce gets a chance to review the file.
7. The vice president of our Chicago office, Ajay Sajda.
8. More than 20 years of IT experience, including consulting
overseas.
9. Tweeted an invitation for the reception at the Four Seasons
Hotel.
10. Chloe, certain the manufacturing license will be granted by
July 2.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Sentence Fragments
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 18loc03261_ch01_001-018.indd 18 19/12/12 3:57 PM19/12/12 3:57 PM
Confirming pages
19
U nderstanding your audience is fundamental to the success of any message. You need to adapt
your message to fit the audience’s goals, interests, and needs.
Analyzing your audience and adapting your message can be done in a cynical, manipulative way.
It can also be done in a sensitive, empathic, ethical way. Audiences have a keen sense for messages
that try to manipulate them; empathic analysis and adaptation are almost always more successful, as
well as being more ethical.
Some students pride themselves on their “honesty” in not adapting their discourse to anyone and
in criticizing their bosses as sharply as they might younger brothers and sisters. But almost all organi-
zations expect deference to people in authority. And customers have enough options to deal only with
companies that treat them respectfully.
With the rapid pace of communication today, analyzing audiences is a must. Before sending that
next tweet or e-mail message, for instance, think carefully about all of the audiences that may read it.
Do your best, but should mistakes happen, learn from them. Careful audience analysis combined with
experience will help you to avoid problems.
LO 2-1 Understand expectations from your organization.
LO 2-2 Define audiences for messages.
LO 2-3 Apply strategies for audience analysis with PAIBOC.
LO 2-4 Apply strategies for individual and group audience analyses.
LO 2-5 Apply strategies for audience needs analysis.
LO 2-6 Adapt messages for audiences.
LO 2-7 Choose channels for audiences.
Module 2 can help you best meet the needs of your audiences for communication. After completing
the module, you should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience
Module
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 19loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 19 19/12/12 8:25 PM19/12/12 8:25 PM
Confirming pages
20
Understanding What Your Organization Wants LO 2-1
Building a Critical Skill
Michelle wondered whether her boss was sexist. Everyone else
who had joined the organization when she did had been pro-
moted. Her boss never seemed to have anything good to say
about her or her work.
Michelle didn’t realize that, in her boss’s eyes, she wasn’t
doing good work. Michelle was proud of her reports; she
thought she was the best writer in the office. But her boss val-
ued punctuality, and Michelle’s reports were always late.
Just as every sport has rules about scoring, so, too, do work-
places have rules about what “counts.” Even in the same indus-
try, different organizations and different supervisors may care
about different things. One boss circles misspelled words and
posts the offending message on a bulletin board for everyone
to see. Other people are more tolerant of errors. One company
values original ideas, while another workplace tells employees
just to do what they’re told. One supervisor likes technology
and always buys the latest hardware and software; another is
technophobic and has to be persuaded to get needed upgrades.
Succeeding in an organization depends first on understand-
ing what “counts” at your organization. To find out what counts
in your organization:
• Ask your boss, “What parts of my job are most important?
What’s the biggest thing I could do to improve my work?”
• Listen to the stories colleagues tell about people who have
succeeded and those who have failed. When you see pat-
terns, check for confirmation: “So his real problem was that
he didn’t socialize with co-workers?” This gives your col-
leagues a chance to provide feedback: “Well, it was more
than never joining us for lunch. He didn’t really seem to care
about the company.”
• Observe. See who is praised, who is promoted.
Understanding, by the way, can and should be a two-way
street. Online shoe retailer Zappos.com listened to employees
who said they wanted a workplace that is more accommodat-
ing to their lifestyle. The result was a nap room for a quick
snooze and social events that include after-hours mixers and
lighthearted “parades” in the office. With $1 billion in sales in
2009 alone, the company also encourages its 1,500 employees
to tweet about Zappos and hosts free daily tours of its Las Vegas
headquarters. The work still gets done. In 2012, Zappos was
named one of CNNMoney’s 100 Best Companies to Work For.
Source: Morley Safer, “The ‘Millennials’ Are Coming,” 60 Minutes, November 11, 2007; and Jake Chessum, “How to Make Customers Love
You,” Inc., 2010. Downloaded on February 12, 2010, at http://www.inc. com/ss/how-to-make-customers-love-you ; and “100 Best Companies
to Work For,” CNNMoney, February 6, 2012, http://money.cnn.com/ magazines/fortune/bestcompanies/2012/snapshots/11.html .
Who is my audience? LO 2-2
▶ More people than you might think!
In an organizational setting, a message may have five separate audiences. 1
1. The primary audience will decide whether to accept your recommendations or will act on the basis of your message. You must reach the decision maker to fulfill your
purposes.
2. The secondary audience may be asked to comment on your message or to implement your ideas after they’ve been approved. Secondary audiences can also include lawyers
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 20loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 20 19/12/12 8:25 PM19/12/12 8:25 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 21
who may use your message—perhaps years later—as evidence of your organization’s
culture and practices.
3. The initial audience receives the message first and routes it to other audiences. Sometimes the initial audience also tells you to write the message.
4. A gatekeeper has the power to stop your message before it gets to the primary audience. A secretary who decides who gets to speak to or see the boss is a gatekeeper.
Sometimes the supervisor who assigns the message is also the gatekeeper; however,
sometimes the gatekeeper is higher in the organization. In some cases, gatekeepers
exist outside the organization.
5. A watchdog audience, though it does not have the power to stop the message and will not act directly on it, has political, social, or economic power. The watchdog pays close
attention to the transaction between you and the primary audience and may base future
actions on its evaluation of your message.
As the charts in Figures 2.1 and 2.2 show, one person or group can be part of two audi-
ences. Frequently, a supervisor is both the initial audience and the gatekeeper. Sometimes
the initial audience is also the primary audience that will act on the message.
Figure 2.1 The Audiences for a Marketing Plan
Writer An account executive in an ad agency
Initial audience Her boss, who asks her to write the plan
Gatekeeper Her boss, who must approve the plan before it goes to the client
Primary audience The executive committee of the client company, which will decide
whether to adopt the plan
Secondary audiences The marketing staff of the client company, who will be asked for
comments on the plan
The artists, writers, and media buyers who will implement the plan if
it is accepted
Figure 2.2 The Audiences for a Consulting Report
Writers Two workers at a consulting think tank
Initial audience A consortium of manufacturers, which hires the think tank
to investigate how proposed federal regulations would affect
manufacturing, safety, and cost
Gatekeeper The consortium. If the consortium doesn’t like the report, it won’t
send it on to the federal government.
Primary audience The federal government agency that regulates this consumer
product. It will set new regulations based in part (the manufacturers
hope) on this report. Within this audience are economists, engineers,
and policymakers.
Secondary audiences The general public
Other manufacturers of the product
Other clients and potential clients of the consulting think tank
The consulting think tank’s competitors
Watchdog audience Industry reviewers who read drafts of the report and commented on
it. Although they had no direct power over this report, their goodwill
was important for the consulting company’s image—and its future
contracts. Their comments were the ones that authors took more
seriously as they revised their drafts.
In what can at best be
described as a baffling
move, Nivea for Men ran
an advertisement in Esquire
suggesting men “re-civilize”
themselves, complete with an
image of a man in business
casual clothes tossing away
a head with a beard and Afro.
The company later apologized
for the ad, which prompted
public outcry. Even if some
audiences are untroubled by
the content of a message,
good communicators take
into consideration all of the
audiences for that message.
At the very least, they should
re-think messages that appeal
to some audiences at the
expense of other audiences.
Source: Ellen Tumposky, “Nivea for Men Pulls Plug on Ad It Calls
‘Offensive,’” ABC News, August 19,
2011, http://abcnews.go.com/
Business/nivea-men-pulls-
plug-ad-calls-offensive/
story?id=14342539 .
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 21loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 21 19/12/12 8:25 PM19/12/12 8:25 PM
Confirming pages
22 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Instant Replay
Five Kinds of Audiences
Initial
Is first to receive the message;
may assign message.
Gatekeeper
Has the power to stop the
message before it gets to
primary audience.
Primary
Decides whether to accept
recommendations; acts.
Secondary
Comments on message or
implements recommendations.
Watchdog
Has political, social, or
economic power; may base
future actions on its evaluation
of your message.
Why is my audience so important? LO 2-3
▶ To be successful, messages must meet the audiences’ needs.
Good business communication is audience-centered. Audience is central to both PAIBOC
and to the communication process.
Audience and PAIBOC
Think about the PAIBOC questions in Module 1 (▶▶ p. 12). Of the six questions, the five in blue relate to audience.
P What are your purposes in writing or speaking? Your purposes come from you and your organization. Your audience determines
how you achieve those purposes, but not what the purposes are.
A Who is (are) your audience(s)? How do members of your audience differ? What characteristics are relevant to this particular message?
These questions ask directly about your audience.
I What information must your message include? The information you need to give depends on your audience. You need to say more
when the topic is new to your audience. If your audience has heard something
but may have forgotten it, you’ll want to protect readers’ egos by saying “As
you know,” or putting the information in a subordinate clause: “Because we had
delivery problems last quarter, . . . .”
B What reasons or reader benefits can you use to support your position? What counts as a good reason and what is a benefit depends on your audience. For
some audiences, personal experience counts as a good reason. Other audiences
are more persuaded by scientific studies or by experts. For some people, saving
money is a good benefit of growing vegetables. Other people may care less about
the money than about avoiding chemicals, growing varieties that aren’t available
in grocery stores, or working outside in the fresh air. ▶▶ Module 8 gives more information on developing reader benefits.
Carl Caspers understands the
market for Harmony Systems’
prostheses because he is part of
it. Often, however, you’ll have to
analyze audiences of which you
are not a part.
On his blog, Robert Greene,
who co-wrote the best-selling
The 50th Law with musician
50 Cent, notes the performer’s
four principles for reaching
his audience. Among them is
to “crush as much distance
as possible between you and
your audience,” reaching
people and their inner lives and
reflecting their spirit in your
message.
Source: Robert Greene, “Four Things 50 Cent Can Teach You About
Connecting with Your Audience,”
downloaded on February 16, 2010,
at http://www.copyblogger.com/
robert-greene-50-cent/ .
I R
Five Kinds o
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 22loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 22 19/12/12 8:25 PM19/12/12 8:25 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 23
O What objection(s) can you expect your reader(s) to have? What negative elements of your message must you deemphasize or overcome?
Different audiences will have different attitudes. One audience may object to a
price increase. Another audience may expect price changes as routine and not
be bothered by them. ▶▶ Module 12 on persuasion gives more information on overcoming objections.
C How will the context affect reader response? Think about your relationship to the reader, morale in the organization, the economy, the time of year, and any special
circumstances.
People exist in a context. How well they know you, how they feel about you and
your organization, how well the economy is doing, even what’s been in the news
recently will all influence the way they respond to your message.
Audience and the Communication Process
Audience is also central to the communication process.
The following model of the communication process drastically simplifies what is per-
haps the most complex of human activities. However, even a simplified model can give us
a sense of the complexity of the communication process. And the model is useful in help-
ing us see where and why miscommunication occurs. Figure 2.3 shows the basic process
that occurs when one person tries to communicate ideas to someone else.
The process begins when Person A (let’s call him Alex) perceives some stimulus. Here we are talking about literal perception: the ability to see, to hear, to taste, to smell,
to touch. Next, Alex interprets what he has perceived. Is it important? Unusual? The next step is for Alex to choose or select the information he wishes to send to Person B (whom we’ll call Barbara). Now Alex is ready to put his ideas into words. (Some
people argue that we can think only in words and would put this stage before interpre-
tation and choice.) Words are not the only way to convey ideas; gestures, clothing, and
pictures can carry meaning nonverbally. The stage of putting ideas into any of these
symbols is called encoding. Then Alex must transmit the message to Barbara using some channel. Channels include memos, phone calls, meetings, billboards, TV ads, and e-mail, to name just a few.
To receive the message, Barbara must first perceive it. Then she must decode it, that is, extract meaning from the symbols. Barbara then repeats the steps Alex has gone through:
Understanding potential
objections from audiences
requires thinking about the
context of the situation,
including timing. When the
Cedar River flooded his
home with 13 feet of water
and destroyed most of his
possessions, Justin Van Fleet
asked for help from the Federal
Emergency Management
Agency (FEMA). He was living
in a FEMA trailer when, after
repeated applications, he was
granted more than $20,000
from the agency. The following
March, however, Van Fleet
received a letter from FEMA
stating he should never have
received the money and had
30 days to repay it. The agency
admitted to such mistakes but
also noted by law it’s required
to recover funds—little comfort
to thousands of Americans
who collectively received more
than $22 million because of
FEMA errors.
Source: Ryan J. Foley, “FEMA Asks for Return of Disaster Aid,”
May 10, 2011, http://news.yahoo
.com/s/ap/20110510/ap_on_re_us/
us_fema_reclaiming_aid .
Figure 2.3 A Model of
Two-Person Communication
with Feedback
*Noise (and miscommunication) can occur here.
Reality
*Perception
*Interpretation
*Choice/Selection
*Encoding
*Perception
*Interpretation
*Choice/Selection
*Encoding
*Decoding Person
B
*Feedback
Person A
Stimulus
*Transmission through a Channel
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 23loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 23 19/12/12 8:25 PM19/12/12 8:25 PM
Confirming pages
24 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
interpreting the information, choosing a response, and encoding it. The response Barbara
sends to Alex is called feedback. Feedback may be direct and immediate or indirect and delayed; it may be verbal or nonverbal.
Noise can interfere with every aspect of the communication process. Noise may be physical or psychological. Physical noise could be a phone line with static, a lawn mower
roaring outside a classroom, or handwriting that is hard to read. Psychological noise could
include disliking a speaker, being concerned about something other than the message, or
already having one’s mind made up on an issue.
Channel overload occurs when the channel cannot handle all the messages that are being sent. A small business may have only two phone lines; no one else can get through if
both lines are in use. Information overload occurs when more messages are transmitted than the human receiver can handle. Some receivers process information “first come, first
served.” Some may try to select the most important messages and ignore others. A third
way is to depend on abstracts or summaries prepared by other people. None of these ways
is completely satisfactory.
At every stage, both Alex and Barbara could misperceive, misinterpret, choose badly,
encode poorly, or choose inappropriate channels. Miscommunication can also occur
because different people have different frames of reference. We always interpret messages
in light of our personal experiences, our cultures and subcultures, and even the point in
history at which we live.
Successful communication depends on the common ground between you and your
audience. Choose information that your audience needs and will find interesting. Encode
your message in words and other symbols the audience will understand. Transmit the mes-
sage along a channel that your audience will attend to.
What do I need to know about my audience(s)? LO 2-4
▶ Everything that’s relevant to what you’re writing or talking about.
Almost everything about your audience is relevant to some message. But for any particular
message, only a few facts about your audience will be relevant.
Since the factors that matter vary depending on the situation, no one-size-fits-all list
of questions for audience analysis exists. In general, you need to use common sense and
empathy. Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, to feel with that person. Empathy requires not being self-centered because, in all probability, the audience
is not just like you. Use what you know about people and about organizations to predict likely responses.
Analyzing Individuals and Members of Groups
When you write or speak to people in your own organization and in other organizations
you work closely with, you may be able to analyze your audience as individuals. You may
already know your audience; it will usually be easy to get additional information by talk-
ing to members of your audience, talking to people who know your audience, and observ-
ing your audience.
In other organizational situations, you’ll analyze your audience as members of a group:
“taxpayers who must be notified that they owe more income tax,” “customers living in the
northeast side of the city,” or “employees with small children.”
Information that is most often helpful includes the following:
• How much the audience knows about your topic
• Demographic factors, such as age, income, number of children, and so forth
• Personality
• Values and beliefs
• Past behavior
A test question featuring a
talking pineapple ended up
baffling eighth graders on a
recent standardized exam.
Though offered in the context of
a fable, the concept of a piece
of fruit challenging anyone to
a race so confused students
that the question ultimately was
thrown out. Care must be taken
to anticipate how audiences
will understand or interpret
communication, especially if it
presents unusual ideas.
Source: Valerie Strauss, “‘‘Talking Pineapple Question on Standardized
Test Baffles Students,” The
Washington Post, April 20, 2012,
http://www.washingtonpost.com/
blogs/answer-sheet/post/talking-
pineapple-question-on-standardized-
test-baffles-students/2012/04/20/
gIQA8i01VT_blog.html .
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 24loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 24 19/12/12 8:26 PM19/12/12 8:26 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 25
Message/Purpose Audience Relevant Factors
Memo announcing that the
company will reimburse
employees for tuition if they
take work-related college
courses
All employees • Attitudes toward education (some people find courses fun;
others may be intimidated)
• Time available (some may be too busy)
• Interest in being promoted or in getting cross-training
• Attitude toward company (those committed to its success will be
more interested in program)
Letter offering special
financing on a new or used
car
College
students • Income
• Expectations of future income (and ability to repay loan)
• Interest in having a new car
• Attitude toward cars offered by that dealership
• Knowledge of interest rates
• Access to other kinds of financing
Letter giving a meeting
agenda and saying that you
will bring your child along
Client • How well the client knows you
• How much the client likes you
• How important agenda items are to the client
• How the client feels about children
• Physical space for meeting (room for child to play)
Knowledge
Even people in your own organization won’t share all your knowledge. USAA provides
insurance to military personnel and their families, but not all the 22,000 people who work
there know insurance jargon. 2
Most of the time, you won’t know exactly what your audience knows. Moreover, even if
you’ve told readers before, they may not remember the old information when they read the
new message. To remind readers of information in a tactful way,
• Preface statements with “As you know,” “As you may know,” or a similar phrase.
• Spell out acronyms the first time you use them: “Employee Stock Ownership Plan
(ESOP).”
• Give brief definitions in the text: “the principal—the money you have invested—.”
• Put information readers should know in a subordinate clause: “Because the renovation
is behind schedule, . . .”
Demographic Factors
Demographic characteristics are measurable features that can be counted objectively: age, sex, race, religion, education level, income, and so on.
Sometimes demographic information is irrelevant; sometimes it’s important. Does age
matter? Most of the time, probably not. (Mick Jagger is more than 60 years old, but he
probably doesn’t subscribe to Modern Maturity. ) On the other hand, if you were explaining a change in your company’s pension plan, you’d expect older workers to be more con-
cerned than younger workers.
Business and nonprofit organizations get demographic data by surveying their
customers, clients, and donors; by using U.S. census data; or by purchasing demographic
Site to See
Go to
http://www.census.gov/
for demographic information
about the U.S. population
and more. To get information
on your community, click on
“American Factfinder.”
When Louisiana Representative
John Fleming downplayed his
annual income of $6 million
on MSNBC while discussing
his opposition to taxes on the
rich, he raised the eyebrows
of interviewer Chris Jansing.
Fleming pointed out he
actually takes home only about
$600,000, with $200,000
less after meeting living
expenses, to which Lansing
stated, “You do understand,
congressman, that the average
person out there who’s making
maybe 40, 50, $60,000 out
there, when they hear you
only have $400,000 left over,
it’s not exactly a sympathetic
position.” How audiences
interpret messages depends
on both the facts being
presented and their emotional
reactions to them.
Source: Chris Moody, “Rep. John Fleming Fields Criticism
Over 600K Income,” September
20, 2011, http://news.yahoo
.com/blogs/ticket/rep-john-
fleming-field-criticism-over-600k-
income-153305241.html .
Go to
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 25loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 25 19/12/12 8:26 PM19/12/12 8:26 PM
Confirming pages
26 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
data from marketing companies. For many messages, simply identifying subsets of your
audience is enough. For example, a school board trying to win support for a tax increase
knows that not everyone living in the district will have children in school. It isn’t necessary
to know the exact percentages to realize that successful messages will need to appeal not
only to parents but also to voters who won’t directly benefit from the improvements that
the tax increase will fund.
Personality
When your primary audience is just one person, his or her personality is relevant. There
are many ways to analyze personality. For business, one of the most useful is the Myers- Briggs Type Indicator ® instrument, which uses four pairs of dichotomies to identify ways that people differ.
3
• Extraversion–Introversion: where someone gets energy. Introverted types get their energy from within; extraverted types are energized by interacting with other people.
• Sensing–Intuition: how someone gets information. Sensing types gather information through their senses, preferring what is real and tangible. Intuitive types prefer to look
at the big picture, focusing on the relationships and connections between facts.
• Thinking–Feeling: how someone makes decisions. Thinking types consider logical consequences of an action to reach decisions. Feeling types make decisions based on
the impact to people.
• Judging–Perceiving: how someone orients himself or herself to the external world. Judging types like to live in a planned, orderly way, seeking closure. Perceiving types
prefer a flexible environment, enjoying possibilities.
Some businesses administer the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator ®
instrument to all
employees. They find that results can be used to assist with team building and/or personal
growth and development.
Knowing your audience’s personality type can help you select the appropriate channel
and craft your message. For instance, an introvert might want a written message because
it favors contemplation, while an extravert might instead prefer the dynamics of a phone
call or face-to-face meeting. Sensitive types look for detailed facts, arranged sequentially
so they can judge each accordingly, while intuitive types want to know the overall situation
first to then apply creative solutions.
You’ll be most persuasive if you play to your audience’s strengths. Indeed, many of the
general principles of business communication reflect the types most common among man-
agers. Putting the main point up front satisfies the needs of judging types, and some 75%
of U.S. managers are judging. Giving logical reasons satisfies the needs of the nearly 80%
of U.S. managers who are thinking types. 4
Know that human beings are also adaptable. For instance, some research suggests that
while only 50% of Americans are estimated to be extraverts, the vast majority of managers
and executives demonstrate extraverted personality traits. 5 Introverts can learn many of the
associated behaviors, even if they’re not their inclination.
Values and Beliefs
Psychographic characteristics are qualitative rather than quantitative: values, beliefs, goals, and lifestyles. For example, two families living next door to each other might make about
the same amount of money and each have two children. But one family might save every
possible penny for college and retirement, taking inexpensive vacations and cooking meals
at home rather than eating out. The other family might spend almost everything they make
on clothes, cars, vacations, entertainment, and dinners out. One family might do most things
together as a family, while in the other members might spend most of their time on indi-
vidual activities. The families might have different religious and political beliefs.
If you wanted to persuade each family to do the same thing, you might need to use
different reasons and reader benefits; you would have different objections to overcome.
Keep audiences in mind when
using social networking sites.
Lee Landor, deputy press
secretary to Scott M. Stringer,
Manhattan borough president,
resigned after her reference
to President Barack Obama
as “O-dumb-a” and racially
tinged comments during a
heated exchange about the
arrest of Harvard scholar Henry
Louis Gates, Jr., on Facebook
became public. Her situation
rivals that of a woman in the
United Kingdom who posted
“OMG I HATE MY JOB!” after
insulting her boss . . . and then
found out he was a Facebook
friend. She not only lost the
job with two weeks left on
her probationary period, but
the exchange went viral on
the web.
Source: Sewell Chan, “Facebook Postings Prompt Quick Exit of a
City Politician’s Aide,” The New
York Times, July 28, 2009, http://
www.nytimes.com/2009/07/29/
nyregion/29fired.html?_r=2 ;
and Marisa Taylor, “The Perils
of Oversharing on Facebook,”
The Wall Street Journal, August
21, 2009, http://blogs.wsj.com/
digits/2009/08/21/the-perils-of-
oversharing-on-facebook/ .
Site to See
Go to
www.claritas.com/ MyBestSegments/ Default.jsp?ID=20
Key in your Zip code to learn
which psychographic groups
are most common in your
neighborhood.
Go to
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 26loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 26 19/12/12 8:26 PM19/12/12 8:26 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 27
Knowing what your audience finds important allows you to organize information in a way
that seems natural to your audience and to choose appeals that audience members will find
persuasive.
Many marketers use the Values and Lifestyles (VALS) profiles developed by the SRI research firm in California. VALS profiles divide U.S. buyers into eight categories accord-
ing to their primary motivation, the amount of resources they have, and the extent to which
they innovate. For instance, Strivers are motivated by achievement and are relatively low
in resources and innovation. These conspicuous consumers try to be in style, even without
a lot of money.
Innovators, on the other hand, may have more disposable income and enjoy cooking
and fine food. As Patricia Breman, a senior consultant for SRI Consulting Business Intelli-
gence, points out, Innovators may be an excellent target market for upscale grocery stores. 6
The other VALS categories are Thinkers, Believers, Achievers, Experiencers, Makers,
and Survivors. 7
Researcher Mary Modahl’s survey of 250,000 households found that online buying
depends not on demographics such as age and Zip code but on psychographics: the con-
sumer’s attitude toward technology along a continuum from “profoundly suspicious” to
“eagerly accepting.” 8
Past Behavior
How people have behaved in the past often predicts how they’ll behave in the future. For
example, examining records of customer purchases showed Fingerhut that customers who
moved made large purchases of furniture and decorations. Fingerhut developed a “mover’s
catalog” filled with products likely to appeal to this group—and saved money by not mail-
ing other catalogs to this group right after they moved. 9
Analyzing People in Organizations
Your reader’s reaction is affected not only by his or her personal preferences and feelings but
also by the discourse communities to which the reader belongs and by the organizational culture.
Ken Blanchard is now a
successful business writer with
a track record of bestsellers,
including The One Minute
Manager, but people used
to tell him he wrote poorly.
Blanchard has said that when
he was a student in graduate
school, professors told him he
could not write well enough
to succeed as a college
professor. But he adds, “Later
I learned that the problem with
my writing from their point
of view was that you could
understand it, which meant it
wasn’t academic enough.” At
the time, however, he accepted
the advice and pursued a
career in administration. To
date, Blanchard’s books have
sold more than 20 million
copies. His latest is Great
Leaders Grow: Becoming a
Leader in Life.
Source: Based on Kevin Ryan, Write Up the Corporate Ladder
(New York: Amacom, 2003),
126–27; and Dan Schawbel, “Ken
Blanchard on How Great Leaders
Grow,” Forbes, March 1, 2012,
http://www.forbes.com/sites/
danschawbel/2012/03/01/ken-
blanchard-on-howgreat-leaders-
grow/ .
Some aspects of corporate culture may no longer serve an obvious purpose.
“I don’t know how it started, either. All I know is that it’s part of our corporate culture.”
Copyright © 1994 Mick Stevens/The New Yorker Collection, www.cartoonbank.com .
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 27loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 27 19/12/12 8:26 PM19/12/12 8:26 PM
Confirming pages
28 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
A discourse community is a group of people who share assumptions about what chan- nels, formats, and styles to use, what topics to discuss and how to discuss them, and what
constitutes evidence. Each person is part of several discourse communities, which may or
may not overlap.
To analyze an organization’s discourse community, ask the following questions:
• What channels, formats, and styles are preferred for communication? Do you write a
paper memo, send e-mail, or walk down the hall to talk to someone? How formal or
informal are you supposed to be?
• What do people talk about? What is not discussed?
• What kind of and how much evidence is needed to be convincing? Is personal experience
convincing? Do you need numbers and formal research?
Procter & Gamble’s discourse community requires that recommendations be just one
page. So writers create one-page memos—and then add as many pages of “attachments” as
they need. In contrast, a Silicon Valley company expects recommendations to be presented
as a PowerPoint slide with a triangle with three words around it.
An organization’s culture is its values, attitudes, and philosophies. Organizational culture (or corporate culture, as it is often called; ▶▶ Module 3) is revealed verbally in the organization’s myths, stories, and heroes and nonverbally in the allocation of space,
money, and power.
The following questions will help you analyze an organization’s culture:
• What are the organization’s goals? Making money? Serving customers and clients?
Advancing knowledge? Contributing to the community?
• What does the organization value? Diversity or homogeneity? Independence or being a
team player? Creativity or following orders?
• How do people get ahead? Are rewards based on seniority, education, being well-liked,
making technical discoveries, or serving customers? Are rewards available to only a few
top people, or is everyone expected to succeed?
• How formal are behavior, language, and dress?
Two companies in the same field may have very different cultures. To compare corporate
cultures, Cecilia Rothenberger reviewed how two executives described their own organiza-
tions. 10
According to her, Andersen Consulting, which employs 65,000 people in 48 coun-
tries, values compensation, bonuses, prestige, resources, and rewards; the 35-person Creative
Good firm values communication, relationships, creativity, and growth. Researcher Jennifer
Chatman found that new hires who “fit” a company’s culture were more likely to stay with
the job, be more productive, and be more satisfied than those who did not fit the culture. 11
Organizations can have subcultures. For example, manufacturing and marketing may
represent different subcultures in the same organization: workers may dress differently and
have different values.
You can learn about organizational culture by observing people and by listening to the
stories they tell. Here are two of the stories Nike’s leaders tell.
When State Department
spokesman P.J. Crowley called
the U.S. Army’s treatment
of a soldier suspected of
collaborating with Wikileaks
“stupid” and “ridiculous,” he
may have been speaking
off the cuff. But the remarks
generated enough criticism
that Crowley later resigned,
illustrating among other
things the need to carefully
weigh audience when
communicating. In particular,
consider organizational
culture and discourse
community—a comment that
might be acceptable to one
group may be unacceptable
to another, even if that group
includes peers.
Source: Matthew Lee, “Clinton Spokesman Resigns After
Wikileaks Flap,” MSNBC, March
13, 2011, http://www.msnbc.msn
.com/id/42060000/ns/politics-
more_politics/t/clinton-spokesman-
resigns-after-wikileaks-flap/#.
UAsP47Se6tw .
Story Lesson
Coach Bowerman (a company co-founder)
decided his team needed better running shoes.
So he went into his workshop and poured
rubber into the family waffle iron to create a
waffle sole.
Nike is committed to innovation.
Steve Prefontaine (a runner and another
co-founder) worked to make running a
professional sport and to get better-performing
equipment.
Nike is committed to helping athletes.
Instant Replay
Discourse Community
A discourse community is a group of people who share
assumptions about what
channels, formats, and styles
to use, what topics to discuss
and how to discuss them, and
what constitutes evidence.
I R
Discourse C
You can also learn about a company’s culture by looking at its website. Many compa-
nies try to describe their cultures, usually as part of the section on employment.
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 28loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 28 19/12/12 8:26 PM19/12/12 8:26 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 29
Now that I have my analysis, what do I do with it? LO 2-5
▶ Use it to plan strategy, organization, style, document design, and visuals.
If you know your audience well and if you use words well, much of your audience analysis
and adaptation will be unconscious. If you don’t know your audience or if the message is
very important, take the time to analyze your audience formally and to revise your draft
with your analysis in mind.
You can adapt your message’s strategy, organization, and style to meet the audience’s
needs. For paper or electronic documents, you can also adapt the document’s design and
the photos or illustrations you choose.
Strategy
• Make the action as easy as possible.
• Protect the reader’s ego.
• Decide how to balance logic and emotion, what details to use, and whether to use a hard-
sell or soft-sell approach based on the specific audience, the organizational culture, and
the discourse community.
• Choose appeals and reader benefits that work for the specific audience (▶▶ Module 8). • Modules 7, 11, and 13 will show you how to emphasize positive aspects, decide how
much information to include, and overcome obstacles.
Organization
• Because most managers are intuitive types, it’s usually better to get to the point right
away. The major exceptions are
• When we must persuade a reluctant reader.
• When we have bad news and want to let the reader down gradually.
• Make the organizational pattern clear to the audience. Modules 9, 23, and 24 show
you how to use headings and overviews. Module 20 shows how to use overviews and
signposts in oral presentations.
Style
• For most audiences, use easy-to-understand words, a mixture of sentence lengths, and
paragraphs with topic sentences (▶▶ Modules 15 and 16). • Avoid words that sound defensive or arrogant.
• Avoid hot buttons or “red-flag” words to which some readers will have an immediate
negative reaction: criminal, un-American, crazy, fundamentalist, liberal. • Use the language(s) that your audience knows best. In Quebec, messages are normally
presented both in English and in French. In the Southwest United States, messages may
be most effective printed in both English and Spanish.
• Use conversational, not “academic,” language.
“Terrifying,” “psychedelic,”
and “awesomely bad” were
among terms critics used to
describe an advertisement by
California Senate candidate
Carly Fiorina’s campaign
that attacked her opponent,
Tom Campbell. The video
combined live action with
animation to show a flock
of sheep infiltrated by a red-
eyed, costumed human.
While Michael Scherer in Time
notes the spot is “so weird
that you will click on it online,”
the question remains whether
getting attention is the same as
swaying the audience.
Source: Brett Michael Dykes, “Bizarre Attack Ad Heats Up
California Senate Race,” February
4, 2010, http://news.yahoo.com/s/
ynews/ynews_pl1112 .
To tap into youth markets,
companies are seeking advice
from people in the target
market. Natalie Rodriguez,
Heide Panglemaier, and Rosaura
Lezama offer their opinions
of marketers’ efforts through
3iying.com .
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 29loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 29 19/12/12 8:26 PM19/12/12 8:26 PM
Confirming pages
30 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Document Design
• Use lists, headings, and a mix of paragraph lengths to create white space.
• Choices about format, footnotes, and visuals may be determined by the organizational
culture or the discourse community.
• ▶▶ Module 5 for advice about effective document design.
Photographs and Visuals
• Use bias-free photographs and clip art (▶▶ Module 25). • Photos and visuals can make a document look more informal or more formal. Think of
the difference between cartoons and photos of “high art.”
• Some cultures (e.g., French, Japanese) use evocative photographs that bear little direct
relationship to the text. Most U.S. audiences expect photos that clearly relate to the text,
often with a caption that further reinforces the connection.
• For electronic and web documents, consider content and such issues as music or time to
download, especially with video or animation.
What if my audiences have different needs? LO 2-6
▶ Focus on gatekeepers and decision makers.
When the members of your audience share the same interests and the same level of
knowledge, you can use the principles outlined earlier for individual readers or for
members of homogenous groups. But often different members of the audience have
different needs.
When it is not possible to meet everyone’s needs, meet the needs of gatekeepers and
primary audiences first.
Content and Choice of Details
• Provide an overview or executive summary for readers who just want the main points.
• In the body of the document, provide enough detail for primary audiences and for
anyone else who could veto your proposal.
• If the primary audiences don’t need details that other audiences will want, provide those
details in appendices—statistical tabulations, earlier reports, and so forth.
Organization
• Use headings and a table of contents so readers can turn to the portions that interest them.
• Organize your message based on the primary audiences’ attitudes toward it.
Level of Formality
• Avoid personal pronouns. You ceases to have a specific meaning when several different audiences use a document.
• If both internal and external audiences will use a document, use a slightly more formal
style than you would in an internal document.
• Use a more formal style when you write to international audiences.
Use of Technical Terms and Theory
• In the body of the document, assume the degree of knowledge that primary audiences
will have.
• Put background information and theory under separate headings. Then readers can use
the headings and the table of contents to read or skip these sections, as their knowledge
dictates.
• If primary audiences will have more knowledge than other audiences, provide a glossary
of terms. Early in the document, let readers know that the glossary exists.
Instant Replay
Organizational Culture
An organization’s culture is its values, attitudes, and
philosophies. Organizational
culture (or corporate culture as it is also called) is revealed
verbally in the organization’s
myths, stories, and heroes and
nonverbally in the allocation of
space, money, and power.
Achieving buy-in from
audiences can be easier by
role-playing first with a friend
or colleague to test ideas and
prepare for possible objections.
That gives you the opportunity
to hone the approach.
Source: John Kotter, “If You Think You’re Prepared, Think Again,” The
Harvard Business Review, April
19, 2011, http://blogs.hbr.org/
kotter/2011/04/if-you-think-youre-
prepared-th.html .
I R
Organization
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 30loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 30 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 31
How do I reach my audience(s)? LO 2-7
▶ Important messages may require multiple channels.
Communication channels vary in
• Speed
• Accuracy of transmission
• Cost
• Number of messages carried
• Number of people reached
• Efficiency
• Ability to promote goodwill
The culture at software company Siebel Systems
is professional and competitive. Employees
can’t eat at their desks. Men wear suits; women
wear pantsuits or skirted suits with panty hose.
Employees are rated, and every year the lowest
5% are fired.
Sun Microsystems’ corporate culture fosters
informality and flexibility. Employees can use the
iWork computer facilities at various Sun drop-in
centers, or enroll in the work-from-home program.
This provides employees with flexible workplaces
and saves valuable driving time, enabling Sun
Microsystems to retain the best talent available.
Both companies are now owned by software giant
Oracle Corporation.
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 31loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 31 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
32 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Depending on your purposes, the audience, and the situation, one channel may be better
than another.
A written message makes it easier to
• Present many specific details of a law, policy, or procedure.
• Present extensive or complex financial data.
• Minimize undesirable emotions.
Messages on paper are more formal than e-mail messages. E-mail messages are appropri-
ate for routine messages to people you already know. Paper is usually better for someone
to whom you’re writing for the first time.
Oral messages make it easier to
• Answer questions, resolve conflicts, and build consensus.
• Use emotion to help persuade the audience.
• Get immediate action or response.
• Focus the audience’s attention on specific points.
• Modify a proposal that may not be acceptable in its original form.
Scheduled meetings and oral presentations are more formal than phone calls or stopping
someone in the hall.
Important messages should use more formal channels, whether they’re oral or written.
Oral and written messages have many similarities. In both, you should
• Adapt the message to the specific audience.
• Show the audience members how they benefit from the idea, policy, service, or product
(▶▶ Module 8). • Overcome any objections the audience may have.
• Use you-attitude and positive emphasis (▶▶ Modules 6 and 7). • Use visuals to clarify or emphasize material (▶▶ Module 25). • Specify exactly what the audience should do.
Even when everyone in an organization has access to the same channels, different dis-
course communities may prefer different ones. When a university updated its employee
benefits manual, the computer scientists and librarians wanted the information online. Fac-
ulty wanted to be able to read the information on paper. Maintenance workers and carpen-
ters wanted to get answers on voice mail. 12
The bigger your audience, the more complicated channel choice becomes because few
channels reach everyone in your target audience. When possible, use multiple channels.
Also use multiple channels for very important messages. For example, talk to key players
about a written document before the meeting where the document will be discussed.
The family of Sergeant Jesse
Jasper received a “red line”
phone call that he, along with
Sergeant Tyler Judin, had
been killed in action. What
they didn’t learn until hours
later was that Jasper was alive
and well. As a result, the U.S.
Army’s 82nd Airborne Division
is reconsidering how its family
readiness group notifies all
families of individual deaths
within the unit. While Jasper’s
father said, “I don’t know
why they would tell us about
someone else’s tragedy,” the
unit is considering revising
messages to start with “Your
son or daughter is fine” when
that is the case.
Source: Carolyn Thompson, “NY Dad Told Soldier-Son Killed in
War—He Wasn’t,” September 16,
2009, http://news.yahoo.com/s/
ap/20090916/ap_on_re_us/
us_afghanistan_not_dead .
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Succeeding in an organization depends first on understanding
what “counts” at your organization. To find out what counts in
your organization, ask your boss thoughtful questions, listen
to the stories colleagues tell about people who have succeeded
and those who have failed, and observe who is praised and pro-
moted. (LO 2-1) • The primary audience will make a decision or act on the basis
of your message. The secondary audience may be asked by the primary audience to comment on your message or to implement
your ideas after they’ve been approved. The initial audience routes the message to other audiences and may assign the mes-
sage. A gatekeeper controls whether the message gets to the primary audience. A watchdog audience has political, social,
or economic power and may base future actions on its evalua-
tion of your message. (LO 2-2) • A sender goes through the following steps: perception, inter-
pretation, choice or selection, encoding, transmitting the message through a channel. The receiver perceives the mes- sage, decodes it, interprets it, chooses a response, encodes the response, and transmits it. The message transmitted to the origi-
nal sender is called feedback. Noise is anything that interferes with communication; it can be both physical and psychological.
Miscommunication can occur at every point in the communica-
tion process. (LO 2-3) • Channel overload occurs when a channel cannot handle all
the messages being sent. Information overload occurs when
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 32loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 32 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 33
the receiver cannot process all the messages that arrive. Both
kinds of overload require some sort of selection to determine
which messages will be sent and which ones will be attended
to. (LO 2-3) • Common sense and empathy are crucial to good audience anal-
ysis. (LO 2-3) • A discourse community is a group of people who share
assumptions about what channels, formats, and styles to use,
what topics to discuss and how to discuss them, and what con-
stitutes evidence. (LO 2-4) • An organization’s culture is its values, attitudes, and philoso-
phies. Organizational culture is revealed verbally in the orga-
nization’s myths, stories, and heroes and nonverbally in the
allocation of space, money, and power. (LO 2-4) • Almost everything about your audience is relevant to some
message. But for any particular message, only a few facts about
your audience will be relevant. Use empathy to put yourself in “someone else’s shoes,” and look at such factors as knowledge,
demographics, personality, psychographics, past behavior, dis-
course community, and organizational culture. (LO 2-4)
• If you don’t know your audience or if the message is very
important, take the time to analyze your audience formally and
to revise your draft with your analysis in mind. You can adapt
your message’s strategy, organization, and style to meet the
audience’s needs. For paper or electronic documents, you can
also adapt the document’s design and the photos or illustrations
you choose. (LO 2-5) • When you write to multiple audiences, use the primary audi-
ence and the gatekeeper to determine level of detail, organiza-
tion, level of formality, and use of technical terms and theory.
(LO 2-6) • You can adapt your message’s strategy, organization, and style
to meet the audience’s needs. For paper or electronic docu-
ments, you can also adapt the document’s design and the photos
or illustrations you choose. (LO 2-6) • The best channel for a message will depend on the audience,
the sender’s purposes, and the situation. Channel choice may be
shaped by the organizational culture. (LO 2-7) • When you communicate to a big audience or talk about an
important topic, use multiple channels. (LO 2-7)
Assignments for Module 2
2.1 What are the five kinds of audiences? (LO 2-2)
2.2 What are ways to analyze your audience? (LO 2-3, LO 2-4)
2.3 What are three ways to adapt your message to your audience? (LO 2-5, LO 2-6)
Questions for Comprehension
2.4 Emphasizing the importance of audience, marketers fre- quently say, “The customer is in control.” To what extent do
you feel in control as a customer, a student, a citizen? What
actions could you take to increase your control? (LO 2-1 to LO 2-3)
2.5 If you are employed, which aspects of your organization’s culture match your own values? What kind of culture would
you like to join when you are next on the job market? (LO 2-1 to LO 2-3)
2.6 Why do internal audiences, especially your boss, some- times feel more important than primary audiences outside
your organization? (LO 2-1 to LO 2-3)
2.7 What are your options if your boss’s criteria for a document are different than those of the primary audience? (LO 2-1 to LO 2-3)
Questions for Critical Thinking
2.8 Identifying Audiences (LO 2-1 to LO 2-4)
In each of the following situations, label the audiences as
initial, gatekeeper, primary, secondary, or watchdog:
1. Andrea, a financial planner, wants to hold a dinner
seminar for married couples to help them with their
financial planning. Her specialty is setting up retire-
ment accounts, but she also wants to help parents save
money for their child’s college expenses. Before she
can hold her seminar, she has to make sure she has the
proper licensing and permits in her community as well
as schedule catering and meeting space at a local hotel
or business center. She has paid for a mailing list of 200
people and their spouses, with hopes that at least 30
couples will attend. As an enticement, she will award
several prizes, including theater tickets, a bicycle, and
a weekend vacation at a bed and breakfast, all donated
from local vendors who would like their businesses rec-
ognized at the seminar.
2. Carmale hopes to get a franchise for a casual dining res-
taurant. She will need to fill out an application with the
corporation and also show that she has secured a loan
for the balance of costs to build the restaurant.
3. Paul works for the mayor’s office in a big city. As part
of a citywide cost-cutting measure, a blue-ribbon panel
has recommended requiring employees who work more
than 40 hours in a week to take compensatory time off
rather than being paid overtime. The only exceptions
will be the police and fire departments. The mayor asks
Exercises and Problems
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 33loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 33 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
34 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Paul to prepare a proposal for the city council, which
will vote on whether to implement the change. Before
they vote, council members will hear from (1) citizens,
who will have an opportunity to read the proposal and
communicate their opinions to the city council; (2)
mayors’ offices in other cities that may be asked about
their experiences; (3) union representatives, who may
be concerned about the reduction in income that will
occur if the proposal is implemented; (4) department
heads, whose ability to schedule work might be limited
if the proposal passes; and (5) the blue-ribbon panel and
good-government lobbying groups. Council members
come up for reelection in six months.
2.9 Choosing a Channel to Reach a Specific Audience (LO 2-1 to LO 2-4)
Suppose that your business, government agency, or non-
profit group has a product, service, or program targeted
for each of the following audiences. What would be the
best channel(s) to reach people in that group in your city?
Would that channel reach all group members?
1. Commuters
2. Internet bulletin board users
3. Retired pilots
4. African Americans
5. Police officers
6. Asian-American voters
7. Outdoor enthusiasts
8. Financial planners
9. College freshmen
10. People thinking about a second career
2.10 Analyzing a Discourse Community (LO 2-1 to LO 2-4)
Analyze the way a group you are part of uses language.
Possible groups include
• Work teams
• Sports teams
• Honor organizations and other service or social groups
• Churches, synagogues, temples, and mosques
• Geographic or ethnic groups
• Groups of friends
Questions to ask include the following:
• What specialized terms might not be known to outsiders?
• What topics do members talk or write about? What top-
ics are considered unimportant or improper?
• What channels do members use to convey messages?
• What forms of language do members use to build good-
will? To demonstrate competence or superiority?
• What strategies or kinds of proof are convincing to
members?
• What formats, conventions, or rules do members expect
messages to follow?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your results orally with a small group of students.
b. Present your results in an oral presentation to the class.
c. Present your results in a memo to your instructor.
d. Share your results in an e-mail message to the class.
e. Share your results with a small group of students and
write a joint memo reporting the similarities and differ-
ences you found.
2.11 Analyzing an Organization’s Culture (LO 2-1 to LO 2-4)
Interview several people about the culture of their organiza-
tion. Possible organizations include
• Work teams
• Sports teams
• Honor organizations and other service or social groups
• Churches, synagogues, temples, and mosques
• Geographic or ethnic groups
• Groups of friends
Questions to ask include those in this module and the
following:
1. Tell me about someone in this organization you admire.
Why is he or she successful?
2. Tell me about someone who failed in this organization.
What did he or she do wrong?
3. What ceremonies and rituals does this organization
have? Why are they important?
4. Why would someone join this group rather than a
competitor?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your results orally with a small group of students.
b. Present your results in an oral presentation to the class.
c. Present your results in a memo to your instructor.
d. Share your results in an e-mail message to the class.
e. Share your results with a small group of students and
write a joint memo reporting the similarities and differ-
ences you found.
2.12 Analyzing the Audiences of Noncommercial Web Pages (LO 2-1 to LO 2-4)
Analyze the implied audiences of two web pages of two
noncommercial organizations with the same purpose
(combating hunger, improving health, influencing the
political process, etc.). You could pick pages of the national
organization and a local affiliate, or pages of two separate
organizations working toward the same general goal.
Answer the following questions:
• Do the pages work equally well for surfers and for peo-
ple who have reached the page deliberately?
• Possible audiences include current and potential
volunteers, donors, clients, and employees. Do the
pages provide material for each audience? Is the
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 34loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 34 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 35
material useful? Complete? Up-to-date? Does new mate-
rial encourage people to return?
• What assumptions about audience do content and visuals
suggest?
• Can you think of ways that the pages could better serve
their audiences?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your results orally with a small group of
students.
b. Present your results in an oral presentation to
the class.
c. Present your results in a memo to your instructor. Attach
copies of the web pages.
d. Share your results with a small group of students and
write a joint memo reporting the similarities and differ-
ences you found.
e. Post your results in an e-mail message to the class. Pro-
vide links to the two web pages.
2.13 Analyzing People in Your Organization (LO 2-1 to LO 2-4)
1. Analyze your supervisor.
• Does he or she like short or long explanations?
• Does he or she want to hear about all the problems in
a unit or only the major ones?
• How important are punctuality and deadlines?
• How well informed about a project does he or she
wish to be?
• Is he or she more approachable in the morning or the
afternoon?
• What are your supervisor’s major hassles?
2. Analyze other workers in your organization.
• Is work “just a job” or do most people really care
about the organization’s goals?
• How do workers feel about clients or customers?
• What are your co-workers’ major hassles?
3. Analyze your customers or clients.
• What attitudes do they have toward the organization
and its products or services?
• What are their major hassles?
• Do education, age, or other factors affect the way
they read?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Write a memo to your instructor summarizing your
analysis.
b. Discuss your analysis with a small group of students.
c. Present your analysis orally to the class.
d. Combine your information with classmates’ informa-
tion to present a collaborative report comparing and
contrasting your audiences at work.
2.14 Persuading a Lender to Defer Paying a Student Loan (LO 2-2)
Many college graduates today leave school with large debts
from student loans. Though the loans must be repaid, the
time to do so and the monthly payment are determined by the
lender. With a tough economy making it harder to find a job,
students may also find it harder to repay loans. Many lenders,
however, expect them to start doing so upon graduation. You
plan to request a deferral to start paying back your loan.
To do so, answer the following questions about your
audience.
• What is at stake for the lender if it defers the loan?
• What regulating bodies (e.g., state and federal govern-
ment) govern how a lender may alter the terms of a loan
agreement?
• What objections might a lender raise to deferring
the loan?
• What other resources might the lender suggest tapping in
order to repay the loan?
• What might the lender expect from you as a guarantee
that you will repay the loan after the deferral?
• What channel is the best way to reach the lender?
• What tone will work best in the message to the lender?
2.15 Sending a Question to a Website (LO 2-2, LO 2-3)
Send a question or other message that calls for a response to
a website. (▶▶ Problem 13.12.) You could
• Ask a question about a product.
• Apply for an internship or a job (assuming you’d really
like to work there).
• Ask for information about an internship or a job.
• Ask a question about an organization or a candidate
before you donate money or volunteer.
• Offer to volunteer for an organization or a candidate.
You can offer to do something small and one-time (e.g.,
spend an afternoon stuffing envelopes, put up a yard
sign), or you can, if you want to, offer to do something
more time-consuming or even ongoing.
Pick a specific organization you might use and answer
these questions about it.
• Does the organization ask for questions or offers? Or will
yours “come out of the blue”?
• How difficult will it be for the organization to supply the
information you’re asking for or to do what you’re ask-
ing it to do? If you’re applying for an internship or offer-
ing to volunteer, what skills can you offer? How much
competition do you have?
• What can you do to build your own credibility so the
organization takes your question or request seriously?
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 35loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 35 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
36 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
2.16 Convincing Your Organization to Allow Flex-Time for Students (LO 2-2, LO 2-3)
In filmmaking, editors might splice, or connect, two segments of film with tape to create one segment. A comma splice occurs when writers try to create one sentence by connecting two sentences with
only a comma.
Correct: We shipped the order on Tuesday. It arrived on Wednesday.
Incorrect: We shipped the order on Tuesday, it arrived on Wednesday. (comma splice)
Comma splices are almost always inappropriate in business com-
munication. (Poetry and fiction sometimes use comma splices to speed
up action or simulate dialect; some sales letters and advertisements use
comma splices for the same effect, though not always successfully.)
Fix a comma splice in one of four ways:
1. If the ideas in the sentences are closely related, use a
semicolon:
We shipped the order on Tuesday; it arrived on Wednesday.
2. Add a coordinating conjunction (such as and, or, or but ): We shipped the order on Tuesday, and it arrived on
Wednesday.
3. Make the incorrect sentence into two correct ones:
We shipped the order on Tuesday. It arrived on Wednesday.
4. Subordinate one of the clauses:
Because we shipped the order on Tuesday, it arrived on
Wednesday.
Comma Splices
Polishing Your Prose
2.17 Announcing Holiday Diversity (LO 2-2, LO 2-3)
To better respect the religious and ethnic diversity of your
employees, your organization will now allow employees to
take any 10 days off. (▶▶ Problem 13.9.) Any religious, ethnic, or cultural holiday is acceptable. (Someone who
wants to take off Cinco de Mayo or Bastille Day can do
so.) As Vice President for Human Resources, you need to
announce the policy.
Pick a specific organization you know something about
and answer these questions about it.
• What religious and ethnic groups do your employees
come from?
• How much do various groups know about each others’
holidays?
• What is the general climate for religious and ethnic toler-
ance? Should the message have a secondary purpose of
educating people about less-common holidays?
• Is your organization open every day of the year, or will
you be closed on some holidays (e.g., Christmas, New
Year’s Day)? If an employee chooses to work on a day
when offices or factories are closed, what should he or
she do? Work at home? Get a key? (How? From whom?)
What kinds of work could a person working alone most
profitably do?
Your organization has a generous tuition reimbursement
program, but currently employees must take classes outside of
regular business hours. You’ve noticed that many classes you
want or need at the local university are offered infrequently
during evenings and weekends. If a class is already full or you
have another commitment, you often have to wait months
before a seat is available. Your co-workers are similarly affected.
You plan to write a memo to upper management describ-
ing your solution: flex-time for full-time employees going
to school. Your solution would allow employees to resched-
ule up to five hours each week to take classes during work
hours. Employees could make up hours in the mornings,
evenings, or weekends and could only reschedule hours if
meetings and other work-related duties don’t conflict.
Pick an organization you know something about and
answer the following questions:
• What is the purpose of the tuition reimbursement program?
• How do employees benefit? How does the organization
benefit?
• Will it cost the company money or lost efficiency to offer
flex-time?
• What obstacles must be overcome regarding organiza-
tional culture?
• How will employee schedules be tracked? Who will be
responsible?
• How would you deal with the objection that employ-
ees could take distance-learning courses, such as those
offered on the web?
• What is the company’s competitive position? Is it grow-
ing? Shrinking?
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 36loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 36 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience 37
Exercises
Fix the comma splices in the following sentences.
1. Dress appropriately for your job interview, wear your best suit.
2. Wednesday was the last time we did anything on our Facebook
page, ask Sandy to post an update on our news feed, please.
3. Because of storms, Ethan’s flight was delayed, he arrived in
Tulsa 30 minutes after the ceremony started but was able to
give his speech.
4. Suri decided to hold the meeting online, that will save a con-
siderable amount of money in our travel budget.
5. We’ve narrowed down our hiring choices to Michael, Isabella,
and Dylan, we should schedule another round of interviews to
make our final decision.
6. The Purchasing Department needs copies of your receipts from the
Kyoto trip, if you submit them by Friday, you will be reimbursed.
7. Liudmila and Carlos developed the reorganization plan for
Gemma Infotech, in a display of interdepartmental coopera-
tion, Linda, Mehran, and Alex helped to revise it.
8. About an hour after the executive council meeting, we got a
call that the proposal had been accepted, needless to say, it
was great news for the team!
9. Dr. Faulkner, head of the Savannah research project, asked us
to send the report directly to the CDC, we should hear confir-
mation of the findings by April 20.
10. Lani Kapur, who graduated from Oxford University and spent
several years in Geneva, is fluent in French and German, she
would be an excellent candidate to lead the consulting team in
Western Europe.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 37loc03261_ch02_019-037.indd 37 19/12/12 8:27 PM19/12/12 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
38
I n any organization, you’ll work with people whose backgrounds differ from yours. Residents of small
towns and rural areas have different notions of friendliness than do people from big cities. Califor-
nians may talk and dress differently than people in the Midwest. The cultural icons that resonate for
Baby Boomers may mean little to teenagers. The world continues to become globalized.
As Americans become busier and globalization continues to change the workplace, consumer
services performed by employees in other countries are becoming more common. For instance, jet-
setting U.S. executives can have personal assistants from Ask Sunday—based in New York but with
most of its workforce in India—handle everything from ordering local takeout meals to sending birth-
day greetings to friends and family. With 10,000 subscribers, TutorVista provides tutoring in a range
of K–12 subjects from 600 tutors based in India. 1 “Offshoring” of jobs is expected to continue, with
Forrester Research, Inc., predicting that American employers will move about 3.3 million white-collar
service jobs overseas in the next five years. 2
LO 3-1 Define culture through context.
LO 3-2 Compare and contrast dimensions of culture.
LO 3-3 Apply strategies for international communication success.
LO 3-4 Identify differences among generations.
LO 3-5 Apply strategies for workplace dis- crimination solutions.
LO 3-6 Apply strategies for bias-free documents.
Module 3 explores the many facets of communicating across cultures in business. After completing
the module, you should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Communicating Across Cultures 3
Module
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 38loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 38 19/12/12 7:36 PM19/12/12 7:36 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 39
The last 30 years have seen a growing emphasis on diversity, with the “news” that more
and more women and people of color are joining the U.S. workforce. 3 But people out-
side the power structure have always worked. In the past, such people (including non-elite
white males) may have been relegated to low-status and low-paying jobs, to agricultural or
domestic work, or to staff rather than line work and management.
People often want easy answers about diversity and culture when only guidelines are
possible. Human beings are individuals as much as they are part of a group. In many ways,
we’ve only begun to scratch the surface for understanding and respecting the diversity
around us; no single discussion can offer all the answers. Because learning about others is
an ongoing process, we must find the answers as much through our experiences as through
research, using sensitivity and respect. Use this module as a starting point.
“Diversity” in the workplace comes from many sources:
• Gender
• Race and ethnicity
• Regional and national origin
• Social class
• Religion
• Age
• Sexual orientation
• Physical ability
Many young Americans are already multicultural. According to U.S. census figures,
a third of Americans aged 17 to 27 are Native Americans or of African, Latino, or Asian
descent. 4 One study showed that 80% of teens have a close friend of another race.
5
Bilingual Canada has long compared the diversity of its people to a “mosaic.” But now
immigrants from Italy, Greece, and Hong Kong add their voices to the medley of French,
English, and Inuit. Radio station CHIN in Toronto broadcasts in 32 languages. 6 The United
States has more than 1,100 mosques and Islamic centers, 1,500 Buddhist centers, and
800 Hindu centers. 7 People work in Japanese plants in Peterborough, New Hampshire;
Marysville, Ohio; and Smyrna, Tennessee. Employees at the Digital Equipment plant in
Boston come from 44 countries and speak 19 languages; the plant’s announcements are
printed in English, Chinese, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Haitian Creole, and Vietnamese. 8
Diversity increases in the global marketplace, where your customers, suppliers, sub-
ordinates, or bosses may have different cultural values and business practices. Business
increasingly transcends national boundaries. BusinessWeek reports that two-thirds of all industries either already operate globally or are in the process of doing so. Michelin, for
instance, earns 35% of its profits in the United States, and McDonald’s earns more than
62% of its income outside the United States. Nearly 98% of Nokia’s sales are outside its
home country, Finland. 9
Many companies depend on vendors or operations in different countries. More soft-
ware is written in Ireland than anywhere else in the world. India is a choice destination
for service and high-tech industries. General Electric Capital’s customer services calls are
answered by 1,000 English-speaking Indian employees in New Delhi, workers respond to
customer service e-mails for Compaq from offices in Madras, and Texas Instruments oper-
ates a design facility in Bangalore that is responsible for 225 patents. The 3M Corporation
earns more than half of its annual revenue from outside the United States, including $500
million in China, where it operates factories. 10
As many companies have discovered, valuing diversity is good business as well as
good social practice. A growing body of literature shows that ethnically diverse teams
produce more and higher-quality ideas. 11
One problem with our awareness of difference,
however, is that when someone feels shut out, he or she can attribute the negative interac-
tion to prejudice, when other factors may be responsible. A second problem is that mem-
bers of a dominant group can recognize difference but still expect everyone else to adapt
to them, rather than making the effort to understand the preferred communication styles
of other workers.
One in 12 marriages in the U.S.
is now interracial, according
to a Pew Research Center
study. Out of the 4.8 million
Americans who married
someone of a different race,
most live in western states
like Nevada and California.
According to the report, more
than 25% of Asians and
Hispanics who married in 2010
had a spouse of a different
race compared to 9.4% of
whites.
Source: Hope Yen, “Interracial Marriage in U.S. Hits New High,”
February 16, 2012, http://hosted2
.ap.org/OHCOL/8ef5320729ce429
8abefc1903704c7d5/Article_2012-
02-16-US-Interracial-Marriage/
id-03bb505a50d140009dfc
4d0430889575 .
By 2014, Asia will represent
43% of the world’s online
population, while North
America will represent 13%.
Source: Andrew LaVallee, “The Gap Widens in Online Population,”
The Wall Street Journal, July
21, 2009, http://blogs.wsj.com/
digits/2009/07/21/the-gap-widens-
in-online-population/ .
Site to See
Go to
www.asianweek.com/
for an online newspaper about
Asian and Asian American
news, style, and culture.
Go to
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 39loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 39 19/12/12 7:36 PM19/12/12 7:36 PM
Confirming pages
40 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
What is “culture”? LO 3-1
▶ Our understanding of acceptable actions and beliefs.
Each of us grows up in a culture that provides patterns of acceptable behavior and belief. We may not be aware of the most basic features of our own culture until we come into
contact with people who do things differently. For example, we read from left to right. In
some countries, text goes from right to left or from bottom to top. In the United States, new
acquaintances often ask, “What do you do?” as if our jobs tell people who we are. In many
countries, new acquaintances want to know, “Who is your family?” and are more likely to
judge people by their family ties.
We can categorize cultures as high-context or low-context.
• In high-context cultures , most of the information is inferred from the context of a message; little is “spelled out.” Japanese, Arabic, and Latin American cultures are
high-context.
• In low-context cultures , context is less important; most information is explicitly spelled out. German, Scandinavian, and the dominant U.S. cultures are low-context.
As David Victor points out, high- and low-context cultures value different kinds of com-
munication and have different attitudes toward oral and written channels (◀◀ Module 2, p. 24).
12 As Figure 3.1 shows, low-context cultures favor direct approaches and may see
indirectness as dishonest or manipulative. The written word is seen as more important than
oral statements, so contracts are binding but promises may be broken. Details matter. Busi-
ness communication practices in the United States reflect these low-context preferences.
How does culture affect business communication? LO 3-2
▶ In every single aspect!
Culture influences every single aspect of business communication: how to show politeness
and respect, how much information to give, how to motivate people, how loud to talk, even
what size paper to use.
The discussion that follows focuses on national and regional cultures. But business com-
munication is also influenced by the organizational culture and by personal culture, such
as gender, race and ethnicity, social class, and so forth. As Figure 3.2 suggests, all of these
Figure 3.1 Views of Communication in High- and Low-Context Cultures
High-Context (Examples: Japan,
United Arab Emirates)
Low-Context (Examples: Germany,
Canada, the United States)
Preferred communication strategy Indirectness, politeness, ambiguity Directness, confrontation, clarity
Reliance on words to communicate Low High
Reliance on nonverbal signs to
communicate
High Low
Importance of written word Low High
Agreements made in writing Not binding Binding
Agreements made orally Binding Not binding
Attention to detail Low High
Source: Adapted from David A. Victor, International Business Communication, 1st Edition, © 1992. Printed and electronically reproduced by permission of Pearson Education, Inc., Upper Saddle River, New Jersey.
Is globalization best
represented by fast food?
In a way—researchers at
South Africa’s University
of Stellenbosch say a Big
Mac meal symbolizes how
interconnected the world
has become. Potatoes were
originally domesticated in
South America, and mustard
came from India, onions and
wheat from the Middle East,
and coffee from Ethiopia. All
told, the meal represents about
20 different plant species, as
well as years of plant breeding
from cultures around the globe.
Source: Megan Lindo, “Cosmopolitan Meal, or a
Whopper?” The Chronicle of Higher
Education. February 29, 2008, A6.
Site to See
Go to
http:// travelandcultureapps.com/
for reviews and links to apps
that can make travel easier.
Go to
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 40loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 40 19/12/12 7:37 PM19/12/12 7:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 41
intersect to determine what kind of communica-
tion is needed in a given situation. Sometimes one
kind of culture may be more important than another.
For example, in a study of aerospace engineers
in Europe, Asia, and the United States, research-
ers John Webb and Michael Keene found that the
similarities of the professional discourse community
outweighed differences in national cultures. 13
Values, Beliefs, and Practices
Values and beliefs, often unconscious, affect our
response to people and situations. Most North Ameri-
cans, for example, value “fairness.” “You’re not playing fair” is a sharp criticism calling for
changed behavior. In some countries, however, people expect certain groups to receive pref-
erential treatment. Most North Americans accept competition and believe it produces better
performance. The Japanese, however, believe competition leads to disharmony. U.S. business-
people believe that success is based on individual achievement and is open to anyone who
excels. In England and in France, success is more obviously linked to social class. And in some
countries, people of some castes or races are prohibited by law from full participation in society.
Many people in the United States value individualism. Other countries may value the
group. In traditional classrooms, U.S. students are expected to complete assignments
alone; if they get much help from anyone else, they’re “cheating.” In Japan, in contrast,
groups routinely work together to solve problems. In the dominant U.S. culture, quiet is a
sign that people are working. In Japan, people talk to get the work done. 14
Values and beliefs are influenced by religion. Christianity coexists with a view of the
individual as empowered to make things happen. In some Muslim and Asian countries,
however, it is seen as presumptuous to predict the future by promising action by a certain
date. The Puritan work ethic legitimizes wealth by seeing it as a sign of divine favor. In
other Christian cultures, a simpler lifestyle is considered to be closer to God.
These differences in values, beliefs, and practices lead to differences in what kinds of
appeals motivate people. See Figure 3.3 .
Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal communication —communication that doesn’t use words—takes place all the time. Body language, the size of an office, or how long someone keeps a visitor waiting—
all these communicate pleasure or anger, friendliness or distance, power and status.
Figure 3.3 Cultural Contrasts in Motivation
United States Japan Arab Countries
Emotional appeal Opportunity Group participation; company
success
Religion; nationalism;
admiration
Recognition based on Individual achievement Group achievement Individual status; status of
class/society
Material rewards Salary; bonus; profit sharing Annual bonus; social services;
fringe benefits
Gifts for self/family; salary
Threats Loss of job Loss of group membership Demotion, loss of reputation
Values Competition; risk taking;
freedom
Group harmony; belonging Reputation; family security;
religion
Source: Adapted from Farid Elashmawi and Philip R. Harris, Multicultural Management 2000: Essential Cultural Insights for Global Business Success, (Gulf Publishing, 1998), p. 169. Used with permission by Elsevier.
Instant Replay
High- and Low-Context
Cultures
In high-context cultures, most of the information is
inferred from the context of a
message; little is “spelled out.”
In low-context cultures, context is less important;
most information is explicitly
spelled out.
I R
High and Lo
Organizational culture
Personal culture
National culture
Figure 3.2 National Culture,
Organizational Culture, and
Personal Culture Overlap
Site to See
Go to
www.getcustoms.com/ 2004GTC/quiz.html
Getting Through Customs,
which conducts seminars on
international communications,
offers this page of links to
dozens of quizzes you can
use to test your knowledge
of international etiquette
and business practices. The
answers provide fun facts
on topics such as names,
holidays, gift giving, and
much more.
Go to
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 41loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 41 19/12/12 7:37 PM19/12/12 7:37 PM
Confirming pages
42 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Nonverbal signals can be misinterpreted just as easily as verbal symbols (words). A
young woman took a new idea into her boss, who glared at her, brows together in a frown,
as she explained her proposal. The stare and lowered brows symbolized anger to her, and
she assumed he was rejecting her idea. Several months later, she learned that her boss
always “frowned” when he was concentrating. The facial expression she had interpreted as
anger had not been intended to convey anger at all.
Misunderstandings are even more common in communication across cultures. A Euro-
pean American teacher sends two African American students to the principal’s office
because they’re “fighting.” European Americans consider fighting to have started when
loud voices, insults, and posture indicate that violence is likely. But African Americans
may not assume that those signs alone will lead to violence: They can be part of nonviolent
disagreements. 15
An Arab student assumed that his U.S. roommate disliked him intensely
because the U.S. student sat around the room with his feet up on the furniture, soles toward
the Arab roommate. Arab culture sees the foot in general and the sole in particular as
unclean; showing the sole of the foot is an insult. 16
Learning about nonverbal language can help us project the image we want to project
and make us more aware of the signals we are interpreting. However, even within a single
culture a nonverbal symbol may have more than one meaning.
Body Language
Posture and body movements connote energy and openness. North American open body positions include leaning forward with uncrossed arms and legs, with the arms away from the body. Closed or defensive body positions include leaning back, sometimes with both hands behind the head, arms and legs crossed or close together, or hands in pockets. As
the labels imply, open positions suggest that people are accepting and open to new ideas.
Closed positions suggest that people are physically or psychologically uncomfortable, that
they are defending themselves and shutting other people out.
People who cross their arms or legs often claim that they do so only because the position is
more comfortable. Certainly crossing one’s legs is one way to be more comfortable in a chair
that is the wrong height. U.S. women are taught to keep their arms close to their bodies and
their knees and ankles together. But notice your own body the next time you’re in a perfectly
comfortable discussion with a good friend. You’ll probably find that you naturally assume open
body positions. The fact that so many people in organizational settings adopt closed positions
may indicate that many people feel at least slightly uncomfortable in school and on the job.
The Japanese value the ability to sit quietly. They may see the U.S. tendency to fidget
and shift as an indication of a lack of mental or spiritual balance. Even in North America,
interviewers and audiences usually respond negatively to nervous gestures such as fidget-
ing with a tie or hair or jewelry, tapping a pencil, or swinging a foot.
Eye Contact
North American whites see eye contact as a sign of honesty. But in many cultures, dropped eyes are a sign of appropriate deference to a superior.
Puerto Rican children are taught not to meet the eyes of adults. 17
The Japanese are
taught to look at the neck. 18
In Korea, prolonged eye contact is considered rude. The lower-
ranking person is expected to look down first. 19
In Muslim countries, women and men are
not supposed to have eye contact.
These differences can lead to miscommunication in the multicultural workplace. Supe-
riors may feel that subordinates are being disrespectful when the subordinate is being fully
respectful—according to the norms of his or her culture.
Gestures
Americans sometimes assume that they can depend on gestures to communicate if language
fails. But Birdwhistell reported that “although we have been searching for 15 years [1950–65],
we have found no gesture or body motion which has the same meaning in all societies.” 20
In Bulgaria, people nod their
heads up and down to mean
no. They shake their heads
from side to side to mean yes.
Source: Glenna Dod and Gergana Kuneva, “ Yes or No:
Communication Barriers Between
Bulgaria and The United States,”
ABC Canadian, Eastern U.S.,
Southeastern U.S. Joint Regional
Conference, Nashville, TN, March
30–April 1, 2000.
Soon after a flight takes off
from La Guardia Airport, a
passenger produces a small
leather box, straps it to his
forehead, and wraps what
appears to be wires from it
around his arm and hand. He
prays. A terrorist bomber? No,
a peaceful 17-year-old wearing
tefillin, used in morning prayers
by observant Jews. The sight,
reported by a flight attendant,
was enough for pilots to divert
the plane to the nearest city,
where federal authorities
boarded to investigate. While
all parties involved were of
goodwill, a religious and
cultural misunderstanding
took on frightening overtones.
Said Isaac Abraham, himself
an observant Jew: “But the
obvious reality of it is that
when we see people carrying
explosive material in their
shoes and their pants and I am
the passenger next to him
and see someone strapping,
I would panic too.”
Source: James Barron, “A Flight is Diverted by a Prayer Seen
as Ominous,” The New York
Times, January 21, 2010, http://
www.nytimes.com/2010/01/22/
nyregion/22airplane.html?hpw .
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 42loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 42 19/12/12 7:37 PM19/12/12 7:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 43
Gestures that mean approval in the United States may have very different meanings in
other countries. The “thumbs up” sign that means “good work” or “go ahead” in the United
States and most of western Europe is a vulgar insult in Greece. The circle formed with the
thumb and first finger that means OK in the United States is obscene in Southern Italy and can mean “you’re worth nothing” in France and Belgium.
21
In the question period after a lecture, a man asked the speaker, a Puerto Rican profes-
sor, if shaking the hands up and down in front of the chest, as though shaking off water,
was “a sign of mental retardation.” The professor was horrified: in her culture, the gesture
meant “excitement, intense thrill.” 22
Studies have found that Spanish-speaking doctors rate
the mental abilities of Latino patients much higher than do English-speaking doctors. The
language barrier is surely part of the misevaluation by English-speaking doctors. Cultural
differences in gestures may contribute to the misevaluation. Similarly, European American
supervisors in the workplace may underestimate the abilities of Hispanics because gestures
differ in the two cultures.
Space
Personal space is the distance someone wants between himself or herself and other people in ordinary, nonintimate interchanges. Observation and limited experimentation show that
most North Americans, North Europeans, and Asians want a bigger personal space than do
Latin Americans, French, Italians, and Arabs. People who prefer lots of personal space are
often forced to accept close contact on a crowded elevator or subway.
Even within a culture, some people like more personal space than do others. One U.S.
study found that men took more personal space than women did. 23
In many cultures, people
who are of the same age and sex take less personal space than do mixed-age or mixed-sex
groups. Latin Americans will stand closer to people of the same sex than North Americans
would, but North Americans stand closer to people of the opposite sex. 24
Touch
Repeated studies have shown that babies need to be touched to grow and thrive and that
older people are healthier both mentally and physically if they are touched. But some peo-
ple are more comfortable with touch than others. Some people shake hands in greeting
but otherwise don’t like to be touched at all, except by family members or lovers. Other
people, having grown up in families that touch a lot, hug as part of a greeting and touch
even casual friends. Each kind of person may misinterpret the other. A person who dis-
likes touch may seem unfriendly to someone who’s used to touching. A toucher may seem
overly familiar to someone who dislikes touch.
Studies in the United States have shown that touch is interpreted as power: More power-
ful people touch less powerful people. When the toucher had higher status than the recipi-
ent, both men and women liked being touched. 25
Most parts of North America allow opposite-sex couples to hold hands or walk arm-in-
arm in public but frown on the same behavior in same-sex couples. People in Asia, the Mid-
dle East, and South America have the opposite expectation: Male friends or female friends
can hold hands or walk arm-in-arm, but it is slightly shocking for an opposite-sex couple to
touch in public. In Iran, even handshakes between men and women are seen as improper. 26
People who don’t know each other well may feel more comfortable with each other if
a piece of furniture separates them. For example, a group may work better sitting around a
table than just sitting in a circle. In North America, a person sitting at the head of a table is
generally assumed to be the group’s leader. However, one experiment showed that when a
woman sat at the head of a mixed-sex group, observers assumed that one of the men in the
group was the leader. 27
Spatial Arrangements
In the United States, the size, placement, and privacy of one’s office connote status. Large
corner offices have the highest status. An individual office with a door that closes connotes
To better understand how the
immune system responds to
touch, researchers studied two
groups of healthy adults. One
group received 45 minutes of
Swedish massage while the
other received 45 minutes
of lighter touch. The group
receiving massages showed
“substantially more white
blood cells—including natural
killer cells, which help the
body fight viruses and other
pathogens—and fewer types
of inflammatory cytokines
associated with autoimmune
diseases.”
Source: Norine Dworkin-McDaniel, “Touching Makes You Healthier,”
CNN, January 5, 2011, http://www.
cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/01/05/
touching.makes.you.healthier
.health/index.html .
Site to See
Go to
https://www.cia.gov/ library/publications/ the-world-factbook
The World Factbook,
published online by the Central
Intelligence Agency, is a good
starting point for learning about
the people of another country.
Extensive country-by-country
information includes languages
spoken and communications
technology available.
Go to
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 43loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 43 19/12/12 7:37 PM19/12/12 7:37 PM
Confirming pages
44 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
more status than a desk in a common area. Japanese firms, however, see private offices as
“inappropriate and inefficient,” reports Robert Christopher. Only the very highest execu-
tives and directors have private offices in the traditional Japanese company, and even they
will also have desks in the common areas. 28
Japanese homes have much smaller rooms than most U.S. homes. The Japanese use
less furniture and arrange it differently: A small table will be in the center of the room. In
cold weather, a heater is placed under the table; the tablecloth keeps the warm air around
the legs and feet of everyone who sits at the table. Even though U.S. homes have more
pieces of furniture than the traditional Japanese home, Japanese may see Western rooms as
“empty” since Western furniture lines the walls, leaving a large empty space in the middle
of the room. 29
Time
Organizations in the United States—businesses, government, and schools— keep time by
the calendar and the clock. Being “on time” is seen as a sign of dependability. Other cul-
tures may keep time by the seasons and the moon, the sun, internal “body clocks,” or a
personal feeling that “the time is right.”
North Americans who believe that “time is money” are often frustrated in negotiations
with people who take a much more leisurely approach. Part of the problem is that people
in many other cultures want to establish a personal relationship before they decide whether
to do business with each other.
The problem is made worse because various cultures mentally measure time differently.
Many North Americans measure time in five-minute blocks. Someone who’s five minutes
late to an appointment or a job interview feels compelled to apologize. If the executive or
interviewer is running half an hour late, the caller expects to be told about the likely delay
upon arriving. Some people won’t be able to wait that long and will need to reschedule
their appointments. But in other cultures, 15 minutes or half an hour may be the smallest
block of time. To someone who mentally measures time in 15-minute blocks, being 45
minutes late is no worse than being 15 minutes late is to someone who is conscious of
smaller units.
Color associations can lead to
workplace revelations. Delta
Air Lines irked flight attendants
with a designer red uniform in
sizes 18 and below when other
uniforms also came in larger
sizes. USAToday gathered 877
CEOs to gauge favorite colors.
Magenta won. According to
consultant Dewey Sadka, it
suggests a more sensitive and
less perfectionist personality
than average and someone
who is also suited to be an
artist or teacher. Atlanta’s
MARTA officials named the
train service into the city’s
Asian-American community
the “yellow line,” even after
John Yasutake, manager of
equal opportunity and conflict
resolution, pointed out negative
connotations for Asian people,
including 200,000 in the
metropolitan area. Officials later
renamed it the “gold line.”
Source: Harry R. Weber, “Some NWA Flight Attendants Want to
Wear Red Dress,” July 10, 2009,
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/
Some-NWA-flight-attendants-
apf-1099900293.html?x=0&.v=3 ;
Del Jones, “Favorite Colors Test
Shows CEOs Are Different; Take the
Test,” USAToday, February 8, 2010,
http://www.usatoday.com/money/
companies/management/2010-
02-08-ceocolors08_ST_N.htm ;
and Dan Chapman and Ariel Hart,
“MARTA ‘yellow line’ to Doraville
Angers Some in Asian Community,”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution,
February 8, 2010, http://www.ajc.
com/news/atlanta/marta-yellow-
line-to-294162.html .
Doing business internationally
requires an understanding
of language and business
practices and a sensitivity to
cultural differences. But look for
similarities, too, to understand
the “big picture.” For instance,
you probably recoginze the place
in this photo as a gas station,
even if the words, layout, and
color scheme are unfamiliar.
Seeing similarities while honoring
differences can help you adapt
quickly and effectively.
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 44loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 44 19/12/12 7:37 PM19/12/12 7:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 45
Edward T. Hall distinguishes between monochronic cultures, which treat time as a resource, and polychronic cultures, which emphasize relationships. Researchers see the United States as monochronic. When U.S. managers feel offended because a Latin Ameri-
can manager also sees other people during “their” appointments, the two kinds of time are
in conflict.
According to some scholars, Europeans schedule fewer events in a comparable period
of time than do North Americans. Perhaps as a result, Germans and German Swiss see
North Americans as too time-conscious. 30
Other Nonverbal Symbols
Many other symbols can carry nonverbal meanings: clothing, colors, age, and height, to
name a few.
In the United States and Canada, certain styles and colors of clothing are considered
more “professional” and more “credible.” In Dress for Success and The Woman’s Dress for Success Book, John T. Molloy tells readers what clothes carry nonverbal messages of success, prestige, and competence. In Japan, clothing denotes not only status but also
occupational group. Students wear uniforms. Company badges indicate rank within the
organization. Workers wear different clothes when they are on strike than they do when
they are working. 31
Colors can also carry meanings in a culture. In the United States, mourners wear black
to funerals, while brides wear white. In pre-Communist China and in some South American
tribes, white is the color of mourning. Purple flowers are given to the dead in Mexico. 32
In
Korea, red ink is used to record deaths but never to write about living people. 33
In the United States, youth is valued. Some men as well as some women color their hair
and even have face-lifts to look as youthful as possible. In Japan, younger people defer to
older people. Americans attempting to negotiate in Japan are usually taken more seriously
if at least one member of the team is noticeably gray-haired.
Height connotes status in many parts of the world. Executive offices are usually on the
top floors; the underlings work below. Even being tall can help a person succeed. Studies
have shown that employers are more willing to hire men over 6 feet tall than shorter men
with the same credentials. Studies of real-world executives and graduates have shown that
taller men make more money. In one study, every extra inch of height brought in an extra
$600 a year. 34
But being too big can be a disadvantage. A tall, brawny football player
complained that people found him intimidating off the field and assumed that he “had the
brains of a Twinkie.”
Oral Communication
Effective oral communication requires cultural understanding. As Figure 3.4 shows,
the purpose of and the information exchanged in business introductions differs
across cultures.
Deborah Tannen uses the term conversational style to denote our conversational patterns and the meaning we give to them: the way we show interest, politeness, and
appropriateness. 35
Your answers to the following questions reveal your own conversa-
tional style:
• How long a pause tells you that it’s your turn to speak?
• Do you see interruption as rude? Or do you say things while other people are still talking
to show you’re interested and to encourage them to say more?
• Do you show interest by asking lots of questions? Or do you see questions as intrusive
and wait for people to volunteer whatever they have to say?
Tannen concludes that the following features characterize her own conversational style:
Fast rate of speech
Fast rate of turn-taking
Yale University’s Rudd
Center for Food Policy and
Obesity found that weight
discrimination has increased,
even though about two-thirds
of Americans are overweight.
Discrimination includes being
denied jobs and receiving
inferior medical care. So far,
Michigan is the only state that
bars weight discrimination.
Even the famous are not
immune. Actor and director
Kevin Smith was asked to
deplane when a pilot thought
he didn’t fit in his seat, per the
airline’s “Customer of Size”
policy. Said Smith, who later
received an apology from the
company, “If you look like
me, you may be ejected from
Southwest Air.”
Source: Catherine Arnst, “Bias of the Bulge,” BusinessWeek, April
28, 2008, 22; and “‘Silent Bob’
Not Silent About Being Ejected
from Flight for Being Too Fat,” The
Columbus Dispatch, February
15, 2010, http://www.dispatch
.com/live/content/national_world/
stories/2010/02/15/silent-bob-not-
silent-about-ejection-from-flight.
html?sid=101 .
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 45loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 45 19/12/12 7:38 PM19/12/12 7:38 PM
Confirming pages
46 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Persistence—if a turn is not acknowledged, try again
Preference for personal stories
Tolerance of, preference for simultaneous speech
Abrupt topic shifting
Different conversational styles are not better or worse than each other, but people
with different conversational styles may feel uncomfortable without knowing why. A
subordinate who talks quickly may be frustrated by a boss who speaks slowly. Peo-
ple who talk more slowly may feel shut out of a conversation with people who talk
more quickly. Someone who has learned to make requests directly (“Please pass the
salt”) may be annoyed by someone who uses indirect requests (“This casserole needs
some salt”).
In the workplace, conflicts may arise because of differences in conversational style.
Generation Xers often use a rising inflection on statements as well as questions. Xers see
this style as gentler and more polite. But Baby Boomer bosses may see this speech pattern
as hesitant, as if the speaker wants advice—which they then proceed to deliver. 36
Thomas
Kochman claims that African Americans often use direct questions to criticize or accuse. 37
If Kochman is right, an African American employee might see a question (“Will that report
be ready Friday?”) as a criticism of his or her progress. One supervisor might mean the
question simply as a request for information. Another supervisor might use the question to
mean “I want that report Friday.”
Daniel N. Maltz and Ruth A. Borker believe that differences in conversational style may
be responsible for the miscommunication that sometimes occurs in male–female conversa-
tions. For example, researchers have found that women are much more likely to nod and
to say yes or mm hmm than men are. Maltz and Borker hypothesize that to women, these symbols mean simply, “I’m listening; go on.” Men, on the other hand, may decode these
symbols as “I agree” or at least “I follow what you’re saying so far.” A man who receives
nods and mms from a woman may feel that she is inconsistent and unpredictable if she then disagrees with him. A woman may feel that a man who doesn’t provide any feedback isn’t
listening to her. 38
Understatement and Exaggeration
Closely related to conversational style is the issue of understatement and overstatement.
The British have a reputation for understatement. Someone good enough to play at
Wimbledon may say he or she “plays a little tennis.” Many people in the United States
exaggerate. A U.S. businessman negotiating with a German said, “I know it’s impossible,
but can we do it?” The German saw the statement as nonsensical: By definition, something
that is impossible cannot be done at all. The American saw “impossible” as merely a strong
way of saying “difficult” and assumed that with enough resources and commitment, the
job could in fact be done. 39
In Japan, silence can mean
“I don’t like your idea,” but it
can also mean “I’m thinking.”
Knowing this is essential for
international negotiators.
One American business
person offered an apparatus
to a Japanese customer for
$100,000. The customer sat
quietly. After 10 minutes, the
American, who couldn’t stand
the silence any more, lowered
his price $10,000. Reading
this through a U.S. lens, you
might think that the Japanese
customer was happy and
perhaps even used silence
deliberately. Not so. In fact, he
was deeply disappointed by the
poor negotiation. Relationships
are far more important than
price in Japan. How could
someone be so impatient?
Source: Based on J. M. Ulijn, “How Can a Multicultural Workforce
of a Company Successfully
Communicate in International
Trade?” Acta Universitatis
Wratislaviensis, No. 1774, 264–65.
Figure 3.4 Cultural Contrasts in Business Introductions
United States Japan Arab Countries
Purpose of introduction Establish status and job identity;
network
Establish position in group,
build harmony
Establish personal rapport
Image of individual Independent Member of group Part of rich culture
Information Related to business Related to company Personal
Use of language Informal, friendly; use first name Little talking Formal; expression of
admiration
Values Openness, directness, action Harmony, respect, listening Religious harmony, hospitality,
emotional support
Source: Adapted from Farid Elashmawi and Philip R. Harris, Multicultural Management 2000: Essential Cultural Insights for Global Business Success (Houston: Gulf, 1998), 113.
Site to See
Go to
www.travlang.com
to learn languages for
international travel.
Go to
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 46loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 46 19/12/12 7:38 PM19/12/12 7:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 47
In Tanzania, it is a compliment
to note that someone has
gained weight.
Successful intercultural communicators attempt to understand the communication style the other group
prefers.
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com, www.cartoonstock.com.
Compliments
The kinds of statements that people interpret as compliments and the socially correct way
to respond to compliments also vary among cultures. The statement “You must be really
tired” is a compliment in Japan since it recognizes the other person has worked hard. The
correct response is “Thank you, but I’m OK.” An American who is complimented on giv-
ing a good oral presentation will probably say “Thank you.” A Japanese, in contrast, will
apologize: “No, it wasn’t very good.” 40
Statements that seem complimentary in one context may be inappropriate in another.
For example, women in business are usually uncomfortable if male colleagues or superiors
compliment them on their appearance: The comments suggest that the women are being
treated as visual decoration rather than as contributing workers.
Silence
Silence also has different meanings in different cultures and subcultures. Some
Americans have difficulty doing business in Japan because they do not realize that
silence almost always means that the Japanese do not like the Americans’ ideas.
Muriel Saville-Troike reports that during a period of military tension, Greek air traffic
controllers responded with silence when Egyptian planes requested permission to land.
The Greeks intended silence as a refusal; the Egyptians interpreted silence as consent.
Several people were killed when the Greeks fired on the planes as they approached
the runway. 41
Different understandings of silence can prolong problems with sexual harassment in
the workplace. White women sometimes use silence to respond to comments they find
offensive, hoping that silence will signal their lack of appreciation. But some men may
think that silence means appreciation or at least neutrality. African American women may
be more likely to “talk tough” in response to unwelcome advances.
Instant Replay
Two Views of Time
Monochronic cultures treat time as a resource.
Polychronic cultures emphasize relationships.
I R
Two Views o
Translating a product’s
advertising slogan is
especially tricky, because
the product’s benefits have
to be packed into just a few
words. A poor translation can
be embarrassing, as in the
following examples:
Kentucky Fried Chicken’s
slogan in English: Finger
lickin’ good.
Meaning in Chinese translation:
Eat your fingers off.
Otis Engineering Corporation’s
slogan: Completion
equipment.
Meaning in Russian translation:
Equipment for orgasms.
Parker Pen Company’s slogan:
Avoid embarrassment.
Meaning in Spanish translation:
Avoid pregnancy.
Perdue Farms’ slogan: It takes
a tough man to make a
tender chicken.
Meaning in Spanish translation:
It takes a sexually excited
man to make a chicken
affectionate.
Source: Examples quoted from Anton Piëch, “Speaking in
Tongues,” Inc., June 2003, 50.
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 47loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 47 19/12/12 7:38 PM19/12/12 7:38 PM
Confirming pages
48 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Writing to International Audiences
Most cultures are more formal than the United States. When you write to international
audiences, use titles, not first names. Avoid contractions, slang, and sports metaphors.
The patterns of organization that work for North American audiences may need to be
modified for international correspondence. For most cultures, buffer negative messages (▶▶ Module 11) and make requests (▶▶ Module 12) more indirect. As Figure 3.5 suggests, you may need to modify style, structure, and strategy when you write to international readers.
Make a special effort to avoid phrases that could be seen as arrogant or uncaring. Cultural
mistakes made orally float away on the air; those made in writing are permanently recorded.
There are so many different cultures! How can I know enough to communicate? LO 3-3
▶ Focus on being sensitive and flexible.
The first step in understanding another culture is to realize that it may do things very dif-
ferently, and that the difference is not bad or inferior. But people within a single culture
differ. The kinds of differences summarized in this module can turn into stereotypes, which
can be just as damaging as ignorance. Don’t try to memorize the material here as a rigid set
of rules. Instead, use the examples to get a sense for the kinds of things that differ from one
culture to another. Test these generalizations against your experience. When in doubt, ask.
If you plan to travel to a specific country, or if you work with people from other cul-
tures, read about that country or culture and learn a little of the language. Also talk to
people. That’s really the only way to learn whether someone is wearing black as a sign of
mourning, as a fashion statement, or as a color that slenderizes and doesn’t show dirt.
As Brenda Arbeláez suggests, the successful international communicator is
• Aware that his or her preferred
values and behaviors are influenced by
culture and are not necessarily “right.”
• Flexible and open to change.
• Sensitive to verbal and nonverbal
behavior.
• Aware of the values, beliefs, and
practices in other cultures.
• Sensitive to differences among individu-
als within a culture. 42
Figure 3.5 Cultural Contrasts in Written Persuasive Documents
United States Japan Arab Countries
Opening Request action or get reader’s
attention
Offer thanks; apologize Offer personal greetings
Way to persuade Immediate gain or loss of
opportunity
Waiting Personal connections; future
opportunity
Style Short sentences Modesty, minimize own
standing
Elaborate expressions; many
signatures
Closing Specific request Desire to maintain harmony Future relationship, personal
greeting
Values Efficiency; directness, action Politeness; indirectness;
relationship
Status; continuation
Source: Adapted from Farid Elashmawi and Philip R. Harris, Multicultural Management 2000: Essential Cultural Insights for Global Business Success, (Gulf Publishing, 1998), p. 139. Used with permission by Elsevier.
Many developing countries have
gone straight to cell phones,
skipping the expensive step
of laying cables. Many owners
of cell phones have become
entrepreneurs, allowing people to
make calls on their phones for a
small fee. Now, farmers can call
to find out what prices are in the
cities so they aren’t at the mercy
of what wholesalers claim.
Experts disagree on how to
define generations or even what
to call them. For example, the
U.S. Census Bureau says Baby
Boomers were born from 1946
to 1964. On the other hand,
authors William Strauss and
Neil Howe say from 1943 to
1960. For them, Millennials start
with births in 1982, but Deloitte
Consulting concludes there is
no definitive agreement among
experts on birth years (or even
terms, including Generation Y
and the Internet Generation ),
with anywhere from 1978 to
1995 possible and 1981 to
1993 most popular. Generation
X exists somewhere between
Baby Boomers and Millennials.
Sources: U.S. Census Bureau, “Oldest Baby Boomers Turn
60!”(News release), January 3,
2006, downloaded at www.
census.gov/Press-Release/www/
(continued)
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 48loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 48 19/12/12 7:38 PM19/12/12 7:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 49
Are differences among generations changing the workplace and how we communicate? LO 3-4
▶ According to some observers, yes.
Baby Boomers and Millennials, sometimes called Generation Y or the Internet Gen-
eration, have made headlines in recent years, clashing over such issues as appropriate
dress, ethics, hierarchies, expectations, and responsiveness in the workplace. Have the
conflicts been blown out of proportion? Perhaps. Friction among members of genera-
tions can be found throughout history. But corporations have gone so far as to hire
consultants to sort things out, and billions of dollars are spent annually now to help
accommodate and motivate employees. How America’s two largest generations are
able to resolve their differences, real or perceived, has profound implications for
changes in the workplace.
While some Millennials shake their heads at Baby Boomers’ mandates that employ- ees start at entry-level jobs or work well beyond 40 hours per week, some members of the older generation lament perceived impertinence, poor communication skills, and what
consultant Bruce Tulgan refers to as “self-esteem on steroids.” 43
Differing values may be
involved, too. According to a Pew Research Center poll, 81% in Generation Y say being
rich is their most important life goal. 44
Of Millennials’ strengths, including optimism, confidence, enthusiasm, organization,
and goal orientation, their greatest may be with technology. No generation has ever been
as plugged in as the Millennials, who are accomplished multitaskers, so it’s probably
unsurprising that a Deloitte Consulting study found that 84% of them text message, 62%
watch YouTube and similar sites, and 56% create their own entertainment. 45
Accordingly,
supervisors relying on “snail mail,” voice mail, or even e-mail messages to contact Mil-
lennial employees may find they’re better off texting or adopting newer technologies, and
vice versa. 46
Unlike significantly smaller Generation X, whose also-tech-savvy members were born
after the Baby Boomers but before the Millennials, Generation Y has a reputation for want-
ing to work in peer groups and with close direction from supervisors, much to the chagrin
of co-workers valuing autonomy. Workstations that allow face-to-face communication,
opportunities to access social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace, and increased
use of mobile technologies, such as iPods, laptops, or cell phones, are attractive to many
Millennials.
In the same spirit, greater attention to detail, especially when it comes to writing, may
go a long way for Millennials in impressing colleagues and supervisors:
• Read often to enhance literacy.
• Edit for grammar and proofread for spelling (▶▶ Modules 14–16). • Avoid e-mail abbreviations in business correspondence and be mindful of netiquette
(▶▶ Module 13). • Use the appropriate tone, format, and language for the intended audience
(▶▶ Module 4). • Build common ground when negotiating (▶▶ Module 12 BCS Box, p. 198). • Find a mentor or role model to further develop skills and adapt to what the organization
wants (◀◀ Module 2 BCS Box, p. 20).
As Generation Y has shown great facility with
gathering information—according to one survey,
of U.S. adults visiting a library recently, 62%
were from Generation Y, and 65% of all patrons
used computers there to do web research 47
—going
deeper while analyzing the credibility of informa-
tion, especially from the Internet, would also be
advantageous.
Mark Zuckerberg represents a
new generation of CEO—born in
1984, he founded Facebook.com .
The popular social website is
worth billions of dollars.
releases/archives/facts_for_
features_special_editions/006105.
html ; William Strauss and Neil
Howe, The Fourth Turning: An
American Prophecy (Lifecourse
Associates), downloaded on
December 27, 2007, at www.
fourthturning.com/my_html/
body_generations_in_history.html ;
and Deloitte Consulting, “Who Are
the Millennials? AKA Generation Y,”
downloaded on August 19, 2012,
at http://www.deloitte.com/assets/
Dcom-UnitedStates/Local%20
Assets/Documents/us_consulting_
hc_millennials_110608.pdf .
(continued)
According to the Young
Entrepreneur Council, 36%
of the U.S. workforce will be
Millennials by 2014, with the
number climbing to 46% by
2020. Writer Larissa Faw
believes Millennials struggle
to identify themselves by
profession, in part because they
are “career hustling,” or working
multiple jobs simultaneously.
The concept is older than it
may seem. Many educated
people have held multiple jobs
or worked in several fields
at once—college faculty, for
instance, often divide their
time among teaching, writing,
speaking, consulting, and
operating side businesses—but
Faw notes, “I don’t know any
Millennial who self-identifies
using only one ‘job.’”
Source: Larissa Faw, “How Millennials Are Redefining Their
Careers as Hustlers,” Forbes,
July 19, 2012, http://www.forbes
.com/sites/larissafaw/2012/07/19/
how-millennials-are-redefining-their-
careers-as-hustlers/ .
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 49loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 49 19/12/12 7:38 PM19/12/12 7:38 PM
Confirming pages
50
Dealing with Discrimination LO 3-5
Building a Critical Skill
Dealing with discrimination is never easy. It’s generally
accepted that women and racial minorities face the most dis-
crimination in the United States, though chances are everyone
has experienced it in some form. Successfully handling discrim-
ination means understanding the situation and your options.
Not Everything Is Discrimination.
IBM, AT&T, and Lucent Technologies Manager Roland Nolan
writes, “As people of color, we don’t have ready access to the
‘good old boy’ network or to powerful mentors who can give us
a leg up. But the reality is, not all white males do, either.” One
woman complained that male clients tested her because she is
a woman. But another successful woman pointed out that men
test other men, too.
Decide on a Strategy.
Despite earning outstanding performance reviews and having
two master’s degrees, including an MBA, and a Ph.D., Cheryl
Green kept getting passed over for promotion at a Fortune 500
company. When she asked why, her boss told her she might
make vice president—if she went back to school. “I understood
at that moment that I wasn’t getting into the club no matter how
many hurdles I jumped,” says Green.
Many women and minorities find themselves facing a “glass
ceiling” that keeps them from rising to levels for which they are
qualified. In promotion situations, Green advises people who
might face discrimination to
• Ask for honest feedback.
• Find a mentor.
• Avoid casting yourself as the victim.
• Be prepared to move on.
The experience showed Green that many companies still need
to understand the importance of diversity. She now runs her own
human-resources consulting firm, Green Resource Group.
Chart Your Own Path.
African Americans, Latinos, and Asian Americans make up
only 19% of the advertising industry’s employees and only
3% of its management positions, yet people of color represent
approximately 30% of the U.S. population and trillions of dol-
lars in buying power.
“It’s hard for people (of color) to be in a business that is pre-
dominantly about white culture,” says Wanla Cheng, who notes
that after being in the industry a couple of years, “it became
painfully obvious that there weren’t people above a certain
level. The bulk of people of color were administrative assistants
or in the mail room . . . it was disheartening.”
She had good experiences but also notes, “I had to work
harder at fitting into the advertising-industry culture.”
Cheng did break the glass ceiling at several agencies but
ultimately left to found Asia Link Consulting Group, which
specializes in multicultural marketing and research.
Take the High Road.
When Tiger Woods heard of friend and Golf Channel anchor
Kelly Tilghman’s bizarre comment about him during a national
broadcast, the sports legend issued a statement that he felt she
meant no harm. Woods, whose heritage includes Asian, Afri-
can, and European ancestry, helped end the media frenzy sur-
rounding Tilghman and her “lynch him” remark, noting, “We
all say things we do regret, and that’s certainly a moment she
does regret.” Tilghman did not escape unscathed. In addition to
public embarrassment, she was suspended from her job. Woods
himself would later face intense scrutiny over unrelated revela-
tions of marital infidelity.
Sources: Roger O. Crockett, “Invisible and Loving It,” BusinessWeek, October 5, 1998, 124–28; Harriet Rubin, “The V’s’ Word,” Fast Company, March 2001, 44; Anne Fisher, “Ask Annie,” Fortune, August 10, 2005, downloaded at http://www.fortune.com/fortune/
annie/0,15704,1092409,00.html ; and Angela D. Johnson, “Adapting to
Change?” DiversityInc, August/September 2004, 27–34; “Tiger Tries to Close Book on ‘Lynch’ Comment,” January 21, 2008, downloaded at
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22771039/ .
Carmen Jones founded Solutions Marketing Group ( www.disability–
marketing.com ) to help mainstream businesses serve people with
disabilities—a group with roughly $1 trillion in spending power.
Source: “Taking the ‘Dis’ Out of Disability,” Black Enterprise, March 2002, 102.
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 50loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 50 19/12/12 7:39 PM19/12/12 7:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 51
As stated earlier in this module, people are individuals as much as they are members of
groups, and for many Millennials, Gen-Xers, and Baby Boomers, intergenerational con-
flicts are nonexistent. If you do sense tension, be flexible and think about the situation
from the other person’s point of view (▶▶ Module 6 BCS Box, p. 97). That’s good advice for any generation.
How can I make my documents bias-free? LO 3-6
▶ Start by using nonsexist, nonracist, and nonagist language.
Bias-free language is language that does not discriminate against people on the basis of sex, physical condition, race, age, or any other category. Bias-free language is fair and
friendly; it complies with the law. It includes all readers; it helps to sustain goodwill. When
you produce newsletters or other documents with photos and illustrations, choose a sam-
pling of the whole population, not just part of it.
Making Language Nonsexist
Nonsexist language treats both sexes neutrally. Check to be sure your writing is free from sexism in four areas: words and phrases, job titles, pronouns, and courtesy titles. Courtesy
titles are discussed in Module 9 on format. Words and phrases, job titles, and pronouns are
discussed in this module.
Words and Phrases
If you find any of the terms in the first column in Figure 3.6 in your writing or your com-
pany’s documents, replace them with terms from the second column.
Not every word containing man is sexist. For example, manager is not sexist. The word comes from the Latin manus, meaning hand; it has nothing to do with maleness.
Avoid terms that assume that everyone is married or is heterosexual.
Biased: You and your husband or wife are cordially invited to the dinner.
Better: You and your guest are cordially invited to the dinner.
Figure 3.6 Getting Rid of Sexist Terms and Phrases
Instead of Use Because
The girl at the front
desk
The woman’s name or
job title: “Ms. Browning,”
“Rosa,” “the receptionist”
Call female employees women just as you
call male employees men. When you talk
about a specific woman, use her name, just
as you use a man’s name to talk about a
specific man.
The ladies on our
staff
The women on our staff Use parallel terms for males and females.
Therefore, use ladies only if you refer to
the males on your staff as gentlemen. Few
businesses do, since social distinctions are
rarely at issue.
Manpower
Manhours
Manning
Personnel
Hours or worker hours
Staffing
The power in business today comes
from both women and men. If you have
to correspond with the U.S. Department
of Labor’s Division of Manpower
Administration, you are stuck with the term.
When you talk about other organizations,
however, use nonsexist alternatives.
Managers and
their wives
Managers and their
guests
Managers may be female; not everyone is
married.
Nike’s commemorative
Olympic T-shirt, emblazoned
with “Gold Digging” and made
available only to women, was
rebuked for sexism.
Source: Ryan Wooley, “Is Nike Being Sexist with ‘Gold Digging’
TShirt?” CBS Detroit 62, August
16, 2012, http://detroit.cbslocal.
com/2012/08/16/is-nike-being-
sexist-with-theselling-of-this-
olympic-shirt/ .
Instant Replay
The successful international
communicator is
• Aware that his or her
preferred values and
behaviors are influenced
by culture and are not
necessarily “right.”
• Flexible and open to change.
• Sensitive to verbal and
nonverbal behavior.
• Aware of the values, beliefs,
and practices in other cultures.
• Sensitive to differences among
individuals within a culture.
I R
The successfu
In 2007, women earned 166
associate’s degrees and 135
bachelor’s degrees for every
100 earned by men, according
to the U.S. Department of
Education. That factor helps
suggest why men were
harder hit by the recession
that followed than women. A
study by New Zealand–based
researcher James Flynn also
revealed that women now score
higher on IQ tests than men.
Source: M. P. McQueen, “Better Education Shields Women from
Worst of Job Cuts,” The Wall Street
Journal, February 12, 2010, http://
(continued)
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 51loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 51 19/12/12 7:39 PM19/12/12 7:39 PM
Confirming pages
52 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Job Titles
Use neutral titles which do not imply that a job is held only by men or only by women.
Many job titles are already neutral: accountant, banker, doctor, engineer, inspector, man- ager, nurse, pilot, secretary, technician , to name a few. Other titles reflect gender stereo- types and need to be changed.
Pronouns
When you write about a specific person, use the appropriate gender pronouns:
In his speech, John Jones said that . . .
In her speech, Judy Jones said that . . .
When you are not writing about a specific person, but about anyone who may be in a
given job or position, traditional gender pronouns are sexist.
Sexist: a. Each supervisor must certify that the time sheet for his department is correct.
Sexist: b. When the nurse fills out the accident report form, she should send one copy to the
Central Division Office.
Business writing uses four ways to eliminate sexist generic pronouns: use plurals, use
second-person you, revise the sentence to omit the pronoun, and use pronoun pairs. When- ever you have a choice of two or more ways to make a phrase or sentence nonsexist,
choose the alternative that is the smoothest and least conspicuous.
The following examples use these methods to revise sentences.
1. Use plural nouns and pronouns.
Nonsexist: a. Supervisors must certify that the time sheets for their departments are
correct.
Note: When you use plural nouns and pronouns, other words in the sentence may need to
be made plural too. In the previous example, plural supervisors have plural time sheets and
departments.
Avoid mixing singular nouns and plural pronouns.
Nonsexist but a. Each supervisor must certify that the time sheet
lacks agreement: for their department is correct.
Because supervisor is singular, it is incorrect to use the plural they to refer to it. The result- ing lack of agreement is becoming acceptable orally but is not yet acceptable to many
readers in writing. Instead, use one of the four grammatically correct ways to make the
sentence nonsexist.
2. Use you.
Nonsexist: a. You must certify that the time sheet for your department is correct.
Nonsexist: b. When you fill out an accident report form, send one copy to the
Central Division Office.
You is particularly good for instructions and statements of the responsibilities of some- one in a given position. Using you as the understood subject also shortens sentences, because you write “Send one copy” instead of “You should send one copy.” It also makes
your writing more direct.
Instead of Use Businessman A specific title: executive, accountant, department head, owner of
a small business, men and women in business, businessperson Chairman Chair, chairperson, moderator Foreman Supervisor (from Job Title Revisions) Salesman Salesperson, sales representative Waitress Server Woman lawyer Lawyer Workman Worker, employee. Or use a specific title: crane operator, brick-
layer, etc.
While the U.S. population
has always been diverse,
sensitivity to many groups still
lags. Vodka maker Belvedere
unveiled an ad featuring a
terrified woman trying to get
away from a grinning man
and the tagline “Unlike some
people, Belvedere goes
down smoothly,” apparently
making light of both rape and
misogyny. A viral campaign for
the Lung Cancer Alliance—
using posters with such
statements as “Hipsters
Deserve to Die” and “Crazy Old
Aunts Deserve to Die”—raised
ire, as some viewed the ads
as offensive rather than ironic.
Snackfood company Popchips
produced a campaign that
featured Ashton Kutcher
appearing in “brown face” as a
man of Asian Indian descent,
much to the chagrin of many
people who saw it.
Sources: Jared T. Miller, “Belvedere Vodka Retracts Offensive Ad,
Flubs Apology,” Time, March
25, 2012, Read more: http://
newsfeed.time.com/2012/03/25/
belvedere-vodka-retracts-offensive-
adflubs-apology/#ixzz20dPB12J6 ;
Marissa Bailey, “Offensive or
Thought-Provoking? ‘Deserve
to Die’ Ads Are Turning Heads,”
CBS Channel 2 News, June 25,
2012, http://chicago.cbslocal
.com/2012/06/25/offensive-or-
thought-provoking-deserve-to
die-ads-are-turning-heads/ ; and
Camille Mann, “Ashton Kutcher’s
Popchip Ads Pulled After Called
Racist,” CBS News, May 3, 2012,
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-
31749_162-57426873-10391698/
ashton-kutchers-popchipads-
pulled-after-called-racist/ .
online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142
40527487033890045750337624
82114190.html ; and Carrie Gann,
“Women Beat Men on IQ Tests for
First Time,” ABC News, July 16,
2012, http://abcnews.go.com/
blogs/health/2012/07/16/women-
beat-menon-iq-tests-for-first-time/ .
(continued)
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 52loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 52 19/12/12 7:39 PM19/12/12 7:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 53
3. Substitute an article ( a, an, or the ) for the pronoun, or revise the sentence so that the pronoun is unnecessary.
Nonsexist: a. The supervisor must certify that the time sheet for the department
is correct.
Nonsexist: b. The nurse will
1. Fill out the accident report form.
2. Send one copy of the form to the Central Division Office.
4. When you must focus on the action of an individual, use pronoun pairs.
Nonsexist: a. The supervisor must certify that the time sheet for his or her
department is correct.
Nonsexist: b. When the nurse fills out the accident report form, he or she should
send one copy to the Central Division Office.
Making Language Nonracist and Nonagist
Language is nonracist and nonagist when it treats all races and ages fairly, avoiding nega- tive stereotypes of any group. Use these guidelines to check for bias in documents you
write or edit:
• Give someone’s race or age only if it is relevant to your story. When you do mention these characteristics, give them for everyone in your story—not just the non-Caucasian,
non-young-to-middle-aged adults you mention.
• Refer to a group by the term it prefers. As preferences change, change your usage. Sixty years ago, Negro was preferred as a more dignified term than colored for African Americans. As times changed, black and African American replaced it. Surveys in the mid-1990s showed that almost half of blacks aged 40 and older preferred black, but those 18 to 39 preferred African American. 48
Oriental has been replaced by Asian. The term Latino is the most acceptable group term to refer to Mexican Americans,
Cuban Americans, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Brazilians, and other people with Central
and Latin American backgrounds. ( Latina is the term for an individual woman.) Better still is to refer to the precise group. The differences among various Latino groups are at least as
great as the differences among Italian Americans, Irish Americans, Armenian Americans,
and others descended from various European groups.
Native American is often preferred to American Indian, but many native people simply want to be known as the people they are—the Modoc Tribe of Oklahoma, for example, or
the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe.
Some native people in Alaska accept the term Eskimo, but others prefer native terms such as Inuit, which means the people. First Nation people in Canada prefer the term Inuit.
Older people and mature customers are more generally accepted terms than senior citi- zens or golden agers. • Avoid terms that suggest that competent people are unusual. The statement “She is
an intelligent black woman” suggests that the writer expects most black women to be
stupid. “He is an asset to his race” suggests that excellence in the race is rare. “He is a
spry 70-year-old” suggests that the writer is amazed that anyone that age can still move.
Talking about People with Disabilities and Diseases
A disability is a physical, mental, sensory, or emotional impairment that interferes with
the major tasks of daily living. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 21% of Ameri-
cans currently have a disability; the number of people with disabilities will rise as the
population ages. 49
• People-first language focuses on the person, not the condition. Use it instead of traditional adjectives used as nouns which imply that the condition defines the person.
Baby Boomers—arguably the
wealthiest generation in U.S.
history—are quickly becoming
the targets of con artists seeking
to steal their life’s savings.
With more than 76 million
Baby Boomers approaching
retirement age, the potential for
ill-gotten gains is high. In 2010,
more than 1,200 enforcement
actions were brought by states
against investment hucksters,
double the number for 2009.
Source: Lucy Lazarony, “Baby Boomers: Con Artists Are Targeting
You,” Fox News, July 20, 2012,
http://www.foxbusiness.com/
personalfinance/2012/07/20/baby-
boomers-conartists-are-targeting/.
Recent events show that even
in the face of rapidly changing
U.S. demographics, some
industries are slow to catch
on. Television, long criticized
for a lack of racial diversity in its
programming, particularly among
lead characters, continues to
draw fire. In 2011, Fox Sports
cancelled The College Experiment
after backlash over a segment
mocking Asians, and the critically
acclaimed HBO series Girls is
among programs nonetheless
questioned for a lack of diversity.
Asks Entertainment Weekly’s
Mark Harris, “When will minorities
get not just a presence but a
voice?” Wise communicators
in any industry realize that
demeaning or ignoring audiences
is a poor substitute for inclusion.
Sources: “Fox Sports Cancels Show After Airing Segment
Mocking Asian Students,”
September 8, 2011, http://www.
hollywoodreporter.com/news/fox-
sports-cancels-show-airing-232955 ;
and Mark Harris, “TV’s Diversity
Dilemma,” May 4, 2012, http://
popwatch.ew.com/2012/05/04/
mark-harris-tvs-diversity-dilemma/ .
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 53loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 53 19/12/12 7:39 PM19/12/12 7:39 PM
Confirming pages
54 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Instead of Use Because
The mentally People with mental retardation The condition does
retarded (Some audiences prefer terms not define the person
like “people with intellectual or his or her potential.
disbilities” or “people with
developmental disabilities.”)
The blind People with vision impairments
Cancer patients People being treated for cancer
• Avoid negative terms, unless the audience prefers them. You-attitude takes precedence over positive emphasis: Use the term a group prefers. People who lost their
hearing as infants, children, or young adults often prefer to be called deaf, or Deaf in recognition of Deafness as a culture. But people who lose their hearing as older adults
often prefer to be called hard of hearing, even when their hearing loss is just as great as someone who identifies as part of deaf culture.
Just as people in a single ethnic group may prefer different labels based on generational or
cultural divides, so differences exist within the disability community. Using the right term
requires keeping up with changing preferences. If your target audience is smaller than the
whole group, use the term preferred by that audience, even if the group as a whole prefers
another term.
Some negative terms, however, are never appropriate. Negative terms such as afflicted, suffering from, and struck down also suggest an outdated view of any illness as a sign of divine punishment.
Choosing Bias-Free Photos and Illustrations
When you produce a document with photographs or illustrations, check the visuals for
possible bias. Do they show people of both sexes and all races? Is there a sprinkling of
various kinds of people (younger and older, people using wheelchairs, etc.)? It’s OK to
have individual pictures that have just one sex or one race; the photos as a whole do not
need to show exactly 50% men and 50% women. But the general impression should sug-
gest that diversity is welcome and normal.
Check relationships and authority figures as well as numbers. If all the men appear in
business suits and the women in maids’ uniforms, the pictures are sexist even if an equal
number of men and women are pictured. If the only blacks and Latinos pictured are factory
workers, the photos support racism even when an equal number of people from each race
are shown.
In the late 1990s, as Marilyn Dyrud has shown, only 22% of the images of humans in
standard clip art files were women, and most of those showed women in traditional roles.
An even smaller percent pictured members of minority groups. 50
Don’t use biased clip
art or stock photos: create your own bias-free illustrations. Be mindful that quick techni-
cal solutions may create other problems. A photo published on Microsoft’s U.S. website
showed two men, one Asian and one black. But on the website of a European affiliate,
the black man’s head was replaced with that of a white man (though his hand remained
unchanged). After criticism for altering the man’s race, the company apologized. 51
McDonald’s Japan created
controversy with its popular
“Mr. James” character. The
blond, doughy expatriate from
Ohio extols his generosity
on the Japanese by sharing
McDonald’s food and
merchandise with passers-by,
all while speaking mangled
Japanese and smiling from
behind clunky spectacles.
Some see the figure as a
stereotype of Caucasian
foreigners in Japan, while
others find him a “cute and
unthreatening” American.
Source: Coco Masters, “Not Everyone Is Lovin’ Japan’s
New McDonald’s Mascot,”
Time, August 25, 2009, http://
www.time.com/time/world/
article/0,8599,1918246,00.html .
Instant Replay
To eliminate sexist pronouns,
1. Use plurals.
2. Use second-person you.
3. Revise the sentence to omit
the pronoun.
4. Use pronoun pairs.
I R
To eliminate se
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Culture provides patterns of acceptable behavior and beliefs. (LO 3-1)
• In high-context cultures, most of the information is inferred from the context of a message; little is explicitly conveyed. In
low-context cultures, context is less important; most informa- tion is explicitly spelled out. (LO 3-1)
• Nonverbal signals can be misinterpreted just as easily as can
verbal symbols (words). (LO 3-2) • No gesture has a universal meaning across all cultures. Gestures
that signify approval in North America may be insults in other
countries, and vice versa. (LO 3-2)
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 54loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 54 19/12/12 7:40 PM19/12/12 7:40 PM
Confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 55
• Personal space is the distance someone wants between him- self or herself and other people in ordinary, nonintimate inter-
changes. (LO 3-2) • North Americans who believe that “time is money” are often
frustrated in negotiations with people who want to establish a
personal relationship before they decide whether to do business
with each other or who measure time in 15- or 30-minute incre-
ments rather than the 5-minute intervals North Americans are
used to. (LO 3-2) • Monochronic cultures treat time as a resource. The United
States is classified as monochronic. Polychronic cultures emphasize relationships. (LO 3-2)
• Conversational style denotes our conversational patterns and the way we show interest, politeness, appropriateness. (LO 3-2)
• The successful intercultural communicator is (LO 3-3) • Aware that his or her preferred values and behaviors are
influenced by culture and are not necessarily “right.”
• Flexible and open to change.
• Sensitive to verbal and nonverbal behavior.
• Aware of the values, beliefs, and practices in other cultures.
• Sensitive to differences among individuals within a culture.
• Generational differences may affect perceptions in the work-
place. Use empathy and see other points of view to adapt.
(LO 3-4) • When dealing with discrimination, review your options care-
fully—consider that not everything may be discrimination,
decide on a strategy, chart your own path, and take the high
road. (LO 3-5) • Traditional pronouns are sexist when they refer to a class of
people, not to specific individuals. Four ways to make the sen-
tence nonsexist are to use plurals, to use you, to revise the sen- tence to omit the pronoun, and to use pronoun pairs. (LO 3-6)
• Bias-free language is fair and friendly; it complies with the law.
It includes all readers; it helps to sustain goodwill. (LO 3-6)
Assignments for Module 3
3.1 What sources create diversity in the workplace? (LO 3-1 to LO 3-4)
3.2 What is intercultural competence? (LO 3-1 to LO 3-4)
3.3 What four methods make a sentence nonsexist? (LO 3-6)
Questions for Comprehension
3.4 What other cultures are you most likely to work with? How could you learn about those cultures? (LO 3-1 to LO 3-4)
3.5 You can’t possibly learn what every symbol means in every culture. How can you avoid offending the people you work
with? (LO 3-1 to LO 3-5)
3.6 Suppose you have an audience that is sexist, racist, or prej- udiced in some other way. To what extent, if any, should
you adapt to this aspect of your audience? (LO 3-6)
3.7 It’s sexist to always put the male pronoun first in pronoun pairs (e.g., he/she rather than she/he or s/he ). Why do the authors of this book recommend that method? Which
method do you prefer? (LO 3-6)
Questions for Critical Thinking
3.8 Planning an International Trip (LO 3-1 to LO 3-3)
Assume that you’re going to the capital city of another
country on business two months from now. (You pick the
country.) Use a search engine to find out
• What holidays will be celebrated in that month.
• What the climate will be.
• What current events are in the news.
• What key features of business etiquette you should know.
• What kinds of gifts you should bring to your hosts.
• What sightseeing you should try to include.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Write a memo to your instructor reporting the informa-
tion you found.
b. Post a message to the class analyzing the pages. Include
the URLs as hotlinks.
c. Make an oral presentation to the class.
d. Join with a small group of students to create a group
report on several countries in a region.
e. Make a group oral presentation to the class.
Exercises and Problems
You’ve drafted instructions for a product that will be sold in
South Korea. Before the text is translated, you want to find out if
the pictures will be clear. So you send an e-mail to your Korean
counterpart, Jang Kyu Yi, asking for a response within a week.
Note, in Korean culture, last names usually go first, as
in Yi Jang Kyu.
Write an e-mail message; assume you will send the pic-
tures as an attachment.
3.9 Sending a Draft to South Korea (LO 3-1 to LO 3-3)
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 55loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 55 19/12/12 7:40 PM19/12/12 7:40 PM
Rev.confirming pages
56 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Use one or more of the following ways to get information
about a country. Information you might focus on could
include
• Business opportunities
• History and geography
• Principal exports and imports
• Dominant religions
• Holidays
• School system
• Political system
1. Write to the U.S. & Foreign Commercial Service Office
in your district. (Your instructor has the addresses in the
Instructor’s Manual. )
2. Check the country’s trade office, if there is one in your city.
3. Interview someone from that country or someone who
has lived there.
4. Read published materials about the country.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your findings orally with a small group of
students.
b. Summarize your findings in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present your findings to the class.
d. E-mail your findings to the class.
e. Join with a group of classmates to write a group report
on the country.
3.10 Requesting Information about a Country (LO 3-1 to LO 3-3)
Create a web page for managers who must communicate
across cultures.
Assume that this page can be accessed from the organi-
zation’s intranet. Offer at least seven links. (More is better.)
You may offer information as well as links to other pages
with information. At the top of the page, offer an overview
of what the page covers. At the bottom of the page, put the
creation/update date and your name and e-mail address.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Turn in two laser copies of your page(s). On another
page, give the URLs for each link.
b. Turn in one laser copy of your page(s) and a disk with
the HTML code and .gif files.
c. Write a memo to your instructor
(1) identifying the audience for which the page is
designed and explaining (2) the search strategies you
used to find material on this topic, (3) why you chose
the pages and information you’ve included, and (4) why
you chose the layout and graphics you’ve used.
d. Post your memo in an e-mail message to the class.
e. Present your page orally to the class.
Hints:
• Limit your page to just one culture or country.
• Try to cover as many topics as possible: history, politics,
notable people, arts, conversational style, customs, and
so forth. For a culture in another country, also include
money, living accommodations, geography, transport,
weather, business practices, and so forth.
• Chunk your links into small groups under headings.
• See ▶▶ Module 5 on web page design.
3.11 Creating a Web Page (LO 3-1 to LO 3-3, LO 3-5)
In each of the following situations, identify one or
more ways that cultural differences may be leading to
miscommunication.
1. Alan is a U.S. sales representative in Mexico. He makes
appointments and is careful to be on time. But the person
he’s calling on is frequently late. To save time, Alan tries
to get right to business. But his hosts want to talk about
sightseeing and his family. Even worse, his appoint-
ments are interrupted constantly, not only by business
phone calls, but also by long conversations with other
people and even the customers’ children who come into
the office. Alan’s first progress report is very negative.
He hasn’t yet made a sale. Perhaps Mexico just isn’t the
right place to sell his company’s products.
2. Clark travels to Switzerland to set up the European
branch office of his company. Because he is unfamiliar
with the local transportation, he has been late several
times to meetings with public officials who can expe-
dite getting the proper permits and licenses. He’s also
had to cancel one meeting. Now, when he tries to make
appointments, he is told nothing is available for weeks.
3. Stan wants to negotiate a joint venture with a Chinese com-
pany. He asks Tung-Sen Lee if the Chinese people have
enough discretionary income to afford his product. Mr. Lee
is silent for a time, and then says, “Your product is good.
People in the West must like it.” Stan smiles, pleased that
Mr. Lee recognizes the quality of his product, and he gives
Mr. Lee a contract to sign. Weeks later, Stan still hasn’t
heard anything. If China is going to be so inefficient, he
wonders if he really should try to do business there.
4. Elspeth is very proud of her participatory management
style. On assignment in India, she is careful not to give
orders and instead asks for suggestions. But people rarely
suggest anything. Even a formal suggestion system
doesn’t work. And to make matters worse, she doesn’t
sense the respect and camaraderie of the plant she man-
aged in the United States. Perhaps, she decides gloomily,
people in India just aren’t ready for a woman boss.
3.12 Identifying Sources of Miscommunication (LO 3-1 to LO 3-4)
Three days ago, one of your subordinates forwarded to
everyone in the office a bit of e-mail humor he’d received
from a friend. Titled “You know you’re Southern when
. . .,” the message poked fun at Southern speech, attitudes,
and lifestyles. Today you get this message from your
subordinate:
3.13 Advising a Hasty Subordinate (LO 3-4, LO 3-5)
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 56loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 56 28/01/13 8:19 PM28/01/13 8:19 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures 57
Answer the message.
3.14 Responding to a Complaint (LO 3-4 to LO 3-6)
Subject: Should I Apologize?
I’m getting flamed left and right because of the Southern message. I thought it was funny, but some
people just can’t take a joke. So far I’ve tried not to respond to the flames, figuring that would just make
things worse. But now I’m wondering if I should apologize. What do you think?
Subject: Complaint about Sexist Language
The article about the “Help Desk” says that Martina Luna and I “are the key customer service
representatives ‘manning’ the desk.” I don’t MAN anything! I WORK.
Subject: Photos in the Employee Newsletter
Please tell me what to do about photos in the monthly employee newsletter. I’m concerned that almost no
single issue represents the diversity of employees we have here.
As you know, our layout allows two visuals each month. One of those is always the employee of the
month (EM). In the last year, most of those have been male and all but two have been white. What makes
it worse is that people want photos that make them look good. You may remember that Ron Olmos was
the EM two months ago; in the photo he wanted me to use, you can’t tell that he’s in a wheelchair. Often
the EM is the only photo; the other visual is often a graph of sales or something relating to quality.
Even if the second visual is another photo, it may not look balanced in terms of gender and race. After
all, 62% of our employees are men, and 78% are white. Should the pictures try to represent those
percentages? The leadership positions (both in management and in the union) are even more heavily male
and white. Should we run pictures of people doing important things, and risk continuing the imbalance?
I guess I could use more visuals, but then there wouldn’t be room for as many stories—and people really
like to see their names in print. Plus, giving people information about company activities and sales is
important to maintaining goodwill. A bigger newsletter would be one way to have more visuals and keep
the content, but with the cost-cutting measures we’re under, that doesn’t look likely.
What should I do?
You’re Director of Corporate Communications; the
employee newsletter is produced by your office. Today you
get this e-mail message from Caroline Huber:
Respond to Caroline. And send a message to your staff,
reminding them to edit newsletter stories as well as external
documents to replace biased language.
You’ve just been named Vice President for Diversity, the
first person in your organization to hold this position.
Today, you receive this memo from Sheila Lathan, who
edits the employee newsletter.
3.15 Answering an Inquiry about Photos (LO 3-5)
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Work in a small group with other students to come up
with a recommendation for Sheila.
b. Write a memo responding to her.
c. Write an article for the employee newsletter about the
photo policy you recommend and how it relates to the
company’s concern for diversity.
3.16 Revising Sexist Job Titles (LO 3-6)
barmaid
chairwoman
deliveryman
female soldier
Suggest nonsexist alternatives for the following: fireman
lady lawyer
lunch lady
male model
ombudsman
policeman
postman
stuntman
Explain the source of bias in each of the following and
revise to remove the bias.
1. While he is a victim of muscular dystrophy, Salvatore is
one of our top salesmen.
2. Make sure the young men you hire are married because
we are looking for wholesome, responsible employees.
3. Though she was born and raised in the south, Terri is sur-
prisingly open-minded about people of different races.
3.17 Eliminating Biased Language (LO 3-6)
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 57loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 57 25/01/13 9:06 PM25/01/13 9:06 PM
Rev.confirming pages
58 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
4. We’ll be showing a video at the conference, but Salva-
tore, who is blind, probably will have little interest in it.
5. Sam Madigan
Ark Industries
5112 Grosvenor Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90066
Dear Mr. Madigan:
6. While she was probably admitted because she is a
woman and a minority, Kendra nonetheless graduated at
the top of her engineering class that year.
7. Though Xian doesn’t look like he was born in this coun-
try, he speaks English better than anyone else I know.
8. We want to provide a quiet space for religious mem-
bers of the community to reflect, but Jews and Muslims
can use the space, too.
9. Make sure you seat the entire team, including the
minorities, Atik, Curtis, and Brianna, at the center table
during this year’s “Celebration of Diversity” dinner.
10. You certainly can’t go wrong with Joanne—the old girl
has more enthusiasm than employees half her age.
Idioms are phrases that have specific meanings different from the
meanings for each individual word.
Idiom Meaning Cut to the chase Express your main point
immediately.
Read between the lines Look for a hidden message.
Like idioms, slang changes the definitions of words. Bad, a word that is negative, becomes positive when used in slang to
denote something good or desirable. Dictionaries often are slow to
adapt to slang, which changes constantly.
You need to understand a culture to make sense of its idioms.
Because idioms usually violate the rules of standard edited English,
they are particularly troublesome for people new to the language.
To learn idioms,
1. Study native speakers in person and on television. When pos-
sible, ask native speakers what unfamiliar words and phrases
mean.
2. Underline unfamiliar passages in newspapers and magazines.
Ask a friend or your instructor to explain their meaning.
3. Practice what you learn with a conversation partner.
Exercises
What do these 10 common idiomatic phrases mean literally? What
do they mean in business?
1. Tighten our belts.
2. Close out the books.
3. Get off the ground.
4. Take stock of the situation.
5. Carry the day
6. Have the floor.
7. Crunch the numbers.
8. Keep your nose to the grindstone.
9. Pick over the bones.
10. Incentivize your customers.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Using Idioms
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 58loc03261_ch03_038-058.indd 58 28/01/13 8:27 PM28/01/13 8:27 PM
Confirming pages
59
S killed performances look easy and effortless. In reality, as every dancer, musician, or athlete
knows, they’re the product of hard work, hours of practice, attention to detail, and intense con-
centration. Like all skilled performances, writing rests on a base of work.
The pace at which writers compose has increased. While memos and letters are still standard busi-
ness documents, e-mail messages are commonplace, and increasingly, people use social media at
work. The pressure may be to dash off messages as quickly as possible, but a better strategy is to
send messages as quickly as necessary, with the appropriate amount of planning, writing, and revis-
ing. Practicing the techniques in this module until they become second nature will help you compose
messages efficiently and successfully.
LO 4-1 Apply processes for writing quality improvement.
LO 4-2 Manage time for writing projects.
LO 4-3 Plan writing and speaking projects for increased success.
LO 4-4 Apply strategies for revision.
LO 4-5 Support writing with grammar and spell-checkers.
LO 4-6 Apply strategies for feedback and revision with it.
LO 4-7 Apply strategies for form letter use.
LO 4-8 Apply strategies for writer’s block and procrastination solutions.
Module 4 shows the value of using a multistep approach to create the best documents. After com-
pleting the module, you should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Planning, Writing, and Revising 4
Module
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 59loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 59 12/18/12 10:16 PM12/18/12 10:16 PM
Confirming pages
60 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Planning, writing, and revising include the following activities:
Planning
• Analyzing the problem, defining your purposes, and analyzing the audience; thinking
of information, benefits, and objections; choosing a pattern of organization or making
an outline; and so on.
• Gathering the information you need—from the message you’re answering, a person, a
book, or the web.
Writing
• Putting words on paper or on a screen. Writing can be lists, fragmentary notes, stream-
of-consciousness writing, or a formal draft.
Revising
• Evaluating your work and measuring it against your goals and the requirements of
the situation and audience. The best evaluation results from re-seeing your draft as if someone else had written it. Will your audience understand it? Is it complete?
Convincing? Friendly?
• Getting feedback from someone else. Is your pattern of organization appropriate? Does
a revision solve an earlier problem? Are there any typos in the final copy?
• Adding, deleting, substituting, or rearranging. Revision can be changes in single words
or in large sections of a document.
• Editing the draft to see that it satisfies the requirements of standard English. Here you’d
correct spelling and mechanical errors and check word choice and format. Unlike revision,
which can produce major changes in meaning, editing focuses on the surface of writing.
• Proofreading the final copy to see that it’s free from typographical errors.
Note the following points about these activities:
• The activities do not have to come in this order. Some people may gather information after writing a draft when they see that they need more specifics to achieve their purposes.
• You do not have to finish one activity to start another. Some writers plan a short section and write it, plan the next short section and write it, and so on throughout the
document. Evaluating what is already written may cause a writer to do more planning
or to change the original plan.
• You may do an activity several times, not just once. For an important document, you might get feedback, revise, get more feedback, revise yet again, and so on.
• Most writers do not use all activities for all the documents they write. You’ll use more activities when you write a new kind of document, about a new subject, or to a
new audience.
Does it matter what process I use? LO 4-1
▶ Using expert processes will improve your writing.
Just as athletes can improve their game by studying videotapes and working on just how
they kick a ball or spin during a jump, so writers can improve their writing by studying
their own processes. No single writing process works for all writers all of the time. How-
ever, expert writers seem to use different processes than novice writers. 1 Expert writers are
more likely to
What constitutes revision—and
when it’s acceptable—depends
on many factors, including
audience expectations. For
instance, Broadway producers
found themselves facing
criticism when revising the
George Gershwin classic
Porgy and Bess, which was
“reimagined” for contemporary
audiences. Revising history
texts can elicit similar results,
and even the term can create
arguments as some people
argue it’s really about being
more inclusive. Said author
Kenneth C. Davis, “In school,
we focus on the ‘important
people’ and Founding Fathers,
but what that ‘great man
version’ of history does is really
leave out an awful lot of people
who have tremendous impact.”
Sources: Anthony Tommasini, “Adapting, Revising, Provoking,”
The New York Times, March
9, 2012, http://www.nytimes.
com/2012/03/11/arts/music/
some-ground-rules-for-
revising-operas-and-musicals.
html?pagewanted 5 all ; and Ashley
Strickland, “Revising History to
Show America’s ‘Secret Heroes,’”
CNN, April 17, 2012, http://www.
cnn.com/2012/04/17/living/secret-
american-heroes/index.html .
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 60loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 60 12/18/12 10:16 PM12/18/12 10:16 PM
Confirming pages
Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 61
A 15-year-old in Japan sold
110,000 paper copies of the
three-volume novel, Wolf Boy
x Natural Girl, she composed
on her cell phone. Keitai, the
name for the genre, allows
writers to publish manuscript
pages on a website as soon
as they are finished. Popular
novels are later printed and
sold, in this case grossing
more than $611,000.
Source: Yuriko Nagano, “For Japan’s Cell Phone Novelists, Proof
of Success is in the Print,” The
LosAngeles Times, February 9,
2010,http://www.latimes.com/
news/nation-and-world/la-fg-
japanphone-novel9-2010feb
09,0,116266. story?track 5 rss.
• Realize that the first draft can be revised.
• Write regularly.
• Break big jobs into small chunks.
• Have clear goals focusing on purpose and audience.
• Have several different strategies to choose from.
• Use rules flexibly.
• Wait to edit until after the draft is complete.
Research shows that experts differ from novices in identifying and analyzing the
initial problem more effectively, understanding the task more broadly and deeply,
drawing from a wider repertoire of strategies, and seeing patterns more clearly.
Experts actually composed more slowly than novices, perhaps because they rarely
settled for work that was just “OK.” Finally, experts were better at evaluating their
own work. 2
Thinking about the writing process and consciously adopting “expert” processes will
help you become a better writer.
I don’t have much time. How should I use it? LO 4-2
▶ Save two-thirds of your time for planning and revising.
To get the best results from the time you have, spend only a third of your time actually
“writing.” Spend at least one-third of your time analyzing the situation and your audience,
gathering information, and organizing what you have to say. Spend another third evalu-
ating what you’ve said, revising the draft(s) to meet your purposes and the needs of the
audience and the organization, editing a late draft to remove any errors in grammar and
mechanics, and proofreading the final typed copy.
When you first get an assignment, think about all the steps you’ll need to go through so
you can plan your time for that project. Certainly two writers might need different amounts
of time to produce the same quality document. Figure 4.1 shows how a writer might use six
hours needed to plan, write, and revise a memo.
Proofread carefully to communicate a clear message and to protect your credibility.
Copyright © Aaron Bacall/The New Yorker Collection,
www.cartoonbank.com .
Site to See
Go to
www.ucc.vt.edu/stdysk/ tminteractive.html
Use this calculator from Virginia
Polytechnic Institute and State
University to see how much
time you have for schoolwork
weekly. Then see how much
of that time you can spend
planning, writing, and revising.
Go to
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 61loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 61 12/18/12 10:16 PM12/18/12 10:16 PM
Confirming pages
62 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
What planning should I do before I begin writing or speaking? LO 4-3
▶ As much as you can!
Spend at least one-third of your time planning and organizing before you begin to
write. The better your ideas are when you start, the fewer drafts you’ll need to produce
a good document. Start by using the analysis questions from Module 1 to identify
purpose and audience. Use the strategies described in Module 2 to analyze audience
and in Module 8 to develop reader benefits. Gather information you can use for your
document.
If ideas won’t come, try the following techniques.
• Brainstorm . Think of all the ideas you can, without judging them. Consciously try to get at least a dozen different ideas before you stop. The first idea you have may not be
the best.
• Freewrite . 3 Make yourself write, without stopping, for 10 minutes or so, even if you must write “I will think of something soon.” At the end of 10 minutes, read what you’ve
written and identify the best point in the draft. Get a clean paper or screen and write for
another 10 uninterrupted minutes. Read this draft, marking anything that’s good and
should be kept, and then write again for another 10 minutes. By the third session, you
will probably produce several sections that are worth keeping—maybe even a complete
draft that’s ready to be revised.
• Cluster . 4 Write your topic in the middle of the page and circle it. Write down the ideas the topic suggests, circling them, too. (The circles are designed to tap into the nonlinear
half of your brain.) When you’ve filled the page, look for patterns or repeated ideas.
Use different colored pens to group related ideas. Then use these ideas to develop
reader benefits in a memo, questions for a survey, or content for the body of a report.
Figure 4.2 presents the clusters that one writer created about business communication in
the United States and France.
• Talk to your audiences. As Rachel Spilka’s research shows, talking to internal and external audiences helped writers involve readers in the planning process,
Figure 4.1 Allocating Time in Writing a Memo Total time: 6 hours
Planning
Understand the policy.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1). Think about document design (▶▶ Module 5). Organize the message.
1.5 hours
Writing
Create a draft.
1.5 hours
Revising
Reread draft. 3.0 hours
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions and against principles of business communication.
Revise draft.
Ask for feedback.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Initial memo.
Duplicate and distribute document.
The habits of professional
writers are as diverse as the
prose they create. When
composing Interview with the
Vampire, Anne Rice revised
each typed page before
she wrote the next. Michael
Ondaatje, whose The English
Patient won the Booker
Prize, literally cuts and pastes
handwritten passages. While
drafting Lowboy, John Wray
rode subways with a laptop,
sometimes six hours a day.
Source: Alexandra Alter, “How to Write a Great Novel,” The Wall
Street Journal, November 13,
2009, W4.
Creative planning can lead to
creative solutions. Mortgage
Resolution Partners offers
a plan in California that
has local government use
eminent domain to condemn
a distressed home, pay
fair market value for it to
the mortgage owner, and
then help to refinance the
home through the company,
lowering mortgage payments
in hopes of keeping people
in their homes. While the
plan irks some banks and
financial experts, others see
it as potentially useful, even
if they have their doubts. The
University of Missouri’s Randall
Wray, for instance, notes that
because foreclosures are
hampering America’s economic
recovery, “Anything that will
stop that I think is worth
looking at.”
Source: Illyce R. Glink, “Could Seizing a Home Save a
Homeowner?” July 17, 2012,
http://realestate.yahoo.com/news/
could-seizing-a-home-save-a-
homeowner-.html .
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 62loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 62 12/18/12 10:17 PM12/18/12 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 63
understand the social and political relationships among readers, and negotiate
conflicts orally rather than depending solely on the document. These writers were
then able to think about content as well as about organization and style, appeal to
common grounds (such as reducing waste or increasing productivity) that several
readers shared, and reduce the number of revisions needed before documents
were approved. 5
Thinking about the content, layout, or structure of your document can also give you
ideas. For long documents, write out the headings you’ll use. For anything that’s under
five pages, less formal notes will probably work. You may want to jot down ideas you
can use as the basis for a draft. For an oral presentation, a meeting, or a document with
lots of visuals, try creating a storyboard , with a rectangle representing each page or unit. Draw a box with a visual for each main point. Below the box, write a short caption
or label.
Letters and memos will go faster if you choose a basic organizational pattern before you
start. Modules 10, 11, and 12 give detailed patterns of organization for the most common
kinds of letters and memos. You may want to customize those patterns with a planning guide 6 to help you keep the “big picture” in mind as you write. Figure 4.3 shows planning guides developed for specific kinds of documents.
Figure 4.2 Clustering Helps Generate Ideas
Do the French prefer oral or written
communication?
Isn't it hard to get a phone line?
Or is the problem only one for individuals?
Channels
Do they use Fax? E-mail?
Time lag?
Different for job hunting than
for marketing brochure?
Check marketing brochures
Formats for letters
Dates— Different order for month, date
Business Communication U.S.A./France
Time zones
Persuasion
What is persuasive? Look at Layout/white space Headings Organization Content — what's included Kind(s) of evidence Importance of
People Technology Service Price
Handwriting vs.
typing
Language
Style
Culture
Influence of European Common
Market —
Do they see themselves as French or European?
"Franglais"?
Do French people know English well? Do they know U.S. or British English?
Problems translating? Is it better to write and speak in English if my French isn't good?
The letters I've seen from France are stuffy. Is that
considered good? Should I imi- tate that style when writing in
English to a French business person?
How it affects written communication,
meetings, and negotiations
Nonverbal Distance to stand apart
Body language, Handshakes—
theirs is "weaker"
Are reasons for judgment the same? Results (as in U.S.) or something else?
Instant Replay
How Experts Write
Expert writers
• Realize that the first draft
can be revised.
• Write regularly.
• Break big jobs into small
chunks.
• Have clear goals focusing
on purpose and audience.
• Have several different
strategies to choose from.
• Use rules flexibly.
• Wait to edit until after the
draft is complete.
I R
How Experts
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 63loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 63 12/18/12 10:17 PM12/18/12 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
64 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
What is revision? How do I do it? LO 4-4
▶ Revision means “re-seeing” the document.
Good writers make their drafts better by judicious revising, editing, and proofreading.
• Revising means making changes that will better satisfy your purposes and your audience.
• Editing means making surface-level changes that make the document grammatically correct.
• Proofreading means checking to be sure the document is free from typographical errors.
When you’re writing to a new audience or have to solve a particularly difficult prob-
lem, plan to revise the draft at least three times. The first time, look for content and clar-
ity. The second time, check the organization and layout. Finally, check style and tone,
using the information in Modules 15 and 16. Figure 4.4 summarizes the questions you
should ask.
Often you’ll get the best revision by setting aside your draft, getting a blank page or
screen, and redrafting. This strategy takes advantage of the thinking you did on your first
draft without locking you into the sentences in it.
As you revise, be sure to read the document through from start to finish. This is par-
ticularly important if you’ve composed in several sittings or if you’ve used text from other
documents. Researchers have found that such documents tend to be well organized but
don’t flow well. 7 You may need to add transitions, cut repetitive parts, or change words to
create a uniform level of formality throughout the document.
If you’re really in a time bind, do a light revision (see Figure 4.5 ). The quality of the
final document may not be as high as with a thorough revision, but even a light revision is
better than skipping revision.
Planning guide for a trip report
Planning guide for a proposal
Planning guide for an e-mail message
Planning guide for a credit rejection
• Customer's Concern #1 Our Proposal/Answer
• Customer's Concern #2 Our Proposal/Answer
• Customer's Concern #3 Our Proposal/Answer
• Customer's Concern #4 Our Proposal/Answer
• Ask for Action
• Reason
• Refusal
• Alternative (Layaway/
Co-signer/Provide more information)
• Goodwill Ending
• The Big Picture from the Company's Point of View: We Can Go Forward on the Project
• Criteria/Goals
• What We Did
• Why We Know Enough to Go Forward
• Next Steps
• My Purpose
• Points I Want to Make
• Document(s) to Attach
• Next Steps
Figure 4.3 Customized
Planning Guides for Specific
Documents
Source: E-mail and proposal guides based on Fred Reynolds, “What Adult Work-World Writers Have Taught Me About Adult Work-World Writing,” Professional Writing in Context: Lessons from Teaching and Consulting in Worlds of Work (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, 1995), 18, 20.
Site to See
Go to
www.gcflearnfree.org/ word2010
for tips on using Microsoft
Word when writing and
revising.
Go to
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 64loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 64 12/18/12 10:17 PM12/18/12 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 65
Content and Clarity
h Does your document meet the needs of the organization and of the reader—and make you look good?
h Have you given readers all the information they need to understand and act on your message?
h Is all the information accurate? h Is each sentence clear? Is the message free from apparently contradictory
statements?
h Are generalizations and benefits backed up with adequate supporting detail?
Organization and Layout
h Is the pattern of organization appropriate for your purposes, audience, and situation?
h Are transitions between ideas smooth? Do ideas within paragraphs flow smoothly? h Does the design of the document make it easy for readers to find the information
they need? Is the document visually inviting?
h Are the points emphasized by layout ones that deserve emphasis? h Are the first and last paragraphs effective?
Style and Tone
h Is the message easy to read? h Is the message friendly and free from biased language? h Does the message build goodwill?
Checklist for
Thorough Revision
C t t
CC ff
Figure 4.4 Thorough
Revision Checklist
h Are the first and last paragraphs effective? h Does the design of the document make it easy for readers to find the information
they need?
h Have you told the reader what to do?
Checklist for
Light Revision
h
CC ff
Figure 4.5 Light Revision
Checklist
Can a grammar checker do my editing for me? LO 4-5
▶ No. You have to decide whether to make each change.
Grammar checkers are good at finding missing halves. For example, if you open a
parenthesis and never close it, a grammar checker will note that a second one is needed.
Of course, you have to decide where it goes. In terms of other errors, all a grammar
checker can do is ask you about what you have done. A grammar checker can tell you
that you’ve used a passive verb, and ask if you want to change it. But you have to decide
whether the passive is justified. If it finds the word well, the grammar checker can tell
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 65loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 65 12/18/12 10:17 PM12/18/12 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
66 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
you that good and well are sometimes confused. But you have to decide which word fits your meaning (▶▶ Module 15). You still need to know the rules so that you can decide which changes to make.
Check to be sure that the following are accurate:
• Sentence structure
• Subject–verb and noun–pronoun agreement
• Punctuation
• Word usage
• Spelling—including spelling of names
• Numbers
You need to know the rules of grammar and punctuation to edit. Module 14 reviews
grammar and punctuation. Module 15 reviews words that are often confused. Most writers
make a small number of errors over and over. If you know that you have trouble with dan-
gling modifiers or subject–verb agreement, for example, specifically look for them in your
draft. Also look for any errors that especially bother your boss and correct them.
Editing should always follow revision. There’s no point in taking time to fix a grammati- cal error in a sentence that may be cut when you clarify your meaning or tighten your style.
Some writers edit more accurately when they print out a copy of a document and edit the hard
copy. But beware: Laser printing makes a page look good but does nothing to correct errors.
I spell-check. Do I still need to proofread? LO 4-5
▶ Yes.
Proofread every document both with a spell-checker and by eye to catch the errors a spell-
checker can’t find.
Proofreading is hard because writers tend to see what they know should be there rather
than what really is there. Because it’s always easier to proof something you haven’t writ-
ten, you may want to swap papers with a proofing buddy. (Be sure the person looks for
typos, not for content.)
To proofread,
• Read once quickly for meaning to see that nothing has been left out.
• Read a second time, slowly. When you find an error, correct it and then reread that line. Readers tend to become less attentive after they find one error and may miss other errors close to the one they’ve spotted.
• To proofread a document you know well, read the lines backward or the pages out of order.
Always triple-check numbers, headings, the first and last paragraphs, and the reader’s name.
How can I get better feedback? LO 4-6
▶ Ask for the kind of feedback you need.
The process of drafting, getting feedback, revising, and getting more feedback is called
cycling . Dianna Booher reports that documents in her clients’ firms cycled an average of 4.2 times before reaching the intended audience.
8 Susan Kleimann studied a 10-page docu-
ment whose 20 drafts made a total of 31 stops on the desks of nine reviewers on four dif-
ferent levels. 9 Being asked to revise a document is a fact of life in businesses, government
agencies, and nonprofit organizations.
To improve the quality of the feedback you get, tell people which aspects you’d espe-
cially like comments about. For example, when you give a reader the outline or plan-
ning draft, 10
you might want to know whether the general approach is appropriate. After
your second draft, you might want to know whether reader benefits are well developed.
Instant Replay
Revising, Editing, and
Proofreading
Revising means making changes that will better satisfy
your purposes and your
audience.
Editing means making surface-level changes that
make the document
grammatically correct.
Proofreading means checking to be sure the
document is free from
typographical errors.
I R
Revising Ed
Instant Replay
How to Revise
When you’re writing to a new
audience or have to solve a
particularly difficult problem,
plan to revise the draft at least
three times. The first time,
look for content and clarity.
The second time, check the
organization and layout. Finally,
check style and tone. Do
all this before you edit and proofread.
I R
How to Revi
Site to See
Go to
www.wisc.edu/writing/ Handbook/Proofreading .html
The University of Wisconsin
Writing Center offers tips on
proofreading.
Go to
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 66loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 66 12/18/12 10:17 PM12/18/12 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 67
When you reach the polishing draft, you’ll be ready for feedback on style and grammar.
Figure 4.6 lists questions to ask.
It’s easy to feel defensive when someone criticizes your work. If the feedback stings,
put it aside until you can read it without feeling defensive. Even if you think the reader has
misunderstood what you were trying to say, the fact that the reader complained means the
section could be improved. If the reader says “This isn’t true” and you know that the state-
ment is true, several kinds of revision might make the truth clear to the reader: rephrasing
the statement, giving more information or examples, or documenting the source.
Can I use form letters? LO 4-7
▶ Yes. But make sure they’re good.
A form letter is a prewritten fill-in-the-blank letter designed for routine situations. Some form letters have different paragraphs that can be inserted, depending on the situation. For
example, a form letter admitting students to college might have additional paragraphs to be
added for students who were going to receive financial aid.
Boilerplate is language—sentences, paragraphs, even pages—from a previous docu- ment that a writer includes in a new document. In academic papers, material written by
others must be quoted and documented. However, because businesses own the documents
their employees write, old text may be included without attribution.
In some cases, boilerplate may have been written years ago. For example, many legal
documents, including apartment leases and sales contracts, are almost completely boil-
erplated. In other cases, writers may use boilerplate they themselves have written. For
example, a section from a proposal describing the background of the problem could also be
used in the final report after the proposed work was completed. A section from a progress
report describing what the writer had done could be used with only a few changes in the
Methods section of the final report.
Before sending out any
message—paper or
electronic—address it
correctly and proof it carefully.
Employees at Aviva Investors
thought they were being
dismissed after receiving
an e-mail message, a blow
made plausible because the
company had announced it
would trim its workforce. It
turns out the message was
meant for only one employee
who was leaving the company,
but the language wishing the
reader “all the best for the
future” was chilling to workers
already worried about job
security. Needless to say, such
actions may produce less-
than-positive feedback from
the remaining employees.
Source: Fox Van Allen, “E-mail Accident Leads an Entire Company
to Think It’s Being Fired,” April 23,
2012, http://news.yahoo.com/
blogs/technology-blog/email-
accident-leads-entire-company-
think-being-fired-165511639.html .
Outline or Planning Draft
h Does the plan seem “on the right track”? h What topics should be added? Should any be cut? h Do you have any other general suggestions?
Revising Draft
h Does the message satisfy all its purposes? h Is the message adapted to the audience(s)? h Is the organization effective? h What parts aren’t clear? h What ideas need further development? h Do you have any other suggestions?
Polishing Draft
h Are there any problems with word choice or sentence structure? h Did you find any inconsistencies? h Did you find any typos? h Is the document’s design effective?
Checklist for
Questions to Ask Readers
O tli
CC ff
Figure 4.6 Questions to Ask
Readers
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 67loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 67 12/18/12 10:17 PM12/18/12 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
68
Revising after Feedback LO 4-6
Building a Critical Skill
When you get feedback that you understand and agree with,
make the change.
If you get feedback you don’t understand, ask for
clarification.
• Paraphrase: “So you’re asking me to give more
information?”
• Ask for more information: “Can you suggest a way to
do that?”
• Test your inference: “Would it help if I did such and such?”
Sometimes you may get feedback you don’t agree with.
• If it’s an issue of grammatical correctness, check this book.
(Sometimes even smart people get things wrong.)
• If it’s a matter of content, recognize that something about the draft isn’t as good as it could be: something is leading the
reader to respond negatively.
• If the reader thinks a fact is wrong (and you know it’s right),
show where the fact came from. “According to. . . .”
• If the reader suggests a change in wording you don’t like, try
another option.
• If the reader seems to have misunderstood or misread the
text, think about ways to make the meaning clearer.
Your supervisor’s comments on a draft can help you improve
that document, help you write better drafts the next time, and
teach you about the culture of your organization. Look for pat-
terns in the feedback you receive. Are you asked to use more
formal language or to make the document more conversational?
Does your boss want to see an overview before details? Does
your company prefer information presented in bulleted lists
rather than in paragraphs? Are your photos or artwork bias free?
Feedback is sometimes painful, but focus on the point of the
feedback rather than feelings. Ford Motor Company CEO Alan
Mulally raised eyebrows when he publicly criticized the looks
of the 2008 Taurus. Derrick Kuzak, head of global develop-
ment, went on to compare the car to TV’s Homer Simpson, and
the two stressed that a more attractive successor would be in the
works. “That’s only delivered when the engineering team does
not dumb down the design because of engineering and manu-
facturing feasibility concerns,” Kuzak added. While the com-
ments may have rankled some insiders, analysts welcomed the
company’s willingness to fix problems.
If honest, sharp criticism or even a rebuke can be beneficial.
Pay close attention to what is at the heart of a comment rather
than how the comment is delivered. Remember, though, what it
feels like to be on the receiving end when you give feedback. Temper your words, and let your example encourage others to
be more gracious.
Source: “Taurus and Homer Simpson—Separated at Birth?” January 29, 2008, downloaded at www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/01/29/ford.
homer.simpson.ap/index.html .
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 68loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 68 12/18/12 10:17 PM12/18/12 10:17 PM
Confirming pages
Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 69
Writers use form letters and boilerplate to save time and energy and to use language that
has already been approved by the organization’s legal staff. However, as Glenn Broadhead
and Richard Freed point out, reusing old text creates two problems. 11
• Using unrevised boilerplate can create a document with incompatible styles and tones.
• Form letters and boilerplate can encourage writers to see situations and audiences as
identical when in fact they differ.
Before you use a form letter, make sure it is well written and that it applies to the situation
in which you are thinking of using it.
Before you incorporate old language in a new document,
• Check to see that the old section is well written.
• Consciously look for differences between the two situations, audiences, or purposes
that may require different content, organization, or wording.
• Read through the whole document at a single sitting to be sure that style, tone, and level
of detail are consistent in the old and new sections.
How can I overcome writer’s block and procrastination? LO 4-8
▶ Talk, participate, and practice. Reward yourself for activities that lead to writing.
According to psychologist Robert Boice, a combination of five actions works best to over-
come writer’s block: 12
• Participate actively in the organization and the community. The more you talk to people, the more you interact with some of your audiences, the more you learn about the company,
its culture, and its context, the easier it will be to write—and the better your writing will be.
• Practice writing regularly and in moderation. • Learn as many strategies as you can. Good writers have a “bag of tricks” to draw on;
they don’t have to “reinvent the wheel” in each new situation. This book suggests many
strategies and patterns. Try them; memorize them; make them your own.
• Talk positively to yourself: “I can do this.” “If I keep working, ideas will come.” “It doesn’t have to be wonderful; I can always make it better later.”
• Talk about writing to other people. Value the feedback you get from your boss. Talk to your boss about writing. Ask him or her to share particularly good examples—
from anyone in the organization. Find colleagues at your own level and talk about the
writing you do. Do different bosses value different qualities? What aspects of your own
boss’s preferences are individual and which are part of the discourse community of the
organization? Talking to other people expands your repertoire of strategies and helps
you understand the discourse community in which you write.
To avoid procrastination, modify your behavior by rewarding yourself for activities that
lead to writing:
• Set a regular time to write. Sit down and stay there for the time you’ve planned, even if you write nothing usable.
• Develop a ritual for writing. Choose tools—paper, pen, computer, chair— that you find comfortable. Use the same tools in the same place every time you write.
• Try freewriting. Write for 10 minutes without stopping. • Write down the thoughts and fears you have as you write. If the ideas are negative,
try to substitute more positive statements: “I can do this.” “I’ll keep going and postpone
judging.” “If I keep working, I’ll produce something that’s OK.”
• Identify the problem that keeps you from writing. Deal with that problem; then turn back to writing.
• Set modest goals (a paragraph, not the whole document) and reward yourself for reaching them.
Proofreading is especially
important when reusing
language. For 2009, a mint
produced Chilean 50-pesos
coins, each worth about a U.S.
dime, with the name of the
country spelled “CHIIE.” Chile’s
Central Bank did not learn of
the engraver’s error until a year
later, when the newspaper El
Mercurio reported the story.
About 1.5 million of the errant
coins were in circulation by then.
Source: Eva Vergara, “Is It ‘Chiie’ or ‘Chile’? Mint Issues Bad Coins,”
The Boston Globe, February
12, 2010, http://www.boston.
com/news/world/latinamerica/
articles/2010/02/12/is_it_chiie_or_
chile_mint_issues_bad_coins/ .
Dealing with procrastination
can be challenging, but
Kevin Purdy recommends
several strategies. Among
them are getting rid of clutter,
acknowledging that you’re
actually procrastinating, and
dealing with the more difficult
tasks early. Believe in yourself,
too. Says Rory Vaden, author
of Take the Stairs: 7 Steps
to Achieving True Success,
“The number one reason
we procrastinate is we don’t
believe we have what it takes
to pull it off.”
Source: Kevin Purdy, “Get to Work by Meeting Procrastination
Head-On,” Fast Company, April 10,
2012, http://www.fastcompany.
com/1830018/get-work-
meetingprocrastination-head .
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 69loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 69 12/18/12 10:18 PM12/18/12 10:18 PM
Confirming pages
70 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Processes that help writers write well include expecting to revise
the first draft, writing regularly, modifying the initial task if it’s
too hard or too easy, having clear goals, knowing many different
strategies, using rules as guidelines rather than as absolutes, and
waiting to edit until after the draft is complete. (LO 4-1) • Spend a third of your time planning, a third writing, and a third
revising. (LO 4-2) • To think of ideas, try brainstorming, freewriting (writing with-
out stopping for 10 minutes or so), and clustering (brainstorm- ing with circled words on a page). (LO 4-3)
• Planning, writing, and revising can include analyzing, gather-
ing, writing, evaluating, getting feedback, revising, editing, and
proofreading. Revising means changing the document to make it better satisfy the writer’s purposes and the audience. Editing means making surface-level changes that make the document
grammatically correct. Proofreading means checking to be sure the document is free from typographical errors. (LO 4-4)
• If the writing situation is new or difficult, plan to revise the draft
at least three times. The first time, look for content and clar-
ity. The second time, check the organization and layout. Finally,
check style and tone. (LO 4-4) • Grammar checkers and spell-checkers only catch some errors.
Be sure to also check documents manually. (LO 4-5) • You can improve the quality of the feedback you get by tell-
ing people which aspects of a draft you’d like comments about.
If a reader criticizes something, fix the problem. If you think
the reader misunderstood you, try to figure out what caused the
misunderstanding and revise the draft so that the reader can see
what you meant. (LO 4-6) • If you get feedback you don’t understand, paraphrase, ask for
more information, or test your inference. (LO 4-6) • If you get feedback you don’t agree with, check against a
grammar book for grammar issues, consider something could
be improved if the comment is about content, show the reader
where any disputed facts came from, try another option if the
suggestion is about wording, or make information more clear if
readers are confused. (LO 4-6) • Boilerplate is language from a previous document that a
writer includes in a new document. Using form letters and
boilerplate can encourage writers to see as identical situa-
tions and audiences that in fact differ. Putting boilerplate into
a new document can create incompatible styles and tones.
(LO 4-7) • To overcome writer’s block, (LO 4-8) 1. Participate actively in the organization and the community.
2. Follow a regimen. Practice writing regularly and in moderation.
3. Learn as many strategies as you can.
4. Talk positively to yourself.
5. Talk about writing to other people.
• To overcome the tendency to procrastinate, modify your
behavior to reward yourself for the activities that lead to
writing. (LO 4-8)
Assignments for Module 4
4.1 What processes do expert writers use? (LO 4-1)
4.2 How is revision different from editing? From proofreading? (LO 4-4)
4.3 What are good strategies for overcoming writer’s block? Procrastination? (LO 4-8)
Questions for Comprehension
4.4 Which processes that expert writers use do you already use? How could you modify your process to incorporate at
least one more on the list? (LO 4-1)
4.5 Of the people who have seen your writing, which one(s) have given you the most useful feedback? What makes it
useful? (LO 4-6)
4.6 In which areas are you best at giving feedback to other people? How could you make your feedback even better?
(LO 4-6)
4.7 Think about the form letters you have received. How do they make you feel? If they have flaws, how could they be
improved? (LO 4-7)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Interview someone about the composing process(es) he or
she uses for on-the-job writing. Questions you could ask
include the following:
• What kind of planning do you do before you write? Do
you make lists? Formal or informal outlines?
• When you need more information, where do you
get it?
• How do you compose your drafts? Do you dictate? Draft
with pen and paper? Compose on screen? How do you
find uninterrupted time to compose?
• When you want advice about style, grammar, and spell-
ing, what source(s) do you consult?
• Does your superior ever read your drafts and make
suggestions?
Exercises and Problems
4.8 Interviewing Writers about Their Composing Processes (LO 4-1)
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 70loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 70 12/18/12 10:18 PM12/18/12 10:18 PM
Confirming pages
Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising 71
• Do you ever work with other writers to produce a single
document? Describe the process you use.
• Describe the process of creating a document where you
felt the final document reflected your best work.
• Describe the process of creating a document that you
found difficult or frustrating. What sorts of things make
writing easier or harder for you?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your results orally with a small group of students.
b. Present your results in an oral presentation to the class.
c. Present your results in a memo to your instructor.
d. Post an e-mail message to the class discussing your
results.
e. Share your results with a small group of students and
write a joint memo reporting the similarities and differ-
ences you found.
Save your notes and drafts from several assignments so that
you can answer the following questions.
• Which of the activities discussed in Module 4 do you
use?
• How much time do you spend on each activity?
• What kinds of revisions do you make most often?
• Do you use different processes for different documents, or
do you have one process that you use most of the time?
• Which practices of good writers do you follow?
• What parts of your process seem most successful? Are there
any places in the process that could be improved? How?
• What relation do you see between the process(es) you
use and the quality of the final document?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Discuss your process with a small group of other
students.
b. Write a memo to your instructor analyzing in detail your
process for composing one of the papers for this class.
c. Write a memo to your instructor analyzing your process
during the term. What parts of your process(es) have
stayed the same throughout the term? What parts have
changed?
4.9 Analyzing Your Own Writing Processes (LO 4-1)
Each of the following paragraphs contains errors in gram-
mar, spelling, and punctuation. Which errors does your
spelling or grammar checker catch? Which errors does it
miss? Does it flag as errors any words that are correct?
1. Answer to an Inquiry Think yoo fur your rescind request about are “Bitter
Burger” campaign. We initiated thee champagne after
hiring from customers who said they wonted a moor
nutritious berger from our companion. Sew, we towed
hour chiefs to devise something. And they. Did. To kelp
you enjoin your “Better Booger” even mare, here hour
to coupons for a free drank wit any purchase off a sand-
witch and frie.
2. Performance Appraisal This quarterly perform appraise is. Four lisa. She have
a good quart, witch ending with a 22 percent in crease
in here sales for the three month. In fax Lissa outper-
form aviary one in her compartment. Lisa is a good
employment, often straying late or working threw the
weekends. Her dedication is great? Won of her peers,
said “She is a la mode salesperson and a goon coat
working.”
3. Brochure Thin Lost Vegans is lonely a place to gambling! Thank
again? There is mooch to do do in Las Vega for families to,
such as them parks, magic shoes, and sporting. Events. Ewe
cane also experience fin dining and tours of the surrendering
desert with it’s bootyful florid and fawna. The warm colors
of the dessert well stay with your four many years two come.
Visited Las Vegetables for a vacate of a. Lifeboat. Time.
4. Presentation Slides
How to Crate a Web résumé
• Omit home addressee and phone numb
• Use other links only if the help a employer evaluate ewe.
A. be Professionally!
B. Carelessly craft and proof read the phrase on the
index pager.
Cow to Create a Scanable Resume
• Crate a “plane vanilla’ document.
• Use include a Keywords” section. Include personality
trades as will as accomplishments.
• Be specific aunt Quantifiable.
4.10 Checking Spell and Grammar Checkers (LO 4-5)
In a group with other students, use the Checklist for Thor-
ough Revision in Figure 4.4 to provide feedback on drafts
of letters or memos for this course.
As you give feedback, answer the following questions:
• When you give feedback, do you normally start by look-
ing for places to add, delete, substitute, or change? Or do
you normally start by looking for grammatical errors and
typos?
• On which aspects is it easiest for you to comment?
Which aspects require more thought? Why?
• How many times do you have to read the draft to answer
all of the questions in the Checklist?
• Do you tend to suggest mostly big changes, mostly small
ones, or a mix?
• How do you tend to word your comments? Are they
mostly positive or mostly negative? Do you tend to
4.11 Giving and Evaluating Feedback (LO 4-6)
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 71loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 71 12/18/12 10:18 PM12/18/12 10:18 PM
Confirming pages
72 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Most word-processing programs come with spell and grammar
checkers. While these computer tools can be useful, remember that
they have limitations.
Spellcheckers identify words that don’t match their dictionary.
If the word is a real word, the spellchecker can’t tell if it’s the right
word for the context (e.g., “their” versus “there,” as in “We will
review the report when we get their.”).
Grammar checkers only suggest possible errors and solutions;
you must make the final decision. That is, a grammar checker may
tell you that you’ve used passive voice, but the checker can’t tell
you whether the passive is appropriate in that particular sentence.
Therefore, use spell and grammar checkers as one of several
tools to make your writing better. In addition, keep a dictionary,
thesaurus, and stylebook handy. Work to improve your command
of spelling and grammar; take a class or work with a college writ-
ing center for help.
Exercises
Type the following into your word processor. Are all the words or
constructions that show up as errors really wrong? Are there any
errors that don’t show up?
1. There report notes fore markets wear increased prophets are
passable.
2. Even if ewe posses the rite skulls, lending the job you wont
cane be trickily.
3. Ill chick with the mangers to fine out if they’re employs fell
hoppy with there compensated.
4. Quit a phew organisms have a bored of directors that overseas
howl the organism operates.
5. Tree investors axed if wee mite consider celling are products
inline.
6. Sharon tolled us that thee purchase requests should bee
reviewed at lest too thymes before making then.
7. Mike twitted a massage abut the sails kickoff planed for the
fiftieth of Augusta.
8. Whale sum people thank a lack of compliants is the same
thing as doing will, a true sine of succession is grater market
shore.
9. Hour facts machine heartily gets used any moor, butt its steel
an imported peace of offense equipment.
10. Win Jenny decided too weight four confirmation from the pre-
diction staph, she maid a whys incision—ant saved this busy-
ness money!
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Using Spell and Grammar Checkers
Polishing Your Prose
describe your reaction as a reader, identify why a change
is needed, name the change needed, make the change for
the writer, or what?
When you read feedback from others, answer the following
questions:
• Which comments were new information to you? Which
told you something about your draft that you already
knew or suspected?
• Did you have any questions that comments did not address?
• What kinds of feedback were most helpful to you? Why?
• Were any comments unclear? Talk to the commenter, and try
to figure out what wording would have been clearer to you.
• Did any comments annoy or offend you? Why?
Could the commenter have made the same point in a
better way?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your answers with other students in your group.
Discuss ways that each of you can make your future
feedback even more useful.
b. Organize your answers in a memo to your instructor.
loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 72loc03261_ch04_059-072.indd 72 12/18/12 10:18 PM12/18/12 10:18 PM
Confirming pages
73
G ood document design saves time and money, reduces legal problems, and builds goodwill. A
well-designed document looks inviting, friendly, and easy to read. Effective design also groups
ideas visually, making the structure of the document more obvious so the document is easier to read.
Research shows that easy-to-read documents also enhance your credibility and build an image of you
as a professional, competent person. 1
Guidelines for creating effective paper documents are well supported with research and practice.
Much less research has been done on effective slides and screens. Moreover, as the population in
general becomes more experienced in seeing presentation slides and using the web, what works may
change. Pay attention to the documents, slides, and screens you see and to the responses they get
from other people in your organization so that you can keep up with evolving standards. In particular,
changes to social media like Facebook require users to stay current. Even if fonts and layouts change,
however, the principles of good design described in this module should still apply.
LO 5-1 Apply strategies for paper page design.
LO 5-2 Apply strategies for presentation slide design.
LO 5-3 Apply strategies for web page design.
LO 5-4 Apply strategies for design tests.
LO 5-5 Apply strategies for computer use in design.
LO 5-6 Recognize questions about design while writing.
Module 5 can help you design business documents successfully. After completing the module, you
should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 5
Module
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 73loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 73 19/12/12 5:06 PM19/12/12 5:06 PM
Confirming pages
74 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
How should I design paper pages? LO 5-1
▶ Follow these five guidelines.
Use the following guidelines to create visually attractive documents.
• Use white space to separate and emphasize points.
• Use headings to group points.
• Limit the use of words set in all capital letters.
• Use no more than two fonts in a single document.
• Decide whether to justify margins based on the situation and the audience.
Use White Space
White space —the empty space on the page—makes material easier to read by emphasiz- ing the material that it separates from the rest of the text. To create white space,
• Use headings.
• Use a mix of paragraph lengths (most no longer than seven typed lines).
• Use lists.
• Use tabs or indents—not spacing—to align items vertically.
• Use numbered lists when the number or sequence of items is exact.
• Use bullets (large dots or squares like those in this list) when the number and
sequence don’t matter.
When you use a list, make sure all of the items in it are parallel and fit into the structure
of the sentence that introduces the list.
Faulty: The following suggestions can help employers avoid bias in job interviews:
1. Base questions on the job description.
2. Questioning techniques.
3. Selection and training of interviewers.
Parallel: The following suggestions can help employers avoid bias in job interviews:
1. Base questions on the job description.
2. Ask the same questions of all applicants.
3. Select and train interviewers carefully.
Also parallel: Employers can avoid bias in job interviews by
1. Basing questions on the job description.
2. Asking the same questions of all applicants.
3. Selecting and training interviewers carefully.
Figure 5.1 shows an original typed document. In Figure 5.2 , the same document
is improved by using shorter paragraphs, lists, and headings. These devices take
space. When saving space is essential, it’s better to cut the text and keep white space
and headings.
Use Headings
Headings are words or short phrases that group points and divide your letter, memo, or report into sections.
• Make headings specific.
• Make each heading cover all the material until the next heading.
• Keep headings at any one level parallel: all nouns, all complete sentences, or all
questions.
In a letter or memo, type main headings even with the left-hand margin in bold.
Capitalize the first letters of the first word and of other major words; use lowercase
for all other letters. (See Figure 5.2 for an example.) In single-spaced text, triple-space
A study by the Pew Charitable
Trust found that checking
account documents are still
too confusing for consumers.
Because disclosures, for
instance, can be hard to read,
consumers may struggle to
understand fees. In addition to
design issues, such as too little
white space, length can be a
problem. The median length of
checking account disclosures
is 69 pages—down from 111
pages.
Source: Jim Puzzanghera, “Checking Accounts Still Too
Confusing and Expensive, Study
Finds,” The Los Angeles Times,
June 9, 2012, http://www.
latimes.com/business/la-fi-bank-
fees-20120609,0,4130869.story .
Menu design and language can
affect what a diner orders. Using
decoys, such as placing an
expensive dish at the top of the
menu to make other prices seem
more reasonable, removing dollar
signs from prices, and adding
sensory labels, like “buttery
plump” to otherwise ordinary
words like “pasta,” can all play on
the customer’s culinary desires.
Source: Sarah Kershaw, “Using Menu Psychology to Entice Diners,”
The New York Times, December
23, 2009, D1.
Site to See
Go to
www.informationmapping. com/us/the-method/ before-a-after-examples
Information Mapping uses
grids and tables to present
complex information in an
easy-to-use format.
Go to
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 74loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 74 19/12/12 5:06 PM19/12/12 5:06 PM
Confirming pages
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 75
between the previous text and the heading; double-space between the heading and the
text that follows.
Limit the Use of Words Set in All Capital Letters
We recognize words by their shapes. 2 (See Figure 5.3 .) In capitals, all words are rectangu-
lar; letters lose the descenders and ascenders that make reading go more quickly. Use full
capitals sparingly. Instead, make text bold to emphasize it.
Use No More than Two Fonts in a Single Document
Each font comes in several sizes and usually in several styles (bold, italic, etc.). Typewriter
fonts are fixed ; that is, every letter takes the same space. An i takes the same space as a w. Courier and Prestige Elite are fixed fonts. Computers usually offer proportional fonts as well, where wider letters take more space than narrower letters. Times Roman, Palatino,
Helvetica, Geneva, and Arial are proportional fonts.
Serif fonts have little extensions, called serifs, from the main strokes. (In Figure 5.4 , look at the feet on the t in Times Roman and the little flicks on the ends of the top bar of the t. ) Courier, Times Roman, Palatino, and Lucinda Calligraphy are serif fonts. Serif fonts are
Figure 5.1 A Document with Poor Visual Impact
Full capit al letters
make titl e hard
to read.
Importan t
informat ion
is hard to find.
Long para- graph
is visually
uninviting.
MONEY DEDUCTED FROM YOUR WAGES TO PAY CREDITORS
When you buy goods on credit, the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage Assignment form allowing it to deduct money from your wages if you do not pay your bill. When you buy on credit, you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount each week or month until you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is separate. It must contain the name of your present employer, your Social Security number, the amount of money loaned, the rate of interest, the date when payments are due, and your signature. The words “Wage Assignment” must be printed at the top of the form and also near the line for your signature. Even if you have signed a Wage Assignment agreement, Roysner will not withhold part of your wages unless all of the following conditions are met: 1. You have to be more than forty days late in payment of what you owe; 2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are in default and a copy of the Wage Assignment form; and 3. You and Roysner must receive a notice from the creditor at least twenty days in advance stating that the creditor plans to make a demand on your wages. This twenty-day notice gives you a chance to correct the problems yourself. If these conditions are all met, Roysner must withhold 15 percent of each paycheck until your bill is paid and give this money to your creditor.
If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue against it by filing a legal document called a “defense.” Once you file a defense, Roysner will not withhold any money from you. However, be sure you are right before you file a defense. If you are wrong, you have to pay not only what you owe but also all legal costs for both yourself and the creditor. If you are right, the creditor has to pay all these costs.
It pays to read the fine print.
While about 97% of a credit
card donation gets to charities,
the rest is kept by many banks
and credit card companies. The
Huffington Post notes they make
about $250 million annually from
such fees. Visa and American
Express later waived fees for
Haiti’s earthquake relief, but
one bank, Capital One, always
waives such charges through its
“No Hassle Giving Site.”
Source: Laura Bassett, “As
Wallets Open for Haiti, Credit
Card Companies Take Big Cut,”
January 14, 2010, http://news.
yahoo.com/s/huffpost/20100114/
cm_huffpost/423238 .
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 75loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 75 19/12/12 5:06 PM19/12/12 5:06 PM
Confirming pages
76 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
When you buy goods on credit, the store will sometimes ask you to sign a Wage Assignment form allowing it to deduct money from your wages if you do not pay your bill.
Have You Signed a Wage Assignment Form?
When you buy on credit, you sign a contract agreeing to pay a certain amount each week or month until you have paid all you owe. The Wage Assignment Form is separate. It must contain • The name of your present employer, • Your Social Security number, • The amount of money loaned, • The rate of interest, • The date when payments are due, and • Your signature.
The words “Wage Assignment“ must be printed at the top of the form and also near the line for your signature.
When Would Money Be Deducted from Your Wages to Pay a Creditor?
Even if you have signed a Wage Assignment agreement, Roysner will not withhold part of your wages unless all of the following conditions are met:
1. You have to be more than 40 days late in payment of what you owe;
2. Roysner has to receive a correct statement of the amount you are in default and a copy of the Wage Assignment form; and
3. You and Roysner must receive a notice from the creditor at least 20 days in advance stating that the creditor plans to make a demand on your wages. This 20-day notice gives you a chance to correct the problem yourself.
If these conditions are all met, Roysner must withhold fifteen percent (15%) of each paycheck until your bill is paid and give this money to your creditor.
What Should You Do If You Think the Wage Assignment Is Incorrect?
If you think you are not late or that you do not owe the amount stated, you can argue against it by filing a legal document called a “defense.“ Once you file a defense, Roysner will not withhold any money from you. However, be sure you are right before you file a defense. If you are wrong, you have to pay not only what you owe but also all legal costs for both yourself and the creditor. If you are right, the creditor has to pay all these costs.
Money Deducted from Your Wages to Pay Creditors
First letter
of each main word
capitalized—
Title split on to two lines
.
Headings di vide
document in to
chunks.
List with bullets wher
e order of
items doesn't matter.
Single-spac e
list when ite ms
are short.
Headings m ust be
parallel. Her e, all
are questio ns.
White space between
items emphasizes
them.
Double-spac e between
items in a lis t when
most items are two
lines or long er.
Number list where
number, order of
items matter.
Figure 5.2 A Document Revised to Improve Visual Impact
Full capitals hide the shape of a word and slow reading 19% .
FULL CAPITALS HIDE THE SHAPE OF A WORD AND SLOW READING 19% .
Figure 5.3 Full Capitals
Hide the Shape of a Word
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 76loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 76 19/12/12 5:06 PM19/12/12 5:06 PM
Confirming pages
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 77
easier to read because the serifs help the eyes move from letter to letter. Helvetica, Geneva,
and Arial are sans serif fonts because they lack serifs ( sans is French for without ). Sans serif fonts are good for titles, tables, and narrow columns.
Most business documents use just one font—usually Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica,
or Arial in 11- or 12-point. In a complex document, use bigger type for main headings and
slightly smaller type for subheadings and text. If you combine two fonts in one document,
choose one serif and one sans serif typeface.
Decide Whether to Justify Margins Based on the Situation and the Audience
Computers allow you to use full justification so that type on both sides of the page is evenly lined up. This paragraph justifies margins. Margins that are justified only on the
left are sometimes called ragged right margins . Lines end in different places because words are of different lengths. The FYI and Instant Replay boxes use ragged right
margins.
Use justified margins when you
• Can use proportional typefaces.
• Want a more formal look.
• Want to use as few pages as possible.
• Write to skilled readers. 3
Figure 5.4 Examples of
Different Fonts
The visual design of a message can support or undercut the impact of the words.
Non Sequitur © 1993 Wiley Miller. Reprinted by permission of Universal Uclick. All rights reserved.
More than 20 states have
adopted Clearview in signage
along many of America’s 46,871
miles of interstate highways.
Easier to read than Highway
Gothic, the typeface standard for
more than 50 years, Clearview
solves many problems, including
reducing halation, or type on
reflective surfaces blurring under
headlights at high speeds.
Clearview may also help the
highway system save billions of
dollars by eliminating the need
to enlarge existing signs and
related architecture.
Source: Joshua Yaffa, “The Road to Clarity,” The New York Times,
August 12, 2007, downloaded at
www.nytimes.com/2007/08/12/
magazine/12fonts-t.html?_r=1&n=Top/
Reference/Times%20Topics/
Subjects/D/Design&pagewanted=p
rint&oref=slogin .
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 77loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 77 19/12/12 5:06 PM19/12/12 5:06 PM
Confirming pages
78 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Use ragged right margins when you
• Do not have proportional typefaces.
• Want a less formal look.
• Want to be able to revise an individual page without reprinting the whole document.
• Use very short line lengths.
How should I design presentation slides? LO 5-2
▶ Keep slides simple, relevant, and interesting.
As you design slides for PowerPoint and other presentation programs, keep these guide-
lines in mind.
• Use a big font: 44- or 50-point for titles, 32-point for subheads, and 28-point for examples.
• Use bullet-point phrases rather than complete sentences.
• Use clear, concise language.
• Make only three to five points on each slide. If you have more, consider using two slides.
• Customize your slides with the company logo, charts, and scanned-in photos and
drawings.
Use clip art only if the art is really appropriate to your points and only if you are able
to find nonsexist and nonracist images. (At the end of the 1990s, as Marilyn Dyrud has
shown, the clip art in major software programs was biased. 4 ) Today, Internet sources offer
many more choices.
Choose a consistent template, or background design, for the entire presentation. Make
sure the template is appropriate for your subject matter. For example, use a globe only if
your topic is international business and palm trees only if you’re talking about tropical
vacations. One problem with PowerPoint is that the basic templates may seem repetitive to
people who see lots of presentations made with the program. For a very important presen-
tation, you may want to consider customizing the basic template.
Choose a light background if the lights will be off during the presentation and a dark
background if the lights will be on. Slides will be easier to read if you use high contrast
between the words and background. See Figure 5.5 for examples of effective and ineffec-
tive color combinations. Multi-touch screens, which
let people use finger gestures
to access features from their
smartphone and tablet PC
displays, may soon be common
in their larger cousins. Microsoft’s
purchase of Perceptive Pixel,
which is a pioneer in the
technology for desktop PCs,
coincides with enhancements
planned for Windows 8 for use
with multi-touch screens. The
change in how users interface
with computers may significantly
affect how users plan and use
presentation software, such as
PowerPoint.
Source: Clint Boulton, “Microsoft Bringing Multi-Touch Screens to the
Big Time,” The Wall Street Journal,
July 11, 2012, http://blogs.wsj.
com/cio/2012/07/11/microsoft-
bringing-multi-touch-screens-to-
the-big-time/?KEYWORDS=power
point+presentation .
Figure 5.5 Effective and Ineffective Colors for Presentation Slides
Effective
Ineffective
Site to See
Go to
http://pptideas.blogspot. com/2012/04/presentation- tipcase-studysuccess.html
for Dave Paradi’s tips and links
on using PowerPoint slides in
presentations.
Site to See
Go to
www.mouseprint.org
for examples of mouseprint, or
legalese in a font so small that
only a mouse can read it.
Go to
Go to
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 78loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 78 19/12/12 5:07 PM19/12/12 5:07 PM
Confirming pages
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 79
How should I design Web pages? LO 5-3
▶ Pay attention to content, navigation, and the first screen.
Good web pages have both good content and an interesting design. You should be able to
evaluate the design of a web page even if you never create one from scratch.
The opening screen is crucial. Not only must the first screen open quickly, but it also
must contain the information visitors need to quickly find what they are looking for. While
some studies show that users grow impatient after waiting 15 seconds for a page to load,
research by Jakob Nielsen puts that number at 10 seconds, and he says users often leave
web pages within 10 to 20 seconds, staying on average less than a minute. In addition,
users tend not to scroll down beyond the first screen of text. 5 To keep visitors around long
enough to find (and buy) what they want, make using the first screen extremely easy.
• Provide an introductory statement orienting the surfing reader to the organization.
• Offer an overview of the content of your page, with links to take readers to the parts that
interest them. A site index and internal search engine are valuable tools.
• Include information that will be most interesting and useful to most readers.
The rest of the page can contain information that only a limited number of readers will
want. When a document reaches four pages or more, think about dividing it into several
documents. Specialized information can go on another page, which readers can click on if
they want it.
Make it clear what readers will get if they click on a link.
Ineffective phrasing: Employment. Openings and skills levels are determined by each office.
Better phrasing: Employment. Openings listed by skills level and by location.
Minimize the number of links readers have to click through to get to the information
they want.
As you design pages,
• Use small graphics; keep animation to a minimum. Both graphics and animation take
time to load, especially with a slow modem. Include a Skip Intro button if you have an
animated introduction page.
• Provide visual variety. Use indentations, bulleted or numbered lists, and headings.
• Unify multiple pages with a small banner, graphic, or label so surfers know who
sponsors each page.
• On each page, provide a link to the home page, the name and e-mail address of the
person who maintains the page, and the date when the page was last revised.
• If your web pages include music or sound effects, put an Off button where the user can
find it immediately.
How do I know whether my design works? LO 5-4
▶ Test it.
A design that looks pretty may or may not work for the audience. To know whether your
design is functional, test it with your audience.
• Watch someone as he or she uses the document to do a task. Where does the reader
pause, reread, or seem confused? How long does it take? Does the document enable the
reader to complete the task accurately?
• Ask the reader to “think aloud” while completing the task, interrupt the reader at key
points to ask what he or she is thinking, or ask the reader to describe the thought process
after completing the document and the task. Learning the reader’s thought processes is
Instant Replay
Guidelines for Page
Design
• Use white space to separate
and emphasize points.
• Use headings to group points.
• Limit the use of words set in
all capital letters.
• Use no more than two fonts
in a single document.
• Decide whether to justify
margins based on the
situation and the audience.
I R
Guidelines f
People in the United States
focus first on the left side of a
website. websites in Arabic
and Hebrew orient text, links,
and graphics from right to left.
Source: Albert N. Badre, “The Effects of Cross Cultural Interface
Design Orientation on World Wide
Web User Performance,” GVU
Technical Report GIT-GVU-01-03,
August 31, 2000, 8; www.
cc.gatech.edu/gvu/reports/2001 ,
visited site July 27, 2002.
Site to See
Go to
www.useit.com
Jakob Nielsen’s website on
web page design is one of the
most useful pages on the web.
Nielsen provides classic past
columns (such as the Top Ten
Mistakes of Web Design) as
well as current content.
Go to
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 79loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 79 19/12/12 5:07 PM19/12/12 5:07 PM
Confirming pages
80
Using Computers to Create Good Design LO 5-5
Building a Critical Skill
Standard word-processing programs such as Word, WordPer-
fect, and Google Docs let you control how your page looks.
Different versions of each program handle these commands dif-
ferently. Look up the following bolded terms in a manual, a
book about the program, or the online Help menu of your com-
puter program to find out how to use each feature.
Letters and Memos
Choose a businesslike font in 11- or 12-point type. Times
Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, and Arial are the most commonly
used business fonts.
Use bold headings. Avoid having a heading all by itself at the bottom of the page. If you can’t have at least one line of text
under it, move the heading to the next page. You can check this
by eye or set your program to avoid widows and orphans. Use tabs or indents to line up the return address and signa-
ture blocks in modified block format (▶▶ Module 9), the To/ From/Subject line section of a memo, or the items in a list.
Change your tab settings to create good visual impact. A setting at .6″ works well for the To/From/Subject line section of memos. Use .4″ for paragraphs and .6″ for the start of bulleted lists. For lists with 10 or more items, the setting will need to be
a bit further to the right—about .65″. Choose the design for bullets under Insert or Format. Both
WordPerfect and Word will create bulleted or numbered lists
automatically. If you have lists with paragraphs, turn off the
automatic bullets and create them with the bullets in Symbols.
Use indent (not tab) to move the whole list in, not just a single line of it.
Use a header (in the Insert or View menu) with automatic page numbering (pull down Format to Page) for second and subsequent pages. That way, when you delete a paragraph or
expand your reader benefits, you don’t have to manually move
the header. You can either delay the header till page 2 or create it on page 2. For best visual impact, make your header one point
size smaller than the body type.
For a two-page document, change the top margin of the sec- ond page to .5" so the header is close to the top of the page.
Use the same side margins as your letterhead. If you aren’t
using a letterhead, use 1″ side margins. On a two-page document, make sure the second page has at
least 4 to 6 lines of text for letters and at least 10 lines of text
for memos. If you have less, either (1) add details, (2) start the
message further down on page one so that there is more text on
page two, or (3) make the text fit on just one page by (a) tight-
ening your prose, (b) using full justification to save space, or (c)
using less white space.
Word-processing programs have a quickcorrect or auto- correct feature that changes hte to the, (c) to ©, and so forth. Go into the Tools or Format menus to find these features and
edit them so they make only the changes you want.
Hyphenation may be under Format or under Language in Tools.
Printing
To save paper, check print preview on the File menu. You’ll be able to see how your document will look on the page and make
minor layout changes before you print.
If you prepare your document on one computer and print
it from another, be sure to open the document and check all
of it before you print. Different printers may change mar-
gins slightly. Even the same size font may differ from printer
to printer, so that a document that fit nicely on one page in
11-point on one computer may suddenly take up more room on
a different one.
important, since a reader may get the right answer for the wrong reasons. In such a case,
the design still needs work.
• Test the document with the people who are most likely to have trouble with it: very old or
young readers, people with little education, people who read English as a second language.
• Ask readers to put a plus sign ( 1 ) in the margins by any part of the document they like
or agree with and a minus sign ( 2 ) by any part that seems confusing or wrong. Then use
interviews or focus groups to find out the reasons.
When should I think about design? LO 5-6
▶ At each stage of the writing process.
Document design isn’t something to “tack on” when you’ve finished writing. Indeed, the
best documents are created when you think about design at each stage of your writing
process(es).
Instant Replay
Designing PowerPoint
Slides
• Use a big font.
• Use bullet-point phrases.
• Use clear, concise language.
• Make only three to five
points on each slide.
• Customize your slides.
I R
Designing P
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 80loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 80 19/12/12 5:07 PM19/12/12 5:07 PM
Confirming pages
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 81
• As you plan, think about your audiences. Are they skilled readers? Are they busy? Will
they read the document straight through or skip around in it?
• As you write, incorporate lists and headings. Use visuals to convey numerical data
clearly and forcefully.
• Get feedback from people who will be using your document. What parts of the
document do they think are hard to understand? Is there additional information
they need?
• As you revise, check your draft against the guidelines in this module.
Site to See
Go to
www.webpagesthatsuck .com for examples of poorly
designed web pages.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• To create visually attractive documents, (LO 5-1) • Use white space.
• Use headings.
• Limit the use of words set in all capital letters.
• Limit the number of fonts in a single document.
• Decide whether to justify margins based on the situation and
the audience.
• As you design slides for PowerPoint and other presentation pro-
grams, (LO 5-2) • Use a big font.
• Use bullet-point phrases.
• Use clear, concise language.
• Make only three to five points on each slide.
• Customize your slides.
• Good web pages have both good content and an interesting
design. (LO 5-3) • Orient the surfing reader to the organization.
• Offer an overview of the content of your page, with links to
take readers to the parts that interest them.
• Make it clear what readers will get if they click on a link.
• Keep graphics small.
• Provide visual variety.
• Unify multiple pages with a small banner, graphic, or label.
• On each page, provide a link to the home page, the name and
e-mail address of the person who maintains the page, and
the date when the page was last revised.
• Provide a Skip Intro button for animated introductions and
an Off button for sound.
• To test a document, observe readers, ask them to “think aloud”
while completing the task, interrupt them at key points to ask
what they are thinking, or ask them to describe their thought
process after completing the document and the task. (LO 5-4) • WordPerfect and Word let you control how your page looks. In
general, (LO 5-5) • Use the program manual or help function to see commands
to use.
• Choose a businesslike font in 11- or 12-point type.
• Use Times Roman, Palatino, Helvetica, or Ariel.
• Use print preview to see what a page will look like printed.
• The best documents are created when you think about design at
each stage of the writing process. (LO 5-6) • As you plan, think about the needs of your audience.
• As you write, incorporate lists, headings, and visuals.
• Get feedback from people who will be using your document.
• As you revise, check your draft against the guidelines in this
chapter.
Assignments for Module 5
5.1 How can you create white space? (LO 5-1)
5.2 How do you decide whether to use bullets or numbers in a list? (LO 5-1)
5.3 What are three criteria for good web pages? (LO 5-3)
Questions for Comprehension
5.4 “Closed captions” for people with hearing impairments are almost always typed in full capital letters. Why is that a
bad idea? Are there any advantages to using full capitals?
What arguments could you use for changing the practice?
(LO 5-1)
5.5 Suppose that, in one company, a worker says, “We don’t need to worry about design. People pay a toll charge to
call us, and we make a slight profit on each call. So if
they have questions about the product, that’s OK. If better
design reduced the number of calls, we might actually lose
Questions for Critical Thinking
Go to
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 81loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 81 19/12/12 5:08 PM19/12/12 5:08 PM
Confirming pages
82 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
money!” How would you persuade such a person that good
document design is worth doing? (LO 5-1)
5.6 Central Community College is preparing a brochure to per- suade prospective students to consider taking classes. The
college doesn’t have the money for full-scale document
testing. What free or almost-free things could it do to make
the document as effective as possible? (LO 5-1)
5.7 Design choices may have ethical implications. Indicate whether you consider each of the following actions ethical,
unethical, or a gray area. Which of the actions would you
do? Which would you feel uncomfortable doing? Which
would you refuse to do? (LO 5-1)
a. Putting the advantages of a proposal in a bulleted list,
while discussing the disadvantages in a paragraph.
b. Using a bigger type size so that a résumé visually fills a
whole page.
c. Putting the services that are not covered by your health
plan in full caps to make it less likely that people will
read the page.
5.8 Evaluating Page Designs (LO 5-1)
Use the guidelines in Module 5 to evaluate each of the fol-
lowing page designs. What are their strong points? What
could be improved?
Exercises and Problems
a.
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 82loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 82 19/12/12 5:08 PM19/12/12 5:08 PM
Confirming pages
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 83
b.
You’ve just joined the Financial Aid office at your school.
The director gives you the accompanying form and asks
you to redesign it.
“We need this form to see whether parents have other
students in college besides the one requesting aid. Parents
are supposed to list all family members that the parents
support—themselves, the person here, any other kids in
college, and any younger dependent kids.
“Half of these forms are filled out incorrectly. Most people
just list the student going here; they leave out everyone else.
“If something is missing, the computer sends out a letter
and a second copy of this form. The whole process starts
over. Sometimes we send this form back two or three times
before it’s right. In the meantime, students’ financial aid
is delayed—maybe for months. Sometimes things are so
late that they can’t register for classes, or they have to pay
tuition themselves and get reimbursed later.
“If so many people are filling out the form wrong, the
form itself must be the problem. See what you can do with
it. But keep it to a page.”
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Analyze the current form and identify its problems.
b. Revise the form. Add necessary information; reorder
information; change the chart to make it easier to fill out.
Hints:
• Where are people supposed to send the form? What is
the phone number of the financial aid office? Should they
need to call the office if the form is clear?
• Does the definition of half-time apply to all students or just those taking courses beyond high school?
• Should capital or lowercase letters be used?
• Are the lines big enough to write in?
• What headings or subdivisions within the form would remind
people to list all family members whom they support?
• How can you encourage people to return the form promptly?
5.9 Improving a Financial Aid Form (LO 5-1)
Please complete the chart below by listing all family members for whom you (the parents) will provide more than half support during the academic year (July 1 through June 30). Include yourselves (the parents), the student, and your dependent children, even if they are not attending college.
*Half-time is defined as 6 credit hours or 12 clock hours a term.
When the information requested is received by our office, processing of your financial aid application will resume. Please sign and mail this form to the above address as soon as possible. Your signature certifies that this information and the
information on the FAF is true and complete to the best of your knowledge. If you have any questions, please contact a member of the need analysis staff. ______________________________ _________________
Signature of Parent(s) Date
EDUCATIONAL INFORMATION, 200_ - 200_
RELATIONSHIP NAME OF FULL NAME OF FAMILY SCHOOL OR OF FAMILY MEMBER TO COLLEGE THIS HALF-TIME* LESS THAN MEMBER AGE STUDENT SCHOOL YEAR FULL-TIME OR MORE HALF-TIME
STUDENT APPLICANT
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 83loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 83 19/12/12 5:08 PM19/12/12 5:08 PM
Rev.confirming pages
84 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
Rewrite the message, paying special attention to layout and
page design.
Reorganize the items in each of the following lists, using
appropriate headings. Use bulleted or numbered lists as
appropriate.
a. Rules and Procedures for a Tuition Reimbursement Plan
1. You are eligible to be reimbursed if you have been a
full-time employee for at least three months.
2. You must apply before the first class meeting.
3. You must earn a “C” or better in the course.
4. You must submit a copy of the approved application, an official grade report, and a receipt for tuition paid
to be reimbursed.
5. You can be reimbursed for courses related to your current position or another position in the company,
or for courses that are part of a degree related to a
current or possible job.
6. Your supervisor must sign the application form.
7. Courses may be at any appropriate level (high
school, college, or graduate school).
b. Activities in Starting a New Business
• Getting a loan or venture capital
• Getting any necessary city or state licenses
• Determining what you will make, do, or sell
• Identifying the market for your products or services
• Pricing your products or services
• Choosing a location
• Checking zoning laws that may affect the location
• Identifying government and university programs for
small business development
• Figuring cash flow
• Ordering equipment and supplies
• Selling
• Advertising and marketing
5.10 Using Headings (LO 5-1)
Collect several documents available to you as a worker, stu-
dent, or consumer: letters and memos, newsletters, ads and
flyers, reports. Use the guidelines in Module 5 to evaluate
each of them.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Discuss the documents with a small group of classmates.
b. Write a memo to your instructor evaluating three or
more of the documents. Include originals or photocopies
of the documents you discuss as an appendix to your
memo.
c. Write a memo to your supervisor recommending ways
the organization can improve its documents.
d. In an oral presentation to the class, explain what makes
one document good and another one weak. If possible,
use transparencies so that classmates can see the docu-
ments as you evaluate them.
5.11 Analyzing Documents (LO 5-1)
Your state government hires interns for many of its offices.
The Director of Human Resources has noticed that few of
the interns submit all the needed paperwork on time and
suspects that the problem is the form memo that goes out
to interns. You’ve been asked to revise the memo to make
it more effective.
5.12 Revising a Document (LO 5-1)
Subject: Getting Your First Paycheck on Time
So that you can receive your first paycheck on time, please send the following items to the office of Human
Resources by the first working day of next month: a copy of your Social Security card or a copy of your
birth certificate; a copy of your driver’s license; proof of enrollment in an accredited college (accepted items
include a paid fee statement; a letter from the registrar’s office; a copy of your college identification card with
the term and year on it); and proof of your grade status (e.g., first year, sophomore). Attach one of the fol-
lowing: your latest grade report, your latest transcript; a letter from the registrar’s office verifying your grade
status; a copy of your college identification card that shows what level you are in. Pay is based on how
many quarter or semester hours you have completed. At the end of each term, notify Human Resources.
You may be eligible for a pay increase.
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 84loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 84 25/01/13 9:17 PM25/01/13 9:17 PM
Confirming pages
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 85
Evaluate the following drafts of PowerPoint slides.
• Is the background appropriate for the topic?
• Do the slides use words or phrases rather than complete
sentences?
• Is the font big enough to read from a distance?
• Is the art relevant and appropriate?
• Is each slide free from errors?
5.13 Evaluating PowerPoint Slides (LO 5-2)
a.
1 2
3 4
b.
1 2
3 4
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 85loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 85 19/12/12 5:08 PM19/12/12 5:08 PM
Confirming pages
86 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
c.
1 2
3 4
Compare three web pages in the same category (for exam-
ple, nonprofit organizations, car companies, university
departments, sports information). Which page(s) are most
effective? Why? What weaknesses do the pages have?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Discuss the pages with a small group of classmates.
b. Write a memo to your instructor evaluating the pages.
Include URLs of the pages in your memo.
c. In an oral presentation to the class, explain what makes
one page good and another one weak. If possible, put
the pages on screen so that classmates can see the pages
as you evaluate them.
d. Post your evaluation of the pages in an e-mail message
to the class. Include hot links to the pages you evaluate.
5.14 Evaluating Web Pages (LO 5-3)
Verbs have “voice”: active and passive voice. Business communica-
tion generally prefers active voice because it is shorter and clearer.
A verb is active if the grammatical subject acts. Passive voice
occurs when the subject is acted upon by someone or something else.
Active: The man bought grapes at the store. Passive: The grapes were bought by the man at the store.
In the active voice, the subject— the man —is doing the action— bought. In the passive version, the grapes is the subject, yet it is the man, not the grapes, that is actually doing the action. It is harder for the reader to follow who or what did the action. In addition, it
takes more words to convey the same idea.
To change a passive voice construction into the active voice,
start by identifying who or what is doing the action. If no agent
(“by _____ ”) is present in the sentence, you will need to supply it.
A passive verb is usually accompanied by a helping verb, such as
is, are, or were. Rewrite the sentence by putting the actor in the role of subject and dropping the helping verb:
Passive: The plan was approved by our clients. Active: Our clients approved the plan. Passive: PowerPoint slides have been created. Active: Susan created the PowerPoint slides. Passive: It is desired that you back up your work daily. Active: Back up your work daily.
Active and Passive Voice
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 86loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 86 19/12/12 5:08 PM19/12/12 5:08 PM
Confirming pages
Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens 87
In business communication, active voice is usually better. How-
ever, passive voice is better in three situations:
1. Use passive voice to emphasize the object receiving the
action, not the agent.
Your order was shipped November 15.
The customer’s order, not the shipping clerk, is important.
2. Use passive voice to provide coherence within a paragraph.
A sentence is easier to read if “old” information comes at the
beginning of a sentence. When you have been discussing a
topic, use the word again as your subject even if that requires
a passive verb.
The bank made several risky loans in the late 1990s. These
loans were written off as “uncollectible” in 2002.
Using loans as the subject of the second sentence provides a link between the two sentences, making the paragraph as a
whole easier to read.
3. Use passive voice to avoid assigning blame.
The order was damaged during shipment.
An active verb would require the writer to specify who damaged the order. The passive here is more tactful.
Exercises
Identify whether the passives in the following sentences are accept-
able or whether the verb should be changed to active.
1. A mistake cost company several thousand dollars.
2. Two dozen résumés were reviewed by the hiring committee.
3. Rules for using the company posted on the door.
4. The final report was written Jessica Malone and Dylan Toshi.
5. It is recommended that employees keep all personal items
locked drawers to discourage theft.
6. Files are kept on the third floor the Accounting Department.
7. A second set of tablet PCs was purchased by the IT Depart-
ment backup.
8. The campaign is predicted by be a great success in Asia.
9. Apps were created for our customers to access their accounts
with a smartphone.
10. Emily, Candice, and Ruben nominated by the awards commit-
tee for Employee of the Month.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Unit 1 Cases for Communicators Old Navy Taken to School
Proofreading—checking for and correcting typographical errors—
is the final step in the writing process. While always an integral
part of writing, it is of particular importance if the finished prod-
uct will be mass produced. Beyond checking a message for errors,
however, writers also must make sure it gets sent to its intended
audience.
Take the case of clothing retailer Old Navy, which won a lucra-
tive deal to produce T-shirts for 70 colleges and universities, such
as Duke, Syracuse, Notre Dame, the University of Texas, and the
University of Southern California. The shirts feature each insti-
tution’s name and mascot, along with the phrase “Let’s go!” The
problem is that the required apostrophe was left out. Hundreds of
thousands of shirts with the error were shipped out before anyone
caught the mistake.
Old Navy executives want to reprint the T-shirts with the
correction, but at least one institution, Syracuse, wants to
know who approved the copy before it was printed. Some
college officials and alumni are embarrassed that their insti-
tution of higher learning is now associated with the mistake.
In addition, the error has gone viral, resulting in tweets such
as “Pains my English major heart” and “Why graphic design-
ers need proofreaders,” as well as other negative publicity for
the company.
The cost to reprint the T-shirts alone will be in the thousands
of dollars, but the company also stands to lose future customers
from the mistake. The reprinted shirts may also make it to stores
too late for the current sports season, defeating the purpose of the
campaign in the first place.
Individual Activity
Choose one of the following:
a. Imagine you are the communications manager at Old Navy.
Your task is to write an apology letter to the college or uni-
versity affected by the error. (You may choose which college
or university.) Because the letter is an important part of your
company’s effort to restore customer confidence by mending
relationships, the vice president of communications will be
reviewing the message before it is sent.
In addition to accepting full responsibility for the error, your
company will take actions to underscore its commitment to good
customer service:
1. Developing a strategy to improve editing and reduce the
potential for errors.
2. Explaining how your company will settle this matter. (The
company has agreed to pay for the offers to affected parties
outlined in b.)
b. Imagine you are the marketing manager for the college or uni-
versity. It is your task to write a letter of apology to the institu-
tion’s Board of Trustees, whose members may be embarrassed
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 87loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 87 19/12/12 5:08 PM19/12/12 5:08 PM
Confirming pages
88 Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
by the publicity about the error. Because the letter will be such
an important part of the company’s effort to restore customer
confidence, the institution’s president will review the message
before it is sent.
Old Navy has ordered the shipments of shirts with the error
returned, but there is the possibility that some shirts have already
sold or that retailers will keep them in hopes that they become col-
lector’s items. To reduce the possibility of continued embarrass-
ment over the error as well as to demonstrate a commitment to
good customer service, the company will:
1. Offer a 20% discount on a future wholesale order for a shipment
returned in its entirety.
2. Offer a $2 credit on future merchandise orders for each shirt that is
returned in the event some shirts have already sold or are missing.
Before you write either letter, you will need to carefully analyze
this communication problem. Use PAIBOC to make sure that you
understand the purpose, audience, and situation.
P: What is the purpose of this letter? (Remember, there may be more than one!)
A: Who are the initial, primary, gatekeeper, secondary, and watchdog audiences for my letter?
I: What information should my letter include? B: What benefits for the reader can I highlight? O: What objections should I expect? C: How will the context affect reader response?
Write your thoughts down so you can refer to them later. Be
thorough in your answers.
Group Activity
As the communications manager at Old Navy, you have been given
the task of developing a “Best Practices” program to establish good
revising, editing, and proofreading habits among employees. After
you have created the plan, you will submit it to the owners of the
company, who will review it before instituting it.
With your fellow managers, develop an outline of this new
program. In the plan, explain why revising, editing, and proof-
reading are important; what the best practices are; and how
employees can effectively implement these best practices in their
own work.
Consider the following questions:
• What critical communication elements need to be applied?
• How can employees learn to provide quality feedback?
• How important is quality feedback in the writing process?
• What is cycling?
• What specific steps are involved in editing and proofreading a
document?
• What is thorough revision? What is light revision?
• How will readers benefit from your improved strategy?
Include any other tips that you, as experts, can offer to your
audience.
Sources: Piper Weiss, “Grammar Fail on Old Navy’s College T-Shirts. Uh Oh . . . ,” August 23, 2011, http://shine.yahoo.com/event/fallfashion/
grammar-fail-on-old-navys-college-tshirts-uh-oh-2531551/ ; and Andrea
Chang, “Old Navy Reprinting Erroneous School T-Shirts,” The Los Angeles Times, August 25, 2011, http://articles.latimes.com/2011/aug/25/ business/la-fiold-navy-20110825 .
loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 88loc03261_ch05_073-088.indd 88 19/12/12 5:08 PM19/12/12 5:08 PM
Confirming pages
2 Creating Goodwill
Module 8 Reader Benefits Module 7 Positive Emphasis Module 6 You-Attitude
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 89loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 89 12/17/12 7:42 PM12/17/12 7:42 PM
Confirming pages
90
You-Attitude
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Y ou-attitude is a style of writing that
• Looks at things from the reader’s point of view.
• Respects the reader’s intelligence.
• Protects the reader’s ego.
• Emphasizes what the reader wants to know.
You-attitude is a concrete way to show empathy (◀◀ p. 24) and the foundation of persuasion.
You-attitude is a matter of style. That is, revisions for you-attitude do not change the basic mean-
ing of the sentence. However, revising for you-attitude often makes sentences longer since sentences
become more specific.
Often, we can create you-attitude by changing words. Sometimes, however, it’s necessary to revise
organization and content as well as style to create the best document.
LO 6-1 Apply strategies for you-attitude use.
LO 6-2 Compare and contrast situations for you use.
LO 6-3 Apply strategies for goodwill creation with you-attitude.
LO 6-4 Apply strategies for point-of-view adaptation.
Module 6 focuses on the importance of you-attitude in business communication. After completing the
module, you should be able to
Module
6
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 90loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 90 12/17/12 7:42 PM12/17/12 7:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 6 You-Attitude 91
How do I create you-attitude in my sentences?
▶ Talk about the reader—except in negative situations.
To create you-attitude,
1. Talk about the reader, not about yourself.
2. Refer to the reader’s request or order specifically.
3. Don’t talk about feelings, except to congratulate or offer sympathy.
4. In positive situations, use you more often than I. Use we when it includes the reader. 5. Avoid you in negative situations.
1. Talk about the Reader, Not about Yourself
Readers want to know how they benefit or are affected. When you provide this informa-
tion, you make your message more complete and more interesting.
Lacks you-attitude: I have negotiated an agreement with Apex Rent-a-Car that gives you a dis- count on rental cars.
You-attitude: As a Sunstrand employee, you can now get a 20% discount when you rent a car from Apex.
Any sentence that focuses on the writer’s work or generosity lacks you-attitude, even
if the sentence contains the word you. Instead of focusing on what we are giving the reader, focus on what the reader can now do. To do that, you may need to change the
grammatical subject.
Lacks you-attitude: We are shipping your order of September 21 this afternoon. You-attitude: The two dozen CorningWare starter sets you ordered will be shipped this
afternoon and should reach you by September 28.
Emphasize what the reader wants to know. The reader is less interested in when we
shipped the order than in when it will arrive. Note that the phrase “should reach you by”
leaves room for variations in delivery schedules. If you can’t be exact, give your reader
the information you do have: “UPS shipment from California to Texas normally takes
three days.” If you have absolutely no idea, give the reader the name of the carrier, so the
reader knows whom to contact if the order doesn’t arrive promptly.
LO 6-1
In 2008, drugstore giant
Walgreen announced plans
to open pharmacies and
operate health centers at
work sites throughout the
U.S., bringing services to
busy customers rather than
the other way around. The
company purchased I-trax,
Inc., and Whole Health
Management, two companies
that collectively ran 350 health
centers at corporate offices.
The company further identified
more than 7,600 office sites
with 1,000 or more employees
that could support similar
centers. The result is Take
Care Clinics, part of a wholly
owned subsidiary of Walgreen.
Looking at things from the
customer’s point of view is
helping Walgreen and other
companies transform health
services.
Source: Amy Merrick, “How Walgreen Changed Its Prescription
for Growth,” The Wall Street
Journal, March 19, 2008, B1;
and Take Care Clinic at Select
Walgreens website (“About Us”),
downloaded on February 12, 2010,
at http://www.takecarehealth.com/
about/?tab=tc_about_us .
Me-attitude can make you seem pompous and self-serving.
MARVIN © 1999 NAS. North America Syndicate. Reprinted by permission.
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 91loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 91 12/17/12 7:42 PM12/17/12 7:42 PM
Confirming pages
92 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
2. Refer to the Reader’s Request or Order Specifically
Refer to the reader’s request, order, or policy specifically, not as a generic your order or your policy. If your reader is an individual or a small business, it’s friendly to specify the content of the order. If you’re writing to a company with which you do a great deal of
business, give the invoice or purchase order number.
Lacks you-attitude: Your order . . . You-attitude (to individual): The desk chair you ordered You-attitude (to a large store): Your invoice #783329
3. Don’t Talk about Feelings, Except to Congratulate or Offer Sympathy
Lacks you-attitude: We are happy to extend you a credit line of $5,000. You-attitude: You can now charge up to $5,000 on your American Express card.
In most business situations, your feelings are irrelevant and should be omitted. The
reader doesn’t care whether you’re happy, bored stiff at granting a routine application,
or worried about granting so much to someone who barely qualifies. All the reader cares
about is the situation from his or her point of view.
It is appropriate to talk about your own emotions in a message of congratulation or condolence.
You-attitude: Congratulations on your promotion to district manager! I was really pleased to read about it.
You-attitude: I was sorry to hear that your father died.
In internal memos, it may be appropriate to comment that a project has been gratifying
or frustrating. In the letter of transmittal that accompanies a report, it is permissible to talk
about your feelings about doing the work. But even other readers in your own organization
are primarily interested in their own concerns, not in your feelings.
Don’t talk about the reader’s feelings, either. It can be offensive to have someone else
tell us how we feel—especially if the writer is wrong.
Lacks you-attitude: You’ll be happy to hear that Open Grip Walkway Channels meet OSHA requirements.
You-attitude: Open Grip Walkway Channels meet OSHA requirements.
Maybe the reader expects that anything you sell would meet government regulations
(OSHA—the Occupational Safety and Health Administration—is a federal agency). The
reader may even be disappointed if he or she expected higher standards. Simply explain the
situation or describe a product’s features; don’t predict the reader’s response.
When you have good news for the reader, simply give the good news.
Lacks you-attitude: You’ll be happy to hear that your scholarship has been renewed. You-attitude: Congratulations! Your scholarship has been renewed.
4. In Positive Situations, Use You More Often than I. Use We When It Includes the Reader
Talk about the reader, not you or your company.
Lacks you-attitude: We provide health insurance to all employees. You-attitude: You receive health insurance as a full-time Procter & Gamble employee.
Most readers are tolerant of the word I in e-mail messages, which seem like conver- sation. Edit paper documents to use I rarely if at all. I suggests that you’re concerned about personal issues, not about the organization’s problems, needs, and opportunities.
We works well when it includes the reader. Avoid we if it excludes the reader (as it would
Instant Replay
Definition of You-Attitude
You-attitude is a style of writing that
• Looks at things from the
reader’s point of view.
• Respects the reader’s
intelligence.
• Protects the reader’s ego.
• Emphasizes what the reader
wants to know.
I R
Definition of
The word company has
the same root as the word
companion: both come from
the Latin words for eating
bread together.
Site to See
Go to
www.quality.nist.gov
You-attitude, positive
emphasis, and bias-free
language build goodwill with
words, just as service, quality,
and reliability build goodwill
with actions. The Baldrige
National Quality Program
encourages and recognizes
quality in U.S. businesses.
Go to
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 92loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 92 12/17/12 7:42 PM12/17/12 7:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 6 You-Attitude 93
in a letter to a customer or supplier or as it might in a memo about what we in manage- ment want you to do).
5. Avoid You in Negative Situations
To avoid blaming the reader, use an impersonal expression or a passive verb. Talk about the
group to which the reader belongs so readers don’t feel they’re singled out for bad news.
Lacks you-attitude: You failed to sign your check. You-attitude (impersonal): Your check arrived without a signature. You-attitude (passive): Your check was not signed.
Impersonal constructions omit people and talk only about things. Passive verbs describe the action performed on something, without necessarily saying who did it.
(▶▶ See Module 16 for a full discussion of passive verbs.) In most cases, active verbs are better. But when your reader is at fault, passive verbs
may be useful to avoid assigning blame.
Normally, writing is most lively when it’s about people—and most interesting to read-
ers when it’s about them. When you have to report a mistake or bad news, however, you
can protect the reader’s ego by using an impersonal construction, one in which things, not
people, do the acting.
Lacks you-attitude: You made no allowance for inflation in your estimate. You-attitude (passive): No allowance for inflation has been made in this estimate. You-attitude (impersonal): This estimate makes no allowance for inflation.
Goodwill comes in many forms.
Whitlowe R. Green spent a
lifetime teaching students the
value of economics—and living
a frugal life that included buying
expired meat and secondhand
clothes. When he passed
away in 2002, the 88-year-old
willed $2.1 million to his alma
mater, Prairie View A & M
University, for scholarships, the
largest single-donor gift in the
institution’s history.
A University of California,
Berkeley, study suggests
couples who use inclusive
language, such as we and our
rather than I or me, are more
likely to have greater affection
and less physiological stress
during a disagreement.
Source: Rachel Rettner, “Couples Who Say ‘We’ Fare Better in
Fights,” LiveScience, February 3,
2010, http://www.livescience.com/
culture/couples-we-words-100203.
html .
A study sure to provoke strong
feelings found a link among
prejudices, low intelligence,
and social conservatism,
suggesting, among other
things, that anti-prejudice
campaigns that expect
participants to see things
from another person’s point
of view may be too difficult to
handle for people with low IQs.
As researchers suspected,
low intelligence in childhood
corresponded with racism
in adulthood. Still, they are
quick to point out that drawing
sweeping conclusions from
the study is unwise. Said lead
researcher Gordon Hodson:
“There are multiple examples
of very bright conservatives
and not-so-bright liberals,
and many examples of very
principled conservatives and
very intolerant liberals.”
Source: Stephanie Pappas, “Low
IQ & Conservative Beliefs Linked to
Prejudice,” Live Science, January
26, 2012, http://www.livescience
.com/18132-intelligence-social-
conservatism-racism.html .
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 93loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 93 12/17/12 7:42 PM12/17/12 7:42 PM
Confirming pages
94 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
A purist might say that impersonal constructions are illogical: An estimate, for example,
is inanimate and can’t “make” anything. In the pragmatic world of business writing, how-
ever, impersonal constructions often help you convey criticism tactfully.
When you restrict the reader’s freedom, talk about the group to which the reader belongs
rather than about the reader as an individual.
Lacks you-attitude: You must get approval from the director before you publish any articles or memoirs based on your work in the agency.
You-attitude: Agency personnel must get approval from the director to publish any articles or memoirs based on their work at the agency.
Does you-attitude basically mean using the word you?
▶ No.
All messages should use you-attitude, but the words to achieve it will change depending
on the situation.
• In a positive message, focus on what the reader can do. “We give you” lacks you-attitude
because the sentence focuses on what we are doing.
• Avoid you when it criticizes the reader or limits the reader’s freedom. • In a job application letter, create you-attitude by showing how you can help meet the
reader’s needs, but keep the word you to a minimum (▶▶ Module 28).
I’ve revised my sentences. Do I need to do anything else?
▶ Check content and organization, too.
▶ Emphasize what the reader wants to know.
Good messages apply you-attitude beyond the sentence level by using content and organi-
zation as well as style to build goodwill.
To create goodwill with content,
• Be complete. When you have lots of information to give, consider putting some details
in an appendix that may be read later.
• Anticipate and answer questions the reader is likely to have.
• When you include information the reader didn’t ask for, show why it is important.
• Show readers how the subject of your message affects them.
To organize information to build goodwill,
• Put information readers are most interested in first.
• Arrange information to meet your reader’s needs, not yours.
• Use headings and lists so that the reader can find key points quickly.
Consider the letter in Figure 6.1 . As the red marginal notes indicate, many individual
sentences in this letter lack you-attitude. The last sentence in paragraph 1 sounds both
harsh and defensive; the close is selfish. The language is stiff and filled with outdated
jargon. Perhaps the most serious problem is that the fact most interesting to the reader is
buried in the middle of the first paragraph. Since we have good news for the reader, we
should put that information first.
LO 6-2
LO 6-3
When executive Greg Smith
resigned from Goldman Sachs,
he criticized the firm for ignoring
the best interests of clients.
He wrote that employees
referred to them as “muppets”
and junior analysts commonly
asked, “How much money
did we make off the client?”
Smith’s disgust at the firm’s
me-centered culture was
revealed in a scathing editorial
published in The New York Times.
Source: Greg Smith, “Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs,” The New
York Times, March 14, 2012, http://
www.nytimes.com/2012/03/14/
opinion/why-i-am-leaving-goldman-
sachs.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all
%3Fsrc%3Dtp&smid=fb-share .
Instant Replay
Five Ways to Create
You-Attitude
1. Talk about the reader, not
about yourself.
2. Refer to the reader’s
request or order specifically.
3. Don’t talk about feelings,
except to congratulate or
offer sympathy.
4. In positive situations, use you
more often than I. Use we
when it includes the reader.
5. Avoid you in negative
situations.
I R
Five Ways to
Instant Replay
Definitions of Impersonal
Constructions
Impersonal constructions omit people and talk only about things.
Passive verbs describe the action performed on
something, without necessarily
saying who did it.
I R
Definitions o
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 94loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 94 12/17/12 7:43 PM12/17/12 7:43 PM
Confirming pages
Module 6 You-Attitude 95
Site to See
Go to
www.leadershipcharacter. com/eq_quiz2.htm
to assess your Emotional
Intelligence.
Go to Fixing individual sentences could improve the letter. However, it really needs to be
rewritten. Figure 6.2 shows a possible revision. The revision is clearer, easier to read, and
friendlier.
When you have negatives, third-person is better you-attitude than second-person
because third-person shows that everyone is being treated the same way.
Figure 6.1 A Letter Lacking You-Attitude
December 11, 2012
Ms. Carol McFarland
Rollins Equipment Corporation
18438 East Night Hawk Way
Phoenix, AZ 85043-7800
Dear Ms. McFarland:
We are now ready to issue a check to Rollins Equipment in the amount of $14,207.02. To
receive said check, you will deliver to me a release of the mechanic's liens in the amount of
$14,207.02.
Before we can release the check, we must be satisfied that the release is in the proper form.
We must insist that we be provided with a stamped original of the lien indicating the
document number in the appropriate district court where it is filed. Also, either the release
must be executed by an officer of Rollins Equipment, or we must be provided with a letter
from an officer of Rollins Equipment authorizing another individual to execute the release.
Please contact the undersigned so that an appointment can be scheduled for this
transaction.
Sincerely,
Kelly J. Pickett
Leg alis
ticNot
you -
atti tud
e
Focuses on negative Sounds dictatorial
Lacks you-attitude
Hard to read, remember
Jargon
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 95loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 95 12/17/12 7:43 PM12/17/12 7:43 PM
Confirming pages
96 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
Figure 6.2 A Letter Revised to Improve You-Attitude
December 11, 2012
Ms. Carol McFarland Rollins Equipment Corporation 18438 East Night Hawk Way Phoenix, AZ 85043-7800
Dear Ms. McFarland:
Let's clear up the lien in the Allen contract.
Rollins will receive a check for $14,207.02 when you give us a release for the mechanic's lien of $14,207.02. To assure us that the release is in the proper form,
1. Give us a stamped original of the lien indicating the document's district court number, and
2. Either a. Have an officer of Rollins Equipment sign the release or b. Give us a letter from a Rollins officer authorizing someone else to sign the release.
Call me to tell me which way is best for you.
Sincerely,
Kelly J. Pickett Extension 5318
Focu ses
on w hat
read er
gets
Emphasiz es
reader's choice
Extension number m
akes
it easy fo r reader t
o phone.
List m akes i
t
easy t o see
that
reader needs
to do two
things —and
that
the se cond c
an
be don e in
two wa ys.
Sta rts
wit h
m ain
po int
fro m t
he
rea
der 's p
oin t o
f vi ew
450 INDUSTRIAL PARK CLEVELAND, OH 44120 (216) 555-4670 FAX: (216) 555-4672
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 96loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 96 12/17/12 7:43 PM12/17/12 7:43 PM
Confirming pages
97
Seeing another point of view means more than observing and
sympathizing. It also means empathizing—putting yourself “in
the other person’s shoes.”
How? Start with shared experiences. A professor thought a
student who dozed in his class was being rude. Some of her
classmates did, too. But then the professor recalled how he’d
worked his way through college. Many students today have
full-time jobs, he knew, and the professor noticed this student
often wore green medical togs.
Instead of taking offense, the professor met with the student
and discovered she frequently came to his class from a double
shift at the local hospital. She simply was exhausted, as he often
had been. He helped her transfer to another course section so
she could sleep before class. She finished the term with high
marks and even took a class with him later.
Resolving conflicts often requires empathy. To learn to
look beyond your own point of view, think of a situation where
you were misunderstood. How did you feel? What resources
of yours—time, money, and emotional energy—were wasted?
What did you want from the other person?
Now, turn it around. How might the other person answer the
same questions? What could you have given? The points where
concerns overlap are opportunities for compromise.
Resist the temptation to put your needs ahead of others’.
Instead, remember that all business is exchange, a form of com-
promise. Learning to see another point of view is the first step
toward a successful exchange.
Many companies want employees who can empathize. To
prepare for her role in overseeing the operations of McDonald’s
China at the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing, Shantel Wong
completed a nine-month training program, learning every
aspect of restaurant practice, including filling orders, flipping
burgers, and cleaning toilets.
Even if she never works another deep fryer again, Wong
knows what it takes, as well as what her employees go through
daily. She also understands how they can make the customers’
dining experiences even better.
RunPee.com empathized with moviegoers seeking timely
restroom breaks and now gets 3,000 to 6,000 visitors daily. The
site’s slogan: “Helping your bladder enjoy going to the movies
as much as you do.”
Some researchers believe that “emotional intelligence,” or
EQ, is a predictor of success in life. Daniel Goleman, whose
bestseller Emotional Intelligence helped popularize the con- cept, found that “self-awareness, self-discipline, persistence,
and empathy were more important than intelligence in getting
ahead in life.” In his follow-up, Working with Emotional Intel- ligence, he argued that EQ was more important than intellect or technical skill for success on the job. Key to building healthy
relationships with clients, customers, and co-workers is seeing
another point of view.
Sources: Normandy Madden, “CMO Training for the Olympics by Flipping Burgers, Cleaning Toilets,” Advertising Age, June 20, 2005, 30; Jake Coyle, “Web Site Helps Time Mid-Movie Bathroom Breaks,”
downloaded July 27, 2009, at http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090731/
ap_on_en_mo/us_film_bathroom_breaks ; and Mary Vanac, “Will You Let
Me Help You Find a Solution ?” The Cleveland Plain Dealer, August 13, 2007, downloaded at www.cleveland.com/business/plaindealer/index.ssf?/
base/other/1186995109169780.xml&coll=2&thispage=1 .
Building a Critical Skill
Seeing Another Point of View LO 6-4
McDonald’s China executive
Shantel Wong’s intensive
training helps her to see other
points of view.
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 97loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 97 12/17/12 7:43 PM12/17/12 7:43 PM
Confirming pages
98 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
Summary of Learning Objectives
• To create you-attitude in sentences, (LO 6-1) 1. Talk about the reader, not about yourself.
2. Refer to the reader’s request or order specifically.
3. Don’t talk about feelings, except to congratulate or offer
sympathy.
4. In positive situations, use you more often than I. Use we when it includes the reader.
5. Avoid you in negative situations. • Apply you-attitude beyond the sentence level by using organi-
zation, content, and layout as well as style to build goodwill.
(LO 6-2) • To create goodwill with content, (LO 6-3) • Be complete.
• Anticipate and answer likely questions from readers.
• Show why information is important if the reader didn’t ask
for it.
• Show readers how the message subject affects them.
• To organize information with goodwill,
• Put information readers are most interested in first.
• Arrange information to meet your reader’s needs.
• Use headings and lists.
• Seeing another point of view means putting yourself “in the
other person’s shoes.” (LO 6-4) • Use empathy. • Think of a situation where you were misunderstood.
• Resist the temptation to put your needs ahead of
others’.
Assignments for Module 6
6.1 What is you-attitude? (LO 6-1)
6.2 How can you create you-attitude within sentences? (LO 6-1)
6.3 How can you create you-attitude beyond the sentence level? (LO 6-2, LO 6-3)
Questions for Comprehension
6.4 Can you think of situations in which the five strategies would not create you-attitude? If so, how would you create you-attitude in those situations? (LO 6-1, LO 6-2)
6.5 Why do sentences starting “We give you” lack you- attitude? (LO 6-1, LO 6-2)
6.6 Think of a time when you felt a business cared about you. What words or actions made you feel that way? (LO 6-1, LO 6-2)
6.7 Why doesn’t the word you always create you-attitude? (LO 6-2)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Revise these sentences to improve you-attitude. Eliminate
any awkward phrasing. In some cases, you may need to add
information to revise the sentence effectively.
1. I know you will appreciate the enclosed special mem-
bership pricing.
2. Because Pinnacle Marketing is a leader in online pro-
motion, we can offer the best and the brightest talent to
our customers.
3. We are pleased to make this limited-time offer available
to our audience.
4. As president and CEO, I personally guarantee our prod-
ucts are the best on the market.
5. We have no doubt that you will not find a better deal
anywhere else.
6. I hope that you will take the time to visit one of our
neighborhood locations close to you.
6.9 Improving You-Attitude (LO 6-1, LO 6-2)
Revise each of these sentences to improve you-attitude,
first using a passive verb, then using an impersonal con-
struction (one in which things, not people, do the action).
Are both revisions equally good? Why or why not?
1. You did not park your car in the appropriate lot.
2. You did not turn in the correct receipts for reimbursement.
3. Because of your error, you cost this company $14,000 in
extra charges.
4. You did not provide a portfolio showing relevant work
samples for this job.
5. You did not submit your weekly report on time to your
supervisor.
Exercises and Problems
6.8 Using Passives and Impersonal Constructions to Improve You-Attitude (LO 6-1)
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 98loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 98 12/17/12 7:43 PM12/17/12 7:43 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 6 You-Attitude 99
Identify three sentences that use (or should use) you-
attitude in documents you see as a worker, consumer, or
student. If the sentences are good, write them down or
attach a copy of the document(s) marking the sentence(s)
in the margin. If the sentences need work, provide both the
original sentence and a possible revision.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your examples with a small group of students.
b. Write a memo to your instructor discussing your
examples.
c. Post an e-mail message to the class discussing your
examples.
d. Present two or three of your examples to the class in a
short presentation.
e. With your small group, write a collaborative short
report to your instructor about the patterns you see.
6.12 Evaluating You-Attitude in Documents that Cross Your Desk (LO 6-1 to LO 6-4)
7. You will be pleased to know that a refund check is being
sent to you.
8. In the next few weeks, the company will offer wellness
seminars to encourage better lifestyle choices.
9. Since you were late to the meeting, we assigned you to
help with recruiting, the job nobody else wanted.
10. Thanks to your costly mistake, the company lost
$34,000 on the deal.
Revise these sentences to improve you-attitude. Eliminate
any awkward phrasing. In some cases, you may need to add
information to revise the sentence effectively.
1. The management provides a generous package of ben-
efits for all of its employees to enjoy.
2. You will no doubt be pleased to know that we have
decided to give you a refund.
3. Though you seem less qualified than the other candi-
dates, we’ve decided to offer you the job anyway.
4. This letter you wrote has so many typos I’m beginning
to regret hiring you.
5. Expect our phone call on or about October 3 to schedule
an appointment with our delivery person.
6. We assume even someone of your limited experience
can understand the need for discretion in our business.
7. If you do not turn in your time card punctually, you will
not receive your paycheck.
8. I saw the job posting you wrote and quite frankly I’m
surprised that anyone even bothered to answer it.
9. All of my employees must share my attitude about
serving the customer first—anything less will not be
tolerated by me.
10. I can’t understand why you complain so much here. It’s
as though you don’t really want to work for me.
6.10 Improving You-Attitude (LO 6-1, LO 6-2)
Revise the following memo to improve you-attitude.
6.11 Revising a Memo for You-Attitude (LO 6-1 to LO 6-3)
Subject: Status of Building Renovations
We are happy to announce that the renovation of the lobby is not behind schedule. By Monday, October 9,
we should be ready to open the west end of the lobby to limited traffic.
The final phase of the renovation will be placing a new marble floor in front of the elevators. This work will
not be finished until the end of the month.
We will attempt to schedule most of the work during the evenings so that normal business is not disrupted.
Please exercise caution when moving through the construction area. The floor will be uneven and steps will
be at unusual heights. Watch your step to avoid accidental tripping or falling.
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 99loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 99 25/01/13 9:18 PM25/01/13 9:18 PM
Confirming pages
100 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
With an apostrophe, it’s is a contraction meaning it is. Without an apostrophe, its is a possessive pronoun meaning belonging to it.
Contractions always use apostrophes:
It is → it’s I have → I’ve You will → you’ll They are → they’re
Possessive pronouns (unlike possessive nouns) do not use
apostrophes:
His / hers / its
My / mine / our / ours
Your / yours
Their / theirs
Because both it’s and its sound the same, you have to look at the logic of your sentence to choose the right word. If you could sub-
stitute it is, use it’s. Decide whether to use contractions (such as it’s, they’re, you’re,
we’re, should’ve, and so forth) based on audience, purpose, and organizational culture. Some audiences find contractions too infor-
mal; others find a lack of contractions off-putting or unfriendly. If
the purpose of your document is to persuade while being casual,
then contractions make sense. If, however, documents have sig-
nificant legal ramifications, contractions may seem flip. Your
organization may have its own conventions, too—check past
correspondence to see what is preferred.
In general, more formal documents such as résumés and long
research reports use few (or no) contractions. Contractions are often
OK in e-mail, memos, and letters in which you want a conversa-
tional tone, such as a fund-raising letter for the local animal shelter.
Exercises
Choose the right word in the set of brackets.
1. [It’s/Its] a good idea to keep paper copies of documents, as
electronic files can be lost or corrupted.
2. Halle told us [it’s/its] going to be at least five business days
before we can expect a reply to our Singapore proposal.
3. Though the app has been thoroughly tested, [it’s/its] a good
idea to test it one more time, just to be certain.
4. Because the Halloran Company values innovation, [it’s/its]
vital that creative people have the opportunity to realize their
potential there.
5. Each department should make sure [it’s/its] personnel files are
kept confidential.
6. We believe [it’s/its] a sign of good faith that our customers
have stayed with us in tough economic times.
7. Patel and Associates is dedicated to making sure [it’s/its]
clients receive the best service possible.
8. In her keynote address, Sophia told us that an organization is
strong only because [it’s/its] employees are strong.
9. While [it’s/its] impossible to be prepared for all emergencies,
[it’s/its] prudent to have a general disaster plan.
10. To keep up with [it’s/its] competition, a company needs
to make certain [it’s/its] social networking pages are kept
up-to-date.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
It’s/Its
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 100loc03261_ch06_089-100.indd 100 12/17/12 7:43 PM12/17/12 7:43 PM
Confirming pages
101
S ome negatives are necessary.
• Straightforward negatives build credibility when you have bad news to give the reader: announce-
ments of layoffs, product defects and recalls, price increases.
• Negatives may help people take a problem seriously. Wall Data improved the reliability of its
computer programs when it eliminated the term bugs and used instead the term failures.
• In some messages, such as negative performance appraisals, your purpose is to deliver a rebuke
with no alternative. Even here, avoid insults or attacks on the reader’s integrity or sanity. Being
honest about the drawbacks of a job reduces turnover.
• Sometimes negatives create a “reverse psychology” that makes people look favorably at your
product. Rent-a-Wreck is thriving. (The cars really don’t look so bad.) 1
But in most situations, it’s better to be positive. Researchers Annette N. Shelby and N. Lamar
Reinsch, Jr., found that businesspeople responded more positively to positive rather than to negative
language and were more likely to say they would act on a positively worded request. 2 Martin Selig-
man’s research for Met Life found that optimistic salespeople sold 37% more insurance than pes-
simistic colleagues. As a result, Met Life began hiring optimists even when they failed to meet the
company’s other criteria. These “unqualified” optimists outsold pessimists 21% in their first year and
57% the next. 3
LO 7-1 Apply strategies for positive emphasis use.
LO 7-2 Analyze situations for ethical positive emphasis.
LO 7-3 Explain reasons for tone, politeness, and power
considerations.
LO 7-4 Identify situations for apologies.
As Module 7 shows, positive emphasis builds goodwill and is better in most business messages than
negative emphasis. After completing the module, you should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Positive Emphasis 7
Module
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 101loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 101 19/12/12 7:49 PM19/12/12 7:49 PM
Confirming pages
102 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
Positive emphasis is a way of looking at things. Is the bottle half empty or half full?
You can create positive emphasis with the words, information, organization, and layout
you choose.
How do I create positive emphasis? LO 7-1
▶ Deemphasize or omit negative words and information.
The following five techniques deemphasize negative information:
1. Avoid negative words and words with negative connotations.
2. Focus on what the reader can do rather than on limitations.
3. Justify negative information by giving a reason or linking it to a reader benefit.
4. If the negative is truly unimportant, omit it.
5. Put the negative information in the middle and present it compactly.
In some messages, especially negative ones (▶▶ Module 11), you won’t use all five techniques. Practice each of these techniques so that you can use them when they’re
appropriate.
1. Avoid Negative Words and Words with Negative Connotations
Figure 7.1 lists some common negative words. If you find one of these words in a draft, try
to substitute a more positive word. When you must use a negative, use the least negative term that will convey your meaning.
The following examples show how to replace negative words with positive words.
Negative: We have failed to finish taking inventory. Better: We have n’t finished taking inventory. Still better: We will be finished taking inventory Friday. Negative: If you can’t understand this explanation, feel free to call me. Better: If you have further questions, just call me. Still better: Omit the sentence. (Readers aren’t shrinking violets. They’ll call if they do have
questions.)
Omit double negatives.
Negative: Do not forget to back up your disks. Better: Always back up your disks.
Happy U.S. states tend to be
ones that are wealthy, better
educated, and more tolerant,
according to research by the
University of Cambridge. Utah
scored the highest. Though
the differences in scores were
often marginal, well-being was
highest in the Mountain and
West Coast states and lowest
in the Midwest and Southern
states. A Gallup Poll, however,
found more Midwestern and
Western states represented
in the top 10 for happiness,
citing emotional health and
work environment among the
reasons for well-being. Hawaii
has topped the list three years
running.
Source: Jeanna Bryner, “Happiest States Are Wealthy and Tolerant,”
November 10, 2009, http://www.
livescience.com/culture/091110-
happy-states.html ; and Jeanna
Bryner, “ Happiest States: Hawaii
Moves into First Place,” February
16, 2010, http://news.yahoo.
com/s/livescience/20100216/
sc_livescience/happieststates
hawaiimovesintofirstplace ; and
Jeanna Bryner, “Happiest U.S.
States Revealed in New Poll,”
Fox News, February 28, 2012,
http://www.foxnews.com/
health/2012/02/28/happiest-us-
states-revealed-in-new-poll/. Figure 7.1 Negative Words to Avoid
afraid
anxious
avoid
bad
careless
damage
delay
delinquent
deny
difficulty
Some dis-words: disappoint
disapprove
dishonest
disinform
dissatisfied
eliminate
error
except
fail
fault
fear
hesitate
ignorant
ignore
impossible
Many in-words: inadequate
incomplete
inconvenient
injury
insincere
lacking
loss
Some mis-words: misfortune
missing
mistake
neglect
never
no
not
objection
problem
reject
sorry
terrible
trivial
trouble
wait
weakness
worry
wrong
Many un-words: unclear
unfair
unfortunate
unfortunately
unpleasant
unprepared
unreasonable
unreliable
unsure
Site to See
Go to
http://gimundo.com
for good news, positive stories,
and related videos.
Go to
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 102loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 102 19/12/12 7:49 PM19/12/12 7:49 PM
Confirming pages
Even when rejecting someone or something, you should avoid harsh or insulting words.
Reprinted by permission of CartoonStock.com ,
www.cartoonstock.com .
Module 7 Positive Emphasis 103
When you must use a negative, use the least negative term that is accurate.
Negative: Your balance of $835 is delinquent. Better: Your balance of $835 is past due.
Getting rid of negatives has the added benefit of making what you write easier to under-
stand. Sentences with three or more negatives are very hard to understand. 4
Beware of hidden negatives : words that are not negative in themselves but become negative in context. But and however indicate a shift, so, after a positive statement, they are negative. I hope and I trust that suggest that you aren’t sure. Patience may sound like a virtue, but it is a necessary virtue only when things are slow. Even positives about a service
or product may backfire if they suggest that in the past the service or product was bad.
Negative: I hope this is the information you wanted. [Implication: I’m not sure.]
Better: Enclosed is a brochure about road repairs scheduled for 2013–14. Still better: The brochure contains a list of all roads and bridges scheduled for repair during
2013–14. Call Gwen Wong at 555–3245 for specific dates when work will start and
stop and for alternate routes.
Negative: Please be patient as we switch to the automated system. [Implication: you can expect problems.]
Better: If you have questions during our transition to the automated system, call Melissa Morgan.
Still better: You’ll be able to get information instantly about any house on the market when the automated system is in place. If you have questions during the transition, call
Melissa Morgan.
Negative: Now Crispy Crunch tastes better. [Implication: it used to taste terrible.] Better: Now Crispy Crunch tastes even better.
Removing negatives does not mean being arrogant or pushy.
Negative: I hope that you are satisfied enough to place future orders. Arrogant: I look forward to receiving all of your future business. Better: Call Mercury whenever you need transistors.
Optimism can be powerful
in helping a person achieve
his or her goals, but a lack
of optimism might also be a
hindrance—and a self-fulfilling
prophecy. A recent Gallup Poll
found that for the first time on
record, most Americans did
not believe that today’s young
people would have better lives
than their parents. The poll,
administered on and off since
1983, found that only 44%
of Americans thought things
would turn out better. How
such thinking may shape the
future, of course, remains to
be seen.
Source: Catherine Rampell, “Dimming Optimism for Today’s
Youth,” The New York Times, May
2, 2011, http://economix.blogs.
nytimes.com/2011/05/02/dimming-
optimism-for-todays-youth/?gwh=
354CD1DC224BF21C6B9B0A274
0E9E2AC .
Instant Replay
Five Ways to Create
Positive Emphasis
To deemphasize negative
information,
1. Avoid negative words
and words with negative
connotations.
2. Focus on what the reader
can do rather than on
limitations.
3. Justify negative information
by giving a reason or linking
it to a reader benefit.
4. If the negative is truly
unimportant, omit it.
5. Put the negative information
in the middle and present it
compactly.
I R
Five Ways to
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 103loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 103 19/12/12 7:49 PM19/12/12 7:49 PM
Confirming pages
104 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
When you eliminate negative words, be sure to maintain accuracy. Words that are
exact opposites will usually not be accurate. Instead, use specifics to be both positive and
accurate.
Negative: The exercycle is not guaranteed for life. Not true: The exercycle is guaranteed for life. True: The exercycle is guaranteed for 10 years.
Negative: Customers under 60 are not eligible for the Prime Time discount. Not true: You must be over 60 to be eligible for the Prime Time discount. True: If you’re 60 or older, you can save 10% on all your purchases with RightWay’s
Prime Time discount.
Legal phrases also have negative connotations for most readers and should be avoided
whenever possible. The idea will sound more positive if you use conversational English.
Negative: If your account is still delinquent, a second, legal notice will be sent to you informing you that cancellation of your policy will occur 30 days after the date
of the legal notice if we do not receive your check.
Better: Even if your check is lost in the mail and never reaches us, you still have a 30-day grace period. If you do get a second notice, you will know that your payment
hasn’t reached us. To keep your account in good standing, stop payment on the first
check and send a second one.
2. Focus on What the Reader Can Do Rather than on Limitations
Sometimes positive emphasis is a matter of the way you present something: Is the glass
half empty or half full? Sometimes it’s a matter of eliminating double negatives. When
there are limits, or some options are closed, focus on the alternatives that remain.
Negative: We will not allow you to charge more than $1,500 on your VISA account. Better: You can charge $1,500 on your new VISA card. or: Your new VISA card gives you $1,500 in credit that you can use at thousands of
stores nationwide.
As you focus on what will happen, check for you-attitude (◀◀ p. 90). In the last example, “We will allow you to charge $1,500” would be positive, but it lacks you-attitude.
When you have a benefit and a requirement the reader must meet to get the benefit, the
sentence is usually more positive if you put the benefit first.
Some stores might say, “Put books you don’t
want here.” But Bookseller Joseph–Beth in
Lexington, Kentucky, uses positive emphasis.
Happiness and optimism may
have a good effect on your
heart, according to researchers
at Harvard University. While
scientists have known for
some time about the reverse
relationship—how depression,
for instance, can be bad for
the heart—less was known
about the influence of positive
thinking on the organ. When
it comes to financial issues,
however, too much optimism
may actually be a bad thing.
According to Duke University’s
Manju Puri and David T.
Robinson, extreme optimists
may avoid long-term savings or
paying off credit cards because
they think the economy will
always do better.
Sources: Anahad O’Connor, “Really? Optimism Reduces
the Risk of Heart Disease,”
The New York Times, April 23,
2012, http://well.blogs.nytimes.
com/2012/04/23/really-optimism-
reduces-the-risk-of-heart-disease/
?gwh=BADA807829DF77253E28
10F80B07EF6A ; and Alina Tugend,
“Lean Toward the Sunny Side, but
Don’t Overdo It,” The New York
Times, September 23, 2011, http://
www.nytimes.com/2011/09/24/
business/optimism-but-not-too-
much-can-be-good-for-you.
html?_r=1&pagewanted=all&gwh=
842BAB5DF37429951FDD485A9
E5C0A54 .
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 104loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 104 19/12/12 7:49 PM19/12/12 7:49 PM
Confirming pages
Module 7 Positive Emphasis 105
Negative: You will not qualify for the student membership rate of $25 a year unless you are enrolled for at least 10 hours.
Better: You get all the benefits of membership for only $25 a year if you’re enrolled for 10 hours or more.
3. Justify Negative Information by Giving a Reason or Linking It to a Reader Benefit
A reason can help your reader see that the information is necessary; a benefit can suggest
that the negative aspect is outweighed by positive factors. Be careful, however, to make the
logic behind your reason clear and to leave no loopholes.
Negative: We cannot sell computer disks in lots of less than 10. Loophole: To keep down packaging costs and to help you save on shipping and handling
costs, we sell computer disks in lots of 10 or more.
Suppose the customer says, “I’ll pay the extra shipping and handling. Send me seven.”
If you can’t or won’t sell in lots of less than 10, you need to write:
Better: To keep down packaging costs and to help customers save on shipping and handling costs, we sell computer disks only in lots of 10 or more.
If you link the negative element to a benefit, be sure it is a benefit the reader will
acknowledge. Avoid telling people that you’re doing things “for their own good.” They
may have a different notion of what their own good is. You may think you’re doing custom-
ers a favor by limiting their credit so they don’t get in over their heads and go bankrupt.
They may feel they’d be better off with more credit so they could expand in hopes of mak-
ing more sales and more profits.
4. If the Negative Is Truly Unimportant, Omit It
Omit negatives entirely only when
• The reader does not need the information to make a decision.
• You have already given the reader the information and he or she has access to the
previous communication.
• The information is trivial.
The following examples suggest the kind of negatives you can omit:
Negative: A one-year subscription to PC Magazine is $49.97. That rate is not as low as the rates charged for some magazines.
Better: A one-year subscription to PC Magazine is $49.97. Still better: A one-year subscription to PC Magazine is $49.97. You save 43% off the newsstand
price of $87.78.
Negative: If you are not satisfied with Interstate Fidelity Insurance, you do not have to renew your policy.
Better: Omit the sentence.
5. Bury the Negative Information and Present It Compactly
The beginning and end are always positions of emphasis. Put negatives here only if you
want to emphasize the negative, as you may in a negative message (▶▶ Module 11). To deemphasize a negative, put it in the middle of a paragraph rather than in the first or last
sentence, in the middle of the message rather than in the first or last paragraphs.
When a letter or memo runs several pages, remember that the bottom of the first page is
also a position of emphasis, even if it is in the middle of a paragraph, because of the extra
white space of the bottom margin. (The first page gets more attention because it is on top
and the reader’s eye may catch lines of the message even when he or she isn’t consciously
Researchers Teresa Amabile
and Steven Kramer found
that happier people make
better workers. In a study
of nearly 12,000 electronic
diary entries from business
professionals, however,
they discovered a third were
unhappy, unmotivated, or
both, a situation exacerbated
by dwindling job resources
and security. With employees
more likely to have new ideas
on happier days, the cost
of lost productivity is high—
one estimate is $300 billion
annually in the U.S.
Sources: Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, “Do Happier People
Work Harder?” The New York
Times, September 3, 2011, http://
www.nytimes.com/2011/09/04/
opinion/sunday/do-happier-people-
work-harder.html ; and Teresa
Amabile and Steven Kramer, “Pro:
Bring on the Smiles, Count the
Profits,” Bloomberg Businessweek,
February 22, 2012, http://www.
businessweek.com/debateroom/
archives/2012/02/employee_
happiness_matters_more_than_
you_think.html .
Instant Replay
Definition of Hidden
Negatives
Hidden negatives are words
that are not negative in
themselves but become
negative in context.
I R
Definition of
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 105loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 105 19/12/12 7:49 PM19/12/12 7:49 PM
Confirming pages
106
Using Positive Emphasis Ethically LO 7-2
Building a Critical Skill
The methods to achieve positive emphasis can be misused, so
be careful when using them.
Consider omission of necessary details.
Shannon Castillo played a local radio station’s weeklong
contest to win a Hummer H2 vehicle. When she showed up on
April 1 to collect her prize, she didn’t get the $60,000 vehicle
she expected. Instead, she received a remote-controlled toy rep-
lica. The station contended it was an April Fool’s Day joke and
that the winners weren’t promised the actual vehicle. A simi-
lar contest was held by a restaurant that promised employees
a “Toyota” for selling the most beer. When the winner came
forward, she was presented with a Star Wars character doll— her “toy Yoda.”
In both cases, full disclosure might have affected decisions:
Participants might have passed on the contests had they known
that the prize wasn’t what they expected. It isn’t ethical to omit
information that people need to make decisions. Lawsuits also
can occur from such practice.
Focusing on what the reader can do rather than on limita-
tions works when the situation is appropriate. People don’t
expect, for instance, to be congratulated for being able to
use their skills with another employer when, in fact, they’re
being fired.
Presenting information compactly also can go too far. A
credit card company mailed out a letter with the good news
that the minimum monthly payment was going down. But
a separate small flyer explained that interest rates (on the
charges not repaid) were going up. The print was far too small
to read: 67 lines of type were crowded into five vertical inches
of text.
The Federal Emergency Management Agency, or FEMA,
still reeling from criticism over its handling of the Hurricane
Katrina disaster, was further embarrassed when John P. “Pat”
Philbin, its external affairs director, staged a briefing with
FEMA staff members posing as reporters. They asked easy-to-
answer questions phrased in positive language. Authentic jour-
nalists were invited 15 minutes before the briefing and allowed
to listen through a conference call but not ask questions. At the
time, Philbin had already accepted a job with the Director of
National Intelligence. That offer was later rescinded.
Food manufacturers may substitute lesser-known ingredi-
ents for those that have negative connotations for some custom-
ers. Thus, shoppers avoiding sugar should be aware that corn syrup, high-fructose corn syrup, and white grape juice concen- trate may be euphemisms for the same.
Sources: Tim Molloy, “Woman Sues Over Radio Station’s Toy Hummer April Fools’ Prank,” July 13, 2005, downloaded at www.montereyherald.
com/mld/montereyherald/news/12124132.htm ; Reg Wydeven, “Radio
Giveaways End Up Taking Listeners for a Bad Ride,” July 23, 2005,
downloaded at www.wisinfo.com/postcrescent/news/archive/col_21850677.
shtml ; Donna S. Kienzler, “Visual Ethics,” The Journal of Business Communication 34 (1997): 175–76; Pamela Hess, “Former FEMA Spokesman Loses Spy Job,” downloaded at http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/
wireStory?id=3792287 on December 24, 2007; and Dan Shapley, “Don’t
Be Misled by These Food Label Tricks,” February 3, 2010. http://green.
yahoo.com/blog/daily_green_news/280/don-t-be-misled-by-these-food-
label-tricks.html .
reading it; the tops and bottoms of subsequent pages don’t get this extra attention.) If pos-
sible, avoid placing negative information at the bottom of the first page.
Giving a topic lots of space emphasizes it. Therefore, you can deemphasize negative
information by giving it as little space as possible. Give negative information only once
in your message. Don’t list negatives vertically on the page because lists take space and
emphasize material.
Why do I need to think about tone, politeness, and power? LO 7-3
▶ So you don’t offend people by mistake.
No one likes to deal with people who seem condescending or rude. Poorly chosen words
can create that sense, whether the sender “meant” to be rude or not. Tone is the implied attitude of the writer toward the reader. Tone is tricky because it interacts with power:
The words that might seem friendly from a superior to a subordinate may seem uppity if
used by the subordinate to the superior. Norms for politeness are cultural and generational.
Researchers Jacqueline
Mayfield and Milton Mayfield
found in their study at Texas
A&M University that total
effects showed for every 10%
increase in motivating language
to students, there was about a
3% decrease in absenteeism.
Source: Jacqueline Mayfield and Milton Mayfield, “The Role of
Leader Motivating Language in
Employee Absenteeism,” Journal of
Business Communication, October
2009, 46:4, 455–479.
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 106loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 106 19/12/12 7:49 PM19/12/12 7:49 PM
Confirming pages
Module 7 Positive Emphasis 107
Language that is acceptable within one group may be unacceptable if used by someone
outside the group.
The desirable tone for business writing is businesslike but not stiff, friendly but not
phony, confident but not arrogant, polite but not groveling. The following guidelines will
help you achieve the tone you want.
• Use courtesy titles for people outside your organization whom you don’t know well. Most U.S. organizations use first names for everyone, whatever their age or rank. But
many people don’t like being called by their first names by people they don’t know or
by someone much younger. When you talk or write to people outside your organization,
use first names only if you’ve established a personal relationship. If you don’t know
someone well, use a courtesy title (▶▶ Module 9):
Dear Mr. Reynolds:
Dear Ms. Lee:
• Be aware of the power implications of the words you use. “Thank you for your cooperation” is generous coming from a superior to a subordinate; it’s not appropriate
in a message to your superior. Different ways of asking for action carry different levels
of politeness. 5
Order Turn in your time card by Monday.
(lowest politeness)
Polite order Please turn in your time card by Monday.
(midlevel politeness)
Indirect request Time cards should be turned in by Monday.
(higher politeness)
Question Would you be able to turn in your time card
(highest politeness) by Monday?
You need more politeness if you’re asking for something that will inconvenience the
reader and help you more than the person who does the action. Generally, you need
less politeness when you’re asking for something small, routine, or to the reader’s
benefit. Some discourse communities, however, prefer that even small requests be
made politely.
Lower politeness: To start the scheduling process, please describe your availability for meetings during the second week of the month.
Higher politeness: Could you let me know what times you’d be free for a meeting the second week of the month?
Higher levels of politeness may be unclear. In some cases, a question may seem like a
request for information to which it’s acceptable to answer, “No, I can’t.” In other cases, it
will be an order, simply phrased in polite terms. Generally, requests sound friendliest when
they use conversational language.
Poor tone: Return the draft with any changes by next Tuesday. Better tone: Let me know by Tuesday whether you’d like any changes in the draft.
• When the stakes are low, be straightforward. Messages that “beat around the bush” sound pompous and defensive.
Poor tone: Distribution of the low-fat plain granola may be limited in your area. May we suggest that you discuss this matter with your store manager.
Better tone: Our low-fat granola is so popular that there isn’t enough to go around. We’re expanding production to meet the demand. Ask your store manager to keep putting
in orders so that your grocery is on the list of stores that will get supplies when they
become available.
or: Store managers decide what to stock. If your store has stopped carrying our low-fat granola, the store manager has stopped ordering it. Talk to the manager. Managers
try to meet customer needs, so if you say something you’re more likely to get what
you want.
Resilience—the ability to
weather life’s stressors and
setbacks—plays an important
part in our success. In
Resilience: Why Things Bounce
Back, Andrew Zolli found that
most people are resilient and
often more than they think. The
key to resilience, he argues,
is mental attitude. Said Zolli,
who in the same year suffered
through the loss of a child,
death of business partner,
and mother’s diagnosis with a
serious illness, “If you believe
that the world is a meaningful
place, and you have a
meaningful place within it; if you
believe that you have agency
within the world, that your
actions have meaning . . . that
successes and failures are put
in your life to teach you things,
and that they’re not just random
acts of chance, then you
have a much higher degree of
resilience in the face of trauma.”
Source: Gregory M. Lamb, “Why Resilience Is the Key to Solving
21 st Century Problems,” The
Christian Science Monitor, July
20, 2012, http://www.csmonitor.
com/World/Making-a-difference/
Change-Agent/2012/0720/Why-
resilience-is-the-key-to-solving-
21st-century-problems .
Making a video apology?
Consultant Abbie Lundberg
advises, “Make the message
clear, look into the camera,
consider clothes and lighting,
and practice.” Such actions
might have improved BP CEO
Tony Hayward’s disastrous
YouTube apology for the Gulf
oil spill.
Source: David Rosenbaum, “Apologizing for Bad News? Be
Careful with the Video,” CFO, April
16, 2012, http://www3.cfo.com/
article/2012/4/technology_video-
executive-apologies-restatements .
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 107loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 107 19/12/12 7:50 PM19/12/12 7:50 PM
Confirming pages
108 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
• When you must give bad news, consider hedging your statement. John Hagge and Charles Kostelnick have shown that auditors’ suggestion letters rarely say
directly that firms are using unacceptable accounting practices. Instead, they use
three strategies to be more diplomatic: specifying the time (“currently, the records
are quite informal”), limiting statements (“it appears,” “it seems”), and using
impersonal statements that do not specify who caused a problem or who will
perform an action. 6
What’s the best way to apologize? LO 7-4
▶ Early, briefly, and sincerely.
When you are at fault, you may build goodwill by admitting that fact forthrightly. In
some cases, laws now provide protection for workplace apologies. Ohio and 26 other
states, for instance, have “I’m sorry” laws that allow physicians to acknowledge mis-
takes without fear of lawsuits. 7 However, apologies may have negative legal implica-
tions, so some organizations prefer that apologies not be issued to customers or the
public. Think about your audience and the organizational culture in deciding whether
to apologize explicitly.
• No explicit apology is necessary if the error is small and if you are correcting the mistake.
Negative: I’m sorry the clerk did not credit your account properly. Better: Your statement has been corrected to include your payment of $263.75.
• Do not apologize when you are not at fault. When you have done everything you can and when a delay or problem is due to circumstances beyond your control, you aren’t at
fault and don’t need to apologize. It may be appropriate to include an explanation so the
reader knows you weren’t negligent. If the news is bad, put the explanation first. If you
have good news for the reader, put it before your explanation.
Negative: I’m sorry that I could not answer your question sooner. I had to wait until the sales figures for the second quarter were in.
Better (neutral We needed the sales figures for the second quarter to answer your question. or bad news): Now that they’re in, I can tell you that . . . Better (good The new advertising campaign is a success. The sales figures for the second news): quarter are finally in, and they show that . . .
If the delay or problem is long or large, it is good you-attitude to ask the reader whether he
or she wants to confirm the original plan or make different arrangements.
Negative: I’m sorry that the chairs will not be ready by August 25 as promised. Better: Due to a strike against the manufacturer, the desk chairs you ordered will not be
ready until November. Do you want to keep that order, or would you like to look at
the models available from other suppliers?
• When you apologize, do it early, briefly, and sincerely. Apologize only once, early in the message. Let the reader move on to other, more positive information.
Even if major trouble or inconvenience has resulted from your error, you don’t need
to go on about all the horrible things that happened. The reader already knows this nega-
tive information, and you can omit it. Instead, focus on what you have done to correct the
situation.
If you don’t know whether or not any inconvenience has resulted, don’t raise the issue
at all.
Negative: I’m sorry I did n’t answer your letter sooner. I hope that my delay has n’t inconvenienced you.
Better: I’m sorry I didn’t answer your letter sooner.
Apologies may work—or may
not. Auto giant Toyota faced
criticism for taking too long to
acknowledge vehicle safety
problems. Even CEO Akio
Toyoda’s public apology in
2010 did little to salve angst
over what critics called “foot
dragging.” The company later
weathered lawsuits and sales
declines.
And while apologizing might
have worked better for New
Hampshire Representative
Martin Harty, the 91-year-old
refused after saying the mentally
disabled should be shipped to
Siberia. Harty resigned in 2011.
His defiance was echoed by
Illinois Representative Joe
Walsh, who criticized his political
opponent, Tammy Duckworth, a
decorated Blackhawk helicopter
pilot who lost both legs in the
Iraq War, for discussing her
experiences while campaigning
in 2012: “All she does, guys, is
talk about her service.” Walsh,
who never served in the military,
stood by his statements despite
public outcry.
Sources: Chris Isidore, “Toyota: Apology but No New Recall,”
CNN, February 5, 2010, http://
money.cnn.com/2010/02/05/news/
companies/toyota_announcement/ ;
“New Hampshire Rep Who
Suggested Disabled Go to Siberia
Quits,” March 14, 2011, http://
news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110314/
ap_on_go_ot/us_xgr_nh_lawmaker_
disabled ; and Rachel Rose
Hartman, “Rep. Joe Walsh Stands
by Accusation Tammy Duckworth
Politicizes Her Military Service,”
July 5, 2012, http://news.yahoo.
com/blogs/ticket/rep-joe-walsh-
doubles-down-accusation-tammy-
duckworth-144349000.htm .
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 108loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 108 19/12/12 7:50 PM19/12/12 7:50 PM
Confirming pages
Module 7 Positive Emphasis 109
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Positive emphasis means focusing on the positive rather than the negative aspects of a situation. (LO 7-1)
1. Avoid negative words and words with negative connotations.
2. State information positively. Focus on what the reader can
do rather than on what you won’t or can’t let the reader do.
3. Justify negative information by giving a reason or linking it
to a reader benefit.
4. If the negative is truly unimportant, omit it.
5. Put the negative information in the middle and present it
compactly.
• Hidden negatives are words that are not negative in themselves but become negative in context. (LO 7-1)
• Use positive emphasis ethically. (LO 7-2) • Include information readers need to make decisions.
• Focus on what the reader can do when it’s appropriate.
• Present information legibly and large enough to read.
• Avoid misleading claims.
• The desirable tone for business writing is businesslike but not
stiff, friendly but not phony, confident but not arrogant, polite
but not groveling. The following guidelines will help you
achieve the tone you want. (LO 7-3) • Use courtesy titles for people outside your organization
whom you don’t know well.
• Be aware of the power implications of the words you use.
• When the stakes are low, be straightforward.
• When you must give bad news, consider hedging your statement.
• Don’t apologize if the error is small and if you are correcting the
mistake. Don’t apologize if you are not at fault. If the delay or
problem is long or large, it is good you-attitude to ask the reader
whether he or she wants to make different arrangements. (LO 7-4) • When you apologize, do it early, briefly, and sincerely. How-
ever, apologies may have legal implications, so some organi-
zations prefer that apologies not be issued to customers or the
public. (LO 7-4)
Assignments for Module 7
7.1 How can you create positive emphasis? (LO 7-1)
7.2 Which of the following are negative words that you should avoid? (LO 7-1)
anxious hesitate change hope
eager necessary instead unfortunately
7.3 What are your options when you need to apologize? (LO 7-4)
Questions for Comprehension
7.4 Can you think of situations in which positive emphasis might backfire or be inappropriate? What strategies would
be most likely to meet the audience’s needs in those situa-
tions? (LO 7-1, LO 7-2)
7.5 Some negative phrases (such as “please do not hesitate”) are business clichés. Why is it better to avoid them? (LO 7-3)
7.6 If you work for a company that claims to be egalitarian, do you still need to attend to tone, power, and politeness?
(LO 7-3)
7.7 Think of a situation when an apology was appropriate. What strategy was actually used? Would another strategy
have been better? (LO 7-4)
Questions for Critical Thinking
The first word in each line is negative; the second is a posi- tive term that is sometimes substituted for it. Which of the
positive terms seem ethical? Which seem unethical? Briefly
explain your choices.
1. anxious excited 2. flack public relations specialist 3. gadget device
4. junk bonds high-yield bonds
5. problem challenge 6. right-winger conservative 7. tax user fee 8. layoffs rightsizing 9. liberal progressive 10. mouthpiece attorney 11. price increase price change
Exercises and Problems
7.8 Evaluating the Ethics of Positive Emphasis (LO 7-1)
Revise each of the following sentences to focus on the options that remain rather than those that are closed off.
1. We do not expect to have any problems with this account.
2. Do not hesitate to contact me should you have any questions.
3. If you are not neat and not punctual, you will find your- self not being promoted.
7.9 Focusing on the Positive (LO 7-1)
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 109loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 109 19/12/12 7:50 PM19/12/12 7:50 PM
Rev.confirming pages
110 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
7.10 Identifying Hidden Negatives (LO 7-1) Identify the hidden negatives in the following sentences
and revise to eliminate them. In some cases, you may need
to add information to revise the sentence effectively.
1. We hope you will enjoy working with us.
2. I expect you will be pleased with the enclosed refund.
3. I’m guessing you would like to know if you will receive
a bonus this year.
Revise the following sentences to improve positive empha- sis. In some cases, you may need to add or omit informa-
tion to revise effectively.
1. Relax! You don’t have to worry about getting your money.
2. Since Amanda can’t make the meeting on Tuesday, we
won’t be able to meet as a group until next Friday.
3. I just can’t believe how much your work has improved
in the past few months.
4. Emily, Paula, and Nell—she’s the really short one—aren’t
going to be able to make it to the reception until 7:45.
5. It isn’t that we don’t appreciate the work you’re doing
here. It’s just that you don’t seem to like it when people
compliment you.
6. It’s not a bad idea to be prepared for the worst since it’s
not likely it won’t happen eventually.
7. Hey, don’t get too excited about the interim promotion
since you won’t be in the job past August.
8. While Sean isn’t the worst employee we have, he isn’t
the best employee either. We hope his job performance
improves soon.
9. Don’t ever hesitate to contact us, no matter how silly or
trivial you think your question might be. We couldn’t
have become one of the top financial planning firms in
this area without listening to our customers, even when
they aren’t asking relevant questions.
10. Since you don’t have much collateral, we’re guessing
that you don’t expect to have the loan approved. Well,
that’s a silly idea. At Provincial Bank, we don’t judge
our customers. We help them even when they seem
high risk.
7.11 Revising Sentences to Improve Positive Emphasis (LO 7-1 to LO 7-4)
Revise the following sentences to improve positive empha- sis. In some cases, you may need to add or omit informa-
tion to revise effectively.
1. Don’t plan on being late. Try to arrive on time for the
meeting.
2. Noelani does not expect to use all of her sick leave, so
she wants to donate it to one of her co-workers who
does not have enough leave to cover an illness.
3. The server is down. I’m guessing it will be available
again in a few hours, so be patient.
4. You can’t change your dental plan once you’ve selected
it except during the annual enrollment period. That
won’t happen again until October 1 through October 20.
5. I’m sorry you were inconvenienced because one of our cus-
tomer service representatives couldn’t answer your question.
6. I doubt there will be any problems scheduling one of
our service technicians to look at your furnace on
Wednesday. Just don’t plan on leaving your home
between 1 pm and 5 pm.
7. We’ve had problems lately with our deliveries, so accept
my apologies for your package not being delivered on
time. It should be there in a few days.
8. Don’t forget that Monday is a holiday, and we don’t
expect anyone to work that day because the office is
closed!
9. You wouldn’t believe how hard the committee worked
to get this job done, in spite of not having a proper bud-
get or the support of senior management. In fact, it’s a
miracle the project wasn’t a disaster.
10. Though Luis does not spend a great deal of time in the
office, when he is there, he is not a lazy worker. The
office could do far worse than hire more employees
like Luis.
7.12 Revising Sentences to Improve Positive Emphasis (LO 7-1 to LO 7-4)
Subject: Status of College Internship Program
I’ve made great progress on the college internship program for our company. Though the program isn’t yet
ready for implementation, I can’t believe I’m far from making it so.
To date, I’ve drafted a plan for the program, contacted several HR managers at comparable companies
about their programs, and established a proposed budget for the program.
I’d be further along, but Rob made a mistake when he contacted State University about the program. He
accidentally indicated the program would begin in 2007, but the year is actually 2008. It was a silly mistake
but not a fatal one.
I wouldn’t worry about this error, as it shouldn’t be a problem to fix it.
If you have any questions about the program, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Revise the following memo to improve you-attitude and positive emphasis.
7.13 Revising a Memo to Improve Positive Emphasis (LO 7-1 to LO 7-4)
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 110loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 110 25/01/13 10:44 PM25/01/13 10:44 PM
Confirming pages
Module 7 Positive Emphasis 111
7.14 Identifying Positive Emphasis in Ads and Documents (LO 7-1 to LO 7-4)
Look at print advertisements and at documents you receive
from your college or university, from your workplace, and
from organizations to which you belong. Identify five sen-
tences that either (a) use positive emphasis or (b) should be
revised to be more positive.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your examples with a small group of students.
b. Write a memo to your instructor discussing your
examples.
c. Post an e-mail message to the class discussing your
examples.
d. Present two or three of your examples to the class in a
short presentation.
e. With your small group, write a collaborative short report
to your instructor about the patterns you see.
To show possession when a noun is singular, put the apostrophe
right after the word; then add s:
Allen’s The manager’s
Smith’s The company’s
If the possessing noun is plural, put the apostrophe right after
the word:
Customers’
Employees’
Companies’
In names that end with s or x, style books permit either form:
Thomas’ Linux’ Jones’
Thomas’s Linux’s Jones’s
Often, the location of the apostrophe tells the reader whether the
noun is singular or plural.
Singular Possessive Plural Possessive
The employee’s The employees’
Product’s Products’
Because the singular and plural possessives sound the same, look
at the logic of your sentence to choose the right word. Also note
that when you have plural possessive nouns, other words in the sen-
tence will also become plural.
Plural employees have plural opinions. Plural products have plural prices.
We listen to our employees’ opinions.
You can find all of our products’ prices on our website.
Exercises
Choose the correct word in each set of brackets. Indicate if either
word is acceptable.
1. While we can debate its methodology, the [report’s/reports’]
conclusion is clear: We should expand into South America.
2. [Alex’s/Alex’] point is the longer we hesitate to get into the
marketplace, the more potential customers we lose.
3. Too many [department’s/departments’] employees are dress-
ing casually on days other than Friday.
4. Before we decide to offer products in Costa Rica, we should
first determine what its [people’s/peoples’] opinions are of
our company.
5. This [company’s/companies’] first order of business is to
serve the customer as best as it can.
6. Each [manager’s/managers’] viewpoint is valuable, and we
want to give everyone a chance to participate.
7. Carefully review each [smartphone’s/smartphones’] capabili-
ties before committing to purchase one for business use.
8. Shaytell told us her [employee’s/employees’] after-work social
events are also helping to build teamwork in the office.
9. We found [Chris’s/Chris’] qualifications to be far superior to
the other job candidates’.
10. [Delvecchio and Associates’s/Delvecchio and Associates’]
final sales figures beat the estimates.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Singular and Plural Possessives
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 111loc03261_ch07_101-111.indd 111 19/12/12 7:50 PM19/12/12 7:50 PM
Confirming pages
112
Reader Benefits
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
R eader benefits are benefits or advantages that the reader gets by
• Using your services.
• Buying your products.
• Following your policies.
• Adopting your ideas.
Reader benefits are important in both informative and persuasive messages. In informative mes-
sages, reader benefits give reasons to comply with the policies you announce and suggest that the
policies are good ones. In persuasive messages, reader benefits give reasons to act and help over-
come reader resistance. Negative messages (▶▶ Module 11) do not use reader benefits.
Good reader benefits are
• Adapted to the audience.
• Based on intrinsic advantages.
• Supported by clear logic and explained in adequate detail.
• Phrased in you-attitude.
LO 8-1 Explain functions of reader benefits.
LO 8-2 Identify reader benefits for messages .
LO 8-3 Apply strategies for reader benefits creation.
LO 8-4 Select reader benefits for messages.
LO 8-5 Apply strategies for reader benefits and audience harmony.
LO 8-6 Support reader benefits with you-attitude.
Reader benefits enhance business messages, and Module 8 provides techniques for you to use
reader benefits well. After completing the module, you should be able to
Module
8
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 112loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 112 19/12/12 8:51 PM19/12/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
Module 8 Reader Benefits 113
Why do reader benefits work? LO 8-1
▶ Reader benefits improve the audience’s attitudes and actions.
Reader benefits improve both the attitudes and the behavior of the people you work with
and write to. They make people view you more positively; they make it easier for you to
accomplish your goals.
Expectancy theory says most people try to do their best only when they believe they can succeed and when they want the rewards that success brings. Reader benefits tell or
remind readers that they can do the job and that success will be rewarded. 1 Thus, they
help overcome two problems that reduce motivation: People may not think of all the pos-
sible benefits, and they may not understand the relationships among efforts, performance,
and rewards. 2
How do I identify reader benefits? LO 8-2
▶ Brainstorm!
Sometimes reader benefits will be easy to think of and to explain. When they are harder to
identify, brainstorm. You may want to brainstorm in two steps:
1. Think of the feelings, fears, and needs that may motivate your reader. Then identify
features of your product or policy that meet those needs.
2. Identify the objective features of your product or policy. Then think how these features
could benefit the audience.
Try to brainstorm at least three to five possible benefits for every informative mes-
sage and five to seven benefits for every persuasive message. The more benefits you
have, the easier it will be to choose good ones rather than settling for something
that’s so-so.
1. Think of Feelings, Fears, and Needs that May Motivate Your Reader. Then Identify Features of Your Product or Policy that Meet Those Needs
One of the best-known analyses of needs is Abraham H. Maslow’s hierarchy of
needs. 3 Physical needs are the most basic, followed by needs for safety and secu-
rity, for love and a sense of belonging, for esteem and recognition, and finally for
self-actualization or self-fulfillment. All of us go back and forth between higher-
and lower-level needs. Whenever lower-level needs make themselves felt, they
take priority.
Maslow’s model is a good starting place to identify the feelings, fears, and needs
that may motivate your audience. Figure 8.1 shows organizational motivators for each
of the levels in Maslow’s hierarchy. Often, a product or idea can meet needs on several
levels. Focus on the ones that audience analysis suggests are most relevant for your
audience, but remember that even the best analysis may not reveal all of a reader’s
needs. For example, a well-paid manager may be worried about security needs if her
spouse has lost his job or if the couple is supporting kids in college or an elderly
parent. Other motivation experts have found that motivators can vary with employees’
ages; for example, young salespeople are more likely to enjoy travel rewards, whereas
older salespeople might prefer to remain close to home and family, enjoying cash or
merchandise as rewards. 4
The intrinsic value of self-image
may be more important to
some people than the extrinsic
value of price. A recent study
published in The Proceedings
of the National Academy of
Sciences suggests that even
when consumers are offered
something for nothing but have
the option to pay, they pay. The
study used several scenarios
to test the theory and also
discovered that if proceeds
from sales are tied to charity,
people will pay even more.
According to lead researcher
Avelet Gneezy, from the
University of California at San
Diego, “Generally this paper
is about peoples’ aversion to
feeling bad about themselves.”
Source: Sarah Nassauer, “A Psychological Twist in Getting
Something for Nothing,” April
23, 2012, The Wall Street
Journal, http://blogs.wsj.com/
health/2012/04/23/a-psychological-
twist-in-getting-something-for-
nothing/?KEYWORDS=business+
psychology
Site to See
Go to
www.versis.co.uk/ docsmart.html
In a list of bullet points, Versis
spells out the business,
operational, and financial
benefits of its product,
DocSmart.
Go to
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 113loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 113 19/12/12 8:51 PM19/12/12 8:51 PM
• Using your talents and abilities. • Finding solutions to problems. • Serving humanity. • Self-respect and pride. • Being the best you can be.
• Being publicly recognized for achievements. • Being promoted or gaining authority. • Having status symbols. • Having a good personal reputation. • Having a good corporate reputation.
• Having friends, working with people you like. • Cooperating with other people on a project. • Conforming to a group's norms. • Feeling needed. • Being loyal or patriotic. • Promoting the welfare of a group you identify with or care about.
• Earning enough to afford a comfortable standard of living. • Having pleasant working conditions. • Having good health insurance and pension plans. • Understanding the reasons for actions by supervisors. • Being treated fairly. • Saving time and money. • Conserving human and environmental resources.
• Earning enough to pay for basic food, clothing, shelter, and medical care. • Having safe working conditions.
Self-actualization
Esteem, recognition
Love, belonging
Safety, security
Physical
Confirming pages
114 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
2. Identify the Features of Your Product or Policy. Then Think How These Features Could Benefit the Audience
A feature by itself is not a benefit. Often, a feature has several possible benefits.
Feature: Bottled water
Benefits: Is free from chemicals, pollutants
Tastes good
Has no calories
Is easy to carry to class; can be used while biking, driving, hiking
Feature: Closed captions on TV
Benefits: Enables hard-of-hearing viewers to follow dialogue
Helps speakers of English as a second
language learn phrases and idioms
Helps small children learn to read
Feature: Flextime
Instant Replay
Definition of Reader
Benefit
Reader benefits are benefits or advantages that the reader
gets by using your services,
buying your products, following
your policies, or adopting your
ideas.
I R
Definition of
Figure 8.1 Organizational
Motivations for Maslow’s
Hierarchy of Needs
Instant Replay
Criteria for Reader
Benefits
Good reader benefits are
• Adapted to the audience.
• Based on intrinsic
advantages.
• Phrased in you-attitude.
I R
Criteria for
The Rousing Creativity Group sells
the solid brass Benefit Finder ™ to
help salespeople develop benefits
for the features of their products
or services.
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 114loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 114 19/12/12 8:51 PM19/12/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
Module 8 Reader Benefits 115
Benefits: Enables workers to accommodate personal needs
Helps organization recruit, retain workers
More workers available in early morning and in evening
• Enables office to stay open longer—more service to clients, customers
• Enables workers to communicate with colleagues in different time zones more easily
Different features may benefit different subgroups in your audience. Depending on what
features a restaurant offered, you could appeal to one or more of the following subgroups:
Subgroup Features to meet the subgroup’s needs
People who work outside A quick lunch; a relaxing place to take clients or
the home colleagues
Parents with small children High chairs, child-size portions, and things to keep
the kids entertained while they wait for their orders
People who eat out a lot Variety both in food and in decor
People on tight budgets Economical food; a place where they don’t need to
tip (cafeteria or fast food)
People on special diets Low-sodium and low-calorie dishes; vegetarian
food; kosher food
People to whom eating out Music or a floor show; elegant surroundings;
is part of an evening’s reservations so they can get to a show or event after
entertainment dinner; late hours so they can come to dinner after a
show or game
To develop your benefits, think about the details of each one. If your selling point is
your relaxing atmosphere, think about the specific details that make the restaurant relax-
ing. If your strong point is elegant dining, think about all the details that contribute to that
elegance. Sometimes you may think of features that do not meet any particular need but
are still good benefits. In a sales letter for a restaurant, you might also want to mention the
nonsmoking section, your free coatroom, the fact that you’re close to a freeway or offer
free parking or a drive-up window, and how fast your service is.
Look beyond the ordinary, too. Noticing that almost half of U.S. marriages today are the
partners’ second unions, with many involving children, some hotels and resorts are offer-
ing “familymoon” packages that include baby-sitting, multiple bedrooms, and other family
friendly amenities. 5
Whenever you’re writing to customers or clients about features that are not unique
to your organization, it’s wise to present both the benefits of the features themselves
and the benefits of dealing with your company. If you talk about the benefits of din-
ing in a relaxed atmosphere but don’t mention your own restaurant, people may go
somewhere else!
How detailed should each benefit be? LO 8-3
▶ Use strong, vivid details.
You’ll usually need at least three to five sentences to give enough details about a reader
benefit. If you develop two or three reader benefits fully, you can use just a sentence or two
for less important benefits. Develop reader benefits by linking each feature to the readers’
needs—and provide details to make the benefit vivid!
While large chains like Meijer
and Sam’s Club provide limited
online grocery shopping, many
also require shoppers to pick
up orders at the store. The Hills
Market in Worthington, Ohio,
is among niche grocery stores
providing the benefits of both
online shopping and home
delivery—including 5,000 of its
best-selling items. Says The
Hills Market spokesperson Jill
Moorhead: “It gets our name
out there and is a draw for
busy people who like to shop
at work or want to have access
to our store anytime.”
Source: Tracy Turner, “Gourmet Grocer Puts Aisles Online,” The
Columbus Dispatch, May 19,
2011, http://www.dispatch.
com/live/content/business/
stories/2011/05/19/gourmet-
grocer-puts-aisles-online.
html?sid=101 .
An extraordinary benefit to
having more education is
a longer life expectancy.
According to a study published
in Health Affairs, the “lifelong
relationships of education and
its correlates with health and
longevity are striking.”
Source: Phillip Moeller, “Education: A Predictor of Longer Life,”
U.S. News & World Report,
August 13, 2012, http://money.
usnews.com/money/blogs/
the-best-life/2012/08/13/
education-a-predictor-of-longer-life .
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 115loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 115 19/12/12 8:51 PM19/12/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
116 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
Weak: We have place mats with riddles. Better: Answering all the riddles on Monical’s special place mats will keep the kids happy till your
pizza comes. If they don’t have time to finish (and they may not, since your pizza is ready
so quickly), just take the riddles home—or answer them on your next visit.
Make your reader benefits specific.
Weak: You get quick service. Better: If you only have an hour for lunch, try our Business Buffet. Within minutes, you can choose
from a variety of main dishes, vegetables, and a make-your-own-sandwich-and-salad bar.
You’ll have a lunch that’s as light or filling as you want, with time to enjoy it—and still be
back to the office on time.
Psychological description is a technique you can use to develop vivid, specific
reader benefits. Psychological description means creating a scenario rich with sense impressions—what the reader sees, hears, smells, tastes, feels—so readers can picture
themselves using your product or service and enjoying its benefits. You can also use psy-
chological description to describe the problem your product will solve. Psychological
description works best early in the message to catch readers’ attention.
Feature: Snooze alarm Benefit: If the snooze button is pressed, the alarm goes off and comes on again nine
minutes later.
Psychological Some mornings, you really want to stay in bed just a few more minutes. With the description: Sleepytime Snooze Alarm, you can snuggle under the covers for a few extra
winks, secure in the knowledge that the alarm will come on again to get you
up for that breakfast meeting with an important client. If you don’t have to be
anywhere soon, you can keep hitting the snooze alarm for up to an additional 63
minutes of sleep. With Sleepytime, you’re in control of your mornings.
Feature: Tilt windows Benefit: Easier to clean Psychological It’s no wonder so many cleaners “don’t do windows.” description: Balancing precariously on a rickety ladder to clean upper-story windows . . .
shivering outside in the winter winds and broiling in the summer sun as you
Different audiences may value different intrinsic and extrinsic benefits.
Reprinted by permission of CartoonStock.com, www.cartoonstock.com.
Sensory details give color,
texture, and depth to
experiences, even ones hard
to fathom. Ever wonder what
space smells like? According
to astronauts returning from
spacewalks, it’s something
like gunpowder or ozone. Skin
can hear, at least according
to one study. Air puffed on
skin altered the perceptions of
people distinguishing between
“pa” and “ta” and “ba” and
“da.” And a study at The Ohio
State University suggests that
touching an object evokes
feelings of ownership in as little
as 30 seconds.
Source: Tariq Malik, “Space Sights and Smells Surprise
Rookie Astronauts,” September 5,
2009, http://news.yahoo.com/s/
space/20090905/sc_space/pace
sightsandsmellssurpriserookie
astronauts ; Jeanna Bryner,
“Surprise! Your Skin Can
Hear,” November 25, 2009,
http://news.yahoo.com/s/
livescience/20091125/
sc_livescience/
surpriseyourskincanhear ; and
Andrea Thompson, “Study: You
Touch It, You Buy It,” January
16, 2009, http://news.yahoo.
com/s/livescience/20090116/
sc_livescience/
studyyoutouchityoubuyit .
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 116loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 116 19/12/12 8:51 PM19/12/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
Module 8 Reader Benefits 117
scrub away . . . running inside, then outside, then inside again to try to get the
spot that always seems to be on the other side. Cleaning traditional windows
really is awful.
In contrast, cleaning is a breeze with Tilt-in Windows. Just pull the inner win-
dow down and pull the bottom toward you. The whole window lifts out! Repeat
for the outer window. Clean them inside in comfort (sitting down or even watch-
ing TV if you choose). Then replace the top of the outer window in its track,
slide up, and repeat with the inner window. Presto! Clean windows!
In psychological description, you’re putting your reader in a picture. If the reader
doesn’t feel that the picture fits, the technique backfires. To prevent this, psychological
description often uses subjunctive verbs (“if you like . . .” “if you were . . .”) or the words
maybe and perhaps.
You’re hungry but you don’t want to bother with cooking. Perhaps you have guests to take
to dinner. Or it’s 12 noon and you only have an hour for lunch. Whatever the situation, the
Illini Union has a food service to fit your needs. If you want convenience, we have it. If it’s
atmosphere you’re seeking, it’s here too. And if you’re concerned about the price, don’t be.
When you’re looking for a great meal, the Illini Union is the place to find it.
— Illini Union brochure
How do I decide which benefits to use? LO 8-4
▶ Use the following three principles to decide.
Three principles guide your choice of reader benefits:
1. Use at least one benefit for each part of your audience.
2. Use intrinsic benefits.
3. Use the benefits you can develop most fully.
1. Use at Least One Benefit for Each Part of Your Audience
Most messages go to multiple audiences. In a memo announcing a company-subsidized
day care program, you want benefits not only for parents who might use the service but
also for people who don’t have children or whose children are older. Reader benefits for
these last two audiences help convince them that spending money on day care is a good
use of scarce funds.
In a letter to “consumers” or “voters,” different people will have different concerns. The
more of these concerns you speak to, the more persuasive you’ll be.
2. Use Intrinsic Benefits
Intrinsic benefits come automatically from using a product or doing something. Extrinsic benefits are “added on.” Someone in power decides to give them; they do not necessarily come from using the product or doing the action. Figure 8.2 gives examples of extrinsic
and intrinsic rewards for three activities.
Intrinsic rewards or benefits are better than extrinsic benefits for two reasons:
1. There just aren’t enough extrinsic rewards for everything you want people to do. You
can’t give a prize to every customer every time he or she places an order or to every
subordinate who does what he or she is supposed to do.
2. Research suggests that you’ll motivate subordinates more effectively by stressing the
intrinsic benefits of following policies and adopting proposals.
In a groundbreaking study of professional employees, Frederick Herzberg found
that the things people said they liked about their jobs were all intrinsic rewards—pride
Site to See
Go to
www.govbenefits.gov/ govbenefits_en.portal
for a “one-stop shopping”
portal to benefits provided by
the U.S. government.
While the actual cost of
producing a U.S. dollar bill is
6.4 cents, it comes backed
by the “full faith and credit of
the United States,” an intrinsic
value that makes it popular in
business throughout the world.
Source: “15 Things You Never Noticed on a Dollar,” January 24,
2010, http://shine.yahoo.com/
channel/life/15-things-you-never-
noticed-on-a-dollar-575113/ .
Instant Replay
Psychological
Description
Psychological description means creating a scenario rich
with sense impressions—what
the reader sees, hears, smells,
tastes, feels—so readers can
picture themselves using your
product or service and enjoying
its benefits.
I R
Psychologic
Go to
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 117loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 117 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
118 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
in achievement, an enjoyment of the work itself, responsibility. Extrinsic features—
pay, company policy—were sometimes mentioned as things people disliked, but they
were never cited as things that motivated or satisfied them. People who made a lot of
money still did not mention salary as a good point about the job or the organization. 6
In a 1998 survey of workers all over the United States, Aon Consulting found that the
factor most likely to produce employee loyalty and a desire to be productive was man-
agement’s recognition of employees’ personal and family lives. Salary didn’t make the
top 10.
Many family friendly companies have discovered that a culture of care keeps turn-
over low. The higher salary that a competitor might pay just doesn’t overcome the
advantage of working at a supportive, flexible company that values its employees. 7 In
a competitive job market, different candidates want different things. But many accept
lower salaries to get flextime, stock options, interesting work, or people they want to
work with. 8
Because money is not the only motivator, choose reader benefits that identify intrinsic
as well as extrinsic motivators for following policies and adopting ideas.
3. Use the Benefits You Can Develop Most Fully
One-sentence benefits don’t do much. Use the benefits that you can develop in three to five
sentences or more.
A reader benefit is a claim or assertion that the reader will benefit if he or she does
something. Convincing the reader, therefore, involves two steps: making sure the benefit
really will occur and explaining it to the reader.
If the logic behind a claimed reader benefit is faulty or inaccurate, there’s no way to
make that particular reader benefit convincing. Revise the benefit to make it logical.
Faulty logic: Using a computer will enable you to write letters, memos, and reports much more quickly.
Analysis: If you’ve never used a computer, in the short run it will take you longer to create a document using a computer than it would to type it. Even after you know how
to use a computer and its software, the real time savings comes when a document
incorporates parts of previous documents or goes through several revisions. Cre-
ating a first draft from scratch will still take planning and careful composing; the
time savings may or may not be significant.
Revised Using a computer allows you to revise and edit a document more easily. It eliminates reader retyping as a separate step and reduces the time needed to proofread revisions. benefit: It allows you to move the text around on the page to create the best layout.
Some benefits are never
predictable. From a helicopter,
Swiss rescuers located two
skiers by the light from their
MP3 player. A mother’s
handwritten labels on her
record collection let her only
child—30 years after her
passing—realize the records
he’d bought at a distant
antique store were once hers.
People who focus on one task
at a time are more effective at
multitasking than those who
multitask regularly, according
to one study.
Source: Sam Cage, “MP3 Player Guides Rescuers to Lost
Tourists,” December 27, 2009,
http://www.reuters.com/article/
idUSTRE4BQ14P20081227 ; Gina
Kim, “Sacramentan Buys Old Vinyl
45s, Finds Out They Were His
Mom’s,” The Sacramento Bee,
July 31, 2009, http://www.sacbee.
com/topstories/story/2071033.
html ; and Randolph E. Schmid,
“Study Finds People Who
Multitask Often Bad at It,” August
24, 2009, http://news.yahoo.
com/s/ap/20090824/ap_on_sc/
us_sci_multitasking_mayhem .
Activity Extrinsic Reward Intrinsic Reward
Making a sale. Getting a commission. Pleasure in convincing
someone; pride in using your
talents to think of a strategy
and execute it.
Turning in a suggestion to a
company suggestion system.
Getting a monetary reward
when the suggestion is
implemented.
Solving a problem at work;
making the work environment
a little more pleasant.
Writing a report that solves an
organizational problem.
Getting praise, a good
performance appraisal, and
maybe a raise.
Pleasure in having an effect on
an organization; pride in using
your skills to solve problems;
solving the problem itself.
Figure 8.2 Extrinsic and Intrinsic Rewards
In The (Honest) Truth About
Dishonesty, Duke University’s
Dan Ariely observes when liars
and cheats consider doing
something wrong, their thinking
is counterintuitive. For instance,
going to prison seems a
natural deterrent to committing
a crime, but Ariely maintains
that in his experience, “big
cheaters” don’t think of long-
term consequences. With
regard to inside traders, he
suggests “incredibly close
to zero, maybe exactly zero”
considered the consequences
of jail time.
(continued)
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 118loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 118 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
119
When you communicate with different audiences, you may
need to stress different benefits.
Suppose that you manufacture a product and want to persuade
dealers to carry it. The features you may cite in ads directed
toward customers—stylish colors, sleek lines, convenience, dura-
bility, good price—won’t convince dealers. Shelf space is at a
premium, and no dealer carries all the models of all the brands
available for any given product. Why should the dealer stock your
product? To be persuasive, talk about the features that are benefits
from the dealer’s point of view: turnover, profit margin, a national
advertising campaign to build customer awareness and interest,
special store displays that will draw attention to the product.
Look for intrinsic as well as extrinsic benefits. For instance,
Rossmoor Elementary School Principal Lauren Telfer says, “If
you’re looking for what’s best for students, it’s important to
have them interact with both sexes. . . . I think students really
benefit from having that mix.” However, the proportion of
men in teaching is at a 40-year low—only 21% in U.S. public
schools. Telfer works to recruit male teachers. With 33 of her
35 teachers female, she says she also tries to make male teach-
ers more comfortable, including asking faculty to rein in lunch-
room conversations about intimate matters.
Alumni at prestigious business schools provide financial sup-
port and word-of-mouth advertising for alma maters, but they also
benefit from a strong network of peers and a sense of belonging.
Even in your own organization, different audiences may care
about different things. To create an intranet for Xerox, Cindy
Casselman needed support from a variety of divisions. She had
to persuade her own supervisor to let her work on the project. He
said “yes” but told her she had to raise the $250,000 herself. She
got the money and the programming talent she needed by show-
ing other managers how they would benefit from the proposed
intranet. The CIO cared about the enormous financial investment
the company had already made in its computer infrastructure. She
told him that the intranet would put content there. The director
of education and training cared about learning at Xerox. Cindy
pointed out that the intranet would provide a place for learning to
happen. She raised the $250,000 by showing people how her idea
would benefit the aspects of the company they cared most about.
Internet banking customers may expect different benefits
than ones for traditional brick-and-mortar banks. No lines, bet-
ter interest rates, and 24-hour banking from home can attract
web-friendly customers. Brick-and-mortar bank customers
expect convenient ATMs, local branches, and other amenities,
as well as less risk of fraud or theft. With many bank customers
today having multiple credit cards and bank accounts, keeping
track of where all the money goes can be challenging, too. PNC
launched Virtual Wallet, an online service that presents account
information tied to a calendar. If the account is close to an over-
draft, a red “danger day” appears. The service can automati-
cally move money from one account to another if the customer
has yet to catch the problem.
Sources: Ben Feller, “Manhunt: Schools Try to Attract More Male Teachers,” Augusta Chronicle, July 29, 2005, downloaded at http:// chronicle.augusta.com/stories/073105/bac_A0583.3.shtml ; Ian Grayson,
“Alumni Travel a Two-Way Street,” August 17, 2005, downloaded at www.
cnn.com/2005/BUSINESS/08/15/execed.alumni/index.html ; Michael
Warshaw, “The Good Guy’s and Gal’s Guide to Office Politics,” Fast Company, April–May 1998, 156–78; and Laura Rowley, “Five Secrets Your Bank Doesn’t Want You to Know,” August 5, 2009, http://finance.
yahoo.com/expert/article/moneyhappy/181074 .
Building a Critical Skill
Matching the Benefit to the Audience LO 8-5
When Beth Blake came up empty-handed in her search for a
bridesmaid dress, she and designer friend Sophie Simmons
teamed up to create one instead. The results of their bridal
project created such a stir at the wedding that they decided
to launch their own business. Their company, Thread, offers
fashionable bridesmaid dresses that can be worn beyond the
wedding. The seven-year-old company that was started with
$100,000 now boasts millions in revenue, a celebrity clientele,
and three boutiques.
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 119loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 119 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
120 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
If the logic is sound, making that logic evident to the reader is a matter of providing
enough evidence and showing how the evidence proves the claim that there will be a ben-
efit. Always provide enough detail to be vivid and concrete. You’ll need more detail in the
following situations:
• The reader may not have thought of the benefit before.
• The benefit depends on the difference between the long run and the short run.
• The reader will be hard to persuade, and you need detail to make the benefit vivid and
emotionally convincing.
Does the following statement have enough detail?
You will benefit if the company saves money.
Readers always believe their own experience.
Many readers will know that they didn’t get bonuses
even during a year that the company did well. In addi-
tion to bonuses for top executives, companies could
use profits to pay higher dividends to shareholders, to
retire debt, or to increase research and development
spending. Even spending money on upgrading com-
puters or remodeling the employee lounge may not
seem like a strong benefit to some workers. Instead,
you’ll need to show that money saved will go into one or more specific programs that will
benefit employees directly or indirectly. The more indirect the benefit is, the more proof
you’ll need.
What else do reader benefits need? LO 8-6
▶ Check for you-attitude.
If reader benefits aren’t in you-attitude (◀◀ p. 90), they’ll sound selfish and won’t be as effective as they could be. A Xerox letter selling copiers with strong you-attitude as well as
reader benefits got a far bigger response than did an alternate version with reader benefits
but no you-attitude. 9 It doesn’t matter how you phrase reader benefits while you’re brain-
storming and developing them, but in your final draft, edit for you-attitude.
Lacks you-attitude: We have the lowest prices in town. You-attitude: At Havlichek Cars, you get the best deal in town.
Some benefits come long after
the product has been conceived.
Marcelle Shriver, whose soldier
son wrote of how Silly String can
help troops find bomb trip wires in
Iraq, worked with Thom Campbell,
one of the founders of a shipping
company, to get 80,000 cans sent
to U.S. forces.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Expectancy theory says most people try to do their best only when they believe they can succeed and when they want the
rewards that success brings. (LO 8-1) • Good reader benefits are adapted to the audience, based on
intrinsic rather than extrinsic advantages, supported by clear
logic and explained in adequate detail, and phrased in you-atti-
tude. Extrinsic benefits simply aren’t available to reward every
desired behavior; further, they reduce the satisfaction in doing
something for its own sake. (LO 8-2) • To create reader benefits,
1. Identify the feelings, fears, and needs that may motivate
your reader.
2. Show how the reader can meet his or her needs with the fea-
tures of the policy or product.
• Psychological description means creating a scenario rich with sense impressions—what the reader sees, hears, smells, tastes,
feels—so readers can picture themselves using your product or
service and enjoying its benefits. (LO 8-3) • Brainstorm twice as many reader benefits as you’ll need for a
message. (LO 8-4) 1. Use at least one benefit for each part of your audience.
2. Use intrinsic benefits.
3. Use the benefits you can develop most fully.
• When you communicate with different audiences, you may
need to stress different benefits. (LO 8-5) • Make sure reader benefits are phrased in you-attitude. (LO 8-6)
Source: Joanna Pearl Steinemail, “Why We Lie, Go to Prison
and Eat Cake,” Wired, June
22, 2012, http://www.wired.
com/business/2012/06/
why-we-lie-cheat-go-to-
prison-and-eat-chocolate-cake-10-
questions-with-dan-ariely/ .
(continued)
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 120loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 120 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
Module 8 Reader Benefits 121
Assignments for Module 8
8.1 What are reader benefits? (LO 8-1)
8.2 In a message with reader benefits, how many different benefits should you use? (LO 8-2)
8.3 What is psychological description? (LO 8-2)
8.4 What is the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic reader benefits? Which are better? Why? (LO 8-3)
Questions for Comprehension
8.5 How do reader benefits help you achieve your goals? (LO 8-1)
8.6 Why do reader benefits need to be in you-attitude? (LO 8-3)
8.7 If you are writing to multiple audiences with different needs, should you include all the reader benefits you can
think of in the message? (LO 8-3)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Listed here are several things an organization might like its employees to do.
1. Go “green.”
2. Give up smoking.
3. Conserve using office supplies.
4. Car pool with other employees.
5. Participate in a cancer charity walk.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Identify the motives or needs that might be met by each
of the activities.
b. Develop each need or motive as a reader benefit in
a full paragraph. Use additional paragraphs for the
other needs met by the activity. Remember to use
you-attitude!
Exercises and Problems
8.8 Identifying and Developing Reader Benefits (LO 8-1, LO 8-2)
8.9 Identifying Objections and Reader Benefits (LO 8-1 to LO 8-3)
8.10 Identifying and Developing Reader Benefits for Different Audiences (LO 8-1 to LO 8-3)
Think of an organization you know something about, and answer the following questions for it.
1. Your college wants to install cameras in public areas around
campus and to require that students use swipe cards to
enter campus buildings after 5 p.m. What objections might
people have? What benefits would the campus community
receive? Which people would be easiest to convince?
2. Your organization is considering posting the names of
employees who contribute to the annual charity fund-
raiser on its web page. What objections might people
have? What benefits might your organization receive?
Which people would be easiest to convince?
3. Your local recreation department is considering ask-
ing for a 3-mill levy to provide for upgraded parks and
summer camp programs. What objections might peo-
ple have? What benefits would such a program offer?
Which people would be easiest to convince?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your answers orally with a small group of
students.
b. Present your answers in an oral presentation to the class.
c. E-mail your answers to class members.
d. Write a paragraph developing the best reader benefit
you identified. Remember to use you-attitude.
Assume that you want to encourage people to do one of the following activities:
1. Having a personal trainer
Audiences: Professional athletes Busy managers Someone trying to lose weight Someone making a major lifestyle change after a heart attack
2. Using public transportation
Audiences: People who must travel throughout the
city for their job
People who have children in day care
People who live in the suburbs
3. Getting advice about refinancing a home mortgage
Audiences: Investors
Empty nesters
Potential retirees
Single professionals
Parents looking to finance a child’s
education
4. Getting advice on retirement strategies
Audiences: Young adults entering the workforce
People earning less than $50,000 annually
People planning to attend graduate or
professional school, such as law school
Parents with small children
People within 10 years of retirement
5. Eating organic foods
Audiences: Upscale shoppers
People on tight budgets People with small children Supporters of local farming
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 121loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 121 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
122 Unit Two Creating Goodwill
People concerned with soil conservation
People concerned with reducing pesticides
6. Buying an HDTV
Audiences: College students
Sports aficionados
Residence hall managers
Tavern and restaurant owners
Trade show display salespeople
7. Teaching adults to read
Audiences: Retired workers
Businesspeople
Students who want to become teachers
High school and college students
People concerned about poverty
8. Attending college or graduate school
Audiences: Recent high school graduates
Retirees
Working professionals
Single parents
Wealthy people
Entrepreneurs
9. Attending a fantasy sports camp (you pick the sport),
playing with and against retired players who provide
coaching and advice
10. Taking a cruise, where passengers have all meals
included but must pay for tips, drinks, airfare, and off-
ship excursions
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Identify needs that you could meet for the audiences
listed here. In addition to needs that several audiences
share, identify at least one need that would be particu-
larly important to each group.
b. Identify a product or service that could meet each need.
c. Write a paragraph or two of reader benefits for each
product or service. Remember to use you-attitude.
d. Develop one or more of the benefits using psychological
description.
Hints:
• For this assignment, you can combine benefits or pro-
grams as if a single source offered them all.
• Add specific details about particular sports, cities,
tourist attractions, activities, etc., as material for your
description.
• Be sure to move beyond reader benefits to vivid details
and sense impressions.
• Put your benefits in you-attitude.
Singular possessives and plurals sound the same but are spelled dif-
ferently. A possessive noun will always have an apostrophe. Most
possessives of singular nouns are formed by adding ’s to the word.
Singular Possessive Plural company’s companies
computer’s computers
family’s families
job’s jobs
manager’s managers
team’s teams
Because singular possessive nouns and plurals sound the same,
you will have to look at the logic of your sentence to choose the
right word.
Exercises
Choose the right word in each set of brackets.
1. Dean told us that his [customers/customer’s] expect excellent
service—even if that means going above and beyond, such as
working past quitting time.
2. [Stakeholders/Stakeholder’s] believe in a company for many
reasons, but generally a solid business plan helps to build
their confidence.
3. The [printers/printer’s] toner cartridge is jammed, so someone
will need to take a look at it.
4. Since we have a [weeks/week’s] worth of work left to do, we
should get started as soon as possible.
5. Cassandra emerged from the meeting with a big smile and
said, “The [ayes/aye’s] have it!”
6. We learned from Jack that [supervisors/supervisor’s] will be
expected to complete daily progress reports now in addition to
their weekly ones.
7. Because our pool [cars/car’s] are expensive to maintain, we’re
thinking of using [rentals/rental’s] instead next year.
8. The Public Relations Department noted that public [opinions/
opinion’s] can change according to how effective a [compa-
nies/company’s] media strategy is.
9. When reviewing her [teams/team’s] progress, Martina found
that many [efforts/effort’s] in 2012 paid off.
10. Because a [memos/memo’s] purpose should be clear, the sub-
ject [lines/line’s] content is very important.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Plurals and Possessives
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 122loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 122 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
Module 8 Reader Benefits 123
Unit 2 Cases for Communicators
Keep on Reading with Us
In December 2011, The New York Times, one of the nation’s oldest and most respected newspapers, had to scramble to recover from an
e-mail message mistakenly sent out that promised a 50% discount
for 16 weeks on a subscription. The offer had been intended only
for a few hundred people who had recently cancelled subscriptions
but was instead sent to 8.6 million e-mail addresses.
Shortly after, the Times tweeted: “If you received an e-mail today about cancelling your NYT subscription, ignore it. It’s not
from us.” Of course, the newspaper did send the original e-mail
message.
Damage from the error included many people calling or writing
in to take advantage of the offer, including some who already had
a subscription but threatened to cancel unless the deal was hon-
ored. The Times did initially honor the discount, but later that day stopped giving out discounts. The results included angry customers
and a parody Twitter account poking fun at the mistake.
Individual Activity
Imagine you are in the Marketing Department of The New York Times and you have been selected to work on its campaign to regain subscriber confidence. The Times knows it has a strong product with a long history of satisfied readers. However, company execu-
tives fear that some subscribers may avoid renewing their subscrip-
tions in the future, especially those subscribers who weren’t able to
take advantage of the erroneous e-mail offer. In addition, potential
new subscribers may have been scared off by the negative publicity
surrounding the debacle.
To achieve its goal, the Marketing Department has decided to
e-mail a different offer to these customers. The company will use
the e-mail addresses already in its database for renewals but will
pay for additional e-mail addresses for potential customers. The
e-mail message, tailored to each customer group, will only be sent
to those customers who did not renew with the previous offer.
Subscribers will receive the following benefits:
• A free two-week subscription to its home-delivered print edi-
tion, along with a collectible holiday edition to anyone who
chooses to start or renew a subscription for three months.
• A free four-week subscription to its home-delivered print edi-
tion, along with a collectible holiday edition and a free Times coffee mug to anyone who chooses to start or renew a subscrip-
tion for six months.
• For either subscription, readers will get access to premium fea-
tures in the online version of the Times (The online version is
free but provides limited access to stories and other features,
such as a searchable database of older articles.)
While an e-mail message will go out to all of the customers
affected, the Times would like to segment the e-mail messages for subscribers more likely to respond to one offer versus the other. To
identify them, consider the following questions:
• What intrinsic and extrinsic benefits are inherent in a subscrip-
tion to The New York Times? What might customers gain from these benefits?
• What are the demographic and lifestyle characteristics of poten-
tial customers?
• What needs, feelings, or concerns might be motivating
customers?
• Why would customers pay for a print edition of The New York Times when a lot of the same information can be found free at the newspaper’s website?
Identify as many different potential customer groups as you can
think of, noting at least one intrinsic and one extrinsic benefit that
each group can expect from purchasing a Times subscription. Give enough detail in your customer descriptions so that the
Marketing Department can use the information to guide its choice
of appeals to customers.
Group Activity
Combine the results of your list with those of your classmates to
generate a comprehensive list of customers and benefits. Then, as a
group, select five customer groups on which to focus. Identify the
benefits that will be in the e-mail message to potential subscribers
and develop these benefits using psychological description.
Think of how the e-mail message will convince potential cus-
tomers they should purchase your company’s products.
Write the e-mail message: Be sure to:
• Include at least one intrinsic and one extrinsic benefit for each
customer group.
• Justify negative information, focusing on what the reader can
do rather than on limitations.
• Omit unnecessary negative information.
• Use you-attitude.
• Talk about the reader, not the company.
Source: “NY Times Offers Discounts in Mistaken E-Mail Gaffe,” December 28, 2011, http://finance.yahoo.com/news/nytimes-offers-
discounts-mistaken-email-gaffe-224635047.html .
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 123loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 123 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 124loc03261_ch08_112-124.indd 124 19/12/12 8:52 PM19/12/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos
Module 11 Negative Messages Module 12 Persuasive Messages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology
3 Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 125loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 125 17/12/12 11:49 AM17/12/12 11:49 AM
Confirming pages
126
Formats for Letters and Memos
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
L etters normally go to people outside your organization; memos go to other people in your orga-
nization. In very large organizations, corporate culture determines whether people in different
divisions or different locations feel close enough to each other to write memos.
Letters and memos do not necessarily differ in length, formality, writing style, or pattern of organi-
zation. However, letters and memos do differ in format. Format means the parts of a document and
the way they are arranged on the page.
Short reports use letter or memo format (▶▶ Module 23). Long reports can use the formal format
illustrated in Module 24. If your organization has its own formats for letters and memos, use them.
Otherwise, choose one of the formats in this module. See Module 13 for e-mail formats.
LO 9-1 Apply principles for correct letter formats.
LO 9-2 Apply strategies for professional image creation with documents and
beyond.
LO 9-3 Recognize courtesy titles for correspondence.
LO 9-4 Apply principles for correct memo formats.
Module 9 details the most common formats for business letters and memos. After completing the
module, you should be able to
Module
9
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 126loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 126 17/12/12 11:49 AM17/12/12 11:49 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 127
How should I set up letters? LO 9-1
▶ Use block or modified block format.
The two most common letter formats are block , sometimes called full block (see Figure 9.2 ), and modified block (see Figure 9.3 ). Your organization may make minor changes from the diagrams in margins or spacing.
Figure 9.1 shows how the formats differ.
Use the same level of formality in the salutation , or greeting, as you would in talking to someone on the phone: Dear Glenn if you’re on a first-name basis, Dear Mr. Helms if you don’t know the reader well enough to use the first name.
Sincerely and Cordially are standard complimentary closes . When you are writing to people in special groups or to someone who is a friend as well as a business acquaintance,
you may want to use a less formal close. Depending on the circumstances, the follow-
ing informal closes might be acceptable: Yours for a better environment, or even Ciao or Thanks.
In mixed punctuation , a colon follows the salutation and a comma follows the close. In a sales or fund-raising letter, it is acceptable to use a comma after the salutation to make
the letter look like a personal letter rather than like a business letter. Most organizations use
mixed punctuation. A few organizations use open punctuation, which is faster to type. In
open punctuation , omit all punctuation after the salutation and the close. A subject line tells what the letter is about. Subject lines are required in memos; they
are optional in letters. Good subject lines are specific, concise, and appropriate for your
purposes and the response you expect from your reader.
• When you have good news, put it in the subject line.
• When your information is neutral, summarize it concisely in the subject line.
• When your information is negative, use a negative subject line if the reader may not
read the message or needs the information to act, or if the negative is your error.
• When you have a request that will be easy for the reader to grant, put either the subject
of the request or a direct question in the subject line.
• When you must persuade a reluctant reader, use a common ground, a reader benefit, or
a directed subject line (▶▶ Module 12) that makes your stance on the issue clear.
For examples of subject lines in each of these situations, see Modules 10, 11, and 12.
A reference line refers the reader to the number used on the previous correspondence this letter replies to, or the order or invoice number which this letter is about. Very large
organizations, such as the IRS, use numbers on every piece of correspondence they send
out so that it is possible to quickly find the earlier document to which an incoming letter
refers.
Both formats can use headings, lists, and indented sections for emphasis.
Each format has advantages. Block format is the format most frequently used for busi-
ness letters; readers expect it; it can be typed quickly because everything is lined up at the
With cloud technology
becoming more popular for
document storage, care must
be taken to ensure formats
remain. For instance, Google
Drive, a cloud service that
also features a custom word
processor, Google Docs,
allows up to five gigabytes of
free file storage, but if you use
Microsoft Word, you will only
be able to view documents
there unless you convert
the document. Each system
may have its idiosyncrasies,
and whether using Dropbox,
SugarSync, Google Drive,
or Microsoft’s SkyDrive, care
must be taken to know how
document formats might be
affected.
Source: Walter Mossberg, “Google Stores, Syncs, Edits in the Cloud,”
The Wall Street Journal, April 25,
2012, http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB10001424052702303459004577
362111867730108.html?
KEYWORDS 5 document 1 format .
Site to See
Go to
http://www.englishspanish link.com/deluxewriter/ letterlayoutspanlet.htm
to see how business letters
can be formatted for readers of
Spanish.
Go to
Figure 9.1 Differences between Letter Formats
Block Modified Block
Date and signature block Lined up at left margin Lined up or over to the right
Paragraph indentation None Optional
Subject line Optional Rare
1 2
2 3
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 127loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 127 17/12/12 11:49 AM17/12/12 11:49 AM
Confirming pages
128 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Figure 9.2 Block Format on Letterhead (mixed punctuation; collection letter)
June 20, 2013
Mr. James E. Murphy, Accounts Payable Salt Lake Equipment Rentals 5600 Wasatch Boulevard Salt Lake City, Utah 84121
Dear Jim:
The following items totaling $393.09 are still open on your account.
Invoice #01R-784391
After the bill for this invoice arrived on May 14, you wrote saying that the material had not been delivered to you. On May 29, our Claims Department sent you a copy of the delivery receipt signed by an employee of Salt Lake Equipment. You have had proof of delivery for over three weeks, but your payment has not yet arrived.
Please send a check for $78.42.
Voucher #59351
The reference line on your voucher #59351, dated June 11, indicates that it is the gross payment for invoice #01G-002345. However, the voucher was only for $1171.25, while the invoice amount was $1246.37. Please send a check for $75.12 to clear this item.
Voucher #55032
Voucher #55032, dated June 15, subtracts a credit for $239.55 from the amount due. Our records do not show that any credit is due on this voucher. Please send either an explanation or a check to cover the $239.55 immediately.
Total Amount Due
Please send a check for $393.09 to cover these three items and to bring your account up to date.
Sincerely,
Neil Hutchinson Credit Representative
cc: Joan Stottlemyer , Credit Manager
Line up everything at left margin.
2–6 spaces depending on length of letter.
Title could be on a separate line.
1"–1 "1–2
5 – 8
Use first name in salutation if you’d use it on the phone.
Colon in mixed punctuation
¶ 1 never has a heading.
Bold heading
" – 1"
Single-space paragraphs. Double-space between paragraphs.
Triple-space before new heading.
Do not indent paragraphs.
Headings are optional in letters.
2–3 spaces
3–4 spaces
Leav e bottom margin of 3–6 spaces—
mor e if letter is short.
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 128loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 128 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 129
left margin. Modified block format creates a visually attractive page by moving the date
and signature block over into what would otherwise be empty white space. Modified block
is a traditional format; readers are comfortable with it.
The examples of the formats in Figures 9.2 and 9.3 show one-page letters on com-
pany letterhead. Letterhead is preprinted stationery with the organization’s name, logo,
Figure 9.3 Modified Block Format on Letterhead (mixed punctuation; letter of recommendation)
1"–1 "
September 14, 2012
Ms. Mary E. Arcas Personnel Director Cyclops Communication Technologies 1050 South Sierra Bonita Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90019
Dear Ms. Arcas:
Sincerely,
Jeanne Cederlind Vice President, Marketing
Encl.: Evaluation Form for Colleen Kangas
2–6 spaces
2–4 spaces Line up date with signature block
or of the way over to the right.
Zip code on same line
Colon in mixed punctuation
Indenting ¶ is optional in modified block.
Single-space par agraphs.
Double-space between par agraphs.
Headings are optional in letters.
2–3 spaces
2–4 spaces
3–4 spaces
Comma in mixed punctuation
Leave at least 3–6 spaces at bottom of page—more if letter is short.
Line up signature block with date.
" - 1" Let me respond to your request for an evaluation of Colleen Kangas. Colleen was hired as
a clerk-typist by Bay City Information Systems on April 4, 2008, and was promoted to Administrative Assistant the following August. At her review in June, I recommended that she be promoted again. She is intelligent with good work habits and a good knowledge of computer software.
As an Administrative Assistant, Colleen not only handles routine duties such as processing time cards, ordering supplies, and entering data, but also screens calls for two marketing specialists, answers basic questions about Bay City Information Systems, compiles the statistics I need for my monthly reports, and investigates special assignments for me. In the past eight months, she has investigated freight charges, phone systems, and firewalls. I need only to give her general directions: she has a knack for tracking down information quickly and summarizing it accurately.
Although the department’s workload has increased during the year, Colleen manages her time so that everything gets done on schedule. She is consistently poised and friendly under pressure. Her willingness to work overtime on occasion is particularly remarkable considering that she has been going to college part-time ever since she joined our firm.
At Bay City Information Systems, Colleen uses Microsoft Word and Access software. She tells me that she has also used WordPerfect and PowerPoint in her college classes.
If Colleen were staying in San Francisco, we would want to keep her. She has the potential either to become an Executive Secretary or to move into line or staff work, especially once she completes her degree. I recommend her highly.
1 2
151 Bayview Road
San Francisco, CA 81153
2 – 3
1 – 2
5 – 8
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 129loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 129 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
130
address, and phone number. Figure 9.4 shows how to set up modified block format
when you do not have letterhead. (It is also acceptable to use block format without
letterhead.)
When your letter runs two or more pages, use a heading on the second page to iden-
tify it. Putting the reader’s name in the heading helps the writer, who may be printing out
Creating a Professional Image, 1 LO 9-2
Building a Critical Skill
The way you and your documents look affects the way peo-
ple respond to you and to them. Every organization has a
dress code. One young man was upset when an older man
told him he should wear wing-tip shoes. He was wearing
leather shoes but not the kind that said “I’m promotable” in
that workplace. Dress codes are rarely spelled out; the older
worker was doing the young man a favor by being direct. If
you have a mentor in the organization, ask him or her if there
are other ways you can make your appearance even more
professional. If you don’t have a mentor, look at the people
who rank above you. Notice clothing, jewelry, and hairstyles.
If you’re on a budget, go to stores that sell expensive clothing
to check the kind of buttons, the texture and colors of fabric,
and the width of lapels and belts. Then go to stores in your
price range and choose garments that imitate the details of
expensive clothing.
On casual days, wear clothes in good repair that are one or
two “notches” below what you’d wear on other days. If suits
are the norm, choose blazers and slacks or skirts. If blazers
and slacks or skirts are the norm, choose sweaters or knit sport
shirts; khakis, simple skirts, or dressier jeans; or simple dresses.
Wear good shoes and always be well groomed. Avoid anything
that’s ill-fitting or revealing.
Too many photographs, knickknacks, and posters can
make you seem frivolous. Avoid offensive photos, slogans,
or screensavers. One local government supervisor, known
for being strict, put a poster of Adolf Hitler on his door to
make light of his reputation. He so offended others that he
lost his job.
If you’re allowed to listen to music, keep the volume at a
reasonable level, and tune out “shock jocks,” whose coarse
language and offensive stereotypes may alienate people. Wear
headphones if your organization allows it.
Computer game playing and personal web surfing and
e-mailing are best done on your own time. Keep your voice-mail
message succinct and professional—find out what co-workers
say in theirs.
Organize your desk by filing papers and keeping stacks to a
minimum. Purge unneeded materials, and store food elsewhere.
Clean regularly. Water your plants. While a messy desk can be
charming to some co-workers, others find it a distraction. Some
experts even suggest excessive clutter and disorganization may
be a sign of depression or a brain injury.
While most people wouldn’t shout across an office, many
of us are louder than we think when we’re excited or happy—
monitor your volume. Keep personal conversations to a mini-
mum, in person and on the phone.
Rules for documents, like rules for clothing, are sometimes
unwritten. To make your document look professional,
• Use good visual impact (◀◀ Module 5). • Edit and proofread to eliminate errors and typos
(▶▶ Modules 14 and 15). • Make sure the ink or toner is printing evenly.
• Use a standard format.
Know your organizational culture. When in doubt, follow
the lead of someone the organization respects.
Source: Tara Parker-Pope, “A Clutter Too Deep for Mere Bins and Shelves,” The Wall Street Journal, January 1, 2008, downloaded at http:// online.wsj.com/public/article/SB119940267392266173-r6vgPqwm_F_
R4GXRfeoBN_ObjoA_20080202.html?mod 5 tff_main_tff_top .
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 130loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 130 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 131
many letters at a time, to make sure the right second page gets in the envelope. Even when
the signature block is on the second page, it is still lined up with the date.
Reader’s Name
Date
Page Number
Figure 9.4 Modified Block Format without Letterhead (open punctuation; claim letter)
Mr. Tom Miller, President Miller Office Supplies Corporation P.O. Box 2900 Lincolnshire, IL 60197-2900
Subject: Invoice No. 664907, 10/29/12
Dear Mr. Miller
My wife, Caroline Lehman, ordered and received the briefcase listed on page 71 of your catalog (881-CD-L-9Q-4). The catalog said that the Leatherizer, 881-P-4, was free. On the order blank she indicated that she did want the Leatherizer and marked "Free" in the space for price.
Nevertheless, the bill charged us for the Leatherizer.
Please remove the $3.19 charge for the Leatherizer from our bill. The total bill was for $107.53, and with the $3.19 deducted, I assume the correct amount for the bill should be $104.34. I have enclosed a check for $104.34.
Please confirm that the charge has been removed and that our account for this order is now paid in full.
Sincerely
William T. Mozing
Encl.: Check for $104.34
1"–1 " 2 – 6 spaces
11408 Brussels Ave. NE Albuquerque, NM 87111 November 5, 2012
6 – 12 spaces (1" – 2")
Single space
Subject line is optional in block & modified block.
No punctuation in open punctuation
Indenting paragraphs is optional in modified block.
" – 1"
No punctuation in open punctuation
3 - 4 spaces
2 – 4 spaces
Line up signature block with date.
1 2
5 8
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 131loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 131 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
132 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
or
Reader’s Name Page Number Date
Use the format your reader expects.
Peanuts © United Feature Syndicate, Inc.
When a letter runs two or more pages, use letterhead only for page 1. (See Figures 9.5
and 9.6 .) For the remaining pages, use plain paper that matches the letterhead in weight,
texture, and color.
Set side margins of 10 to 112 ″ on the left and to 5 8 ″ to 10 on the right. If your letterhead
extends all the way across the top of the page, set your margins even with the ends of the
letterhead for the most visually pleasing page. The top margin should be three to six lines
under the letterhead, or 20 down from the top of the page if you aren’t using letterhead. If
your letter is very short, you may want to use bigger side and top margins so that the letter
is centered on the page.
Many letters are accompanied by other documents. Whatever these documents may
be—a multipage report or a two-line note—they are called enclosures, because they are enclosed in the envelope. The writer should refer to the enclosures in the body of the letter:
“As you can see from my résumé, . . .” The enclosure line is usually abbreviated: Encl. (see Figure 9.3 ). The abbreviation reminds the person who seals the letter to include the
enclosure(s).
Sometimes you write to one person but send copies of your letter to other people. If
you want the reader to know that other people are getting copies, list their names on the
last page. The abbreviation cc originally meant carbon copy but now means computer copy. Other acceptable abbreviations include pc for photocopy or simply c for copy. You can also send copies to other people without telling the reader. Such copies are called
blind copies . Blind copies are not mentioned on the original; they are listed on the copy saved for the file with the abbreviation bc preceding the names of people getting these copies.
You do not need to indicate that you have shown a letter to your superior or that you are
saving a copy of the letter for your own files. These are standard practices.
States with names of more than five letters are frequently abbreviated in letters and
memos. The U.S. Postal Service abbreviations use two capital letters with no punctuation.
See Figure 9.7 .
What courtesy titles should I use? LO 9-3
▶ Use “Ms.” unless a woman has a professional title or prefers a traditional title. Use “Mr.” unless a man has a professional title.
Letters require courtesy titles in the salutation unless you’re on a first-name basis with your reader. Use the first name only if you’d use it in talking to the person on the phone.
The days of the dead letter
office have changed significantly
since Herman Melville wrote
of his depressed scrivener,
Bartleby. To increase the
chances a letter stays out of the
shredder, U.S. Postal Service
workers use sophisticated
document scanners to decipher
the worst handwriting on
envelopes. While some names
and addresses are hopelessly
indecipherable, the technology
tries to salvage as many
letters as possible—more than
714 million such letters were
scanned in one year alone.
Source: Barry Newman, “Poor Penmanship Spells Job Security for
Post Office’s Scribble Specialists,”
The Wall Street Journal, November 3,
2011, http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB1000142405297020439480457
7012122145910692.html .
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 132loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 132 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 133
Figure 9.5 Second Page of a Two-Page Letter, Block Format (mixed punctuation; informative letter)
State University
Midland, TX 77208
August 10, 2013
Ms. Stephanie Voght Stephen F. Austin High School 1200 Southwest Blvd. San Antonio, TX 78214
Dear Ms. Voght:
Enclosed are 100 brochures about State University to distribute to your students. The brochures describe the academic programs and financial aid available. When you need additional brochures, just let me know.
Videotape about State University
You may also want to show your students the videotape “Life at State University.” This 45-
1"–1 "
2 – 3 spaces Colon in mixed punctuation.
1 8 9
0
1
1 7
Ye ars
of Excellen ce
2 0
0 7
Stat e U n i v e r sit
y
Stephanie Voght 2 August 10, 2013
campus life, including football and basketball games, fraternities and sororities, clubs and organizations, and opportunities for volunteer work. The tape stresses the diversity of the student body and the very different lifestyles that are available at State.
Scheduling the Videotape
To schedule your free showing, just fill out the enclosed card with your first, second, and third choices for dates, and return it in the stamped, self-addressed envelope. Dates are reserved in the order that requests arrive. Send in your request early to increase the chances of getting the date you want.
“Life at State University” will be on its way to give your high school students a preview of the college experience.
Sincerely,
Michael L. Mahler Director of Admissions
Encl.: Brochures, Reservation Form
cc: R. J. Holland, School Superintendent Jose Lavilla, President, PTS Association
Plain paper for page 2.
" – 1"
Reader’s name
Center
Also OK to line up page number, date at left under reader’s name.
Triple space before each new heading.
Same margins as p 1.
Bold headings.
Headings are optional in letters.
Comma in mixed punctuation.
3 – 4 spaces
2 – 4 spaces
1 2
1 2
" – 1"58
4300 Gateway Boulevard
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 133loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 133 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
134 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Figure 9.6 Second Page of a Two-Page Letter, Modified Block Format (mixed punctuation; goodwill letter)
November 8, 2012
Mr. Roger B. Castino Castino Floors and Carpets 418 E. North Street Brockton, MA 02410
Dear Mr. Castino:
Welcome to the team of Glenarvon Carpet dealers!
2 – 4 spaces Line up date with signature block.
Indenting par agraphs is optional in modified block.
1500 Summit Avenue Minneapolis, MN 55401
(612) 555-1002 Fax (612) 555-4032
Mr. Roger B. Castino 2 November 8, 2012
territory. In addition, as a dealer you receive
* Sales kit highlighting product features * Samples to distribute to customers * Advertising copy to run in local newspapers * Display units to place in your store.
The Annual Sales Meeting each January keeps you up-to-date on new products while you get to know other dealers and Glenarvon executives and relax at a resort hotel.
Make your reservations now for Monterey January 10-13 for your first Glenarvon Sales Meeting!
Cordially,
Barbara S. Charbonneau Vice President, Marketing
Encl.: Organization Chart Product List National Advertising Campaigns in 2013
cc: Nancy Magill, Northeast Sales Manager Edward Spaulding, Sales Representative
Plain paper for page 2 " –
1"
Reader’s name
Indent or center list to emphasize it.
Use same margins as p 1.
Line up signature block with date in heading and on p 1.
Comma in mixed punctuation.
3 – 4 spaces
1 – 4 spaces
3 – 6 spaces — more if second page isn’t a full page.
1 – 4 spaces
Center
Your first shipment of Glenarvon samples should reach you within ten days. The samples include new shades in a variety of weights. With Glenarvon Carpets, your customers can choose matching colors in heavy-duty weights for high-traffic areas and lighter, less expensive weights for less-used rooms.
1 – 2
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 134loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 134 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 135
Figure 9.7 Postal Service Abbreviations for States, Territories, and Provinces
State Name
Postal Service
Abbreviation State Name
Postal Service
Abbreviation
Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
District of Columbia
Florida
Georgia
Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachusetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
AL
AK
AZ
AR
CA
CO
CT
DE
DC
FL
GA
HI
ID
IL
IN
IA
KS
KY
LA
ME
MD
MA
MI
MN
MS
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming
MO
MT
NE
NV
NH
NJ
NM
NY
NC
ND
OH
OK
OR
PA
RI
SC
SD
TN
TX
UT
VT
VA
WA
WV
WI
WY
Territory
Postal Service
Abbreviation Province Name
Postal Service
Abbreviation
Guam
Puerto Rico
Virgin Islands
GU
PR
VI
Alberta
British Columbia
Labrador
Manitoba
New Brunswick
Newfoundland
Northwest Territories
Nova Scotia
Ontario
Prince Edward Island
Quebec
Saskatchewan
Yukon Territory
AB
BC
LB
MB
NB
NF
NT
NS
ON
PE
PQ
SK
YT
Site to See
Go to
www.usps.gov/zip4/ welcome.htm
If you know the address, the
U.S. Post Office page will give
you the ZIP 1 4 code.
Go to
Though written for internal
audiences, memos can
go public—with stunning
consequences. A July 6,
2009, memo was among
75,000 pages of documents
Congressional investigators
scrutinized while investigating
Toyota Motor Corporation’s
recall of cars. At heart were
statements that suggested
company officials had saved
more than $100 million by
replacing floor mats rather than
issuing a more extensive safety
recall.
Source: David Shepardson, “Toyota Disavows Memo Bragging of
Savings by Limiting Recall,” The
Detroit News, February 24, 2010,
downloaded from http://www
.detnews.com/article/20100224/
AUTO01/2240435/1361/Toyota-
disavows-memo-bragging-of-
savings-by-limiting-recall .
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 135loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 135 17/12/12 11:50 AM17/12/12 11:50 AM
Confirming pages
136 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
When You Know the Reader’s Name and Gender
When you know your reader’s name and gender, use courtesy titles that do not indicate
marital status: Mr. for men and Ms. for women. There are, however, two exceptions:
1. Use professional titles when they’re relevant.
Dr. Kristen Sorenson is our new company physician.
The Rev. Robert Townsley gave the invocation.
2. If a woman prefers to be addressed as Mrs. or Miss, use the title she prefers rather than Ms. (You-attitude [◀◀ p. 90] takes precedence over nonsexist language: address the reader as she—or he—prefers to be addressed.)
To find out if a woman prefers a traditional title,
a. Check the signature block in previous correspondence. If a woman types
her name as (Miss) Elaine Anderson or (Mrs.) Kay Royster, use the title she designates.
b. Notice the title a woman uses in introducing herself on the phone. If she says, “This
is Robin Stine,” use Ms. when you write to her. If she says, “I’m Mrs. Stine,” use the title she specifies.
c. Check your company directory. In some organizations, women who prefer tradi-
tional titles can list them with their names.
d. When you’re writing job letters or other crucial correspondence, call the company
and ask the receptionist which title your reader prefers.
Ms. is particularly useful when you do not know what a woman’s marital status is. However, even when you happen to know that a woman is married or single, you still use Ms. unless you know that she prefers another title.
In addition to using parallel courtesy titles, use parallel forms for names.
Not parallel Parallel Members of the committee will be Members of the committee will be
Mr. Jones, Mr. Yacone, and Lisa. Mr. Jones, Mr. Yacone, and Ms. Melton.
or
Members of the committee will be
Irving, Ted, and Lisa.
When You Know the Reader’s Name but Not the Gender
When you know your reader’s name but not the gender, either
1. Call the company and ask the receptionist, or
2. Use the reader’s full name in the salutation:
Dear Chris Crowell:
Dear J. C. Meath:
When You Know Neither the Reader’s Name Nor Gender
When you know neither the reader’s name nor gender, you have three options:
1. Use the reader’s position or job title:
Dear Loan Officer:
Dear Registrar:
Cathy Arnst warns against
resorting to a flurry of corres-
pondence in the workplace
for no reason, especially in
tough economic times. Among
other questionable practices
is a memo at The South Bend
Tribune instructing staff to write
daily “productivity” memos
detailing all of their actions.
Source: Cathy Arnst, “Memo Madness, or, Does Busy Work
Increase Productivity?” Bloomberg
Businessweek, February 2, 2010,
downloaded from http://www
.businessweek.com/careers/
workingparents/blog/archives/
2009/02/memo_mad ness_or.html .
Sometimes the contents of a
memo or letter can come back
to haunt the writer. Walmart
Mike Duke sent employees a
memo extolling the company’s
“strong anti-corruption”
programs, even while the
company faced allegations of
paying $24 million in bribes to
Mexican officials since 2005.
Real estate tycoon Tom Barrack
may still regret his 1,700-word
letter to employees celebrating
the important life lessons to be
learned from the Twilight book
series, which he discovered one
night while yachting in Turkey.
Sources: Diane Brady, “Wal-Mart, Avon Execs Should Stop Hiding
Behind Boards,” Bloomberg
BusinessWeek, April 25, 2012,
http://www.businessweek.
com/articles/2012-04-25/
wal-mart-avonexecs-should-
stop-hiding-behind-boards ; and
Anton Troianovski, “Twilight’
Memo: Tom Barrack’s Most
Embarrassing Moment,” The Wall
Street Journal, http://blogs.wsj.
com/developments/2010/11/29/
twilight-memo-tom-barracks-most-
embarrassing-moment .
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 136loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 136 17/12/12 11:51 AM17/12/12 11:51 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 137
2. Use a general group to which your reader belongs:
Dear Investor:
Dear Admissions Committee:
3. Omit the salutation and use a subject line in its place:
Subject: Recommendation for Ben Wandell
How should I set up memos? LO 9-4
▶ The standard memo format mimics block format but has no salutation, close, or signature.
Memos omit both the salutation and the close. Memos never indent paragraphs. Subject
lines are required; headings are optional. Each heading must cover all the information until
the next heading. Never use a separate heading for the first paragraph.
Figure 9.8 illustrates the standard memo format typed on a plain sheet of paper. Note
that the first letters of the reader’s name, the writer’s name, and the subject phrase are lined
up vertically. Note also that memos are usually initialed by the To/From block. Initialing
tells the reader that you have proofread the memo and prevents someone’s sending out
your name on a memo you did not in fact write.
Some organizations have special letterhead for memos. When Date/To/From/Subject are already printed on the form, the date, writer’s and reader’s names, and subject may be
set at the main margin to save typing time. (See Figure 9.9 .)
Some organizations alter the order of items in the Date/To/From/Subject block. Some organizations ask employees to sign memos rather than simply initialing them. The signa-
ture goes below the last line of the memo, starting halfway over on the page, and prevents
anyone adding unauthorized information.
If the memo runs two pages or more, use a heading at the top of the second and sub-
sequent pages (see Figure 9.10 ). Because many of your memos go to the same people,
putting a brief version of the subject line will be more helpful than just using “All
Employees.”
When Brad Garlinghouse, a
senior vice president at Yahoo
.com, wrote a lengthy message
about the company’s need to
reorganize, he used boldface,
bullet points, and metaphors
to make complex ideas easier
to follow. His Peanut Butter
Manifesto, so-called because
of his description of spreading
resources too thin, ends with
three one-line paragraphs:
So, let’s get back up.
Catch the balls.
And stop eating peanut butter.
Source: “Yahoo Memo: The ‘Peanut Butter Manifesto,’” The
Wall Street Journal, November 18,
2006, downloaded at http://
online.wsj.com/public/article/
SB116379821933826657-
0mbjXoHnQwDMFH_PVeb_
jqe3Chk_20061125.html .
Brief Subject Line
Date
Page Number
Reader’s Name Page Number Date
or
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 137loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 137 17/12/12 11:51 AM17/12/12 11:51 AM
Confirming pages
138 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Figure 9.8 Memo Format (on plain paper; direct request)
October 8, 2012
To: Annette T. Califero
From: Kyle B. Abrams
Subject: A Low-Cost Way to Reduce Energy Use
As you requested, I’ve investigated low-cost ways to reduce our energy use. Reducing the building temperature on weekends is a change that we could make immediately, that would cost nothing, and that would cut our energy use by about 6%.
The Energy Savings from a Lower Weekend Temperature
Lowering the temperature from 68° to 60° from 8 p.m. Friday evening to 4 a.m. Monday morning could cut our total consumption by 6%. It is not feasible to lower the temperature on weeknights because a great many staff members work late; the cleaning crew also is on duty from 6 p.m. to midnight. Turning the temperature down for only four hours would not result in a significant heat saving.
Turning the heat back up at 4 a.m. will allow the building temperature to be back to 68° by 9 a.m. Our furnace already has computerized controls which can be set to automatically lower and raise the temperature.
How a Lower Temperature Would Affect Employees
A survey of employees shows that only 14 people use the building every weekend or almost every weekend. Eighteen percent of our staff have worked at least one weekend day in the last two months; 52% say they “occasionally” come in on weekends.
People who come in for an hour or less on weekends could cope with the lower temperature just by wearing warm clothes. However, most people would find 60° too cool for extended work. Employees who work regularly on weekends might want to install space heaters.
Action Needed to Implement the Change
Would you also like me to check into the cost of buying a dozen portable space heaters? Providing them would allow us to choose units that our wiring can handle and would be a nice gesture toward employees who give up their weekends to work. I could have a report to you in two weeks.
We can begin saving energy immediately. Just authorize the lower temperature, and I’ll see that the controls are reset for this weekend.
Everything lined up at left
2 – 4 spaces
Double–space
1" – 1 "
No heading for ¶ 1
Line up
Plain paper
Writer’s initials added in ink
Capitalize first letter of each major word in subject line.
" – 1"
Triple–space before each new heading. Bold headings.
Single-space paragraphs; double-space between paragraphs.
Triple–space Capitalize first letter of each major word of heading.
Do not indent paragraphs.
Memos are initialed by To/From/Subject block — no signature
Headings are optional in memos.
1 2
5 8
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 138loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 138 17/12/12 11:51 AM17/12/12 11:51 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 139
Figure 9.9 Memo Format (on memo letterhead; good news)
Date:
To:
From:
Subject:
" – 1"
March 15, 2013
Annette T. Califero
Kyle B. Abrams
The Effectiveness of Reducing Building Temperatures on Weekends
Reducing the building temperature to 60˚ on weekends has cut energy use by 4% compared to last year’s use from December to February and has saved our firm $22,000.
This savings is particularly remarkable when you consider that this winter has been colder than last year’s, so that more heat would be needed to maintain the same temperature.
Fewer people have worked weekends during the past three months than during the preceding three months, but snow and bad driving conditions may have had more to do with keeping people home than the fear of being cold. Five of the 12 space heaters we bought have been checked out on an average weekend. On one weekend, all 12 were in use and some people shared their offices so that everyone could be in a room with a space heater.
Fully 92% of our employees support the lower temperature. I recommend that we continue turning down the heat on weekends through the remainder of the heating season and that we resume the practice when the heat is turned on next fall.
Margin lined up with items in To /From / Subject block to save typing time
Writer’s initials added in ink Capitalize first letter of each major word in subject line.
Headings are optional in memos.
Line up horizontally with printed Date/To/Fr om/Subject.
Triple–space
Kimball, Walls, and Morganstern
5 – 8
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 139loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 139 17/12/12 11:51 AM17/12/12 11:51 AM
Confirming pages
140 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Figure 9.10 Option 2 for Page 2 of a Memo (direct request)
February 18, 2013
To: Dorothy N. Blasingham
From: Roger L. Trout
Subject: Request for Second- and Third-Quarter Computer Training Sessions
Could you please run advanced training sessions on using Excel and WordPerfect in April and May and basic training sessions for new hires in June?
Advanced Sessions on Excel
Once the tax season is over, Jose Cisneros wants to have his first- and second-year people take
your advanced course on Excel. Plan on about 45-50 people in three sessions. The
people in the course already use Excel for basic spreadsheets but need to learn the fine
points of macros and charting.
If possible, it would be most convenient to have the sessions run for four afternoons rather than for two full days.
1"–1 "
" – 1"
Writer’s initials added in ink.
Triple–space
Capitalize first letter of each major word in subject line.
Double– space
¶ I never has a heading
Triple–space before a heading
Double- space between paragraphs.
R.L.T.
Bold headings
Dorothy N. Blasingham 2 February 18, 2013
before the summer vacation season begins.
Orientation for New Hires
Request for Confirmation
Let me know whether you’re free on these dates in June, and which dates you’d prefer for the sessions on Excel and WordPerfect. If you’ll let me know by February 25, we can get
information out to participants in plenty of time for the sessions.
Thanks!
Plain paper for page 2
" – 1" Page number
Also OK to line up page number, date at left under reader’s name
Same margins as p 1.
Memos are initialed by To/From/Subject block.
Headings are optional in memos.
Triple-space before a heading.
Capitalize first letter of each major word in heading.
Brief subject line or reader’s name
1 2
5 8
1 2
With a total of 16 full-time and 34 part-time people being hired either for summer or
permanent work, we’ll need at least two and perhaps three orientation sessions. We’d like to
hold these the first, second, and third weeks in June. By May 1, we should know how many
people will be in each training session.
Would you be free to conduct training sessions on how to use our computers on June 8, June
15, and June 22? If we need only two dates, we’ll use June 8 and June 15, but please block off
the 22nd too in case we need a third session.
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 140loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 140 17/12/12 11:51 AM17/12/12 11:51 AM
Confirming pages
Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos 141
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Block and modified block are the two standard letter formats. (LO 9-1)
• Use the same level of formality in the salutation, or greeting, as you would in talking to someone on the phone. (LO 9-1)
• Sincerely and Cordially are standard complimentary closes. (LO 9-1)
• Just as the way your documents look affects how people respond
to you, so does your appearance and behavior. (LO 9-2) • On casual days, wear clothes in good repair that are one or
two “notches” below what you’d wear on other days.
• Avoid displaying too many photographs, knickknacks, and
posters, which can make you seem frivolous.
• Save computer game playing and personal web surfing and
e-mailing for your own time.
• Organize your desk by filing papers and keeping stacks to a
minimum.
• Use Ms. as the courtesy title for a woman, unless she has a professional title, or unless she prefers a traditional title.
(LO 9-3 ) • Use Mr. as the courtesy title for a man, unless he has a profes-
sional title. (LO 9-3) • In a list of several people, use parallel forms for names. Use
either courtesy titles and last names for everyone, or use first
names for everyone. For example, it’s sexist to use “Mr.” for
each man in a document that calls all the women by their first
names. (LO 9-3) • Memos omit both the salutation and the close. Memos never
indent paragraphs. Subject lines are required; headings are
optional. Each heading must cover all the information until
the next heading. Never use a separate heading for the first
paragraph. (LO 9-4)
Assignments for Module 9
9.1 What are the differences between mixed and open punctua- tion? (LO 9-1)
9.2 What are the differences between block and modified block letter formats? (LO 9-1)
9.3 What are the differences between block format for letters and the formats for memos? (LO 9-1, LO 9-4)
9.4 What is the Postal Service abbreviation for your state or province? (LO 9-3)
Questions for Comprehension
9.5 Which letter format do you prefer? Why? (LO 9-1)
9.6 What are the advantages in telling your reader who is getting copies of your message? (LO 9-1)
9.7 Does following a standard format show a lack of originality and creativity? (LO 9-1, LO 9-4)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Make sure the subjects and verbs in your sentences agree. Subjects
and verbs agree when they are both singular or both plural:
Correct: The laser printer no longer works.
Correct: The nonworking laser printers are in the storeroom.
Often, subject–verb errors occur when other words come
between the subject and verb. Learn to correct errors by looking for
the subject—who or what is doing the principal action—and the
verb—the action itself:
Correct: A team of marketing researchers is reviewing our promotional campaign.
Correct: The four-color brochures, which cost about $1,000 to print and ship, were sent to our St. Louis affiliate.
U.S. usage treats company names and the words company and government as singular nouns. In England and countries adopting the British system, these nouns are plural:
Correct: Nationwide Insurance is
(U.S.) headquartered in Columbus, Ohio.
Correct: Lloyds of London are
(U.K.) headquartered in London.
Use a plural verb when two or more singular subjects are joined
by and.
Correct: Mr. Simmens, Ms. Lopez, and Mr. Yee were in Seoul for a meeting last week.
Making Subjects and Verbs Agree
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 141loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 141 17/12/12 11:51 AM17/12/12 11:51 AM
Confirming pages
142 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Use a singular verb when two or more singular subjects are
joined by or, nor, or but. Follow this rule when using neither/nor and either/or combinations. However, when one of the subjects is plural, choose the verb based on the subject nearest the verb.
Correct: Neither Crandall nor the Panzinis want to play on the department’s softball team this year.
Correct: Either the Panzinis or Crandall needs to help keep score.
Correct: Neither Dr. Hroscoe nor Mr. Jamieson is in today.
When the sentence begins with There or Here, make the verb agree with the subject that follows the verb:
Correct: There were blank pages in the fax we received.
Correct: Here is the information on the job candidate you requested.
Some words that end in s are considered singular and require singular verbs:
Correct: The World Series features advertisements of our product in the stadium.
For some nouns, singular and plural forms can be spelled the
same. Examples are data, deer, and fish. Choose a verb based on how you are using the word—singular or plural.
When you encounter situations that don’t seem to fit the rule, or
when following the rules produces an awkward sentence, rewrite
the sentence to avoid the problem:
Problematic: The grant coordinator in addition to the awarding agency (is, are?) happy with the latest proposal
we submitted.
Better: The grant coordinator and the awarding agency are happy with the latest proposal we submitted.
Exercises
Choose the correct verb or rewrite the sentence.
1. My tablet PC’s apps [is/are] truly exceptional.
2. What [is/are] Mainwaring, Inc., employees doing to prepare
for the one-week plant shutdown?
3. We [makes/make] more profit in one week in Asia than in a
whole month in the U.S.
4. Both Colin and Danita [plans/plan] to return to school for an
MBA.
5. Either Ashley or Phillip [needs/need] to submit an expense
report for the team.
6. While the vice president in addition to her staff [is/are] plan-
ning to attend, we have yet to get an actual confirmation.
7. Even though Jill, Marianne, Theodore, and Svetlana
[has/have] traveled extensively, they [is/are] still good candi-
dates for intercultural communication training.
8. Neither Li Xiang nor the DuChamps [intends/intend] to pur-
chase stock until they fully understand how market changes
[affects/affect] performance.
9. There [is/are] many good reasons to start saving early for retire-
ment. The most obvious [is/are] time [is/are] on your side.
10. My glasses [was/were] broken, so I had to ask people to help
me read the fine print; people [was/were] happy to help,
but I [expects/expect] now to always have a spare set in the
future.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 142loc03261_ch09_125-142.indd 142 17/12/12 11:51 AM17/12/12 11:51 AM
Confirming pages
143
Informative and Positive Messages 10
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
W e categorize messages both by the author’s purposes and by the initial response we expect
from the reader. In an informative or positive message, you expect the audience to respond
neutrally to the message or to be pleased. Negatives are minor; they are not the main point of the
message. You must convey information but are not asking the audience to do anything. However, you
may well want the reader to save the information and act on it later on. You usually do want to build
positive attitudes toward the information you are presenting, so in that sense, even an informative
message has a persuasive element.
LO 10-1 Create subject lines for informative and positive messages.
LO 10-2 Apply strategies for informative and positive message organization.
LO 10-3 Identify situations for reader benefits use with informative and
positive messages.
LO 10-4 List common kinds of informative and positive messages.
LO 10-5 Apply strategies for informative and positive message analysis with
PAIBOC.
LO 10-6 Create goodwill endings for informative and positive messages.
Module 10 focuses on helping you write effective informative and positive messages. After
completing the module, you should be able to
Module
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 143loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 143 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
144 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Informative and positive messages include
• Acceptances.
• Positive answers to reader requests.
• Information about procedures, products, services, or options.
• Announcements of policy changes that are neutral or positive.
• Changes that are to the reader’s advantage.
Even a simple informative or good news message usually has several purposes:
Primary Purposes:
• To give information or good news to the reader or to reassure the reader.
• To have the reader read the message, understand it, and view the information positively.
• To deemphasize any negative elements.
Secondary Purposes:
• To build a good image of the writer.
• To build a good image of the writer’s organization.
• To cement a good relationship between the writer and reader.
• To reduce or eliminate future correspondence on the same subject so the message
doesn’t create more work for the writer.
What’s the best subject line for an informative or positive message? LO 10-1
▶ One that contains the basic information or good news.
A subject line is the title of a document. It aids in filing and retrieving the document, tells readers why they need to read the document, and provides a framework in which to set
what you’re about to say.
Subject lines are standard in memos. Letters are not required to have subject lines
(◀◀ Module 9). However, a survey of business people in the Southwest found that 68% of them considered a subject line in a letter to be important, very important, or essential;
only 32% considered subject lines to be unimportant or only somewhat important. 1
A good subject line meets three criteria: it is specific, concise, and appropriate to the
kind of message (positive, negative, persuasive).
Piper Weiss believes that an
out-of-office e-mail reply from
Josh Kopelman is the best
she’s ever seen. The message
announces that he is out of the
office, of course, but goes on to
stress that he and his wife are
on vacation and would prefer to
be left alone, going so far as to
create an e-mail with the moniker
“interruptyourvacation@” should
anyone want to contact him.
The reply preserves goodwill
while emphasizing that Kopelman
is still available if the need to
contact him is important.
Source: Piper Weiss, “The Best Out-of-Office E-Mail Ever Written,
September 2, 2011, http://shine.
yahoo.com/channel/life/the-best-
out-of-office-email-ever-written-
2538155/.
Good news comes in many forms.
MOTHER GOOSE & GRIM © 2010 Grimmy, Inc. Reprinted with permission of King Features Syndicate.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 144loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 144 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 145
Making Subject Lines Specific
The subject line needs to be specific enough to differentiate that message from others on
the same subject, but broad enough to cover everything in the message.
Too general: Training Sessions
To make this general subject line more specific, identify the particular topic of this message.
Better: Dates for 2013 Training Sessions or: Evaluation of Training Sessions on Conducting Interviews or: Should We Schedule a Short Course on Proposal Writing?
Making Subject Lines Concise
Most subject lines are relatively short—usually no more than 10 words, often only
3 to 7 words. 2
Wordy: Survey of Student Preferences in Regards to Various Pizza Factors
Again, the best revision depends on the specific factors you’ll discuss.
Better: Students’ Pizza Preferences or: The Feasibility of a Cassano’s Branch on Campus or: What Students Like and Dislike about Cassano’s Pizza
If you can’t make the subject both specific and short, be specific.
Making Subject Lines Appropriate for the Pattern of Organization
In general, do the same thing in your subject line that you would do in the
first paragraph.
When you have good news for the reader, build goodwill by highlighting it in the
subject line. When your information is neutral, summarize it concisely for the subject line.
Subject: Discount on Rental Cars Effective January 2
Starting January 2, as an employee of Amalgamated Industries you can get a
15% discount on cars you rent for business or personal use from Roadway Rent-a-Car.
Subject: Update on Arrangements for Videoconference with France
In the last month, we have chosen the participants and developed a tentative agenda
for the videoconference with France scheduled for March 21.
How should I organize informative and positive messages? LO 10-2
▶ Put the good news and a summary of the information first.
The patterns of organization in this module and the modules that follow will work for
70% to 90% of the writing situations most people in business, government, and nonprofit
organizations face. Using the appropriate pattern can help you compose more quickly and
create a better final product.
A customer escorted out of
an Alamo Drafthouse movie
theater in Austin, Texas, for
violating the chain’s no-talking/
no-texting policy may have
thought she was getting the
last laugh when she later left
a profanity-laced message on
voice mail, but the joke turned
out to be on her. The company
spliced the rants into a public
service announcement now
shown before each film to
inform rude cell phone users
of the policy. Accordingly, the
uncensored version is shown
only before R-rated films.
Source: Phoebe Connelly, “Texas Movie Theater Makes an Example
(and a PSA) of a Texting Audience
Member,” June 7, 2011, http://news.
yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/
20110607/us_yblog_thelookout/
texas-movie-theater-makes-an-
example-and-a-psa-of-a-texting-
audience-member.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 145loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 145 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
146 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
• Be sure you understand the rationale behind each pattern so that you can modify the
pattern if necessary. (For example, if you write instructions, any warnings should go up
front, not in the middle of the message.)
• Not every message that uses the basic pattern will have all the elements listed. The
elements you do have will go in the order presented in the pattern.
• Sometimes you can present several elements in one paragraph. Sometimes you’ll need
several paragraphs for just one element.
Present informative and positive messages in the following order:
1. Give any good news and summarize the main points. Share good news immediately. Include details such as the date policies begin and the percent of a discount. If the reader
has already raised the issue, make it clear you’re responding.
2. Give details, clarification, background. Don’t repeat information from the first paragraph. Do answer all the questions your reader is likely to have; provide all
the information necessary to achieve your purposes. Present details in the order of
importance to the reader.
3. Present any negative elements—as positively as possible. A policy may have limits; information may be incomplete; the reader may have to satisfy requirements to get a
discount or benefit. Make these negatives clear, but present them as positively as possible.
4. Explain any reader benefits. Most informative memos need reader benefits. Show that the policy or procedure helps readers, not just the company. Give enough detail to make
the benefits clear and convincing. In letters, you may want to give benefits of dealing
with your company as well as benefits of the product or policy.
In a good news message, it’s often possible to combine a short reader benefit with a
goodwill ending in the last paragraph.
5. Use a goodwill ending: positive, personal, and forward-looking. Shifting your emphasis away from the message to the specific reader suggests that serving the reader
is your real concern.
Figure 10.1 summarizes the pattern. Figures 10.2 and 10.3 illustrate two ways that the
basic pattern can be applied. (◀◀ Figures 9.5 and 9.9 also use this pattern.) The letter in Figure 10.2 authorizes a one-year appointment that the reader and writer
have already discussed and describes the organization’s priorities. Because the writer
knows that the reader wants to accept the job, the letter doesn’t need to persuade. The
opportunity for the professor to study records that aren’t available to the public is an
implicit reader benefit; the concern for the reader’s needs builds goodwill.
The memo in Figure 10.3 announces a new employee benefit. The first paragraph
summarizes the policy. Paragraph 2 gives details. Negative elements are in paragraphs
3 and 4, stated as positively as possible. Paragraphs 5 to 7 give reader benefits and show
that everyone—even part-timers who are not eligible for reimbursement—will benefit
from the new program.
Consuming chocolate
apparently can change a
person’s mood—in as little
as three minutes, according
to one study. The quality of
the chocolate affects how
well it changes mood, and
researchers theorize that
the benefits are due to the
sensory pleasure of taste and
the emotional associations
with chocolate rather than
impacts on the brain’s
neurotransmitters.
Source: Susan Albers, “The 3-Minute Effect of Chocolate,”
Psychology Today, October 10,
2011, http://www.psychology
today.com/blog/comfort-cravings/
201110/the-3-minute-effect-
chocolate.
Figure 10.1 How to
Organize an Informative or
Positive Message
Main Point
Details
Negatives
Reader Benefits
Goodwill Ending
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 146loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 146 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 147
March 8, 2012
Professor Adrienne Prinz Department of History Duke University Durham, North Carolina 27000
Dear Professor Prinz:
Your appointment as archivist for Interstate Fidelity Insurance has been approved. When you were in Atlanta in December, you said that you could begin work June 1. We’d like you to start then if that date is still good for you.
The Board has outlined the following priorities for your work:
1. Organize and catalogue the archives. You’ll have the basement of the Palmer Building for the archives and can requisition the supplies you need. You’ll be able to control heat and humidity; the budget doesn’t allow special lighting or security measures.
2. Prepare materials for a 4-hour training session in October for senior-level managers. We’d like you to cover how to decide what to send to the archives. If your first four months of research uncover any pragmatic uses for our archives (like Wells Fargo’s use of archives to teach managers about past pitfalls), include those in the session.
3. Write an article each month for the employee newsletter describing the uses of the ar- chives. When we’re cutting costs in other departments, it’s important to justify committing funds to start an archive program.
4. Study the IFI archives to compile information that (a) can help solve current management problems, (b) could be included in a history of the company, and (c) might be useful to scholars of business history.
5. Begin work on a corporate history of IFI. IFI will help you find a publisher and support the book financially. You’ll have full control over the content.
Your salary will be $41,000 for six months; your contract can be renewed twice for a total of 18 months. You’re authorized to hire a full-time research assistant for $19,000 for six months; you’ll need to go through the normal personnel request process to request that that money be continued next year. A file clerk will be assigned full-time to your project. You’ll report to me. At least for the rest of this calendar year, the budget for the Archives Project will come from my department.
Tactful Good news
Details
These provisions will appeal
to the reader Salary is
deemphasiz ed
to avoid implying
that reade r
is “just taking the job for the
money”
Negative
about lighti ng
and securit y
presented
impersonall y
Negative that reade
r will have
to reapply presented as normal procedure
Assumes reader’s primary interest is the job
100 Interstate Plaza Atlanta, GA 30301 404-555-5000 Fax: 404-555-5270
nterstate Fidelity nsurance Company
IFI offices are equipped with Pentium computers with Microsoft Office Professional Plus 2010. Is there any software that we should buy for cataloguing or research? Are there any office supplies that we need to have on hand June 1 so that you can work efficiently?
Figure 10.2 A Positive Letter
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 147loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 147 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Instant Replay
Organizing Informative
and Positive Messages
1. Give any good news and
summarize the main points.
2. Give details, clarification,
background.
3. Present any negative
elements—as positively as
possible.
4. Explain any reader benefits.
5. Use a goodwill ending:
positive, personal, and
forward-looking.
Confirming pages
148 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Goodwill ending
Professor Adrienne Prinz March 8, 2012 Page 2
In the meantime,
1. Please send your written acceptance right away.
2. Let me know if you need any software or supplies.
3. Send me the name, address, and Social Security number of your research assistant by May 1 so that I can process his or her employment papers.
4. If you’d like help finding a house or apartment in Atlanta, let me know. I can give you the name of a real estate agent.
On June 1, you’ll spend the morning in Personnel. Stop by my office at noon. We’ll go out for lunch, and then I’ll take you to the office you‘ll have while you’re at IFI.
Welcome to IFI!
Cordially,
Cynthia Yen Director of Education and Training
Figure 10.2 A Positive Letter (Continued )
When should I use reader benefits in informative and positive messages? LO 10-3
▶ When you want readers to view your policies and your organization positively.
Not all informative and positive messages need reader benefits (◀◀ p. 112). You don’t need reader benefits when
• You’re presenting factual information only.
• The reader’s attitude toward the information doesn’t matter.
• Stressing benefits may make the reader sound selfish.
• The benefits are so obvious that to restate them insults the reader’s intelligence. (See
Figure 10.2 .)
You do need reader benefits when
• You are presenting policies.
• You want to shape readers’ attitudes toward the information or toward your organization.
• Stressing benefits presents readers’ motives positively.
• Some of the benefits may not be obvious to readers.
Messages to customers or potential customers sometimes include a sales paragraph pro-
moting products or services you offer in addition to the product or service that the reader
has asked about. Sales promotion in an informative or positive message should be low-key,
not “hard sell.”
I R
Organizing I
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 148loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 148 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 149
March 1, 2013
To: All Chamber Employees and Members of the Chamber Insurance Group
From: Lee Ann Rabe, Vice President for Human Resources
Subject: Health Care Benefits for Same-Sex Partners
Beginning May 1, same-sex partners of employees covered by the Chamber’s Health Plan will be eligible for the same coverage as spouses.
In order to have a partner covered, an employee must sign an affidavit in the Human Resources Department stating that the employee and his or her partner (1) live together, (2) intend to stay together, and (3) are responsible for each other. If the relationship ends, employees must notify the Human Resources Department within 30 days, just as do married couples who divorce.
Costs and coverage of the Chamber’s Health Plan remain the same. Dental and vision coverage are also available for a fee; limitations apply and remain the same. For information about the specifics of the Chamber’s Health Plan, pick up a brochure in the Human Resources Department.
Opposite-sex couples must still marry to receive the spousal coverage.
Extending coverage to same-sex partners of employees shows the Chamber as a progressive, open-minded organization. This in turn portrays Columbus in a positive light.
The new policy will affect not only Chamber employees but also the small businesses that are a part of the Chamber’s Health Plan. New businesses may see the change as a reason to join the Chamber—and the Health Plan. Growth in the Health Plan creates a wider base for insurance premiums and helps keep costs as low as possible. Additional Chamber members give us the funds and resources to plan more conferences for members. These conferences, such as the recent “R&D in Ohio’s Small Businesses,” help Chamber members do business successfully.
Making the Health Plan more comprehensive keeps us competitive with other major U.S. cities. As we move out of the recession, businesses are carefully considering possible moves. A policy change like this one shows Columbus’ continued goodwill toward minorities in general and will make convincing businesses to relocate here that much easier.
Selling Columbus as a good place to live and do business has never been easier.
Good news i n subject lin
e
and first pa ragraph
Negatives presented as positively as possible
Details
Good news
Reader Benefits
Goodwill ending
Negatives
Figure 10.3 A Positive Memo
Reader benefits are hardest to develop when you are announcing policies. The organiza-
tion probably decided to adopt the policy because it appeared to help the organization; the
people who made the decision may not have thought at all about whether it would help or
hurt employees. Yet reader benefits are most essential in this kind of message so readers
see the reason for the change and support it.
When you present reader benefits, be sure to present advantages to the reader. Most new policies help the organization in some way, but few workers will see their own interests
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 149loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 149 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
150 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
as identical with the organization’s. Even if the organization saves money or increases its
profits, workers will benefit directly only if they own stock in the company, if they’re high
up enough to receive bonuses, if the savings enables a failing company to avoid layoffs,
or if all of the savings goes directly to employee benefits. In many companies, any money
saved will go to executive bonuses, shareholder profits, or research and development.
To develop reader benefits for informative and positive messages, use the steps sug-
gested in Module 8. Be sure to think about intrinsic benefits (◀◀ p. 117) of your pol- icy—that is, benefits that come from the activity or policy itself, apart from any financial
benefits. Does a policy improve the eight hours people spend at work?
What are the most common kinds of informative and positive messages? LO 10-4
▶ Transmittals, confirmations, summaries, adjustments, and thank-you notes.
Many messages can be informative, negative, or persuasive depending on what you have to
say. A transmittal, for example, can be positive when you’re sending glowing sales figures
or persuasive when you want the reader to act on the information. A performance appraisal
is positive when you evaluate someone who’s doing superbly, negative when you want to
compile a record to justify firing someone, and persuasive when you want to motivate a
satisfactory worker to continue to improve. A collection letter is persuasive; it becomes
negative in the last stage when you threaten legal action. Each of these messages is dis-
cussed in the module for the pattern it uses most frequently. However, in some cases you
will need to use a pattern from a different module.
Transmittals
When you send someone something in an organization, attach a memo or letter of trans-
mittal explaining what you’re sending. A transmittal can be as simple as a small yellow
Post-it™ note with “ FYI ” written on it (“For Your Information”) or it can be a sepa- rate typed document, especially when it transmits a formal document such as a report
(▶▶ see Module 24). Organize a memo or letter of transmittal in this order:
1. Tell the reader what you’re sending.
2. Summarize the main point(s) of the document.
3. Indicate any special circumstances or information that would help the reader understand
the document. Is it a draft? Is it a partial document that will be completed later?
4. Tell the reader what will happen next. Will you do something? Do you want a response?
If you do want the reader to act, specify exactly what you want the reader to do and give
a deadline.
Sharing information is crucial to business
success. To drive home that point, Siemens
deposited 60 managers from around the
world on the shores of a lake south of
Munich, Germany, and told them to build
rafts. They weren’t allowed to talk: They
had to write messages and diagrams on
flip charts. Back in the office, ShareNet lets
employees around the world ask questions
and share answers.
It’s unfair to make a negative
message sound like a positive
one. When Merrick Bank
acquired NextCard, a customer
claimed he was offered “a
favor” that split the $120
annual fee into $10 payments.
The customer called to point
out he didn’t have an annual
fee, so the customer service
representative told him, “You
do now.” He canceled his
$300-limit credit card. AT&T’s
Universal Card allegedly offered
one customer a 7.9% APR
on balance transfers. The
problem was her card already
had a 7.35% APR. In addition,
subprime credit card offers—
those to high-risk borrowers—
may require careful reading.
Premier Bankcard recently
offered such customers a credit
card with a $300 limit and a
79.9% APR, all perfectly legal
so long as there’s disclosure.
Said CEO Miles Beacom, “From
our initial research we know
that 83 percent of the people
who accepted the offer are fully
aware of the interest rate they
are receiving and the purpose
of the credit card to help
re-establish credit.”
Source: Dayana Yochim, “Awful Offers,” The Motley Fool,
downloaded at http://fool.com/
ccc/manage/manage05.htm,
September 5, 2005; and Connie
Prater, “Issuer of 79.9% Interest
Rate Credit Card Defends Its
Product,” downloaded on February
12, 2010, at http://finance.
yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/
article/108839/issuer-of-79.9-
interest-rate-credit-card-defends-
its-product?mod5bb-creditcards.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 150loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 150 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 151
Frequently, transmittals have important secondary purposes, such as building goodwill
and showing readers that you’re working on projects they value.
Confirmations
Many informative messages record oral conversations. These messages are generally short
and give only the information shared orally; they go to the other party in the conversation.
Start the message by indicating that it is a confirmation, not a new message:
As we discussed on the phone today, . . .
As I told you yesterday, . . .
Attached is the meeting schedule we discussed earlier today.
Summaries
You may be asked to summarize a conversation, a document, or an outside meeting for
colleagues or superiors. (Minutes of an internal meeting are usually more detailed. See
Module 18 for advice on writing minutes of meetings.)
In a summary of a conversation for internal use, identify
• The people who were present.
• The topic of discussion.
• Decisions made.
• Who does what next.
To summarize a document
1. Start with the main point.
2. Give supporting evidence and details.
3. Evaluate the document, if your audience asks for evaluation.
4. Identify the actions your organization should take based on the document. Should
others in the company read this book? Should someone in the company write a letter to
the editor responding to this newspaper article? Should your company try to meet with
someone in the organization that the story is about?
Adjustments and Responses to Complaints
A lot of consumers are angry these days, and organizations should be responding to their
complaints. In a recent survey by Customer Care Measurement and Consulting, 45% of
the consumers said they had had problems with a product or service in the past year, and
more than two-thirds of them were “very” or “extremely” upset about their problem. Most
said they told friends or other people about their bad experience. This kind of bad publicity
is even riskier in an Internet economy. A business traveler from Seattle was furious when
a hotel told him at two o’clock in the morning that his supposedly guaranteed room was
already occupied. The traveler had to demand that the reluctant night clerk find him some-
where else to spend the night. Upon his return home, the consultant prepared a Power-
Point presentation about his experience and e-mailed it to some friends. Fortunately for the
hotel, he also mailed a copy to the manager. As the humorous presentation was forwarded
to more and more readers, the hotel quickly contacted him to solve the problem. 3
When you grant a customer’s request for an adjusted price, discount, replacement, or
other benefit to resolve a complaint, do so in the very first sentence.
Your Visa bill for a night’s lodging has been adjusted to $63. Next month a credit of
$37 will appear on your bill to reimburse you for the extra amount you were originally
asked to pay.
Instant Replay
Use reader benefits when
• You are presenting policies.
• You want to shape readers’
attitudes toward the
information or toward your
organization.
• Stressing benefits presents
readers’ motives positively.
• Some of the benefits may
not be obvious to readers.
I R
Use reader ben
Social media like Twitter
are letting angry customers
complain about the way
their complaints are handled.
MIT’s Michael Schrage
recommends companies be
more transparent with how they
handle both the complaints
and the compliments, or,
as he puts it, avoiding the
Watergate aphorism “The
cover-up is worse than the
crime.” He recommends
companies consider proactive
solutions, such as posting the
top 100 call center transcripts
so visitors can see just what
happens when someone
contacts the company.
Source: Michael Schrage, “A Better Way to Handle Publicly
Tweeted Complaints,” Bloomberg
Businessweek, November 21,
2011, http://www.businessweek.
com/management/a-better-
way-to-handle-publicly-tweeted-
complaints-11212011.html.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 151loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 151 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
152 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Don’t talk about your own process in making the decision. Don’t say anything that
sounds grudging. Give the reason for the original mistake only if it reflects credit on the
company. (In most cases, it doesn’t, so the reason should be omitted.)
Thank-You and Congratulatory Notes
Sending a thank-you note will make people more willing to help you again in the future. Thank-you letters can be short but must be prompt. They need to be specific to
sound sincere.
Congratulating someone can cement good feelings between you and the reader and
enhance your own visibility. Again, specifics help.
Avoid language that may seem condescending or patronizing. A journalism profes-
sor was offended when a former student wrote to congratulate her for a feature article
that appeared in a major newspaper. As the professor pointed out, the letter’s language
implied that the writer had more status than the person being praised. The praiser was
“quite impressed,” congratulated the professor on reaching a conclusion that the praiser
had already reached, and assumed that the professor would have wanted to discuss matters
with the praiser. To the reader, “Keep up the good work!” implied that the one cheering her
on had been waiting for ages at the finish line. 4
How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module? LO 10-5
▶ Plan your activities and answer the PAIBOC questions.
Before you tackle the assignments for this module, examine the following problem.
Figure 4.1 (◀◀ p. 62) lists the activities needed to produce a good message. See how the PAIBOC questions probe the basic points required for a solution. Study the two sample
solutions to see what makes one unacceptable and the other one good. Note the recom-
mendations for revision that could make the good solution excellent. 5 The checklist at the
end of the Module in Figure 10.6 can help you evaluate a draft.
Paul S. Gumbinner, president
of the executive search firm
that bears his name, says that
while 60% of job candidates
send the company a thank-
you note after an interview,
interviewers sending like
messages is almost unheard
of and a missed opportunity
to build goodwill. One person
who received a thank-you from
an interviewer “was blown
away by the gesture and called
to tell me that she was utterly
impressed and how much
she wanted to work for this
company.”
Source: Paul S. Gumbinner, “Companies Should Send
Candidates Thank-You Notes, Too,”
Advertising Age, January 20, 2010,
from http://adage.com/talentworks/
article?article_id5141600.
Thank-you notes can be written
on standard business stationery,
using standard formats. But one
student noticed that his adviser
really liked cats and had pictures
of them in her office. So he found
a cat card for his thank-you note.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 152loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 152 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 153
Problem
Interstate Fidelity Insurance (IFI) uses computers to handle its payments and billings.
There is often a time lag between receiving a payment from a customer and recording it on
the computer. Sometimes, while the payment is in line to be processed, the computer sends
out additional notices: past-due notices, collection letters, even threats to sue. Customers
are frightened or angry and write asking for an explanation. In most cases, if they just
waited a little while, the situation would be straightened out. But policyholders are afraid
that they’ll be without insurance because the company thinks the bill has not been paid.
IFI doesn’t have the time to check each individual situation to see if the check did arrive
and has been processed. It wants you to write a letter that will persuade customers to wait.
If something is wrong and the payment never reached IFI, IFI would send a legal notice
to that effect saying that the policy would be canceled by a certain date (which the notice
would specify) at least 30 days after the date on the original premium bill. Continuing
customers always get this legal notice as a third chance (after the original bill and the past
due notice).
Prepare a form letter that can go out to every policyholder who claims to have paid a
premium for automobile insurance and resents getting a past-due notice. The letter should
reassure readers and build goodwill for IFI.
Analysis of the Problem
P What are your purposes in writing or speaking? To reassure readers: they’re covered for 30 days. To inform them they can
assume everything is OK unless they receive a second notice. To avoid further correspondence on this subject. To build goodwill for IFI: (a) we don’t want to
suggest IFI is error-prone or too cheap to hire enough people to do the necessary
work; (b) we don’t want readers to switch companies; (c) we do want readers to
buy from IFI when they’re ready for more insurance.
A Who is (are) your audience(s)? How do the members of your audience differ from each other? What characteristics are relevant to this particular message?
Automobile insurance customers who say they’ve paid but have still received
a past-due notice. They’re afraid they’re no longer insured. Because it’s a form
letter, different readers will have different situations: in some cases payment did
arrive late, in some cases the company made a mistake, in some the reader never
paid (check lost in mail, unsigned, bounced, etc.).
I What information must your message include? Readers are still insured. We cannot say whether their checks have now been
processed (company doesn’t want to check individual accounts). Their insurance
will be canceled if they do not pay after receiving the second past-due notice (the
legal notice).
B What reasons or reader benefits can you use to support your position? Computers help us provide personal service to policyholders. We offer policies to
meet all their needs. Both of these points would need specifics to be interesting
and convincing.
O What objections can you expect your reader(s) to have? What negative elements of your message must you deemphasize or overcome?
Computers appear to cause errors. We don’t know if the checks have been
processed. We will cancel policies if their checks don’t arrive.
C How will the context affect the reader’s response? Think about your relationship to the reader, morale in the organization, the economy, the time of year, and any special
circumstances
Site to See
Go to
www.bluemountain.com/ Electronic greeting cards are
fun to send and receive; they
build goodwill.
Site to See
Go to
www.planetfeedback.com To read sample letters praising
companies, choose a company
or industry and choose
Compliment under
Feedback Type.
The earliest known written
appearance of the word
“information” occurred in 1387,
and in terms of online use, it’s
the 22nd most common word
in the English language.
Source: Jennifer Schuessler, “Too Much Information About
‘Information’?” The New
York Times, March 23, 2011,
http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.
com/2011/03/23/too-much-
information-about-information/.
Go to
Go to
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 153loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 153 12/28/12 4:21 PM12/28/12 4:21 PM
Confirming pages
154
The insurance business is highly competitive—other companies offer similar rates
and policies. The customer could get a similar policy for about the same money
from someone else. Most people find that money is tight, so they’ll want to keep
insurance costs low. On the other hand, the fact that prices are steady or rising means
that the value of what they own is higher—they need insurance more than ever.
Many insurance companies are refusing to renew policies (car, liability,
malpractice insurance). These refusals to renew have gotten lots of publicity, and
many people have heard horror stories about companies and individuals whose
insurance has been canceled or not renewed after a small number of claims.
Readers don’t feel very kindly toward insurance companies.
People need car insurance. If they have an accident and aren’t covered, they not
only have to bear the costs of that accident alone but also (depending on state law)
may need to place as much as $50,000 in a state escrow account to cover future
accidents. They have a legitimate worry.
Discussion of the Sample Solutions The solution in Figure 10.4 is unacceptable. The red marginal comments show problem
spots. Because this is a form letter, we cannot tell customers we have their checks; in some
cases, we may not. The letter is far too negative. The explanation in paragraph 2 makes IFI
look irresponsible and uncaring. Paragraph 3 is far too negative. Paragraph 4 is too vague;
there are no reader benefits; the ending sounds selfish.
A major weakness with the solution is that it lifts phrases straight out of the problem;
the writer does not seem to have thought about the problem or about the words he or she is
using. Measuring the draft against the answers to the questions for analysis suggests that
this writer should start over.
The solution in Figure 10.5 is much better. The blue marginal comments show the let-
ter’s strong points. The message opens with the good news that is true for all readers.
(Whenever possible, one should use the good news pattern of organization.) Paragraph 2
Writing a Goodwill Ending LO 10-6
Building a Critical Skill
Goodwill endings focus on the business relationship you share with your reader. When you write to one person, a good last
paragraph fits that person specifically. When you write to some-
one who represents an organization, the last paragraph can refer
to your company’s relationship to the reader’s organization.
When you write to a group (for example, to “All Employees”)
your ending should apply to the whole group.
Possibilities include complimenting the reader for a job well
done, describing a reader benefit, or looking forward to some-
thing positive that relates to the subject of the message.
For example, consider possible endings for a letter answer-
ing the question, “When a patient leaves the hospital and
returns, should we count it as a new stay?” For one company,
the answer was that if a patient was gone from the hospital
overnight or longer, the hospital should start a new claim when
the patient was readmitted.
Weak closing Should you have any questions regarding this paragraph: matter, please feel free to call me.
Goodwill Many employee-patients appreciate the freedom ending: to leave the hospital for a few hours. It’s nice
working with a hospital that is flexible enough to
offer that option.
Also Omit the paragraph; stop after the acceptable: explanation.
Some writers end every message with a standard invitation:
If you have questions, please do not hesitate to ask.
That sentence lacks positive emphasis (◀◀ p. 102). But say- ing “feel free to call”—though more positive—is rarely a good
idea. Most of the time, the writer should omit the sentence and
make the original message clear.
One of the reasons you write is to save the time needed
to tell everyone individually. People in business aren’t
shrinking violets; they will call if they need help. Do make
sure your phone number is in the letterhead or is typed below
your name. You can also add your e-mail address below
your name.
With nearly 25% of the global
workforce depressed, the
challenge is for employers
to find ways to improve the
emotional well-being of workers.
Happy employees translate
into more productive ones. In
the U.S. alone, estimates of the
costs are as high as $51 billion
annually due to absenteeism
and lost productivity from
depressed employees.
Sources: Victoria McGrane, “Nearly Quarter of Workers Are Depressed,”
The Wall Street Journal, November
11, 2011, http://blogs.wsj.com/
economics/2011/11/11/nearly-
quarter-of-workers-are-depressed/;
and Jhaneel Lockhart, “Employee
Depression Costs Workplaces
$51 Billion Annually,” The Business
Insider, January 17, 2012, http://
articles.businessinsider.com/
2012-01-17/strategy/30634551_1_
depression-productivity-
absenteeism.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 154loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 154 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 155
Figure 10.4 An Unacceptable Solution to the Sample Problem
Dear Customer:
Relax. We got your check.
There is always a time lag between the time payments come in and the time they are processed. While payments are waiting to be processed, the computer with super- human quickness is sending out past-due notices and threats of cancellation.
Cancellation is not something you should worry about. No policy would be canceled without a legal notice to that effect giving a specific date for cancellation which would be at least 30 days after the date on the original premium notice.
If you want to buy more insurance, just contact your local Interstate Fidelity agent. We will be happy to help you.
Sincerely,
Not necess arily true.
Reread prob lem.
Too negative
This explanation
makes
company look bad.
Need to present this positive
ly
Need date
This paragraph isn't specific enough to
work
as a reader benefit. It lacks you-attitud
e and
positive emphasis.
Figure 10.5 A Good Solution to the Sample Problem
Dear Customer:
Your auto insurance is still in effect.
Past-due notices are mailed out if the payment has not been processed within three days after the due date. This may happen if a check is delayed in the mail or arrives without a signature or account number. When your check arrives with all the necessary information, it is promptly credited to your account.
Even if a check is lost in the mail and never reaches us, you still have a 30-day grace period. If you do get a second notice, you’ll know that we still have not received your check. To keep your insurance in force, just stop payment on the first check and send a second one.
Computer processing of your account guarantees that you get any discounts you’re eligible for: multicar, accident-free record, good student. If you have a claim, your agent uses computer tracking to find matching parts quickly, whatever car you drive. You get a check quickly—usually within three working days—without having to visit dealer after dealer for time-consuming estimates.
Today, your home and possessions are worth more than ever. You can protect them with Interstate Fidelity’s homeowners’ and renters’ policies. Let your local agent show you how easy it is to give yourself full protection. If you need a special rider to insure a personal computer, a coin or gun collection, or a fine antique, you can get that from IFI, too.
Whatever your insurance needs—auto, home, life, or health—one call to IFI can do it all.
Sincerely,
Good ¶ 1. T rue
for all reade rs
Good you-attitude
Good to treat notice
as information,
tell reader what to do if
it arrives
Benefits of using
computers
Need to add
benefits of insuring with IFI Good specifics
Too negative Better to put in agent’s name, phone number
Acceptable ending
Better: use computer to personalize. Put in name and address of a specific reader.
Need date
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 155loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 155 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Confirming pages
156 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
h Does the subject line give the good news? Is the subject line specific enough to dif- ferentiate this message from others on the same subject?
h Does the first paragraph summarize the information or good news? If the informa- tion is too complex to fit into a single paragraph, does the paragraph list the basic
parts of the policy or information in the order in which the memo discusses them?
h Is all the information given in the message? (What information is needed will vary depending on the message, but information about dates, places, times, and anything
related to money usually needs to be included. When in doubt, ask!)
h In messages announcing policies, is there at least one reader benefit for each segment of the audience? Are all reader benefits ones that seem likely to occur in
this organization?
h Is each reader benefit developed, showing that the benefit will come from the policy and why the benefit matters to this organization? Do the benefits build on
the job duties of people in this organization and the specific circumstances of
the organization?
h Does the message end with a positive paragraph—preferably one that is specific to the readers, not a general one that could fit any organization or policy?
And, for all messages, not just informative and positive ones,
h Does the message use you-attitude and positive emphasis? h Is the style easy to read and friendly? h Is the visual design of the message inviting? h Is the format correct? h Does the message use standard grammar? Is it free from typos?
Originality in a positive or informative message may come from
h Creating good headings, lists, and visual impact. h Developing reader benefits. h Thinking about readers and giving details that answer their questions and make it
easier for them to understand and follow the policy.
Checklist for
Informative and Positive Messages
h
CC ff
Figure 10.6
explains IFI’s policy. It avoids assigning blame and ends on a positive note. The negative
information is buried in paragraph 3 and is presented positively: The notice is information,
not a threat; the 30-day extension is a “grace period.” Telling the reader now what to do if
a second notice arrives eliminates the need for a second exchange of letters. Paragraph 4
offers benefits for using computers, since some readers may blame the notice on comput-
ers, and offers benefits for being insured by IFI. Paragraph 5 promotes other policies the
company sells and prepares for the last paragraph.
As the red comments indicate, this good solution could be improved by personalizing
the salutation and by including the name and number of the local agent. Computers could
make both of these insertions easily. This good letter could be made excellent by revising
paragraph 4 so that it doesn’t end on a negative note, and by using more reader benefits.
For instance, do computers help agents advise clients of the best policies for them? Does
IFI offer good service—quick, friendly, nonpresssured—that could be stressed? Are agents
well trained? All of these might yield ideas for additional reader benefits.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 156loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 156 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 157
Summary of Learning Objectives
• A subject line is the title of a document. A good subject line meets three criteria: it’s specific; it’s reasonably short; and it’s
adapted to the kind of message (positive, negative, persuasive).
If you can’t make the subject both specific and short, be spe-
cific. (LO 10-1) • The subject line for an informative or positive message should
highlight any good news and summarize the information con-
cisely. (LO 10-1) • Informative and positive messages normally use the following
pattern of organization: (LO 10-2) 1. Give any good news and summarize the main points.
2. Give details, clarification, background.
3. Present any negative elements as positively as possible.
4. Explain any reader benefits.
5. Use a goodwill ending: positive, personal, and forward-looking.
• Use reader benefits in informative and positive messages when
(LO 10-3)
• You are presenting policies.
• You want to shape readers’ attitudes toward the information
or toward your organization.
• Stressing benefits presents readers’ motives positively.
• Some of the benefits may not be obvious to readers.
• Transmittals, confirmations, summaries, adjustments, and thank-
you notes are common types of informative and positive
messages. (LO 10-4) • Use the PAIBOC questions listed in Module 1 to examine the
basic points needed for successful informative and positive
messages. (LO 10-5) • Goodwill endings focus on the business relationship you share
with your reader. (LO 10-6) • To create a goodwill ending, (LO 10-6) • Compliment the reader for a job well done.
• Describe a reader benefit.
• Look forward to something positive that relates to the message.
Assignments for Module 10
10.1 What are the three criteria for good subject lines? (LO 10-1)
10.2 How should you organize a positive or informative message? (LO 10-2)
10.3 How do varieties of informative and positive messages adapt the basic pattern? (LO 10-4)
Questions for Comprehension
10.4 What’s wrong with the subject line “New Policy”? (LO 10-1)
10.5 Is it unethical to “bury” any negative elements in an other- wise positive or informative message? (LO 10-2)
10.6 Why is it important to recognize the secondary as well as the primary purposes of your message? (LO 10-2, LO 10-4)
10.7 Are you more likely to need reader benefits in informative letters or memos? Why? (LO 10-3)
Questions for Critical Thinking
10.8 Revising a Positive Message (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
As director of purchasing for City College, you maintain a
list of approved vendors who must comply with all local,
state, and federal laws. You buy only from approved vendors.
You are now responding to a request from Amelia Kemp
that her printing company be reinstated on the list. The
company was suspended a month ago for paying less than
the minimum wage, but she didn’t own the business then.
A subordinate has prepared this draft for your signature.
You know that this is a terrible letter. Both organization
and style can be much better.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Identify the draft’s problems in organization, style, you-
attitude, and positive emphasis.
b. Write a new letter to replace this draft.
Exercises and Problems
Dear Ms. Kemp:
This is in response to your letter of last week appealing your suspension as a printing vendor
for City College because of non-compliance with the prevailing wage requirement.
I have had both our administrative and legal staff review the circumstances surrounding
the suspension, and they have recommended that it be reduced to 30 days. Their recom-
mendation is based strongly on the fact that you were not the owner of the business when
the violation occurred which resulted in your suspension. In addition, your letter of last week
promised that you will be in compliance for all future jobs printed for City College.
Since the letter informing you of the suspension was dated 33 days ago, this means that
you are immediately reinstated as an approved vendor. My office, however, reserves the right
to review future jobs performed by your company to ensure that you comply with the wage
requirements and other requirements.
If you have any questions or concerns about this action, please feel free to contact me.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 157loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 157 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Confirming pages
158 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Most of the workers in your office are salaried, so they do
not receive overtime pay when they work after 5 pm. How-
ever, the Executive Committee last week decided to insti-
tute a policy of compensatory time off. Under this policy,
if someone works 2 or more hours more than the basic
40-hour workweek, he or she can take off the same number
of hours on another day while still being paid the full rate.
The employee’s supervisor must approve the time chosen
for compensatory time off; an employee cannot take time
off if he or she is needed for an important project. This pol-
icy is effective starting the first full week of next month. It is
not retroactive; that is, people will not receive compensatory
time off for additional hours they may have already worked.
Write a message to all employees announcing the policy.
10.9 Announcing a New Policy of Compensatory Time Off (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
Recently, a longtime employee was terminated for access-
ing adult websites on a company computer. Though the
employee claimed that while doing a job-related web
search several adult ads popped up, records show the site
addresses were actually keyed in. The employee was also
logged into the computer in question at the time.
This was the third time the employee was found to
be using the web inappropriately. He was given a written
warning both previous times.
Now is the time to remind employees of the company’s
policy on using the web. For starters, web use is limited to
tasks relevant to company business, and employees are to use
the company e-mail system for company business only. If an
employee receives a personal e-mail message through the
company system, he or she should forward it to a personal
e-mail system and open it elsewhere while “off the clock.”
The company reserves the right to monitor employee
web and e-mail use on a company computer at any time.
Finally, employees who violate the policy are subject to
disciplinary action, up to and including termination.
Write an e-mail message reminding employees of the
policy.
10.13 Reminding Employees of the Company Web Use Policy (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
To help employees who are caring for elderly relatives,
your Human Resources office will provide information and
referral services for elder day care and long-term assisted-
living or nursing care and names and addresses of people
willing to work part- or full-time as caregivers. In addition,
you will sponsor seminars on a number of topics about deal-
ing with elderly parents, ranging from deciding whether to
use a nursing facility, when to stop driving, and how to fill
out medical forms.
As part of the new policy, the organization will allow
employees to use personal time off and sick time to care for
any family member. You will also allow employees to take time
off during the workday to stay until a nurse arrives or to drive a
parent to a doctor’s appointment. Employees must notify their
supervisors in advance that they will be away and must make
up the time sometime during the next 30 days. Employees who
need more time can take unpaid leaves of up to 15 months and
can return to their present jobs and current salaries.
10.14 Announcing an Additional Employee Benefit (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
10.10 Accepting Suggestions (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
Your city government encourages money-saving sugges-
tions to help balance the city budget. The suggestion com-
mittee, which you chair, has voted to adopt five suggestions.
1. Direct deposit paychecks to save distribution and printing
costs. Suggested by Park Kim Lee, in Recreation and Parks.
2. Buy supplies in bulk. Suggested by Jolene Zigmund, in
Maintenance.
3. Charge nearby towns and suburbs a fee for sending their
firefighters through the city fire academy. Suggested by
Charles Boxell, in Fire Safety.
4. Ask employees to reimburse the city for personal pho-
tocopies or phone calls. Suggested by Maria Echeverria,
in Police.
5. Install lock boxes so that meter readers don’t have to
turn off water valves when people move. This causes
wear and tear, and broken valves must be dug up and
replaced. Suggested by Travis Gratton, in Water Line
Maintenance.
Each suggester gets $100. The Accounting Department will
cut checks the first of next month; checks should reach peo-
ple in interoffice mail a few days later.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Write to one of the suggesters, giving the good news.
b. Write to all employees, announcing the award winners.
10.11 Giving Good News (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
Write to a customer or client, to a vendor or supplier, or
to your boss announcing good news. Possibilities include a
product improvement, a price cut or special, an addition to
your management team, a new contract, and so forth.
10.12 Agreeing to Waive a Fee (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
You’re a customer service representative for a major credit
card company. Last week, Naomi Neyens called asking
that you waive the annual fee on her account. “I’m getting
offers from other companies with no annual fee. I’d like to
keep my account, but only if you waive the fee for the life
of the account.” You agreed to do as she asked, effective
immediately. Now, you need to write a letter confirming the
conversation.
Write to Ms. Neyens, specifying her 16-digit account
number.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 158loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 158 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 159
To give an additional benefit and to help inoculate employ-
ees against an illness that affects their attendance, your
organization is providing flu shots to all employees at your
central office. The flu shots will be administered on two
days: October 1 and October 15, from 8 am to 4 pm. The
cost is $10 for employees in the organization’s HMO pro-
gram and $15 for employees in the organization’s PPO pro-
gram. Employees covered by another insurance provider
cannot participate.
Employees at satellite locations and within driving dis-
tance can still participate, but they may need to take per-
sonal leave for the travel time to and from the central office.
People who receive the flu shot generally avoid getting the
flu for an entire season, but there may be some discomfort
and swelling in the arm muscle where the injection occurs.
To participate, employees must contact your Human
Resources Office at ext. 2173 and schedule an appoint-
ment. Employees must also fill out a questionnaire regard-
ing any recent health problems and sign a waiver against
liability to the organization. The flu shots will be admin-
istered by a registered nurse, and participants will receive
a free health screening from a nurse practitioner. Write a
message to your employees informing them of the addi-
tional benefit.
10.16 Informing Employees that Flu Shots Are Available (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
You receive the following letter today:
10.15 Answering a Customer Complaint about Shipping and Handling Costs (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
The policy takes effect the first of next month.
Assume that you’re Director of Human Resources,
and write a memo to all employees announcing the
benefit.
Hints:
• Pick a business, government, or nonprofit organization
you know well.
• What age groups do employees represent? How many of
them are caring for elderly parents now?
• Specify the topic, date, and place of the first seminar
you’ll sponsor. If possible, give the schedule for the first
three months.
• Be sure to provide reader benefits for employees who do
not care for elderly parents as well as those who do.
• How easy is it for your organization to attract and retain
skilled workers? Why is it important to your organiza-
tion that people be alert and be willing to take more
responsibility?
Recently, I telephoned to order a bookcase from your catalogue. The price was $143, plus
shipping and handling. Because the catalogue said to inquire about the shipping and han-
dling cost, I asked the customer service representative how much that might be. I was
expecting $25. Imagine my shock when the representative said $178!
I pointed out the shipping and handling cost was more than the actual bookcase, and he
replied, “Well, that’s the standard rate. Take it or leave it.” I couldn’t believe my ears. When I
asked to speak to a manager, he said she was out. Then, he hung up.
I don’t know what is the bigger outrage—the shipping and handling cost or his rude behav-
ior. I order regularly through catalogues and websites, and I’ve never found shipping and
handling to be more than the actual item. How is it that others can ship for more reasonable
rates than you can?
This all smacks of unethical business practices, and I have a good mind to report you to the
State’s Attorney General’s Office.
Sincerely,
Carla Biedler
Your company’s shipping rates are a frequent sore spot
with customers. What they don’t understand is that shipping
prices are determined by the carrier, an overland trucking
company that charges higher rates because it has an impec-
cable record for delivering packages on time and intact.
Since switching to that carrier, returns for your company
on damaged goods have dropped more than 90%. The car-
rier charges a rate based on size and weight. The bookcase
is oversized and weighs 145 pounds, making it expensive
to ship.
In addition, your company uses premium crating and
packing materials to protect all products. Preparing items for
shipment takes longer than simply putting an address label on
a box, so handling charges are more than some vendors might
charge. However, there is no markup on the handling charges.
You’ll investigate which of your 38 customer service
representatives might have spoken rudely to Ms. Biedler,
but because your company doesn’t record conversations,
identifying him may be impossible.
Write a response to Ms. Biedler explaining the situation.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 159loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 159 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Rev.confirming pages
160 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Your company is ready to open an employee fitness center
with on-site aerobics classes, swimming pool, and weight
machines. The center will be open 6 am to 10 pm daily; a
qualified instructor will be on duty at all times. Employees
get first preference; if there is extra room, spouses and chil-
dren may also use the facilities. Locker rooms and showers
will be available.
Your company hopes that the fitness center will help
out-of-shape employees get the exercise they need to be
more productive. Other companies have gained as many as
762 workdays from shorter hospital stays by fitness center
members. People who exercise have medical bills that are
35% lower than people who do not get enough exercise.
Write the memo announcing the center.
Hints:
• Who pays the medical insurance for employees? If the
employer pays, then savings from healthier employees
will pay for the center. If another payment plan is in
effect, you’ll need a different explanation for the com-
pany’s decision to open the fitness center.
• Stress those benefits apart from the company’s saving
money. How can easier access to exercise help employ-
ees? What do they do? How can exercise reduce stress,
improve strength, and increase their productivity at work?
• What kind of record does the company have of helping
employees be healthy? Is the fitness center a new depar-
ture for the company, or does the company have a his-
tory of company sports teams, stop-smoking clinics, and
the like?
• What is the company’s competitive position? If the com-
pany is struggling, you’ll need to convince readers that
the fitness center is a good use of scarce funds. If the
company is doing well, show how having fit employees
can make people even more productive.
• Stress fun as a benefit. How can access to the center
make employees’ lives more enjoyable?
10.17 Announcing an Employee Fitness Center (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
As director of education and training, you oversee all
in-house training programs. Five weeks ago, Pat Dyrud,
Vice President for Human Resources, asked you to set
up a training course on teams. You tracked down Sarah
Reed, a Business Communication professor at a nearby
college.
“Yes, I do workshops on teamwork,” she told you on
the phone. “I would want at least a day and a half with
participants—two full days would be better. They need time
to practice the skills they’ll be learning. I’m free Mondays
and Tuesdays. I’m willing to work with up to five teams at a
time, as long as the total number of people is 30 or less. Tell
me what kinds of teams they work in, what they already
know, and what kinds of things you want me to emphasize.
My fee is $2,500 a day. Of course, you’d reimburse me for
expenses.”
10.19 Lining Up a Consultant to Improve Teamwork (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
10.18 Confirming a Reservation (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
Most travelers phone 13 months in advance to reserve
rooms at Signal Mountain Lodge in Grand Teton National
Park. Once you process the credit card (payment for the
first night), you write to confirm the reservation.
The confirmation contains the amount charged to the
credit card, the date on which the reservation was made, the
confirmation number, the kind of room (Lakefront Retreat
or Mountainview Retreat), and the dates the guest will be
arriving and leaving.
The amount of the deposit and the amount quoted per
night is the rate for the current calendar year. However, the
guest will be charged the rate for the calendar year of the
stay, which is likely to increase about 4% to 5%. In addition
to paying the new rate for each additional night, the guest
will need to pay the difference between the amount of the
deposit and the new rate for the first night.
Anyone who wants a refund must cancel the reserva-
tion in writing four days prior to the scheduled arrival date.
Cancellations may be faxed: The fax number is on the let-
terhead the letter will be printed on.
Parking is limited. People who bring big motorhomes,
boats, or camp trailers may have to park in the main parking
area rather than right by their cabins.
All of the rooms are cabin style with three to four rooms
in each building. There are no rooms in a main lodge. Peo-
ple will need to walk from their cabins to the restaurants,
unless they do their own cooking.
Both Lakefront and Mountainview Retreats have kitchen-
ettes with microwaves, but guests must bring their own cook-
ing utensils, dishes, supplies, and food. The bedroom area
(with a king-size bed in the Lakefront Retreats and a queen-
size bed in the Mountainview Retreats) has a sliding divider
that can separate it from the sitting area, which has a sofa bed.
Since the deposit pays for the first night (less any
increase in room rate), the room will be held regardless
of the time of arrival. Check-in time is 3 pm; earlier room
availability cannot be guaranteed. Check-out time is 11 am.
All cabins are nonsmoking. Smoking is permitted on the
decks of the Lakefront Retreats or the porches of the Moun-
tainview Retreats.
The guest should present the confirmation letter when
checking in.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Write a form letter that can be used for one type of room
(either Lakefront or Mountainview Retreat). Indicate
with square brackets material that would need to be
filled in for each guest (e.g., “arriving [date of arrival]
and departing [date of departure]”).
b. Write a letter to Stephanie Simpson, who has reserved
a Lakefront Retreat room arriving September 18 and
departing September 20. Her credit card is being billed
for $183.75 ($175 plus tax—the current rate). Her
address is 3122 Ellis Street, Stevens Point, WI 54481.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 160loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 160 25/01/13 9:30 PM25/01/13 9:30 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 161
Write a thank-you letter to someone who has helped you
achieve your goals.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Turn in a copy of the letter.
b. Mail the letter to the person who helped you.
c. Write a memo to your instructor explaining the choices
you made in writing the thank-you letter.
10.21 Writing a Thank-You Letter (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
Your business, government, or nonprofit organization has
received the following inquiries from international corre-
spondents. (You choose the country the inquiry is from.)
1. Please tell us about a new product, service, or trend so
that we can decide whether we want to buy, license, or
imitate it in our country.
2. We have heard about a problem [technical, social, politi-
cal, or ethical] which occurred in your organization.
Could you please tell us what really happened and esti-
mate how it is likely to affect the long-term success of
the organization?
3. Please tell us about college programs in this field that
our managers could take.
4. We are considering setting up a plant in your city. We
have already received adequate business information.
However, we would also like to know how comfortable
our nationals will feel. Do people in your city speak
our language? How many? What opportunities exist for
our nationals to improve their English? Does your town
already have people from a wide mix of nations? Which
are the largest groups?
5. Our organization would like to subscribe to an English-
language trade journal. Which one would you recommend?
Why? How much does it cost? How can we order it?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Answer one or more of the inquiries. Assume that your
reader either reads English or can have your message
translated.
b. Write a memo to your instructor explaining how you’ve
adapted the message for your audience.
Hints:
• Even though you can write in English, English may not
be your reader’s native language. Write a letter that can
be translated easily.
• In some cases, you may need to spell out background
information that might not be clear to someone from
another country.
10.20 Answering an International Inquiry (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
You told her you thought a two-day session would be
feasible, but you’d have to get back to her after you got
budget approval. You wrote a quick memo to Pat Dyrud
explaining the situation and asking about what the session
should cover.
Two weeks ago, you received this memo:
Today, you got approval from the vice president to
schedule the session and pay Professor Reed the fee and
reimburse her for expenses to a maximum of $750. She
will have to keep all receipts and turn in an itemized list of
expenses to be reimbursed; you cannot reimburse her if she
does not have receipts.
You also need to explain the mechanics of the session.
You’ll meet in the Conference Room, which has a screen
and flip charts. You have an overhead projector, a slide pro-
jector, a laptop computer for showing PowerPoint slides,
a video camera, a DVD player, and a TV, but you need to
reserve these if she wants to use them.
Write to Professor Reed. You don’t have to persuade
her to come since she’s already informally agreed, but you
do want her to look forward to the job and to do her best
work.
Hints:
• Choose an organization you know something about.
• What do teams do in this organization? What challenges
do they face?
• Will most participants have experience working in
teams? Will they have bad habits to overcome? What
attitudes toward teams are they likely to have?
• Check the calendar to get the dates. If there’s any ambi-
guity about what “the second week of next month” is,
“call” Pat to check.
I’ve asked the Veep for budget approval for $5,000 for a two-day session plus no more than
$750 for all expenses. I don’t think there will be a problem.
We need some of the basics: strategies for working in groups, making decisions, budgeting
time, and so forth. We especially need work on dealing with problem group members and
on handling conflict—I think some of our people are so afraid that they won’t seem to be
“team players” if they agree too readily.
I don’t want some ivory tower theorist. We need practical exercises that can help us practice
skills that we can put into effect immediately.
Attached is a list of 24 people who are free Monday and Tuesday of the second week of next
month. Note that we’ve got a good mix of people. If the session goes well, I may want you
to schedule additional sessions.
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 161loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 161 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Rev.confirming pages
162 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Today you get this e-mail message from your boss:
10.22 Evaluating web pages (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
Your organization has decided to encourage employees to
take courses by reimbursing each eligible employee a maxi-
mum of $3,500 in tuition and fees during any one calendar
year. Anyone who wants to participate in the program must
apply before the first class meeting; the application must be
signed by the employee’s immediate supervisor. The Office
of Human Resources will evaluate applications. That office
has application forms.
The only courses eligible are those related to the
employee’s current position or to a position in the company
that the employee might hold someday, or that are part of
a job-related degree program. Again, the degree may be
one that would help the employee’s current position or that
would qualify him or her for a promotion or transfer in the
organization.
Only tuition and fees are covered, not books or sup-
plies. People whose applications are approved will be
reimbursed when they have completed the course with a
grade of C or better. An employee cannot be reimbursed until he or she submits a copy of the approved application,
an official grade report, and a statement of the tuition paid.
If someone is eligible for other financial aid (scholarship,
veterans’ benefits), the company will pay tuition costs
not covered by that aid as long as the employee does not
receive more than $3,500 and as long as the total tuition
reimbursement does not exceed the actual cost of tuition
and fees.
Part-time employees are not eligible; full-time employees
must work at the company three months before they can apply
to participate in the program. Courses may be at any appro-
priate level (high school, college, or graduate). However, the
IRS currently requires workers to pay tax on any reimburse-
ment for graduate programs. Undergraduate and basic educa-
tion reimbursements of $5,250 a year are not taxed.
As director of human resources, write a memo to all
employees explaining this new benefit.
Hints:
• Pick an organization you know something about. What
do its employees do? What courses or degrees might help
them do their jobs better?
• How much education do employees already have? How
do they feel about formal schooling?
• The information in the problem is presented in a confus-
ing order. Put related items together.
• The problem stresses the limits of the policy. Without
changing the provision, present them positively.
• How will having a better-educated workforce help the
organization? Think about the challenges the organiza-
tion faces, its competitive environment, and so forth.
10.23 Announcing a Tuition Reimbursement Program (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. List the generic criteria for evaluating a web page.
Think about the various audiences for the page and the
content that will keep them coming back, the way the
page is organized, how easy it is to find something,
the visual design, and the details, such as a creation/
update date.
b. List criteria for pages of specific kinds of organiza-
tions. For example, a nonprofit organization might want
information for potential and current donors, volunteers,
and clients. A financial institution might want to project
an image both of trustworthiness and as being a good
place to work.
c. Evaluate three web pages of similar organizations.
Which is best? Why?
Hint:
Review web page design tips in Module 5.
Subject: Evaluating Our web page
Our CEO wants to know how our web page compares to those of our competitors. I’d like
you to do this in two steps. First, send me a list of your criteria. Then give me an evaluation of
two of our competitors and of our own pages. I’ll combine your memo with others on other
web pages to put together a comprehensive evaluation for the next Executive Meeting.
A glitch in your payroll system erroneously withheld about
10% less in federal taxes from each paycheck during the
last two pay periods. Therefore, more money must be with-
held from employee paychecks during upcoming pay peri-
ods to compensate. The amount will vary depending on
employee, but all employees were affected by the error.
Now you must send a letter to employees explaining
that a corresponding amount will have to be withheld from
future paychecks. Since there are only three pay periods
before the end of the year, and it will take one pay period
before the correction to the payroll system can go into
effect, the amount will be divided among the two remaining
pay periods. Of course, since the system must cycle through
one pay period before changes can take effect, the total
shortfall of federal taxes affected will be closer to 30%. The
withholdings must be made in the current calendar year.
10.24 Correcting a Mistake (LO 10-1 to LO 10-6)
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 162loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 162 25/01/13 9:28 PM25/01/13 9:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages 163
The HR Director wants to avoid a flood of inquiries
regarding the situation and is counting on your message
to help minimize questions. However, a hotline has been
established with a recording to address likely frequently
asked questions.
Write the letter.
Modifiers are words or phrases that give more information about
parts of a sentence. For instance, an adjective is a modifier that
usually describes a noun. Dangling modifiers make no sense to readers because the word they modify is not in the sentence. If you
diagrammed the sentence, the modifier would not be attached to
anything; it would dangle.
Dangling: Confirming our conversation, your Hot Springs Hot Tub Spa is scheduled for delivery April 12. (This sentence says
that the spa is doing the confirming.)
Dangling: At the age of 10, I bought my daughter her first share of stock.
Correct a dangling modifier in either of these ways:
1. Rewrite the modifier as a subordinate clause.
Correct: As I told you yesterday, your Hot Springs Hot Tub Spa is scheduled for delivery April 12.
Correct: I bought my daughter her first share of stock when she was 10.
2. Rewrite the main clause so its subject or object can be modi-
fied correctly.
Correct: Talking on the phone, we confirmed that your Hot Springs Hot Tub Spa is scheduled for delivery April 12.
Correct: At the age of 10, my daughter received the first share of stock I bought for her.
Exercises
Correct the dangling modifiers in these sentences.
1. Traveling overseas on business, the sights were absolutely
incredible.
2. At the age of 11, my mother told me that I was a natural-born
salesman.
3. Ringing over and over, I finally answered the phone.
4. Speaking with you on the phone, our appointment will be at
3 p.m. on July 2.
5. Imagining the worst, the storm really made me worry about
traveling this weekend.
6. Speaking with a great deal of confidence, the interview went
well for Kim.
7. After carefully selecting from all of my investment options,
my mutual funds yielded a 7% return this past year.
8. Reviewing the e-mail message, the customer was complaining
about how our counter person was rude to her.
9. Featuring so many great apps, I had a hard time choosing
which ones to download from the website.
10. Demonstrating hard work and dedication, the Outstanding
Employee Award went to Gary, a 32-year veteran of Seitz,
Noonan, and Cobb.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Dangling Modifiers
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 163loc03261_ch10_143-163.indd 163 12/28/12 4:22 PM12/28/12 4:22 PM
Confirming pages
164
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
I n a negative message, the basic information is negative, so we expect the reader to be disap-
pointed or angry. Few people like to give bad news—and even fewer people like to get it—but nega-
tive messages are common in business. How we present negatives and what we write or say can
affect how audiences respond to our messages, as well as how they view us and our organization.
Negative messages include
• Rejections and refusals.
• Announcements of policy changes that do not benefit customers or consumers.
• Requests the reader will see as insulting or intrusive.
• Negative performance appraisals and disciplinary notices.
• Product recalls or notices of defects.
LO 11-1 Create subject lines for negative messages.
LO 11-2 Apply strategies for informative and positive message organization.
LO 11-3 Assess legal implications with messages, especially negative ones.
LO 11-4 Identify situations for buffer use.
LO 11-5 List common kinds of negative messages.
LO 11-6 Apply strategies for negative message analysis with PAIBOC.
While writing negative messages can be challenging, Module 11 will help you to write them well. After
completing the module, you should be able to
Negative Messages 11
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 164loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 164 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 165
A negative message always has several purposes:
Primary Purposes:
• To give the reader the bad news.
• To have the reader read, understand, and accept the message.
• To maintain as much goodwill as possible.
Secondary Purposes:
• To build a good image of the writer.
• To build a good image of the writer’s organization.
• To reduce or eliminate future correspondence on the same subject so the message
doesn’t create more work for the writer.
Even when it is not possible to make the reader happy with the news we must convey,
we still want readers to feel that
• They have been taken seriously.
• Our decision is fair and reasonable.
• If they were in our shoes, they would make the same decision.
What’s the best subject line for a negative message? LO 11-1
▶ Only use negative subject lines if you think the reader may otherwise ignore the message.
Letters don’t require subject lines (◀◀ p. 127). Omit a subject line in negative letters unless you think readers may ignore what they think is a routine message. (See, for example,
Figure 11.2 later in this module).
When you give bad news to superiors, use a subject line that focuses on solving
the problem.
Even bad news can have a
silver lining. Petra Anderson
was among dozens wounded
at the Aurora, Colorado,
shooting at the premiere of
The Dark Knight Rises that
also killed 12 people. But
owing to a small birth defect
in her brain, the buckshot that
might otherwise have killed her
in fact missed anything vital.
With all of the bad news in her
life at the time—her mother
was diagnosed with terminal
cancer—a brain defect might
have been just one more
burden to carry. But in this
case, it was the miracle that
saved her life.
Source: Dylan Stableford, “Colorado Shooting Victim’s
Brain Condition Helped Her
Survive, Pastor Says,” June
25, 2012, http://news.yahoo.
com/blogs/lookout/colorado-
shooting-petra-anderson-brain-
survive-150918602.html .
Subject: Improving Our Subscription Letter
When you write to peers and subordinates, put the topic (but not your action on it) in
the subject line.
Subject: Status of Conversion Table Program
Due to heavy demands on our time, we have not yet been able to write programs for the
conversion tables you asked for.
How should I organize negative messages? LO 11-2
▶ It depends on your purposes and audiences.
Choose the pattern based on the situation.
• Letters to people outside your organization should be indirect to build goodwill.
• When you write to superiors, you need to propose solutions, not just report a problem.
• When you write to peers and subordinates, try to get their input in dealing with
negative situations.
Site to See
Go to
www.users.elite.net/runner/ jennifers/no.htm www.users.elite.net/runner/ jennifers/yes.htm
for Jennifer Runner’s
compilation of “no” in more
than 520 languages and
“yes” in more than 550
languages, respectively.
Go to
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 165loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 165 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
166 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
What pattern of organization to use is also influenced by your purposes. The patterns in
this section assume that maintaining goodwill is an important purpose. But as you’ll see
later in the module, on some occasions, maintaining goodwill is less important than giving
the negative clearly.
Giving Bad News to Customers and Other People Outside Your Organization
The following pattern helps writers maintain goodwill:
1. Give the reason for the refusal before the refusal itself when you have a reason that readers will understand and accept. A good reason prepares the reader to expect the refusal.
2. Give the negative just once, clearly. Inconspicuous refusals can be missed, making it necessary to say no a second time.
3. Present an alternative or compromise, if one is available. An alternative not only gives readers another way to get what they want but also suggests that you care about
readers and helping them solve their problems.
4. End with a positive, forward-looking statement.
Figure 11.1 summarizes the pattern. Figure 11.2 uses the basic pattern.
Reasons
Make the reason for the refusal clear and convincing. The following reason is inadequate.
Weak reason: The goal of the Knoxville CHARGE-ALL Center is to provide our customers faster, more personalized service. Since you now live outside the Knoxville
CHARGE-ALL service area, we can no longer offer you the advantages of a local
CHARGE-ALL Center.
If the reader says, “I don’t care if my bills are slow and impersonal,” will the company
let the reader keep the card? No. The real reason for the negative is that the bank’s fran-
chise allows it to have cardholders only in a given geographical region.
Real reason: Each local CHARGE-ALL Center is permitted to offer accounts to customers in a several-state area. The Knoxville CHARGE-ALL Center serves custom-
ers east of the Mississippi. You can continue to use your current card until it
expires. When that happens, you’ll need to open an account with a CHARGE-ALL
Center that serves Texas.
Don’t hide behind “company policy”: Readers will assume the policy is designed to
benefit you at their expense. If possible, show how the readers benefit from the policy. If
they do not benefit, don’t mention the policy.
The mystery of which client
hired Burson-Marsteller, a public
relations firm, to help spread
negative information about
Google was solved when an
influential blogger revealed it to
be none other than Facebook.
The revelation proved
embarrassing for the social
networking site, as news of the
effort was reported nationally
when some Facebook users
were also expressing concerns
over privacy and whether
personal data was being sold
to third parties. Always consider
ethics when sending out
negative messages.
Source: Dan Lyons, “Facebook Busted in Clumsy Smear on
Google,” May 12, 2011, http://news.
yahoo.com/s/dailybeast/20110512/
ts_dailybeast/14045_
facebookbustedinclumsy-
smearattemptongoogle .
Figure 11.1 How to
Organize a Negative Letter Reason
Refusal
Alternative
Goodwill Ending
Site to See
Go to
www.useit.com/ alertbox/20000123.html
General guidelines for saying
“no” can be applied to specific
situations. Computer expert
Jakob Neilsen explains how
to tell users that your website
can’t do what they want.
Go to
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 166loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 166 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 167
Weak reason: I cannot write an insurance policy for you because company policy does not allow me to do so.
Better reason: Gorham insures cars only when they are normally garaged at night. Standard insurance policies cover a wider variety of risks and charge higher fees. Limiting
the policies we write gives Gorham customers the lowest possible rates for auto
insurance.
Figure 11.2 A Negative Letter
Dear Policyholder:
When your auto insurance is renewed, it will no longer include liability coverage unless you select the new Assurance Plan. Here’s why.
Liability coverage is being discontinued. It, and the part of the premium which paid for it, will be dropped from all policies when they are renewed.
This could leave a gap in your protection. But you can replace the old Liability Coverage with Vickers’ new Assurance Plan.
With the new Assurance Plan, you receive benefits for litigation or awards arising from an accident--regardless of who’s at fault. The cost for the Assurance Plan at any level is based on the ages of drivers, where you live, your driving record, and other factors. If these change before your policy is renewed, the cost of your Assurance Plan may also change. The actual cost will be listed in your renewal statement.
To sign up for the Assurance Plan, just check the level of coverage you want on the enclosed form and return it in the postage-paid envelope within 14 days. You'll be assured of the coverage you select.
Sincerely,
C. J. Morgan President
P.S. The Assurance Plan protects you against possible legal costs arising from an accident. Sign up for the Plan today and receive full coverage from Vickers.
Insurance Company 3373 Forbes Avenue Rosemont, PA 19010
(215) 555-0100 Liability Coverage
Is Being Discontinued— Here’s How to Replace It!
Negative information highlighted so reader won
’t
ignore message.
Forward-looking ending emphasizes reader’s choice.
Alternative
Alternative
Negative
Positive information
underlined for emphas
is.
No reason is given. The change probably benefits
the company
rather than the
reader, so it is
omitted.
Nega tive
Alter nativ
e
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 167loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 167 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
168
Thinking about the Legal Implications of What You Say LO 11-3
Building a Critical Skill
Any message that is recorded—on paper (even a napkin),
on a disk or hard drive, on voice mail—can be subpoenaed
in a legal case. During the government’s months-long case
against Microsoft in the late 1990s, e-mail messages figured
prominently as evidence. Even an electronic message that
has been erased can be reconstituted by experts, and serv-
ers can be hacked, as was the case at the University of East
Anglia, where hundreds of e-mails from prominent British
and American climate researchers, some suggesting to critics
that data might have been manipulated or withheld, under-
mined their public image. In any message you write, how-
ever informal or hurried, you need to be sure to say exactly
what you mean.
Dell, Inc., and its financial service affiliate in New York were
sued after about 700 complaints flooded the office of Andrew
Cuomo, the state’s attorney general. At heart was whether Dell
had engaged in “bait and switch,” with salespeople promis-
ing customers 0% financing but then tricking them into higher
interest rates. According to Paul Reisner, who had excellent
credit and owned his own home, the company informed him
that he’d never qualified for 0% financing and then promptly
obligated him to pay a 29% interest rate.
Thinking about the legal implications of what you say
is particularly important in negative messages. In an effort
to cushion bad news, writers sometimes give reasons that
create legal liabilities. For example, as Elizabeth McCord
has shown, the statement that a plant is “too noisy and dan-
gerous” for a group tour could be used as evidence against
the company in a worker’s compensation claim. In another
case, a writer telling a job candidate that the firm had hired
someone else said that he thought she was the best candidate.
She sued and won.
People have found themselves in hot water for posting neg-
ative information on the Internet. Alan and Linda Townsend
were sued after launching a website to complain about the
quality of a product, Spray on Siding, used on their house.
The suit alleged the site infringed on the company’s trade-
marks, defamed its product, and intentionally misled and con-
fused consumers. An automobile club in California fired 27
workers for posting offensive material. A Boston University
instructor blogged about an attractive student and was dis-
missed, as was a nanny who revealed too much about herself
and her employers.
You don’t need to be a lawyer to figure out what to say—or
not to say. Think about how a reasonable person might interpret
your words. If that interpretation isn’t what you mean, revise
the passage so that it says what you mean.
Sources: Andrew C. Revkin, “Hacked E-Mail Is New Fodder for Climate Dispute,” The New York Times, November 20, 2009, http://www.nytimes. com/2009/11/21/science/earth/21climate.html?_r 5 1 ; “Unethical Sales
Practice Lands Dell in Legal Trouble,” June 6, 2007, downloaded at
http://in.ibtimes.com/articles/20070606/unethical-sales-practice-lands-
dell-in-legal-trouble.htm ; Elizabeth A. McCord, “The Business Writer,
the Law, and Routine Business Communication. A Legal and Rhetorical
Analysis,” Journal of Business and Technical Communication 5, no. 2 (1991): 173–99; Charles Odum, “Complaints Posted on website Spark
Lawsuit,” USAToday, November 5, 2004, downloaded at www.usatoday. com/tech/news/techpolicy/2004-11-05-complaints-site-suit_x.htm ; and
Stacy Burling, “Blogs Can Help Boost a Career or Sink It,” September
13, 2005, downloaded at http://news.yahoo.com/s/sv/20050913/
tc_siliconvalley/_www12634035 .
Avoid saying that you cannot do something. Most negative messages exist because the writer or company has chosen certain policies or cutoff points. In the preceding
example, the company could choose to insure a wider variety of customers if it wanted
to do so.
Often you will enforce policies you did not design. Don’t pass the buck by saying,
“This is a terrible policy.” Carelessly criticizing your superiors is never a good idea. If you
really think a policy is bad, try to persuade your superiors to change it. If you can’t think of
convincing reasons to change the policy, maybe it isn’t so bad after all.
If you have several reasons for saying no, use only those that are strong and watertight. If you give five reasons and readers dismiss two of them, readers may feel that they’ve won
and should get the request.
Weak reason: You cannot store large bulky items in the dormitory over the summer because moving them into and out of storage would tie up the stairs and the elevators just
at the busiest times when people are moving in and out.
Way to dismiss We’ll move large items before or after the two days when most the reason: people are moving in or out.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 168loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 168 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 169
If you do not have a good reason, omit the reason rather than use a weak one. Even if
you have a strong reason, omit it if it makes the company look bad.
Reason that Our company is not hiring at the present time because profits hurts company: are down. In fact, the downturn has prompted top management to reduce the
salaried staff by 5% just this month, with perhaps more reductions to come.
Better: Our company does not have any openings now.
Refusals
Deemphasize the refusal by putting it in the same paragraph as the reason, rather than in a
paragraph by itself.
Sometimes you may be able to imply the refusal rather than stating it directly.
Direct refusal: You cannot get insurance for just one month. Implied refusal: The shortest term for an insurance policy is six months.
Be sure that the implication is crystal clear. Any message can be misunderstood, but an
optimistic or desperate reader is particularly unlikely to understand a negative message.
One of your purposes in a negative message is to close the door on the subject. You do not
want to have to write a second letter saying that the real answer is no.
Alternatives
Giving the reader an alternative or a compromise, if one is available,
• Offers the reader another way to get what he or she wants.
• Suggests that you really care about the reader and about helping to meet his or
her needs.
• Enables the reader to reestablish the psychological freedom you limited when you
said no. • Allows you to end on a positive note and to present yourself and your organization as
positive, friendly, and helpful.
When you give an alternative, give readers all the information they need to act on it, but
don’t take the necessary steps. Let readers decide whether to try the alternative.
Negative messages limit the reader’s freedom. People may respond to a limitation
of freedom by asserting their freedom in some other arena. Jack W. Brehm calls this
phenomenon psychological reactance. 1 Psychological reactance is at work when a cus- tomer who has been denied credit no longer buys even on a cash basis or a subordinate
who has been passed over for a promotion gets back at the company by deliberately
doing a poor job.
Instant Replay
Organizing Letters
to Customers
1. Give the reason for the
refusal before the refusal
itself when you have a
reason that readers will
understand and accept.
2. Give the negative just once,
clearly.
3. Present an alternative
or compromise, if one is
available.
4. End with a positive,
forward-looking statement.
I R
Organizing L
The alternative of working
from home may be sending
a negative message at the
office, according to a study
by Kimberly Elsbach, of the
University of California, Davis,
and Daniel Cable, of London
Business School. “Face time”
at the office generated a more
positive image of workers than
working outside the office.
Wrote Elsbach and Cable:
“Just being seen at work,
without any information about
what you’re actually doing,
leads people to think more
highly of you.”
Source: Chana R. Schoenberger, “Working from Home? Beware
a Career Hit,” The Wall Street
Journal, July 13, 2012, http://
blogs.wsj.com/atwork/2012/07/13/
working-from-home-beware-a-
careerhit/?KEYWORDS 5
good 1 news 1 .
Psychological reactance often triggers questionable behavior.
Non Sequitur © 1997 Wiley Miller. Reprinted by permission of Universal Uclick. All rights reserved.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 169loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 169 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
170 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Alternative
April 27, 2012
Mr. H. J. Moody Canton Corporation 2407 North Avenue Kearney, NE 68847
Subject: Bid Number 5853, Part Number D-40040
Dear Mr. Moody:
Thank you for requesting our quotation on your Part No. D-40040.
Your blueprints call for flame-cut rings 1/2" thick A516 grade 70. To use that grade, we’d have to grind down from 1" thick material. However, if you can use A515 grade 70, which we stock in 1/2" thick, you can cut the price by more than half.
Quantity Description Gross Weight Price/Each
75 Rings Drawing D-40040, 12 lbs. $15.08 A516 Grade 70 1" thick x 6" O.D. x 2.8" I.D. ground to .5" thick.
75 Rings Drawing D-40040, 6 lbs. $6.91 A515 Grade 70 1/2" thick x 6" O.D. x 2.8" I.D.
(Depending on circumstances,
different alternatives may exist.)
Leaves decision up to rea der to re-
establish psychological f reedom.
Buffer
Reason
“Serving the needs of America since 1890”
1800 Olney Avenue • Philadelphia, PA 19140 • 215•555•7800 • Fax: 215•555•9803
Stee l Fabrication Stee l Fabrication
If you can use A515 grade 70, let me know.
Sincerely,
Valerie Prynne VP:wc
Figure 11.3 A Refusal with an Alternative
An alternative allows the reader to react in a way that doesn’t hurt you. By letting read-
ers decide for themselves whether they want the alternative, you allow them to reestablish
their sense of psychological freedom.
The specific alternative will vary depending on the circumstances. In Figure 11.3 , the
company is unwilling to quote a price on an item on which it cannot be competitive. In dif-
ferent circumstances, the writer might offer different alternatives.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 170loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 170 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 171
Endings
If you have a good alternative, refer to it in your ending: “Let me know if you can use A515
grade 70.”
The best endings look to the future, as in this letter refusing to continue a charge account
for a customer who has moved. Journalist Lynze Wardle Lenio
notes that some types of
bosses make employees so
uncomfortable that she calls
them “toxic.’ The Slacker
spends most of his or her time
on trivial projects, only to panic
when deadlines approach.
The Land Mine explodes in
anger when, despite a long list
of successes, an employee
errs in some relatively minor
way. Knowing what type
of boss you have is vital to
understanding how best to
work with him or her. The good
news is that most bosses
want to work well with their
employees.
Source: Lynze Wardle Lenio, “4 Types of Toxic Bosses—and How
to Handle Them,” Forbes, May
25, 2012, http://www.forbes.com/
sites/dailymuse/2012/05/25/4-
types-of-toxic-bosses-and-how-to-
handlethem/ .
Shared Problem
Details
Alternatives
Request for Action
Figure 11.4 How to
Organize a Negative Memo to
Your Superior
Wherever you have your account, you’ll continue to get all the service you’ve learned
to expect from CHARGE-ALL and the convenience of charging items at over a million
stores, restaurants, and hotels in the U.S. and abroad—and in Knoxville, too, whenever
you come back to visit!
Avoid endings that seem insincere.
This ending lacks you-attitude and would not be good even in a positive message.
In a situation where the company has just refused to help, it’s likely to sound sarcastic
or mean.
Giving Bad News to Superiors
Your superior expects you to solve minor problems by yourself. But sometimes, solving a
problem requires more authority or resources than you have. When you give bad news to a
superior, also recommend a way to deal with the problem. Turn the negative message into
a persuasive one.
1. Describe the problem. Tell what’s wrong, clearly and unemotionally. 2. Tell how it happened. Provide the background. What underlying factors led to this
specific problem?
3. Describe the options for fixing it. If one option is clearly best, you may need to discuss only one. But if the reader will think of other options, or if different people
will judge the options differently, describe all the options, giving their advantages and
disadvantages.
4. Recommend a solution and ask for action. Ask for approval so you can to make the necessary changes to fix the problem.
Figure 11.4 summarizes the pattern.
We are happy to have been of service, and should we be able to assist you in the future,
please contact us.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 171loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 171 12/27/12 3:28 PM12/27/12 3:28 PM
Confirming pages
172 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Giving Bad News to Peers and Subordinates
When you must pass along serious bad news to peers and subordinates, use a variation of
the pattern to superiors:
1. Describe the problem. Tell what’s wrong, clearly and unemotionally. 2. Present an alternative or compromise, if one is available. An alternative gives readers
another way to get what they want and also suggests that you care about readers and
helping them meet their needs.
3. If possible, ask for input or action. People in the audience may be able to suggest solutions. And workers who help make a decision are far more likely to accept the
consequences.
Figure 11.5 summarizes this pattern.
No serious negative (such as being downsized or laid off) should come as a complete
surprise. Managers can prepare for possible negatives by giving full information as it
becomes available. It is also possible to let the people who will be affected by a decision
participate in setting the criteria. Someone who has bought into the criteria for awarding
cash for suggestions or retaining workers is more likely to accept decisions using such
criteria. And in some cases, the synergism of groups may make possible ideas that man-
agement didn’t think of or rejected as “unacceptable.” Some workplaces, for example,
might decide to reduce everyone’s pay slightly rather than laying off some individuals.
Employee suggestions enabled Mentor Training, a San Jose company providing software
training, to cut its payroll by 30% without laying off any full-time employees. 2
When the bad news is less serious, as in Figure 11.6 , use the pattern for negative letters
unless your knowledge of the reader(s) suggests that another pattern will be more effective.
For memos, the context of communication is crucial. The reader’s reaction is influenced
by the following factors:
• Do you and the reader have a good relationship?
• Does the organization treat people well?
• Have readers been warned of possible negatives?
• Have readers “bought into” the criteria for the decision?
• Do communications after the negative build goodwill?
When should I consider using a buffer? LO 11-4
▶ When the reader values harmony or when the buffer also serves another purpose.
To some writers and readers, the direct patterns used in the previous section may seem
too blunt. You may want to begin messages with a buffer when the reader (individually or
culturally) values harmony or when the buffer serves another purpose. For example, when
you must thank the reader somewhere in the letter, putting the “thank you” in the first para-
graph allows you to start on a positive note.
A buffer is a neutral or positive statement that allows you to delay the negative. Recent research suggests that buffers do not make readers respond more positively,
3 and good
buffers are very hard to write. However, in special situations, you may want to use a buffer.
Blogger and management
guru Peter Bregman believes
that honesty is “much more
compelling, powerful, and
effective than the alternative,”
and that employees want
honesty from bosses. He cites
a survey by one of his clients
that found, for instance, that
the number one behavior
distinguishing the best
managers from others is their
ability to honestly ask for help
from employees. Bregman’s
position is supported by others,
including author Terry Bacon,
whose findings published in
What People Want reveal that
honesty is the foremost thing
employees want from leaders.
Sources: Peter Bregman, “Do People Really Want You to Be
Honest?” Harvard Business Review,
January 10, 2012, http://blogs.hbr.
org/bregman/2012/01/do-people-
really-want-you-to-b.html ; and
“9 Things Employees Want from
Their Managers (and 5 Things They
Don’t),” Business Management
Daily, May 21, 2012, http://
www.businessmanagementdaily.
com/11630/9-things-employees-
want-from-theirmanagers-and-5-
things-they-dont .
Shared Problem
Alternatives
Request for Action
Figure 11.5 How to
Organize a Negative Memo to
Peers or Subordinates
Site to See
Go to
http://researchnews.osu. edu/archive/nobuffer.htm
for a summary of Kitty Locker’s
research on negative messages.
Go to
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 172loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 172 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 173
Date: January 10, 2013
To: All Employees
From: Floyd E. Loer, Dorothy A. Walters, and Stewart Mattson
Subject: Accounting for Work Missed Due to Bad Weather
Olentangy County Services are always open for our customers, whatever the weather. Employees who missed work during the snowstorm last week may count the absence as vacation, sick, or personal day(s).
Hourly workers who missed less than a day have the option of taking the missed time as vacation, sick, or personal hour(s) or of being paid only for the hour(s) they worked.
Approval of vacation or personal days will be automatic; the normal requirement of giving at least 24 hours’ notice is waived.
Thanks for all the efforts you have made to continue giving our customers the best possible service during one of the snowiest winters on record.
Reason
Refusal, stated as positively as possible
One small positive
Goodwill ending
Memo
Board of County Commissioners Olentangy County, Nebraska
Figure 11.6 A Negative Memo to Subordinates
Instant Replay
Organizing Bad News to
Superiors
1. Describe the problem.
2. Tell how it happened.
3. Describe the options for
fixing it.
4. Recommend a solution and
ask for action.
I R
Organizing B
To be effective, a buffer must put the reader in a good frame of mind, not give the bad
news but not imply a positive answer either, and provide a natural transition to the body
of the letter. The kinds of statements most often used as buffers are good news, facts and
chronologies of events, references to enclosures, thanks, and statements of principle.
1. Start with any good news or positive elements the letter contains.
Starting Thursday, June 26, you’ll have access to your money 24 hours a day at First
National Bank.
Letter announcing that the drive-up windows will be closed for two days while automatic teller machines are installed
2. State a fact or provide a chronology of events.
As a result of the new graduated dues schedule—determined by vote of the Delegate
Assembly last December and subsequently endorsed by the Executive Council—
members are now asked to establish their own dues rate and to calculate the total
amount of their remittance.
Announcement of a new dues structure that will raise most members’ dues
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 173loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 173 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
174 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
3. Refer to enclosures in the letter.
Instant Replay
Organizing Bad News to
Peers and Subordinates
1. Describe the problem.
2. Present an alternative
or compromise, if one is
available.
3. If possible, ask for input
or action.
I R
Organizing B
Enclosed is a new sticker for your car. You may pick up additional ones in the office if
needed. Please destroy old stickers bearing the signature of “L.S. LaVoie.”
Letter announcing increase in parking rental rates
Thank you for scheduling appointments for me with so many senior people at First
National Bank. My visit there March 14 was very informative.
Letter refusing a job offer
Good drivers should pay substantially less for their auto insurance. The Good Driver
Plan was created to reward good drivers (those with five-year accident-free records)
with our lowest available rates. A change in the plan, effective January 1, will help keep
those rates low.
Letter announcing that the company will now count traffic tickets, not just accidents, in calculating insurance rates—a
change that will raise many people’s premiums
4. Thank the reader for something he or she has done.
5. State a general principle.
Buffers are hard to write. Even if you think the reader would prefer to be let down
easily, use a buffer only when you can write a good one.
It’s better not to use a buffer (1) if the reader may ignore a letter with a bland first para- graph, (2) if the reader or the organization prefers “bottom-line-first messages,” (3) if the
reader is suspicious of the writer, or (4) if the reader “won’t take no for an answer.”
What are the most common kinds of negative messages? LO 11-5
▶ Rejections and refusals, disciplinary notices and negative performance appraisals, and layoffs and firings.
Among the most difficult kinds of negative messages to write are rejections and refusals,
disciplinary notices and negative performance appraisals, and layoffs and firings.
Rejections and Refusals
When you refuse requests from people outside your organization, try to use a buffer. Give
an alternative if one is available. For example, if you are denying credit, it may still be pos-
sible for the reader to put an expensive item on layaway.
Politeness and length help. Graduating seniors at a southwestern university pre-
ferred rejection letters that addressed them as Mr./Ms. rather than calling them by
Being fired from a job is usually
the worst kind of message
an employee can receive, but
sometimes the reasons add
insult to injury. When a yoga
instructor gave a stern look to
a Facebook employee texting
in the middle of half-moon
pose, she had no idea it would
lead to her termination from
the third-party contractor
she worked for. Included in
her termination letter was a
complaint from the employee.
Fourteen employees at the
law offices of Elizabeth R.
Wellborn were fired, allegedly
for all wearing orange shirts on
the same day. And employees
have been let go after using
social media to express their
opinions, including a bartender
who griped online about having
to help waitresses serve food
but not being allowed to share
their tips.
Sources: Deanne Katz, “Yoga Teacher Fired for Telling Facebook
Employee ‘No Phones,’” July
13, 2012, http://www.reuters.
com/article/2012/07/13/
tagblogsfindlawcom2012-
legallyweird-idUS134598
457920120713 ; Eric Pfeiffer,
(continued)
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 174loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 174 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 175
their first names, that said something specific about their good qualities, that phrased
the refusal itself indirectly, and that were longer. 4 An experiment using a denial of
additional insurance found that subjects preferred a rejection letter that was lon-
ger, more tactful, and more personal. The preferred letter started with a buffer, used
a good reason for the refusal, and offered a sales promotion in the last paragraph.
The finding held both for English-speaking U.S. subjects and for Spanish-speaking
Mexican subjects. 5
When you refuse requests within your organization, use your knowledge of the organi-
zation’s culture and of the specific individual to craft your message. In some organizations,
it may be appropriate to use company slogans, offer whatever help already-established
departments can give, and refer to the individual’s good work. In less personal organiza-
tions, a simple negative without embellishment may be more appropriate.
Disciplinary Notices and Negative Performance Appraisals
Present disciplinary notices and negative performance appraisals directly, with no buffer.
A buffer might encourage the recipient to minimize the message’s importance—and might
even become evidence in a court case that the employee had not been told to shape up “or
else.” Cite quantifiable observations of the employee’s behavior, rather than generaliza-
tions or inferences based on it. If an employee is disciplined by being laid off without pay,
specify when the employee is to return.
Performance appraisals are discussed in detail in Module 12 on persuasive messages.
Performance appraisals will be persuasive when they are designed to help a basically good
employee improve. But when an employee violates a company rule or fails to improve
after repeated appraisals, the company may discipline the employee or build a dossier to
support firing him or her.
Layoffs and Firings
Information about layoffs and firings is normally delivered orally but accompanied by a
written statement explaining severance pay or unemployment benefits that may be avail-
able. The written statement should start either with the reason or with the decision itself. A
buffer would not be appropriate.
If a company is in financial trouble, management needs to communicate the problem
clearly long before it is necessary to lay anyone off. Sharing information and enlisting
everyone’s help in finding solutions may make it possible to save jobs. Sharing informa-
tion also means that layoff notices, if they become necessary, will be a formality; they
should not be new information to employees.
Before you fire someone, double-check the facts. Make sure the employee has been told
about the problem and that he or she will be fired if the problem is not corrected. Give the
employee the real reason for the firing. Offering a face-saving reason unrelated to poor
performance can create legal liabilities. But avoid broadcasting the reason to other people:
to do so can leave the company liable to a defamation suit. 6
How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module? LO 11-6
▶ Plan your activities and answer the PAIBOC questions.
Before you tackle the assignments for this module, examine the following problem.
Figure 11.7 lists the necessary activities. As in Module 10, the PAIBOC questions probe
Harvard College received
kudos for the softer tone of its
rejection letters to applicants,
which included statements like,
“Past experience suggests that
the particular college a student
attends is far less important
than what the student does to
develop his or her strengths and
talents over the next four years.”
Source: “Rejection: Some Colleges Do It Better than Others,” The Wall
Street Journal, April 29, 2009, B9.
Instant Replay
Effective Buffers
To be effective, a buffer must
put the reader in a good frame
of mind, not give the bad
news but not imply a positive
answer either, and provide a
natural transition to the body
of the letter.
I R
Effective Bu
“Law Firm Fires 14 Employees for Wearing Orange Shirts,” March 19, 2012, http://news. yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/
law-firm-fires-14-employees-
wearing-orangeshirts-181404912.
html; and Kashmir Hill, “When You
Can and Can’t Fire Employees
for Social Media Misbehavior,”
Forbes, September 25, 2011,
http://www.forbes.com/sites/
kashmirhill/2011/08/25/when-
you-can-and-cant-fire-employees-
forsocial-media-misbehavior/.
(continued)
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 175loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 175 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
176 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
the basic points required for a solution. Study the two sample solutions to see what makes
one unacceptable and the other one good. The checklist at the end of the module in
Figure 11.10 can help you evaluate a draft.
Problem
You’re Director of Employee Benefits for a Fortune 500 company. Today, you received the
following memo:
A problem for Denmark’s Lego
Group, makers of the wildly
popular blocks and play sets,
may be that too many of the
company’s toys are marketed
to boys at the expense of
girls and thus send a negative
message. Critics observe that
of the 545 offerings from the
company, almost all cater
to concepts traditionally
associated with boys: trains,
rockets, helicopters, and
spaceships. Said Peggy
Orenstein, author of Cinderella
Ate My Daughter, a satirical
look at how the toy industry
exploits the “princess phase”
for girls, “They might as well
have a No Girls Allowed Sign.”
Gender stereotyping aside,
the company’s solution is to
introduce more toys aimed
specifically at girls, including
“American Girl Dolls” and
“Lego Friends,” or kits that
let girls choose from multiple
scenarios while building and
socializing with each other.
Figure 11.7 Allocating Time in Writing a Negative Memo (Your time may vary.)
Memo denying matching funds. Total time: 3 hours
Planning
Understand the situation.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1). Think about document design (◀◀ Module 5). Organize the message.
1 hour
Writing
Draft the memo.
½ hour
Revising
Reread draft.
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions and checklist
for negative messages (Figure 11.10).
Revise draft.
Ask for feedback.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Initial memo.
Put in interoffice mail.
1½ hours
From: Michelle Jagtiani
Subject: Getting My Retirement Benefits
Next Friday will be my last day here. I am leaving [name of company] to take a position
at another firm.
Please process a check for my retirement benefits, including both the deductions from
my salary and the company’s contributions for the last three and a half years. I would
like to receive the check by next Friday if possible.
You have bad news for Michelle. Although the company does contribute an amount
to the retirement fund equal to the amount deducted for retirement from the employee’s
paycheck, employees who leave with less than five years of employment get only their
own contributions. Michelle will get back only the money that has been deducted from her
Delivering bad news is
especially tough when it comes
to firing someone. Jonathan
A. Segal suggests avoiding
common phrases like “We had
no choice but to terminate your
employment”—justifications
that may actually anger the
employee.
Source: Jonathan A. Segal, “10 Things Not to Say When Firing
an Employee,” BusinessWeek,
November 17, 2009, http://
www.businessweek.com/
managing/content/nov2009/
ca2009119_982182.htm .
(continued)
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 176loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 176 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 177
own pay, plus 4% interest compounded quarterly. Her payments and interest come to just
over $17,200; the amount could be higher depending on the amount of her last paycheck,
which will include compensation for any unused vacation days and sick leave. Further-
more, because the amounts deducted were not considered taxable income, she will have to
pay income tax on the money she will receive.
You cannot process the check until after her resignation is effective, so you will mail it
to her. You have her home address on file; if she’s moving, she needs to let you know where
to send the check. Processing the check may take two to three weeks.
Write a memo to Michelle.
Analysis of the Problem
P What are your purposes in writing or speaking?
To tell her that she will get only her own contributions, plus 4% interest
compounded quarterly; that the check will be mailed to her home address two to
three weeks after her last day on the job; and that the money will be taxable as
income.
To build goodwill so that she feels she has been treated fairly and consistently.
To minimize negative feelings she may have.
To close the door on this subject.
A Who is (are) your audience(s)? How do the members of your audience differ from each other? What characteristics are relevant to this particular message?
Michelle Jagtiani. Unless she’s a personal friend, I probably wouldn’t know why
she’s leaving and where she’s going.
There’s a lot I don’t know. She may or may not know much about taxes; she
may or may not be able to take advantage of tax-reduction strategies. I can’t
assume the answers because I wouldn’t have them in real life.
I What information must your message include?
When the check will come. The facts that the check will be based on her
contributions, not her employer’s, and that the money will be taxable income. How
lump-sum retirement benefits are calculated. The fact that we have her current
address on file but need a new address if she’s moving.
B What reasons or reader benefits can you use to support your position?
Giving the amount currently in her account may make her feel she is getting a
significant sum of money. Suggesting someone who can give free tax advice (if
the company offers this as a fringe benefit) reminds her of the benefits of working
with the company. Wishing her luck with her new job is a nice touch.
O What objections can you expect your reader(s) to have? What negative elements of your message must you deemphasize or overcome?
She is getting about half the amount she expected, because she gets no matching
funds.
She might have been able to earn more than 4% interest if she had invested the
money herself. Depending on her personal tax situation, she may pay more tax on
the money as a lump sum than would have been due had she paid it each year as
she earned the money.
C How will the context affect the reader’s response? Think about your relationship to the reader, morale in the organization, the economy, the time of year, and any special
circumstances.
The stock market has been doing poorly; 4% interest is pretty good.
Though more education
typically translates into
more income and higher job
satisfaction, a recent study by
GfK Custom Research North
America suggests employees
with the most education also
experience the most workplace
stress. Concerns about
job security and dwindling
workplace resources are
affecting Americans with
advanced degrees, leading to
a rise in voluntary workplace
turnover despite tough
economic times. What seems
like an obvious benefit can
sometimes come with hidden
detriments.
Source: Chad Brooks, “Best- Educated Americans Experience
the Most Stress at Work,” Business
News Daily, June 14, 2011, http://
www.businessnewsdaily.com/
work-related-stress-1403/ .
Source: Brad Wieners, “Lego Is for Girls,” Bloomberg Businessweek,
December 14, 2011, http://
www.businessweek.com/printer/
articles/21120-lego-is-for-girls.
(continued)
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 177loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 177 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
178 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Give reason before refusal.
April 20, 2013
To: Michelle Jagtiani
From Lisa Niaz
Subject Denial of Matching Funds
You cannot receive a check the last day of work and you will get only your own contributions, not a matching sum from the company, because you have not worked for the company for at least five full years.
Your payments and interest come to just over $17,200; the amount could be higher depending on the amount of your last paycheck, which will include compensation for any unused vacation days and sick leave. Furthermore, since the amounts deducted were not considered taxable income, you will have to pay income tax on the money you receive.
The check will be sent to your home address. If the address we have on file is incorrect, please correct it so that your check is not delayed.
This is lifted straight from the problem. The language in problems is often negative and stuffy; information is
disorganized.
Think about the situation , and use your own words
to
create a satisfactory me ssage.
Negative
How will reader know wha t you have on file?
Better to give current ad dress as you have it.
Better to be specific
Figure 11.8 An Unacceptable Solution to the Sample Problem
Discussion of the Sample Solutions
The solution in Figure 11.8 is not acceptable. The subject line gives a blunt negative with
no reason or alternative. The first sentence has a condescending tone that is particularly
offensive in negative messages. The last sentence focuses on what is being taken away
rather than what remains. Paragraph 2 lacks you-attitude and is vague. The memo ends
with a negative. There is nothing anywhere in the memo to build goodwill.
The solution in Figure 11.9 , in contrast, is very good. The policy serves as a buffer and
explanation. The negative is stated clearly but is buried in the paragraph to avoid overem-
phasizing it. The paragraph ends on a positive note by specifying the amount in the account
and the fact that the sum might be even higher.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 178loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 178 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 179
April 20, 2013
To: Michelle Jagtiani
From: Lisa Niaz
Subject: Receiving Employee Contributions from Retirement Accounts
Employees who leave the company with at least five full years of employment are entitled both to the company contributions and the retirement benefit paycheck deductions contributed to retirement accounts. Those employees who leave the company with less than five years of employment will receive the employee paycheck contributions made to their retirement accounts.
You now have $17,240.62 in your account, which includes 4% interest compounded quarterly. The amount you receive could be even higher since you will also receive payment for any unused sick leave and vacation days.
Because you now have access to the account, the amount you receive will be considered taxable income. Beth Jordan in Employee Financial Services can give you information about possible tax deductions and financial investments which can reduce your income taxes.
The check will be sent to your home address on May 16. The address we have on file is 2724 Merriman Road, Akron, Ohio 44313. If your address changes, please let us know so you can receive your check promptly.
Good luck with your new job!
Good to be specific
Forward-looking
Positive
Good to show how company
can help
Good to state
reason in
third-per son
to deempha
size
negative
Good to b e
specific
Figure 11.9 A Good Solution to the Sample Problem
Paragraph 3 contains the additional negative information that the amount will be tax-
able but offers the alternative that it may be possible to reduce taxes. The writer builds
goodwill by suggesting a specific person the reader could contact.
Paragraph 4 tells the reader what address is in the company files (Michelle may not
know whether the files are up-to-date), asks that she update it if necessary, and ends with
the reader’s concern: getting her check promptly.
The final paragraph ends on a positive note. This generalized goodwill is appropriate
when the writer does not know the reader well.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 179loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 179 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Confirming pages
180 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
h Is the subject line appropriate? h If a buffer is used, does it avoid suggesting either a positive or a negative response? h Is the reason, if it is given, presented before the refusal? Is the reason watertight,
with no loopholes?
h Is the negative information clear? h Is an alternative given if a good one is available? Does the message provide all the
information needed to act on the alternative but leave the choice up to the reader?
h Does the last paragraph avoid repeating the negative information? h Is tone acceptable—not defensive, but not cold, preachy, or arrogant either?
And, for all messages, not just negative ones,
h Does the message use you-attitude and positive emphasis? h Is the style easy to read and friendly? h Is the visual design of the message inviting? h Is the format correct? h Does the message use standard grammar? Is it free from typos?
Originality in a negative message may come from
h An effective buffer, if one is appropriate. h A clear, complete statement of the reason for the refusal. h A good alternative, clearly presented, which shows that you’re thinking about what
the reader really needs.
h Adding details that show you’re thinking about a specific organization and the spe- cific people in that organization.
Checklist for
Negative Messages
h
CC ff
Figure 11.10
Summary of Learning Objectives
• When you give bad news to superiors, use a subject line that
focuses on solving the problem. (LO 11-1) • When you write to peers and subordinates, put the topic (but not
your action on it) in the subject line. (LO 11-1) • Organize negative letters in this way: (LO 11-2) 1. Give the reason for the refusal before the refusal itself when
you have a reason that readers will understand and accept.
2. Give the negative just once, clearly.
3. Present an alternative or compromise, if one is available.
4. End with a positive, forward-looking statement.
• Organize negative memos to superiors in this way: (LO 11-2) 1. Describe the problem.
2. Tell how it happened.
3. Describe the options for fixing it.
4. Recommend a solution and ask for action.
• When you must pass along serious bad news to peers and subor-
dinates, use a variation of the pattern to superiors: (LO 11-2) 1. Describe the problem.
2. Present an alternative or compromise, if one is available.
3. If possible, ask for input or action.
• When the bad news is less serious, use the pattern for nega-
tive letters unless your knowledge of the reader(s) suggests that
another pattern will be more effective. (LO 11-2) • A good reason must be watertight. Give several reasons only if
all are watertight and are of comparable importance. Omit the
reason for the refusal if it is weak or if it makes your organiza-
tion look bad. (LO 11-2) • Giving the reader an alternative or a compromise (LO 11-2) • Offers the reader another way to get what he or she wants.
• Suggests that you really care about the reader and about
helping to meet his or her needs.
• Enables the reader to reestablish the psychological freedom
you limited when you said no. • Allows you to end on a positive note and to present yourself
and your organization as positive, friendly, and helpful.
• People may respond to limits by striking out in some perhaps
unacceptable way. This effort to reestablish freedom is called
psychological reactance. (LO 11-2) • When you give an alternative, give the reader all the informa-
tion he or she needs to act on it, but don’t take the necessary
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 180loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 180 12/27/12 3:29 PM12/27/12 3:29 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 181
steps for the reader. Letting the reader decide whether to try the
alternative allows the reader to reestablish a sense of psycho-
logical freedom. (LO 11-2) • Thinking about the legal implications of what you say is par-
ticularly important in negative messages. (LO 11-3) • Think about how a reasonable person might interpret your
words.
• If that interpretation isn’t what you mean, revise the passage
so that it says what you mean.
• Use a buffer when the reader values harmony or when the buffer
serves a purpose in addition to simply delaying the negative. A
buffer is a neutral or positive statement that allows you to bury the negative message. Buffers must put the reader in a good
frame of mind, not give the bad news but not imply a positive
answer either, and provide a natural transition to the body of the
letter. (LO 11-4) • The kinds of statements most often used as buffers are (1)
good news, (2) facts and chronologies of events, (3) refer-
ences to enclosures, (4) thanks, and (5) statements of principle.
(LO 11-4) • Rejections and refusals, disciplinary notices and negative per-
formance appraisals, and layoffs and firings are the most com-
mon kinds of negative messages. (LO 11-5) • Use the PAIBOC questions listed in Module 1 to examine the
basic points needed for successful informative and positive
messages. (LO 11-6)
Assignments for Module 11
11.1 How should a negative letter to customers or clients be organized? (LO 11-2)
11.2 Why is giving an alternative or a compromise, if one exists, a good idea? (LO 11-2)
11.3 How should a negative memo to a superior be organized? (LO 11-2)
11.4 What are the most common types of buffers? (LO 11-4)
Questions for Comprehension
11.5 How do you use positive emphasis in a negative message? (LO 11-2, LO 11-3)
11.6 How do you decide whether to give the negative directly or to buffer it? (LO 11-4)
11.7 How do specific varieties of negative messages adapt the basic pattern? (LO 11-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Dear Renter:
Effective March 1, the rent for your parking space will go up $10 a month. However, our parking lot is still
not the most expensive in town.
Many of you have asked us to provide better snow and ice removal and to post signs saying that all
spaces are rented so that a car can be towed if it parks in your space. Signs will be posted by March 1,
and, if we get any more snow, Acme Company has contracted to have the lot cleared by 7 a.m.
Enclosed is a new parking sticker. Please hang it on your rearview mirror.
Sincerely,
A. E. Jackson
Exercises and Problems
11.8 Revising a Negative Message (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
Rewrite and reorganize the following negative message to
make it more positive. Eliminate any sentences that are not
needed.
For years, businesses have had suggestion programs,
rewarding employees for money-saving ideas. Now your
city government has adopted such a program. But not all of
the suggestions are adopted. Today, you need to send mes-
sages to the following people. Because their suggestions
are being rejected, they will not get any cash.
1. Diane Hilgers, secretary, mayor’s office. Suggestion:
Charge for 911 calls. Reason for rejection: “This would
be a public relations disaster. We already charge for
ambulance or paramedic trips; to charge just for the call
will offend people. And it might not save money. It’s a
lot cheaper to prevent a burglary or murder than to track
11.9 Rejecting Employees’ Suggestions (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 181loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 181 25/01/13 9:35 PM25/01/13 9:35 PM
Rev.confirming pages
182 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
In any organization, things sometimes go wrong. Tell your
supervisor about a problem in your unit and recommend
what should be done.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Prepare notes for a meeting with your supervisor.
b. Write an e-mail message to your supervisor.
c. Write a memo to your supervisor.
d. Give an oral presentation on the problem.
e. Write a memo to your instructor explaining the problem,
the corporate culture, and the reasons for your solution.
11.10 Telling the Boss about a Problem (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
Because individual tastes are varied, your company
does not offer refunds when a moviegoer dislikes a film,
and trailers before the movie are standard.
However, your theaters recently went to the contro-
versial policy of reducing power on the movie projector
bulbs. Doing so cuts electricity costs and may prolong
the life of the expensive bulbs. For most films, the dif-
ference in screen quality is negligible, but for films with
dark cinematography, like horror movies, some scenes are
difficult to see.
Though the tone of Mr. McCann’s letter offends you,
he might have a valid point about the screen quality. There-
fore, you are willing to offer him a 50% discount on his
next ticket purchase.
Write a letter to Mr. McCann informing him of your
decision.
You are the regional manager of a movie theater chain.
Recently, you received this letter:
11.11 Responding to a Demand for a Refund (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
Your organization employs far more part-time than full-
time workers. Part-timers are paid hourly, up to 15 hours
per week, and full-timers are salaried under contract for 40
hours per week.
Both groups share many job responsibilities, though
full-timers are also expected to take leadership roles that
require their attendance in meetings, on committees, and
at community programs. For part-timers, participation is
voluntary. To encourage more part-timers to participate,
though, one of your managers decided to start paying them
extra for their attendance.
Now several full-timers are protesting the move.
While they are sympathetic to paying part-timers for
additional time, the full-timers note their duties often
require them to spend more than 40 hours per week on
the job. Because raises and promotions are tied to man-
ager evaluations, they believe they are being pressured
to participate without additional compensation. Paying
part-timers but not full-timers for extra time only exacer-
bates the situation.
The manager believes that part-timers are already
underpaid for doing many of the same duties as full-timers,
that full-timers should be grateful to have jobs with ben-
efits, and that full-timers should be motivated by more than
money to attend. The full-timers should be held to a higher
standard as role models for the part-timers.
You checked with your Human Resources Department
and found that because attendance by part-timers is volun-
tary, paying them extra is inappropriate. In addition, recent
high-profile lawsuits for overtime pay have resulted in even
salaried workers expecting compensation for work beyond
40 hours per week. Therefore, you must end the program
started by the manager and find a way to reign in the extra
hours full-timers may be working.
Write a memo informing all employees that the extra
pay program will end in two weeks.
11.12 A Difficult Negative Message—Taking Away Extra Pay (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
I want my money back! I paid $9 to see The Monster’s Bride, and because the screen was so dark, I could hardly see anything at all. Half the time, the screen was almost pitch black! Besides that, the movie
was total garbage and nothing like the advertising suggested. And why did I have to sit through half
an hour of trailers before the movie? You should pay me for wasting my time. You guys are a bunch of
crooks.
Sincerely,
Glenn McCann
down the person afterward—to say nothing of the trauma
of the loss or death. Bad idea.”
2. Steve Rieneke, building and grounds supervisor. Sugges-
tion: Fire the city’s public relations specialists. Reason
for rejection: “Positive attitudes toward city workers and
policies make the public more willing to support public
programs and taxes. We think this is money well spent.”
3. Jose Rivera, accountant I. Suggestion: Schedule city
council meetings during the day to save on light bills
and staff overtime. Reason for rejection: “Having the
meetings in the evening enables more citizens to attend.
Open meetings are essential so that citizens don’t feel
that policies and taxes are being railroaded through.”
4. Martin Schultz, data center help desk assistant. Suggestion:
Rather than provide free dial-up access, make employees
working from home pay for their own Internet connection.
Reason for rejection: “The cost of providing access through
dial-up is negligible and offset by the increased productivity
of employees who voluntarily work from home during times
when they would be commuting. Employees also pay their
own utility costs and are more likely to work after hours.”
Write the messages.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 182loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 182 25/01/13 9:36 PM25/01/13 9:36 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 183
11.13 Announcing the Elimination of a Position (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
Your organization is facing a significant budget shortfall,
and in addition to cuts in office supplies and the travel
budget, your department must eliminate one position.
Though you can make a case for keeping everyone in the
department, you have no choice, and the only position that
seems possible to cut is Robin’s, the department secre-
tary. After much deliberation, you decide to eliminate the
position.
Now you must announce this decision to the depart-
ment. You expect people to be troubled because Robin is
a popular and hard worker and has been with the depart-
ment for three years. There’s more, though. Once Rob-
in’s position is eliminated, the work must still be done.
That means the rest of the staff will have to help cover
the phones, make their own copies, process their own
paperwork, create files and archive them, and so forth.
People are already used to typing their own correspon-
dence, but they will also have to make sure copies are
properly filed. People will have to take turns sorting the
mail. The list of Robin’s duties goes on.
Write an e-mail message to the staff informing them that
Robin’s last day is in two weeks and that the changes to
cover her work will go into effect then.
Hints:
• Think about the emotional impact losing a colleague can
have on the department. How can you help soften the
blow? What fears might people have about their own job
security?
• Care must be taken to avoid the impression that Robin is
being let go for any other reason than the budget. Keep
in mind, however, that confidentiality issues may affect
what you can say and how much.
• You like Robin and regret having to eliminate the posi-
tion, but is it wise to criticize the company or appear irri-
tated by the decision?
11.14 Telling Retirees They Must Switch to HMOs (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
Your company has traditionally provided health insur-
ance not only to employees but also to retirees who have
worked for the company for at least 20 years at the time of
retirement.
Seven years ago, you cut costs for employee health
insurance by switching from open-ended insurance to
health maintenance organizations (HMOs). At that time,
you kept open-ended insurance for retirees because
your employees told you that retirees wanted to keep
their current doctors. But the high cost of that program
gives you no choice: to continue to insure retirees, you
must hold down costs, and HMOs offer the best way of
doing that.
Under the current plan, the retiree pays 20% of all costs
(up to a yearly ceiling of $10,000 and a lifetime ceiling of
$100,000) and you pay 80%. In an HMO, more costs will
be covered. Routine doctors’ visits, for example, charge
only a $10 co-payment. Most tests, such as mammograms,
X-rays, and blood work, are covered 100%. Hospitalization
is covered completely, and there’s much less paperwork.
By presenting one’s card when one fills a prescription,
one pays only the copayment, rather than having to pay
the entire amount and then filing for partial reimbursement
later.
The bad news for retirees is that they have to go to a
physician listed with the HMO. If the current physician is
not on the list, the retiree will have to switch doctors to
retain benefits. Furthermore, the primary care physician
must refer the patient to any other health care providers.
That is, someone who wants to see a specialist or go to
the emergency room must call the primary care physician
first. Primary care physicians always approve such referrals
whenever they seem medically advisable, but the require-
ment does limit the patient’s freedom. Further, since HMOs
are paid a flat fee and therefore have an incentive to give
care that costs less than that fee, some people fear that
HMOs will be reluctant to prescribe expensive treatments,
even when those treatments are essential.
Your company offers a choice of HMOs. Informational
meetings will be held next month for retirees (and anyone
else who wishes to attend) to explain the various options.
Retirees must return a card within two months, indicat-
ing which plan they prefer. The card will be enclosed in
the mailing. Anyone who does not return a card will be
assigned a plan by the company.
As vice president for human resources, write a form
letter to all retirees, explaining the change and telling them
how to indicate which HMO they prefer.
Hints:
• Choose a business, government, or nonprofit organiza-
tion that you know something about.
• About how many retirees do you have? What percentage
are “young old” (under 80, in reasonably good health)?
What percentage are “old old” (80 and over, sometimes
with more serious health problems)?
• How well educated are your retirees? How easy will it be
for them to understand the HMO options?
• What times would be convenient for the retirees to come
to meetings? Should you have extra times for them,
beyond those you’ve scheduled for employees?
11.15 Telling a Customer an Item Is No Longer Available (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6) You manage the customer service department for an online
company that sells discontinued and out-of-season items
from department stores at a discount. Your web page oper-
ates 24 hours a day, and you frequently have sales to attract
customers to the site. Therefore, the items being offered
and their prices can change without warning.
Recently, you received this e-mail message from a
customer:
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 183loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 183 12/27/12 3:30 PM12/27/12 3:30 PM
Confirming pages
184 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
You’ve researched Ms. Bergman’s claim and found
that she did try to order the chaise the previous evening.
While you have no record that the Online Help function
was unavailable, it has crashed before.
However, the chaise has already sold out. You can
see from the time stamp that two were available when
Ms. Bergman e-mailed. The last one sold an hour before
you got her message. You’ve researched the history of the
chaise and found that it is part of a discontinued line. You
don’t expect to get any more.
You can offer her a similar chair in brown leather and
give her a coupon worth 5% off (on top of any other dis-
count) on future orders. However, there is nothing you can
do about the black leather chaise.
Write a response to Ms. Bergman.
11.16 Rejecting a Suggestion (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
Your company has a suggestion system that encourages
workers to submit suggestions that will save the organization
money or improve safety, customer service, or morale. If a
suggestion is accepted that will save the company money, its
proposer gets 10% of the estimated first year’s savings. If a
suggestion is accepted but will not save money, the proposer
gets $25. You chair the committee that makes the decisions.
Today, you must tell Wayne Andersen that the commit-
tee has rejected his suggestion to buy a second photocopy-
ing machine for the sales department. Wayne pointed out
that the sales department occupies a whole floor, yet has
only one copier. Although the copier is in the center of the
room (by the coffee and vending machines), some people
have to walk quite a distance to get to it. Of course, they
often stop to talk to the people they pass. Wayne calculated
how much time people waste walking to the copier and
talking to co-workers multiplied by annual salaries com-
pared to the shorter time needed to walk to one of two copi-
ers, each located to serve half the floor. He calculated that
the company could save the cost of a $10,000 machine in
just six months, with a further $10,000 savings by the end
of the first year.
No one on the committee liked Wayne’s idea.
“I don’t trust his numbers. After all, lots of people combine
trips to the copier with a trip to get a cup of coffee or a cola.
They’d do even more walking if they had to make two trips.”
“He talks about people waiting in line to use the copier, but
I’m in sales, and I know the copier really isn’t used that much.
Sure, there are some bottlenecks—especially when reports are
due—but a lot of the time the machine just sits there.”
“I’m worried about the economy. I don’t think this is the
time to spend money we don’t have to spend.”
“I guess his system would be more efficient. But the real
savings comes not from less walking but from less talking.
And I think we want people to talk to each other. Informal conversations are great for relieving stress, sharing ideas, and
strengthening our loyalty to each other and to the company.”
“I agree. I think our company is built on informal inter-
change and a sense that you don’t have to account for every
single minute. Our people are almost all on salary; they stay
overtime without any extra pay. If someone wants to take a
break and talk to someone, I think that’s OK.”
“Well, sometimes we do waste time talking. But his idea
isn’t really new. Lots of people think we could save money
by buying more of every kind of equipment. Even if we get
a copier, I don’t think he should get any money.”
You pointed out that even if a new copier didn’t save as
much money as Wayne predicted, it would shorten the lines
when lots of people have copying to do. You suggested
adopting his suggestion but reducing the estimated savings
and therefore the award. But the committee rejected your
compromise and the suggestion. As chair of the committee,
you vote only to break a tie.
Write a message to Wayne, reporting the committee’s
decision.
Hints:
• What reason(s) should you give for the committee’s decision?
• Should you tell Wayne that you disagreed with the majority?
• How can you encourage Wayne to continue to submit
suggestions?
11.17 Announcing Cost-Savings Measures (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6) Your company has to cut costs but would prefer to avoid
laying off workers. Therefore, you have adopted the follow-
ing money-saving ideas. Some can be implemented imme-
diately; some will be implemented at renewal dates. The
company will no longer pay for
• Flowers at the receptionist’s desk and in executive
offices.
• Skyboxes for professional sporting events.
• Employees’ dues for professional and trade organizations.
• Liquor at business meals.
I’m a member of the National Teacher’s Federation, which entitles me to a 15% discount on items ordered
at your site. Last night, I tried to order a leather chaise lounge. I added the item to my shopping cart, but the
discount was not applied. I tried again and got the same result. When I went to the “Online Help” link, an
error message said the help function was unavailable. Therefore, I’m contacting you by e-mail.
Would you help me order the chaise with my discount? The item number is 234323ALC2. I’d like it in black, please.
The chaise is a college graduation gift for my daughter, and I’ve been searching for one like it for months.
Right now, you’re the only vendor who carries this chaise, so any help you can provide would be much
appreciated!
Thank you.
Macy Bergman
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 184loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 184 12/27/12 3:30 PM12/27/12 3:30 PM
Confirming pages
Module 11 Negative Messages 185
Only essential business travel will be approved. The
company will pay only for the lowest cost of air travel
(coach, reservation 7 to 14 days in advance).
The company will no longer buy tables or blocks of
tickets for charitable events and will not make any dona-
tions to charity until money is less tight.
Counters will be put on the photocopiers. People must
have access numbers to make photocopies; personal photo-
copies will cost $ .10 a page.
As the chief financial officer, write a memo to all
employees, explaining the changes.
11.18 Closing Bill-Payment Offices (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6) For many years, City Gas & Electric had five suburban offices
to which people could take their payments. On the first of the
month following next month, you’re closing these offices.
On that date, 100 local merchants, such as grocers, will
begin to accept utility payments. Closing the freestanding
offices will save your company almost $3 million a year.
Customers will still be able to mail in payments or have them
deducted automatically from their paychecks.
Write a notice that can be inserted in utility bills this
month and next month.
11.19 Giving a Customer Less Credit than She Wants (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
Yang-Ming Lee applied for your Visa card, asking for a
credit limit of $15,000 and a separate card for her husband,
Chad Hoang. Her credit references merit granting a credit
card. But you generally give new customers only a $7,500
limit, even when the family income is very high, as it is in
this case. You might make an exception if your bank had a
previous relationship with the client, but no such relation-
ship exists here. While you have no set policy for reviewing
and raising credit limits, normally you would expect at least
six months of paying the minimum amount promptly.
Write a letter to Ms. Lee, granting her a credit card with
a $7,500 limit.
11.20 Addressing an Allegation about Racism by Employees (LO 11-1 to LO 11-6)
You are the human resources director for Kelly Green’s
Midwest division. Two of your employees stand accused
of being racist toward a customer. In the customer’s letter
to you, she states,
You are understandably shocked by the letter, and your
shock grows to dismay when you discover the surveillance
video that could provide a visual record of the event has
been anonymously erased.
The clerks in question, one a 19-year-old male and the
other a 21-year-old female, were both hired at the same
time and only a month before. But already the male clerk
has been warned about arriving to work late twice, and the
female clerk was involved in an argument with a customer
over a return.
Kelly Green has a strong policy against discrimina-
tion of customers as well as employees, but other than the
word of the customer, you have no conclusive proof that the
clerks behaved so inappropriately. They both deny the inci-
dent happened. The manager who ordinarily would have
been in the store was on her way back from making the
afternoon deposit at the bank. At the same time, you see no
reason to disbelieve the customer, whose thoughtful tone in
particular impresses you.
Your solution, although imperfect, is to document the
alleged incident in both clerks’ personnel files, along with a
reprimand to everyone on duty that day for the surveillance
video being erased. In addition to that, you are requiring
that all employees in the store attend diversity training.
Write a letter to Ms. Oranto explaining what will be
done.
Today I visited your Kelly Green apparel store in downtown Chicago. In what was probably the most dis-
turbing experience of my life—and I’m a 45-year-old registered nurse—the male clerk decided to verbally
attack me, saying, “I really hope you can speak English” and “I don’t think someone like you can afford our
merchandise.” He said this soon after I entered the store.
When I went to try on the silk blouse I’d come to purchase, I heard him outside the dressing room chant-
ing, “Ching chong, ching chong.” There was also a female clerk on duty, and I heard them both laughing.
I’ve been shopping at that Kelly Green store for two years. I’ve never seen either employee before, and I’ve
certainly never been treated there like this in the past. When my family emigrated to the United States from
the Philippines 60 years ago, they met prejudice, but I don’t think they could have imagined that in this day
and age Americans would still be so pointlessly vicious to other Americans.
I’m not writing to you with the expectation of being compensated nor to threaten a lawsuit. I simply want
you to know that you have employees whose idea of civility is deeply flawed. The clerks are young, and I
hope you can use this experience to teach them a better understanding of the dignity all people deserve.
Thank you.
Lila Oranto
P.S. I’d still like to shop at Kelly Green, but I’ll be driving 30 miles out of my way to avoid returning to that
store.
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 185loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 185 12/27/12 3:30 PM12/27/12 3:30 PM
Confirming pages
186 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Use parallel structure in lists, headings, and subheadings in docu-
ments by using the same grammatical form for ideas that have the
same relationship in your sentence. Parallel structure is particularly
important in business communication, whose bulleted, vertical lists
make parallelism errors obvious.
Not parallel: Good reports are factual, logical, and demonstrate clarity.
It may be easier to see faulty parallelism by listing vertically parts
that need to be parallel. Check to make sure each component fits
with the words that introduce the list.
Not parallel: Good reports are Factual
Logical
Demonstrate clarity
Parallel: Good reports are Factual
Logical
Clear
Make sure all of the list is horizontal or vertical. Don’t start a
list horizontally and finish it vertically.
Incorrect: As department manager, I supervised eight employees.
• Wrote the department budget.
• Presented our sales strategy to the board of
directors.
Correct: As department manager, I supervised eight employees, wrote the department budget, and
presented our sales strategy to the board of
directors.
Also correct: As department manager, I • Supervised eight employees.
• Wrote the department budget.
• Presented our sales strategy to the board of
directors.
Headings must be parallel throughout the document, but subheads
need only be parallel to other subheads in the same section.
Not parallel: Should Ogden Industries Purchase Blue Chip International?
• Short-Term Costs
• What Are Long-Term Gains?
Parallel: Should Ogden Industries Purchase Blue Chip International?
• Short-Term Costs
• Long-Term Gains
In addition to grammatical parallelism, also check your sen-
tences for logical parallelism.
Incorrect: The group ranges from males and females to people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.
Better: We interviewed men and women ranging in age from 20 to 50.
Gender is one category; age is another.
Exercises
Rewrite the following sentences or headings to make them parallel.
1. Tanika sent copies of the memo to Accounting, the Pub-
lic Relations Department, the folks in Marketing, and even
Purchasing.
2. Some of the undeserved groups in the United States include
African Americans, Chinese, Native Americans, and Mexicans.
3. Jayden e-mailed to let us know that customers in our south,
north side, and western offices could use more supplies.
4. The awards committee includes Lucas, Mr. Guy Elizondo, Su
Yen, Dan “the Man” Jeffries, and Kyle Abrahms.
5. When Esther came to fix the copier, she pointed out that it
needed a new toner cartridge, one of those trays for paper, and
the replacement of its keypad.
6. We’re planning on traveling to Seattle; Columbus, Ohio;
the capital of Michigan, and lovely and historic Charleston
this year.
7. Make sure you order supplies for the strategic planning
retreat: pens, paper, one of those giant notepads, some mark-
ers, Post-it Notes, some file folders, and that tape that is sticky
on both sides.
8. The best supervisors
• listen to employees,
• are really good at valuing diversity in the workplace, and
• they are moral.
9. Bailey, Valdez, and Shepherd expect to open sales offices in
the following countries:
a. Brazil.
b. Beautiful Argentina.
• Our neighbor to the south, Mexico.
• El Salvador.
10. Issues to consider before making a final commitment:
a. How does the contract affect the bottom line?
b. When the contract will take effect.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Parallel Structure
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 186loc03261_ch11_164-186.indd 186 12/27/12 3:30 PM12/27/12 3:30 PM
Confirming pages
187
12 Persuasive Messages
LO 12-1 Compare strategies for persuasive messages.
LO 12-2 Create subject lines for persuasive messages.
LO 12-3 Apply strategies for persuasive message organization.
LO 12-4 Identify solutions for objections.
LO 12-5 Recognize techniques for more persuasive messages.
LO 12-6 Apply strategies for common ground solutions.
LO 12-7 List common kinds of persuasive messages.
LO 12-8 Apply strategies for persuasive message analysis with PAIBOC.
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Module 12 shows you how to write successful persuasive messages. After completing the module,
you should be able to
I n the 21st century, businesses depend more and more on persuasion and “buy-in” to get quality
work done. You can command people to make widgets. You can’t command people to be creative.
And even if you’re making widgets, just going through the motions isn’t enough. You want people to
make high-quality widgets while reducing scrap and other costs. Internal commitment is needed to
make that happen.
External motivation doesn’t last. Some people will buy a certain brand of pizza if they have a
“2 for the price of 1” coupon. But if the coupon expires, or if another company offers the same deal,
customers may leave. In contrast, if customers like your pizza better—in other words, if they are moti-
vated internally to choose it—then you may keep your customers even if another company comes in
with a lower price.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 187loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 187 12/22/12 8:19 PM12/22/12 8:19 PM
Confirming pages
188 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Persuasive messages include
• Orders and requests.
• Proposals and recommendations.
• Sales and fund-raising letters.
• Job application letters.
• Reports, if they recommend action.
• Efforts to change people’s behavior, such as collection letters, criticisms or performance
appraisals where you want the subordinate to improve behavior, and public-service ads
designed to reduce drunken driving, drug use, and so on.
All persuasive messages have several purposes:
Primary Purposes:
• To have the reader act.
• To provide enough information so that the reader knows exactly what to do.
• To overcome any objections that might prevent or delay action.
Secondary Purposes:
• To build a good image of the writer.
• To build a good image of the writer’s organization.
• To cement a good relationship between the writer and reader.
• To reduce or eliminate future correspondence on the same subject so the message
doesn’t create more work for the writer.
What is the best persuasive strategy? LO 12-1
▶ It depends on how much and what kinds of resistance you expect.
Four basic short-term strategies exist: direct request, problem-solving persuasion, sales, 1
and reward and punishment. This book will focus on the first two strategies. Rewards and
punishment have limited use, in part because they don’t produce permanent change and
because they produce psychological reactance (◀◀ p. 169). For a major change—such as restoring public confidence in CPA firms and in the stock market—no single message
will work. You will need a campaign with a series of messages, preferably from a variety
of sources.
Use the direct request pattern when
• The audience will do as you ask without any resistance.
• You need a response only from the people who are willing to act.
• The audience is busy and may not read all the messages received.
• Your organization’s culture prefers direct requests.
Use the problem-solving pattern when
• The audience is likely to object to doing as you ask.
• You need action from everyone.
• You trust the audience to read the entire message.
• You expect logic to be more important than emotion in the decision.
A strategy that works in one organization may not work somewhere else. James Suchan
and Ron Dulek point out that Digital Equipment’s corporate culture values no-holds-barred
aggressiveness: “Even if opposition is expected, a subordinate should write a proposal
in a forceful, direct manner.” 2 In another organization with different cultural values, an
employee who used a hard sell for a request antagonized the boss. 3
Corporate culture (◀◀ p. 28) isn’t written down; it’s learned by imitation and observa- tion. What style do high-level people in your organization use? When you show a draft
When a group of students
bullied school bus monitor
Karen Huff Klein, going so
far as to post videos online,
they may have thought they
were getting the last laugh.
Cruel comments like “You’re
so ugly, your kids should kill
themselves” were especially
horrific to people who knew
that Klein had lost a son to
suicide 10 years earlier. After
news of the attacks made
national headlines, however,
outraged and sympathetic
donors contributed hundreds
of thousands of dollars to
a vacation fund set up for
Klein. The students were
punished. Cyberbaiting, a form
of bullying where students
provoke teachers and other
authority figures and then
post the results online, is on
the rise now that cell phone
cameras are so prolific.
Bullying generates many
results, including ones bullies
may not anticipate. Remember,
persuasive techniques can be
used to any end—think about
why you are using them in
addition to how.
Sources: Susan Stump, “School Bus Monitor Doesn’t Want ‘Really
Nasty’ Kids Charged,” The Today
Show, June 21, 2012, http://today.
msnbc.msn.com/id/47896993/
ns/today-today_news/t/school-
bus-monitor-doesnt-want-really-
nasty-kids-charged/ ; and Susan
Donaldson James, “Cyberbaiting
on the Rise as Teacher Tantrums
Posted to YouTube,” Good Morning
America, January 3, 2012, http://
gma.yahoo.com/cyberbaiting-
rise-teacher-tantrums-posted-
youtube-213036412.html .
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 188loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 188 12/22/12 8:19 PM12/22/12 8:19 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 189
to your boss, are you told to tone down your statements or to make them stronger? Role
models and advice are two of the ways organizations communicate their cultures to
newcomers.
Different ethnic and national cultures also have different preferences for gaining com-
pliance. In one study, students who were native speakers of American English judged
direct statements (“Do this”; “I want you to do this”) clearer and more effective than
questions (“Could you do this?”) or hints (“This is needed”). Students who were native
speakers of Korean, in contrast, judged direct statements to be least effective. In the Korean culture, the study’s authors claim, the more direct a request is, the ruder and there-
fore less effective it is. 4
What is the best subject line for a persuasive message? LO 12-2
▶ For direct requests, use the request, the topic, or a question. ▶ For problem-solving messages, use a directed subject line or a reader benefit.
In a direct request, put the request, the topic of the request, or a question in the subject line.
Site to See
Go to
http://www. entrepreneur.com/ sales/salestechniques/ article53856.html
for seven tips on writing sales
letters.
Site to See
Go to
www.rice.edu/wetlands
Difficult situations arise when
multiple stakeholders in an
issue have different—perhaps
contradictory—points of
view. This website, created
by faculty and graduate
students at Rice University,
presents documents, maps,
and reports that led to a
successful resolution.
The Advertising Council creates
public service ads. Here, an ad for
the Arab American Institute uses
emotional appeal to build a common
ground and persuade people to
reject hate.
“Don’t kill the messenger”
could certainly apply to Maya
society. Before being executed,
the scribes of defeated kings
often also had their fingers
broken, a symbolic muting
of their ability to “speak”
persuasively on behalf of their
leader.
Source: Jeff Grabmeier, “Among the Mayas, Writers for Defeated
Kings Met a Cruel Fate,” The Ohio
State University Research News,
August 20, 2001, downloaded
at http://researchnews.osu.edu/
archive/mayans.htm .
Subject: Request for Updated Software
My copy of HomeNet does not accept the aliases for Magnus accounts.
Go to
Go to
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 189loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 189 12/22/12 8:20 PM12/22/12 8:20 PM
Confirming pages
190 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Subject: Status of Account #3548–003
Please get me the following information about account #3548–003.
Subject: Do We Need an Additional Training Session in October?
The two training sessions scheduled for October will accommodate 40 people. Last
month, you said that 57 new staff accountants had been hired. Should we schedule an
additional training session in October? Or can the new hires wait until the next regularly
scheduled session in February?
Instant Replay
Use the direct request pattern when
• The audience will do as you
ask without any resistance.
• You need a response only
from the people who are
willing to act.
• The audience is busy
and may not read all the
messages received.
• Your organization’s culture
prefers direct requests.
Use the problem-solving pattern when
• The audience is likely to
object to doing as you ask.
• You need action from
everyone.
• You trust the audience to
read the entire message.
• You expect logic to be more
important than emotion in
the decision.
I R
Use the direct
Subject: Arguments for Expanding the Marysville Plant
Subject: A Proposal to Change the Formula for Calculating Retirees’ Benefits
Subject: Why Cassano’s Should Close Its West Side Store
Subject: Reducing Energy Costs in the New Orleans Office
Energy costs in our New Orleans office have risen 12% in the last three years, even
though the cost of gas has fallen and the cost of electricity has risen only 5%.
When you have a reluctant reader, putting the request in the subject line just gets a quick
no before you’ve had a chance to give all your arguments. One option is to use a directed subject line that makes your stance on the issue clear. 5 In the following examples, the first is the most neutral. The remaining two increasingly reveal the writer’s preference.
Another option is to use common ground or a reader benefit—something that shows
readers that this message will help them.
Although your first paragraph may be negative in a problem-solving message, your
subject line should be neutral or positive to show that you are solving a problem, not just
reporting one.
Both directed subject lines and benefit subject lines can also be used as report titles.
How should I organize persuasive messages? LO 12-3
▶ In direct requests, start with the request. ▶ In a problem-solving message, start with the problem you share.
Start with the request only when you anticipate ready agreement, when you fear that a busy
reader may not read a message whose relevance isn’t clear, or when your organization’s
culture prefers direct requests.
Choose the correct persuasive
approach for your audience.
When Anne Mulcahy, the
former chair and CEO of
Xerox, decided to purchase
a Porsche, she faced two
annoyances: the salesperson
who assumed she needed to
talk to someone, presumably
a husband, before making
the purchase, and the finance
officer, who asked if she
needed someone to co-sign
her lease. Their attitudes
nearly persuaded Mulcahy to
drive to another dealership.
The situation reminded her of
her youth, when, she said, “I
was working and was totally
financially secure, but I’d
have to get co-signatures
on my loans because it
was the 1970s. Then it was
discrimination. Now it’s just
stupidity.”
(continued)
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 190loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 190 12/22/12 8:20 PM12/22/12 8:20 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 191
Writing Direct Requests
When you expect quick agreement, save the reader’s time by presenting the request directly.
1. Consider asking immediately for the information or service you want. Delay the request if it seems too abrupt or if you have several purposes in the message.
2. Give readers all the information and details they will need to act on your request. Number your questions or set them off with bullets so the reader can check to see that
all of them have been answered.
In a claim (where a product is under warranty or a shipment was defective), explain
the circumstances so that the reader knows what happened. Be sure to include all the
relevant details: date of purchase, model or invoice number, and so on.
In more complicated direct requests, anticipate possible responses. Suppose
you’re asking for information about equipment meeting certain specifications.
Explain which criteria are most important so that the reader can recommend an
alternative if no single product meets all your needs. You may also want to tell the
reader what your price constraints are and ask whether the item is in stock or must
be special ordered.
3. Ask for the action you want. Do you want a check? A replacement? A catalogue? Answers to your questions? If you need an answer by a certain time, say so. If possible,
show the reader why the time limit is necessary.
Figure 12.1 summarizes this pattern. Figure 12.2 illustrates the pattern as did the claim
letter in Figure 9.4 (◀◀ p. 131). Note that direct requests do not contain reader benefits and do not need to overcome objections: They simply ask for what is needed.
Direct requests should be direct. Don’t make the reader guess what you want.
Indirect request: Is there a newer version of the 2008 Accounting Reference Manual? Direct request: If there is a newer version of the 2008 Accounting Reference Manual, please
send it to me.
In some direct requests, your combination of purposes may suggest a different orga-
nization. For example, in a letter asking an employer to reimburse you for expenses after
a job interview, you’d want to thank your hosts for their hospitality and cement the good
impression you made at the interview. To do that, you’d spend the first several paragraphs
talking about the trip and the interview. Only in the last third of the letter (or even in the
postscript) would you put your request for reimbursement.
Similarly, in a letter asking about a graduate program, a major purpose might be to
build a good image of yourself so that your application for financial aid would be viewed
positively. To achieve that goal, provide information about your qualifications and interest
in the field as well as ask questions.
Organizing Problem-Solving Messages
Use an indirect approach and the problem-solving pattern of organization when you
expect resistance from your reader but can show that doing what you want will solve
Even reasonable requests
from credible sources can
meet resistance. Appeals by
the captain of a Continental
Express jet diverted by weather
to Rochester, Minnesota, to
let her passengers enter the
terminal went unheeded,
stranding them for six hours
aboard the cramped plane.
The Transportation Security
Administration (TSA) later
blamed Mesaba Airlines, a
subsidiary of Delta Air Lines.
Its staff, the only ones on duty
in the terminal at the time,
believed because there were
no TSA personnel available,
passengers could not deplane.
However, regulations allowed
for passengers to be taken to a
secure area.
Source: Joan Lowy, “Pilot Pleaded to Evacuate Stranded
Passengers,” August 21, 2009,
http://news.yahoo.com/s/
ap/20090821/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/
us_nightmare_flight.
Request for Action
Details
Request for Action
Figure 12.1 How to
Organize a Direct Request
Source: Becky Quick, “Car Salesmen: Still Sexist, Still
Stupid,” CNN, February 28,
2012, http://finance.fortune.
cnn.com/2012/02/28/
sexist-car-salesmen/.
(continued)
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 191loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 191 12/22/12 8:20 PM12/22/12 8:20 PM
Confirming pages
192 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Date: May 15, 2012
To: Michael Antonucci
From: David Anthony, Chair, BCS Suggestion Committee
Subject: Suggestion #97204
Please evaluate the attached suggestion by May 29.
• Should BCS adopt it? Why or why not? • Will it save the company money? If so, how much a year? • If the suggestion is adopted, how large an award should be given?
You may put your answers and brief reasons for them at the bottom of this page or send them to me by e-mail ([email protected]). Please get your response in by May 29 as the suggestion committee is meeting on May 30.
Thanks!
Spell out subquestions.
Make action easy.
Reason to act promptly
Ask for the action you want.
Put request in ¶ 1.
Topic of request in subject line
Interoffice Memo Keep each message to one topic.
Figure 12.2 A Direct Request
a problem you and your reader share. This pattern allows you to disarm opposition by
showing all the reasons in favor of your position before you give your readers a chance
to say no.
1. Describe the problem you both share (which your request will solve). Present the problem objectively: Don’t assign blame or mention personalities.
2. Give the details of the problem. Be specific about the cost in money, time, lost goodwill, and so on. You have to convince readers that something has to be done before you can convince them that your solution is the best one.
3. Explain the solution to the problem. If you know that the reader will favor another solution, start with that solution and show why it won’t work before you present your
solution.
Present your solution without using the words I or my. Don’t let personalities enter the picture; don’t let the reader think he or she should say no just because you’ve had other requests accepted recently.
4. Show that any negative elements (cost, time, etc.) are outweighed by the advantages. 5. Summarize any additional benefits of the solution. The main benefit— solving the
problem—can be presented briefly since you described the problem in detail. However,
if there are any additional benefits, mention them.
6. Ask for the action you want. Often your reader will authorize or approve something; other people will implement the action. Give your reader a reason to act promptly,
perhaps offering a new reader benefit. (“By buying now, we can avoid the next quarter’s
price hikes.”)
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 192loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 192 12/22/12 8:20 PM12/22/12 8:20 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 193
Figure 12.3 summarizes the pattern. Figure 12.4 implements the pattern. Reader ben-
efits can be brief in this kind of message because the biggest benefit comes from solving
the problem.
How do I identify and overcome objections? LO 12-4
▶ Talk to your audience. Then try these strategies.
The easiest way to learn about objections your audience may have is to ask knowledgeable
people in your organization or your town.
• Phrase your questions nondefensively, in a way that doesn’t lock people into taking a stand on an issue: “What concerns would you have about a proposal to do x? ” “Who makes a decision about y? ” “What do you like best about [the supplier or practice you want to change]?”
• Ask follow-up questions to be sure you understand: “Would you be likely to stay with your current supplier if you could get a lower price from someone else? Why?”
People are likely to be most aware of and willing to share objective concerns such as
time and money. They will be less willing to tell you that their real objection is emotional.
Readers have a vested interest in something if they benefit directly from keeping things as they are. People who are in power have a vested interest in retaining the system that
gives them their power. Someone who designed a system has a vested interest in protect-
ing that system from criticism. To admit that the system has faults is to admit that the
designer made mistakes. In such cases, you’ll need to probe to find out what the real
reasons are.
The best way to deal with an objection is to eliminate it. To sell Jeep Cherokees in
Japan, Mitsuru Sato convinced Chrysler to put the driver’s seat on the right side, to make
an extra preshipment quality check, and to rewrite the instruction booklet in Japanese style,
with big diagrams and cartoons. 6
If an objection is false or based on misinformation, give the response to the objection
without naming the objection. In a persuasive brochure, you can present responses with a
“question/answer” format. When objections have already been voiced, you may want to
name the objection so that your audience realizes that you are responding to that specific
Shared Problem
Details
Solution
Negatives
Reader Benefits
Request for Action
Figure 12.3 How to
Organize a Problem-Solving
Persuasive Message
Instant Replay
Organizing a Direct
Request
1. Consider asking for the
information or service you
want.
2. Give readers all the
information or details they
will need to act on your
request.
3. Ask for the action you want.
I R
Organizing a
President Barack Obama,
dogged by rumors that he
is not a U.S. citizen despite
releasing in 2008 a certificate
of live birth from Hawaii, did
provide a copy of his long form
birth certificate a few years
later. Nonetheless, detractors
continued to cast doubts, with
billionaire Donald Trump going
so far as to initially comment,
“We have to see if it’s real, if it’s
proper.” While Trump added
that he thought the document
likely was real, others with a
vested interest in another point
of view insist it is a digitally
altered fake.
Source: Rachel Rose Hartman, “White House Releases Obama
Birth Certificate,” April 27, 2011,
http://news.yahoo.com/s/
yblog_theticket/20110427/
ts_yblog_theticket/white-house-
releases-obama-birth-certificate .
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 193loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 193 12/22/12 8:20 PM12/22/12 8:20 PM
Rev.confirming pages
194 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Shared problem
Specific example of
problem
Solution presented
impersonally
Additional reader benefit
February 15, 2013
To: All Staff Members
From: Melissa J. Gutridge
Subject: Why We Are Implementing a New Sign-Out System
Successfully mainstreaming our clients into the community is very important, and daily interaction with the public is necessary. Our clients enjoy the times they get to go to the mall or out to lunch instead of remaining here all day. Recently, however, clients have been taken out on activities without a staff member’s knowing where the client is and whom the client is with.
We need to know where all clients are at all times because social workers, psycholo- gists, and relatives constantly stop by unannounced. Last week, Janet’s father stopped by to pick her up for a doctor’s appointment, and she was not here. No one knew where she was or whom she was with. Naturally her father was very upset and wanted to know what kind of program we were running. Staff members’ not knowing where our clients are and whom they are with is damaging to the good reputation of our staff and program.
Starting Monday, February 25, a sign-out board will be located by Betty’s desk. Please write down where you and the client are going and when you expect to be back. When signing out, help clients sign themselves out. We can turn this into a learning experience for our clients. Then when a social worker stops by to see someone who isn’t here, we can simply look at the sign-out board to tell where the client is and when he or she will return.
Please help keep up the superb reputation you have helped Weststar earn as a quality center for adults with handicaps. Sign out yourself and clients at all times.
Ask for action.
Directed subject line indicates action writer
will ask for to solve the problem.
Figure 12.4 A Problem-Solving Persuasive Message
objection. However, to avoid solidifying the opposition, don’t attribute the objection to
your audience. Instead, use a less personal attribution: “Some people wonder . . .”; “Some
citizens are afraid that . . .”
If real objections remain, try one or more of the following strategies to counter
objections:
1. Specify how much time and/or money is required—it may not be as much as the
reader fears.
Distributing flyers to each house or apartment in your neighborhood will probably take
two afternoons.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 194loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 194 25/01/13 9:41 PM25/01/13 9:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 195
2. Put the time and/or money in the context of the benefits they bring.
If you can’t overcome an objection,
admit it. A potential client asked
Evonne Weinhaus, “Do you really
do anything new in your training?”
She looked him in the eye and said,
“No, I don’t. I just add a twist.”
After a moment of silence, he said,
“That’s good. There is nothing new
out there, and if you had said ‘yes’
this lunch would have been over
immediately!” They talked about
her approach and her “twist” on
sales training. The potential client
became a real client, signing up for
26 workshops.
The additional $152,500 will (1) allow The Open Shelter to remain open 24 rather than
16 hours a day, (2) pay for three social workers to help men find work and homes, and
(3) keep the Neighborhood Bank open, so that men don’t have to cash Social Security
checks in bars and so that they can save up the $800 they need to have up front to rent
an apartment.
By replacing the boiler now, we’ll no longer have to release steam that the overflow
tank can’t hold. Depending on how severe the winter is, we could save $100 to $750 a
year in energy costs. If energy costs rise, we’ll save even more.
By being a Big Brother or a Big Sister, you’ll give a child the adult attention he or she
needs to become a well-adjusted, productive adult.
3. Show that money spent now will save money in the long run.
4. Show that doing as you ask will benefit some cause or group the reader supports, even
though the action may not help the reader directly.
Instant Replay
Organizing a Problem-
Solving Message
1. Describe a problem you
both share (which your
request will solve).
2. Give the details of the
problem.
3. Explain the solution to the
problem.
4. Show that any negative
elements (cost, time, etc.)
are outweighed by the
advantages.
5. Summarize any additional
benefits of the solution.
6. Ask for the action you want.
I R
Organizing a
These changes will mean more work for all of us. But we’ve got to cut our costs 25% to
keep the plant open and to keep our jobs.
5. Show the reader that the sacrifice is necessary to achieve a larger, more important goal
to which he or she is committed.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 195loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 195 12/22/12 8:20 PM12/22/12 8:20 PM
Confirming pages
196 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
6. Show that the advantages as a group outnumber or outweigh the disadvantages as
a group.
None of the locations is perfect. But the Backbay location gives us the most advantages
and the fewest disadvantages.
With the hiring freeze, every department will need more lead time to complete its own
work. By hiring another person, the Planning Department could provide that lead time.
7. Turn a disadvantage into an opportunity.
What other techniques can make my messages more persuasive? LO 12-5
▶ Build credibility and emotional appeal. Use the right tone, and offer a reason to act promptly.
Persuasive messages—whether short-term or long-term—will be more effective if you
build credibility and emotional appeal, use the right tone, and offer a reason to act promptly.
Build Credibility
Credibility is the audience’s response to you as the source of the message. People are more easily persuaded by someone they see as expert, powerful, attractive, or trustworthy.
A sexual abstinence program in Atlanta was effective in large part because the lessons
on how to say no without hurting the other person’s feelings were presented by teenag- ers slightly older than the students in the program. Adults would have been much less
credible. 7
When you don’t yet have the credibility that comes from being an expert or being pow-
erful, build credibility by the language and strategy you use:
• Be factual. Don’t exaggerate. • Be specific. If you say “X is better,” show in detail how it is better. Show the reader
exactly where the savings or other benefits come from so that it’s clear the proposal
really is as good as you say it is.
• Be reliable. If you suspect that a project will take longer to complete, cost more money, or be less effective than you originally thought, tell your audience immediately. Negotiate a new schedule that you can meet.
Build Emotional Appeal
Emotional appeal means making the reader want to do what you ask. People don’t make decisions—even business decisions—based on logic alone. J. C. Mathes and
Dwight W. Stevenson cite the following example. During his summer job, an engi-
neering student who was asked to evaluate his company’s waste treatment system saw
a way that the system could be redesigned to save the company more than $200,000
a year. He wrote a report recommending the change and gave it to his boss. Nothing
In 2009, Coca-Cola and IBM
were the world’s top two
brands, translating into a value
of $68.73 billion and $60.21
billion, respectively. A strong
brand connotes intrinsic
benefit to customers, and that
can translate into increased
credibility, along with more
sales and customer loyalty.
How brands are ranked,
however, changes according to
who is ranking them and how.
On Facebook, the top brands
for 2012 were Facebook,
YouTube, and Coca-Cola,
determined in part by the
number of “likes” for each.
Coca-Cola, for instance, has
41 million. But global research
agency Millward Brown
Optimor ranks Apple Inc.
the number one brand, with a
worth of $183 billion.
Sources: Emily Fredrix, “Worlds 2 Most Valuable Brands: Coca-Cola,
IBM,” downloaded on September
17, 2009, at http://finance.yahoo.
com/news/Worlds-2-most-
valuable-brands-apf-3039041815.
html?x=0 ; Tomio Geron, “Which
Brands Get the Most Value on
Facebook?” Forbes, May 10,
2012, http://www.forbes.com/
sites/tomiogeron/2012/05/10/
beyond-likes-which-brands-get-
the-most-value-on-facebook/ ;
and “The World’s Top 20 Brands,”
The Chicago Tribune, May 22,
2012, http://www.chicagotribune.
com/business/ct-biz-world-
biggest-brands-apr28,0,3878533.
photogallery .
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 196loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 196 12/22/12 8:20 PM12/22/12 8:20 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 197
happened. Why not? His supervisor wasn’t about to send up a report that would
require him to explain why he’d been wasting more than $200,000 a year of the com- pany’s money.
8
Stories and psychological description (◀◀ p. 116) are effective ways of building emo- tional appeal. Emotional appeal works best when people want to be persuaded. Even
when you need to provide statistics or numbers to convince the careful reader that your
anecdote is a representative example, telling a story first makes your message more
persuasive. Recent research suggests that stories are more persuasive because people
remember them. 9
Use the Right Tone
When you ask for action from people who report directly to you, you have several choices.
Even orders (“Get me the Ervin file”) and questions (“Do we have the third quarter num-
bers yet?”) will work. When you need action from co-workers, superiors, or people outside
the organization, you need to be more forceful but also more polite.
Avoiding messages that sound parental or preachy is often a matter of tone. Saying
“Please” is a nice touch, especially to people on your level or outside the organization.
Tone will also be better when you give reasons for your request.
Parental: Everyone is expected to comply with these regulations. I’m sure you can see that they are commonsense rules needed for our business.
Better: Even on casual days, visitors expect us to be professional. So leave the gym clothes at home!
When you write to people you know well, humor can work. Just make sure that the mes-
sage isn’t insulting to anyone who doesn’t find the humor funny.
Product placement—where a
company pays to have a name
brand product highlighted
to persuade audiences to
use it—is nothing new to film
and television, but songs,
novels, video games, and
music videos are among
media increasingly featuring
this type of promotion. It’s big
business. In 2008, American
Idol’s 580 product placements
were among those in network
programming that generated
billions in revenue. For 2012’s
Skyfall, the 23 rd film in the
official James Bond franchise,
product placement stirred
controversy, as fans were
outraged at the possibility of
the suave secret agent trading
in his signature vodka martinis
for a Heineken beer. But the
move fit in with the producers’
efforts to raise a record-setting
$45 million of the film’s budget
from advertisers. Of course,
the 50-year series of films
are no stranger to product
placement, with everything
from Rolex watches to Sony
Ericsson phones to Aston
Martin sports cars helping to
whet consumers’ appetites.
Source: Tom Lowry and Burt Helm, “Blasting Away at Product
Placement,” BusinessWeek,
October 15, 2009, http://www.
businessweek.com/magazine/
content/09_43/b4152060060411.
htm ; and Julian Sancton, “For Your
Ads Only: 50 Years of James Bond
Product Placement,” Bloomberg
Businessweek, April 5, 2012,
http://www.businessweek.com/
articles/2012-04-05/for-your-ads-
only-50-years-of-james-bond-
product-placement .
Be sure to analyze all of your audiences carefully for the appropriate persuasive appeal. Tougher
audiences require special consideration.
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com, www.cartoonstock.com.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 197loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 197 12/22/12 8:21 PM12/22/12 8:21 PM
Confirming pages
198
Building Common Ground LO 12-6
Building a Critical Skill
A common ground avoids the me-against-you of some persua-
sive situations and suggests that both you and your audience
have a mutual interest in solving the problems you face. To find
a common ground, we analyze the audience; understand their
biases, objections, and needs; and identify with them so we can
make them identify with us. This analysis can be carried out in
a cold, manipulative way. It can also be based on a respect for
and sensitivity to the audience’s position.
Readers are highly sensitive to manipulation. No matter how
much you disagree, respect your audience’s intelligence. Try
to understand why they believe or do something and why they
may object to your position. If you can understand your read-
ers’ initial positions, you’ll be more effective—and you won’t
alienate your readers by talking down to them.
The best common grounds are specific. Often a negative—a
problem the reader will want to solve—makes a good common
ground.
Weak This program has had some difficulty finding common enough individuals to volunteer their services ground: for the children. As a result, we are sometimes
unable to provide the one-on-one mentoring that
is our goal.
Improved On five Sundays in the last three months, we’ve common had too few volunteers to provide one-on-one ground: mentoring. Last Sunday, we had just two college
students to take eight children to the Museum of
Science and Industry.
Generalizations are likely to bore the reader. Instead, use the
idea behind the generalization to focus on something the reader
cares about.
Weak We all want this plant to be common profitable. ground: Improved We forfeited a possible $186,000 common in profits last summer due to a 17% ground: drop in productivity.
In your common ground, emphasize the parts of your pro-
posal that fit with what your audience already does or believes.
An employee of 3M wanted to develop laser disks. He realized
that 3M’s previous products were thin and flat: Scotch tape,
Post-it Notes, ™
magnetic tape. When he made his presentation
to the group that chose new products for development, he held
his prototype disk horizontally, so his audience saw a flat, thin
object rather than a large, round, recordlike object. Making his
project fit with the audience’s previous experience was a subtle
and effective emotional tool to make it easier for the audience
to say yes. Use audience analysis to evaluate possible common grounds.
Suppose you want to install a system to play background music
in a factory. To persuade management to pay for the system,
a possible common ground would be increasing productivity.
However, to persuade the union to pay for the system, you’d
need a different common ground. Workers would see produc-
tivity as a way to get them to do more work for the same pay. A
better common ground would be that the music would make the
factory environment more pleasant.
When you want people to change their behavior, don’t criti-
cize them. Instead, show that you’re on their side and that you
and they have a mutual interest in solving a problem. Changing
attitudes can be extremely difficult, but people can be receptive
to changing behavior if they understand why.
Writing to superiors is trickier. You may want to tone down your request by using sub-
junctive verbs and explicit disclaimers that show you aren’t taking a yes for granted.
Arrogant: Based on this evidence, I expect you to give me a new computer. Better: If department funds permit, I would like a new computer.
Passive verbs and jargon sound stuffy. Use active imperatives—perhaps with “Please”—
to create a friendlier tone.
Stuffy: It is requested that you approve the above-mentioned action. Better: Please authorize us to create a new subscription letter.
Offer a Reason for the Reader to Act Promptly
The longer people delay, the less likely they are to carry through with the action they had
decided to take. In addition, you want a fast response so you can go ahead with your own plans.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 198loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 198 12/22/12 8:21 PM12/22/12 8:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 199
Request action by a specific date. Always give people at least a week or two: They have
other things to do besides respond to your requests. Set deadlines in the middle of the
month, if possible. If you say, “Please return this by March 1,” people will think, “I don’t
need to do this till March.” Ask for the response by February 28 instead. If you can use a
response even after the deadline, say so. Otherwise, people who can’t make the deadline
may not respond at all.
Show why you need a quick response:
• Show that the time limit is real. Perhaps you need information quickly to use it in a report that has a due date. Perhaps a decision must be made by a certain
date to catch the start of the school year, the holiday selling season, or an election
campaign. Perhaps you need to be ready for a visit from out-of-town or international
colleagues.
• Show that acting now will save time or money. If business is slow and your industry isn’t doing well, then your company needs to act now (to economize,
to better serve customers) in order to be competitive. If business is booming and
everyone is making a profit, then your company needs to act now to get its fair share
of the available profits.
• Show the cost of delaying action. Will labor or material costs be higher in the future? Will delay mean more money spent on repairing something that will still need to
be replaced?
What are the most common kinds of persuasive messages? LO 12-7
▶ Orders, collection letters, performance appraisals, and letters of recommendation.
Orders, collection letters, performance appraisals, and letters of recommendation are
among the most common varieties of persuasive messages.
Orders
Orders may be written on forms, phoned in, or made by clicking boxes on the web. When
you write an order,
• Be specific. Give model or page numbers, colors, finishes, and so forth.
• Tell the company what you want if that model number is no longer available.
• Double-check your arithmetic, and add sales tax and shipping charges.
Collection Letters
Most businesses find that phoning rather than writing results in faster payment. But as
more and more companies install voice-mail systems, you may sometimes need to write
letters when leaving messages doesn’t work.
Collection letters ask customers to pay (as they have already agreed to do) for the goods and services they have already received. Good credit departments send a series of
letters. Letters in the series should be only a week or two apart. Waiting a month between
letters implies you’re prepared to wait a long time—and the reader will be happy to
oblige you!
Early letters are gentle, assuming that the reader intends to pay but has met with temporary reverses or has forgotten. However, the request should assume that the check
Site to See
Go to
www.archives.gov/exhibits/ powers_of_persuasion/ powers_of_persuasion_ intro.html
Persuasion can be based on
positive or negative appeals.
Part I of this exhibition of World
War II poster art presents
positive appeals focusing on
confidence, patriotism, and
strength. Part II presents
negative appeals: suspicion,
fear, and hate.
Debt collectors are turning
to social networking pages
to track down debtors, and
U.S. courts can also authorize
attorneys to use MySpace
and Facebook to serve legal
documents.
Source: Claes Bell, “3 Financial Dangers of Social Media,” January
28, 2010, http://finance.yahoo.
com/career-work/article/108692/
financial-dangers-of-social-media ;
and Declan McCullagh, “Facebook
‘Pokes’ Can be Used for Court
Notification,” CNET News, 2008,
http://by107w.bay107.mail.live.
com/mail/TodayLight.aspx?n
=1994328476&wa=wsignin1.
0&n=162689142 .
Go to
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 199loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 199 12/22/12 8:21 PM12/22/12 8:21 PM
Confirming pages
200 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
has been mailed but did not arrive. A student who had not yet been reimbursed by a
company for a visit to the company’s office put the second request in the P.S. of a letter
refusing a job offer:
Jonathan A. Segal points out
errors managers make when
doing performance appraisals.
Among them are stereotyping,
one-sided dialogue, and using
labels rather than behaviors.
One, the “like me bias,” is so
problematic the U.S. Equal
Employment Opportunity
Commission created a task
force to investigate its effect
on the workplace. The bias
occurs when managers
unconsciously hire and then
sometimes evaluate employees
more favorably simply because
they remind the managers of
themselves.
Source: Jonathan A. Segal, “The Dirty Dozen Performance
Appraisal Errors,” Bloomberg
Businessweek, January 14, 2011,
http://www.businessweek.com/
managing/content/jan2011/
ca20110114_156455.htm .
P.S. The check to cover my expenses when I visited your office in March hasn’t come
yet. Could you check to see whether you can find a record of it? The amount was $490
(airfare $290; hotel room $185; taxi $15).
If one or two early letters don’t result in payment, call the customer to ask if your
company has created a problem. It’s possible you shipped something the customer
didn’t want or sent the wrong quantity. It’s possible that the invoice arrived before the
product and was filed and forgotten. It’s possible that the invoice document is poorly
designed, so customers set it aside until they can figure it out. If any of these situations
apply, you’ll build goodwill by solving the problem rather than arrogantly asking for
payment. 10
Middle letters are more assertive in asking for payment. Figure 9.2 (◀◀ p. 128) gives an example of a middle letter. Other middle letters offer to negotiate a schedule
for repayment if the reader is not able to pay the whole bill immediately, may remind
the reader of the importance of a good credit rating (which will be endangered if the bill
remains unpaid), educate the reader about credit, and explain why the creditor must have
prompt payment.
Unless you have firm evidence to the contrary, assume that readers have some legiti-
mate reason for not yet paying. Even people who are “juggling” payments because they do
not have enough money to pay all their bills or people who will put payment off as long as
possible will respond more quickly if you do not accuse them. If a reader is offended by
your assumption that he or she is dishonest, that anger can become an excuse to continue
delaying payment.
Late letters threaten legal action if the bill is not paid. Under federal law, the writer cannot threaten legal action unless he or she actually intends to sue. Other regulations also
spell out what a writer may and may not do in a late letter.
Many small businesses find that establishing personal relationships with customers is
the best way to speed payment.
Performance Appraisals
At regular intervals, supervisors evaluate, or appraise, the performance of their subordi-
nates. In most organizations, employees have access to their files; sometimes they must
sign the appraisal to show they’ve read it. The superior normally meets with the subordi-
nate to discuss the appraisal.
Figure 12.5 shows a performance appraisal for a member of a student collaborative
group.
As a subordinate, you should prepare for the appraisal interview by listing your achieve-
ments and goals. Where do you want to be in a year or five years? What training and expe-
rience do you need to reach your goals? Also think about any weaknesses. If you need
training, advice, or support from the organization to improve, the appraisal interview is a
good time to ask for this help.
Appraisals need to both protect the organization and motivate the employee. These two
purposes conflict. Most of us will see a candid appraisal as negative; we need praise and
reassurance to believe we’re valued and can do better. But the praise that motivates some-
one to improve can come back to haunt the company if the person does not eventually do
acceptable work. An organization is in trouble if it tries to fire someone whose evaluations
never mention mistakes.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 200loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 200 12/22/12 8:21 PM12/22/12 8:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 201
February 13, 2013
To: Barbara Buchanan
From: Brittany Papper
Subject: Your Performance Thus Far in Our Collaborative Group
You have been a big asset to our group. Overall, our business communication group has been one of the best groups I have ever worked with, and I think that only minor improvements are needed to make our group even better.
What You’re Doing Well
You demonstrated flexibility and compatibility at our last meeting before we turned in our proposal on February 12 by offering to type the proposal since I had to study for an exam in one of my other classes. I really appreciated this because I really did not have the time to do it. I will definitely remember this if you are ever too busy with your other classes and cannot type the final report.
Another positive critical incident occurred February 5. We had discussed researching the topic of sexual discrimination in hiring and promotion at Midstate Insurance. As we read more about what we had to do, we became uneasy about reporting the information from our source who works at Midstate. I called you later that evening to talk about changing our topic to a less personal one. You were very understanding and said that you agreed that the original topic was a touchy one. You offered suggestions for other topics and had a positive attitude about the adjustment. Your suggestions ended my worries and made me realize that you are a positive and supportive person.
Your ideas are a strength that you definitely contribute to our group. You’re good at brainstorming ideas, yet you’re willing to go with whatever the group decides. That’s a nice combination of creativity and flexibility.
Areas for Improvement
Two minor improvements could make you an even better member.
The first improvement is to be more punctual to meetings. On February 5 and February 8 you were about 10 minutes late. This makes the meetings last longer. Your ideas are valuable to the group, and the sooner you arrive the sooner we can share in your suggestions.
The second suggestion is one we all need to work on. We need to keep our meetings positive and productive. I think that our negative attitudes were worst at our first group meeting February 5. We spent about half an hour complaining about all the work we had to do and about our busy schedules in other classes. In the future if this happens, maybe you could offer some positive things about the assignment to get the group motivated again.
Overall Compatibility
I feel that this group has gotten along very well together. You have been very flexible in finding times to meet and have always been willing to do your share of the work. I have never had this kind of luck with a group in the past and you have been a welcome breath of fresh air. I don't hate doing group projects any more!
Overall evaluation
Other strengths
Specific observa-
tions provide dates,
details of perfor- mance
Specific behavior to be changed
Specific recommendations for improvement
Subject line indicates that memo is a performance
appraisal
Positive, forward- looking ending
Figure 12.5 A Performance Appraisal
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 201loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 201 12/22/12 8:21 PM12/22/12 8:21 PM
Confirming pages
202 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Avoid labels, such as wrong and bad, and inferences. Instead, cite specific observations that describe behavior.
Inference: Sam is an alcoholic. Vague Sam calls in sick a lot. Subordinates complain about his observation: behavior. Specific Sam called in sick a total of 12 days in the last two months. observation: After a business lunch with a customer last week, Sam was walking unsteadily. Two
of his subordinates have said that they would prefer not to make sales trips with him
because they find his behavior embarrassing.
Sam might be an alcoholic. He might also be having a reaction to a physician- prescribed
drug; he might have a mental illness; he might be showing symptoms of a physical ill-
ness other than alcoholism. A supervisor who jumps to conclusions creates ill will, closes
the door to solving the problem, and may provide grounds for legal action against the
organization.
Be specific in an appraisal.
Too vague: Sue does not manage her time as well as she could. Specific: Sue’s first three weekly sales reports have been three, two, and four days late,
respectively; the last weekly sales report for the month is not yet in.
Without specifics, Sue won’t know that her boss objects to late reports. She may think
she is being criticized for spending too much time on sales calls or for not working
80 hours a week. Without specifics, she might change the wrong things in a futile
effort to please her boss.
Good supervisors try not only to identify the specific problems in subordinates’ behav-
ior but also in conversation to discover the causes of the problem. Does the employee need
more training? Perhaps a training course or a mentor will help. Does he or she need to
work harder? Then the supervisor needs to motivate the worker and help him or her man-
age distractions. Is a difficult situation causing the problem? Perhaps the situation can be
changed. If it can’t be changed, the supervisor and the company should realize that the
worker is not at fault.
Appraisals are more useful to subordinates if they make clear which areas are most
important and contain specific recommendations for improvement. No one can improve
17 weaknesses at once. Which two should the employee work on this month? Is getting
in reports on time more important than increasing sales? The supervisor should explicitly
answer these questions during the appraisal interview.
Phrase goals in specific, concrete terms. The subordinate may think that “considerable
progress toward completing” a report may mean that the project should be 15% finished.
The boss may think that “considerable progress” means 50% or 85% of the total work.
Letters of Recommendation
In an effort to protect themselves against lawsuits, some companies state only how long
they employed someone and the position that person held. Such bare-bones letters have
themselves been the target of lawsuits when employers did not reveal relevant negatives.
Whatever the legal climate, there may be times when you want to recommend someone for
an award or for a job.
Letters of recommendation must be specific. General positives that are not backed up
with specific examples and evidence are seen as weak recommendations. Letters of recom-
mendation that focus on minor points also suggest that the person is weak.
Figure 9.3 (◀◀ p. 129) is a letter of recommendation. Either in the first or the last paragraph, summarize your overall evaluation of the person. Early in the letter, per-
haps in the first paragraph, show how well and how long you’ve known the person.
Arguably, a good sales letter
can be a work of art, and
there are many approaches to
writing one. Microsoft’s Joanna
L. Krotz offers 11 tips for
writing effective sales letters,
including building trust in the
letter’s opening, establishing
credibility quickly, adding an
incentive, and throwing in a
call to action. Colorado State
University offers advice at its
open-access website, as well
as examples of sales letters.
Templates for sales letters
are included with many word
processing programs, but
the best letters are created
for specific audiences and
situations. While there are
many approaches to writing
a sales letter, there is no
single formula, but using the
techniques for direct and
indirect persuasion described
in this module will help you.
Sources: Joanna L. Krotz, “How to Write an Effective Sales
Letter: 11 Tips,” downloaded on
July 14, 2012, at http://www.
microsoft.com/business/en-us/
resources/marketing/customer-
service-acquisition/how-to-write-
an-effective-sales-letter-11-tips.
aspx?fbid=GI6G_TpfYbp ; and
“Writing Guide: Sales Letters,”
downloaded on May 3, 2012, at
http://writing.colostate.edu/guides/
documents/business_writing/
business_letter/Sales_letter/ .
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 202loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 202 12/22/12 8:21 PM12/22/12 8:21 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 203
In the middle of the letter, offer specific details about the person’s performance. At
the end of the letter, indicate whether you would be willing to rehire the person and
repeat your overall evaluation.
Experts are divided on whether you should include negatives. Some people feel that any
negative weakens the letter. Other people feel that presenting but not emphasizing honest
negatives makes the letter more convincing.
In many discourse communities, the words “Call me if you need more information” in a
letter of recommendation mean “I have negative information that I am unwilling to put on
paper. Call me, and I’ll tell you what I really think.”
How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module? LO 12-8
▶ Plan your activities, and answer the PAIBOC questions.
Before you tackle the assignments for this module, examine the following problem.
Figure 12.6 lists the necessary activities. As in Modules 10 and 11, the PAIBOC questions
probe the basic points required for a solution. Study the two sample solutions to see what
makes one unacceptable and the other one good. 11
The checklists at the end of the module
in Figures 12.9 and 12.10 can help you evaluate a draft.
Problem
In one room in the production department of Golden Electronics Company, employees
work on computer monitors in conditions that are scarcely bearable due to the heat. Even
when the temperature outside is only 75 8 , it is over 100 8 in the monitor room. In June, July,
and August, 24 out of 36 workers quit because they couldn’t stand the heat. This turnover
happens every summer.
Blogger Brian Clark considers
a sales letter used by The Wall
Street Journal as the greatest
such letter of all time. The
letter’s opening line is “On a
beautiful late spring afternoon
twenty-five years ago, two
young men graduated from the
same college.” It goes on to
detail how one would become
a manager for a company while
the other would become its
president, connecting success
to knowledge and knowledge
to reading The Wall Street
Journal. Clark states that the
letter to date has generated an
estimated $2 billion in revenue.
Source: Brian Clark, “The Greatest Sales Letter of All Time,”
downloaded on May 3, 2008, at
http://www.copyblogger.com/
the-greatest-sales-letter-of-alltime/ .
Figure 12.6 Allocating Time in Writing a Problem-Solving Persuasive Memo
Memo persuading the boss to approve a major expenditure. Total time: 6 hours
Planning
Figure costs.
Develop a common ground.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1). Think about document design (◀◀ Module 5). Organize the message.
1½ hours
Writing
Draft the memo.
1 hour
Revising
Reread draft.
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions and the checklist for
problem-solving persuasive messages (Figure 12.10).
Revise draft.
Ask for feedback.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Initial memo.
Give document to boss.
3½ hours
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 203loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 203 12/22/12 8:21 PM12/22/12 8:21 PM
Confirming pages
204 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
In a far corner of the room sits a quality control inspector in front of a small fan (the only
one in the room). The production workers, in contrast, are carrying 20-pound monitors.
As production supervisor, you tried to get air-conditioning two years ago, before Golden
acquired the company, but management was horrified at the idea of spending $500,000
to insulate and air-condition the warehouse (it is impractical to air-condition the monitor
room alone).
You’re losing money every summer. Write a memo to Jennifer M. Kirkland, operations
vice president, renewing your request.
Analysis of the Problem
P What are your purposes in writing or speaking?
To persuade Kirkland to authorize insulation and air-conditioning. To build a good
image of myself.
A Who is (are) your audience(s)? How do the members of your audience differ from each other? What characteristics are relevant to this particular message?
The operations vice president will be concerned about keeping costs low and
keeping production running smoothly. Kirkland may know that the request was
denied two years ago, but another person was vice president then; Kirkland wasn’t
the one who said no.
I What information must your message include?
The cost of the proposal. The effects of the present situation.
B What reasons or reader benefits can you use to support your position?
Cutting turnover may save money and keep the assembly line running smoothly.
Experienced employees may produce higher-quality parts. Putting in air-
conditioning would relieve one of the workers’ main complaints; it might make
the union happier.
O What objections can you expect your reader(s) to have? What negative elements of your message must you deemphasize or overcome?
The cost. The time operations will be shut down while installation is taking place.
C How will the context affect the reader’s response? Think about your relationship to the reader, morale in the organization, the economy, the time of year, and any special
circumstances.
Prices on computer components are falling. The economy is sluggish; the company
will be reluctant to make a major expenditure. Filling vacancies in the monitor
room is hard—we are getting a reputation as a bad place to work. Summer is over,
and the problem is over until next year.
Discussion of the Sample Solutions
Solution 1, shown in Figure 12.7 , is unacceptable. By making the request in the subject
line and the first paragraph, the writer invites a no before giving all the arguments. The writer does nothing to counter the objections that any manager will have to spending a
great deal of money. By presenting the issue in terms of fairness, the writer produces
defensiveness rather than creating a common ground. The writer doesn’t use details or
emotional appeal to show that the problem is indeed serious. The writer asks for fast
action but doesn’t show why the reader should act now to solve a problem that won’t
occur again for eight months.
Public challenges, promises,
and guarantees to overcome
objections can backfire.
Todd Davis, CEO of Lifelock,
a personal fraud protection
company, posted his Social
Security number on the side of
a van to promote confidence
in his company’s identity theft
security. Twenty-five thieves
then stole the number, with
one using it for a $500 loan.
Problems can occur from
bashing competitors rather
than improving your own
company. Blockbuster’s
CEO Jim Keyes publicly
criticized rival Netflix while
comparing himself favorably
to Apple’s Steve Jobs. Soon
after, Blockbuster filed for
bankruptcy.
Source: “10 Promotional Stunts that Horribly Backfired,”
downloaded on August
3, 2009, at http://finance.
yahoo.com/career-work/
article/107451/10-promotional-
stunts-that-horribly-backfired.
html?mod=career-leadership;
and Austin Carr, “The Startup
Scarlet Letter,” Fast Company,
May 11, 2012, http://www.
fastcompany.com/1837096/
thestartup-scarlet-letter.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 204loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 204 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 205
Figure 12.7 An Unacceptable Solution to the Sample Problem
Date: October 12, 2013
To: Jennifer M. Kirkland, Operations Vice President
From: Arnold M. Morgan, Production Supervisor
Subject: Request for Air-Conditioning the Monitor Room
Please put air-conditioning in the monitor room. This past summer, 2/3 of our employees quit because it was so hot. It’s not fair that they should work in unbearable temperatures when management sits in air-conditioned comfort.
I propose that we solve this problem by air-conditioning the monitor room to bring down the temperature to 78
o .
Insulating and air-conditioning the monitor room would cost $500,000.
Please approve this request promptly.
Request in subject line
stiffens resistance when
reader is reluctant.
Inappropriate emphasis on writer
Attacks reader
Cost sounds enormous without
a context. Memo sounds arrogant.
Logic isn’t developed.
This attacks reader inste ad of enlisting
reader’s support.
Solution 2, shown in Figure 12.8 , is an effective persuasive message. The writer
chooses a positive subject line. The opening sentence is negative, catching the read-
er’s attention by focusing on a problem the reader and writer share. However, the
paragraph makes it clear that the memo offers a solution to the problem. The problem
is spelled out in detail. Emotional impact is created by taking the reader through the
day as the temperature rises. The solution is presented impersonally. There are no I ’s in the memo.
The memo stresses reader benefits: the savings that will result once the investment is
recovered. The last paragraph tells the reader exactly what to do and links prompt action to
a reader benefit. The memo ends with a positive picture of the problem solved.
Figures 12.9 and 12.10 provide checklists for direct requests and problem-solving
persuasive messages.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 205loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 205 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Rev.confirming pages
206 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Date: October 12, 2013
To: Jennifer M. Kirkland, Operations Vice President
From: Arnold M. Morgan, Production Supervisor
Subject: Improving Summer Productivity
Golden forfeited a possible $186,000 in profits last summer due to a 17% drop in productivity. That’s not unusual: Golden has a history of low summer productivity. But we can reverse the trend and bring summer productivity in line with the rest of the year’s.
The problem starts in the monitor room. Due to high turnover and reduced efficiency from workers who are on the job, we just don’t make as many monitors as we do during the rest of the year.
Both the high turnover and reduced efficiency are due to the unbearable heat in the monitor room. Temperatures in the monitor room average 25o over the outside temperature. During the summer, when work starts at 8, it’s already 85o in the tube room. By 11:30, it’s at least 105o. On six days last summer, it hit 120o. When the temperatures are that high, we may be violating OSHA regulations.
Production workers are always standing, moving, or carrying 20-lb. monitors. When temperatures hit 90o, they slow down. When no relief is in sight, many of them quit.
We replaced 24 of the 36 employees in the monitor room this summer. When someone quits, it takes an average of five days to find and train a replacement; during that time, the trainee produces nothing. For another five days, the new person can work at only half speed. And even “full speed” in the summer is only 90% of what we expect the rest of the year.
Here’s where our losses come from:
Normal production = 50 units a person each day (upd)
Loss due to turnover: loss of 24 workers for 5 days = 24 at 1/2 pace for 5 days = Total loss due to turnover =
Loss due to reduced efficiency: loss of 5 upd × 12 workers × 10 days = loss of 5 upd × 36 × 50 days = Total loss due to reduced efficiency =
Total Loss =
According to the accounting department, Golden makes a net profit of $10 on every monitor we sell. And, as you know, with the boom in computer sales, we sell every monitor we make. Those 18,600 units we don‘t produce are costing us $186,000 a year.
Good to show problem can be
resolved
Additional reason to
solve problem
6,000 units 3,000 units 9,000 units
600 units 9,000 units 9,600 units
18,600 units
More details about problem
Shows detail– Set up like an
arithmetic problem
Reader benefit in subject line
Shared problem
Cause of problem
Shows where numbers in
paragraph 1 come from
Figure 12.8 A Good Solution to the Sample Problem
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 206loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 206 25/01/13 9:40 PM25/01/13 9:40 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 207
Figure 12.8 A Good Solution to the Sample Problem
h If the message is a memo, does the subject line indicate the request? Is the subject line specific enough to differentiate this message from others on the same subject?
h Does the first paragraph summarize the request or the specific topic of the message?
h Does the message give all of the relevant information? Is there enough detail? h Does the message answer questions or overcome objections that readers may have
without introducing unnecessary negatives?
h Does the last paragraph ask for action? Does it give a deadline if one exists and a reason for acting promptly?
And, for all messages, not just direct requests,
h Does the message use you-attitude and positive emphasis? h Is the style easy to read and friendly? h Is the visual design of the message inviting? h Is the format correct? h Does the message use standard grammar? Is it free from typos?
Originality in a direct request may come from
h Good lists and visual impact. h Thinking about readers and giving details that answer their questions, overcome
any objections, and make it easier for them to do as you ask.
h Adding details that show you’re thinking about a specific organization and the specific people in that organization.
Checklist for
Direct Requests
h
CC
Reason to act promptly
Jennifer M. Kirkland 2 October 12, 2013
Bringing down the temperature to 78o (the minimum allowed under federal guidelines) from the present summer average of 112o will require an investment of $500,000 to insulate and air-condition the warehouse. Extra energy costs for the air-conditioning will run about $30,000 a year. We’ll get our investment back in less than three years. Once the investment is recouped, we’ll be making an additional $150,000 a year—all without buying additional equipment or hiring additional workers.
By installing the insulation and air-conditioning this fall, we can take advantage of lower off-season rates. Please authorize the Purchasing Department to request bids for the system. Then, next summer, our productivity can be at an all-time high.
Additional benefit
Ends on positive note of problem solved, reader
enjoying benefit
Tells re ader
what t o do
Figure 12.9
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 207loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 207 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
208 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
h If the message is a memo, does the subject line indicate the writer’s purpose or offer a reader benefit? Does the subject line avoid making the request?
h Is the problem presented as a joint problem that both the writer and reader have an interest in solving, rather than as something the reader is being asked to do for
the writer?
h Does the message give all of the relevant information? Is there enough detail? h Does the message overcome objections that readers may have? h Does the message avoid phrases that sound dictatorial, condescending, or
arrogant?
h Does the last paragraph ask for action? Does it give a deadline if one exists and a reason for acting promptly?
And, for all messages, not just persuasive ones,
h Does the message use you-attitude and positive emphasis? h Is the style easy to read and friendly? h Is the visual design of the message inviting? h Is the format correct? h Does the message use standard grammar? Is it free from typos?
Originality in a problem-solving persuasive message may come from
h A good subject line and common ground. h A clear and convincing description of the problem. h Thinking about readers and giving details that answer their questions, overcome
objections, and make it easier for them to do as you ask.
h Adding details that show you’re thinking about a specific organization and the specific people in that organization.
Checklist for
Problem-Solving Persuasive Messages
h
C C ff
Figure 12.10
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Use the direct request pattern when (LO 12-1) • The audience will do as you ask without any resistance.
• You need a response only from the people who are willing
to act.
• The audience is busy and may not read all the messages
received.
• Your organization’s culture prefers direct requests.
• Use the problem-solving pattern when (LO 12-1) • The audience is likely to object to doing as you ask.
• You need action from everyone.
• You trust the audience to read the entire message.
• You expect logic to be more important than emotion in the
decision.
• In a direct request, put the request, the topic of the request, or a
question in the subject line. Do not put the request in the subject
line of a problem-solving persuasive message. Instead, use a
directed subject line that reveals your position on the issue or a reader benefit. Use a positive or neutral subject line even when
the first paragraph will be negative. (LO 12-2)
• In a direct request, consider asking in the first paragraph for the
information or service you want. Give readers all the informa-
tion or details they will need to act on your request. In the last
paragraph, ask for the action you want. (LO 12-3) • Organize a problem-solving persuasive message in this way:
(LO 12-3)
1. Describe a problem you both share (which your request
will solve).
2. Give the details of the problem.
3. Explain the solution to the problem.
4. Show that any negative elements (cost, time, etc.) are out-
weighed by the advantages.
5. Summarize any additional benefits of the solution.
6. Ask for the action you want.
• Readers have a vested interest in something if they benefit
directly from keeping things as they are. (LO 12-4)
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 208loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 208 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 209
• Use one or more of the following strategies to counter objec-
tions: (LO 12-4) • Specify how much time and/or money is required.
• Put the time and/or money in the context of the benefits
they bring.
• Show that money spent now will save money in the long run.
• Show that doing as you ask will benefit some group the
reader identifies with or some cause the reader supports.
• Show the reader that the sacrifice is necessary to achieve a
larger, more important goal to which he or she is committed.
• Show that the advantages as a group outnumber or outweigh
the disadvantages as a group.
• Turn the disadvantage into an opportunity.
• To make a message more persuasive, build credibility and emotional appeal, use the right tone and offer the reader a rea- son to act promptly. (LO 12-5)
• To encourage readers to act promptly, set a deadline. Show that
the time limit is real, that acting now will save time or money,
or that delaying action will cost more. (LO 12-5) • The best common grounds are specific. Often, a negative—a
problem the reader will want to solve—makes good common
ground. (LO 12-6) • In your common ground, emphasize the parts of your pro-
posal that fit with what your audience already does or believes.
(LO 12-6) • Use audience analysis to evaluate possible common grounds.
(LO 12-6) • Rejections and refusals, disciplinary notices and negative per-
formance appraisals, and layoffs and firings are the most com-
mon kinds of negative messages. (LO 12-7) • Use the PAIBOC questions from Module 1 to analyze persua-
sive situations. (LO 12-8)
Assignments for Module 12
12.1 How do you decide whether to use a direct request or a problem-solving persuasive message? (LO 12-1)
12.2 How do you organize a problem-solving persuasive message? (LO 12-3)
12.3 How can you build credibility? (LO 12-4)
12.4 How do specific varieties of persuasive messages adapt the basic patterns? (LO 12-7)
Questions for Comprehension
12.5 What do you see as the advantages of positive and nega- tive appeals? Illustrate your answer with specific messages,
advertisements, or posters. (LO 12-1)
12.6 Is it dishonest to “sneak up on the reader” by delaying the request in a problem-solving persuasive message? (LO 12-3)
12.7 Think of a persuasive message (or a commercial) that did not convince you to act. Could a different message have
convinced you? Why or why not? (LO 12-4, LO 12-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
12.8 Asking for Information for an Awards Ceremony (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
In your files, you find this letter used by the previous
program chair:
Exercises and Problems
Thank you for sending me the names of people to recognize. This will be very helpful. However, you did
not give me enough information. I need more than just their names. Please give me more information. I
want to know how long each person has worked for your organization. Do they have hobbies? (Provide
information.) Supply the names of their spouses and children, if any. It would be helpful also to have
the children’s ages. Additionally, we plan to send special letters to the city council members whose
constituents are being recognized. To this end, we need the name or number of the voting ward of each
person. It would also be helpful to have the home address of each person because we want to invite both
the person to be recognized and his or her spouse or guest to attend the ceremony. What exactly did the
person do to deserve recognition? I anxiously await your response at your earliest convenience.
Your community organization recognizes people who have
contributed to the community. Julio Moreno, the chief of
police, sent you names and photos of four officers. But you
need more information to introduce them and to write the
press release you’ll send the paper.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 209loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 209 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
210 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
In today’s mail, your insurance agency received the
following letter:
12.9 Asking for the Right Information (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
You know this letter is horrible. It’s awkward and lacks
you-attitude and positive emphasis. The questions aren’t
arranged or formatted effectively. It doesn’t ask for action
by a specific date.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Identify the problems in this letter.
b. Rewrite the letter, adding information to make it clear
and complete.
A memo from headquarters announces that the maxi-
mum merit increase (i.e., a raise when no promotion is
involved) is 6%.
You’ve got a subordinate who, you feel, deserves a
bigger raise. A year ago, Sheila Whitfield was promoted
into the pre-label division of your packing department.
She quickly became proficient in her duties—so much
so that now others ask her for advice. You especially
like her positive approach to solving problems. She sees
obstacles as challenges and more often than not figures
out ways to do what needs to be done within the con-
straints. On her own initiative, she started a program
to make others in the company aware of the expense of
labels and shipping to better control costs. The program
has been very successful, and the company has saved
money while still using clear, informative labels with
adequate packaging. She has excellent working relation-
ships with label suppliers and her counterparts in other
companies.
In her most recent performance appraisal, Sheila had 14
out of 21 boxes checked “Exceptional” (the other 7 were
“Commendable,” the next highest category). Her overall
ranking was “Exceptional.” Indeed, the only two sugges-
tions for improvement were minor ones: “(1) Continue to be
aggressive, but temper the aggressiveness with diplomacy;
(2) continue to expand responsibility in current position.”
Write a memo to the Salary Compensation Committee
recommending that an exception to the rules be made so
that Sheila can be given an 8% raise.
12.10 Getting a Raise for a Deserving Employee (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Create a document or presentation to achieve the goal.
b. Write a memo to your instructor describing the situa-
tion at your workplace and explaining your rhetorical
choices (medium, strategy, tone, wording, graphics or
document design, and so forth).
Do you deserve a raise? Should your job be reclassified
to reflect your increased responsibilities (with more pay,
of course)? If so, write a memo to the person with the
authority to determine pay and job titles, arguing for what
you want.
12.11 Asking for a Raise or Reclassification (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
You have a small desktop publishing firm. Unfortunately,
not all your clients pay promptly.
As Your Instructor Directs,
Write letters for one or more of the following situations.
a. A $450 bill for designing and printing a brochure for Jug-
gles, Inc., a company that provides clowns and jugglers
for parties, is now five weeks overdue. You’ve phoned
twice, and each time the person who answered the phone
promised to send you a check, but nothing has happened.
b. A $2,000 bill for creating a series of handouts for a vet-
erinarian to distribute to clients is now 72 days overdue.
This one is embarrassing: You lost track of the invoice,
so you never followed up on the original (and only) bill.
c. A $3,750 bill for designing and printing a series of
10 brochures for Creative Interiors, a local interior
decorating shop, is three weeks past due. When you
billed Creative Interiors, you got a note saying that
the design was not acceptable and that you would not
be paid until you redesigned it (at no extra charge)
to the owner’s satisfaction. The owner had approved
the preliminary design on which the brochures were
based; she did not explain in the note what was wrong
with the final product. She’s never free when you are;
indeed, when you call to try to schedule an appoint-
ment, you’re told the owner will call you back—but
she never does. At this point, the delay is not your
fault; you want to be paid.
12.12 Writing Collection Letters (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
The writer, Trevor Bishop, included a photo of himself.
Trevor misunderstood what the clerk said: what you
need for insurance purposes is a photo of the boat, not its
owner. Write to Mr. Bishop to ask for the photo you need—
without making him feel stupid for having misunderstood
what your clerk meant.
When I called last week to find out about insuring my boat, the clerk told me to include a recent photo.
Here it is. Please send me a notice telling me that my boat is now insured—I want to take it out sailing!
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 210loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 210 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 211
d. A $100 bill for designing (but not actually creating) a
brochure for a cleaning company that, according to its
owner, planned to expand into your city may be difficult
to collect. You got the order and instructions by mail and
talked to the person on the phone but never met him.
You tried to call once since then (as much to try to talk
him into having the brochures printed as to collect the
$100); the number was “no longer in service.” You sus-
pect the owner may no longer be in business, but you’d
like to get your money if possible.
You are manager of the local power company. A recent
survey had questions about recipients’ attitudes toward the
company. On the 7-point “friendly . . . unfriendly” scale,
you came out at 2.1—with “1” being the lowest score
possible.
The only contact most people have with the power com-
pany comes through monthly bills, ads, and phone calls.
Many of these calls are about routine matters: whether
people can delay payment, how to handle payment when
they’re away for extended periods of time, how to tell if
there’s a gas leak, how the budget payment system works.
Workers answer these questions over and over and over.
But the caller asks because he or she needs to know.
To the worker, the caller is just one more faceless voice; to
the caller, the worker is the company.
Write a memo to your staff urging them to be patient
and friendly when they answer questions.
Hints:
• In your town, does the power company have a monopoly,
or do gas and electricity compete for customers? How
might competition affect your message?
• What specifically do you want your staff to do? How
could they achieve your general goals?
• How can the job be made more interesting for workers?
12.13 Urging Employees to Handle Routine Calls Courteously (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
At City College, you have more would-be interns than
internship positions. As Director of the Internship Pro-
gram, you’d like to line up more companies to accept your
students.
If your school already has an internship program, use
the facts about it. If it doesn’t, assume that internships
• Are open to students who have completed at least two
courses in the area of the internship with grades of “B” or
better.
• Can be paid or unpaid.
• Must involve substantive work supervised by someone in
the organization.
• Must involve at least 100 hours of onsite work experi-
ence during the term.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Write a form letter that could be mailed to businesses,
urging them to set up one or more internships.
b. Pick an organization you know well. Write to a specific
person urging him or her to set up internships in that
organization.
c. Write a news release about your school’s need for more
intern positions.
12.14 Persuading an Organization to Accept Student Interns (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
Your college, community college, or university is con-
cerned that some students have high levels of credit card
debt and may be using credit cards irresponsibly. Many
students—especially those without full-time jobs—pay
only part of the bill each month, thus compounding the
original amount charged with interest rates that can be 18%
annually, or even higher. Nationwide, 20% of students have
credit card debt of more than $10,000—and that doesn’t
count amounts owed for student loans. Excessive credit
card debt makes it harder for a student to become finan-
cially independent; in extreme cases, students may have to
drop out just to pay off the credit card debt.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Create a message to urge students on your campus to
use credit cards responsibly. Create a document that has
the greatest chance of being read and heeded (not just
dropped on the ground or in a trash can).
b. Write a memo to your instructor explaining how and
when the document would be distributed and why
you’ve chosen the design you have. Show how your
decisions fit the students on your campus.
Hints:
• Suggest guidelines for responsible use of credit (limit-
ing the number of credit cards, charging only what one
can repay each month except in the case of an emer-
gency, shopping around for a card with the lowest inter-
est rate, and so forth). Suggest a way to test one’s own
credit savvy.
• Remind students that for continuing expenses, a loan will
have a lower interest rate (and may not have to be repaid
until after graduation).
• Some students may like the freebies they get with
some credit cards (e.g., frequent flyer miles). How
can you persuade these students that the freebies
aren’t worth charging more than they can pay off each
month?
• Part of your audience already uses credit responsibly. Be
sure the message doesn’t offend these people.
• Some students in your audience may already know that
they owe too much. What can students do if they already
have too much debt?
12.15 Helping Students Use Credit Cards Responsibly (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 211loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 211 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
212 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
The Industrial Revolution brought people together to work in
factories, and now the Internet Age is making it possible for
people to move their work back to their homes. Many kinds
of collaboration and communication can take place electroni-
cally, so showing up at the office is not essential for getting the
job done. Some employees enjoy the social interaction of the
workplace. For others, the joy of seeing co-workers just does
not make up for the time and discomfort of the daily commute.
Write a memo to your supervisor, requesting that you
be allowed a flexible work arrangement in which you do
some or all of your work at home. Consider your work
requirements, and identify which of them do not require
your physical presence. Explain how you will be able to
demonstrate that you work at least as effectively at home.
Your supervisor will have to be able to justify this arrange-
ment to his or her own boss.
Hints:
• Pick a business, government office, nonprofit agency, or
educational institution that you know something about.
• For advice on making the case for working at home, visit
www.workoptions.com , www.work-family.com , www.
gilgordon.com , www.jala.com , and www.joannepratt.com .
• Will your organization be more persuaded by a dollars-and-
cents comparison showing how much this benefit could
save the company? Or would stories be more persuasive?
12.16 Asking to Work at Home (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
Your company’s regional vice president recently toured
your department and was appalled by how many people
had Facebook or other social networking sites open on their
computers. In most cases, employees had social networking
windows open alongside work-related tasks. Your depart-
ment, which usually gets high marks, received a lower
review from the vice president as a result.
While your company’s policy is that only work-related
sites should be opened on the job, managers and super-
visors have been lax in enforcing the rule since work
gets done and there have been no complaints. This lat-
est turn of events, however, makes it necessary to remind
employees of the policy and penalties, such as written
reprimands.
Some employees may be bothered by the reminder.
They may feel they are able to effectively multitask and
that the policy treats them like children. In addition, some
employees are actually responsible for making sure updates
about your company are tweeted and posted to the com-
pany’s Facebook page newsfeed, so they should be allowed
to have the sites open at any time.
Write an e-mail message to employees urging them to
refrain from opening social networking sites unless doing
so is work-related.
12.17 Persuading Employees to Keep Social Networking Sites Closed (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
As a supervisor in a state agency, you have a dilemma. You
received this e-mail message today:
12.18 Handling a Sticky Recommendation (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
From: John Inoye, Director of Personnel, Department of Taxation
Subject: Need Recommendation for Peggy Chafez
Peggy Chafez has applied for a position in the Department of Taxation. On the basis of her application
and interview, she is the leading candidate. However, before I offer the job to her, I need a letter of
recommendation from her current supervisor.
Could you please let me have your evaluation within a week? We want to fill the position as quickly as
possible.
Peggy has worked in your office for 10 years. She
designed, writes, and edits a monthly statewide newsletter
that your office puts out; she designed and maintains the
department website. Her designs are creative; she’s a hard
worker; she knows a lot about computers.
However, Peggy is in many ways an unsatisfactory staff
member. Her standards are so high that most people find her
intimidating. Some find her abrasive. She’s out of the office
a lot. Some of that is required by her job (e.g., she takes the
newsletters to the post office), but some people don’t like the
fact that she’s out of the office so much. They also complain
that she doesn’t return voice-mail and e-mail messages.
You think managing your office would be a lot smoother
if Peggy weren’t there. You can’t fire her: State employees’
jobs are secure once they get past the initial six-month pro-
bationary period. Because of budget constraints, you can hire
new employees only if vacancies are created by resignations.
You feel that it would be pretty easy to find someone better.
If you recommend that John Inoye hire Peggy, you will
be able to hire someone you want. If you recommend that
John hire someone else, you may be stuck with Peggy for
a long time.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Write to John Inoye.
b. Write a memo to your instructor listing the choices
you’ve made and justifying your approach.
Hints:
• What are your options? Consciously look for more than
two.
• Is it ethical to select facts or to use connotations so that
you are truthful but still encourage John to hire Peggy? Is
it certain that John would find Peggy’s work as unsatisfac-
tory as you do? If Peggy is hired and doesn’t do well, will
your credibility suffer? Why is your credibility important?
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 212loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 212 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 213
As director of customer relations for a major airline, you
receive the following letter:
12.19 Addressing a Passenger Complaint about a Rude Flight Attendant (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
To save money, your company orders office supplies in
bulk. Each department then gets its allotment of supplies,
which are kept in a supply room for employees to access
when needed. The room is locked at night, and only you
and security guards have the key.
Large amounts of office supplies have been disap-
pearing from your department’s supply room for several
months. It started with small items, such as pens, tape,
and sticky notes. Now, staplers, calculators, and expensive
poster and certificate frames are missing. You have no idea
who is responsible, but the thefts appear to be happening
during regular business hours. The total loss from the thefts
is now more than $1,000.
You tried having employees sign materials out on the
honor system, but the thefts continued. Security recom-
mends a hidden camera for the room, but the idea of “spy-
ing” on employees troubles you. You have agreed to a
compromise: a security camera placed in plain view.
You believe the thefts are the work of one person and
that the other 90 employees in your department are inno-
cent. Therefore, the camera may offend people and harm
employee morale.
Morale already has been down because the company
has experienced profit losses the past two quarters due to
increased competition. Rumors are spreading that some
jobs will be transferred overseas and layoffs are imminent,
though you have no solid information on management’s
plans. Your employees—many of whom have been with the
company for more than 10 years—are apprehensive about
their future with the company.
But the alternative is to allow the increasingly costly
thefts to continue. You also want to avoid having to search
employees and their belongings, the next step according to
security if the camera fails to discourage the thief.
Write a memo to your employees explaining the need
for the camera.
12.20 Persuading Employees that a Security Camera Is Necessary (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
For a job, for a four-year school, or for graduate school, you
need letters of recommendation.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Assume that you’ve orally asked an instructor for a rec-
ommendation, and he or she has agreed to write one.
“Write up something to remind me of what you’ve done
in the class. Tell me what else you’ve done, too. And tell
me what they’re looking for. Be sure to tell me when the
letter needs to be in and whom it goes to.”
b. Assume that you’ve been unable to talk with the instruc-
tor whose recommendation you want. Write asking for a
letter of recommendation.
Hints:
• Be detailed about the points you’d like the instructor
to mention.
• How well will this instructor remember you? How much
detail about your performance in his or her class do you
need to provide?
• Specify the name and address of the person to whom the
letter should be written; specify when the letter is due. If
there’s an intermediate due date (e.g., if you must sign
the outside of the envelope to submit the recommenda-
tion to law school), say so.
12.21 Asking an Instructor for a Letter of Recommendation (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
You investigate the situation and discover that there was
only one male flight attendant on that flight, David. Usu-
ally assigned to your airline’s regional carrier, which makes
short trips on propeller-driven airplanes, he was a last-min-
ute substitution for another attendant who took sick leave.
David has a brief yet spotless record with the airline, but
Flight 2219 was on a much larger and more crowded air-
plane than he usually flies. He may have been overwhelmed
by the change. You want to discuss the matter with David
before contacting Mr. Antilles, but David is on vacation for
nine more days. Rather than leave Mr. Antilles waiting, you
decide to contact him to express your concern and to let
him know that you will follow up with David.
Write a letter to Mr. Antilles assuring him that the mat-
ter will be investigated.
Recently, I took one of your flights from Portland, Oregon, to St. Louis, Missouri, Flight 2219. Though
the flight itself was pleasant (and we even arrived a half hour early!) one of the attendants was rude. He
addressed me in a less-than-friendly tone, thrust the cup holding my beverage in my face when serving
me, and ran into my shoulder several times while speeding down the aisle for no particular reason. My
wife and even the passenger seated next to me were shocked.
I don’t know what I did to merit such treatment, but it seems to me that passengers deserve better. I
should know. I’m a retired flight attendant from another airline.
Sincerely,
Tim Antilles
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 213loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 213 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
214 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Recommend whether your instructor should invest in a
specific stock, piece of real estate, or other investment. As
your instructor directs, assume your instructor has $1,000,
$10,000, or $100,000 to invest.
Hints:
• Pick a stock, property, or other investment you can
research easily.
• What are your instructor’s goals? Is he or she saving for
a house? For retirement? For kids’ college expenses? To
pay off his or her own student loans?
• How much risk is your instructor comfortable with?
• Is your instructor willing to put time into the investment
(as managing a rental house would require)?
*Based on an assignment created by Cathy Ryan, The Ohio
State University.
12.22 Recommending Investments * (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
As Director of Business Communication, you get this let-
ter from Sharon Davis, a member of your college advisory
board and a major donor:
(The next two inches of the letter are blocked out, and nei-
ther the signature nor typed name can be read.)
12.23 Retrieving Your Image (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
This message is terrible. It lacks you-attitude and may
even encourage people not to pay until the 5th.
Write to people who have been slow to pay in the past.
b. Ms. Davis, convincing her that indeed your school does
make every effort to graduate students who can write.
As Your Instructor Directs,
Write to
a. The faculty who teach business communication, remind-
ing them that the quality of student writing may affect
fund-raising efforts.
As the new manager of an apartment complex, this message
is in the files:
12.24 Persuading Tenants to Pay the Rent (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
My bank received this letter from one of your soon-to-be graduates. It seems as though a closer look at
writing skills is warranted.
To Whom It May Concern:
This is in reference to the loan soliciation that I received in the mail. This is the second offer that I am
now inquiring about. The first offer sent to my previous address I did not respond. But aftersome
careful thought and consideration I think it wise to consolidate my bills. Therefore I hope the
information provided is sufficient to complete a successful application. I think the main purpose of this
loan is to enable me to repair my credit history. I have had problems in the past because of job status
as part-time and being a student. I will be graduating in June and now I do have a full-time job. I think I
just need a chance to mend the past credit problems that I have had.
ATTENTION!
DERELICTS
If you are a rent derelict (and you know if you are) this communique is directed to you!
RENT IS DUE THE 5TH OF EACH MONTH AT THE LATEST!
LEASE HAS A 5-DAY GRACE PERIOD UNTIL THE 5TH OF THE MONTH NOT THE 15TH.
If rent is not paid in total by the 5th, you will pay the $25.00 late charge. You will pay the $25.00 late
charge when you pay your late rent or your rent will not be accepted.
Half of you people don’t even know how much you pay a month. Please read your lease instead of calling
up to waste our time finding out what you owe per month! Let’s get with the program so I can spend my
time streamlining and organizing maintenance requests. My job is maintenance only.
RENT PAYMENT IS YOUR JOB!
If you can show up for a test on time, why can’t you make it to the rental office on time or just mail it.
P.S. We don’t take cash any longer due to a major theft.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 214loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 214 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 12 Persuasive Messages 215
During your collaborative writing group meetings, record
specific observations of both effective and ineffective
things that group members do. Then evaluate the perfor-
mance of the other members in your group. (If there are
two or more other people, write a separate appraisal for
each of them.)
In your first paragraph, summarize your evaluation.
Then in the body of your memo, give specific details:
• What specifically did the person do in terms of the
task? Brainstorm ideas? Analyze the information? Draft
the text? Suggest revisions in parts drafted by others?
Format the document or create visuals? Revise? Edit?
Proofread? (In most cases, several people will have
done each of these activities together. Don’t overstate
what any one person did.) What was the quality of the
person’s work?
• What did the person contribute to the group process?
Did he or she help schedule the work? Raise or resolve
conflicts? Make other group members feel valued and
included? Promote group cohesion? What roles did the
person play in the group?
Support your generalizations with specific observations.
The more observations you have and the more detailed they
are, the better your appraisal will be.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Write a midterm performance appraisal for one or
more members of your collaborative group. In each
appraisal, identify the two or three things the per-
son should try to improve during the second half of
the term.
b. Write a performance appraisal for one or more members
of your collaborative group at the end of the term. Iden-
tify and justify the grade you think each person should
receive for the portion of the grade based on group
process.
c. Give a copy of your appraisal to the person about whom
it is written.
12.25 Writing a Performance Appraisal for a Member of a Collaborative Group (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
Your organization has gone through a lot of changes, and you
suspect that the original job descriptions used when people
were hired are no longer accurate. So you’d like all employ-
ees to list their current job duties. You’d also like them to
indicate which parts of their jobs they see as most important
and how much time they spend on each part of the job.
Send a message to all employees asking for their job
descriptions.
Hints:
• Pick a real business, government, or nonprofit group you
know about.
• When is the next cycle of performance appraisals? Will
these descriptions be used then?
• People will be reluctant to tell you they’re spending
lots of time on things that aren’t important, and some
people may honestly not know how they spend their
time. How can you encourage accurate reporting? (If
you ask people to keep logs for a week, be sure to
also ask them if that week was typical—it may or may
not be.)
• Some people will want to change their job descrip-
tions—that is, to change their duties or the proportion
of time they spend on each job task. Is that an option
in your organization right now? If it isn’t (or if it is an
option for very few people), how can you make that clear
to readers?
12.26 Asking for a Job Description (LO 12-1 to LO 12-8)
The words you choose can express personality in speech and
writing. What personality do you want in your memos, letters, and
reports? Friendly? Assertive? Bureaucratic? Threatening? Confi-
dent? These are just a few possibilities.
Consider the personality expressed by billionaire investment
guru Warren Buffet in an annual report to the shareholders of Berk-
shire Hathaway, Inc.:
Expressing Personality
Polishing Your Prose
Given our gain of 34.1%, it is tempting to declare victory and move on. But last year’s performance was
no great triumph. Any investor can chalk up large returns when stocks soar, as they did in 1997. In a bull
market, one must avoid the error of the preening duck that quacks boastfully after a torrential rainstorm,
thinking that its paddling skills have caused it to rise in the world. A right-thinking duck would instead
compare its position after the downpour to that of the other ducks in the pond.
So what’s our duck rating for 1997? The table on the facing page shows that though we paddled furiously
last year, passive ducks that simply invested in the S&P Index rose almost as fast as we did. Our appraisal
of 1997’s performance then: Quack.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 215loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 215 25/01/13 9:42 PM25/01/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
216 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
How would you describe the personality of this narrator?
Does he sound “folksy”? Fatherly? Grandfatherly? Educated?
Confident? How do you know? How does his personality com-
pare to your expectations for someone in the investment field?
Someone who is wealthy? Is this someone you would like
to know?
Personality is individual. However, we all have control over the
words we choose to convey our personalities. To understand your
own personality in communication, first see if you can understand
the personalities that others convey. Then compare their words and
tone to your own.
Exercises
Read the following passages. How would you characterize the nar-
rative voice in each? Which voices seem appropriate for good busi-
ness communication? Try using your own words to communicate
the same basic message.
1. Don’t think. Don’t talk. Don’t even blink. Just do your job!
2. Per the discussion of the 10 th and concerning the interested
parties, we are establishing the continuance of the aforemen-
tioned procedural matters, as referenced by the undersigned in
document A, subsection C, paragraphs 1 and 2.
3. What I can’t understand—I mean, beyond the fact that some
college out there actually granted you a degree—is how that
brain of yours actually managed to generate enough power
to submit an application to this company in the first place. I
mean, you may very well be a modern scientific miracle.
4. Oh, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for hiring
me!! You WON’T be disappointed!!!!!!!!!!
5. Yeah, thanks for shopping here.
6. BIF AISI BYTM LOL.
7. It’s like, you know, the whole thing, okay, and, you know, I’m
really glad that we, okay, like, talked about it before we signed
any, you know, contract.
8. This is so simple even a man can figure out how to do it.
9. You will no doubt be suitably impressed with the care in which
I have completed this report. It is, if I may say so myself, the
best work I have ever done.
10. Yes, sir. After all, we are after all here to serve customers like you, sir. It’s our job to make your shopping experience excep- tional, sir. After all, no matter how outrageous, the customer is always right, sir.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 216loc03261_ch12_187-216.indd 216 12/22/12 8:22 PM12/22/12 8:22 PM
Confirming pages
217
E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 13
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
T echnology continues to change the way we work and the way we write. Not too long ago, a pen,
typewriter, and telephone were the primary equipment for business communicators; then came
word processors, fax machines, and e-mail. Today, we can choose from a host of tools that includes
cell phones, web pages, videoconferencing, and instant messaging, each one ever increasing its
features and benefits.
Because technology changes so rapidly, so do expectations for how and when to use it.
A 21st-century communicator understands that adaptation is the key to staying current, and being
open to learning new technologies is a must. Use Module 13 as a starting point, and expect change.
LO 13-1 Apply strategies for e-mail message organization.
LO 13-2 Create subject lines for e-mail messages.
LO 13-3 Apply strategies for e-mail message style and content.
LO 13-4 Apply strategies for time manage- ment with e-mail and other tasks.
LO 13-5 Identify rules for “netiquette.”
LO 13-6 Apply strategies for e-mail attach- ment use.
LO 13-7 Apply strategies for writing on the web.
LO 13-8 Recognize other technologies for the web.
Module 13 can help you to write more effectively with e-mail and for the web. After completing the
module, you should be able to
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 217loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 217 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
218 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
When you start a new job, you may have a short grace period before you have to write
paper documents. But most employers will expect you to “hit the ground running” with
e-mail. It’s likely that you’ll respond to—and perhaps initiate—e-mail messages during
your very first week at work.
As you write e-mail messages, keep these guidelines in mind:
• Although e-mail feels informal, it is not private, as a conversation might be. Your
employer may legally check your messages. And a message sent to one person can
be printed out or forwarded to others without your knowledge or consent. Don’t be
indiscreet in e-mail.
• All the principles of good business writing still apply with e-mail. Remember you-
attitude (◀◀ p. 90) and positive emphasis (◀◀ p. 101). Use reader benefits (◀◀ p. 112) when they’re appropriate. Use the pattern of organization that fits the purpose of the
message.
• Because e-mail feels like talking, some writers give less attention to spelling, grammar,
and proofreading. Many e-mail programs have spell-checkers; use them. Check your
message for grammatical correctness and to be sure you’ve included all the necessary
information.
• Reread and proofread your message before sending it.
• E-mail messages have to interest the reader in the subject line and first paragraph. If the
message is longer than one screen, the first screen must interest the reader enough to
make him or her continue. E-mail messages to people who report directly to you are easy
because people will read anything from their supervisors. But writing to people who are
not in a direct reporting relationship or to people outside your unit or organization takes
more care.
This map shows the shortest path
taken by a test message sent in
January 2002 from Somerset,
New Jersey, to more than 120,000
registered Internet nodes. Each
node may be one computer or
many joined in a network. Each
color represents a different service
provider. In the decade since, the
lines of digital communication have
increased substantially.
While texting and using social
networking pages are
increasingly popular ways to
communicate, e-mail remains
a common tool in business.
Avoid composing e-mails when
you are upset. Treat e-mails as
professionally as any business
message by proofreading
and checking for accuracy.
Like your authors, Bill Husted
recommends giving the reader
enough information in any
e-mail reply so the reader fully
understands your response.
If you’re not including the
original e-mail, at least specify
relevant details: “I checked,
and I’m free on Wednesday
for the short interview” instead
of “Wednesday is fine.”
Andrew Rosen warns against
over-relying on e-mail—use a
different tool, for instance, if the
message is urgent—and failing
to use ordinary pleasantries,
like a greeting at the beginning
and a thank you at the end of
the message.
Source: Husted, “Rules to Remember When Sending Your
E-Mails,” The Columbus Dispatch,
September 7, 2009, http://
www.dispatch.com/live/content/
business/stories/2009/09/07/
technobuddy_0907.ART_
ART_09-07-09_A7_M7EVEH3.
html?sid 5 101 ; and Andrew G. Rosen,
“18 Common Work E-Mail Mistakes,”
January 18, 2011, http://finance
.yahoo.com/news/18-Common-
Work-Email-usnews-1004018741.
html?x 5 0 .
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 218loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 218 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 219
How should I set up e-mail messages? LO 13-1
▶ Formats are still evolving.
Because there are so many different e-mail programs and formats, for the sake of the dis-
cussion here, focus on the general concepts they all share. Then, adapt them to your spe-
cific e-mail program.
Most e-mail programs prompt you to supply the various parts of the format. For exam-
ple, a blank Eudora screen prompts you to supply the name of the person the message goes
to and the subject line. Cc denotes computer copies; the recipient will see that these people are getting the message. Bcc denotes blind computer copies; the recipient does not see the names of these people. Most e-mail programs also allow you to attach documents from
other programs. Thus you can send someone a document with formatting, drafts of Pow-
erPoint slides, or the design for a brochure cover. The computer program supplies the date
and time automatically. Some programs allow you to write a message now and program the
future time at which you want it to be sent.
Some aspects of e-mail format are still evolving. In particular, some writers treat e-mail
messages as if they were informal letters; some treat them as memos. Even though the e-mail
screen has a “To” line (as do memos), some writers still use an informal salutation, as in
Figure 13.1 . The writer in Figure 13.1 ends the message with a signature block. You can store
a signature block in the e-mail program and set the program to insert the signature block
automatically. In contrast, the writer in Figure 13.2 omits both the salutation and his name.
When you send a message to an individual or a group you have set up, the “From:” line will
have your name and e-mail address. If you post a message to a group someone else has set
up, such as a listserv, be sure to give at least your name and e-mail address at the end of your
message, as some listservs strip out identifying information when they process messages.
With smartphones now
accounting for 54% of the U.S.
cell phone market, options to
check e-mail and the web con-
tinue to evolve and increase.
More than half of the smart-
phones purchased today use
the Android operating system.
Source: Nidhi Subbaraman, “Smart- phone Sales on the Rise in the U.S.,
Half of Those Are Androids ,” Fast
Company, July 13, 2012, http://
www.fastcompany.com/1842795/
smartphone-sales-on-the-rise-in-
the- us-half-of-those-are-androids .
After one date and then ignored
text and voice-mail messages, a
rebuffed man tracked down the
woman’s e-mail address and
sent her a 1,600-word screed
on the matter. Among his asser-
tions were that she must have
found him physically attractive
or she would have turned him
down in the first place, that
she gave all of the classic flirta-
tious “preening” signs, such as
playing with her hair, and that
she said, “It was nice to meet
you” at the end of the date,
an inconclusive statement that
contributed to his confusion
as to whether they had the
potential for a serious relation-
ship. Despite his requests for a
second date, the only outcome
was the e-mail message went
viral on the Internet.
Source: Tara Kelly, “Investment Manager’s Embarrassing e-mail
Lands on Reddit, Goes Viral ,”
December 9, 2011, http://www.
huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/07/
investment-manager-embarrassing-
email_n_1135279.html .
Figure 13.1 A Basic E-Mail Message in Eudora (direct request)
From: Sacha Zevchik <[email protected]>
Subject: Please Protect Computers
Cc:
Bcc:
Attached:
Roger--
Just a reminder: when your workers install the ceiling insulation next
week, be sure to have them put plastic sheeting over the desks and
computers to protect them from sawdust, insulation, and debris.
Thanks!
Sacha Zevchik
Administrative Assistant
Voice: 630-555-1000 ext. 117
Fax: 630-555-2391
E-Mail:
The writer can type in the e-mail address directly.
System puts in writer’s name and e-mail address.
Write your message below the line.
Some writers use an informal salutation to make the message friendlier.
No need to indent paragraphs.
The writer creates the signature block once, then can use it automatically. Some e-mail programs permit you to store several signature blocks with different levels of formality.
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 219loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 219 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
220 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
When you hit “reply,” the e-mail program automatically uses “Re:” (Latin for about ) and the previous subject. The original message is set off (see Figure 13.3 ). You may want
to change the subject line to make it more appropriate for your message.
If you prepare your document in a word processor, use two-inch side margins to create
short line lengths. If the line lengths are too long, they’ll produce awkward line breaks as
in Figure 13.3 . Use two- or three-space tab settings to minimize the wasted space on the
screen.
What kinds of subject lines should I use for e-mail messages? LO 13-2
▶ Be specific, concise, and catchy.
Subject lines in e-mail are even more important than those in letters and memos because
it’s so easy for an e-mail user to hit the Delete key. Subject lines must be specific,
concise, and catchy. Many e-mail users get so many messages that they don’t bother
reading messages if they don’t recognize the sender or if the subject doesn’t catch their
interest.
Try to keep the subject line short. If that’s difficult, put the most important part into
the first few words because some e-mail programs only show the first 28 characters of the
subject line.
If your message is very short, you may be able to put it in the subject line. “EOM” (end
of message) tells your reader that there is no additional information in the body of the
message.
Subject: Will Attend 3 pm Meeting EOM
Subject: Need Password for Survey EOM
Figure 13.2 An E-Mail Message with an Attachment (direct request)
To: TAC <[email protected]>
From: Keith Lee <[email protected]>
Subject: Please Comment on Draft
Cc:
Bcc:
Attached: D:\comm\personalcomputer.draft
Attached is the current draft on personally-owned computers that
people bring into the office.
The file is in WordPerfect:
Please send me any changes by 10 a.m. Thursday—I’ll collate them
and bring them to our meeting Thursday afternoon.
This writer omits salutation and signature block.
E-mail programs allow you to create “nicknames” or “aliases” for individuals and names for groups. “TAC” sends messages to everyone on the “Technology Advisory Committee.”
Above the line, use the “attach” icon—the path on your computer is inserted.
Many e-mail programs support hyperlinks. Readers can click here (the path where the message is stored on the recipient’s computer) to go to the document.
c:\attachments\personalcomputer.draft
Site to See
Go to
www.ftc.gov/bcp/edu/ pubs/consumer/alerts/ alt127.shtm for tips on avoiding phishing,
an Internet scam where e-mail
or pop-up messages trick
people into revealing personal
information, such as bank
account or Social Security
numbers.
Go to
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 220loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 220 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 221
To: Ellen Oshio <[email protected]> From: Mary Monroe <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Problems with Customer Service Reps Cc: [email protected]
Bcc: Wade <[email protected]>
Attached:
Thank you, Ms. Oshio, for letting us know about the problem you’ve had. If there is a problem, we want to fix it—and we can do that only when we know what the problem is.
Of course we want our customer service representatives to be polite and professional. I apologize for the responses you’ve had. I’ll work with all our reps to polish our phone skills.
When you call our Customer Service line, we want you to get service that’s just as good as the high-quality bath and kitchen fixtures you recommend to your clients!
Mary Monroe Customer Service Manager
P.S. The Lifetime Brass Finish is currently scheduled for June 1 availability. I’ll let you know a month from now if that date is going to hold.
At 11:01 AM 4/27/2013 -0500, you wrote:
I don’t want to switch suppliers, but recent experiences with your reps have just about made me change my mind. I just don’t want to do business with them anymore.
As you know, the Lifetime Brass Finish has missed several roll-out dates. Those
delays have been bad enough. But even worse have been my encounters with your customer reps. The reps I dealt with were curt and more concerned with justifying their mistakes than satisfying my needs.
Today, I had another distasteful encounter with a customer service rep (Danielle was
her name) who was rude and unprofessional—in fact, she hung up on me when I asked her last name. The woman had no business handling customer complaints because she
seemed
to take them personally. She accused me of “yelling” at her and then lectured me on her status as a human being. I am never rude or abusive to people; such behavior isn’t
nice and would ruin my own credibility.
I think you should know that, at least in their dealings with me, some of your reps
are not serving your interests well (and I have told them that on several occasions).
These odd, distracting line breaks result when you receive a message whose line lengths are too long for
your e-mail program. To avoid them, use short line lengths when you compose e-mail messages.
Vertical line denotes a message written by the recipient (or forwarded from someone else).
When you “reply,” the system inserts the recipient’s e-mail address.Hitting
“Reply” Produces “Re” and the original subject line.
Recipient sees “cc”—will know it is going to the whole department.
Recipient doesn’t see “Blind copies”
When you reply to a message, put your response first.
Using the reader’s name in ¶ 1 makes the message more friendly.
Rather than using a signature block, this writer just types her name and job title.
Space between your message and the original message to make yours easier to read. System inserts date, time of original message.
Figure 13.3 An E-Mail Reply with Copies (response to a complaint)
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 221loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 221 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
222 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Subject Lines for Informative and Positive E-Mail Messages
If you have good news to convey, be sure it’s in the subject line. Be as brief as you can.
The following subject lines would be acceptable for informative and good news e-mail
messages:
Subject: Travel Plans for Sales Meeting
Subject: Your Proposal Accepted
Subject: Reduced Prices During February
Subject: Your Funding Request Approved
When you reply to a message, the e-mail system automatically creates a subject line
“Re: [subject line of message to which you are responding].” If the subject line is good,
that’s fine. If it isn’t, you may want to create a new subject line. And if a series of messages
arises, create a new subject line. “Re: Re: Re: Re: Question” is not an effective subject line.
Subject Lines for Negative E-Mail Messages
When you say “no” to an e-mail request, just hit “reply” and use “Re:” plus whatever the
original subject line was for your response. When you write a new message, you will have
to decide whether to use the negative in the subject line. The subject line should contain
the negative when
• The negative is serious. Many people do not read all their e-mail messages. A neutral
subject line may lead the reader to ignore the message.
• The reader needs the information to make a decision or act.
• You report your own errors (as opposed to the reader’s).
Thus the following would be acceptable subject lines in e-mail messages:
Subject: We Lost McDonald’s Account
Subject: Power to Be Out Sunday, March 12
Subject: Error in Survey Data Summary
E-Mail Acronyms
ASAP As soon as possible
BTW By the way
EOM End of message
FAQ Frequently asked
questions
FYI For your information
IMHO In my humble
opinion
TMOT Trust me on this
LOL Lots of laughs;
Laugh out loud
Instant Replay
Keep Subject
Lines Short
Try to keep the subject line
short. If that’s difficult, put the
most important part into the
first few words because some
e-mail programs only show
the first 28 characters of the
subject line.
I R
Keep Subjec
Communication technologies are only valuable if they solve problems better than more conventional options.
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com ,
www.cartoonstock.com .
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 222loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 222 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 223
In other situations, a neutral subject line is acceptable.
Subject: Results of 360 8 Performance Appraisals
Subject Lines for Persuasive E-Mail Messages
The subject line of a persuasive e-mail message should make it clear that you’re asking
for something. If you’re sure that the reader will read the message, something as vague as
“Request” may work. Most of the time, it’s better to be more specific.
Subject: Move Meeting to Tuesday?
Subject: Need Your Advice
Subject: Provide Story for Newsletter?
Subject: Want You for United Way Campaign
Should I write e-mail messages the same way I write paper messages? LO 13-3
▶ Negative and persuasive messages will be more direct.
Readers read and reply to e-mail quite rapidly. Dealing with 80 to 100 messages in 20
or 30 minutes is normal. Write e-mail messages so that it’s easy for readers to under-
stand and act on them quickly. Writing messages so that the reader can deal with them
quickly means taking time to plan, revise, and proofread, just as you do with paper
messages. Figure 13.4 shows how a writer might allocate time in responding to a sim-
ple e-mail request. Figure 13.5 lists the activities needed for a more complex e-mail
message.
Writing Positive and Informative E-Mail Messages
E-mail is especially appropriate for positive and informative messages. Figure 13.3 is an
example of a positive response to a customer complaint.
Writing Negative E-Mail Messages
Major negatives, such as firing someone, should be delivered in person, not by e-mail. But
e-mail is appropriate for many less serious negatives.
A study of more than 977
million e-mail messages by
marketer MailerMailer found
that shorter subject lines
attract more clicks, and any
subject line longer than 50
characters is a bad idea.
Source: Julian Sancton, “The Art of the E-Mail Subject Line,” Bloomberg
Businessweek, June 28, 2012,
http://www.businessweek.com/
articles/2012-06-28/the-art-of-
the-e-mail-subject-line/ .
Figure 13.4 Allocating Time in Writing a Simple E-Mail Response (Your time may vary.)
E-mail answering a simple question. Total time: 7 minutes
Planning
Read the question.
Gather any information necessary for reply.
Plan the message.
2 minutes
Writing
Draft the message.
2 minutes
Revising
Reread draft.
Make small changes.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Send the message.
3 minutes
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 223loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 223 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
224 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Never write e-mail messages when you’re angry. If a message infuriates you, wait till
you’re calmer before you reply—and even then, reply only if you must. Writers using
e-mail are much less inhibited than they would be on paper or in person, sending insults,
swearing, name-calling, and making hostile statements. 1 Flaming is the name given to
this behavior. Flaming does not make you look like a mature, level-headed candidate
for bigger things. And because employers have the right to read all e-mail, flaming—
particularly if directed at co-workers, regulators, suppliers, or customers—may cause an
employee to be fired.
In the body of the e-mail message, give a reason only if it is watertight and reflects well
on the organization. Give an alternative, if one exists.
Edit and proofread your message carefully. An easy way for an angry reader to strike
back is to attack typos or other errors.
Remember that e-mail messages, like any documents, can become documents in law-
suits. When an e-mail negative is hard to write, you may want to compose it offline so that
you can revise it and even get feedback before you send the message.
Writing Persuasive E-Mail Messages
When you ask for something small or for something that is part of the reader’s job duties to
provide, your request can be straightforward. (See Figures 13.1 and 13.2 .)
• In the body of the message, give people all the information they need to act.
• At the end of the message, ask for the action you want. Make the action as easy as
possible, and specify when you need a response. You may want an immediate response
now (“Let me know asap whether you can write a story for the newsletter so that I can
save the space”) and a fuller one later (“we’ll need the text by March 4”).
When you ask for something big or something that is not a regular part of that person’s
duties, the first paragraph must not only specify the request but also make the reader view
it positively. Use the second paragraph to provide an overview of the evidence that the rest
of the message will provide: Use audience analysis (◀◀ p. 19) to find a reason that will convince the reader to do as you ask. Everyone is busy, so you need to make the reader
Figure 13.5 Allocating Time in Writing a Persuasive E-Mail Message (Your time may vary.)
Persuasive request with attachments. Total time: 3 hours
Planning
Understand the situation.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1). Think about document design (◀◀ Module 5). Organize the message.
1 hour
Writing
Draft the message and attachments.
½ hour
Revising
Reread draft.
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions and checklist for problem-solving
persuasive messages (◀◀ Figure 12.10). Revise draft and attachments.
Ask for feedback.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Send the message.
1½ hours
A ploy to persuade customers
to check out Toyota’s Matrix
auto instead became the
focus of a $10 million lawsuit.
Amber Duick alleged she was
terrified for five days after
cryptic e-mail messages sent
to her by “Sebastian Bowler”—
who wrote he was fleeing
the law and knew where she
lived—began showing up. The
fictitious character was created
by global marketing firm
Saatchi & Saatchi, which along
with Toyota, claimed Duick had
opted into participating in the
campaign after clicking on a
link in a personality test. But
Duick’s attorney disagreed,
saying that the statement
Duick signed electronically
was “indecipherable” and said
nothing about being stalked.
Source: Chauncey Alcorn, “Woman Sues Toyota over
‘Terrifying’ Prank,” ABC News,
October 9, 2009, http://abcnews.
go.com/Business/toyota-lawsuit-
woman-sues-elaborate-prank/
story?id 5 8776841&page 5 1 .
Instant Replay
When Not to Use E-Mail
Major negatives, like firing
someone, should be delivered
in person, not by e-mail. But
e-mail is appropriate for many
less serious negatives.
I R
When Not to
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 224loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 224 12/27/12 3:38 PM12/27/12 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
225
want to do as you ask. Be sure to provide complete information that the reader will need to act on your request. Ask for the action you want.
Major requests that require changes in values, culture, or lifestyles should not be made
in e-mail messages.
Here’s why we should do this.
Let me describe the project. Then, if you’re willing to be part of it, I’ll send you a copy
of the proposal.
Building a Critical Skill
Managing Your Time LO 13-4
Do you need more time? Welcome to the club! Although
researchers claim we have more leisure hours than we did 25
years ago, most of us feel more overworked than ever. And the
number of things you’ll need to do will only increase as you
assume more job responsibilities.
Managing your incoming e-mail is an essential skill for
every office worker.
• Create folders, mailboxes, and filters. For example, most
e-mail programs allow you to flag messages from your boss
in a special color.
• Move items out of your inbox.
• Delete messages after you act on them.
• If you need to save messages, move them to folders on a
specific topic or project.
• Create a “delete in 30 days” folder for items you’ll need
briefly.
• Purge files periodically—at least once a month. (Once a
week is better.)
Many workers benefit from managing all their activities (not
just their e-mail) more efficiently. To manage your time, divide
projects or incoming mail into three piles (real or imaginary).
Put urgent items in the A pile, important items in the B pile, and other items in the C pile. Do the A items first. Most people find that they never get to their C piles.
At the end of the day, make a list of the two most important
things you need to do the next day—and leave the paper where
you’ll see it when you start work the next morning.
If you still don’t have enough time to get your A s and most of your B s done, you’re ready for a more systematic approach to time.
1. For at least a week, log how you spend your time. Record
what you’re doing in 15-minute intervals.
2. Analyze your log to identify patterns, time obligations,
time wasters, and frustrations. You may be surprised to
find how much time you spend playing computer games.
Or you may discover that answering e-mail takes an hour
every morning—not the five minutes or so that you’d
estimated.
3. Clarify your goals. What do you want to accomplish
on the job and in your personal life? What intermediate
steps (e.g., taking a course, learning a new skill, or send-
ing out job applications) will you need to do to reach
your goals?
4. Set short-term priorities. For the next month, what do you
need to accomplish? In addition to goals for school and
work, think also about building relationships, meeting
personal obligations, and finding time to plan, to relax,
and to think.
5. Ask for help or negotiate compromises. Maybe you and
another parent can share babysitting so that you each have
some time to yourselves. If your responsibilities at work
are impossible, talk to your supervisor to see whether
some of your duties can be transferred to someone else or
whether you should stop trying to be excellent and settle
for “good enough.” You won’t be willing or able to elimi-
nate all your obligations, but sometimes dropping just one
or two responsibilities can really help.
6. Schedule your day to reflect your priorities. You don’t nec-
essarily have to work on every goal every day, but each
goal should appear on your schedule at least three times a
week. Schedule some time for yourself, too.
7. Evaluate your new use of time. Are you meeting more of
your goals? Are you feeling less stressed? If not, go back
to step 1 and analyze more patterns, obligations, time
wasters, and frustrations to see how you can make the best
use of the time you have.
Site to See
Go to
www.albion.com/ netiquette/netiquiz.html
to test your knowledge of
e-mail netiquette.
Go to
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 225loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 225 12/31/12 5:22 PM12/31/12 5:22 PM
Confirming pages
226 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
What e-mail “netiquette” rules should I follow? LO 13-5
▶ Lurk before you leap.
E-mail communities develop their own norms. If possible, lurk a few days—read the
messages without writing anything yourself—before you enter the conversation.
Follow these guidelines to be a good “netizen”:
• Never send angry messages by e-mail. If you have a conflict with someone, work it out
face-to-face, not electronically.
• Use full caps only to emphasize a single word or two. Putting the whole message in
caps is considered as rude as shouting.
• Send people only messages they need. Send copies to your boss or CEO only if he or
she has asked you to.
• Find out how your recipient’s system works and adapt your messages to it. Most
people would rather get a separate short message on each of several topics, so that the
messages can be stored in different mailboxes. But people who pay a fee to download
each message may prefer longer messages that deal with several topics.
• When you respond to a message, include only the part of the original message that
is essential so that the reader understands your posting. Delete the rest. If the quoted
material is long, put your response first, then the original material.
• When you compose a message in your word processor and call it up in e-mail, use short
line lengths (set the right margin at 2.5” or 3”). That’s the way to avoid the awkward
line breaks of Figure 13.3 .
How and when should I use attachments? LO 13-6
▶ When the reader expects and needs them.
Any text document can be copied and pasted into the body of your e-mail message. Send-
ing attachments makes the most sense when you send
• A long text document.
• A text document with extensive formatting.
• A nontext file (e.g., PowerPoint slides, html file, spreadsheet).
When you send an attachment, tell the reader what program it’s in (see Figure 13.2 ). Word-
processing programs can generally open documents in earlier programs but not later ones.
A computer virus is a script that harms your computer or erases your data. You can get a virus through e-mail, and viruses can infect files that are “attached” to e-mail messages
or that you download. To stay virus-free, 2
• Install an antivirus program on your computer, and keep it up-to-date.
• Ask people who send you attachments to include their names in the document titles.
Virus titles aren’t that specific.
• If you’re in doubt about an attachment, don’t open it.
• Forward e-mail messages only when you’re sure of the source and contents.
What style should I use when writing for the web? LO 13-7
▶ Use good business writing principles, but consider how people will interact with the text, too.
Good business writing style basics—being clear, concise, and complete—also work when
writing for the web. Unless your page is designed for readers seeking highly technical
Like viruses, some spyware
programs can infect your
computer with malicious code.
Your web browser may have
security features to block
spyware. Popular free spyware
detection and clean-up
programs include Spybot and
Ad Aware, available at www.
cnet.com .
Site to See
Go to
www.vmyths.com to learn whether a rumored
virus is real or a hoax.
Go to
According to a Pew Research
Center study, 51% of Americans
preferred vocal communication
while only 31% preferred to
be contacted via texts. The
average adult sends about 10
texts a day but makes 12 phone
calls. However, those numbers
may differ according to age.
An earlier survey by the Nielsen
Company found the average
13- to 17-year-old sends and
receives 3,339 texts a month, or
more than 100 per day. People
from ages 45 to 54 sent and
received 323 texts a month.
Sources: Erica Ho, “Texting Overtakes Voice Calls for British
Mobile Users,” Time, July 19, 2012,
http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/
07/19/texting-overtakes-voice-
calls-for-british-mobile-users/
#ixzz22LxwLhgz ; and Katherine
Rosman, “Y U Luv Texts, H8 Calls,”
The Wall Street Journal, October
14, 2010, http://online.wsj.com/
article/SB10001424052748703673
604575550201949192336.html .
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 226loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 226 12/27/12 3:39 PM12/27/12 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 227
information, keep your style simple and conversational in tone, and use titles, headings,
bulleted lists, and only necessary jargon. Draft your information using a word processor so
you can edit and proofread carefully. Module 16 [▶▶ p. 272] provides more information on creating a good business style.
When drafting, think about how readers will use the information. Web surfers gener-
ally skim information, at least initially, so lengthy sentences, thick paragraphs, frequent
downloads, and too many hyperlinks, or jumps to new pages, can discourage surfers from continuing. The same goes for unnecessary graphics or complex introductions that slow
loading the page, especially for people using dial-up modems.
Because there is no hard data on how many hyperlinks are too many for readers, use
your best judgment when you can’t ask your audience directly. One way to check is to
highlight hyperlinks in your draft. If they look like too many, they probably are. Consider
making some links into buttons, putting links on a separate page, or folding the links’
information into the body text. Cut unnecessary links.
Images should support the text. When you write titles and captions, consider telling a
story [Module 25 ▶▶ p. 418]. John Morkes and Jakob Nielsen advocate creating “scannable text” to make Web pages
accessible: 3
• Highlight key words.
• Use meaningful, not clever, subheadings.
• Include bulleted lists.
• Use one idea per paragraph.
• Write in the “inverted pyramid” style of organization, with the main idea up front.
• Use half the word count of a printed page.
• Avoid “marketese,” or language that is extremely subjective and boastful.
In many organizations, the people who provide written “content” are different than the
people who actually design the pages. Where possible, work with designers so that at each
stage of the drafting process you can test what you’ve written for readability against the
physical constraints of the layout. For instance, computer screens generally are wider but
shallower than a printed page. If you write lengthy paragraphs or long document sections,
readers may have to scroll more, which can create eyestrain, especially on monitors whose
images seem to flicker due to slower refresh rates. Frames, or sections on the page, can organize text and reduce the need to scroll often. Module 5 [◀◀ pp. 78–79] provides infor- mation on designing effective screens.
Insist on a clean font, pleasing but contrasting colors, and text-supportive graphics
rather than simply decorative ones. Keep in mind, too, that vision-impaired surfers can
use the web better if you encourage a layout that accommodates them, such as one using
descriptive text links that screen reader software such as Jaws can recognize.
As with any technology, the web is evolving, so expect rules to develop and change. In
the meantime, keep a library of web pages you believe work as models, and where pos-
sible, test your web pages and content with people who will be using them.
Can I use blogging on the job? LO 13-7
▶ Yes, so long as you are professional.
Creating weblogs, or blogging, is an increasingly popular way of communicating on the web. Millions of bloggers post thoughts, images, and links in journal-like entries made
available through the Internet and in such languages as Arabic, Chinese, English, French,
German, Italian, Japanese, Portuguese, Korean, and Spanish.
Blogging is so popular, some businesses are turning to it to aid in recruiting employ-
ees, and CEOs are posting their own blogs in an effort to speak directly to customers
and associates. A few people have managed to turn blogging into a career. But blogging
While blogging continues to be
popular for many writers, it may
be losing its appeal among
younger people. According to
the Internet and American Life
Project at the Pew Research
Center, blogging among
people ages 12 to 17 fell by
half from 2006 to 2009 and
by two percentage points in
2010 over two years earlier for
people ages 18 to 33. Many
younger people prefer instead
to use social networking sites
like Facebook and Twitter.
Source: Verne G. Kopytoff, “Blogging by Young on Decline,”
The Columbus Dispatch, March 1,
2011, http://www.dispatch.com/
live/content/life/stories/2011/03/01/
blogging-by-young-on- decline.
html?sid 5 101 .
Among the tips offered by
Christine Erickson for using
social networking tools to
market a business are to see
if a vanity URL is available,
use social plug-ins wherever
possible, and provide local
content, such as a promotion
at a nearby venue or messages
customized to languages
spoken in an area. A variety
of apps exist to help business
users, such as Hootsuite,
which lets users publish once
but distribute messages
across multiple tools, such as
Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn,
and Google 1 .
Source: Christine Erickson, “9 Tips for Small Business Marketing on
Facebook,” February 20, 2012,
http://mashable.com/2012/02/20/
facebook-marketing-small-business/ .
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 227loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 227 12/27/12 3:39 PM12/27/12 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
228 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
in a professional setting is different than blogging in a personal one. For instance, many
bloggers feel free to share deeply personal information about themselves or unflattering
opinions about people in their lives or the companies they work for. To do so in a busi-
ness situation might be considered inappropriate. In fact, some employees have been dis-
ciplined or fired for doing just that, such as programmer Mark Jen, whose complaints
about the health care benefits and free food policy of his employer, Google, got him fired.
Retired General Motors (GM) Vice Chairman Bob Lutz joined the growing ranks of top
executives who are blogging; his FastLane Blog attracts both supporters and detractors of
GM’s vehicles, but Lutz’s balanced responses have won him praise. 4
Remember that if companies own or pay for computer resources, they may be entitled
to access e-mail and blogs created by employees on their systems. In addition, blogs may
be cached just like web pages, meaning that years after the fact someone may be able to
access an otherwise nonexistent blog.
Websites such as blogger.com and businessblogconsulting.com provide information on
creating blogs and how and where to post them. Search engines for blogs include Google
Blog, Technorati, and Blogdigger.
To create a blog for business, Jeff Wuorio suggests these basics: 5
• Identify your audience.
• Decide where your blog should live.
• Start talking.
• Get into the practice of “blog rolling,” or linking to websites and other blogs.
• Emphasize keywords.
• Keep it fresh.
• Watch your traffic closely.
Can I use social networking tools for business situations? LO 13-7
▶ Yes, as long as you keep things professional.
Many social networking tools are now used by businesses and business profession- als to communicate the latest news about themselves, products and services, or even
available jobs. While being “plugged in” can provide a greater network of contacts to
draw from than in more traditional settings, disclosing information of any kind on the
web can expose people to unwanted attention. Choose carefully based on your comfort
level.
Be professional when using
social networking sites like
Facebook or LinkedIn for
business. Images, music,
and text should be office-
appropriate, and avoid
criticizing co-workers or past
or present employers. You
can use social networking
to connect with other
professionals or even to look
for a job.
Derogatory speech is obviously
foolish, but posting it in the
digital age invites far greater
scrutiny than ever before.
Recent faux pas include
broadcaster Tony Bruno’s
tweet slamming San Francisco
Giants pitcher Ramon Ramirez,
originally from the Dominican
Republic, as an “illegal alien.”
The baseless comment was
similar to slurs from Mike
Bacsik about “Mexicans in San
Antonio” that got him fired.
University of California at Los
Angeles student Alexandra
Wallace posted a video titled
“Asians at the Library” that,
among other things, mocked
students calling relatives after
the Japan Tsunami. Thousands
of Facebook users decried
the video, and Wallace later
dropped out after reports of
death threats. Soon after Amy
Winehouse died, Microsoft
angered people by tweeting
that fans could honor the singer
by buying her album from the
company’s Zune website.
Sources: ‘Duk, “Radio Host Tony Bruno Calls Ramirez an ‘Illegal
Alien’ After Plunking,” August 6,
2011, http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/
blog/big_league_stew/post/Radio-
host-Tony-Bruno-calls-Ramirez-an-
8216-il?urn 5 mlb-wp15190 ;
“Bacsik Fired for Racially Insensitive
Tweet,” ESPN, April 27, 2010,
http://sports.espn.go.com/dallas/
mlb/news/story?id 5 5141002 ;
Simone Wilson, “Alexandra
Wallace, UCLA Students, Rants
on Asians for Phoning Tsunami
victims in the Library,” March 14,
2011, http://blogs.laweekly.com/
informer/2011/03/alexandra_
wallace_ucla_girl_rant_asians_
in_the_library.php ; and Deborah
Netburn, “Microsoft Apologizes
for Winehouse Tweet,” The Los
Angeles Times, July 25, 2011,
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/
technology/2011/07/microsofts-
amy-winehouse-tweet-inspired-
disgust-in-twittersphere.html .
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 228loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 228 12/27/12 3:39 PM12/27/12 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 229
Many users still blur the line between what is appropriate personally and
professionally. A racy photo from a party might be fine with personal friends, but poten-
tial or current employers could feel otherwise. Recent awkward situations show the pit-
falls of forgetting that the audience for social networking sites, as with blogging, may be
larger than users appreciate. For example, after being diagnosed with depression, IBM’s
Natalie Blanchard began receiving sick leave payments. Months later, they abruptly
stopped. She said when she called to find out why, her insurer, Manulife, explained
Facebook photos of her having fun at a bar and on the beach showed she was ready to
return to work. 6
Remember, when using a social networking tool in business:
• Keep things professional. If it’s inappropriate at work, it’s inappropriate online. That
includes comments, images, and music. (◀◀ Module 9 for tips on keeping a professional image.)
• Know who your online friends are, as well as who their friends are. Choose your friends
wisely, and set your privacy controls accordingly.
• Know that once information is online, it might be possible to retrieve it again in the
future, even after you’ve deleted items or the page.
• Read user agreements carefully. A site may, for instance, state that in exchange for
letting you post, you agree to let it monitor communication or sell personal information
to marketers.
• When in doubt, create two pages: one for personal friends and one for business ones.
Sites include tutorials or help functions to get started. Technology evolves quickly,
meaning tools and techniques to use them can change at any time. Stay on top of changes
by visiting sites often. Upgrade to the latest versions of software when warranted. Under-
stand, too, that just as one tool becomes popular or fades into obscurity, several more are
likely on the way.
Facebook and MySpace
Though they format information differently, facebook.com and myspace.com both let
users create a page with personal information, such as name, photos, and biography. They
also have the option to include sound or video, as well as to blog or link to one. Users can
make the information public so that all visitors have access, or they can set the page to
private, meaning only those given permission can view beyond a limited first page. With Facebook and MySpace, users link to friends, or specific users within the site’s popula- tion. When new information is posted, friends can get updates and respond to comments
left on their pages. Users can also join groups according to shared interests, such as their
hobbies, college, or companies, becoming fans. While basic services are free, there may be paid services available as well. Facebook,
for instance, allows users to purchase advertising that targets specific audiences based
on interests or affiliation. Users increasingly are turning to Facebook and MySpace to
seek out jobs, either through postings or through communicating with their network
of friends.
Spoke and LinkedIn
Spoke.com and linkedin.com were designed for traditional business networking pur-
poses. As with their more personal counterparts, they let users supply information, such
as profession and education; users may also post résumés, look for jobs, list past employ-
ers, or in some cases even ask the user community general questions, similar to features
found on search engines. The advantage is that users are business professionals, and as
this book goes to press, LinkedIn alone reports more than 160 million users, including
job recruiters.
For an organization’s social
networking pages, also keep
in mind:
• Update pages frequently—at
least several times a week.
Newsfeeds, in particular,
must pique the interest
of followers with timely
information. Post new photos
and images. Create events.
• Make one person
responsible for updating the
company page. Designate
someone in a department to
be the “point person.”
• Consider carefully any
decisions to run ads on
the company page. Make
sure ads and their sponsors
match your organization’s
expectations.
• Understand the value of
“word of mouth” advertising.
Social networking sites
thrive on it.
• Explore the features that
social networking sites
provide. Facebook, for
instance, allows users to
locate audiences based
on general interests and
style. You can also sponsor
stories, run your own ads,
and even schedule posts
ahead of time.
Site to See
Go to
www.fansbuy.org/using- facebook-for-business/ for 20 tips on using Facebook
in business. If it doesn’t fit,
move this Site to See to the
column bottom on the next
page, please.
Go to
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 229loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 229 12/27/12 3:40 PM12/27/12 3:40 PM
Confirming pages
230 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Twitter integrates computers and cell phones for sharing quick messages, or tweets. Snappy blurbs of 140 characters or fewer are the norm, and users can link to friends so that updates
are in real time. Like his boss and other high-profile U.S. officials, former White House
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs joined the ranks of those tweeting, which also included
CEOs like Tony Hsieh and Steve Jobs and celebrities like Jay-Z, Miley Cyrus, and Brit-
ney Spears. Users can also find the latest headlines from organizations like CNN and Fox
News. DePaul University even offers a class on twittering. 7 The key to effective tweeting is
to keep messages brief, timely, and catchy.
YouTube
Youtube.com revolutionized the way people create and access video on the web. Visitors
can find everything from amateur skits and home movies to professional training videos,
movie trailers, and even some films and television shows. Some professionals upload video
résumés [▶▶ Module 28] to the site, which like most sites has a search function.
What other technologies use the Internet? LO 13-8
▶ Fax, phone, instant messaging, and videoconferencing services are all available on the web.
The Internet is making it possible for many services, such as fax and phone, to be
handled through the web, sometimes at reduced cost compared to traditional means. Oper-
ating systems such as Windows 8 provide rudimentary fax capability.
According to a report by the
Pew Internet and American Life
Project, Latino- and Hispanic-
Americans are embracing such
web technology as social media
faster than other groups in the
U.S. For example, 54.2% of
Hispanics online use Facebook
compared to 47.7% for non-
Latino blacks and 43% for
non-Latino whites. U.S. Latinos
and Hispanics also increasingly
use smartphones rather than
computers to access services.
Source: Adrian Carrasquillo, “How Latinos Will Use Social
Media to Change the World,”
January 11, 2011, Fox News,
http://latino.foxnews.com/
latino/lifestyle/2011/01/11/
latinos-rule-social-media/ .
Keep business tweets simple
and professional. Messages
must be 140 characters or
less. If you have long web
addresses to post, free sites
like tinyurl.com can shorten
them for you. Remember, too,
that users are drawn to current
information, so frequently
tweeting relevant news is a
good strategy to keep people
following you.
Cell phones have changed how
people live their lives—as well
as manners. “Loutish cell use
is out of control,” Microsoft’s
Joanna L. Krotz contends,
and she suggests users never
take calls during business
meetings, stay at least 10 feet
from anyone while talking, and
never talk in enclosed public
spaces, such as elevators
or bathrooms. Things have
gotten so bad that New York
Philharmonic conductor Alan
Gilbert stopped a performance
of Mahler’s Ninth Symphony
until an audience member
silenced his ringing phone—to
the applause of outraged
concertgoers. J. J. McCorvey
notes that businesses
should create cell phone use
policies for both legal and
etiquette reasons. Among
his recommendations are to
make the vibrate function the
workplace default, specify there
(continued)
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 230loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 230 12/27/12 3:40 PM12/27/12 3:40 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 231
Smartphones continue to evolve quickly in form and function, allowing users to
talk, text, e-mail, surf the web, take photos and video, and more. These capabilities
will continue to grow in number and sophistication, creating more features but also
an ongoing learning curve for users. Many people are concerned about cell phone
etiquette, as they are offended by interruptions and loud or inappropriate conversa-
tions in such spaces as theaters, classrooms, restaurants, houses of worship, and even
restrooms.
Many companies now provide or subscribe to instant messaging services for employ-
ees, and companies such as Yahoo! and MSN have instant messaging features for gen-
eral users. As with a telephone conversation, instant messaging requires people to respond
quickly but also to think carefully about what they are going to say. Instant messages can
be saved for future reference.
Videoconferencing sites like Skype are making it possible for people in different loca-
tions to meet “face-to-face” without ever leaving the office. Rising fuel costs and the drive
for greater efficiency are making videoconferencing an attractive alternative to travel, but
there are limitations. Cameras still produce two-dimensional images of limited scope,
sound may be tinny, and video infrequently captures a person’s warmth or physical pres-
ence. People speaking into a camera must remember, too, that their movements appear
opposite to people watching them—a gesture to the speaker’s right, for instance, will
appear to the audience’s left.
New technologies are often attractive, but choose wisely which is appropriate for you.
Remember that technology is only as valuable as it is useful.
is no expectation of privacy
on a business phone, and
clarify content and language
guidelines for business.
Sources: Joanna Krotz, “Cell Phone Etiquette: 10 Dos and
Don’ts,” 2011, http://www.
microsoft.com/business/
en-us/resources/technology/
communications/cell-phone-
etiquette-10-dos-and-donts.
aspx?fbid 5 GI6G_TpfYbp ; Maura
Judkis, “N.Y. Philharmonic Phone
Disruption: A Cell-Phone Etiquette
Reminder,” The Washington Post,
January 13, 2012, http://www.
washingtonpost.com/blogs/
arts-post/post/ny-philharmonic-
phone-disruption-a-cell-phone-
etiquette-reminder/2012/01/13/
gIQActV9vP_blog.html ; and
J. J. McCorvey, “How to Create a
Cell Phone Policy,” Inc., February
10, 2011, http://www.inc.com/
guides/how-to-create-a-cell-phone-
policy.html .
(continued)
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Most e-mail programs prompt you to supply the various parts of
the format. (LO 13-1) • Some aspects of e-mail format are still evolving. In particular,
some writers treat e-mail messages as if they were informal let-
ters; some treat them as memos. (LO 13-1) • If you prepare your document in a word processor, use two-inch
side margins to create short line lengths. (LO 13-1) • Subject lines for e-mail messages must be specific, concise, and
catchy. (LO 13-2) • If your message is short, you may be able to put it in the subject
line. (LO 13-2) • Create e-mail messages that people can read and act on quickly.
(LO 13-3) • E-mail is especially appropriate for positive and informative
messages. Major negatives, however, should not be delivered by
e-mail. (LO 13-3) • Never write e-mail messages when you’re angry. (LO 13-3) • Flaming is writing insulting or hostile e-mail messages. Avoid
this behavior. (LO 13-3) • When you ask in e-mail for something small or part of a read-
er’s job duties, your request can be straightforward. When you
ask for something big or outside their normal job duties, let
your first paragraph specify the request so the reader views it
positively. Let the second paragraph provide an overview of the
evidence the rest of the message will provide. (LO 13-3) • Create folders, mailboxes, and filters to keep e-mail messages
organized. (LO 13-4) • Use time-saving efforts, such as reviewing time obligations and clar-
ifying your goals, with other activities besides e-mailing. (LO 13-4) • For good “netiquette,” in addition to avoiding flaming and writ-
ing e-mail messages when angry: (LO 13-5)
• Use full caps only to emphasize a single word or two.
• Send people only messages they need.
• Adapt your messages to the recipient’s system when pos-
sible. Include only the part of your original message needed
by the reader when responding to a message.
• Sending attachments makes the most sense when you send
(LO 13-6) • A long text document.
• A text document with extensive formatting.
• A nontext file.
• A computer virus is a script that harms your computer or erases data. You can get a virus through e-mail and through attach-
ments. Use antivirus software as a defense. (LO 13-6) • Use good business writing principles when writing for the web,
but consider how people will interact with the text, too. Where
possible, work with web page designers while writing, and test
the page and content with people who will be using the page.
(LO 13-7) • If you blog on the job, keep it professional. Stay away from
sharing deeply personal information about yourself or unflatter-
ing opinions about people in your life or the company you work
for. (LO 13-7) • You can use social networking sites in business so long as you
keep things professional. (LO 13-7) • If it isn’t appropriate for work, it isn’t appropriate to post.
• Sites to consider using are MySpace, Facebook, Spoke, Linke-
dIn, Twitter, and YouTube. (LO 13-7) • Fax, phone, instant messaging, and videoconferencing services
are all available on the web. (LO 13-8) • Remember, technology is only as valuable as it is useful.
(LO 13-8)
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 231loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 231 12/27/12 3:41 PM12/27/12 3:41 PM
Confirming pages
232 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Assignments for Module 13
13.1 How do subject lines for e-mail messages differ from those for paper messages? (LO 13-2)
13.2 Should e-mail messages use you-attitude, positive emphasis, and reader benefits? (LO 13-3)
13.3 What is flaming? (LO 13-3, LO 13-5) Questions for Comprehension
13.4 Why should you be flexible when using different e-mail systems? (LO 13-1)
13.5 Why is e-mail better for informative and positive messages than for negative ones? (LO 13-2)
13.6 Why is it OK for your boss to send you a message with the subject line “To Do,” even though that wouldn’t
work when you need to ask a colleague to do something?
(LO 13-2)
13.7 Why should negative and persuasive e-mail messages be more direct than their paper counterparts? (LO 13-3)
Questions for Critical Thinking
You’re a member of a self-managed team on a factory
assembly line. When you check the team’s e-mail, you
find this message from the factory’s Quality Assurance
Manager:
Exercises and Problems
13.8 Calming an Angry Co-worker (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
Subject: Holes in Your Heads?
Yesterday in the scrap bin I found a casting with three times too many holes in it.
How could a machinist make such a mistake? What’s going on?
The answer is simple. The extra holes come not from
crazy machinists but from crafty ones. Your team uses
old machines that aren’t computerized. When you make
a part on those machines, you have to drill a test piece
first to be sure that the alignment and size of the holes
are correct. This testing has to be done every time you set
up for a new run. Your team has figured out that you can
use less material by reusing the test piece until it resem-
bles Swiss cheese, rather than throwing it away after a
single testing. Your team is one of the most efficient in
the plant, thanks to creative moves like this one. Write an
e-mail response.
Your organization has traditionally given employees sev-
eral holidays off: New Year’s; Martin Luther King, Jr.,
Day; Independence Day; Veterans’ Day; Thanksgiving; and
Christmas. Employees who celebrate other holidays (e.g.,
Good Friday, Yom Kippur, Ramadan, Chinese New Year,
the Hindu holiday Diwali) have been able to take those
days off with the consent of their supervisors. But some
employees have complained that it is unfair to depend on
the goodwill of supervisors. And now a few other employ-
ees have complained that people who honor other holidays
are getting “extra” days off since they take those days in
addition to the standard holidays.
Therefore, the executive committee of your organiza-
tion has decided to allow employees any 10 days off for
holidays; they will have to tell their supervisors which days
they plan to take off. People will be asked in December
which holidays they want to take off in the following year.
People can change their minds during the year as long as
they have not yet taken off the full 10 holidays. Any reli-
gious, ethnic, or cultural holiday is acceptable. (Someone
who wants to take off Cinco de Mayo or Bastille Day can do so.) Vacations, personal days off, and sick days are not
affected by this policy.
As vice president for human resources, write an e-mail
to all employees, announcing the new policy.
Hints:
• Pick a business, government, or nonprofit organization
that you know something about.
• Will the office be “open” every day? If not, do all
employees already have keys, or will they need to pick
them up so they can get into the office to work days that
few other people work?
• See www.holidayfestival.com for a list of holidays in
various countries.
• Use your analysis from Problem 2.13.
13.9 Announcing Holiday Diversity (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
Your employees’ health insurance allows them to choose from
one of three health maintenance organizations (HMOs). Once
the employee has selected an HMO, he or she must get all
medical care (except for out-of-state emergency care) from the
HMO. Employees receive a listing of the doctors and hospi-
tals affiliated with each HMO when they join the company and
13.10 Refusing to Pay an Out-of-Network Bill (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 232loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 232 12/27/12 3:41 PM12/27/12 3:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 233
pick an HMO. They get to choose again each October when
they have a one-month “open enrollment period” to change to
another of the three HMOs if they choose.
As director of employee benefits, you’ve received an
angry e-mail from Alvin Reineke. Alvin had just received
a statement from his HMO stating that it would not pay
for the costs of his hernia operation two months ago at
St. Catherine’s Hospital in your city. Alvin is furious: One
of the reasons he accepted a job with your company six
months ago was its excellent health care coverage. He feels
the company lied to him and should pay for his (rather
large) hospital bill because the HMO refuses to do so.
The HMO that Alvin had selected uses two hospitals, but
not St. Catherine’s. When Alvin joined the company six months
ago, he, like all new employees, received a thick booklet
explaining the HMO options. Perhaps he did not take the time
to read it carefully. But that’s not your fault. Alvin can change
plans during the next open enrollment, but even if he switched to
an HMO that included St. Catherine’s, that HMO wouldn’t pay
for surgery performed before he joined that HMO.
Write an e-mail message to Alvin giving him the bad news.
Hints:
• What tone should you use? Should you be sympathetic?
Should you remind him that this is his own fault?
• Is there any help you can give Alvin (e.g., information
about credit union short-term loans or even information
about negotiating payment terms with the hospital)?
• What can you do to make Alvin feel that the company
has not lied to him?
Today, you received the following e-mail message from
your boss:
13.11 Saying No to the Boss (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
Your organization has a web page, but its address isn’t
on all your business communication materials (stationery,
business cards, invoices, product packaging, brochures, cat-
alogs, voice-mail announcements, e-mail signatures, pro-
motional items such as pens, coffee cups, and mouse pads).
Adding the URL would promote the website (and suggest
that your organization is up-to-date).
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Identify the person in your organization with the power to
authorize adding the URL to physical materials, and e-mail
that person asking him or her to authorize this change.
b. Write an e-mail to all employees, asking them to add the
URL and a brief message promoting the organization to
their e-mail signature blocks.
13.13 Suggesting a Change in Your Organization’s Communication Materials (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
Send a question or other message that calls for a response to
a website. You could
• Ask a question about a product.
• Apply for an internship or a job (assuming you’d really
like to work there).
• Ask for information about an internship or a job.
• Ask a question about an organization or a candidate
before you donate money or volunteer.
• Offer to volunteer for an organization or a candidate. You
can offer to do something small and onetime (e.g., spend
an afternoon stuffing envelopes, put up a yard sign), or
you can, if you want to, offer to do something more time-
consuming or even ongoing.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Turn in a copy of your e-mail message and the response
you received.
b. Critique messages written by other students in your
class. Suggest ways the messages could be clearer and
more persuasive.
c. Write a memo evaluating your message and the
response, using the checklists for Modules 12 and 10,
respectively. If you did not receive a response, did the
fault lie with your message?
d. Make an oral presentation to the class, evaluating your
message and the response, using the checklists for Mod-
ules 12 and 10, respectively. If you did not receive a
response, did the fault lie with your message?
Hints:
• Does the organization ask for questions or offers? Or
will yours “come out of the blue”?
• How difficult will it be for the organization to supply
the information you’re asking for or to do what you’re
asking it to do? If you’re applying for an internship or
offering to volunteer, what skills can you offer? How
much competition do you have?
• What can you do to build your own credibility, so
that the organization takes your question or request
seriously?
13.12 Sending a Question to a Website (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
Subject: Oversee United Way
I’m appointing you to be the company representative to oversee United Way. You’ve
done a good job the last three years, so this year should be a piece of cake!
It’s true that you know exactly what to do. The job
wouldn’t be hard for you. But that’s just the problem. You
wouldn’t learn anything, either. You’d rather have an assign-
ment that would stretch you, teach you new skills, or enable
you to interact with new people. Continuing to grow is your
insurance of continued employability and mobility. Three
upcoming projects in your division might offer growth:
creating videos for a “town meeting” for all employees to
be held at the beginning of next quarter, creating an intranet
for the company, or serving on the diversity committee.
Any of these would be time-consuming, but no more time-
consuming than running the United Way campaign.
Write to your boss, asking for something more chal-
lenging to do.
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 233loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 233 12/27/12 3:41 PM12/27/12 3:41 PM
Confirming pages
234 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Hints:
• Pick a business, nonprofit, or government organization
you know something about. What materials does it pro-
duce? Which lack the URL?
• Will the reader know you? Has your organization
asked for suggestions, or will this come “out of the
blue”?
• What should be done with materials already printed or
manufactured that lack the web address? Should they be
discarded, or used until they run out?
• Who in your organization has the authority to authorize
this change?
• What exactly do you want your reader to do? What infor-
mation does your reader need?
As manager of consumer affairs for your company, you
received the following e-mail message:
13.15 Addressing a Customer Complaint about a Coupon (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
Today, the following message shows up in your e-mail
inbox from your boss:
13.14 Asking for More Time and/or Resources (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3)
Subject: Fwd: Want Climate Report
This request has come down from the CEO. I’m delegating it to you. See me a couple of days
before the board meeting—the fi rst Monday of next month—so we can go over your presentation.
>I want a report on the climate for underrepresented groups in our organization. A presentation at
>the last board of directors’ meeting showed that while we do a good job of hiring women and
>minorities, few of them rise to the top. The directors suspect that our climate may not be
>supportive and want information on it. Please prepare a presentation for the next meeting. You’ll
>have 15 minutes.
Making a presentation to the company’s board of directors
can really help your career. But preparing a good presenta-
tion and report will take time. You can look at exit reports
filed by human resources when people leave the company,
but you’ll also need to interview people—lots of people.
And you’re already working 60 hours a week on three
major projects, one of which is behind schedule. Can one
of the projects wait? Can someone else take one of the proj-
ects? Can you get some help? Should you do just enough to
get by? Ask your boss for advice—in a way that makes you
look like a committed employee, not a slacker.
My name is Jan Hofbauer, and I recently visited one of your Kelly Green apparel stores in Denver.
While I am a long-time customer who enjoys the many great styles you have to offer, I was dis-
mayed by my experience.
I wanted to use a coupon I received via e-mail for 20% off any single item. But when I tried to use
the coupon, I was told there were restrictions, including it only being applicable to regularly priced
merchandise.
I explained to the manager that nowhere on the coupon was a statement to that effect. When she
said the statement appears on the Kelly Green web page, I pointed out I wasn’t on the Internet, I
was in the store! She would not honor the coupon, but since I had spent 30 minutes of valuable time
picking out the sweater, I purchased it anyway.
It’s unfair to wait until after a customer has taken time out of her busy schedule to drive to the store
to tell her of restrictions. If anything, this all seems like fraud. She should have honored the coupon.
What I want to know now is what are you going to do to keep me as a customer?
Jan Hofbauer
After further research, you discovered the coupon was
sent as a promotion for the Kelly Green web page. In fact,
in the e-mail message and on the coupon, a statement prom-
inently indicates it is only good for use at the web page
and that some restrictions apply. When customers click on
the link to the web page, a statement further explaining
restrictions appears, including the coupon being for regu-
larly priced items. Therefore, you don’t feel it’s appropriate
to give Ms. Hofbauer a 20% credit on her Visa card.
However, you are willing to give her a 10% credit for
being a loyal customer and for her troubles. Write an e-mail
message to Ms. Hofbauer explaining your decision.
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 234loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 234 12/27/12 3:41 PM12/27/12 3:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology 235
Your small but prestigious financial services firm has a web
page that increasingly gets traffic and now you, the com-
munications director, want to convince upper management
to branch out to Facebook and Twitter pages. But several of
the senior partners think that social networking sites are too
trendy and informal and don’t accurately reflect the firm’s
conservative culture. They would prefer that most com-
munication with clients happens by phone, letter, or face
to face, and though they are comfortable with e-mail, feel
that it is best left for internal communication. You know
that convincing the senior partners to adopt more modern
strategies will be tough, but you also know the firm stands
to lose its competitive edge in a rapidly changing world if
they don’t.
As your instructor directs,
a. Identify the person or persons in the firm who might help
you establish credibility on technical matters. What addi-
tional resources might help you to establish a claim that
social networking will help the firm? What information
might you collect that can further bolster your claims?
b. Write an e-mail message to the senior partners request-
ing the firm use social networking. (Alternatively, write a
paper message if you believe that e-mail is too informal.)
Hints:
• Consider the potential impacts. Clearly, the move to
include social networking in marketing and communica-
tion efforts reflects a shift in organizational culture. How
might you persuade people firmly invested in the sta-
tus quo that changes are both necessary and beneficial?
What objections might they have?
• Do research. Are there examples or case studies of simi-
lar organizations adopting social networking? What can
you learn from their experiences that would be helpful in
your message?
• Think creatively. Is there a way to test social networking out
on a smaller scale with the firm before going “live” to clients?
• Consider company resources. What would be needed in
terms of finances, training, equipment, and personnel to
use social networking? If the needed resources are mini-
mal, how might that make your appeal more attractive?
13.16 Requesting Your Firm Use Social Networking (LO 13-1 to LO 13-3, LO 13-7)
Pronouns must agree with the nouns to which they refer in two
ways: (1) person and (2) number—singular or plural.
Making Nouns and Pronouns Agree
Polishing Your Prose
Singular Plural
First-person I, my, mine, me, myself we, our, us, ourselves
Second-person you, your, yourself you, your, our, ours, yourselves
Third-person he, she, it, him, her, his, hers they, their, them, themselves
Incorrect: In my internship, I learned that you have to manage your time wisely.
Correct: In my internship, I learned to manage my time wisely.
Incorrect: The sales team reached their goal. Correct: The sales team reached its goal.
U.S. usage treats company names and the words company and government as singular nouns. In Great Britain and those countries using the British System, these nouns are plural and require plural pronouns:
Correct (U.S.): Nationwide Insurance trains its agents well. Correct (U.K.): Lloyds of London train their agents well.
Exercises
Correct any noun–pronoun agreement errors, following U.S. style.
Note that some sentences do not contain errors.
1. My college lowered their parking sticker costs about $10 a year.
2. When Kelea and Shawn arrived together from Portland, she both
decided to walk rather than take a shuttle to the airport hotel.
3. You have to mind your Ps and Qs, I discovered, if you’re
going to get ahead in this world.
4. The Building and Zoning Department got their act together
and beat the Marketing Department in the final inning of the
company softball game.
5. Victor said her greatest achievement was being selected as
“Man of the Year” by the Rotary Club.
6. With few changes to their production model, Jacoby, Inc.,
expects to start manufacturing in a few weeks.
7. My mother told me that when she was a little girl, she learned
you can’t always believe what you hear.
8. Madison told me their purse got left in the restaurant—his
smartphone was inside of it.
9. At Singh and Associates, I told my parents, I learned you have
to do your best to get noticed.
10. The best things about Netflix is the way they make sure their
procedures are easy to follow.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 235loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 235 12/27/12 3:41 PM12/27/12 3:41 PM
Confirming pages
236 Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
Unit 3 Cases for Communicators The Real Price of a Cheap Flight
In July 2012, United Airlines began offering refunds to passengers
who had taken advantage of a computer glitch to book flights to
Hong Kong or other destinations in Asia that connected to the city
in exchange for four frequent flier miles, plus government taxes. A
business class seat on United to Hong Kong typically costs about
$8,500, or 120,000 frequent flier miles. First class is about $2,000
more, or 20,000 miles.
Before United officials realized the error, people shared news of
it on sites throughout the web, and though United won’t confirm
the final numbers, hundreds, if not thousands, of people bought
tickets. However, United eventually stopped selling tickets and
announced it wasn’t honoring the tickets already sold. Refunds
would instead be offered, though people who had already started
their trip would be able to finish it.
Complicating the problem, the U.S. Department of Transporta-
tion (DOT) had recently enacted rules that prohibit airlines from
increasing prices after consumers make their purchase, so some
consumers complained that United was violating that rule. At heart
is at what point the glitch appeared. Initially, purchasers were given
the correct price. It was only after they actually went to the screen
to book the fare that the error appeared.
Individual Activity
As the customer service director at United, you have received hun-
dreds of e-mail messages from angry customers who thought they
were booking the cheap flights to Hong Kong. In particular, many
of them feel that United is ducking responsibility for the error and
breaking the law by ignoring the DOT regulations. Write an e-mail
message explaining to them that the initial screen at the point of pur-
chase explained the correct amount customers would be charged and
that by pressing “Book Flight Now” there, they were acknowledg-
ing the correct price, regardless of what showed up on the following
screen. United regrets the error but sees it as an honest technical mis-
take rather than an attempt to avoid honoring a claim.
As you plan your correspondence, consider the following:
• What should my subject line convey?
• How can I organize the message in a positive, problem-solving way?
• Will I include reader benefits in the message?
As you evaluate your draft, consider these questions:
• Is my subject line specific, concise, and clear?
• Did I organize this message using the following pattern for pos-
itive messages?
Main Point
Details
Negatives
Reader Benefits
Goodwill Ending
• Did I use PAIBOC (Purpose, Audience, Information, Benefits,
Objections, Context) to help me write a positive message?
• Did I successfully create you-attitude in this message?
Be sure to check your grammar and proofread the message by
eye as well as by spell-check!
Group Activity
You want the Department of Transportation to understand that United
operated in good faith when the computer glitch occurred, and you
want to allay any concerns that similar problems will happen in the
future. In particular, you want the DOT to know that once the company
was aware of the error, the site was shut down and refunds were imme-
diately processed. However, you have heard that some irate customers
are lobbying the agency to consider legal action against United.
Your IT Department has provided a report on what went wrong.
Maintenance on the web page was actually done by a third party,
subcontracted through the department. Responsibility for making
sure information on the site was current and correct was that com-
pany’s, and there is an indemnity clause in the contract stating that
United will not be held liable for any mistakes made by the third
party. Regardless, however, of who ultimately is held fiducially
responsible, the damage to United’s reputation from a DOT inves-
tigation could be great and affect future sales.
Write a letter to DOT officials explaining the results of United’s
internal investigation and requesting that no further action be taken
regarding whether United violated DOT regulations. Before you
write the letter, discuss the following issues with your colleagues:
• What should the subject line convey, if anything?
• Which persuasive strategy—direct request or problem
solving—is appropriate in this situation?
• Which of the following patterns is better?
Shared Problem
Details
Solution
Negatives
Reader Benefits
Request for Action
Or
Request of Action
Details
Request for Action
• What types of possible objections or responses are expected?
• What benefits, if any, could be highlighted?
Use your answers to these questions to draft the letter. Then work
together with your group to craft the final language for this message.
As you write, ask these questions:
1. Did we include information to negate possible objections or
responses to the message?
2. Did we follow the correct organization for the persuasive strat-
egy we are using?
3. Did we use PAIBOC (Purpose, Audience, Information, Bene-
fits, Objections, Context) to help us write a persuasive message?
4. Did we successfully create you-attitude in this letter?
Watchdog audiences like the DOT are key to the success of
United, so be sure to think carefully about the tone of the letter.
Remember, these folks have a stake in United’s future, too!
Source: Scott Mayerowitz, “The Battle Over $33 Flights to Hong Kong,” July 19, 2012, http://news.yahoo.com/battle-over-33-flights-hong-kong-
200052930-finance.html .
loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 236loc03261_ch13_217-236.indd 236 12/27/12 3:41 PM12/27/12 3:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation
Polishing Your Writing 4
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 237loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 237 12/28/12 4:40 PM12/28/12 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
238
14
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Editing for Grammar and Punctuation
W ith the possible exception of spelling, grammar is the aspect of writing that writers seem to find
most troublesome. Faulty grammar is often what executives are objecting to when they com-
plain that college graduates or MBAs “can’t write.”
The modules in this unit gather advice about grammar, punctuation, words, and sentence and para-
graph revision. Many of these topics are also treated in the Polishing Your Prose sections at the end of
each module. For a list, see the inside front cover.
LO 14-1 Apply strategies for professional image creation with grammar and
mechanics.
LO 14-2 Apply principles for common grammatical error correction.
LO 14-3 Apply principles for sentence error correction.
LO 14-4 Evaluate situations for comma use.
LO 14-5 Apply principles for punctuation use inside sentences.
LO 14-6 Apply principles for source quotation.
LO 14-7 Apply principles for number and date use.
LO 14-8 Apply standard proofreading marks throughout the writing process.
Module 14 focuses on solutions to common errors with grammar and punctuation. After completing
the module, you should be able to
Module
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 238loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 238 12/28/12 4:40 PM12/28/12 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
239
Grammar and mechanics present a paradox. On the one hand,
grammar and punctuation are the least important part of any
message: The ideas and their arrangement matter far more.
On the other hand, many business leaders see good grammar
and mechanics as essential to creating effective messages—
and to demonstrating quality. The College Board’s National
Commission on Writing found 95.2% of survey respondents
said spelling, punctuation, and grammar were “important” or
“extremely important.” Companies surveyed included Ameri-
can Express, Boeing, Ford Motor Company, IBM, J. P. Morgan
Chase, MetLife, Pfizer, Sears, and Verizon Communications.
“In most cases, writing ability could be your ticket in . . . or
it could be a ticket out,” noted one participant, while another
said of promotion, “You can’t move up without writing skills.”
Errors also create a negative image of the writer. Professor
Larry Beason found that businesspeople judged the authors of
errors to be not only poor writers but also poor businesspeople.
Negative judgments included the following:
• Careless and hasty
• Uncaring (about reader or message)
• Problems with thinking and logic
• Not a detail person—what will you do with numbers?
• Poor oral communicator
• Uneducated
So grammar and punctuation can be the most important part of
your message.
Occasionally, errors in grammar and punctuation hide the
writer’s meaning. More often, it’s possible to figure out what
the writer probably meant, but the mistake still sends the wrong
message (and can be an excuse for a hostile reader or an oppos-
ing attorney).
Don’t try to fix errors in your first and second drafts. The brain
can’t attend both to big ideas and to sentence-level concerns at the
same time. But do save time to check your almost-final draft to
eliminate any errors in grammar, punctuation, and word choice.
Most writers make a small number of grammatical errors
repeatedly. Most readers care deeply about only a few gram-
matical points. Keep track of the feedback you get (from your
instructors now, from your supervisors later) and put your
energy into correcting the errors that bother the people who
read what you write. A command of standard grammar will
help you build the credible, professional image you want to
create with everything you write.
Sources: Writing: A Ticket to Work . . . Or a Ticket Out: A Survey of Business Leaders, Report of The National Commission on Writing for America’s Families, Schools, and Colleges, College Entrance Examination
Board, September 2004; and Larry Beason, “Ethos and Error: How
Business People React to Errors,” CCC 53:1, September 2001.
Building a Critical Skill
Creating a Professional Image, 2 LO 14-1
What grammatical errors do I need to be able to fix? LO 14-2
▶ Learn how to fix these six errors.
Good writers can edit to achieve subject–verb and noun–pronoun agreement, to use the
right case for pronouns, to avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers, and to correct parallel
structure and predication errors.
Agreement
Subjects and verbs agree when they are both singular or both plural.
Incorrect: The accountants who conducted the audit was recommended highly. Correct: The accountants who conducted the audit were recommended highly.
Subject–verb agreement errors often occur when other words come between the subject
and the verb. Edit your draft by finding the subject and the verb of each sentence.
U.S. usage treats company names and the words company and government as singular nouns. British usage treats them as plural:
Correct (U.S.): State Farm Insurance trains its agents well. Correct (Great Lloyds of London train their agents well. Britain):
Rutgers University Professor
Jack Lynch sees attention to
grammar as at least as much
an issue of class warfare as it
is of making communication
understandable. Correcting a
split infinitive—such as Star
Trek ’s “to boldly go”—gives
people “access to power,” not
because all grammarians agree
that splitting an infinitive in
English is wrong but because
people in power may think it is.
Source: Laura Miller, “Memo to Grammar Cops: Back Off!” Salon,
April 18, 2010, http://www.salon
.com/books/laura_miller/index.html .
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 239loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 239 12/28/12 4:40 PM12/28/12 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
240 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Use a plural verb when two or more singular subjects are joined by and.
Correct: Larry McGreevy and I are planning to visit the client.
Use a singular verb when two or more singular subjects are joined by or, nor, or but.
Correct: Either the shipping clerk or the superintendent has to sign the order.
When the sentence begins with Here or There, make the verb agree with the subject that follows the verb.
Correct: Here is the booklet you asked for. Correct: There are the blueprints I wanted.
Note that some words that end in s are considered to be singular and require singular verbs.
Correct: A series of meetings is planned.
When a situation doesn’t seem to fit the rules, or when following a rule produces an
awkward sentence, revise the sentence to avoid the problem.
Problematic: The Plant Manager in addition to the sales representative (was, were?) pleased with the new system.
Better: The Plant Manager and the sales representative were pleased with the new system. Problematic: None of us (is, are?) perfect. Better: All of us have faults.
Errors in noun–pronoun agreement occur if a pronoun is of a different number or person than the word it refers to.
Incorrect: All drivers of leased automobiles are billed $100 if damages to his automobile are caused by a collision.
Correct: All drivers of leased automobiles are billed $100 if damages to their automobiles are caused by collisions.
Incorrect: A manager has only yourself to blame if things go wrong. Correct: As a manager, you have only yourself to blame if things go wrong.
The following words require a singular pronoun:
everybody everyone nobody
each neither a person
either
Correct: Everyone should bring his or her copy of the manual to the next session on changes in the law.
If the pronoun pairs necessary to avoid sexism seem cumbersome, avoid the terms in
this list. Instead, use words that take plural pronouns or use second-person you. Each pronoun must refer to a specific word. If a pronoun does not refer to a specific
term, add a word to correct the error.
Incorrect: We will open three new stores in the suburbs. This will bring us closer to our customers.
Correct: We will open three new stores in the suburbs. This strategy will bring us closer to our customers.
Hint: Make sure this and it refer to a specific noun in the previous sentence. If either refers to an idea, add a noun (“this strategy”) to make the sentence grammatically correct.
Use who and whom to refer to people and which to refer to objects. That can refer to anything: people, animals, organizations, and objects.
Correct: The new Executive Director, who moved here from Boston, is already making friends.
Correct: The audit, which we completed yesterday, shows that the original numbers are incorrect.
Correct: This confirms the price that I quoted you this morning.
Site to See
Go to
http://grammar. quickanddirtytips.com/
for Grammar Girl’s tutorials on
fixing common errors.
There’s only one English today,
right? Not if you ask officials
at the Voice of America, who
have reduced conversational
English to only 1,500 words,
called “specialized English.”
Aerospace and Defense Sim-
plified Technical English is used
by the European aerospace
industry to streamline commu-
nications, and some Christian
missionaries practice Easy-
English when abroad. These
forms of “simple English” are
designed to reduce problems
with bad grammar and to make
it easier to communicate with
non-native speakers of English.
Source: J. David Goodman, “List of ‘Special English’ Words Increases,”
The Columbus Dispatch, January
2, 2008, downloaded at www.
dispatch.com/live/content/life/
stories/2008/01/02/1A_SIMPLE_
ENGLISH.ART_ART_01-02-08_D1_
CD8T4TT.html?sid=101 .
Go to
Site to See
Go to
www.iei.illinois. edu/grammarsafari/ grammarsafari.html
Especially for ESL students,
Grammar Safari helps you hunt
grammar in real language.
Go to
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 240loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 240 12/28/12 4:40 PM12/28/12 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 241
Case Case refers to the grammatical role a noun or pronoun plays in a sentence. Figure 14.1 identifies the case of each personal pronoun.
Use nominative pronouns for the subject of a clause.
Correct: Shannon Weaver and I talked to the customer, who was interested in learning more about integrated software.
Use possessive pronouns to show who or what something belongs to.
Correct: Microsoft Office will exactly meet her needs.
Use objective pronouns as objects of verbs or prepositions.
Correct: When you send in the quote, thank her for the courtesy she showed Shannon and me.
Hint: Use whom when him would fit grammatically in the same place in your sentence.
I am writing this letter to (who/whom?) it may concern.
I am writing this letter to him.
Whom is correct.
Have we decided (who, whom?) will take notes?
Have we decided he will take notes?
Who is correct.
Use reflexive and intensive pronouns (the form with self or selves ) to refer to or empha- size a noun or pronoun that has already appeared in the sentence.
Correct: I nominated myself.
Do not use reflexive pronouns as subjects of clauses or as objects of verbs or prepositions.
Incorrect: Elaine and myself will follow up on this order. Correct: Elaine and I will follow up on this order. Incorrect: He gave the order to Dan and myself. Correct: He gave the order to Dan and me.
Note that the first-person pronoun comes after names or pronouns that refer to other
people.
Forty-five percent of employers
surveyed recently said they were
increasing training to improve
grammar and other skills in their
employees. Confusion over
rules, the informality of social
networking, and valuing speed
over accuracy may be culprits in
why grammar skills suffer in the
workplace.
Source: Sue Shellenbarger, “This Embarrasses You and I: Grammar
Gaffes Invade the Office in an Age
of Informal E-mail, Texting, and
Twitter,” The Wall Street Journal,
June 19, 2012, http://online.wsj.
com/article/SB100014240527023
03410404577466662919275448.
html?KEYWORDS=grammar .
Figure 14.1 The Case of the Personal Pronoun
Nominative
(subject of
clause) Possessive Objective
Reflexive/
Intensive
Singular
1st person I my, mine me myself
2nd person you your, yours you yourself
3rd person he/she/it his/her(s)/its him/her/it himself/herself/itself
one/who one’s/whose one/whom oneself/(no form)
Plural
1st person we our, ours us ourselves
2nd person you your, yours you yourselves
3rd person they their, theirs them themselves
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 241loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 241 12/28/12 4:40 PM12/28/12 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
242 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Dangling Modifier
Modifiers are words or phrases that give more information about the subject, verb, or object in a clause. A modifier dangles when the word it modifies is not actually in the sentence. The solution is to reword the modifier so that it is grammatically
correct.
Incorrect: Confirming our conversation, the truck will leave Monday. [The speaker is doing the confirming. But the speaker isn’t in the sentence.]
Incorrect: At the age of eight, I began teaching my children about American business. [This sentence says that the author was eight when he or she had children who could
understand business.]
Correct a dangling modifier in one of these ways:
• Recast the modifier as a subordinate clause.
Correct: As I told you, the truck will leave Monday. Correct: When they were eight, I began teaching my children about American business.
• Revise the main clause so its subject or object can be modified by the now-dangling
phrase.
Correct: Confirming our conversation, I have scheduled the truck to leave Monday. Correct: At the age of eight, my children began learning about American business.
Hint: Whenever you use a verb or adjective that ends in - ing, make sure it modifies the grammatical subject of your sentence. If it doesn’t, reword the sentence.
Misplaced Modifier
A misplaced modifier appears to modify another element of the sentence than the writer intended.
Incorrect: Customers who complain often alert us to changes we need to make. [Does the sentence mean that customers must complain frequently to teach us some-
thing? Or is the meaning that frequently we learn from complaints?]
Correct a misplaced modifier by moving it closer to the word it modifies or by adding
punctuation to clarify your meaning. If a modifier modifies the whole sentence, use it as an
introductory phrase or clause; follow it with a comma.
Correct: Often, customers who complain alert us to changes we need to make.
Parallel Structure
Items in a series or list must have the same grammatical structure.
Not parallel: In the second month of your internship, you will 1. Learn how to resolve customers’ complaints.
2. Supervision of desk staff.
3. Interns will help plan store displays.
Parallel: In the second month of your internship, you will 1. Learn how to resolve customers’ complaints.
2. Supervise desk staff.
3. Plan store displays.
Also parallel: Duties in the second month of your internship include resolving customers’ complaints, supervising desk staff, and planning store displays.
Hint: When you have two or three items in a list (whether the list is horizontal or verti- cal), make sure the items are in the same grammatical form. Put lists vertically to make
them easier to see.
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 242loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 242 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 243
Predication Errors
The predicate of a sentence must fit grammatically and logically with the subject.
In sentences using is and other linking verbs, the complement must be a noun, an adjective, or a noun clause.
Incorrect: The reason for this change is because the SEC now requires fuller disclosure. Correct: The reason for this change is that the SEC now requires fuller disclosure.
Make sure that the verb describes the action done by or done to the subject.
Incorrect: Our goals should begin immediately. Correct: Implementing our goals should begin immediately.
How can I fix sentence errors? LO 14-3
▶ Learn to recognize main clauses.
A sentence contains at least one main clause. A main clause is a complete statement. A subordinate or dependent clause contains both a subject and verb but is not a complete statement and cannot stand by itself. A phrase is a group of words that does not contain
both a subject and a verb.
Main Clauses
Your order will arrive Thursday.
He dreaded talking to his supplier.
I plan to enroll for summer school classes.
Subordinate Clauses
if you place your order by Monday
because he was afraid the product would be out of stock
although I need to have a job
Phrases
With our current schedule
As a result
After talking to my adviser
A clause with one of the following words will be subordinate:
after if
although, though when, whenever
because, since while, as
before, until
Using the correct punctuation will enable you to avoid four major sentence errors:
comma splices, run-on sentences, fused sentences, and sentence fragments.
Comma Splices
A comma splice or comma fault occurs when two main clauses are joined only by a comma (instead of by a comma and a coordinating conjunction).
Incorrect: The contest will start in June, the date has not been set.
Correct a comma splice in one of the following ways:
• If the ideas are closely related, use a semicolon rather than a comma. If they aren’t
closely related, start a new sentence.
Instant Replay
Dangling Modifiers
A modifier dangles when the
word it modifies is not actually
in the sentence.
I R
Dangling Mo
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 243loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 243 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
244 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Correct: The contest will start in June; the exact date has not been set.
• Add a coordinating conjunction.
Correct: The contest will start in June, but the exact date has not been set.
• Subordinate one of the clauses.
Correct: Although the contest will start in June, the date has not been set.
Remember that you cannot use just a comma with the following transitions.
however nevertheless
therefore moreover
Instead, use a semicolon to separate the clauses or start a new sentence.
Incorrect: Computerized grammar checkers do not catch every error, however, they may be useful as a first check before an editor reads the material.
Correct: Computerized grammar checkers do not catch every error; however, they may be useful as a first check before an editor reads the material.
Run-On Sentences
A run-on sentence strings together several main clauses using and, but, or, so, and for. Run- on sentences and comma splices are “mirror faults.” A comma splice uses only the comma and omits the coordinating conjunction, while a run-on sentence uses only the conjunction and omits the comma. Correct a short run-on sentence by adding a comma. Separate a long run-
on sentence into two or more sentences. Consider subordinating one or more of the clauses.
Incorrect: We will end up with a much smaller markup but they use a lot of this material so the volume would be high so try to sell them on fast delivery and tell them our quality is
very high.
Correct: Although we will end up with a much smaller markup, volume would be high since they use a lot of this material. Try to sell them on fast delivery and high quality.
Fused Sentences
A fused sentence results when two or more sentences are fused or joined with neither punctuation nor conjunctions. To fix the error, add either punctuation or a conjunction.
Incorrect: The advantages of intranets are clear the challenge is persuading employees to share information.
Correct: The advantages of intranets are clear; the challenge is persuading employees to share information.
Also correct: Although the advantages of intranets are clear, the challenge is persuading employees to share information.
Sentence Fragments
In a sentence fragment, a group of words that is not a complete sentence is punctuated as if it were a complete sentence. Sentence fragments often occur when a writer thinks of
additional detail that the reader needs. Fragments are acceptable in résumés and sales let-
ters, but they’re rarely acceptable in other business documents.
Incorrect: Observing these people, I have learned two things about the program. The time it takes. The rewards it brings.
To fix a sentence fragment, either add whatever parts of the sentence are missing or
incorporate the fragment into the sentence before it or after it.
Correct: Observing these people, I have learned that the program is time-consuming but rewarding.
Kyle Wiens, CEO of iFixIt and
founder of Dozuki, requires
all job applicants to take a
grammar test. With a self-
described “zero tolerance” for
grammar errors, he notes that
in his experience, sloppiness
with writing corresponds to
sloppiness in other job duties.
How strict are his standards?
“If you think a semicolon is a
regular colon with an identity
crisis, I will not hire you. If you
scatter commas into a sentence
with all the discrimination of
a shotgun, you might make it
to the foyer before we politely
escort you from the building.”
Source: Kyle Wiens, “I Won’t Hire People Who Use Poor Grammar.
Here’s Why,” Harvard Business
Review, July 20, 2012, http://blogs.
hbr.org/cs/2012/07/i_wont_hire_
people_who_use_poo.html .
Many business professionals
bemoan the errors they see
as the result of the speed
and informality of electronic
communication for some
people, whether they’re typos
or grammatical issues like
run-on sentences and sentence
fragments. Yet, there may be
trade-offs. A study of Twitter
users showed that while they had
20% more grammatical errors
than non-tweeting counterparts,
they were only about half as likely
to have spelling errors.
Source: Andy Jordan, “RT@gooseGrade: Twitters
Good at Spelling, Bad at
Grammar. #whatwouldmomsay ?”
The Wall Street Journal,
July 6, 2009, http://blogs.wsj
.com/digits/2009/07/06/
rtgoosegrade-twitterers-good-
at-spelling-bad-at-grammar-
whatwouldmomsay/tab/
article/ .
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 244loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 244 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 245
Remember that clauses with the following words are not complete sentences. Join them
to a main clause.
after if
although, though when, whenever
because, since while, as
before, until
Incorrect: We need to buy a new computer system. Because our current system is obsolete. Correct: We need to buy a new computer system because our current system is obsolete.
Should I put a comma every place I’d take a breath? LO 14-4
▶ No! Commas are not breaths.
Some people have been told to put commas where they’d take breaths. That’s bad advice.
How often you’d take a breath depends on how big your lung capacity is, how fast and how
loud you’re speaking, and the emphasis you want. Commas aren’t breaths. Instead, like
other punctuation, they’re road signs.
Punctuation marks are road signs to help readers predict what comes next (see
Figure 14.2 ).
When you move from the subject to the verb, you’re going in a straight line; no comma
is needed. When you end an introductory phrase or clause, the comma tells readers the
introduction is over and you’re turning to the main clause. When words interrupt the main
clause, like this, commas tell the reader when to turn off the main clause for a short side
route and when to return.
What punctuation should I use inside sentences? LO 14-5
▶ Use punctuation to make your meaning clear to your reader.
The good business and administrative writer knows how to use the following punctuation
marks: apostrophes, colons, commas, dashes, hyphens, parentheses, periods, and semicolons.
Apostrophe
1. Use an apostrophe in a contraction to indicate that a letter has been omitted.
We’re trying to renegotiate the contract.
The 1990s were years of restructuring for our company.
Instant Replay
Comma Splices
A comma splice or comma fault occurs when two main clauses are joined only by
a comma (instead of by a
comma and a coordinating
conjunction).
I R
Comma Spli
The late, great television
commentator Andy Rooney
stopped using apostrophes,
even in his books. According to
Bob McTeer, Rooney said that
since he wrote things to read
on TV, he didn’t see the need
for most apostrophes.
Source: Bob McTeer, “Have You Ever Wondered?” Forbes,
November 8, 2011, http://
www.forbes.com/sites/
bobmcteer/2011/11/08/
have-you-ever-wondered/ .
Figure 14.2 What Punctuation Tells the Reader
Mark Tells the Reader
Period We’re stopping.
Semicolon What comes next is closely related to what I just said.
Colon What comes next is an example of what I just said.
Dash What comes next is a dramatic example of or a shift from what I just said.
Comma What comes next is a slight turn, but we’re going in the same basic direction.
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 245loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 245 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
246 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
2. To indicate possession, add an apostrophe and an s to the word.
The corporation’s home office is in Houston, Texas.
Apostrophes to indicate possession are especially essential when one noun in a
comparison is omitted.
This year’s sales will be higher than last year’s.
When a word already ends in an s, add only an apostrophe to make it possessive.
The meeting will be held at New Orleans’ convention center.
With many terms, the placement of the apostrophe indicates whether the noun is
singular or plural.
Incorrect: The program should increase the participant’s knowledge. [Implies that only one participant is in the program.]
Correct: The program should increase the participants’ knowledge. [Many participants are in the program.]
Hint: Use of in the sentence to see where the apostrophe goes.
The figures of last year 5 last year’s figures
The needs of our customers 5 our customers’ needs
Possessive pronouns (e.g., his, ours ) usually do not have apostrophes. The only exception is one’s.
The company needs the goodwill of its stockholders.
His promotion was announced yesterday.
One’s greatest asset is the willingness to work hard.
Using poor grammar is a crime to many readers.
Copyright © Michael Maslin/The New Yorker Collection, www.cartoonbank.com .
Instant Replay
Sentence Fragments
In a sentence fragment, a group of words that is
not a complete sentence is
punctuated as if it were a
complete sentence.
I R
Sentence Fr
Site to See
Go to
www.illiteratebusinesses. ca/
for examples of typos in
business messages.
Go to
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 246loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 246 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 247
3. Use an apostrophe to make plurals that could be confused for other words.
I earned A’s in all my business courses.
However, other plurals do not use apostrophes.
Colon
1. Use a colon to separate a main clause and a list that explains the last element in the
clause. The items in the list are specific examples of the word that appears immediately
before the colon.
Please order the following supplies:
Printer cartridges
Computer paper (20-lb. white bond)
Bond paper (25-lb., white, 25% cotton)
Company letterhead
Company envelopes.
When the list is presented vertically, capitalize the first letter of each item in the list.
When the list is run in with the sentence, you don’t need to capitalize the first letter after
the colon.
Please order the following supplies: printer cartridges, computer paper (20-lb. white
bond), bond paper (25-lb., white, 25% cotton), company letterhead, and company
envelopes.
Do not use a colon when the list is grammatically part of the main clause.
Incorrect: The rooms will have coordinated decors in natural colors such as: eggplant, moss, and mushroom.
Correct: The rooms will have coordinated decors in natural colors such as eggplant, moss, and mushroom.
Correct: The rooms will have coordinated decors in a variety of natural colors: eggplant, moss, and mushroom.
If the list is presented vertically, some authorities suggest introducing the list with a
colon even though the words preceding the colon are not a complete sentence.
2. Use a colon to join two independent clauses when the second clause explains or restates
the first clause.
Selling is simple: Give people the service they need, and they’ll come back with more
orders.
Comma
1. Use commas to separate the main clause from an introductory clause, the reader’s name,
or words that interrupt the main clause. Note that commas both precede and follow the
interrupting information.
R. J. Garcia, the new sales manager, comes to us from the Des Moines office.
While poor spelling and
grammar may impede success,
even great leaders have been
known to exhibit lapses. A
handwritten letter by President
Abraham Lincoln recently drew
scrutiny from modern readers,
who noted such errors as an
apostrophe inserted into the
possessive pronoun “its” and an
apostrophe missing in “nations”
when meant possessively. Said
Harold Holzer, an expert on the
16th U.S. President: “Lincoln
was not the best speller in the
world.”
Source: “Lincoln Letter Shows Grammatical Errors,” The Times
of India, March 19, 2010, http://
timesofindia.indiatimes.com/
world/us/Lincoln-letter-shows-
grammatical-errors/articleshow/
5699886.cms .
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 247loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 247 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
248 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
A nonessential clause gives extra information that is not needed to identify the noun it modifies. Because nonessential clauses give extra information, they need extra commas.
Sue Decker, who wants to advance in the organization, has signed up for the company
training program in sales techniques.
Do not use commas to set off information that restricts the meaning of a noun or
pronoun. Essential clauses give essential, not extra, information.
Anyone □ who wants to advance in the organization □ should take advantage of on-the-job training.
Do not use commas to separate the subject from the verb, even if you would take a
breath after a long subject.
Incorrect: Laws requiring anyone collecting $5,000 or more on behalf of another person to be bonded, apply to schools and private individuals as well to charitable groups and profes-
sional fund-raisers.
Correct: Laws requiring anyone collecting $5,000 or more on behalf of another person to be bonded □ apply to schools and private individuals as well to charitable groups and professional fund-raisers.
2. Use a comma after the first clause in a compound sentence if the clauses are long or if
they have different subjects.
This policy eliminates all sick leave credit of the employee at the time of retirement,
and payment will be made only once to any individual.
Do not use commas to join independent clauses without a conjunction. Doing so
produces comma splices.
3. Use commas to separate items in a series. Using a comma before the and or or is not required by some authorities, but using a comma always adds clarity. The comma is
essential if any of the items in the series themselves contain the word and.
The company pays the full cost of hospitalization insurance for eligible employees,
spouses, and unmarried dependent children under age 23.
Dash
Use emdashes to emphasize a break in thought.
Ryertex comes in 30 grades—each with a special use.
To create a dash in Microsoft Word, type in a word, followed immediately by two hyphens
and then a second word, with no space between the hyphens and the two words. Add a
space after the second word and the hyphens instantly change to a dash.
Hyphen
1. Use a hyphen to indicate that a word has been divided between two lines.
For reimbursement, attach the original receipts for lodging, transportation, and registra-
tion fees.
Divide words at syllable breaks. If you aren’t sure where the syllables divide, look up
the word in a dictionary. When a word has several syllables, divide it after a vowel or
between two consonants. Don’t divide words of one syllable (e.g., used ); don’t divide a two-syllable word if one of the syllables is only one letter long (e.g., acre ).
2. Use hyphens to join two or more words used as a single adjective.
Order five 10- or 12- foot lengths.
The computer-prepared Income and Expense statements will be ready next Friday.
The hyphen prevents misreading. In the first example, five lengths are needed, not
lengths of 5, 10, or 12 feet. In the second example, without the hyphen, the reader might
think that computer was the subject and prepared was the verb.
Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The
Zero Tolerance Approach to
Punctuation by Lynne Truss
explores with humor how
improper punctuation mangles
sentence meaning. The title
came from a description of
panda eating habits, but the
misplaced comma suggests a
more destructive event!
A misplaced comma cost
cable television giant Rogers
Communications more than $2
million. The company thought
it had an ironclad agreement
with Aliant Telecom to use
telecommunication poles for
five years, but Aliant terminated
the contract after only one
year. A court upheld the move
after ruling the errant comma
changed the meaning of a
contract clause, supporting
Aliant’s decision.
Source: William Loeffler, “Punctuation Errors Can Cost Jobs,
Money, Esteem,” The Pittsburgh
Tribune-Review, September 20,
2009, http://www.pittsburghlive.
com/x/pittsburghtrib/ae/
more/s_643648.html .
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 248loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 248 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 249
Parentheses
1. Use parentheses to set off words, phrases, or sentences used to explain or comment on
the main idea.
For the thinnest Ryertex (.0150) only a single layer of the base material may be used,
while the thickest (100) may contain over 600 greatly compressed layers of fabric
or paper. By varying the fabric used (cotton, asbestos, glass, or nylon) or the type of
paper, and by changing the kind of resin (phenolic, melamine, silicone, or epoxy), we
can produce 30 different grades.
Any additional punctuation goes outside the second parenthesis when the punctuation applies
to the whole sentence. It goes inside when it applies only to the words in the parentheses.
Please check the invoice to see if credit should be issued. (A copy of the invoice is
attached.)
2. Use parentheses for the second of two numbers presented both in words and in figures.
Construction must be completed within two (2) years of the date of the contract.
Period
1. Use a period at the end of a sentence.
2. Use a period after some abbreviations. When a period replaces a person’s name, leave one
space after the period before the next word. In other abbreviations, no space is necessary.
R. J. Tebeaux has been named Vice President for Marketing.
The U.S. division plans to hire 300 new M.B.A.s in the next year.
The tendency is to reduce the use of punctuation. It would also be correct to write
The US division plans to hire 300 new MBAs in the next year.
Use the pattern your organization prefers.
Semicolon
1. Use semicolons to join two independent clauses when they are closely related.
We’ll do our best to fill your order promptly; however, we cannot guarantee a delivery date.
Using a semicolon suggests that the two ideas are very closely connected. Using a
period and a new sentence is also correct but implies nothing about how closely related
the two sentences are.
2. Use semicolons to separate items in a series when the items themselves contain commas.
The final choices for the new plant are El Paso, Texas; Albuquerque, New Mexico;
Salt Lake City, Utah; Eureka, California; and Eugene, Oregon.
Hospital benefits are also provided for certain services such as diagnostic admissions
directed toward a definite disease or injury; normal maternity delivery, Caesarean-
section delivery, or complications of pregnancy; and in-patient admissions for dental
procedures necessary to safeguard the patient’s life or health.
Hint: A semicolon could be replaced by a period and a capital letter. It has a sentence on both sides.
What do I use when I quote sources? LO 14-6
▶ Quotation marks, square brackets, ellipses, and underlining or italics.
Quotation marks, square brackets, ellipses, and either underlining or italics are necessary
when you use quoted material.
Site to See
Go to
www.grammarbook.com
The Blue Book of Grammar
and Punctuation is online.
Go to
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 249loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 249 12/28/12 4:41 PM12/28/12 4:41 PM
Confirming pages
250 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Quotation Marks
1. Use quotation marks around the names of brochures, pamphlets, and magazine articles.
Enclosed are 30 copies of our pamphlet “Saving Energy.”
You’ll find articles like “How to Improve Your Golf Game” and “Can You Keep Your
Eye on the Ball?” in every issue.
In U.S. punctuation, periods and commas go inside quotation marks. Colons and semicolons
go outside. Question marks go inside if they are part of the material being quoted.
2. Use quotation marks around words to indicate that you think the term is misleading.
These “pro-business” policies actually increase corporate taxes.
3. Use quotation marks around words that you are discussing as words.
Forty percent of the respondents answered “yes” to the first question.
Use “Ms.” as a courtesy title for a woman unless you know she prefers another title.
It is also acceptable to underline or italicize words instead of using quotation marks.
Choose one method and use it consistently.
4. Use quotation marks around words or sentences that you quote from someone else.
“The Fog Index,” says its inventor, Robert Gunning, is “an effective warning system
against drifting into needless complexity.”
Square Brackets
Use square brackets to add your own additions to or changes in quoted material.
Senator Smith’s “These measures will increase the deficit.” statement: Your use of Smith’s According to Senator Smith, “These measures [in the new tax bill] statement: will increase the deficit.”
The square brackets show that Smith did not say these words; you add them to make the
quote make sense in your document.
Ellipses
Ellipses are spaced dots. In typing, use three spaced periods for an ellipsis. When an ellip- sis comes at the end of a sentence, use a dot immediately after the last letter of the sentence
for a period. Then add another three spaced dots.
1. Use ellipses to indicate that one or more words have been omitted in the middle of
quoted material. You do not need ellipses at the beginning or end of a quote.
The Wall Street Journal notes that Japanese magazines and newspapers include advertisements for a “$2.1 million home in New York’s posh Riverdale section . . .
185 acres of farmland [and] . . . luxury condos on Manhattan’s Upper East Side.”
2. In advertising and direct mail, use ellipses to imply the pace of spoken comments.
If you’ve ever wanted to live on a tropical island . . . cruise to the Bahamas . . . or live
in a castle in Spain . . .
. . . you can make your dreams come true with Vacations Extraordinaire.
Underlining and Italics
1. Underline or italicize the names of newspapers, magazines, and books.
The Wall Street Journal The Wall Street Journal
Fortune Fortune
The Wealth of Nations The Wealth of Nations
U.S. writers put periods
and commas inside closing
quotation marks; English
writers put them outside the
quotation marks. Spanish
writers also put sentence-
ending punctuation outside.
Source: Based on Complete Translation Services, “A
History of Punctuation,” www.
completetranslation.com ,
downloaded July 23, 2005.
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 250loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 250 12/28/12 4:42 PM12/28/12 4:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 251
Titles of brochures and pamphlets are put in quotation marks.
2. Underline or italicize words to emphasize them.
Here’s a bulletin that gives you, in handy chart form, workable data on over 50 different types of tubing and pipe.
You may also use boldface to emphasize words. Bolding is better than either underlining
or italics because it is easier to read.
How should I write numbers and dates? LO 14-7
▶ Usually, spell out numbers under 10 and at the beginning of sentences.
Spell out numbers from one to nine. Use figures for numbers 10 and over in most cases. Always use figures for amounts of money.
Spell out any number that appears at the beginning of a sentence. If spelling it out is
impractical, revise the sentence so it does not begin with a number.
Fifty students filled out the survey.
In 2002, euro notes and coins entered circulation.
When two numbers referring to different nouns follow each other, use words for the smaller
number and figures for the larger number.
In dates, use figures for the day and year. The month is normally spelled out. Be sure to spell out the month in international business communication. U.S. usage puts the month
first, so that 1/10/08 means January 10, 2008. European usage puts the day first, so that 1/10/08 means October 1, 2008. Modern punctuation uses a comma before the year only when you give both the month and the day of the month:
May 1, 2009
but
Summers 2004–07
August 2003
Fall 2006
No punctuation is needed in military or European usage, which puts the day of the month
first: 13 July 2005. Do not add a space before or after the slash used to separate parts of the
date: 10/03–5/07.
Use a dash to join inclusive dates.
March–August 2007 (or write out: March to August 2007)
05–08
1999–2009
Note that you do not need to repeat the century in the date that follows the dash: 2007–09.
But do give the century when it changes: 1999–2008.
How do I mark errors I find in proofreading? LO 8
▶ Use these standard proofreading symbols.
Use the proofreading symbols in Figure 14.3 to make corrections when you no longer
have access to a computer. Figure 14.4 shows how the symbols can be used to correct a
typed text.
Typos can have stunning
repercussions. In 2005, a
typing error caused Mizuho
Securities Co. to lose at least
27 billion yen, or $225 million.
The trader had meant to sell
1 share at 610,000 yen, or
$5,041, but inputted 610,000
shares at 1 yen, or less than a
penny. Even top news outlets
can slip. A CNN story on the
search for Osama Bin Laden
was mistakenly titled “Where’s
Obama?” resulting in multiple
apologies to Senator Barack
Obama, who later announced
his candidacy for U.S. president.
And while many people
complain about the high
cost of cable TV, few expect
to receive a bill like Daniel
DeVirgillo’s. “All I want to do is
watch March Madness,” the
Ohioan said. The problem was
Time Warner said he owed
$16.4 million in late charges.
Sources: “$225 Mil. Typo: Not 610,000 Shares, Just One
Please,” Chicago Sun-Times,
December 10, 2005, downloaded
at http://findarticles.com/p/
articles/mi_qn4155/is_20051210/
ai_n15921111 ; Jennifer Millman,
“Barack ‘Osama’? CNN Says
‘Sorry’ for Botched Broadcast,”
DiversityInc., January 3,
2007, downloaded at www.
diversityinc.com/public/1096.
cfm?sd=151; and Dave Larsen,
“Time Warner Charges Wright-
Patt Engineer $16.4 Million for
Cable,” Springfield News-Sun,
March 24, 2011, http://www.
springfieldnewssun.com/news/
business/time-warner-charges-
wright-patt-engineer-164-milli/
nMqHp/ .
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 251loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 251 12/28/12 4:42 PM12/28/12 4:42 PM
Confirming pages
252 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Figure 14.4 Marked Text
We could cut our travel bill by reimbursing employees only for the cost of a budget hotel or motel room.
A recent article from The Wall STreet Journal suggests that many low-cost hotles and motels are tring to appeal to business travelers. chains that are actively com- peting for the business market include Motel 6 Hampton Inns Fairfield Inns Econologde Super 8
Comfort Inn Travelodge
To attract business travelers, some budget chains now offer free local phone calls, free in-room movies, free continental breakfasts and free Computer hookups.
By staying in a budget hotel, the business travelers can save at least $10 to $20 a night-- often much more. For a company whose employees travel frequently, the savings can be considerable. Last year Megacorp reimbursed employees for a total of 4,392 nights in hotels. If each employee had stayed in a budget hotel, our expenses for travel would be $44,000 to $88,000 lower. Budget hotels would not be appropriate for sales meetings since they lack photocopying facilities or meeting rooms. However, we could and should use budget hotels and motels for ordinary on-the-road travel.
enhave
and and
have been
y
. . .
Assignments for Module 14
14.1 Why is it better to fix errors in grammar and punctuation only after you’ve revised for content, organization, and
style? (LO 14-1 to LO 14-7)
14.2 What words make clauses subordinate and thus require more than a comma to join clauses? (LO 14-2)
14.3 What is parallel structure? When should you use it? (LO 14-2)
14.4 What is a sentence fragment? How do you fix it? (LO 14-3)
Questions for Comprehension
delete
insert a letter
start a new paragraph here
stet (leave as it was before the marked change)
transpose (reverse)
lowercase (don’t capitalize)
capitalize
move to left
move to right
move up
move down
leave a space
close up
align vertically
Figure 14.3 Proofreading
Symbols
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 252loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 252 12/28/12 4:42 PM12/28/12 4:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 253
14.5 Consuela sees a lot of errors in the writing of managers at her workplace. If they don’t know or don’t care about cor-
rectness, why should she? (LO 14-1)
14.6 After surveying readers in her workplace (problem 14.15), Camilla finds that most of them are not bothered by errors
in grammar and punctuation. Does that mean that she
doesn’t need to fix surface errors? (LO 14-1)
14.7 Joe knows that his variety of English isn’t the privileged variety, but he is afraid that using standard edited English
will make him seem “uppity” to people in his home com-
munity. Should he try to use standard grammar and pronun-
ciation? Why or why not? (LO 14-1)
Questions for Critical Thinking
b. Access to the directory from any termi-
nal with a modem in the county.
c. Cost savings.
Y S N 14. By making an early reservation, it will give us more time to plan the session to
meet your needs.
Y S N 15. She don’t have no idea how to use the computer.
Y S N 16. The change will not effect our service to customers.
Y S N 17. Confirming our conversation, the truck will leave Monday.
Y S N 18. The sessions will begin January 4 we will pass around a sign-up sheet early in
December.
Y S N 19. I will be unable to attend the meeting, how- ever I will send someone else from my office.
Y S N 20. Its too soon to tell how many proposals we will receive.
Compare your responses with those of a small group of
students.
• Which errors were most annoying to the largest number
of readers?
• How much variation do you find in a single workplace?
In a single type of business?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Present your findings to the class in a short group
report.
b. Present your findings to the class in an oral presenta-
tion.
Most readers care passionately about only a few points of
grammar. Survey one or more readers (including your boss,
if you have a job) to find out which kinds of errors concern
them. Use a separate copy of this survey for each reader.
Directions: Each of the following sentences contains some error. Please circle Y if the error bothers you a good bit; S
if the error bothers you slightly; and N if you would not be
bothered by the error (or perhaps even notice it).
Y S N 1. She brung her secretary with her. Y S N 2. Him and Richard were the last ones hired. Y S N 3. Wanted to tell you that the meeting will be
November 10.
Y S N 4. Each representative should bring a list of their clients to the meeting.
Y S N 5. A team of people from CSEA, Human Services, and Animal Control are prepar-
ing the proposal.
Y S N 6. We cannot predict, how high the number of clients may rise.
Y S N 7. He treats his clients bad. Y S N 8. She asked Darlene and I to give a presen-
tation.
Y S N 9. Update the directory by reviewing each record in the database and note any dis-
crepancies.
Y S N 10. He has went to a lot of trouble to meet our needs.
Y S N 11. She gave the report to Dan and myself. Y S N 12. I was unable to complete the report. Because
I had a very busy week.
Y S N 13. The benefits of an online directory are a. We will be able to keep records up-to-
date;
Exercises and Problems
14.8 Identifying Audience Concerns about Grammar (LO 14-1 to LO 14-7)
Identify and correct the errors in the following sentences.
1. Corinne are going to tour the Hokaido facility in December.
2. We is planning to take the GMAT at the same time to
simplify things.
3. While Lani Esposito were our first choice, she declined
the job offer.
4. Tyler and Jorge is taking one of the pool cars to the
regional meeting.
5. Ephraim reminded us that the first and third Wednesdays
of the month are when timecards are due.
14.9 Making Subjects and Verbs Agree (LO 14-2)
14.10 Using the Right Pronoun (LO 14-2)
Identify and correct the errors in the following sentences.
1. Bryan e-mailed Todd Winthrop at our Southfield office
yesterday, but they didn’t receive the message till
Thursday.
2. I, Ramon, and Paulette reserved a company car for the
three-hour trip to Anaheim this afternoon.
3. We was wondering if anyone contacted the Finance
Department to ask them for copies of our annual report.
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 253loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 253 12/28/12 4:42 PM12/28/12 4:42 PM
Confirming pages
254 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Identify and correct the errors in the following sentences.
1. Eleanor reported there were two delayed flights at the
staff meeting.
2. At the age of 15, my mom let me drive the car around
the block for the first time.
3. Expressing herself with confidence, I was impressed
with Lee’s answers during the interview.
4. With a broad smile on his face, we watched Alistair
accept the Lifetime Achievement Award.
5. Thinking our plane would be delayed due to bad
weather, the meeting was rescheduled to 3 p.m.
14.11 Fixing Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers (LO 14-2)
Identify and correct the errors in the following sentences.
1. To narrow a web search,
• Put quotation marks around a phrase when you want
an exact term.
• Many search engines have wild cards (usually an
asterisk) to find plurals and other forms of a word.
• Reading the instructions on the search engine itself
can teach you advanced search techniques.
2. Men drink more alcoholic beverages than women.
3. Each issue of Hospice Care has articles from four dif- ferent perspectives: legislative, health care, hospice
administrators, and inspirational authors.
4. The university is one of the largest employers in the
community, brings in substantial business, and the cul-
tural impact is also big.
5. These three tools can help competitive people be better
negotiators.
• Think win–win.
• It’s important to ask enough questions to find out the
other person’s priorities, rather than jumping on the
first advantage you find.
• Protect the other person’s self-esteem.
These three questions can help cooperative people be
better at negotiations.
• Can you developing a specific alternative to use if
negotiation fails?
• Don’t focus on the “bottom line.” Spend time think-
ing about what you want and why you need it.
• Saying “You’ll have to do better than that because . . .” can
help you resist the temptation to say “yes” too quickly.
14.12 Creating Parallel Structure (LO 14-2)
Identify and correct the errors in the following sentences.
1. You can expect our fleet cars to be in pristine working
order you can also enjoy such amenities as cruise con-
trol, GPS tracking, and satellite radio.
2. Without filling out the appropriate requisition form, the
disciplinary action report indicated that Kelly purchased
two fax machines for the department.
3. Customers can order through the web page or they
can order through our 1-800 number or they can order
through traditional mail.
4. They spent the month visiting our satellite offices and
meeting their staff. In Fort Wayne. In Lawrence. In
Flint. And in Dayton.
5. Zane and me prepared the cover for the annual report
and then we gave it to Nardos for review so she will let
us know tomorrow if there are any revisions.
14.13 Correcting Sentence Errors (LO 14-3)
Provide the necessary punctuation in the following sen-
tences. Note that not every box requires punctuation.
1. Office workhh especially at your deskhh can create
backh shoulder hneckh or wrist strain.
2. I searched for hvacationh and hvacation planningh
on Google and Alta Vista.
3. I suggest putting a bulletin board in the rear hallwayh
and posting all the interviewerhsh photos on it.
4. Analyzing audiences is the same for marketing and
writingh you have to identify who the audiences areh
understand how to motivate themh and choose the best
channel to reach them.
5. The more you know about your audience hwho they
areh what they buyhwhere they shophhthe more rel-
evant and effective you can make your ad.
6. The city already has fiveh twohhundred hbed hospitals.
7. Students run the whole organizationh and are advised
by a Board of Directors from the community.
8. The company is working on three teamhrelated issuesh
interaction, leadership, and team size.
9. I would be interested in working on the committeeh
however I have decided to do less community work so
that I have more time to spend with my family.
10. hYou can create your own futurehh says Frank
Montañoh hYou have to think about ith crystal-
lize it in writingh and be willing to work at ith We
teach a lot of goalhsetting and planning in our training
sessionshh
14.14 Providing Punctuation within Sentences (LO 14-5)
4. If employees are in uniform, he should understand
that he is representing the company, whether on duty
or not.
5. Jeff Yee and me took a few moments to thank the mar-
keting team for their great work on the December sales
promotion.
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 254loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 254 12/28/12 4:42 PM12/28/12 4:42 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation 255
14.15 Fixing Errors in Grammar and Punctuation (LO 14-5)
Identify and correct the errors in the following passages.
a. Company’s are finding it to their advantage to cultivate
their suppliers. Partnerships between a company and
its suppliers can yield hefty payoffs for both company
and supplier. One example is Bailey Controls, an Ohio
headquartered company. Bailey make control systems
for big factories. They treat suppliers almost like depart-
ments of their own company. When a Bailey employee
passes a laser scanner over a bins bar code the supplier
is instantly alerted to send more parts.
b. Entrepreneur Trip Hawkins appears in Japanese ads for
the video game system his company designed. “It plugs
into the future! he says in one ad, in a cameo spliced
into shots of U.S kids playing the games. Hawkins is
one of several US celebrities and business people whom
plug products on Japanese TV.”
c. Mid size firms employing between 100 and 1,000 peo-
ple represent only 4% of companies in the U.S.; but cre-
ate 33% of all new jobs. One observer attributes their
success to their being small enough to take advantage
of economic opportunity’s agilely, but big enough to
have access to credit and to operate on a national or even
international scale. The biggest hiring area for midsize
company’s is wholesale and retail sales (38% of jobs),
construction (20% of jobs, manufacturing (19% of
jobs), and services (18% of jobs).
Any living language changes. New usages appear first in speaking.
Here are five issues on which experts currently disagree:
1. Plural pronouns to refer to everybody, everyone, and each. Standard grammar says these words require singular pro-
nouns: his or her rather than their. 2. Split infinitives. An infinitive is the form of a verb that con-
tains to: to understand. An infinitive is split when another word separates the to from the rest of an infinitive: to easily understand, to boldly go. The most recent edition of the Oxford English Dictionary allows split infinitives. Purists disagree.
3. Hopefully to mean I hope that. Hopefully means “in a hopeful manner.” However, a speaker who says “Hopefully, the rain
will stop” is talking about the speaker’s hope, not the rain’s.
4. Verbal to mean oral. Verbal means “using words.” Therefore, both writing and speaking are verbal communication. Nonver-
bal communication (for example, body language) does not use
words.
5. Comma before and. In a series of three or more items, some experts require a comma after the next to last item (the item
before the and ); others don’t.
Ask your instructor and your boss whether they are willing to
accept the less formal usage. When you write to someone you don’t
know, use standard grammar and usage.
Exercises
Each of the following sentences illustrates informal usage.
(a) Which would your instructor or your boss accept?
(b) Rewrite each of the sentences using standard grammar and usage.
1. Hopefully, we can expand our marketing efforts to Canada in
the next few months.
2. Max told us that everybody gets their chance eventually. The
trick is to be ready to take it when it happens.
3. Though Gregory said he had a verbal agreement with
Parker, Sandy reminded him that it should have been in
writing.
4. He said it was more important to successfully serve customers
than to simply sell products.
5. Sue Ellen wondered if the plan to quickly go to the supply
store before the meeting would instead make them late.
6. The department’s best employees are Kai, Paul, Giselle, Tim-
othy, and Elizabeth.
7. While they had a verbal disagreement on the phone yesterday,
they stayed professional and patched things up today.
8. Each manager should make sure their department has a box
for the Operation Feed campaign.
9. Carolyn said she expects that the Purchasing, Public Rela-
tions, and Building Management Departments will each send
their representatives to the meeting.
10. The fourth shipment got delayed in transit, but Jenny said
hopefully everybody will get their order within 72 hours.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Matters on Which Experts Disagree
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 255loc03261_ch14_237-255.indd 255 25/01/13 9:44 PM25/01/13 9:44 PM
Confirming pages
256
Choosing the Right Word 15
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
T he best word depends on context: the situation, your purposes, your audience, and the words
you have already used. As you choose words,
1. Use words that are accurate, appropriate, and familiar.
Accurate words mean what you want to say.
Appropriate words convey the attitudes you want and fit well with the other words in your
document.
Familiar words are easy to read and understand.
2. Use technical jargon only when it is essential and known to the reader. Eliminate business jargon.
LO 15-1 Recognize value in using the right words.
LO 15-2 Apply strategies for critical thinking in reading, writing, and beyond.
LO 15-3 Explain principles for word definition.
LO 15-4 Distinguish acceptable jargon from other types.
LO 15-5 Define words with similar sounds but different meanings.
Module 15 will help you to choose the right words for your business messages. After completing the
module, you should be able to
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 256loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 256 12/28/12 5:10 PM12/28/12 5:10 PM
Confirming pages
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word 257
Does using the right word really matter? LO 15-1
▶ The right word helps you look good and get the response you want.
Using the right word is part of the way you demonstrate that you’re part of a discourse
community (◀◀ p. 28). Using simple words is part of the way you create a friendly image of yourself and your organization. Using words that are part of standard edited English
helps you build credibility and demonstrate your professionalism.
Getting Your Meaning Across
When the words on the page don’t say what you mean, the reader has to work harder to
figure out your meaning. According to one report, “The western part of Ohio was trans-
ferred from Chicago to Cleveland.” 1 In fact, Ohio did not move. Instead, a company moved
responsibility for sales in western Ohio. Sometimes your audience can figure out what you
mean. Sometimes, your meaning will be lost. Sometimes the wrong word can cause you
to lose a lawsuit.
Denotation is a word’s literal or dictionary meaning. Most common words in English have more than one denotation. The word pound, for example, means, or denotes, a unit of weight, a place where stray animals are kept, a unit of money in the British system, and the
verb to hit. Coca-Cola spends an estimated $20 million a year to protect its brand names so that Coke will denote only that brand and not just any cola drink.
When two people use the same word to mean, or denote, different things, bypassing occurs. For example, negotiators for Amoco and for the Environmental Protection Agency
(EPA) used risk differently. At Amoco, risk was an economic term dealing with efficiency; for the EPA, the term “was a four-letter word that meant political peril or health risk.”
2
Progress was possible only when they agreed on a meaning.
Accurate denotations can make it easier to solve problems. In one production line
with a high failure rate, the largest category of defects was missed operations. At first, the supervisor wondered if the people on the line were lazy or irresponsible. But some
checking showed that several different problems were labeled missed operations: parts installed backward, parts that had missing screws or fasteners, parts whose wires weren’t
connected. Each of these problems had different solutions. Using accurate words redefined
the problem and enabled the production line both to improve quality and cut repair costs. 3
Getting the Response You Want
Using the right word helps you shape the audience’s response to what you say.
Connotation means the emotional colorings or associations that accompany a word. A great many words carry connotations of approval or disapproval, disgust or delight. Words
in the first column in the accompanying list suggest criticism; words in the second column
suggest approval.
Negative Word Positive Word
guess assume
nosy curious
haggle negotiate
fearful cautious
nit-picking careful
obstinate firm
wishy-washy flexible
A supervisor can “tell the truth” about a subordinate’s performance and yet write either
a positive or a negative performance appraisal, based on the connotations of the words
U.S. presidents, as well as
presidential hopefuls, are
known for sometimes choosing
words poorly. When President
George W. Bush declared
the war against terrorism a
“crusade,” the word troubled
many observers, who noted its
connotation, especially in the
Middle East, might be terrifying
to more than just the nation’s
enemies. His successor,
President Barack Obama, also
got into trouble. “The private
sector is doing fine” may
have been his biggest gaffe,
a statement made during his
2012 reelection campaign
against Mitt Romney. Though
supporters argued it was
interpreted out of context, the
comment seemed similar to
one by Senator John McCain
during the 2008 presidential
campaign that drew sharp
criticism from the Obama
camp. Romney made Obama’s
phrase the cornerstone of
TV commercials. Romney
himself got into trouble with
remarks to British interviewers
that preparations, including
security, for the 2012 Summer
Olympics in London were
“disconcerting.” Tabloids had a
field day, referring to the former
governor and 2002 Winter
Olympics chairman as “Mitt,
the Twit.” Even Prime Minister
David Cameron was critical.
Source: Glen Johnson, “President Obama’s ‘Private Sector’ Gaffe
a Possible Window to Soul
Like Other Recent Gaffes,”
The Boston Globe, June 11,
2012, http://www.boston.com/
politicalintelligence/2012/06/11/
president-obama-private-
sector-gaffe-possible-window-
soul-like-other-recent-gaffes/
mVfqps0bbcMa5nS20l5fcP/
story.html ; and Holly Bailey,
“British Media Hammer Romney
on Olympic Comments,” July
26, 2012, http://news.yahoo.
com/blogs/ticket/british-media-
hammer-romney-olympic-
comments-103800909.html .
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 257loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 257 12/28/12 5:10 PM12/28/12 5:10 PM
Confirming pages
258 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
in the appraisal. Consider an employee who pays close attention to details. A positive
appraisal might read, “Terry is a meticulous team member who takes care of details that
others sometimes ignore.” But the same behavior might be described negatively: “Terry is
hung up on trivial details.”
Advertisers carefully choose words with positive connotations. Expensive cars are
never used; instead, they’re preowned, experienced, or even preloved. An executive for Rolls-Royce once said, “A Rolls never, never breaks down. Of course,” he added, with a
twinkle in his eye, “there have been occasions when a car has failed to proceed.” 4
Words may also connote status. Both salesperson and sales representative are nonsexist job titles. But the first sounds like a clerk in a store; the second suggests someone selling
important items to corporate customers.
Use familiar words that are in almost everyone’s vocabulary. Try to use specific, con-
crete words. They’re easier to understand and remember. 5 Short, common words sound
friendlier.
Stuffy: Please give immediate attention to ensure that the pages of all reports prepared for distribution are numbered sequentially and in a place of optimum visibility.
6
Simple: Please put page numbers on all reports in the top outer corner.
The following list gives a few examples of short, simple alternatives.
Formal and Stuffy Short and Simple
ameliorate improve
commence begin
enumerate list
finalize finish, complete
prioritize rank
utilize use
viable option choice
There are four exceptions to the general rule that “shorter is better.”
1. Use a long word if it is the only word that expresses your meaning exactly.
2. Use a long word or phrase if it is more familiar than a short word. Send out is better than emit and a word in another language for a geographic place or area is better than exonym because more people know the first item in each pair.
3. Use a long word if its connotations are more appropriate. Exfoliate is better than scrape off dead skin cells.
4. Use a long word if the discourse community prefers it.
Connotations may differ among cultures. Even within a culture, connotations may change over time. The word charity had acquired such negative connotations by the 19th century that people began to use the term welfare instead. Now, welfare has acquired nega- tive associations. Most states have public assistance programs instead.
How positively can we present something and still be ethical? Referring to a product as
probiotic is probably better than saying it’s infused with bacteria similar to those in your digestive system.
7 Pressure-treated lumber sounds acceptable. But naming the product by
Learning idioms, such as
“I’m making the grade” and
“She’s geeking on Twilight,”
is challenging, especially to
non-native speakers of English.
To help people who learned
English in India, China, the
Czech Republic, and other
countries adapt to American
phrases, companies like
English, Baby! and web-based
programming like the Voice
of America’s OMG! Meiyu
reach out to millions of people
who wish to understand the
nuances of “eye gunk.” Among
the words and phrases that
trip up non-native speakers
are “psyched,” “big deal,” and
“hookup.”
Source: Alina Dizik, “Mastering the Finer Points of American Slang,”
The Wall Street Journal, May 30,
2012, http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB1000142405270230361050457
7418660113838998.html .
Sales of prunes fell 14% from 1993 to
1999. To stop the slide, the California
Prune Board decided to change the
product’s name (and its own). To do so
required approval from the U.S. Food
& Drug Administration, which regulates
food labels. Now you can’t buy prunes;
you buy “dried plums.” By July 2001,
sales had risen 5.5% over the previous
12-month period. 8 Prune Dried Plum
The food industry continues to
use words that are potentially
misleading to consumers. For
instance, if the label says “all
natural,” consumers should
be aware that there is no
legal definition for what that
means, and something that is
“fat free” may, in fact, still be
high in calories, especially if its
principal ingredient is sugar.
Source: Charlotte Andersen, “Are You Falling for These Food Label
Lies?” Shape, December 27, 2011,
http://www.shape.com/healthy-
eating/diet-tips/are-you-falling-
these-10-food-label-lies .
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 258loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 258 12/28/12 5:10 PM12/28/12 5:10 PM
Confirming pages
259
Thinking Critically LO 15-2
Like many terms, critical thinking has more than one meaning. In its most basic sense, critical thinking means using precise
words and asking questions about what you read and hear.
Vague: This Wall Street Journal story discusses international business.
Precise: This Wall Street Journal story tells how Walmart plans to expand into Europe.
challenges the claim that a U.S. company needs a
native partner to succeed in international business.
gives examples of translation problems in
international business.
compares and contrasts accounting rules in Europe
and in Asia.
tells how three women have succeeded in
international business.
Questions about a Wall Street Journal story might include
• What information is the story based on? Did the reporter
interview people on both sides of the issue?
• When was the information collected? Is it still valid?
• Does evidence from other newspapers and magazines and from
your own experience tend to confirm or contradict this story?
• How important is this story? Does it call for action on
your part?
Critical thinking is especially important to business in the
21st century, so much so that the narrow focus on traditional
business skills in MBA programs earned criticism from man-
agement guru Warren Bennis. He noted, “They are teaching
courses to middle managers when they need to prepare lead-
ers.” To help students learn to think “out of the box,” some
MBA programs now include courses in law, poetry, entrepre-
neurship, and biotechnology.
In a more advanced sense, critical thinking means the ability
to identify problems, gather and evaluate evidence, identify and
evaluate alternate solutions, and recommend or act on the best
choice—while understanding that information is always incom-
plete and that new information might change one’s judgment of
the “best” choice.
In its most advanced sense, critical thinking means asking
about and challenging fundamental assumptions. For example,
as companies shift from a domestic business model to a global
one, they must question whether their values fit into new
marketplaces.
That’s what U.S. companies wishing to attract China’s youth
market—whose annual incomes total $40 billion—did, finding
that while Chinese youth want to express themselves, images of
extreme rebellion were distasteful to them.
“Chinese youth are not becoming Western. You don’t scrub
away 5,000 years of Confucian values with a couple of ads
for McDonald’s and Pepsi,” said Tom Doctoroff, a marketing
expert and CEO in Shanghai.
Even as they dye their hair wild colors or get body pierc-
ings, Chinese youth are still concerned with values like good
grades and pleasing their parents. So, American companies
Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, and the National Basketball Associa-
tion identified four “passion points” that aligned with Chinese
value systems: music, fashion, sports, and technology. They
created promotions that appealed to these passion points, using
popular Chinese celebrities and athletes in socially acceptable
presentations.
Coca-Cola alone saw sales increase in cyber cafés by 30%.
Such benefits came from questioning the assumption that
young people around the world assert their individuality in the
same way and for the same reasons.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that men who rate themselves as disagree- able, stubborn, and difficult make more money than co-workers,
an average of 18% more pay. Judged at face value, such a study
suggests rewards for being mean in the workplace. But what
is the explanation? Is it because the workplace values being
mean? Or are mean men more assertive, and thus more likely
to compete harder for raises and promotions? And what are
the long-term effects? For instance, do mean men make more
money in the short run but less over the course of their careers?
Thinking critically about questions like these can lead to mean-
ingful conclusions.
Sources: James Flanigan, “Makeover for MBA Programs,” www.latimes .com/business/la-fi-flan26june26,1,5147417.column, June 26, 2005;
Normandy Madden, “Reaching China’s Youth: A Balancing Act,”
Advertising Age, June 6, 2005, 14; and Liz Goodwin, “Mean Guys Finish First, at Least in Their Paychecks,” August 15, 2011,
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/mean-guys-finish-first-least-
paychecks-193159172.html .
the material injected under pressure— arsenic-treated lumber —may lead the customer to make a different decision. Wood treated in this way even has been banned from most resi-
dential uses in the United States. We have the right to package our ideas attractively, but
we have the responsibility to give the public or our superiors all the information they need
to make decisions.
Building a Critical Skill
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 259loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 259 12/28/12 5:10 PM12/28/12 5:10 PM
Confirming pages
260 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
How do words get their meanings? LO 15-3
▶ Most meanings depend on usage.
Some dictionaries are descriptive, that is, their definitions describe the way people actually use words. In such a dictionary, the word verbal might be defined as spoken, not written, because many people use the word that way. In a prescriptive dictionary, words are defined as they are supposed to be used, according to a panel of experts. In such a dictionary, verbal would be defined as using words —which of course includes both writing and speaking. Check the introduction to your dictionary to find out which kind it is.
We learn meanings by context, by being alert and observant. Some terms will have
a specialized meaning in a social or work group. We learn some meanings by formal
and informal study: “generally accepted accounting principles” or what the trash can on
an e-mail screen symbolizes. Some meanings are negotiated as we interact one-on-one
with another person, attempting to communicate. Some words persist, even though the
reality behind them has changed. In 9 of the 10 largest U.S. cities, so-called “minori-
ties” are already in the majority. 9 Some people are substituting the term traditionally
underrepresented groups for minorities, but the old term is likely to remain in use for some time.
Some meanings are voted upon. Take, for example, the term minority-owned business. For years, the National Minority Supplier Development Council (NMSDC) has defined
the term as a business at least 51% of whose owners were members of racial or ethnic
minorities. But that made it hard for businesses to attract major capital or to go public,
since doing so would give more ownership to European-American investors. In 2000, the
NMSDC redefined minority-owned business as one with minority management and at least 30% minority ownership.
10
Is it OK to use jargon? LO 15-4
▶ If it’s essential.
There are two kinds of jargon . The first kind of jargon is the specialized terminology of a technical field. LIFO and FIFO are technical terms in accounting; byte and baud are computer jargon; scale-free and pickled and oiled designate specific characteris- tics of steel. Using technical terms in a job application letter suggests that you’re a
peer who also is competent in that field. In other messages, use technical jargon only
when the term is essential. Define the term when you’re not sure whether the reader
knows it.
Instant Replay
Denotation, Bypassing,
and Connotation
Denotation is a word’s literal or dictionary meaning. Bypassing occurs when two people use the
same word to mean, or denote,
different things. Connotation means the emotional colorings
or associations that accompany
a word.
I R
Denotation
Many words are easily confused.
By permission of Rick Detorie and Creators Syndicate, Inc.
Site to See
Go to
www.sec.gov/pdf/ handbook.pdf
for the Security and Exchange
Commission’s A Plain English
Handbook.
Go to
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 260loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 260 12/28/12 5:10 PM12/28/12 5:10 PM
Confirming pages
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word 261
Instant Replay
Use a long word when
1. It is the only word that
expresses your meaning
exactly.
2. It is more familiar than a
short word.
3. Its connotations are more
appropriate.
4. The discourse community
prefers it.
I R
Use a long w
If a technical term has a “plain English” equivalent, use the simpler term:
Jargon: Foot the average monthly budget column down to Total Variable Cost, Total Management Fixed Cost, Total Sunk Costs, and Grand Total.
Better: Add the figures in the average monthly budget column for each category to determine the Total Variable Costs, the Total Management Fixed Costs, and the Total Sunk Costs. Then
add the totals for each category to arrive at the Grand Total.
The revision here is longer but better because it uses simple words. The original will be
meaningless to a reader who does not know what foot means. The second kind of jargon is business jargon, sometimes called businessese: as per
your request, enclosed please find, please do not hesitate. If any of the terms in the first column of Figure 15.1 show up in your writing, replace them with more modern
language.
What words confuse some writers? LO 15-5
▶ Words with similar sounds can have very different meanings.
Here’s a list of words that are frequently confused. Master them, and you’ll be well on the
way to using the right word.
1. accede/exceed
accede: to yield
exceed: to go beyond, surpass
I accede to your demand that we not exceed the budget.
2. accept/except
accept: to receive
except: to leave out or exclude; but
I accept your proposal except for point 3.
Figure 15.1 Getting Rid of Business Jargon
Instead of Use Because
At your earliest convenience The date you need a response If you need it by a deadline, say so. It may never be convenient
to respond.
As per your request; 55 miles
per hour
As you requested; 55 miles an hour Per is a Latin word for by or for each. Use per only when the
meaning is correct; avoid mixing English and Latin.
Enclosed please find Enclosed is; Here is An enclosure isn’t a treasure hunt. If you put something in the
envelope, the reader will find it.
Forward same to this office Return it to this office Omit legal jargon.
Hereto, herewith Omit Omit legal jargon.
Please be advised; Please be
informed
Omit—simply start your response You don’t need a preface. Go ahead and start.
Please do not hesitate Omit Omit negative words.
Pursuant to According to; or omit Pursuant does not mean after. Omit legal jargon in any case.
Said order Your order Omit legal jargon.
This will acknowledge receipt
of your letter.
Omit—start your response If you answer a letter, the reader knows you got it.
Trusting this is satisfactory, we
remain
Omit Eliminate -ing endings. When you are through, stop.
Site to See
Go to
www.yourdictionary.com/ fun.html
for links to word games on the
web.
Go to
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 261loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 261 12/28/12 5:11 PM12/28/12 5:11 PM
Confirming pages
262 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
3. access/excess
access: the right to use; admission to
excess: surplus
As supply clerk, he had access to any excess materials.
4. adept/adopt
adept: skilled
adopt: to take as one’s own
She was adept at getting people to adopt her ideas.
5. advice/advise
advice: (noun) counsel
advise: (verb) to give counsel or advice to someone
I asked him to advise me but I didn’t like the advice I got.
6. affect/effect
affect: (verb) to influence or modify
effect: (verb) to produce or cause; (noun) result
He hoped that his argument would affect his boss’ decision, but so far as he could see,
it had no effect.
The tax relief effected some improvement for the citizens whose incomes had been
affected by inflation.
7. affluent/effluent
affluent: (adjective) rich, possessing in abundance
effluent: (noun) something that flows out
Affluent companies can afford the cost of removing pollutants from the effluents their
factories produce.
8. a lot/allot
a lot: many (informal)
allot: divide or give to
A lot of players signed up for this year’s draft. We allotted one first-round draft choice
to each team.
9. amount/number
amount: (use with concepts that cannot be counted individually but can only be
measured)
number: (use when items can be counted individually)
It’s a mistake to try to gauge the amount of interest he has by the number of questions
he asks.
10. are/our
are: (plural linking verb)
our: belonging to us
Are we ready to go ahead with our proposal?
11. assure/ensure/insure
assure: to give confidence, to state confidently
ensure: to make safe (figuratively)
insure: to make safe, often by paying a fee against possible risk
I assure you that we ensure employees’ safety by hiring bodyguards.
The pianist insured his fingers against possible damage.
12. attributed/contributed
attributed: was said to be caused by
contributed: gave something to
The rain probably contributed to the accident, but the police officer attributed the
accident to driver error.
• Octoberfest is held in
September.
• The Big 10 has 12 teams.
• The principal ingredient in
sweetbread is neither sugar
nor bread but the cooked
pancreas or thymus of a
young animal, usually a calf.
Site to See
Go to
www.wsu.edu/~brians/ errors
for an even longer list of errors
(and words that may sound
wrong but are really right).
Instant Replay
Two Kinds of Jargon
Technical jargon includes words that have specific
technical meanings. Use
this kind of jargon in job
application letters. Avoid other
technical jargon unless it’s
essential. Business jargon or businessese are words that do not have specialized
meanings. Never use these
terms.
I R
Two Kinds o
Go to
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 262loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 262 12/28/12 5:11 PM12/28/12 5:11 PM
Confirming pages
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word 263
13. between/among
between: (use with only two choices)
among: (use with more than two choices)
This year the differences between the two candidates for president are unusually
clear.
I don’t see any major differences among the candidates for city council.
14. cite/sight/site
cite: (verb) to quote
sight: (noun) vision, something to be seen
site: (noun) real or virtual location
She cited the old story of the building inspector who was depressed by the very sight
of the site for the new factory.
15. complement/compliment
complement: (verb) to complete, finish; (noun) something that completes
compliment: (verb) to praise; (noun) praise
The compliment she gave me complemented my happiness.
16. compose/comprise
compose: make up, create
comprise: consist of, be made up of, be composed of
The city council is composed of 12 members. Each district comprises an area 50
blocks square.
17. confuse/complicate/exacerbate
confuse: to bewilder
complicate: to make more complex or detailed
exacerbate: to make worse
Because I missed the first 20 minutes of the movie, I didn’t understand what was
going on. The complicated plot exacerbated my confusion.
18. describe/prescribe
describe: list the features of something, tell what something looks like
prescribe: specify the features something must contain
The law prescribes the priorities for making repairs. His report describes our plans to
comply with the law.
19. discreet/discrete
discreet: tactful, careful not to reveal secrets
discrete: separate, distinct
I have known him to be discreet on two discrete occasions.
20. do/due
do: (verb) act or make
due: (adjective) scheduled, caused by
The banker said she would do her best to change the due date.
Due to the computer system, the payroll can be produced in only two days for all
453 employees.
21. elicit/illicit
elicit: (verb) to draw out
illicit: (adjective) not permitted, unlawful
The reporter could elicit no information from the Senator about his illicit
love affair.
While spell-checkers are
getting better at finding
mistakes, they still typically get
tripped up by homonyms, or
words that sound alike, and
correctly spelled words that
are being used incorrectly.
Watch out for “affect” instead
of “effect,” for instance, or
saying “I would of” instead
of “I would have.” Word
processing programs have
customizable features to help.
Microsoft Word, for instance,
can use multiple dictionaries
so foreign or technical words
can be checked for different
kinds of writing projects. One
way to check for homonyms
is to exclude them from the
dictionary so they are flagged
every time. Grammar checkers
may also catch some of these
types of errors, but the best
final step is still to know the
correct words and phrases and
review documents manually for
errors.
Source: Kaboodle.com, “11 Common Spelling Errors Spell
Check Won’t Catch,” April 16,
2012, http://shine.yahoo.com/
work-money/11-common-
spelling-errors-spell-check-
won-8217-172300248.html ; Helen
Bradley, “10 Spelling Checker
Secrets for Microsoft Word,” PC
World, March 13, 2012, http://
www.pcworld.com/businesscenter/
article/251766/10_spelling_
checker_secrets_for_microsoft_
word.html .
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 263loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 263 12/28/12 5:11 PM12/28/12 5:11 PM
Confirming pages
264 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
22. eminent/immanent/imminent
eminent: distinguished
immanent: dwelling within tangible objects
imminent: about to happen
The eminent doctor believed that death was imminent. The eminent minister believed
that God was immanent.
23. fewer/less
fewer: (use for objects that can be counted individually)
less: (use for objects that can be measured but not counted individually)
There is less sand in this bucket; there are probably fewer grains of sand, too.
24. forward/foreword
forward: ahead
foreword: preface, introduction
The author looked forward to writing the foreword to the book.
25. good/well
good: (adjective, used to modify nouns; as a noun, means something that is
good)
well: (adverb, used to modify verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs)
Her words “ Good work!” told him that he was doing well.
He spent a great deal of time doing volunteer work because he believed that doing
good was just as important as doing well.
26. i.e./e.g.
i.e.: ( id est —that is) introduces a restatement or explanation of the preceding word or phrase
e.g.: ( exempli gratia —for the sake of an example; for example) introduces one or more examples
Although he had never studied Latin, he rarely made a mistake in using Latin abbre-
viations, e.g., i.e., etc., because he associated each with a mnemonic device (i.e., a word or image used to help one remember something). He remembered i.e. as in effect, pretended that e.g. meant example given, and used etc. only when examples to continue would fit.
27. imply/infer
imply: suggest, put an idea into someone’s head
infer: deduce, get an idea out from something
She implied that an announcement would be made soon. I inferred from her smile that
it would be an announcement of her promotion.
28. it’s/its
it’s: it is, it has
its: belonging to it
It’s clear that a company must satisfy its customers to stay in business.
29. lectern/podium
lectern: raised stand with a slanted top that holds a manuscript for a reader or
notes for a speaker
podium: platform for a speaker or conductor to stand on
I left my notes on the lectern when I left the podium at the end of my talk.
30. lie/lay
lie: to recline; to tell a falsehood (never takes an object)
lay: to put an object on something (always takes an object)
He was laying the papers on the desk when I came in, but they aren’t lying there now.
With foreclosure imminent,
some homeowners found
a three-word phrase to
stave off banks and lending
companies: Produce the
note. Many mortgages had
been bundled and sold
during the real estate boom,
sometimes repeatedly, and
not every company claiming
ownership of a mortgage had
the documentation to prove
it. As a result, homeowners
slowed or stopped foreclosure
or even convinced lenders to
renegotiate the mortgage.
Source: Mitch Stacy, “Homeowner’s Rallying Cry:
Produce the Note,” The San
Francisco Chronicle, February 17,
2009, http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-
bin/article.cgi?f 5 /n/a/2009/02/17/
national/a120919S63.DTL .
While fast food may not imply
romance to many people, it
did for customers participating
in White Castle’s Valentine’s
Day experience at select
locations. To date, nearly
4,000 couples have enjoyed
the holiday trimmings at 157
of the chain’s 419 locations,
and one couple even wed in a
Louisville, KY, restaurant. The
cake was shaped like a “slider”
hamburger.
Source: Emily Bryson York, “White Castle Taking Reservations for
Valentine’s Day,” Advertising Age,
January 19, 2010, http://adage.com/
adages/post?article_id 5 141584 .
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 264loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 264 12/28/12 5:11 PM12/28/12 5:11 PM
Confirming pages
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word 265
31. loose/lose
loose: not tight
lose: to have something disappear
If I lose weight, this suit will be loose.
32. moral/morale
moral: (adjective) virtuous, good; (noun: morals) ethics, sense of right
and wrong
morale: (noun) spirit, attitude, mental outlook
Studies have shown that coed dormitories improve student morale without harming
student morals.
33. objective/rationale
objective: goal
rationale: reason, justification
The objective of the meeting was to explain the rationale behind the decision.
34. personal/personnel
personal: individual, to be used by one person
personnel: staff, employees
All personnel will get new personal computers by the end of the year.
35. possible/possibly
possible: (adjective) something that can be done
possibly: (adverb) perhaps
It is possible that we will be able to hire this spring. We can choose from possibly
the best graduating class in the past five years.
36. precede/proceed
precede: (verb) to go before
proceed: (verb) to continue; (noun: proceeds) money
Raising the money must precede spending it. Only after we obtain the funds can we
proceed to spend the proceeds.
37. principal/principle
principal: (adjective) main; (noun) person in charge; money lent out at interest
principle: (noun) basic truth or rule, code of conduct
The Prince, Machiavelli’s principal work, describes his principles for ruling a state.
38. quiet/quite
quiet: not noisy
quite: very
It was quite difficult to find a quiet spot anywhere near the floor of the stock
exchange.
39. regulate/relegate
regulate: control
relegate: put (usually in an inferior position)
If the federal government regulates the size of lettering on county road signs, we may
as well relegate the current signs to the garbage bin.
40. residence/residents
residence: home
residents: people who live in a building
The residents had different reactions when they learned that a shopping mall would be
built next to their residence.
Consider how words can be
presented in headlines, on
signage, and anywhere else.
Company and domain names
may run together, for instance,
creating unexpected results.
Some rumors about problems
are true. Snopes.com, which
investigates the authenticity
of urban legends, verifies that
Italy’s Powergen indeed found
itself with powergenitalia.com
when it created a website,
and Experts Exchange, a site
for computer programmers,
initially could be found at
expertsexchange.com .
Source: Downloaded on January 27, 2008, at www.snopes.com/
business/names/domains.asp .
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 265loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 265 12/28/12 5:11 PM12/28/12 5:11 PM
Confirming pages
266 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
41. respectfully/respectively
respectfully: with respect
respectively: to each in the order listed
When I was introduced to the queen, the prime minister, and the court jester, I bowed
respectfully, shook hands politely, and winked, respectively.
42. role/roll
role: part in a play or script, function (in a group)
roll: (noun) list of students, voters, or other members; round piece of bread;
(verb) move by turning over and over
While the teacher called the roll, George—in his role as class clown—threw a roll he
had saved from lunch.
43. simple/simplistic
simple: not complicated
simplistic: watered down, oversimplified
She was able to explain the proposal in simple terms without making the explanation
sound simplistic.
44. stationary/stationery
stationary: not moving, fixed
stationery: paper
During the earthquake, even the stationery was not stationary.
45. their/there/they’re
their: belonging to them
there: in that place
they’re: they are
There are plans, designed to their specifications, for the house they’re building.
46. to/too/two
to: (preposition) function word indicating proximity, purpose,
time, etc.
too: (adverb) also, very, excessively
two: (adjective) the number 2
The formula is too secret to entrust to two people.
47. unique/unusual
unique: sole, only, alone
unusual: not common
I believed that I was unique in my ability to memorize long strings of numbers until
I consulted Guinness World Records and found that I was merely unusual: Someone else had equaled my feat in 1997.
48. verbal/oral
verbal: using words
oral: spoken, not written
His verbal skills were uneven: His oral communication was excellent, but he didn’t
write well. His sensitivity to nonverbal cues was acute: He could tell what kind of day
I had just by looking at my face.
Hint: Oral comes from the Latin word for mouth, os. Think of Oral-B Toothbrushes: For the mouth.
Verbal comes from the Latin word for word, verba. Nonverbal language is language that does not use words (e.g., body language).
If you misspell a popular
web address, what are your
chances of landing on a site
owned by a “typo-squatter”?
One in 14. According to
research by McAfee, the
security software company,
typo-squatters capitalize on
poor typists, taking them to
similar-sounding websites
that feature clickable ads.
Companies can earn nearly
a quarter with each click.
Harvard University’s Tyler
Moore and Benjamin Edelman
estimate that if 60% of such
sites have advertising supplied
by Google, the company could
earn $497 million a year.
Source: Dan Kaplan, “McAfee: Typo-Squatters Cashing In on
Website Misspellings,” November
20, 2007, downloaded at http//
www.securecomputing.net.au/
news/65384,mcafee-typosquatters-
cashing-in-on-website-misspellings.
aspx; and Jim Giles, “Typos May
Earn Google $500m a Year,” New
Scientist, February 2010, http://
www.newscientist.com/article/
dn18542-typos-may-earn-google-
500m-a-year.html .
What do Mark Twain, Charles
Darwin, Theodore Roosevelt,
and Ed Rondthaler have in
common? Each has wanted to
reform the spelling of words in
English, using a more phonetic
basis. Says Rondthaler,
a 102-year-old who has
championed the case for
decades: “We have 42 different
sounds in English, and we spell
them 400 different ways.”
Source: Rebecca Dana, “National Spelling Bee Brings Out Protesters
Who R Thru with Through,” The Wall
Street Journal, May 30, 2008, A1.
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 266loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 266 12/28/12 5:12 PM12/28/12 5:12 PM
Confirming pages
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word 267
49. whether/weather
whether: (conjunction) used to introduce possible alternatives
weather: (noun) atmosphere: wet or dry, hot or cold, calm or storm
We will have to see what the weather is before we decide whether to hold the picnic
indoors or out.
50. your/you’rer
your: belonging to you
you’re: you are
You’re the top candidate for promotion in your division.
Assignments for Module 15
15.1 What is the difference between denotation and connotation? (LO 15-1)
15.2 What is bypassing? (LO 15-1)
15.3 Why are short, simple words generally best? (LO 15-1)
15.4 What are the two kinds of jargon? Which is OK to use at times? (LO 15-4)
Questions for Comprehension
15.5 If you were going to buy a new dictionary, would you want a descriptive or a prescriptive one? Why? (LO 15-3)
15.6 Why is it desirable to use technical jargon in a job letter and a job interview? (LO 15-4)
15.7 How can you avoid confusing words that sound or seem similar? (LO 15-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Denotation is a word’s literal or dictionary meaning. (LO 15-1)
• Bypassing occurs when two people use the same word to mean, or denote, different things. (LO 15-1)
• Connotation means the emotional colorings or associations that accompany a word. (LO 15-1)
• Generally, short words are better. But use a long word when
(LO 15-1) 1. It is the only word that expresses your meaning exactly.
2. It is more familiar than a short word.
3. Its connotations are more appropriate.
4. The discourse community prefers it.
• In its most basic sense, critical thinking means using precise words and asking questions about what you read and hear.
(LO 15-2) • In a more advanced sense, critical thinking means the ability to
identify problems, gather and evaluate evidence, identify and
evaluate alternate solutions, and recommend or act on the best
choice. (LO 15-2)
• Some dictionaries are descriptive, meaning their definitions describe the way people actually use words. Prescriptive dic- tionaries define words the way a panel of experts say they
should be used. (LO 15-3) • We also learn meanings through context and formal and infor-
mal study. Some meanings are voted upon by groups, such as
professional or regulatory organizations. (LO 15-3) • Jargon is acceptable if it is essential, such as necessary tech-
nical terms. Avoid business jargon, or businessese, which includes trite phrases like as per your request and please do not hesitate. (LO 15-4)
• Words that sound similar to each other but have different meanings
often confuse people. These words include accept/except, affect/ effect, discreet/discrete, forward/foreword, it’s/its, loose/lose, personal/ personnel, principal/principle, quiet/quite, respectfully/respectively, their/there/they’re, and to/too/two. (LO 15-5)
• Other words that seem similar and are frequently confused
include between/among, fewer/less, good/well, and verbal/oral. (LO 15-5)
a. Each of the following words has several denotations.
How many do you know? How many does a good dic-
tionary list?
browser link sample
b. List five words that have multiple denotations.
Exercises and Problems
15.8 Identifying Words with Multiple Denotations (LO 15-1)
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 267loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 267 12/28/12 5:12 PM12/28/12 5:12 PM
Confirming pages
268 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
15.9 Explaining Bypassing (LO 15-1)
Show how bypassing is possible in the following examples.
a. France and Associates: Protection from Professionals
b. We were not able to account for the outstanding amount
of plastic waste generated each year.
c. I scanned the résumés when I received them.
15.10 Evaluating Connotations (LO 15-1)
a. Identify the connotations of each of the following
metaphors for a multicultural nation.
melting pot
mosaic
tapestry
garden salad
stew
b. Which connotations seem most positive? Why?
15.11 Evaluating the Ethical Implications of Connotations (LO 15-1)
In each of the following pairs, identify the more favorable
term. Is its use justified? Why or why not?
1. wastepaper recovered fiber
2. feedback criticism
3. scalper ticket reseller
4. budget spending plan
5. caviar fish eggs
15.12 Correcting Errors in Denotation and Connotation (LO 15-1)
Identify and correct the errors in the following sentences.
1. Louie speaks pretty good English for a guy from the
south side.
2. I literally exploded with joy when I found out I got the job.
3. Thank goodness Carl, the senior vice president, is older
than dirt and has the memory of an elephant.
4. For a woman, JoAnn is remarkably stable—she might
just have what it takes for management.
5. Marti estimated the air fare would be $324.34 for a
roundtrip flight to Spokane. She said we could rent a car
and drive instead for about $231.41.
15.13 Using Connotations to Shape Response (LO 15-1)
Write two sentences to describe each of the following situ- ations, one with positive words, the other with negative
words.
1. Lee talks to co-workers about subjects other than work,
such as last weekend’s ball game.
2. Lee spends a lot of time sending e-mail messages and
monitoring e-mail newsgroups.
3. As a supervisor, Lee rarely gives specific instructions to
subordinates.
15.14 Choosing Levels of Formality (LO 15-1, LO 15-3)
Identify the more formal word in each pair. Which term is better for most business documents? Why?
1. adapted to geared to
2. befuddled confused
3. assistant helper
4. pilot project testing the waters
5. cogitate think
15.15 Identifying Jargon (LO 15-4)
How many of these business jargon terms do you know?
1. Sticky website
2. Alpha geek
3. Road warrior
4. E-tailer
5. Bottom-fish
15.16 Eliminating Jargon and Simplifying Language (LO 15-5)
Revise these sentences to eliminate jargon and to use short, familiar words. You may need to rewrite or add information.
1. With regard to the aforementioned letter of July the 15 th , we
expect to expedite your order to ship not later than July 21.
2. Jordyn fully appreciates your understanding with regards
to the penultimate and ultimate recommendations for
your consideration.
3. Your affirmation via signature will conclude all manner
of business regarding this transaction.
4. Per your request, please find enclosed the listing of the
required nomenclature for the project headings.
5. Proffering the appropriate renumeration for services
rendered assists in securing the most adroit and capable
person for our employ.
15.17 Choosing the Right Word (LO 15-1 to LO 15-5)
Choose the right word for each sentence.
1. We were waiting for (their/there) fax to come through.
2. A good manager is always aware of the (moral/morale)
of his or her employees.
3. (Are/Our) best practices are described on the company
web page.
4. Many of the Boca Raton (residence/residents), Lani told
us, want to move in by the fifth day of the month their
lease begins.
5. It was (quiet/quite) surprising to see Tyree’s
name missing from the list of Haller-Jacobs Award
nominees.
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 268loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 268 12/28/12 5:12 PM12/28/12 5:12 PM
Confirming pages
Module 15 Choosing the Right Word 269
6. We have to be careful not to (loose/lose) the Philmore
Company contract because our first-quarter perfor-
mance will be based on it.
7. When Andre asked me to write the (forward/foreword)
to the book, I was honored—he’s been my mentor since
the day I started working here.
8. According to Bridget, the decline in sales can be
(attributed/contributed) to an overall dip in the economy.
9. Chelsea Lomax stepped right up to the (lectern/podium)
and gave the best speech I’ve ever heard.
10. (Between/Among) you and me, I think the proposal
needs a lot more work before we can submit it.
15.18 Choosing the Right Word (LO 15-1 to LO 15-5)
Choose the right word for each sentence.
1. (Their/There/They’re) thinking that it’s a good idea to
hire a consultant to help us plan the festival.
2. While writing his report, Ahmed (implied/inferred)
from the data that the next big trend will focus on 3D
technology.
3. I asked Jennifer where the slides were, and she said she
found them (laying/lying) on the conference table.
4. Tom pointed out we could expect (fewer/less) turbu-
lence in the marketplace this year, as the economy
seems to be stabilizing.
5. Though the (amount/number) of typos was small, they
were enough to make his résumé seem poor compared
to the competition.
6. When Eliza.beth (accepted/excepted) the position, she
said she would be happy to help train her replacement
before leaving.
7. Xian submitted a request for additional (personal/
personnel) to help with getting our phone system
installed by January 10.
8. If managers get questions from staff regarding downsizing—
(i.e.,/e.g.,) which employees will be laid off?—they should
direct those employees to the HR Department.
9. The obvious (affects/effects) of having high employee
morale are lower turnover, decreased accidents, and bet-
ter productivity.
10. Make sure that you get the agreement in writing; our
legal counsel stresses that a(n) (oral/verbal) agreement
is too informal.
15.19 Choosing the Right Word (LO 15-1 to LO 15-4)
Choose the right word for each sentence.
1. The letter said (are/our) books showed we (are/our) in
good financial health.
2. Arthur is one of the (principals/principles) at the firm,
and as such, he has a duty to oversee operations.
3. (Whether/Weather) we expect to need it or not, it’s a
good idea to have liability insurance.
4. A (unique/unusual) characteristic of our chroming pro-
cess is the one-of-a-kind, durable finish.
5. Three attorneys (compose/comprise) the legal team that
is reviewing the contracts presented to us by Hynek and
Associates.
6. Though it was (implied/inferred) in the proposal that the
project could be completed with a minimum of expense,
Phoebe says we would be wise to budget for several
thousand dollars more anyway.
7. Christina pointed out (its/it’s) likely that we will see
orders pick up the closer we get to the December holidays.
8. Of the many (moral/morale) (principals/principles) that
guide our decision making, considering our customers’
welfare is the most important.
9. Perhaps (to/too/two) much attention was given to the
technical details of the project when more could have
been paid to the overall (objective/rationale).
10. Slapping his hand on the (lectern/podium) for emphasis,
Brin Maxwell said we could (lose/loose) customers if
we (precede/proceed) rashly in our expansion into other
markets.
A sentence with too many ideas, strung together by coordinating
conjunctions that lack the required commas, is a run-on. (Remem- ber that coordinating conjunctions such as and, or, and but need a comma to connect independent clauses.)
Run-ons confound readers because there are too many ideas
competing for attention and because the missing commas make the
ideas harder to follow. The effect is similar to listening to a speaker
who does not pause between sentences—where does one point
begin and another end?
Test for run-ons by looking for more than two main
ideas in a sentence and a lack of commas with coordinating
conjunctions:
We installed the new computers this morning and they are
running fine but there weren’t enough computers for everyone
so we are going to purchase more on Wednesday and we will
install them and then the department will be fully operational.
Count the number of things going on in this sentence. Where are
the commas?
Fix a run-on in one of three ways:
1. For short run-ons, add the missing commas:
Incorrect: The purchasing department sent order forms but we received too few so we are requesting more.
Run-On Sentences
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 269loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 269 12/28/12 5:12 PM12/28/12 5:12 PM
Confirming pages
270 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Correct: The purchasing department sent order forms, but we received too few, so we are requesting more.
2. Rewrite the sentence using subordination:
Correct: Because we received too few order forms, we are requesting more from the purchasing department.
3. For longer run-ons, break the run-on into two or more sentences,
add missing commas, and subordinate where appropriate.
Correct: We installed the new computers this morning. They are running fine, but because there weren’t enough computers for
everyone, we are going to purchase more on Wednesday. When
we install them, the department will be fully operational.
Exercises
Fix the following run-on errors.
1. Jessica went to college in Texas but her sister stayed in Indiana
and attended a local private university.
2. Many of our employees would trade vacation days for shorter
work hours in general but we’re not sure that the central office
would approve of the idea.
3. George said he was going to be late for the meeting but Char-
lene said she would be there on time so let’s plan still getting
together at 1 p.m.
4. A few of the employees nearing retirement age want us to
hold planning seminars but we don’t really have the space for
it so please ask someone in HR to locate a room at a confer-
ence center.
5. Tucker wants to know if he should stay later tonight but I
haven’t heard from Andy yet and Paulette told me she would
call back in a few minutes.
6. Nabil purchased the stock at the expected price and the order
went through but we later got a call from the broker about it.
7. The letter traveled to several offices before it got to me and I
only just read it so it may take me a while to consider what it
says so you might want to come back in an hour.
8. Joe Dunleavy said he would submit the proposal to the Atlanta
office but Karlie DelVechhio thinks it makes more sense to
run it past Kevin Green in Legal first and Miranda Kang, who
just got her law degree from DePaul, agrees.
9. While St. Augustine was my first choice, I really like Tampa
and I found a terrific place to live that is close to the beach but
it is very affordable and I think I’m really going to like it here!
10. The Bergerons and the Shimedas said they would be attending
the awards dinner but Lou Carlisle said his wife has another
commitment so he is attending alone and that means we will
need to make sure we have the correct number of seats.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 270loc03261_ch15_256-270.indd 270 12/28/12 5:12 PM12/28/12 5:12 PM
Confirming pages
271
R evising sentences and paragraphs can make the difference between a not-so-great document
and a really effective paper or e-mail message.
In your first round of revision (◀◀ p. 60), when you focus on content and clarity, you’ll add, expand,
modify, and perhaps delete sentences and paragraphs. In the second round of revision, as you focus
on organization and layout, you change the order of sentences and paragraphs to make them flow
better or to put earliest the reader benefit (◀◀ p. 112) that will appeal to most readers. The third round
of revision focuses on sentences and paragraphs, as you improve style and tone. In editing, you’ll
again check sentences, this time for grammatical corrections (◀◀ Module 14).
LO 16-1 Define good style in business messages.
LO 16-2 Demonstrate appropriate tone in business messages.
LO 16-3 Differentiate rules from writing habits and conventions.
LO 16-4 Apply strategies for sentence revision.
LO 16-5 Apply strategies for paragraph revision.
LO 16-6 Synthesize style with organizational culture.
Module 16 will help you to make sentences and paragraphs even better. After completing the module,
you should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 16
Module
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 271loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 271 12/27/12 8:41 PM12/27/12 8:41 PM
Confirming pages
272 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
What is “good” style? LO 16-1
▶ It’s both businesslike and friendly.
Good business and administrative writing sounds like a person talking to another person.
Unfortunately, much of the writing produced in organizations today seems to have been
written by faceless bureaucrats rather than by real people.
The style of writing that has traditionally earned high marks in college essays and
term papers is arguably more formal than good business and administrative writing.
(See Figure 16.1 .) However, many professors also like term papers that are easy to read
and use good visual impact.
Most people have several styles of talking, which they vary instinctively depending on
the audience. Good writers have several styles, too. A memo to your boss complaining
about the delays from a supplier will be informal, perhaps even chatty; a letter to the sup-
plier demanding better service will be more formal.
Keep the following points in mind as you choose a level of formality for a specific
document:
• Use a friendly, informal style for someone you’ve talked with.
• Avoid contractions, slang, and even minor grammatical lapses in paper documents to
people you don’t know. Abbreviations are OK in e-mail messages if they’re part of the
group’s culture.
• Pay particular attention to your style when you have to write uncomfortable messages:
when you write to people you fear or when you must give bad news. Reliance on nouns
rather than on verbs and a general deadening of style increase when people are under
stress or feel insecure. 1 Confident people are more direct. Edit your writing so that you
sound confident, whether you feel that way or not.
Good business style allows for individual variation. Depending on the audience and
situation, humor may be acceptable.
An arrogant style often
backfires. A college
student’s summer job
application circulated
to Nomura, Goldman
Sachs, Morgan Stanley,
PricewaterhouseCoopers, and
others. At heart was the hubris
of the writer, who boasted
about sometimes irrelevant
accomplishments even as
job seekers scrambled to find
work: “I am unequivocally
the most unflaggingly hard
worker I know, and I love self-
improvement. I have always
felt that my time should be
spent wisely, so I continuously
challenge myself . . . I decided
to redouble my effort by
placing out of two classes,
taking two honors classes,
and hold two part-time jobs.
That semester I achieved a
3.93, and in the same time
I managed to bench double
my bodyweight and do 35
pull-ups.”
Figure 16.1 Different Levels of Style
Feature Conversational Style Good Business Style Traditional Term Paper Style
Formality Highly informal Conversational; sounds like a real
person talking
More formal than conversation would
be, but retains a human voice
Use of contractions Many contractions OK to use occasional contractions Few contractions, if any
Pronouns Uses I, first- and second-
person pronouns
Uses I, first- and second-person
pronouns
First- and second-person pronouns
kept to a minimum
Level of friendliness Friendly Friendly No effort to make style friendly
How personal Personal; refers to
specific circumstances of
conversation
Personal; may refer to reader
by name; refers to specific
circumstances of readers
Impersonal; may generally refer to
readers but does not name them or
refer to their circumstances
Word choice Short, simple words; slang Short, simple words but avoids slang Many abstract words; scholarly,
technical terms
Sentence and
paragraph length
Incomplete sentences; no
paragraphs
Short sentences and paragraphs Sentences and paragraphs usually
long
Grammar Can be ungrammatical Uses standard edited English Uses standard edited English
Visual impact Not applicable Attention to visual impact of
document
No particular attention to visual
impact
(continued)
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 272loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 272 12/27/12 8:41 PM12/27/12 8:41 PM
Confirming pages
273
Business writing should be businesslike and friendly. But
what exactly does it mean to be “friendly”? Well, it depends.
It depends on whom you’re dealing with, the culture of your
workplace, and even the part of the country where you work.
In the past 50 years, social distance in the United States has
decreased. In many, perhaps most, workplaces, most people call
each other by their first names, whatever their age or rank. But
even in cultures that pride themselves on their egalitarianism, dif-
ferences in status do exist. When you’re a newcomer in an orga-
nization, when you’re a younger person speaking to someone
older, or when you’re a subordinate speaking to a superior, you’re
wise to show your awareness of status in the tone you use.
Tone (◀◀ p. 106) is the implied attitude of the speaker or writer toward what the words say. We’re usually experts on tone
of voice, especially the tones of other people’s voices who don’t
seem to respect us. But sometimes it’s harder for us to hear the
lack of respect in our own voices as we talk or write to others.
If you’re the boss, it’s probably OK to e-mail your subordi-
nates, “Let me know when you’re free next week for a meeting.”
But if you’re a subordinate trying to line up people on your own
level or higher up, politeness pays: “Would you be able to meet
next week? Could you let me know what times you have free?”
The difficulty, of course, is that norms for politeness, like
those for friendliness, can differ from organization to organi-
zation, from group to group, and even in different parts of the
country and of the world (◀◀ p. 107). Furthermore, the same words that seem polite and friendly coming from a superior to
a subordinate can seem pushy or arrogant coming from a sub-
ordinate to a superior. “Keep up the good work!” is fine coming
from your boss. It isn’t, however, something you would say to your boss.
As in other communication situations, you have to analyze
the situation rhetorically. Who are your audiences (◀◀ p. 20)? What are your purposes? How do other people in the organiza-
tion talk and write? What kind of response do you get? If a cus-
tomer winces when you return her credit card and say, “Have
a nice day, Mary,” maybe she doesn’t appreciate being called
by her first name. Talk to your peers in the organization about
communication. What seems to work? What doesn’t? And talk
to a superior you trust. How do you come across? If you’re cre-
ating the image you want to create, good. But if people think
that you’re rude, stuck-up, or arrogant, they may be reacting to
your tone. A tone that worked for you in some situations in the
past may need to be changed if you’re to be effective in a new
workplace or a new organization.
Building a Critical Skill
Using the Right Tone LO 16-2
Are there rules I should follow? LO 16-3
▶ Most “rules” are really guidelines.
Some “rules” are grammatical conventions. For example, standard edited English
requires that each sentence has a subject and verb and that they agree. Business writ-
ing normally demands standard grammar, but exceptions exist. Promotional materials
such as brochures, advertisements, and sales and fund-raising letters may use sentence
fragments to gain the effect of speech.
Dr. Johnnetta B. Cole was president of Bennett College for Women
and now chairs the college’s Johnnetta B. Cole Global Diversity &
Inclusion Institute. Part of her success comes from matching her tone
to her audience and the situation. A “force of nature,” as peer Antonia
Hernandez describes her, Dr. Cole has a demeanor that is “dignified
but down to earth.” She is pictured here with students Lauren Chanel
Thomas, Alissa Johnson, and Ashley Shanelle Cobb.
Sources: “Dr. Johnnetta B. Cole, Keynote Speaker for the 2012 WCTF Conference,” downloaded on July 28, 2012, at http://www.cew.umich.edu/ dr-johnnetta-b-cole-keynote-speaker-2012-wctf-conference; and C. Stone Brown, “‘Sister’ Chair of the Board,” Diversity Inc., February 2006.
Source: Eric Platt, “How a Tenacious Summer Analyst
Applicant Got Laughed at by
Goldman, Moran, and Everyone
Else on Wall Street,” February 9,
2012, http://finance.yahoo.com/
news/tenacious-summer-analyst-
applicant-got-laughed-at-by-
everyone-else-on-wall-street.html.
(continued)
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 273loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 273 12/27/12 8:41 PM12/27/12 8:41 PM
Confirming pages
274 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Other “rules” may be conventions adopted by an organization so that its documents will
be consistent. For example, a company might decide to capitalize job titles (Production Manager), even though grammar doesn’t require the capitals, or always to use a comma before and in a series, even though a sentence can be grammatical without the comma. A different company might make different choices.
Still other “rules” are attempts to codify “what sounds good.” “Never use I ” and “use big words” are examples of this kind of “rule.” These “rules” are half-truths and must be applied
selectively, if at all. Think about your audience (◀◀ p. 20), the discourse community (◀◀ p. 28), your purposes, and the situation. If you want the effect produced by an impersonal style and
polysyllabic words, use them. But use them only when you want the distancing they produce.
To improve your style,
• Get a clean page or screen, so that you aren’t locked into old sentence structures.
• Try WIRMI: W hat I R eally M ean I s. 2 Then write the words. • Try reading your draft out loud to someone sitting at a comfortable personal distance.
If the words sound stiff, they’ll seem stiff to a reader, too.
• Ask someone else to read your draft out loud. Readers stumble because the words on
the page aren’t what they expect to see. The places where that person stumbles are
places where your writing can be better.
• Read widely and write a lot. • Use the eight techniques in the next two sections.
What should I look for when I revise sentences? LO 16-4
▶ Try these six techniques.
At the sentence level, six kinds of revisions will help make your writing easy to read.
1. Use Active Verbs Most of the Time
“Who does what” sentences with active verbs make your writing more forceful.
A verb is active if the grammatical subject of the sentence does the action the verb describes. A verb is passive if the subject is acted upon. Passives are usually made up of a form of the verb to be plus a past participle. Passive has nothing to do with past. Passives can be past, present, or future:
were received (in the past)
is recommended (in the present)
will be implemented (in the future)
To spot a passive, find the verb. If the verb describes something that the grammatical
subject is doing, the verb is active. If the verb describes something that is being done to the
grammatical subject, the verb is passive.
Active Passive
The customer received 500 Five hundred widgets were received
widgets. by the customer.
I recommend this method. This method is recommended by me.
The state agencies will implement The program will be implemented
the program. by the state agencies.
Verbs can be changed from active to passive by making the direct object (in the
oval) the new subject (in the box). To change a passive verb to an active one, you must
A warning label on a small
tractor, “Danger: Avoid
Death,” was the winner of the
11th annual Wacky Warning
Label Contest. Other winners
included an iron-on T-shirt
transfer with “Do not iron
while wearing shirt” and a
baby stroller with a storage
pouch that states, “Do not
put child in bag.” In 2009, the
winner was for the Off-Rode
Commode, a toilet seat that
attaches to a trailer hitch: “Not
for use on moving vehicles.”
2012’s winners included a
label that came with seven-
inch decorative globes—“The
globes should not be referred
to for navigation”—and a
warning on an electric razor—
“Never use while sleeping.”
Sources: Ron Vample, “‘Danger: Avoid Death’ Contest Winner,”
December 12, 2007, downloaded
at http://news.yahoo.com/s/
ap/ 20071212/ap_on_fe_st/
odd_ wacky_warnings ; Thomas
McAdam, “Wacky Warning
Label Contest Winner,” The
Chicago Examiner, June 16,
2009, http://www.examiner.
com/x-3747-Louisville-City-Hall-
Examiner~y2009m6d16-Wacky-
warning-label-contest-winner ; and
“‘15th Annual Wacky Warning
Labels’ Contest: Winners Selected!”
June 18, 2012, www.prnewswire.
com/news-releases/15th-annual-
wacky-warning-labels-contest-2012-
winners-selected-159430055.html .
Site to See
Go to
www.larseighner.com/work shop/faq/qa050162.html
Lars Eighner explains how to
think of better verbs.
Go to
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 274loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 274 12/27/12 8:41 PM12/27/12 8:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 275
make the agent (“by_____ ” in < > ) the new subject. If no agent is specified in the
sentence, you must supply one to make the sentence active.
Active Passive
The plant manager approved The request was approved by the
the request. <plant manager>.
The committee will decide A decision will be made
next month. next month. No agent in sentence.
[You] send the customer a letter A letter will be sent informing the
informing her about the change. customer of the change. No agent
in sentence.
If the sentence does not have a direct object in its active form, no passive equivalent exists.
Active No Passive Exists
I would like to go to the conference.
The freight charge will be about $1,400.
The phone rang.
Passive verbs have at least three disadvantages:
1. If all the information in the original sentence is retained, passive verbs make the
sentence longer. Passives take more time to understand. 3
2. If the agent is omitted, it’s not clear who is responsible for doing the action.
3. When many passive verbs are used, or when passives are used in material that has a lot
of big words, the writing can be boring and pompous.
Passive verbs are desirable in these situations:
• Use passives to emphasize the object receiving the action, not the agent.
Your order was shipped November 15.
The customer’s order, not the shipping clerk, is important.
• Use passives to provide coherence within a paragraph. A sentence is easier to read if
“old” information comes at the beginning of a sentence. When you have been discussing
a topic, use the word again as your subject even if that requires a passive verb.
The bank made several risky loans in the late 1990s. These loans were written off as
“uncollectible” in 2004.
Using loans as the subject of the second sentence provides a link between the two sentences, making the paragraph as a whole easier to read.
• Use passives to avoid assigning blame.
The order was damaged during shipment.
An active verb would require the writer to specify who damaged the order. The passive here is more tactful.
2. Use Verbs to Carry the Weight of Your Sentence
Put the weight of your sentence in the verb. When the verb is a form of the verb to be, revise the sentence to use a more forceful verb.
Weak: The financial advantage of owning this equipment instead of leasing it is 10% after taxes. Better: Owning this equipment rather than leasing it will save us 10% after taxes.
Revision helps to avoid
problems, so review
documents carefully. ESPN
apologized for using a
racial slur in a headline
critiquing the performance
of basketball sensation
Jeremy Lin. While the term
has additional meanings,
its racial connotation was
obvious to readers. Olympian
Lolo Jones tweeted from the
2012 Summer Games that
Americans should do well in
“da gun shooting competition.”
The comment may have
seemed less insensitive had
it not followed on the heels
of a deadly mass shooting
in Colorado that made world
headlines barely a week
before. Look beyond words,
too. An online ad for French
clothier La Redoute was
taken down after audiences
noticed the nude man in the
background of a beach scene.
Even though many French
people are comfortable with
nudity on public beaches, they
were appalled to see it in an ad
selling clothes to children.
Sources: “EPSN Sorry for Offensive Headline on Lin Story,” The
Seattle Times, February 18, 2012,
http://seattletimes.nwsource.
com/html/sports/2017540845_
apbknknickslinheadline.html ;
Chris Chase, “Lolo Jones Thinks
Americans Should Do Well in ‘Da
Gun Shooting Competition,” July
28, 2012, http://sports.yahoo.com/
blogs/olympics-fourth-place-medal/
lolo-jones-thinks-americans-well-
da-gun-shooting-181436042—oly.
html ; and Piper Weiss, “The
NSFW Kid’s Clothing Ad: French
Fashion Company’s Major Faux
Pas,” January 6, 2012, http://
shine.yahoo.com/fashion/nsfw-
kids-clothing-ad-french-fashion-
companys-major-174800986.html .
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 275loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 275 12/27/12 8:41 PM12/27/12 8:41 PM
Confirming pages
276 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Nouns ending in -ment, -ion, and -al often hide verbs.
make an adjustment adjust
make a payment pay
make a decision decide
reach a conclusion conclude
take into consideration consider
make a referral refer
provide assistance assist
Use verbs to present the information more forcefully.
Weak: We will perform an investigation of the problem. Better: We will investigate the problem. Weak: Selection of a program should be based on the client’s needs. Better: Select the program that best fits the client’s needs.
3. Tighten Your Writing
Writing is wordy if the same idea can be expressed in fewer words. Unnecessary words increase typing time, bore your reader, and make your meaning more difficult to follow, since
the reader must hold all the extra words in mind while trying to understand your meaning.
Good writing is tight. Tight writing may be long because it is packed with ideas. In
Modules 6–8, we saw that revisions to create you-attitude and positive emphasis and to
develop reader benefits were frequently longer than the originals because the revision added information not given in the original.
Sometimes you may be able to look at a draft and see immediately how to tighten it.
When wordiness isn’t obvious, try the following strategies for tightening your writing.
a. Eliminate words that say nothing.
b. Use gerunds (the - ing form of verbs) and infinitives (the to form of verbs) to make sentences shorter and smoother.
c. Combine sentences to eliminate unnecessary words.
d. Put the meaning of your sentence into the subject and verb to cut the number of words.
The purpose of eliminating unnecessary words is to save the reader’s time, not simply to see
how few words you can use. You aren’t writing a telegram, so keep the little words that make
sentences complete. (Incomplete sentences are fine in lists where all the items are incomplete.)
The following examples show how to use these methods.
a. Eliminate Words that Say Nothing
Cut words that are already clear from other words in the sentence. Substitute single words
for wordy phrases.
Wordy: Keep this information on file for future reference. Tighter: Keep this information for reference. or: File this information. Wordy: Ideally, it would be best to put the billing ticket just below the screen and above the
keyboard.
Tighter: If possible, put the billing ticket between the screen and the keyboard.
Phrases beginning with of, which, and that can often be shortened.
Wordy: the question of most importance Tighter: the most important question Wordy: the estimate which is enclosed Tighter: the enclosed estimate
Sentences beginning with There are or It is can often be tighter.
Wordy: There are three reasons for the success of the project. Tighter: Three reasons explain the project’s success.
Better verbs make sentences
more forceful and up to 25%
easier to read.
Sources: E. B. Coleman, “The Comprehensibility of Several
Grammatical Transformations,”
Journal of Applied Psychology
48, no. 3 (1964): 186–90; and
Keith Raynor, “Visual Attention in
Reading: Eye Movements Reflect
Cognitive Processes,” Memory and
Cognition 5 (1977): 443–48.
Instant Replay
Ways to Improve Style
• Get a clean page or screen.
• Try WIRMI: W hat I R eally
M ean I s.
• Read your draft out loud
to someone sitting at a
comfortable personal
distance.
• Ask someone else to read
your draft out loud. Revise
passages where readers
stumble.
• Read widely and write a lot.
I R
Ways to Imp
Instant Replay
Active and Passive Verbs
If the verb describes something
that the grammatical subject
is doing, the verb is active. If
the verb describes something
that is being done to the
grammatical subject, the verb
is passive.
I R
Active and P
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 276loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 276 12/27/12 8:41 PM12/27/12 8:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 277
Wordy: It is the case that college graduates advance more quickly in the company. Tighter: College graduates advance more quickly in the company.
Check your draft. If you find unnecessary words, eliminate them.
b. Use Gerunds and Infinitives to Make Sentences Shorter and Smoother
A gerund is the - ing form of a verb; grammatically, it is a verb used as a noun. In the sentence, “Running is my favorite activity,” running is the subject of the sentence. An infinitive is the form of the verb which is preceded by to: to run is the infinitive.
In the revision below, a gerund (purchasing) and an infinitive (to transmit) tighten the revision.
Wordy: A plant suggestion has been made where they would purchase a fax machine for the pur- pose of transmitting test reports between plants.
Tighter: The plant suggests purchasing a fax machine to transmit test reports between plants.
Even when gerunds and infinitives do not greatly affect length, they often make sen-
tences smoother and more conversational.
c. Combine Sentences to Eliminate Unnecessary Words
In addition to saving words, combining sentences focuses the reader’s attention on key
points, makes your writing sound more sophisticated, and sharpens the relationship
between ideas, thus making your writing more coherent.
Wordy: I conducted this survey by telephone on Sunday, April 21. I questioned two groups of juniors and seniors—male and female—who, according to the Student Directory, were
still living in the dorms. The purpose of this survey was to find out why some juniors
and seniors continue to live in the dorms even though they are no longer required by the
university to do so. I also wanted to find out if there were any differences between male
and female juniors and seniors in their reasons for choosing to remain in the dorms.
Tighter: On Sunday, April 21, I phoned male and female juniors and seniors living in the dorms to find out (1) why they continue to live in the dorms even though they are no longer required
to do so, and (2) whether men and women had the same reasons for staying in the dorms.
d. Put the Meaning of Your Sentence into the Subject and Verb to Cut the Number of Words
Put the core of your meaning into the subject and verb of your main clause. Think about
what you mean and try saying the same thing in several different ways. Some alternatives will be tighter than others. Choose the tightest one.
Wordy: The reason we are recommending the computerization of this process is because it will reduce the time required to obtain data and will give us more accurate data.
Better: We are recommending the computerization of this process because it will save time and give us more accurate data.
Tight: Computerizing the process will give us more accurate data more quickly. Wordy: The purpose of this letter is to indicate that if we are unable to mutually benefit from our
seller/buyer relationship, with satisfactory material and satisfactory payment, then we
have no alternative other than to sever the relationship. In other words, unless the account
is handled in 45 days, we will have to change our terms to a permanent COD basis.
Better: A good buyer/seller relationship depends upon satisfactory material and satisfactory pay- ment. You can continue to charge your purchases from us only if you clear your present
balance in 45 days.
4. Vary Sentence Length and Sentence Structure
Readable prose mixes sentence lengths and varies sentence structure. Most sentences
should be 20 words or fewer. A really short sentence (under 10 words) can add punch to
your prose. Really long sentences (over 30 or 40 words) are danger signs.
You can vary sentence patterns in several ways. First, you can mix simple, compound,
and complex sentences. Simple sentences have one main clause:
We will open a new store this month.
LinkedIn’s Nicole Williams
notes that buzzwords like
“creative” and “dynamic”
are among the most-used
buzzwords on the social
networking site, making it
harder for potential employers
to see what makes a person
stand out from the crowd. “It’s
okay to use some common
language,” Williams says, “but
if everyone is ‘creative,’ the
word becomes null and void.”
She recommends showing
creativity rather than simply
using the word. Other common
buzzwords on the site include
“track record” and “extensive
experience.”
Source: Diane Stafford, “Buzzwords Won’t Motivate
Hirers,” The Columbus Dispatch,
December 25, 2011, http://www.
dispatch.com/content/stories/
business/2011/12/25/buzzwords-
wont-motivate-hirers.html .
Instant Replay
Wordiness
Writing is wordy if the same idea can be expressed in fewer
words.
I R
Wordiness
Site to See
Go to
www.bartleby.com/141/ index.html
for the online version of Strunk
and White’s classic Elements
of Style.
Go to
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 277loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 277 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
278 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Compound sentences have two main clauses joined with and, but, or, or another conjunc- tion. Compound sentences work best when the ideas in the two clauses are closely related.
We have hired staff, and they will complete their training next week.
We wanted to have a local radio station broadcast from the store during its grand opening, but
the DJs were already booked.
Complex sentences have one main and one subordinate clause; they are good for showing logical relationships.
When the stores open, we will have balloons and specials in every department.
Because we already have a strong customer base in the northwest, we expect the new store to
be just as successful as the store in the City Center Mall.
You can also vary sentences by changing the order of elements. Normally, the subject
comes first.
We will survey customers later in the year to see whether demand warrants a third store on campus.
To create variety, occasionally begin the sentence with some other part of the sentence.
Later in the year, we will survey customers to see whether demand warrants a third store
on campus.
To see whether demand warrants a third store on campus, we will survey customers later in
the year.
Use these guidelines for sentence length and structure:
• Always edit sentences for tightness. Even a 10-word sentence can be wordy.
• When your subject matter is complicated or full of numbers, make a special effort to
keep sentences short.
• Use long sentences
To show how ideas are linked to each other.
To avoid a series of short, choppy sentences.
To reduce repetition.
• Group the words in long and medium-length sentences into chunks that the reader can
process quickly. 4
• When you use a long sentence, keep the subject and verb close together.
Let’s see how to apply the last three principles.
Use Long Sentences to Show How Ideas Are Linked to Each Other, to Avoid a Series of Short, Choppy Sentences, and to Reduce Repetition
The following sentence is hard to read not simply because it is long but also because it is
shapeless. Just cutting it into a series of short, choppy sentences doesn’t help. The best
revision uses medium-length sentences to show the relationship between ideas.
Too long: It should also be noted in the historical patterns presented in the summary that though there were delays in January and February which we realized were occurring, we are
now back where we were about a year ago, and that we are not off line in our collect
receivables as compared to last year at this time, but we do show a considerable over-
budget figure because of an ultraconservative goal on the receivable investment.
Choppy: There were delays in January and February. We knew about them at the time. We are now back where we were about a year ago. The summary shows this. Our present collect
receivables are in line with last year’s. However, they exceed the budget. The reason they
exceed the budget is that our goal for receivable investment was very conservative.
Better: As the summary shows, although there were delays in January and February (of which we were aware), we have now regained our position of a year ago. Our present collect
receivables are in line with last year’s, but they exceed the budget because our goal for
receivable investment was very conservative.
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 278loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 278 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 279
Group the Words in Long and Medium-Length Sentences into Chunks
The “better” revision above has seven chunks. In the following list, the chunks starting
immediately after the numbers are main clauses. The chunks that are indented are subordi-
nate clauses and parenthetical phrases.
1. As the summary shows,
2. although there were delays in January and February
3. (of which we were aware),
4. we have now regained our position of a year ago.
5. Our present collect receivables are in line with last year’s,
6. but they exceed the budget
7. because our goal for receivable investment was very conservative.
The first sentence has four chunks: an introductory phrase (1), a subordinate clause
(2) with a parenthetical phrase (3), followed by the main clause of the first sentence (4).
The second sentence begins with a main clause (5). The sentence’s second main clause (6)
is introduced with but, showing that it will reverse the first clause. A subordinate clause explaining the reason for the reversal completes the sentence (7). At 27 and 24 words,
respectively, these sentences aren’t short, but they’re readable because no chunk is longer
than 10 words.
Any sentence pattern will get boring if it is repeated sentence after sentence. Use dif-
ferent sentence patterns—different kinds and lengths of chunks—to keep your prose
interesting.
Keep the Subject and Verb Close Together
Often, you can move the subject and verb closer together if you put the modifying mate-
rial in a list at the end of the sentence. For maximum readability, present the list vertically.
Hard to read: Movements resulting from termination, layoffs and leaves, recalls and reinstates, transfers in, transfers out, promotions in, promotions out, and promotions within
are presently documented through the Payroll Authorization Form.
Smoother: The following movements are documented on the Payroll Authorization Form: termination, layoffs and leaves, recalls and reinstates, transfers in and out, and
promotions in, out, and within.
Still better: The following movements are documented on the Payroll Authorization Form: • Termination.
• Layoffs and leaves.
• Recalls and reinstates.
• Transfers in and out.
• Promotions in, out, and within.
Energy and enthusiasm are good. Add standard grammar and accuracy to create good sentences.
By permission of Rick Detorie and Creators Syndicate, Inc.
Instant Replay
Sentence Length and
Sentence Structure
Readable prose mixes
sentence lengths and varies
sentence structure. Most
sentences should be 20 words
or fewer.
I R
Sentence Le
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 279loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 279 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
280 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Sometimes you will need to change the verb and revise the word order to put the modifying
material at the end of the sentence.
Hard to read: The size sequence code that is currently used for sorting the items in the NOSROP lists and the composite stock list is not part of the online file.
Smoother: The online file does not contain the size sequence code that is currently used for sorting the items in the composite stock lists and the NOSROP lists.
5. Use Parallel Structure
Words or ideas that share the same logical role in your sentence must also be in the
same grammatical form. Parallelism is also a powerful device for making your writing
smoother and more forceful. (See Figure 16.2 .) Note the parallel portions in the following
examples.
Faulty: I interviewed juniors and seniors and athletes. Parallel: I interviewed juniors and seniors. In each rank, I interviewed athletes and
nonathletes.
Faulty: Errors can be checked by reviewing the daily exception report or note the number of errors you uncover when you match the lading copy with the file copy of the
invoice.
Parallel: Errors can be checked by reviewing the daily exception report or by noting the number of errors you uncover when you match the lading copy with the file copy
of the invoice.
Also Parallel: To check errors, note 1. The number of items on the daily exception report.
2. The number of errors discovered when the lading copy and the file copy are
matched.
Note that a list in parallel structure must fit grammatically into the umbrella sentence that
introduces the list.
Eliminate repeated words in parallel lists. (See Figure 16.3 .)
Faulty Parallel
Figure 16.2 Use Parallelism
to Tighten Your Writing
Figure 16.3 Eliminate
Repeated Words in Parallel
Lists
Wordy Tight
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 280loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 280 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 281
6. Put Your Readers in Your Sentences
Use second-person pronouns (you) rather than third-person (he, she, one) to give your writ- ing more impact. You is both singular and plural; it can refer to a single person or to every member of your organization.
Third-person: Funds in a participating employee’s account at the end of each six months will automatically be used to buy more stock unless a “Notice of Election Not to Exer-
cise Purchase Rights” form is received from the employee.
Second-person: Once you begin to participate, funds in your account at the end of each six months will automatically be used to buy more stock unless you turn in a “Notice of Elec-
tion Not to Exercise Purchase Rights” form.
Be careful to use you only when it refers to your reader.
Incorrect: My visit with the outside sales rep showed me that your schedule can change quickly.
Correct: My visit with the outside sales rep showed me that schedules can change quickly.
What should I look for when I revise paragraphs? LO 16-5
▶ Check for topic sentences and transitions.
Paragraphs are visual and logical units. Use them to chunk your sentences.
1. Begin Most Paragraphs with Topic Sentences
A good paragraph has unity; that is, it discusses only one idea, or topic. The topic sentence states the main idea and provides a scaffold to structure your document. Topic sentences
are not essential, but your writing will be easier to read if you make the topic sentence
explicit and put it at the beginning of the paragraph. 5
Hard to read (no topic sentence):
In fiscal 2003, the company filed claims for a refund of federal income taxes of
$3,199,000 and interest of $969,000 paid as a result of an examination of the compa-
ny’s federal income tax returns by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) for the years
1999 through 2002. It is uncertain what amount, if any, may ultimately be recovered.
Better (paragraph starts with topic sentence):
The company and the IRS disagree about whether the company is liable for back
taxes. In fiscal 2003, the company filed claims for a refund of federal income taxes
of $3,199,000 and interest of $969,000 paid as a result of an examination of the com-
pany’s federal income tax returns by the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) for the years
1999 through 2002. It is uncertain what amount, if any, may ultimately be recovered.
The best topic sentences have
a you-attitude. They reflect the
reader’s interests and feelings.
If you are selling an idea to
management, this means your
topic sentences will emphasize
the business benefits of your
idea. Managers will want to
know whether your idea will
add to sales or cut costs. The
details following your topic
sentence should tell how
your idea will provide these
benefits. If possible, test your
idea ahead of time, so you can
back up your statement with
facts, not just opinions.
If you are selling an idea
to employees, each topic
sentence should focus on
benefits to them. For example,
if you are writing about a
new computer system, the
order clerk will want to know
how it will make the work
easier or improve his or her
performance. The clerk is less
interested in financial statistics
like inventory turnover and
gross profits.
The same principles apply
to answering objections. If
an employee objects to a
change by saying, “I’ve never
done that before,” a wise
supervisor might reply, “Exactly.
It’s an opportunity to gain
experience.”
Source: Based on Ted Pollock, “How to Sell an Idea,” Supervision,
June 2003, downloaded from
Infotrac at http://web2.infotrac.
galegroup.com . A good topic sentence forecasts the structure and content of the paragraph.
Plan B also has economic advantages.
(Prepares the reader for a discussion of B’s economic advantages.)
We had several personnel changes in June.
(Prepares the reader for a list of the month’s terminations and hires.)
Employees have complained about one part of our new policy on parental leaves.
(Prepares the reader for a discussion of the problem.)
When the first sentence of a paragraph is not the topic sentence, readers who skim may
miss the main point. Move the topic sentence to the beginning of the paragraph. If the
paragraph does not have a topic sentence, you will need to write one. If you can’t think of
a single sentence that serves as an “umbrella” to cover every sentence, the paragraph lacks
unity. To solve the problem, either split the paragraph into two, or eliminate the sentence
that digresses from the main point.
Organizations can choose
what is acceptable as content,
too. Facebook, for instance,
deleted venerable Chicago
Tribune film critic Roger Ebert’s
page. A controversial tweet
by Ebert ruminating about
(continued)
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 281loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 281 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
282 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
Figure 16.4 Transition Words and Phrases
To Show Addition or Continuation of the Same Idea and
also
first, second, third
in addition
likewise
similarly
To Introduce the Last or Most Important Item finally
furthermore
moreover
To Introduce an Example e.g.
for example
for instance
indeed
to illustrate
namely
specifically
To Contrast in contrast
on the other hand
or
To Show that the Contrast Is More Important than the Previous Idea but
however
nevertheless
on the contrary
To Show Cause and Effect as a result
because
consequently
for this reason
therefore
To Show Time after
as
before
in the future
next
then
until
when
while
To Summarize or End in conclusion
2. Use Transitions to Link Ideas
Transition words and sentences signal the connections between ideas to the reader. Transi-
tions tell whether the next sentence continues the previous thought or starts a new idea;
they can tell whether the idea that comes next is more or less important than the previous
thought. Figure 16.4 lists some of the most common transition words and phrases.
How does organizational culture affect style? LO 16-6
▶ Different cultures may prefer different styles.
Different organizations and bosses may legitimately have different ideas about what con-
stitutes good writing. If the style the company prefers seems reasonable, use it. If the style
doesn’t seem reasonable—if you work for someone who likes flowery language or wordy
paragraphs, for example—you have several choices.
• Use the techniques in this module. Sometimes seeing good writing changes people’s minds about the style they prefer.
• Help your boss learn about writing. Show him or her this book or the research cited in the notes to demonstrate how a clear, crisp style makes documents easier to read.
• Recognize that a style may serve other purposes than communication. An abstract, hard-to-read style may help a group forge its own identity. James Suchan and Ronald
Dulek have shown that Navy officers preferred a passive, impersonal style because
they saw themselves as followers. An aircraft company’s engineers saw wordiness as
the verbal equivalent of backup systems. A backup is redundant but essential to safety,
because parts and systems do fail. 6 When big words, jargon, and wordiness are central to
a group’s self-image, change will be difficult, since changing style will mean changing
the corporate culture.
• Ask. Often the documents that end up in files aren’t especially good. Later, other workers may find these documents and imitate them, thinking they represent a corporate
standard. Bosses may in fact prefer better writing.
Building a good style takes energy and effort, but it’s well worth the work. Good style
can make every document more effective; good style can help make you the good writer so
valuable to every organization.
Site to See
Go to
www.gray-area.org/ Research/Ambig/
for a collection of ambiguous
and often funny sentences
from ads, church bulletins, and
insurance forms. (Scroll down
past the long first page.)
how celebrity Ryan Dunn had
posted a photo of himself
drinking with friends an hour
before he was killed in a car
accident sparked vitriolic
debates on Ebert’s Facebook
page. Though Facebook later
apologized and said the page
had been removed in error, the
company had removed pages
before after people flagged
content as inappropriate.
Source: John Hudson, “Roger Ebert’s the Latest Victim of
Facebook’s Censorship Problem,”
The Atlantic Wire, June 21, 2011,
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/
technology/2011/06/roger-ebert-
just-latest-victim-facebooks-
censorship-problem/39087/ .
(continued)
Go to
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 282loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 282 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 283
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Good style in business and administrative writing is less formal,
more friendly, and more personal than the style usually used for
term papers. (LO 16-1) • A good tone is businesslike, friendly, and polite. (LO 16-2) • To create a good tone, analyze communication situations rhe-
torically: (LO 16-2) • Who are your audiences?
• What are your purposes?
• How do other people in the organization talk and write?
• What kind of response did you get?
• To improve your style, (LO 16-3) • Get a clean page or screen, so that you aren’t locked into old
sentence structures.
• Try WIRMI: W hat I R eally M ean I s. Then write the words. • Try reading your draft out loud to someone sitting at a com-
fortable personal distance. If the words sound stiff, they’ll
seem stiff to a reader, too.
• Ask someone else to read your draft out loud. Readers stum-
ble because the words on the page aren’t what they expect to
see. The places where that person stumbles are places where
your writing can be better.
• Write a lot.
• As you write and revise sentences, (LO 16-4) 1. Use active verbs most of the time. Active verbs are better
because they are shorter, clearer, and more interesting.
2. Use verbs to carry the weight of your sentence.
3. Tighten your writing. Writing is wordy if the same idea can be expressed in fewer words.
a. Eliminate words that say nothing.
b. Use gerunds and infinitives to make sentences shorter
and smoother.
c. Combine sentences to eliminate unnecessary words.
d. Put the meaning of your sentence into the subject and
verb to cut the number of words.
4. Vary sentence length and sentence structure.
5. Use parallel structure. Use the same grammatical form for
ideas that have the same logical function.
6. Put your readers in your sentences.
• As you write and revise paragraphs, (LO 16-5) 1. Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences so that readers
know what to expect in the paragraph.
2. Use transitions to link ideas.
• Different organizations and bosses may legitimately have
different ideas about what constitutes good writing. (LO 16-6)
Assignments for Module 16
16.1 What problems do passive verbs create? When are passive verbs desirable? (LO 16-4)
16.2 List two ways to tighten your writing. (LO 16-4)
16.3 What is parallel structure? (LO 16-4)
16.4 How do topic sentences help readers? (LO 16-5)
Questions for Comprehension
16.5 Would your other instructors like the style you’re learning to use in this class? (LO 16-1)
16.6 Can a long document be tight rather than wordy? (LO 16-1 to LO 16-3)
16.7 Ask a trusted friend or colleague how your tone comes across in classes and at work. If other people find you shy
on the one hand or arrogant on the other, what changes in
your tone could you make? (LO 16-2)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Identify the passive verbs in the following sentences and
convert them to active verbs. In some cases, you may need
to add information to do so. You may use different words
as long as you retain the basic meaning of the sentence.
Remember that imperative verbs are active, too.
1. The car was driven by Lloyd to the airport.
2. A phone call was made by Penelope to the home office.
3. Whenever possible, vacations should be taken by
employees during summer months.
4. When Deidre calls, she should be told to bring copies of
the annual report with her to the meeting.
5. A complete list of all of the attendees was compiled by
the Public Relations Office.
Exercises and Problems
16.8 Changing Verbs from Passive to Active (LO 16-4)
16.9 Using Better Verbs (LO 16-4) Revise each of the following sentences to use better verbs.
1. Many of our customers receive the benefits of being a
preferred member.
2. Employees who have more than nine months with the
company will start to accrue vacation time.
3. If Nabil stops by, do be sure to inquire if he plans to
participate in the “Race for the Cure” on Saturday.
4. There are a variety of important decisions to be consid-
ered carefully before making a purchase.
5. It is extremely doubtful that the sales figures will see an
improvement before the end of the quarter.
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 283loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 283 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
284 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
16.10 Reducing Wordiness (LO 16-4) 1. Eliminate words that say nothing. You may use different
words.
a. Employees who were just hired and are there-
fore defined as novice employees by the company
should take steps to ensure that they attend a man-
datory training session that is required of all novice
employees.
b. Bloomberg Businessweek magazine printed in its pages a very, very good magazine article on how
company executives who work at businesses are cur-
rently finding innovative and creative solutions to
problems that they encounter with regularity on the
job and in the workplace these days.
c. Employees who come to work on time and ready
to work are generally viewed as more professional
than employees who don’t come to work on time
and are not ready to work. Employees who don’t
come to work on time and are not ready to work
are often seen as unprofessional, which means
that they are less professional than other employ-
ees. Professional employees are more likely to be
hired, valued, and promoted than unprofessional
employees. Therefore, it’s better to be a profes-
sional employee rather than an unprofessional
employee.
2. Use gerunds and infinitives to make these sentences
shorter and smoother.
a. Customers who want participation in this month’s
online promotion may find a review of our preregis-
tration process helpful.
b. The production of better but cheaper goods often
makes a company more competitive in the sales of
merchandise in the marketplace.
c. Whitney said the receipt of company-paid medical
insurance is a benefit that many parents today are in
consideration of while engaged in the decision pro-
cess of the acceptance of a job offer.
3. Combine sentences to show how ideas are related and to
eliminate unnecessary words.
a. Michael supervises the archives department. Michael
also supervises the data processing department.
As supervisor of both departments, Michael has
responsibility for the company’s archiving and data
processing services and oversees 14 employees.
b. Our employees want our customers to have a positive
experience shopping in our store. Our employees are
trained to provide good customer service. Our cus-
tomers expect to have a positive experience shopping
in our store. Because both our employees and our cus-
tomers want the same thing, we have the highest cus-
tomer satisfaction rating of any store in the company.
c. The communications department plans to stop print-
ing the company newsletter and instead offer it on the
intranet. The format for the newsletter will be the same,
but instead of it being printed on paper, it will be avail-
able in electronic form. Employees may print a copy
of the newsletter or simply read it online. By ceasing
to print the newsletter on paper and instead offer it on
the intranet, the communications department expects
to save several thousand dollars each year.
16.11 Improving Parallel Structure (LO 16-4) Revise each of the following sentences to create parallelism.
1. The county will benefit from implementing flextime.
• Offices will stay open longer for more business.
• Staff turnover will be lower.
• Easier business communication with states in other
time zones.
• Increased employee productivity.
2. Newsletters enhance credibility, four times as many
people read them as read standard ad formats, and allow
soft-sell introduction to prospective customers.
3. When you leave a voice-mail message,
• Summarize your main point in a sentence or two.
• The name and phone number should be given slowly
and distinctly.
• The speaker should give enough information so the
recipient can act on the message.
• Tell when you’ll be available to receive the recipi-
ent’s return call.
16.12 Putting Readers in Your Sentences (LO 16-4) Revise each of the following sentences to put readers in
them. As you revise, use active verbs and simple words.
1. Proofreading a résumé carefully is vital to ensure that
typos are corrected.
2. Working beyond the expected 40 hours per week is
allowable, and overtime compensation will be received.
3. Annual self-reviews are to be completed by December
12, and meetings with managers are to be scheduled by
December 30.
4. Employee friends and family members may use the
company gym provided employees preregister them.
5. Staff may attend the training program provided staff
obtain permission from a supervisor.
16.13 Editing Sentences to Improve Style (LO 16-4) Revise these sentences to make them smoother, less wordy,
and easier to read. Eliminate jargon and repetition. Keep
the information; you may reword or reorganize it. If the
original is not clear, you may need to add information to
write a clear revision.
1. The report that was completed by the finance depart-
ment organizes essential information in a quite unsatis-
factory manner.
2. Few of our customers who are most valued seek to obtain
goods and services from another vendor, but we must
remain ever vigilant in the business environment to better
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 284loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 284 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs 285
ensure that these such customers continue in their loyal
efforts with our establishment.
3. Per your inquiry, Carla Meier is quite possibly the best
and finest member of our staff that we have every had
the distinct pleasure to have known and worked with.
4. Following are distinct reasons to retain your current
policy with Interstate Insurance:
• Convenient claims submissions.
• An agent who is fully prepared to help you to the fullest.
• web page.
5. Planning meetings will be held during next month at dif-
ferent dates and times. These meetings will help us to
plan for the upcoming conversion to a revised HR sys-
tem. Meeting times to devise the plan will be as follows:
May 3, 2–3 PM
May 10, 2–3 PM
May 17, 2–3 PM
16.14 Using Topic Sentences (LO 16-5) Make each of the following paragraphs more readable by
opening each paragraph with a topic sentence. You may be
able to find a topic sentence in the paragraph and move it
to the beginning. In other cases, you’ll need to write a new
sentence.
1. At Disney World, a lunch put on an expense account is
“on the mouse.” McDonald’s employees “have ketchup
in their veins.” Business slang flourishes at companies
with rich corporate cultures. Memos at Procter & Gam-
ble are called “reco’s” because the model P&G memo
begins with a recommendation.
2. The first item on the agenda is the hiring for the coming
year. George has also asked that we review the agency
goals for the next fiscal year. We should cover this early
in the meeting since it may affect our hiring preferences.
Finally, we need to announce the deadlines for grant
proposals, decide which grants to apply for, and set up a
committee to draft each proposal.
3. Separate materials that can be recycled from your regu-
lar trash. Pass along old clothing, toys, or appliances to
someone else who can use them. When you purchase
products, choose those with minimal packaging. If you
have a yard, put your yard waste and kitchen scraps
(excluding meat and fat) in a compost pile. You can
reduce the amount of solid waste your household pro-
duces in four ways.
16.15 Writing Paragraphs (LO 16-5) Write a paragraph on each of the following topics.
1. Discuss your ideal job.
2. Summarize a recent article from a business magazine or
newspaper.
3. Explain how technology is affecting the field you plan
to enter.
4. Explain why you have or have not decided to work
while you attend college.
5. Write a profile of someone who is successful in the field
you hope to enter.
As Your Instructor Directs,
1. Label topic sentences, active verbs, and parallel
structure.
2. Edit a classmate’s paragraphs to make the writing even
tighter and smoother.
Use commas in lists to separate items:
At the office supply store, I bought pens, stationery, and
three-ring binders.
Commas show distinctions between items in a list. Technically, the
comma before the coordinating conjunction, such as and or or, is optional, but the additional comma always adds clarity. Use com-
mas consistently throughout your document. Missing or improp-
erly placed commas confuse readers:
We bought the following items for the staff lounge: television
cabinet computer desk refrigerator and microwave oven.
Does television describe cabinet or is it a separate item? Is com- puter desk one item? Or are computer and desk two separate things? Inserting commas makes the distinction clear:
We bought the following items for the staff lounge:
television, cabinet, computer, desk, refrigerator, and
microwave oven.
Semicolons replace commas in lists where the items themselves
contain commas:
Our company has plants in Blue Ridge, Kentucky; Boise,
Idaho; and Saganaw, Michigan.
Exercises
Use commas to make these lists clearer.
1. The best years for our stock were 1995 2004 2010 and 2012.
2. Raises for directors supervisors and managers will be 2.3 2.5
and 2.2 percent, respectively.
Commas in Lists
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 285loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 285 25/01/13 9:51 PM25/01/13 9:51 PM
Confirming pages
286 Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
3. We’ve got enough time to tour three of the region’s cities, so
choose from Nome Alaska Dearborn Michigan Gary Indiana
Chicago Illinois or Lexington Kentucky.
4. David said that we need pens pencils erasers notepads folders
paperclips note cards and name tags for the strategic planning
retreat.
5. I can see that when Juan takes charge in April, we can expect
to see profit increases in May June July and August.
6. Sunny forwarded the itinerary for the trip: Xiua will be fly-
ing from 9 a.m. till 11:45 a.m. Thursday Alexis will be flying
from 10:15 a.m. till 11:25 a.m. on Friday and Jocelyn will be
flying from 1 p.m. till 2:35 p.m. on Saturday.
7. Because we only have enough money in the budget for one
attendee, we’ll have to select Eve Gail Dominic or Lynetta to go.
8. The guest list includes Rick Keri Meyer Tonee Calvin Esteban
Christopher Marguerite and Benjamin.
9. Our international division wants the board to tour Kyoto
Japan Beijing China Berne Switzerland Mainz Germany and
Toronto Canada.
10. So we are prepared for emergencies, the pool cars should have
flares gloves blankets warning signs tire pressure gauges por-
table air compressors and prepaid cell phones.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Unit 4 Cases for Communicators With the Best of Intentions
The State of Ohio paid a contractor to create and place a road sign
above a well-traveled stretch of northern interstate highway. The
problem is that the sign misspelled “north” in big white letters as
“NORHT.”
Though the contractor will replace the sign, the error was
reported in one of the region’s top newspapers, The Cleveland Plain Dealer, and picked up by news outlets around the country. Ohio, a state hit hard by the economic downturn of the past few
years, has sought to project a 21st-century image to attract business.
The typo doesn’t exactly communicate that message.
For now, the contractor has placed an overlay on the typo and
corrected the spelling. But the damage to the state’s image may be
harder to fix. State officials also want to know who approved the
sign, which could have proven a distracting safety hazard, before
it was placed. They also want to assure taxpayers that the state’s
beleaguered funds are being spent responsibly.
Individual Activity
Imagine you are the special assistant to the director of the Ohio
Department of Transportation (ODOT). Your task is to write a let-
ter to the entire department outlining why errors like these must be
prevented in the future.
In your letter, explain the importance of good writing, focusing
on editing and proofreading skills. Be sure to include at least three
specific points describing how poor writing can affect the percep-
tions of the writer and the validity of the document and how mis-
takes can have real consequences for people. Use examples of bad
writing for illustration.
As you draft, use WIRMI—What I Really Mean Is—to craft
your basic idea. When you’re finished, read the draft out loud.
Think about these questions as you polish your letter:
• Did I use active verbs most of the time?
• Did I use verbs to carry the weight of my sentences?
• Did I include any words that mean nothing or send the wrong
message?
• Can I tighten my writing by combining sentences or using ger-
unds and infinitives?
• Did I vary sentence length and structure?
• Did I use parallel structure?
• Did I begin most paragraphs with strong topic sentences?
• Did I use transitions to link ideas?
Be sure to carefully edit and proofread your final draft.
Group Activity
Note: To prepare for this group activity, print a new version of
your draft, omitting all punctuation and formatting. The end result
should be one block of text without any clear sentence or paragraph
structure. Then, divide the members of the group into pairs.
The ODOT director has asked to see a copy of the letter you
intend to send to the department. Unfortunately, your computer
crashes. You recover the document, but it lacks formatting and
punctuation. You are pressed for time, but you don’t want to give
your superior this draft.
Exchange your unformatted draft with you partner. Carefully
read through theirs. Using the correct proofreading marks, note
where the punctuation and paragraph breaks should go.
Before you return the draft to its author, ask yourself the
following questions:
• Did I use the correct proofreading marks?
• Does my edited version of the letter make sense and read
smoothly?
Give the edited version of the letter back to your partner. Examine
your own draft, now copyedited by your partner, and compare it to
your original version. As you do, ask yourself the following questions:
• How does the edited version compare to my draft?
• Are the sentence and paragraph breaks the same?
• Has the meaning or emphasis been changed?
• Did my partner identify any errors (e.g., word usage or punctua-
tion) in my draft?
Note all differences in meaning and structure that you find.
As a group, share your findings. Discuss the ways in which
grammar and punctuation affected meaning and structure. What
does this experience tell you about the importance of proper gram-
mar and punctuation in business documents?
Source: “Highway Sign for I-71 ‘Norht’ Will Be Replaced,” The Columbus Dispatch, June 8, 2011, http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/ stories/2011/06/08/ohio-highway-sign-misspelled.html?sid 5 101 .
loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 286loc03261_ch16_271-286.indd 286 12/27/12 8:42 PM12/27/12 8:42 PM
Confirming pages
Interpersonal Communication 5
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings
Module 17 Listening
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 287loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 287 12/26/12 7:44 PM12/26/12 7:44 PM
Confirming pages
288
Listening
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
L istening is the form of communication we practice most often. Yet because we rarely have formal
training in it, it may be the one that we do most poorly. Listening is even more crucial on the job
than it is in classes, but it may also be more difficult. Because people routinely listen—to voices, to
music, to nature—they can overestimate their skills, and the classroom experience is more structured
than many work situations.
LO 17-1 Explain good listening strategies for the workplace.
LO 17-2 Apply strategies for active listening.
LO 17-3 Apply techniques for acknowledgment responses.
LO 17-4 Recognize value in leadership through listening.
LO 17-5 Recognize value in active listening during disagreements.
Module 17 explores the crucial role of listening in business, sharing ways to enhance your own skills.
After completing the module, you should be able to
Module
17
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 288loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 288 12/26/12 7:44 PM12/26/12 7:44 PM
Confirming pages
Module 17 Listening 289
• In class you’re encouraged to take notes. But you can’t whip out a notepad every time
your boss speaks.
• Many classroom lectures are well organized, with signposts (▶▶ Module 20) and repetition of key points to help hearers follow. But conversations usually wander. A key
point about when a report is due may be sandwiched in among statements about other
due dates for other projects.
• In a classroom lecture, you’re listening primarily for information. In interchanges with
friends and co-workers, you need to listen for feelings, too. Feelings of being rejected
or overworked need to be dealt with as they arise. But you can’t deal with a feeling
unless you are aware of it.
As Module 2 explains (◀◀ p. 23), to receive a message, the receiver must first perceive the message, then decode it (that is, translate the symbols into meaning), and then interpret
it. In interpersonal communication, hearing denotes perceiving sounds. Listening means decoding and interpreting them correctly.
What do good listeners do? LO 17-1
▶ They consciously follow four practices.
Good listeners pay attention, focus on the other speaker(s) in a generous way rather than
on themselves, avoid making assumptions, and listen for feelings as well as for facts.
Pay Attention
Good listening requires energy. You have to resist distractions and tune out noise (◀◀ p. 24), whether the rumble of a truck going by or your own worry about whether your parking meter
is expiring.
Some listening errors happen because the hearer wasn’t paying enough attention to a
key point. After a meeting with a client, a consultant waited for the client to send her more
information that she would use to draft a formal proposal to do a job for the client. It turned
out that the client thought the next move was up to the consultant. The consultant and the
client had met together, but they hadn’t remembered the same facts.
To avoid listening errors caused by inattention,
• Before the meeting, anticipate the answers you need to get. Make a mental or paper list
of your questions. When is the project due? What resources do you have? What is the
most important aspect of this project from the other person’s point of view? During a
conversation, listen for answers to your questions.
• At the end of the conversation, check your understanding with the other person.
Especially check who does what next.
• After the conversation, write down key points that affect deadlines or how work will be
evaluated.
Polish your listening skills. You’ll need them on the job as well as in your personal life.
FRANK & ERNST: © Thaves/Dist. By United Feature Syndicate, Inc.
Psychologist Susan Krauss
Whitbourne wonders if
technology is affecting our
expectations for stimulation
while listening. She notes
that the average listener
traditionally requires a shift
in stimulation after about 20
minutes, but “with rapid-fire
messages coming everywhere
from Facebook to Twitter
to push notifications from
online games, many people
require a shift in stimulation
after perhaps as short as 20
seconds.” There’s even a name
for the blank expression when
not listening: screen-saver
face.
Source: Susan Krauss Whitbourne, “11 Ways That
Active Listening Can Help Your
Relationships,” Psychology
Today, March 13, 2012, http://
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/
fulfillment-any-age/201203/11-
ways-active-listening-can-help-
your-relationships .
Listening is a vital skill in foreign
language acquisition. The
University of Ottawa’s Larry
Vandergrift found that when
students learning French were
taught specific listening skills,
they “significantly outperformed”
the other classmates in
comprehension. The study’s
results were similar to that
of one in Singapore, where
Chinese students learning
English reported increased
motivation and confidence.
Source: Annie Murphy Paul, “The Power of Smart Listening,”
Time, December 7, 2011, http://
ideas.time.com/2011/12/07/
the-power-of-smart-listening/ .
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 289loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 289 12/26/12 7:44 PM12/26/12 7:44 PM
Confirming pages
290 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Focus on the Other Speaker(s) in a Generous Way
Some people listen looking for flaws. They may focus on factors other than the substance
of the talk: “What an ugly tie.” “She sounds like a little girl.” “There’s a typo in that slide.”
Or they may listen as if the discussion were a war, listening for points on which they can
attack the other speaker. “Ah hah! You’re wrong about that! ” Good listeners, in contrast, are more generous. They realize that people who are not pol-
ished speakers may nevertheless have something to say. Rather than pouncing on the first
error they hear and tuning out the speaker while they wait impatiently for their own turn to
speak, good listeners weigh all the evidence before they come to judgment. They realize
that they can learn something even from people they do not like.
To avoid listening errors caused by self-absorption,
• Focus on the substance of what the speaker says, not his or her appearance or
delivery.
• Spend your time evaluating what the speaker says, not just planning your rebuttal.
• Consciously work to learn something from every speaker.
Avoid Making Assumptions
Many listening errors come from making faulty assumptions. In 1977, when two Boeing
747 jumbo jets ran into each other on the ground in Tenerife, the pilots seem to have heard
the control tower’s instructions. The KLM pilot was told to taxi to the end of the runway,
turn around, and wait for clearance. But the KLM pilot assumed he didn’t need to follow
the order to wait. The Pan Am pilot assumed that his order to turn off at the “third intersec- tion” meant the third unblocked intersection. He didn’t count the first blocked ramp, so he was still on the main runway when the KLM pilot ran into his plane at 186 miles an hour.
The planes exploded in flames; 576 people died. 1
In contrast, asking questions can provide useful information. Magazine advertising
account representative Beverly Jameson received a phone call from an ad agency say-
ing that a client wanted to cancel the space it had bought. Jameson saw the problem
as an opportunity: “Instead of hearing ‘cancel,’ I heard, ‘There’s a problem here—let’s
get to the root of it and figure out how to make the client happy.” Jameson met with the
client, asked the right questions, and discovered that the client wanted more flexibility.
She changed some of the markets, kept the business, and turned the client into a repeat
customer. 2
To avoid listening errors caused by faulty assumptions,
• Don’t ignore instructions you think are unnecessary. Before you do something else,
check with the order giver to see if in fact there is a reason for the instruction.
• Consider the other person’s background and experiences. Why is this point important to
the speaker? What might he or she mean by it?
• Paraphrase what the speaker has said, giving him or her a chance to correct your
understanding.
Listen for Feelings as Well as Facts
Sometimes, someone just needs to blow off steam, to vent (▶▶ p. 302). Sometimes, people just want to have a chance to fully express themselves; “winning” or “losing”
may not matter. Sometimes, people may have objections that they can’t quite put into
words.
To avoid listening errors caused by focusing solely on facts,
• Consciously listen for feelings.
• Pay attention to tone of voice, facial expression, and body language (◀◀ p. 42). • Don’t assume that silence means consent. Invite the other person to speak.
Site to See
Go to
www.esl-lab.com
ESL/EFL speakers can
practice listening to English
conversations at Randall’s ESL
Cyber Listening Lab.
Most people speak at about 125
words per minute, even though
we can think at 400–600 words
per minute. This difference in
rates leaves plenty of opportunity
for us to be thinking when we
should be listening. Some of
us make matters worse by
exposing ourselves to dangerous
noise levels. For instance, a
study shows that two out of five
high school students surveyed
listen to MP3 players at volumes
that put them at risk for hearing
loss. At the highest volume, the
decibel level is comparable to
that of a jet taking off.
Sources: Paul J. Meyer, “Listening for the Total Message,” Success,
March 27, 2008, downloaded at
http://www.successmagazine.com/
Listening-for-the-Total-Message/
PARAMS/article/158/channel/211# ;
and Marianne Favro, “iPod Hearing
Loss Concerns: A Budding
Problem,” March 20, 2006,
downloaded at http://www.nbc11.
com/health/8150122/detail.html .
Go to
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 290loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 290 12/26/12 7:44 PM12/26/12 7:44 PM
Confirming pages
Module 17 Listening 291
What is active listening? LO 17-2
▶ Feeding back the literal meaning, the emotional content, or both.
In active listening, receivers actively demonstrate that they’ve heard and understood a speaker by feeding back either the literal meaning or the emotional content or both.
Other techniques in active listening are asking for more information and stating one’s own
feelings.
Five strategies create active responses:
• Paraphrase the content. Feed back the meaning in your own words. • Mirror the speaker’s feelings. Identify the feelings you think you hear. • State your own feelings. This strategy works especially well when you are angry. • Ask for information or clarification. • Offer to help solve the problem.
Instead of simply mirroring what the other person says, many of us immediately respond
in a way that analyzes or attempts to solve or dismiss the problem.
People with problems need first of all to know that we hear that they’re having a rough
time. Figure 17.1 lists some of the responses that block communication. Ordering and
interrogating tell the other person that the speaker doesn’t want to hear what he or she
has to say. Preaching attacks the other person. Minimizing the problem suggests that the
other person’s concern is misplaced. Even advising shuts off discussion. Giving a quick
answer minimizes the pain the person feels and puts him or her down for not seeing (what
is to us) the obvious answer. Even if it is a good answer from an objective point of view,
the other person may not be ready to hear it. And sometimes, the off-the-top-of-the-head
solution doesn’t address the real problem.
Active listening takes time and energy. Even people who are skilled active listeners
can’t do it all the time. Furthermore, as Thomas Gordon and Judith Gordon Sands point
out, active listening works only if you genuinely accept the other person’s ideas and feel-
ings. Active listening can reduce the conflict that results from miscommunication, but it
alone cannot reduce the conflict that comes when two people want apparently inconsistent
things or when one person wants to change someone else. 3
Research suggests innocent
people tend to be more
nervous under police
questioning than guilty ones.
With a rehearsed alibi in mind,
liars may appear composed. In
contrast, innocent people may
fidget, as well as provide up to
30% more detail—even if they
recall some facts incorrectly.
Source: Dina Temple-Raston, “Spotting Lies: Listen, Don’t Look,”
NPR, August 14, 2009, http://
www.npr.org/templates/story/story.
php?storyId 5 111809280 .
To make it clear that you’re
listening,
• Make eye contact with the
speaker.
• Don’t do unrelated
paperwork.
• Avoid body language (like
looking at your watch
or shuffling papers) that
suggests that you want the
conversation to end.
Source: William G. Pagonis, “Leadership in a Combat Zone,”
Harvard Business Review,
December 2001, 113.
Elizabeth Gonzalez-Gann founded
Jan-Co Janitorial and routinely
listens to input from family members,
many of whom are employees. She
is pictured here with partner and
brother, Fernando Gonzalez. Said
Monica Lozano, president and CEO
of La Opinion newspaper, Latina
entrepreneurs such as Gonzalez-Gann
may be “more collaborative, better
listeners, better organized, and more
strategic,” which partially accounts for
their growing success in traditionally
male-dominated fields. Gonzalez-
Gann’s current pursuits include the
Diet of Hope weight loss program.
Sources: Mark Fitzgerald, “Rompiendo Barreras,” American Demographics, November 2003; and “Migrant Worker Turned National Business Leader Shares Aspects of Success, Faith, Love,” downloaded on July 29, 2012, at http://blog.beliefnet.com/ palabrasquefortalecen/2011/09/migrant- worker-turned-national-business-leader- shares-aspects-of-success-faith-love.html .
Instant Replay
Hearing and Listening
Hearing denotes perceiving sounds. Listening means decoding and interpreting them
correctly.
I R
Hearing and
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 291loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 291 12/26/12 7:44 PM12/26/12 7:44 PM
Confirming pages
292 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
How do I show people that I’m listening to them? LO 17-3
▶ Acknowledge their comments in words, nonverbal symbols, and actions.
Active listening is a good way to show people that you are listening. Referring to another
person’s comment is another way: “I agree with Diana that. . . .”
Acknowledgment responses—nods, uh huh’s, smiles, frowns—also help carry the mes- sage that you’re listening. However, listening responses vary in different cultures. Research
has found that European Americans almost always respond nonverbally when they listen
closely, but that African Americans respond with words rather than nonverbal cues. This
difference in response patterns may explain the fact that some European Americans think
that African Americans do not understand what they are saying. For example, in the mid-
1970s, studies showed that white counselors repeated themselves more often to black cli-
ents than to white clients. 4 Similarly, black supervisors may want verbal feedback when
they talk to white subordinates who only nod.
The mainstream U.S. culture shows attention and involvement by making eye contact, lean-
ing forward, and making acknowledgment responses. However, as Module 3 shows (◀◀ p. 43), some cultures show respect by looking down. In a multicultural workforce, you won’t always
know whether a colleague who listens silently as you talk agrees with what you say or disagrees
violently but is too polite to say so. The best thing to do is to observe the behavior, without
assigning a meaning to it: “You aren’t saying much.” Then let the other person speak.
Of course, if you go through the motions of active listening but then act with disrespect,
people will not feel as though you have heard them. Acting on what people say is neces-
sary for people to feel completely heard.
Can I use these techniques if I really disagree with someone? LO 17-5
▶ Yes!
Most of us do our worst listening when we are in highly charged emotional situa-
tions, such as talking with someone with whom we really disagree, getting bad news,
Bernie Ferrari groups bad
listeners into a variety of
archetypes: Grouches,
Pretenders, Opinionators,
Answer Men, and so forth.
One, the Preambler, prefers to
use lead-ins and questions as
tools to give speeches. He cites
the appearance of The Daily
Show’s Jon Stewart on CNN’s
Crossfire —where he chastised
the show’s debate platform as
theater for the two hosts to vent
political views—as an outing of
the Preambler method.
Source: Bernie Ferrari, “Learning to Be a Power Listener,” Fast
Company, March 1, 2012, http://
www.fastcompany.com/1810661/
learning-to-be-a-power-listener .
Figure 17.1 Blocking Responses versus Active Listening
Blocking Response Possible Active Response
Ordering, threatening “I don’t care how you do it. Just get that report
on my desk by Friday.”
Paraphrasing content “You’re saying that you don’t have time to
finish the report by Friday.”
Preaching, criticizing “You should know better than to air the
department’s problems in a general meeting.”
Mirroring feelings “It sounds like the department’s problems
really bother you.”
Interrogating “Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t
understand the instructions?”
Stating one’s own feelings “I’m frustrated that the job isn’t completed yet,
and I’m worried about getting it done on time.”
Minimizing the problem “You think that’s bad. You should see what I
have to do this week.”
Asking for information or clarification “What parts of the problem seem most difficult
to solve?”
Advising “Well, why don’t you try listing everything you
have to do and seeing which items are most
important?”
Offering to help solve the problem together “Is there anything I could do that would help?”
Source: The 5 responses that block communication are based on a list of 12 in Thomas Gordon and Judith Gordon Sands, P.E.T. in Action (New York: Wyden, 1976), 117–18.
Instant Replay
Four Habits of Good
Listeners
Good Listeners
• Pay attention.
• Focus on the other
speaker(s) in a generous
way.
• Avoid making assumptions.
• Listen for feelings as well as
for facts.
I R
Four Habits
Site to See
Go to
http://www.taftcollege.edu/ lrc/quizzes/listtest.htm
Test your listening skills.
Go to
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 292loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 292 12/26/12 7:45 PM12/26/12 7:45 PM
Confirming pages
293
D. Michael Abrashoff knows a lot about the value of listening.
He now is an author and leadership development consultant, but
until January 1999, Abrashoff commanded the U.S.S. Benfold, a $1 billion warship in the U.S. Navy. Abrashoff practiced what
he called “grassroots leadership”; seeing the ship through the
eyes of the crew.
“Soon after arriving at this command . . . I realized that my
job was to listen aggressively . . . I decided to interview five
people a day . . . ask[ing] three simple questions: What do you
like most about the Benfold? What do you like least? What would you change if you could? . . .
“I tackled the most demoralizing things first—like chipping
and painting. Because ships sit in salt water and rust, . . . my
youngest sailors—the ones I wanted most to connect with—were
spending entire days sanding down rust and repainting the ship. It
was a huge waste of physical effort.” Abrashoff had all the metal
parts replaced with stainless steel and then painted with a rust
inhibitor. “The entire process cost just $25,000, and that paint
job is good for 30 years. The kids haven’t picked up a paintbrush
since. And they’ve had a lot more time to learn their jobs. . . .
“A lot of them wanted to go to college. But most of them had
never had a chance to take the SAT. So I posted a sign-up sheet to
see how many would take the test if I could arrange it. Forty-five
sailors signed up. I then found an SAT administrator through our
base in Bahrain and flew him out to the ship to give the test. That
was a simple step for me to take, but it was a big deal for morale. . . .
“Most ships report several family problems during every
deployment, and most of those problems result from lack of
communication. I created an AOL account for the ship and set
up a system for sending messages daily through a commercial
satellite. That way, sailors can check in with their families, take
part in important decisions, and get a little peace of mind.”
In the Navy as a whole, only 54% of sailors sign up for a third
tour of duty. Under Abrashoff’s command, 100% of career sailors
signed on for an additional tour. Because recruiting and training
cost the Navy at least $100,000 a sailor, Abrashoff estimates that
the Benfold ’s retention rate saved the Navy $1.6 million in 1998. Meanwhile, Benfold sailors were promoted at twice the rate of the Navy’s average. Sailors were so productive that in fiscal 1998
the Benfold returned $600,000 of its $2.4 million maintenance budget and $800,000 of its $3 million repair budget to the Navy.
Sources: www.glsworld.com , downloaded on July 2, 2012; “The Most Important Thing a Captain Can Do Is to See the Ship from the Eyes of the
Crew,” Fast Company, April 1999, 114–26; and “Fast Pack 2000,” Fast Company, March 2000, 248.
Building a Critical Skill
Leading by Listening LO 17-4
or being criticized. At work, you need to listen even to people with whom you have
major conflicts.
At a minimum, good listening enables you to find out why your opponent objects to the
programs or ideas you support. Understanding the objections to your ideas is essential if
you are to overcome those objections.
Good listening is crucial when you are criticized, especially by your boss. You
need to know which areas are most important and exactly what kind of improvement
counts. Otherwise, you might change your behavior in a way that wasn’t valued by your
organization.
Listening can do even more. Listening to people is an indication that you’re taking them
seriously. If you really listen to the people you disagree with, you show that you respect
them. And taking that step may enable them to respect you and listen to you.
Instant Replay
Strategies for Active
Listening
• Paraphrase the content.
• Mirror the speaker’s feelings.
• State your own feelings.
• Ask for information or
clarification.
• Offer to help solve the
problem.
I R
Strategies fo
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 293loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 293 12/26/12 7:45 PM12/26/12 7:45 PM
Confirming pages
294 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Good listeners pay attention, focus on the other speaker(s)
rather than on themselves, avoid making assumptions, and lis-
ten for feelings as well as for facts. (LO 17-1) • To avoid listening errors caused by inattention, (LO 17-1) • Be conscious of the points you need to know and listen for
them.
• At the end of the conversation, check your understanding
with the other person.
• After the conversation, write down key points that affect
deadlines or how work will be evaluated.
• To avoid listening errors caused by self-absorption, (LO 17-1) • Focus on what the speaker says, not his or her appearance or
delivery.
• Spend your time evaluating what the speaker says, not just
planning your rebuttal.
• Consciously work to learn something from every speaker.
• To reduce listening errors caused by misinterpretation, (LO 17-1) • Don’t ignore instructions.
• Consider the other person’s background and experiences.
Why is this point important to the speaker?
• Paraphrase what the speaker has said, giving him or her a
chance to correct your understanding.
• To avoid listening errors caused by focusing solely on facts,
(LO 17-1) • Consciously listen for feelings.
• Pay attention to tone of voice, facial expression, and body
language.
• Don’t assume that silence means consent. Invite the other
person to speak.
• In active listening, receivers actively demonstrate that they’ve heard and understood a speaker by feeding back either the lit-
eral meaning or the emotional content or both. To do this, hear-
ers can (LO 17-2) • Paraphrase the content.
• Mirror the speaker’s feelings.
• State your own feelings.
• Ask for information or clarification.
• Offer to help solve the problem.
• Show people you’re listening through acknowledgment responses,
such as nods or uh huh’s. (LO 17-3) • Ethnic and cultural norms may dictate what are common or
appropriate acknowledgment responses. Observe and be sensi-
tive. (LO 17-3) • D. Michael Abrashoff’s experiences while commanding the
U.S.S. Benfold show the value of leading by listening. His efforts increased morale, with 100% of his career sailors
requesting an additional tour with him, and due to increased
efficiency, Abrashoff returned more than a million dollars
budgeted for his ship’s repair and maintenance to the Navy.
(LO 17-4) • Good listening enables you to find out why your opponent
objects to the programs or ideas you support. It can also help
opponents realize you’re taking them seriously and respect
them. (LO 17-5)
Assignments for Module 17
17.1 What do good listeners do? (LO 17-1)
17.2 What is active listening? (LO 17-2)
17.3 How do different ethnic and cultural norms affect acknowl- edgment responses? (LO 17-3)
Questions for Comprehension
17.4 Why do people sometimes make assumptions rather than listen carefully? (LO 17-1)
17.5 How do you show that you are listening? (LO 17-1 to LO 17-3)
17.6 What are the people and circumstances in your life where you find it most difficult to listen? Why do you find it dif-
ficult? (LO 17-1 to LO 17-3)
17.7 Think of a time when you really felt that the other person listened to you, and a time when you felt unheard. What
are the differences in the two situations? (LO 17-1 to LO 17-3)
Questions for Critical Thinking
17.8 Identifying Responses that Show Active Listening (LO 17-2)
2. Comment: I’ve done more than my share of work on
this project. But the people who have been freeload-
ing are going to get the same grade I worked so hard
to earn.
Responses:
a. Yes, we all get the same grade.
b. Are you afraid we won’t do well on the assignment?
c. It sounds like you feel resentful.
Which of the following responses show active listening?
Which block communication?
1. Comment: Whenever I say something, the group ignores me.
Responses:
a. That’s because your ideas aren’t very good. Do more
planning before group meetings.
b. Nobody listens to me, either.
c. You’re saying that nobody builds on your ideas.
Exercises and Problems
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 294loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 294 12/26/12 7:45 PM12/26/12 7:45 PM
Confirming pages
Module 17 Listening 295
3. Comment: My parents are going to kill me if I don’t
have a job lined up at the end of this term.
Responses:
a. You know they’re exaggerating. They won’t really
kill you.
b. Can you blame them? I mean, you’ve been in school
for six years. Surely you’ve learned something to
make you employable!
c. If you act the way in interviews that you do in our
class, I’m not surprised. Companies want people
with good attitudes and good work ethics.
Go around the room. In turn, let each student complain
about something (large or small) that really bothers him or
her. Then the next student(s) will
a. Offer a statement of limited agreement that would buy time.
b. Paraphrase the statement.
c. Check for feelings that might lie behind the statement.
d. Offer inferences that might motivate the statement.
17.9 Practicing Active Listening (LO 17-2)
Interview a worker about his or her on-the-job listening.
Possible questions to ask include the following:
• Whom do you listen to as part of your job? Your supe-
rior? Subordinates? (How many levels down?) Custom-
ers or clients? Who else?
• How much time a day do you spend listening?
• What people do you talk to as part of your job? Do you
feel they hear what you say? How do you tell whether or
not they’re listening?
• Do you know of any problems that came up because
someone didn’t listen? What happened?
• What do you think prevents people from listening effec-
tively? What advice would you have for someone on how
to listen more accurately?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your information with a small group of students
in your class.
b. Present your findings orally.
c. Present your findings in a memo to your instructor.
d. Join with other students to present your findings in a
group report or presentation.
17.10 Interviewing Workers about Listening (LO 17-2, LO 17-3)
Keep a listening log for a week. Record how long you lis-
tened, what barriers you encountered, and what strategies
you used to listen more actively and more effectively. What
situations were easiest? Which were most difficult? Which
parts of listening do you need to work hardest on?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your information with a small group of students
in your class.
b. Present your findings orally.
c. Present your findings in a memo to your instructor.
d. Join with other students to present your findings in a
group report or presentation.
17.11 Reflecting on Your Own Listening (LO 17-2, LO 17-3)
Join at least three conversations involving people from more
than one culture. What acknowledgment responses do you
observe? Which seem to yield the most positive results? If
possible, talk to the other participants about what verbal and
nonverbal cues show attentive listening in their cultures.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your information with a small group of students
in your class.
b. Present your findings orally.
c. Present your findings in a memo to your instructor.
d. Join with other students to present your findings in a
group report or presentation.
17.12 Reflecting on Acknowledgment Responses (LO 17-3)
Combining sentences is a powerful tool to make your writing
tighter and more forceful.
When too many sentences in a passage have fewer than 10
words and follow the same basic pattern, prose is choppy. Choppy prose seems less unified and either robot-like or frenzied in tone.
Combining short sentences to create longer, flowing ones can elim-
inate this problem.
Choppy: I went to the office supply store. I purchased a com- puter, a fax machine, and a laser printer. I went to
my office. I installed the equipment. I became more
efficient.
Better: At the office supply store, I purchased a computer, a fax machine, and a laser printer. After installing the
equipment, I became more efficient.
Combine sentences in one of four ways.
1. Use transitions: words and phrases that signal connections between ideas. Common transitions are first, second, third,
Combining Sentences
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 295loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 295 12/26/12 7:45 PM12/26/12 7:45 PM
Confirming pages
296 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
finally, in addition, likewise, for example, however, on the other hand, nevertheless, because, therefore, before, after, then, while, and in conclusion.
Choppy: Neil drove the truck to the warehouse. Charlie loaded it with cement. Phil supervised the work.
Better: First, Neil drove the truck to the warehouse. Then Charlie loaded it with cement while Phil supervised the
work.
2. Rewrite sentences using subordinate clauses. A clause with one of the following words will be subordinate: after, although, though, because, or since.
Better: After Neil drove the truck to the warehouse, Charlie loaded it with cement. Phil supervised the work.
3. Join simple sentences with coordinating conjunctions, like and, but, or or. These conjunctions can also function as transi- tional words. Be sure to use the comma before the conjunction
when combining two independent clauses.
Better: Neil drove the truck to the warehouse, Charlie loaded it with cement, and Phil supervised the work.
4. Create a list using commas and coordinating conjunctions.
Choppy: Sam put our old files in the storeroom. Sam placed extra copies of the company telephone directory in the storeroom.
Sam put boxes of three-ring binders in the storeroom.
Better: Sam put old files, extra copies of the telephone directory, and boxes of three-ring binders in the storeroom.
Exercises
Combine the following sentences to make them easier to read.
1. We’re going to reorganize the department. John and Talia used
to do media relations. John is going to keep doing media rela-
tions. Talia is joining our web development team. Seydina
used to do market research. Seydina will now do long-range
planning. Anthony will also do media relations. Anthony was
our summer intern. He’s now working with the department
full time. That leaves Russ, Deb, Alexi, and Caroline. Russ,
Alexi, and Caroline will stay in market research. Deb will
work with Talia on web development.
2. A lot of people are blogging. They’re blogging for personal
reasons. They’re blogging for professional reasons. Many
blog for both reasons. Many blogs look very professional.
Many do not. Some blogs have photos. Some have music.
Some have video. The writing can be quite good. The writing
can be quite bad. The blogs are harmless in most cases.
Sometimes the blogs are insulting or downright malicious.
Sometimes the blogs seem libelous. There are millions of
blogs on the Internet. It seems that people will have to take
the good with the bad blogs.
3. I got a new cell phone. It has Internet capability. It has Blue-
tooth. I can even store video and TV shows on it. It has a
2 MPX camera. I would be lost without my new cell phone. It
has a full-color screen. It has a projector. I bought it to replace
the old one. That phone had fewer capabilities. It did not have
a projector. It did not have WiFi connectivity. It worked, but it
was two years old. I wanted more features, so I bought a new
one. This is the latest technology. I got it last week. I ordered
it online. The battery recharges wirelessly. Of course, I can
text with it, too. It works as a phone. I’d be lost without my
cell phone!
4. Excelsior Communications is the premier communication
consulting firm in the Boca Raton area. Excelsior Communi-
cations has been in business for 23 years. Twenty-three years
ago, CEO Wendy Althaus founded Excelsior Communications
in Boca Raton. Wendy Althaus worked for such companies
as Paramount Pictures, Hilton Hotels, and Nationwide Insur-
ance before founding Excelsior Communications. Wendy
Althaus founded the firm with the express intent of working
with clients in the travel and tourism industries. Excelsior has
a staff of more than 20 communication, publications, media
relations, and web development specialists. These 20 special-
ists are all college educated. Some of these specialists have
master’s degrees. Two specialists have Ph.D.s. Wendy Althaus
also has a Ph.D.
5. I began my career working in packaging for Van Eyck Indus-
tries and then took a junior position in logistics. I worked
for two years with Van Eyck Industries. The junior position
in logistics was with a company called Evergreen Plastics.
I worked for Evergreen Plastics for four years. At Van Eyck,
I spent most of my time on the assembly line, operating
hydraulic and boxing equipment. At Evergreen Plastics,
I started as an assembly line supervisor but was offered a
position with logistics within a year. I took that position in
logistics. At Evergreen Plastics, I helped to plan and coordi-
nate the delivery of finished product to more than 100 stores
and other businesses throughout the state. Another part of my
job was to plan and coordinate the delivery of the recyclables
to make product.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 296loc03261_ch17_287-296.indd 296 12/26/12 7:45 PM12/26/12 7:45 PM
Confirming pages
297
T eamwork is crucial to success in an organization. Some teams produce products, provide ser-
vices, or recommend solutions to problems. Other teams—perhaps in addition to providing a
service or recommending a solution—also produce documents. Interpersonal communication is
communication between people. Interpersonal skills such as listening (◀◀ Module 17) and dealing
with conflict are used in one-on-one conversations, in problem-solving groups, and in writing groups.
These skills will make you more successful on the job, in social groups, and in community service and
volunteer work. In writing groups, careful attention to both the group process and the writing process
(◀◀ Module 4) improves both the final product and members’ satisfaction with the group.
Teams are often most effective when they explicitly adopt ground rules. Figure 18.1 lists some of
the most common ground rules used by workplace teams.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Working and Writing in Teams
LO 18-1 Identify message types for the group’s attention.
LO 18-2 Classify roles for group members.
LO 18-3 Apply strategies for leadership without arrogance.
LO 18-4 Apply strategies for conflict resolution.
LO 18-5 Apply strategies for co-authorship of documents.
Module 18 provides advice on making your experiences working and writing in teams fun and
productive. After completing the module, you should be able to
Module
18
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 297loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 297 12/27/12 8:50 PM12/27/12 8:50 PM
Confirming pages
298 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Figure 18.1 Possible Group Ground Rules
• Start on time; end on time.
• Come to the meeting prepared.
• Focus comments on the issues.
• Avoid personal attacks.
• Listen to and respect members’ opinions.
• NOSTUESO (No One Speaks Twice Until
Everybody Speaks Once)
• If you have a problem with another person, tell
that person, not everyone else.
• Everyone must be 70% comfortable with
the decision and 100% committed to
implementing it.
• If you agree to do something, do it.
• Communicate immediately if you think you
may not be able to fulfill an agreement.
Sources: Nancy Schullery and Beth Hoger, “Business Advocacy for Students in Small Groups,” Association for Business Communication Annual Convention, San Antonio, November 9–11, 1998; “An Antidote to Chronic
Cantankerousness,” Fast Company, February/March 1998, 176; John Grossmann, “We’ve Got to Start Meeting
Like This,” Inc., April 1998, 70; Gary Dessler, Winning Commitment, quoted in Team Management Briefings,
preview issue (September 1998), 5; and 3M Meeting Network, “Groundrules and Agreements,” www.3M.com/
meetingnetwork/readingroom/meetingguide_grndrules.html (July 25, 2005).
What kinds of messages should groups attend to? LO 18-1
▶ Different messages are appropriate at different points in a group’s development.
Group messages fall into three categories:
• Informational messages focus on content: the problem or challenge, data, and possible solutions.
• Procedural messages focus on method and process. How will the group make decisions? Who will do what? When will assignments be due?
• Interpersonal messages focus on people, promoting friendliness, cooperation, and group loyalty.
Different messages dominate during the various stages of group development. Dur-
ing orientation, when members meet and begin to define their task, groups need to develop some sort of social cohesiveness and to develop procedures for meeting and
acting. Interpersonal and procedural comments reduce the tension that exists in a new
group. Insistence on information in this first stage can hurt the group’s long-term
productivity.
During formation, conflicts almost always arise when the group chooses a leader and defines the problem. Successful leaders make the procedure clear so that each member
knows what he or she is supposed to do. Interpersonal communication is needed to resolve
the conflict that surfaces during this phase. Successful groups analyze the problem care-
fully before they begin to search for solutions.
Coordination is the longest phase, during which most of the group’s work is done. While procedural and interpersonal comments help maintain direction and
friendliness, most of the comments need to deal with information. Good informa-
tion is essential to a good decision. Conflict occurs as the group debates alternate
solutions.
In formalization, the group seeks consensus. The success of this phase determines how well the group’s decision will be implemented. In this stage, the group seeks to forget
earlier conflicts.
There may, in fact, be hidden
costs to being on a large team.
The Wharton School’s Jennifer
Mueller found that while
larger teams were typically
more productive, individual
members of smaller groups
had better overall experiences.
Stress, disaffection, and
limited resources contributed
to problems in larger groups.
Said Mueller of a respondent’s
view of working with a large
team: “One person referred
to the experience as a ‘death
march.’”
Source: Knowledge@Wharton, “The Unexpected Costs of
Collaboration,” Time, January
19, 2012, http://business.time.
com/2012/01/19/the-unexpected-
costs-of-collaboration/ .
After an explosion blew out the
side of their spacecraft during
a 1970 moon shot, Apollo
13 astronauts teamed up
with Houston ground control
specialists in a desperate race
against time to save the three-
man crew. Among their many
tasks: jury-rigging a carbon
dioxide filter from such parts
as mismatched canisters,
flight manuals, and duct tape.
Instructions were radioed
to the crew after Houston
engineers built a similar
device. The drama of flawless
teamwork under high duress
played out on live television.
Source: “Apollo 13: The Real Story,” Dateline NBC, April 11,
2010.
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 298loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 298 12/27/12 8:50 PM12/27/12 8:50 PM
Confirming pages
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams 299
What roles do people play in groups? LO 18-2
▶ Roles can be positive or negative.
Positive roles and actions that help the group achieve its task goals include the following: 1
• Seeking information and opinions. Asking questions, identifying gaps in the group’s knowledge.
• Giving information and opinions. Answering questions, providing relevant information.
• Summarizing. Restating major points, pulling ideas together, summarizing decisions. • Evaluating. Comparing group process and products to standards and goals. • Coordinating. Planning work, giving directions, and fitting together contributions of
group members.
Positive roles and actions that help the group build loyalty, resolve conflicts, and
function smoothly include the following:
• Encouraging participation. Demonstrating openness and acceptance, recognizing the contributions of members, calling on quieter group members.
• Relieving tensions. Joking and suggesting breaks and fun activities. • Checking feelings. Asking members how they feel about group activities and sharing
one’s own feelings with others.
Designers for Ford Motor
Company collaborate on
group projects with colleagues
around the world. When a
team in one area of the world
completes work for the day,
the documents are passed
along to the next group, which
is just starting the workday.
Among the behaviors Jim
Collins notes of “teams on the
way down” are “members seek
as much credit as possible for
themselves, yet do not enjoy
the confidence and admiration
of their peers,” while in “teams
on the way up,” each team
member “credits other people
for success, yet enjoys the
confidence and admiration of
his or her peers.”
Source: Jim Collins, “The Dynamics of Leadership—Team Behavior”
(excerpt), BusinessWeek, May 25,
2009. http://www.businessweek.
com/magazine/content/09_21/
b4132026793275.htm .
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 299loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 299 12/27/12 8:51 PM12/27/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
300 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
• Solving interpersonal problems. Opening discussion of interpersonal problems in the group and suggesting ways to solve them.
• Listening actively. Showing group members that they have been heard and that their ideas are being taken seriously (◀◀ p. 291).
Negative roles and actions that hurt the group’s product and process include the
following:
• Blocking. Disagreeing with everything that is proposed. • Dominating. Trying to run the group by ordering, shutting out others, and insisting on
one’s own way.
• Clowning. Making unproductive jokes and diverting the group from the task. • Withdrawing. Being silent in meetings, not contributing, not helping with the work,
not attending meetings.
Some actions can be positive or negative depending on how they are used. Criticizing
ideas is necessary if the group is to produce the best solution, but criticizing every single
idea raised without ever suggesting possible solutions blocks a group. Jokes in moderation
can defuse tension and make the group more fun. Too many jokes or inappropriate jokes
can make the group’s work more difficult.
Leadership in Groups
You may have noted that “leader” was not one of the roles listed earlier. Being a leader
does not mean doing all the work yourself. Indeed, someone who implies that he or she has the best ideas and can do the best work is likely playing the negative roles of blocking
and dominating.
Effective groups balance three kinds of leadership, which parallel the three group
dimensions:
• Informational leaders generate and evaluate ideas and text. • Interpersonal leaders monitor the group’s process, check people’s feelings, and
resolve conflicts.
• Procedural leaders set the agenda, make sure that everyone knows what’s due for the next meeting, communicate with absent group members, and check to be sure that
assignments are carried out.
While it’s possible for one person to do all of these responsibilities, in many groups, the
three kinds of leadership are taken on by three (or more) different people. Some groups
formally or informally rotate or share these responsibilities, so that everyone—and no
one—is a leader.
Several studies have shown that people who talk a lot, listen effectively, and respond
nonverbally to other members in the group are considered to be leaders. 2
Leaders can encourage groups to make fair decisions. For instance, someone in
the group usually brings up an idea’s flaws. For balance, John Tropman recommends
that leaders also call upon an “angel’s advocate” to speak up for the idea’s positive
aspects. 3
Characteristics of Successful Student Groups
A case study of six student groups completing class projects found that students in suc-
cessful groups were not necessarily more skilled or more experienced than students in less
successful groups. Instead, successful and less successful groups communicated differ-
ently in three ways. 4
1. In the successful groups, the leader set clear deadlines, scheduled frequent meetings,
and dealt directly with conflict that emerged in the group. In less successful groups,
According to Florida State
University researchers,
employees with abusive
supervisors were much more
likely to hide, slack off, hand
in sloppy work, and take sick
leave when healthy than those
with more benevolent ones.
Abuse includes berating,
ignoring e-mails, and putting
down workers in front of
others. Employees with kinder
bosses were three times more
likely to proactively fix problems
and approach supervisors with
helpful ideas. A Gallop Poll of a
million workers found that bad
bosses are the top reason for
quitting a job, and a 2011 poll
conducted by Harris Interactive
for the American Psychological
Association found that nearly
50% of workers say they don’t
feel valued on the job.
Source: Jeanna Bryner, “Abused Workers Fight Back by Slacking
Off,” October 8, 2007, downloaded
at http://news.yahoo.com/s/
livescience/20071008/sc_
livescience/abusedworkersfight
backbyslackingoff ; and Douglas
LaBier, “The Lowdown on
Abusive Bosses and Unhealthy
Management,” June 6, 2011,
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
douglas-labier/the-lowdown-on-
abusive-bosses_b_887157.html .
Site to See
Go to
http://www.nsba.org/sbot/ toolkit/LeadTeams.html
For the National School Boards
Association’s tutorial on
developing successful teams.
Go to
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 300loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 300 12/27/12 8:51 PM12/27/12 8:51 PM
Sometimes when groups form, no one wants to “lead.” Per-
haps that’s because we’ve seen “leaders” who seemed dictato-
rial, implied that no one else’s work would be up to their high
standards, and generally antagonized the people unfortunate
enough to have to work with them.
You don’t have to be arrogant to be a leader. Here are some
things that you can do to get your group started on the right
track.
• Smile. Get to know the other members of your group as individuals. Invite members to say something about them-
selves, perhaps what job they’re hoping to get and one fact
about their lives outside school.
• Share. Tell people about your own work style and obliga- tion, and ask others to share their styles and obligations.
Savvy group members play to each other’s strengths and
devise strategies for dealing with differences. The earlier
you know what those differences are, the easier it will be to
deal with them.
• Suggest. “Could we talk about what we see as our purposes in this presentation?” “One of the things we need to do
is. . . .” “One idea I had for a project is. . . .” Presenting your
ideas as suggestions gets the group started without suggest-
ing that you expect your views to prevail.
• Think. Leaders look at the goal and identify the steps needed to get there. “Our proposal is due in two weeks. Let’s
list the tasks we need to do in order to write a rough draft.”
• Volunteer. Volunteer to take notes or to gather some of the data the group will need or to prepare the charts after the
data are in. Volunteer not just for the fun parts of the job
(such as surfing the web to find visuals for your Power-
Point presentation) but also for some of the dull but essential
work, such as proofreading.
• Ask. Bring other people into the conversation. Learn about their knowledge, interests, and skills so that you’ll have as
much as possible to draw on as you complete your group
projects.
Building a Critical Skill
Leading Without Being Arrogant LO 18-3
Confirming pages
301
members had to ask the leader what they were supposed to be doing. The less successful
groups met less often, and they tried to pretend that conflicts didn’t exist.
2. The successful groups listened to criticism and made important decisions together.
Perhaps as a result, everyone in the group could articulate the group’s goals. In the less
successful groups, a subgroup made decisions and told other members what had been
decided.
3. The successful groups had a higher proportion of members who worked actively on
the project. The successful groups even found ways to use members who didn’t like
working in groups. For example, one student who didn’t want to be a “team player”
functioned as a “freelancer” for her group, completing assignments by herself and
giving them to the leader. The less successful groups had a much smaller percentage of
active members and each had some members who did very little on the final project.
Rebecca Burnett has shown that student groups produce better documents when they
disagree over substantive issues of content and document design. The disagreement does
not need to be angry: A group member can simply say, “Yes, and here’s another way we
could do it.” Deciding among two (or more) alternatives forces the proposer to explain the
rationale for an idea. Even when the group adopts the original idea, considering alterna-
tives rather than quickly accepting the first idea produces better writing. 5
Kimberly Freeman found that the students who spent the most time meeting with their
groups had the highest grades—on their individual as well as on group assignments. 6
Peer Pressure and Groupthink
Groups that never express conflict may be experiencing groupthink. Groupthink is the tendency for groups to put such a high premium on agreement that they directly or indi-
rectly punish dissent.
Instant Replay
Positive Roles in Groups
Task Roles
• Seeking information and
opinions
• Giving information and
opinions
• Summarizing
• Evaluating
• Coordinating
Interpersonal Roles
• Encouraging participation
• Relieving tensions
• Checking feelings
• Solving interpersonal
problems
• Listening actively
I R
Positive Rol
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 301loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 301 12/27/12 8:51 PM12/27/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
302 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Groups that “go along with the crowd” and suppress conflict ignore the full range of
alternatives, seek only information that supports the positions they already favor, and
fail to prepare contingency plans to cope with foreseeable setbacks. A business suffer-
ing from groupthink may launch a new product that senior executives support but for
which there is no demand. Student groups suffering from groupthink turn in inferior
documents.
The best correctives to groupthink are to
• Consciously search for additional alternatives.
• Test assumptions against those of a range of other people.
• Encourage disagreement, perhaps even assigning someone to be “devil’s advocate.”
• Protect the right of people in a group to disagree.
How should we handle conflict? LO 18-4
▶ Get at the real issue, and repair bad feelings.
Conflicts will arise in any group of intelligent people who care about the task. Yet many
of us feel so uncomfortable with conflict that we pretend it doesn’t exist. However, unac-
knowledged conflicts rarely go away: they fester, making the next interchange more
difficult.
To reduce the number of conflicts in a group,
• Make responsibilities and ground rules clear at the beginning.
• Discuss problems as they arise, rather than letting them fester till people explode.
• Realize that group members are not responsible for each others’ happiness.
Meeting expert John Tropman recommends that controversial items be handled at two
different meetings. The first meeting is a chance for everyone to air a point of view about
the issue. After a cooling-off period, a second meeting is held where the group reaches a
decision. 7
Figure 18.2 suggests several possible solutions to conflicts that student groups often
experience. Often the symptom arises from a feeling of not being respected or appreciated
by the group. Therefore, many problems can be averted if people advocate for their ideas
in a positive way. As Nancy Schullery and Beth Hoger point out, the best time to advocate
for an idea is when the group has not yet identified all possible options, seems dominated
by one view, or seems unable to choose among solutions. A tactful way to advocate for the
position you favor is to recognize the contributions others have made, to summarize, and
then to hypothesize: “What if . . . ?” “Let’s look six months down the road.” “Let’s think
about x. ” 8
Steps in Conflict Resolution
Dealing successfully with conflict requires attention to both the issues and to people’s feel-
ings. This five-step procedure will help you resolve conflicts constructively.
1. Make Sure that the People Involved Really Disagree
Sometimes someone who’s under a lot of pressure may explode. But the speaker may just
be venting anger and frustration; he or she may not in fact be angry at the person who receives the explosion. One way to find out if a person is just venting is to ask, “Is there
something you’d like me to do?”
2. Check to See that Everyone’s Information Is Correct
Sometimes different conversational styles (◀◀ p. 45) or cultural differences (◀◀ p. 40) create apparent conflicts when in fact no real disagreement exists. During a negotiation
Author and self-professed
introvert Susan Cain believes
that while some teamwork is
fine and offers a stimulating
way to exchange ideas,
introverts may suffer, in
particular from the pressures
of groupthink. She notes the
achievements of creative
introverts like Apple’s Steve
Wozniak and physicist Sir
Isaac Newton, who seemed
to do their best work alone.
Cain, who opposes eliminating
teamwork from the workplace,
nonetheless points out “it’s one
thing to associate with a group
in which each member works
autonomously on his piece of
the puzzle; it’s another to be
corralled into endless meetings
or conference calls conducted
in offices that afford no respite
from the noise and gaze of
co-workers.”
Source: Susan Cain, “The Rise of the New Groupthink,” The
New York Times, January 13,
2012, http://www.nytimes
.com/2012/01/15/opinion/sunday/
the-rise-of-the-new-groupthink.
html?pagewanted=allC .
Instant Replay
Three Kinds of Group
Leadership
Informational leaders generate and evaluate ideas
and text. Interpersonal leaders monitor the group’s
process, check people’s
feelings, and resolve conflicts.
Procedural leaders set the agenda, make sure that
everyone knows what’s
due for the next meeting,
communicate with absent
group members, and check to
be sure that assignments are
carried out.
I R
Three Kinds
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 302loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 302 12/27/12 8:51 PM12/27/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams 303
between a U.S. businessman and a Balinese businessman, the Balinese man dropped his
voice and lowered his eyes when he discussed price. The U.S. man saw the low voice and
breaking of eye contact as an indication of dishonesty. But the Balinese believe that it is
rude to mention price specifically. He was embarrassed, but he wasn’t lying. 9
Similarly, misunderstanding can arise from faulty assumptions. A U.S. student studying
in Colombia quickly learned that only cold water was available for his evening shower.
Since his host family washed dinner dishes in cold water, he assumed that the family didn’t
have hot water. They did. Colombians turn off the water heater in the morning after every-
one has bathed; washing later in the day is done with cold water. He could have had hot
water for his showers if he had taken them in the morning. 10
Figure 18.2 Troubleshooting Group Problems
Symptom Possible Solutions
We can’t find a time to meet that works
for all of us.
a. Find out why people can’t meet at certain times. Some reasons suggest their own solutions.
For example, if someone has to stay home with small children, perhaps the group could meet
at that person’s home.
b. Assign out-of-class work to “committees” to work on parts of the project.
c. Use e-mail to share, discuss, and revise drafts.
One person just criticizes
everything.
a. Ask the person to follow up the criticism with a suggestion for improvement.
b. Talk about ways to express criticism tactfully. “I think we need to think about x” is more
tactful than “You’re wrong.”
c. Value criticism about ideas and writing (not about people). Ideas and documents need
criticism if we are to improve them.
People in the group don’t seem
willing to disagree. We end up
going with the first idea suggested.
a. Appoint someone to be a “devil’s advocate.”
b. Brainstorm so you have several possibilities to consider.
c. After an idea is suggested, have each person in the group suggest a way it could be
improved.
d. Have each person in the group write a draft. It’s likely the drafts will be different, and
you’ll have several options to mix and match.
e. Talk about good ways to offer criticism. Sometimes people don’t disagree because
they’re afraid that other group members won’t tolerate disagreement.
I seem to be the only one in the
group who cares about quality.
a. Find out why other members “don’t care.” If they received low grades on early
assignments, stress that good ideas and attention to detail can raise grades. Perhaps
the group should meet with the instructor to discuss what kinds of work will pay the
highest dividends.
b. Volunteer to do extra work. Sometimes people settle for something that’s just OK
because they don’t have the time or resources to do excellent work. They might be
happy for the work to be done—if they don’t have to do it.
c. Be sure that you’re respecting what each person can contribute. Group members
sometimes withdraw when one person dominates and suggests that he or she is
“better” than other members.
One person isn’t doing his or her
fair share.
a. Find out what is going on. Is the person overcommitted? Does he or she feel
unappreciated? Those are different problems you’d solve in different ways.
b. Do things to build group loyalty. Get to know each other as writers and as people.
Sometimes, do something fun together.
c. Encourage the person to contribute. “Mary, what do you think?” “Jim, which part of this
would you like to draft?” Then find something to praise in the work. “Thanks for getting
us started.”
d. If someone misses a meeting, assign someone else to bring the person up to speed.
People who miss meetings for legitimate reasons (job interviews, illness) but don’t find
out what happened may become less committed to the group.
e. Consider whether strict equality is the most important criterion. Sometimes the best
group product results from letting people do different amounts of “work.”
f. Even if you divide up the work, make all decisions as a group: what to write about,
which evidence to include, what graphs to use, what revisions to make. People
excluded from decisions become less committed to the group.
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 303loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 303 12/27/12 8:51 PM12/27/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
304 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
3. Discover the Needs Each Person Is Trying to Meet
Sometimes determining the real needs makes it possible to see a new solution. The
presenting problem that surfaces as the subject of dissension may or may not be the real problem. For example, a worker who complains about the hours he’s putting in may
in fact be complaining not about the hours themselves but about not feeling appreciated.
A supervisor who complains that the other supervisors don’t invite her to meetings may
really feel that the other managers don’t accept her as a peer. Sometimes people have
trouble seeing beyond the presenting problem because they’ve been taught to suppress
their anger, especially toward powerful people. One way to tell whether the present-
ing problem is the real problem is to ask, “If this were solved, would I be satisfied?”
If the answer is no, then the problem that presents itself is not in fact the real problem. Solving the presenting problem won’t solve the conflict. Keep probing until you get to
the real conflict.
4. Search for Alternatives
Sometimes people are locked into conflict because they see too few alternatives. In Decide and Conquer, Stephen Robbins calls this common shortcoming the limited-search error: Wishing to simplify a complicated process, group members generate alternatives only if
the ones already mentioned are unacceptable. Therefore, for significant decisions, groups
need a formal process to identify alternatives thoroughly. 11
Diverse alternatives can lead to better solutions. At one data-entry company, productiv-
ity fell because female employees took time off to visit their children at day care. Men on
the board wanted to solve the problem by “docking” pay. The one woman on the board
proposed installing software to let mothers check on their children online. That solved
the problem. 12
5. Repair Bad Feelings
Conflict can emerge without anger and without escalating the disagreement, as the next
section shows. But if people’s feelings have been hurt, the group needs to deal with those
feelings to resolve the conflict constructively. Only when people feel respected and taken
seriously can they take the next step of trusting others in the group.
Responding to Criticism
Conflict is particularly difficult to resolve when someone else criticizes or attacks us
directly. When we are criticized, our natural reaction is to defend ourselves—perhaps
by counterattacking. The counterattack prompts the critic to defend him- or herself.
The conflict escalates; feelings are hurt; issues become muddied and more difficult
to resolve.
Just as resolving conflict depends upon identifying the needs each person is try-
ing to meet, so dealing with criticism depends upon understanding the real concern of
the critic. Constructive ways to respond to criticism and get closer to the real concern
include
• Paraphrasing.
• Checking for feelings.
• Checking inferences.
• Buying time with limited agreement.
Paraphrasing
To paraphrase, repeat in your own words the verbal content of the critic’s message. The purposes of paraphrasing are (1) to be sure that you have heard the critic accurately,
(2) to let the critic know what his or her statement means to you, and (3) to communicate
the feeling that you are taking the critic and his or her feelings seriously.
Human Resources consultant
Roberta Matuson points
out that conflict can be an
opportunity for fresh ideas. She
asks businesspeople, “Do you
think such innovative products
like smartphones would exist if
no one in the room challenged
the idea that a phone could be
used for more than just making
and receiving calls?”
Source: Roberta Matuson, “How to Confront Without Conflict,”
FastCompany, February 4, 2010,
http://www.fastcompany
.com/blog/roberta-matuson/
management-escalator/
how-confront-without-conflict .
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 304loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 304 12/27/12 8:51 PM12/27/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams 305
Criticism: You guys are stonewalling my requests for information. Paraphrase: You think that we don’t give you the information you need quickly enough.
Checking for Feelings
When you check the critic’s feelings, you identify the emotions that the critic seems to
be expressing verbally or nonverbally. The purposes of checking feelings are to try to
understand (1) the critic’s emotions, (2) the importance of the criticism for the critic, and
(3) the unspoken ideas and feelings that may actually be more important than the voiced
criticism.
Criticism: You guys are stonewalling my requests for information. Feeling check: You sound pretty angry.
Always ask the other person if you are right in your perception. Even the best reader of nonverbal cues is sometimes wrong.
Checking for Inferences
When you check the inferences you draw from criticism, you identify the implied mean-
ing of the verbal and nonverbal content of the criticism, taking the statement a step further
than the words of the critic to try to understand why the critic is bothered by the action or attitude under discussion. The purposes of checking inferences are (1) to identify the real
(as opposed to the presenting) problem and (2) to communicate the feeling that you care
about resolving the conflict.
Criticism: You guys are stonewalling my requests for information. Inference: Are you saying that you need more information from our group?
Inferences can be faulty. In the above interchange, the critic might respond, “I don’t need
more information. I just think you should give it to me without my having to file three forms in triplicate every time I want some data.”
Buying Time with Limited Agreement
Buying time is a useful strategy for dealing with criticisms that really sting. When you
buy time with limited agreement, you avoid escalating the conflict (as an angry statement
might do) but also avoid yielding to the critic’s point of view. To buy time, restate the part
of the criticism that you agree to be true. (This is often a fact, rather than the interpreta-
tion or evaluation the critic has made of that fact.) Then let the critic respond, before you say anything else. The purposes of buying time are (1) to allow you time to think when a criticism really hits home and threatens you, so that you can respond to the criticism rather
than simply react defensively, and (2) to suggest to the critic that you are trying to hear
what he or she is saying.
Criticism: You guys are stonewalling my requests for information. Limited agreement: It’s true that the cost projections you asked for last week still aren’t ready.
DO NOT go on to justify or explain. A “Yes, but . . .” statement is not a time-buyer.
You-Attitude in Conflict Resolution
You-attitude (◀◀ Module 6) means looking at things from the audience’s point of view, respecting the audience, and protecting the audience’s ego. The you statements that many people use when they’re angry attack the audience; they do not illustrate you-attitude.
Instead, substitute statements about your own feelings. In conflict, I statements show good you-attitude!
Lacks you-attitude: You never do your share of the work. You-attitude: I feel that I’m doing more than my share of the work on this project. Lacks you-attitude: Even you should be able to run the report through a spell checker. You-attitude: I’m not willing to have my name on a report with so many spelling errors. I
did lots of the writing, and I don’t think I should have to do the proofreading
and spell-checking, too.
Could social media actually
be contributing to loneliness?
At a time when arguably more
opportunities to connect with
people exist than before,
research suggests people in
general are getting lonelier. In
1950, for instance, less than
10% of U.S. households had
only one person, but that
number increased to 27% by
2010. A study by the American
Association of Retired Persons
found 35% of adults older than
45 were chronically lonely,
more than double the number
a decade earlier. In Australia,
where half the population uses
Facebook, a study found that
lonely people are inclined to
spend more time on Facebook
and that there is a significant
correlation between Facebook
use and narcissism. “Passive
consumption” of Facebook,
where people only scan
others’ walls, correlates to
depression and feelings of
disconnectedness, according
to a Carnegie-Mellon University
study. Though there is yet to
be a definitive answer, the case
of Yvette Vickers, a former
Playboy playmate and actress,
may offer insight. The 83-year-
old was found mummified after
nearly a year, still seated in front
of her powered-up computer.
Source: Stephen Marche, “Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?”
The Atlantic, May 2012, http://
www.theatlantic.com/magazine/
archive/2012/05/is-facebook-
making-us-lonely/8930/ .
Instant Replay
Responding to Criticism
Constructive ways to respond
to criticism and get closer
to the real concern include
paraphrasing, checking for
feelings, checking inferences,
and buying time with limited
agreement.
I R
Responding
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 305loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 305 12/27/12 8:51 PM12/27/12 8:51 PM
Confirming pages
306 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Copyright © Peter C. Vey/The New Yorker Collection, www.cartoonbank.com .
Leading means more than being the boss. It means inspiring people to work together for solutions.
How can we create the best co-authored documents? LO 18-5
▶ Talk about your purposes and audience(s). ▶ Discuss drafts and revisions as a group.
Whatever your career, it is likely that some of the documents you produce will be written
with a group. Lisa Ede and Andrea Lunsford found that 87% of the 700 professionals in
seven fields who responded to their survey sometimes wrote as members of a team or a
group. 13
Collaboration is often prompted by one of the following situations:
• The task is too big or the time is too short for one person to do all the work.
• No one person has all the knowledge required to do the task.
• A group representing different perspectives must reach a consensus.
• The stakes for the task are so high that the organization wants the best efforts of as
many people as possible; no one person wants the sole responsibility for the success or
failure of the document.
Collaborative writing can be done by two people or by a much larger group. The group
can be democratic or run by a leader who makes decisions alone. The group may share or
divide responsibility for each of the stages in the writing process (◀◀ p. 60). Research in collaborative writing is beginning to tell us about the strategies that produce
the best writing. Rebecca Burnett found that student groups that voiced disagreements as
they analyzed, planned, and wrote a document produced significantly better documents
than those that suppressed disagreement, going along with whatever was first proposed. 14
A case study of two collaborative writing teams in a state agency found that the successful
group distributed power equally, worked to soothe hurt feelings, and was careful to involve
all group members. In terms of writing process, the successful group understood the task
as a response to a rhetorical situation, planned revisions as a group, saw supervisors’ com-
ments as legitimate, and had a positive attitude toward revision. 15
Ede and Lunsford’s detailed case studies of collaborative teams in business, govern-
ment, and science create an “emerging profile of effective collaborative writers”: “They
are flexible; respectful of others; attentive and analytical listeners; able to speak and write
clearly and articulately; dependable and able to meet deadlines; able to designate and share
responsibility, to lead and to follow; open to criticism but confident in their own abilities;
ready to engage in creative conflict.” 16
Want to build a stronger team?
Join Bayer, FedEx Ground,
the Pittsburgh City Police,
and other organizations that
have turned to hip hop. In
addition to learning team-
building skills, the Hip-Hop
On L.O.C.K. program brings
businesspeople together to
ply their artistic and creative
skills and perform community
service.
Source: Shawn Graham, “Forget Paintball; Hip Hop Is the Freshest
Exercise in Team Building,”
Fast Company, http://www.
fastcompany.com/1780114/build-
highly-functioning-teams-through-
lyrics .
Working with virtual teams
requires special attention, as
“digital nomads” may be out
of the office most or all of the
time. McKinsey Consulting
expects the growth of video
and web conferencing to top
20% in the next five years,
so preparing to adapt makes
sense. Boland T. Jones, chief
executive of PGi, a virtual
meetings company, suggests
making video conferences
a must, using engaging
conferencing tools, using
blog posts and texting, and
employing Facebook and
Twitter, especially for friending
and status updates.
Source: Boland T. Jones, “Five Tips for Managing Digital Nomads ,”
Bloomberg Businessweek,
July 22, 2011, http://www.
businessweek.com/management/
five-tips-for-managing-digital-
nomads-07222011.html .
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 306loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 306 12/27/12 8:52 PM12/27/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams 307
Planning the Work and the Document
Collaborative writing is most successful when the group articulates its understanding of
the document’s purposes and audiences and explicitly discusses the best way to achieve
these rhetorical goals. Businesses schedule formal planning sessions for large projects to
set up a time line specifying intermediate and final due dates, meeting dates, who will
attend each meeting, and who will do what. Putting the plan in writing reduces misunder-
standings during the project.
When you plan a collaborative writing project,
• Make your analysis of the problem, the audience, and your purposes explicit so you
know where you agree and where you disagree.
• Plan the organization, format, and style of the document before anyone begins to write
to make it easier to blend sections written by different authors.
• Consider your work styles and other commitments. A writer working alone can stay
up all night to finish a single-authored document. But members of a group need to
work together to accommodate each other’s styles and to enable members to meet other
commitments.
• Build some leeway into your deadlines. It’s harder for a group to finish a document
when one person’s part is missing than it is for a single writer to finish the last section
of a document on which he or she has done all the work.
Composing the Drafts
Most writers find that composing alone is faster than composing in a group. However,
composing together may reduce revision time later, since the group examines every choice
as it is made.
When you draft a collaborative writing project,
• Use word processing to make it easier to produce the many drafts necessary in a
collaborative document.
• If the quality of writing is crucial, have the best writer(s) draft the document after
everyone has gathered the necessary information.
Revising the Document
Revising a collaborative document requires attention to content, organization, and style.
The following guidelines can make the revision process more effective:
• Evaluate the content and discuss possible revisions as a group. Brainstorm ways to
improve each section so the person doing the revisions has some guidance.
• Recognize that different people favor different writing styles. If the style satisfies the
demands of standard English and the conventions of business writing, accept it even if
you wouldn’t say it that way.
• When the group is satisfied with the content of the document, one person—probably the best
writer—should make any changes necessary to make the writing style consistent throughout.
Editing and Proofreading the Document
Because writers’ mastery of standard English varies, a group document needs careful edit-
ing and proofreading.
• Have at least one person check the whole document for correctness in grammar,
mechanics, and spelling and for consistency in the way that format elements, names,
and numbers are handled.
• Run the document through a spell-checker if possible.
• Even if you use a computerized spell-checker, at least one human being should proofread
the document too.
Students creating health
care apps at Florida Atlantic
University presented a group
business plan in lieu of a
final exam. The students
represented four academic
disciplines—business,
anthropology, engineering, and
graphic arts—and combined
their areas of expertise. One,
Mark Anthony Burgarelli, used
his anthropology knowledge
to study his group’s dynamics
and is now working for an
advertising agency doing
market research.
Source: Nancy Dahlberg, “FAU Students Team Up to
Develop Mobile Apps,” The
Miami Herald, July 15, 2012,
http://www.miamiherald.
com/2012/07/15/2897006/fau-
students-team-up-to-develop.html .
Medical innovations and
teamwork, even in the violent
chaos of combat, are helping
U.S. service people reach a
survivability rate of 95% in
Afghanistan if they get medical
help quickly. That involves
everyone from other soldiers
and Marines to battlefield
medics to air and ground
vehicle crews to surgical teams
at base hospitals working and
communicating in concert to
help the wounded. The rate is
higher than in any previous war
fought by the United States.
Source: Alan Cullison, “On Distant Battlefields, Survival Odds Rise
Sharply,” The Wall Street Journal,
April 2, 2010, http://online.wsj.
com/article/SB100014240527
48704655004575114623837
930294.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_
RIGHTInDepthCarousel .
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 307loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 307 12/27/12 8:52 PM12/27/12 8:52 PM
Confirming pages
308 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Making the Group Process Work
When you create a coauthored document,
• Give yourselves plenty of time to discuss problems and find solutions. Purdue students
who are writing group reports spend six to seven hours a week outside class in group
meetings—not counting the time they spend gathering information and writing their
drafts. 17
• Take the time to get to know group members and to build group loyalty. Group members
will work harder and the final document will be better if the group is important to members.
• Be a responsible group member. Attend all the meetings; carry out your responsibilities.
• Be aware that people have different ways of experiencing reality and of expressing
themselves.
• Because talking is “looser” than writing, people in a group can think they agree when
they don’t. Don’t assume that because the discussion went smoothly, a draft written by
one person will necessarily be acceptable.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Effective groups balance informational leadership, interper-
sonal leadership, and procedural leadership. (LO 18-1) • A case study of six student groups completing class projects
found that students in successful groups had leaders who set
clear deadlines, scheduled frequent meetings, and dealt directly
with conflict that emerged in the group; and had an inclusive
decision-making style, and a higher proportion of members
who worked actively on the project. (LO 18-2) • Students who spent the most time meeting with their groups got
the highest grades. (LO 18-2) • Groupthink is the tendency for groups to put such a high
premium on agreement that they directly or indirectly punish
dissent. The best correctives to groupthink are to consciously
search for additional alternatives, to test one’s assumptions
against those of a range of other people, and to protect the right
of people in a group to disagree. (LO 18-2) • To lead without being arrogant and get your group started on
track, remember to smile, share, suggest, think, volunteer, and
ask. (LO 18-3)
• To resolve conflicts, first make sure that the people involved
really disagree. Next, check to see that everyone’s information
is correct. Discover the needs each person is trying to meet. The
presenting problem that surfaces as the subject of dissension may or may not be the real problem. Search for alternatives.
(LO 18-4) • Constructive ways to respond to criticism include paraphrasing,
checking for feelings, checking inferences, and buying time
with limited agreement. (LO 18-4) • Use statements about the speaker’s feelings to own the problem
and avoid attacking the audience. In conflict, I statements are good you-attitude! (LO 18-4)
• Collaborative writing means working with other writers to produce a single document. Writers producing a joint document
need to pay attention not only to the basic steps in the writing
process but also to the processes of group formation and con-
flict resolution. (LO 18-5)
Assignments for Module 18
18.1 What are the three kinds of group leadership? (LO 18-1)
18.2 What is groupthink? (LO 18-2)
18.3 How do you use you-attitude during conflict? (LO 18-4)
18.4 What strategies produce the best coauthored documents? (LO 18-5)
Questions for Comprehension
18.5 Why are so many people so afraid of conflict in groups? What can a group do to avoid groupthink? (LO 18-1, LO 18-2)
18.6 Why is it better for groups to deal with conflicts, rather than just trying to ignore them? (LO 18-1, LO 18-2)
18.7 What is the most successful group or team you’ve been part of? What made it effective? (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 308loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 308 12/27/12 8:52 PM12/27/12 8:52 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams 309
18.8 Keeping a Journal about a Group (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
As you work in a collaborative writing group, keep a jour-
nal after each group meeting.
• What happened?
• What roles did you play in the meeting?
• What conflicts arose? How were they handled?
• What strategies could you use to make the next meeting
go smoothly?
• Record one observation about each group member.
In 18.9 through 18.13, assume that your group has been
asked to recommend a solution.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Send e-mail messages to group members laying out
your initial point of view on the issue and discussing the
various options.
b. Meet as a group to come to a consensus.
c. As a group, answer the message.
d. Write a memo to your instructor telling how satisfied
you are with
1. The decision your group reached.
2. The process you used to reach it.
e. Write a memo describing your group’s dynamics
(18.15).
Exercises and Problems
Assume that your small group comprises the executive
committee of a large company that has a luxury football
skybox. (Depending on the stadium, a skybox for a profes-
sional football team may cost as little as $100,000 a year or
10 times that much. A portion—perhaps up to 30%—of the
cost may be deductible as a business expense.) The CEO
says, “Times are tight. We need to reevaluate whether we
should retain the skybox.”
Write a group response recommending whether to keep
the skybox and supporting your recommendation.
Hints:
• Agree on a company to use for this problem.
• Does having a skybox match the values in the company’s
mission statement? If you keep the skybox, who should
have priority in using it?
• How is the company doing financially? Is it laying off
workers?
18.9 Recommending Whether to Keep the Skybox (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
Assume that your small group comprises the officers in stu-
dent government on your campus. You receive this e-mail
from the dean of students:
Write a group report recommending what (if anything)
your campus should do for student entrepreneurs and sup-
porting your recommendation.
18.10 Recommending a Policy on Student Entrepreneurs (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
As you know, campus policy says that no student may use campus resources to conduct business-
related activities. Students can’t use college e-mail addresses for business. They can’t post business web
pages on the college server.
On the other hand, a survey conducted by the Kauffman Center for Entrepreneurial Leadership showed
that 7 out of 10 teens want to become entrepreneurs.
Should campus policy be changed to allow students to use college e-mail addresses for business? (And
then what happens when our network can’t carry the increased e-mail traffic?) Please recommend what
support (if any) should be given to student entrepreneurs.
Hints:
• Does your campus offer other support for entrepreneurs
(courses, a business plan competition, a start-up incuba-
tor)? What should be added or expanded?
• Is it realistic to ask alumni for money to fund student
start-ups?
• Are campus e-mail, phone, and delivery services funded
by tax dollars? If your school is a public institution, do
state or local laws limit business use?
18.11 Answering an Ethics Question (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
Assume that your small group comprises your organiza-
tion’s ethics committee. You receive the following anony-
mous note:
Determine the best solution to the problem. Then write
a message to all employees stating your decision and build-
ing support for it.
People are routinely using the company letterhead to write letters to members of Congress, senators, and
even the president stating their positions on various issues. Making their opinions known is of course their
right, but doing so on letterhead stationery implies that they are speaking for the company, which they are not.
I think that the use of letterhead for anything other than official company business should be prohibited.
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 309loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 309 25/01/13 9:54 PM25/01/13 9:54 PM
Rev.confirming pages
310 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Assume that your small group comprises the labor-
management committee at the headquarters of a chain of
grocery stores. This e-mail arrives from the vice president
for human resources:
Write a group response recommending whether to
change the policy and supporting your recommendation.
18.12 Responding to an Employee Grievance (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
You’ve just been named vice president for diversity, the
first person in your organization to hold this position.
Today, you receive this memo from Sheila Lathan, who
edits the employee newsletter.
18.13 Answering an Inquiry about Photos (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
As you know, company policy requires that employees smile at customers and make eye contact with
them. In the past nine months, 12 employees have filed grievances over this rule. They say they are being
harassed by customers who think they are flirting with them. A produce clerk claims customers have
propositioned her and followed her to her car. Another says “Let me decide who I am going to say hello
to with a big smile.” The union wants us to change the policy to let workers not make eye contact with
customers, and to allow workers to refuse to carry groceries to a customer’s car at night. My own feeling
is that we want to maintain our image as a friendly store that cares about customers, but that we also
don’t want to require behavior that leads to harassment. Let’s find a creative solution.
Subject: Photos in the Employee Newsletter
Please tell me what to do about photos in the monthly employee newsletter. I’m concerned that almost no
single issue represents the diversity of employees we have here.
As you know, our layout allows two visuals each month. One of those is always the employee of the
month (EM). In the last year, most of those have been male and all but two have been white. What makes
it worse is that people want photos that make them look good. You may remember that Ron Olmos was
the EM two months ago; in the photo he wanted me to use, you can’t tell that he’s in a wheelchair. Often
the EM is the only photo; the other visual is often a graph of sales or something relating to quality.
Even if the second visual is another photo, it may not look balanced in terms of gender and race. After
all, 62% of our employees are men and 78% are white. Should the pictures try to represent those
percentages? The leadership positions (both in management and in the union) are even more heavily male
and white. Should we run pictures of people doing important things, and risk continuing the imbalance?
I guess I could use more visuals, but then there wouldn’t be room for as many stories—and people really
like to see their names in print. Plus, giving people information about company activities and sales is
important to maintaining goodwill. A bigger newsletter would be one way to have more visuals and keep
the content, but with the cost-cutting measures we’re under, that doesn’t look likely.
What should I do?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Work in a small group with other students to come up
with a recommendation for Sheila.
b. Write a memo responding to her.
c. Write an article for the employee newsletter about the
photo policy you recommend and how it relates to the
company’s concern for diversity.
18.14 Creating Brochures (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
In a collaborative group, create a series of brochures for an
organization and present your design and copy to the class in
a group oral presentation. Your brochures should work well
as a series but also be capable of standing alone if a reader
picks up just one. They should share a common visual design
and be appropriate for your purposes and audience. You may
use sketches rather than photos or finished drawings. Text,
however, should be as it will appear in the final copy.
As you prepare your series, talk to a knowledgeable per-
son in the organization. For this assignment, as long as the
person is knowledgeable, he or she does not have to have
the power to approve the brochures.
In a manila folder, turn in
1. Two copies of each brochure.
2. A copy of your approved proposal (▶▶ Module 21). 3. A narrative explaining (a) how you responded to the wishes
of the person in the organization who was your contact and
(b) five of the choices you made in terms of content, visu-
als, and design and why you made these choices.
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 310loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 310 25/01/13 9:54 PM25/01/13 9:54 PM
Rev.confirming pages
Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams 311
Analyze the dynamics of a task group of which you are a
member. Answer the following questions:
1. Who was the group’s leader? How did the leader
emerge? Were there any changes in or challenges to the
original leader?
2. Describe the contribution each member made to the
group, and the roles each person played.
3. Did any members of the group officially or unofficially
drop out? Did anyone join after the group had begun
working? How did you deal with the loss or addition of
a group member, both in terms of getting the work done
and in terms of helping people work together?
4. What planning did your group do at the start of the proj-
ect? Did you stick to the plan or revise it? How did the
group decide that revision was necessary?
5. How did your group make decisions? Did you vote?
Reach decisions by consensus?
6. What problems or conflicts arose? Did the group deal
with them openly? To what extent did they interfere
with the group's task?
7. Evaluate your group both in terms of its task and in
terms of the satisfaction members felt. How did this
group compare with other task groups you’ve been part
of? What made it better or worse?
18.15 Analyzing the Dynamics of a Group (LO 18-1 to LO 18-5)
• Be honest. You won’t lose points for reporting that your
group had problems or did something “wrong.”
• Show your knowledge of good group dynamics. That is,
if your group did something wrong, show that you know
what should have been done. Similarly, if your group worked well, show that you know why it worked well.
• Be specific. Give examples or anecdotes to support your
claims.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Discuss these questions with the other group members.
b. Present your findings orally to the class.
c. Present your findings in an individual memo to your
instructor.
d. Join with the other group members to write a collabora-
tive memo to your instructor.
As you answer the questions,
None of us likes to be told that our work isn’t good. But criticism is
necessary if people and documents are to improve.
Depending on the situation, you may be able to use one of these
strategies:
1. Notice what’s good as well as what needs work.
The charts are great. We need to make the text as good as
they are.
I really like the builds you’ve used in the slides. We need to
edit the bullet points so they’re parallel.
2. Ask questions.
Were you able to find any books and articles, in addition to
sources on the Internet?
What do you see as the most important revisions to make for
the next draft?
3. Refer to the textbook or another authority.
The module on design says that italic type is hard to read.
Our instructor told us that presentations should have just
three main points.
4. Make statements about your own reaction.
I’m not sure what you’re getting at in this section.
I wouldn’t be convinced by the arguments here.
5. Criticize what’s wrong, without making global attacks on the
whole document or on the writer as a person.
There are a lot of typos in this draft.
You begin almost every sentence with um.
Exercises
Rewrite each criticism to make it less hurtful. You may add or omit
information as needed.
1. Reading your report reminds me of when I was a kid and my
older brother used to spin me around and around and around.
I have that same disoriented feeling and sickness in my stom-
ach right now.
2. I will say that after looking over your job application, I had
a religious awakening. The fact that anyone ever hired you
before makes me believe in miracles.
3. This isn’t writing. It’s typing.
4. My mother always told me to find at least one good thing to
say about someone. Well, I like the font you used.
5. It’s a testament to courage and indomitable spirit that a writer
with your obvious challenges with the English language has
managed to make it this far. Bravo, Shakespeare.
6. Let’s look at it this way: If you were in my place, how
could you, in good conscience, even consider letting some-
one with your obvious deficiencies in addition and subtrac-
tion have anything to do with writing a financial report?
7. Your writing is a case study on the failure of the modern educa-
tion system. I’m surprised you got the staple in the right place.
8. Go back to sleep. We’ll wake you up if we think there’s any-
thing useful you can contribute.
9. I would have to fix about half the spelling and grammar mis-
takes in this memo just to classify it as awful.
10. I’ve seen better use of syntax on a bathroom wall.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Delivering Criticism
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 311loc03261_ch18_297-311.indd 311 25/01/13 9:54 PM25/01/13 9:54 PM
Confirming pages
312
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings
M eetings have always taken a large part of the average manager’s week. The increased number
of teams means that meetings are even more frequent.
Meetings can be highly engaging and productive—or they can make people wish they were some-
where else. A Microsoft survey found that employees globally are in meetings 5.6 hours a week;
however, 69% of those employees think meetings are a waste of time. 1 Effectively planning and
conducting meetings requires more than simply scheduling them and showing up. In the fast-paced
21st century, most employees have great demands on their time. They expect meetings to reflect
that reality. Of course, there is a benefit to social interaction, too, but meetings must serve a greater
purpose than just getting people together.
The first order of business is always to determine if a meeting is even necessary. Are there more
efficient ways to communicate? Would an e-mail message suffice? If a meeting is necessary, consider
options. Face-to-face meetings are still the norm, but increasingly, people are turning to online oppor-
tunities, using services like Skype and gotomeeting.com . They can hold telephone conferences. Even
instant messaging allows people to “meet.”
Business, nonprofit, and government organizations hold several types of meetings.
LO 19-1 Apply strategies for good meeting plans.
LO 19-2 Apply strategies for productive meetings.
LO 19-3 Apply strategies for good meeting decisions.
LO 19-4 Apply strategies for business networking.
LO 19-5 Explain techniques for effective meeting participation.
LO 19-6 Select items for inclusion in meeting minutes.
LO 19-7 Compose scripts for informal meetings with bosses.
LO 19-8 Compare and contrast techniques for virtual meetings versus face-to-
face ones.
The concepts in Module 19 can help make your meetings the most productive. After completing the
module, you should be able to
19
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 312loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 312 12/31/12 3:59 PM12/31/12 3:59 PM
Confirming pages
Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings 313
• Parliamentary meetings are run under strict rules, like the rules of parliamentary procedure summarized in Robert’s Rules of Order. Parliamentary meetings are often used by boards of directors and by legislative bodies such as the U.S. Congress and
Senate, but they are rarely part of the day-to-day meetings common in most businesses
and nonprofit organizations.
• Regular staff meetings are held to announce new policies and products, answer questions, share ideas, and motivate workers. For example, Microsoft Exchange
Group’s development team meets every morning to review daily software builds and
to identify any issues that have come up in the last 24 hours. On Fridays, about 50
Google employees meet for a fast-paced hour to discuss ways to make Google searches
better and choose which new ideas to take to the next level of development. 2 A financial
services company holds quarterly town hall meetings for all employees, complete
with staging, professional-quality videos, and question-and-answer sessions with the
executive team. 3
• Team meetings bring together team members to brainstorm, solve problems, and create documents. Meetings may be called on short notice when a problem arises that needs
input from several people.
• One-on-one meetings are not always thought of as meetings, but they are perhaps the most common meetings of all. Employees talk by the water cooler or the refrigerator
or ride up an elevator together. One person walks into another’s office or cubicle to
ask a question. A supervisor stops by a line worker to see how things are going and to
“manage by walking around.” These highly informal meetings can be crucial to your
being seen as promotable.
Other kinds of meetings also are held. Many companies hold sales meetings for their
sales staff. Conventions bring together workers in the same field from many different
employers. Retreats allow a small group to get away for team building, brainstorming, or
long-range planning.
Any of these meetings may be supported with computers. Allstate and McKinsey &
Co. are among the organizations that key in comments on a computer hooked up to a large
overhead projector for all the participants to see: “People literally see themselves being
heard. Related comments are identified, linked, and edited on screen. The digressions and
tangents quickly become apparent.” The resulting document can be posted on the company
intranet for further discussion and comments. 4
Other organizations use group support software. Each person sits at a workstation.
Participants key in their own brainstorming ideas and comments. People can vote by rank-
ing items on a 1-to-10 scale; the software calculates the averages. 5
Speakerphones and conference calls allow people in different locations to participate
in the same conversation. Online meetings, such as those hosted by WebEx ( www.webex
.com ), allow you to bring together five other participants for a simultaneous e-mail con-
versation in your own private chat room. Some computer systems support video as well
as data or audio transmissions. Videoconferences provide high-quality video and audio
transmissions.
The length and purposes of the meeting, the number of people who attend, the budget,
and the available technology all affect outcomes. However, a number of principles apply
to almost all meetings.
What planning should precede a meeting? LO 19-1
▶ Identify the purpose(s) and create an agenda.
Meetings can have at least six purposes:
• To share information.
• To brainstorm ideas.
Site to See
Go to
www.parlipro.org/
to learn how to use
parliamentary procedures.
Go to
Give crayons and construction
paper to employees for
quiet reflection? Let negative
speakers be subject to
squirt gun retaliation from
colleagues around the table?
Todd Barr recommends
swapping laptops for tablet
PCs and using Penultimate
tablet software in place of
the whiteboard. Apps like
IdeaFlight can also help. These
may seem unusual actions, but
they are among creative ways
managers are making business
meetings more participatory
and less tedious.
Source: Emily Maltby, “Boring Meetings? Get Out the Water
Guns,” The Wall Street Journal,
January 15, 2010, http://online.wsj
.com/article/SB1000142405274
87042546045746143411773028
58.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_sections_
smallbusiness ; and Todd Barr, “5
Ways an iPad Can Transform Bad
Meetings,” Inc, February 2, 2012,
http://www.inc.com/todd-barr/5-
ways-ipad-can-transform-bad-
meeting.html .
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 313loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 313 12/31/12 3:59 PM12/31/12 3:59 PM
Confirming pages
314 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
• To evaluate ideas.
• To make decisions.
• To create a document.
• To motivate members.
When meetings combine two or more purposes, it’s useful to make the purposes explicit.
For example, in the meeting of a university senate or a company’s board of directors, some
items are presented for information. Discussion is possible, but the group will not be asked
to make a decision. Other items are presented for action; the group will be asked to vote. A
business meeting might specify that the first half hour will be time for brainstorming, with
the second half hour devoted to evaluation.
Intel’s agendas also specify how decisions will be made. The company recognizes four different decision-making processes:
• Authoritative (the leader makes the decision alone).
• Consultative (the leader hears group comments, but then makes the decision alone).
• Voting (the majority wins).
• Consensus (discussion continues until everyone can “buy into” the decision). 6
Specifying how input will be used makes expectations clear and focuses the conversation.
Once you’ve identified your purposes, think about how you can make them happen.
Perhaps participants will need to receive and read materials before the meeting. Per-
haps people should bring drafts to the meeting so that creating a document can go more
quickly.
For team meetings called on short notice, the first item of business is to create an
agenda. This kind of agenda can be informal, simply listing the topics or goals.
For meetings with more lead time, distribute an agenda several days before the meeting.
( Agenda is Latin for “to be done.”) If possible, give participants a chance to comment and revise the agenda in response to those comments. A good agenda indicates
• The time and place of the meeting.
• Whether each item is presented for information, for discussion, or for a decision.
• Who is sponsoring or introducing each item.
• How much time is allotted for each item.
See Figure 19.1 for an example.
Many groups put first routine items on which agreement will be easy. Schedule contro-
versial items early in the meeting, when people’s energy level is high, and to allow enough
time for full discussion. Giving a controversial item only half an hour at the end of the day
or evening makes people suspect that the leaders are trying to manipulate them.
To make meetings more fun, the
Burrell Communications Group
uses giant blue, red, and yellow
“relaxation balls” instead of chairs.
Site to See
Go to
www.businessballs.com/ meetings.htm
See advice on how to run
better meetings, as well as
links to resources.
Go to
One study of CEOs finds
that they work an average
of 55 hours a week and
spend 18 of those hours in
meetings. Robert Cowen, CEO
of Lionbridge Technologies,
Inc., says he is constantly
communicating with staff and
clients, though rarely more
than 15 minutes at a time.
“I don’t know when I’m not in
a meeting,” Cowen says.
Source: Rachel Emma Silverman, “Where’s the Boss? Trapped in a
Meeting,” The Wall Street Journal,
February 14, 2012, http://online.
wsj.com/article/SB100014240529
70204642604577215013504567
548.html .
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 314loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 314 12/31/12 3:59 PM12/31/12 3:59 PM
Confirming pages
Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings 315
If you’re planning a long meeting, for example, a training session or a conference,
recognize that networking is part of the value of the meeting. Allow short breaks at least
every two hours and generous breaks twice a day so participants can talk informally to
each other. If participants will be strangers, include some social functions so they can
get to know each other. If they will have different interests or different levels of knowl-
edge, plan concurrent sessions on different topics or for people with different levels of
expertise.
Allow for creativity and fun. Each Best Buy store chooses its own way to start monthly
staff meetings. The Best Buy in Boca Raton, Florida, opens each 7:30 am meeting with a
talent show. 7
Figure 19.1 Sample Meeting Agenda
Marketing Committee Agenda
September 9, 10 AM Conference Room 410
10:00 1. Updates on Projects (For information)
10:15 2. Budget Report (For information)
10:20 3. Report from the Web Subcommittee (For decision: choose one of the three prototypes)
10:45 4. Planning the Subsidiary web pages (For decision: brainstorm; then assign responsibility)
11:00 5. Report from the Diversity Committee (For decision: approve hiring plan)
11:25 6. Report from the Research Committee (For decision: assign research topics)
11:45 7. Evaluation
11:50 8. Adjourn
Everyone!
Tim
Lori
Lori
Hiroshi
Amanda
Distribute the agenda early.
Specify when and where the meeting will be held.
Some groups approve the agenda and the minutes of the last meeting.
People don’t vote on information items.
Realistic time estimates help keep a meeting on track.
The decision will be made during the meeting.
Many groups use the last five minutes to review what went well and what needs to be
improved.
Specify who is responsible for presenting each item.
Agendas don’t have to give this much detail. But referring to documents reminds participants to bring them to the meeting.
Some groups leave a slot for “new business.”
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 315loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 315 12/31/12 3:59 PM12/31/12 3:59 PM
Confirming pages
316 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
You may want to leave five minutes at the end of the meeting to evaluate it. What went
well? What could be better? What do you want to change next time?
When I’m in charge, how do I keep the meeting on track? LO 19-2
▶ Pay attention both to task and to process.
Your goal as chair is to help participants deal with the issues in a way that is both timely
and adequately thorough.
• If many people are new to the group, make the ground rules explicit. Possible team
ground rules were presented in Figure 18.1 (◀◀ p. 298). Ground rules for a larger meeting might cover whether it is acceptable to check e-mail during the meeting and
whether people must stay for the whole meeting or can drop in and out.
• Introduce the person who introduces each issue, recognize people who want to speak,
and remind the group of its progress: “We’re a bit behind schedule. Let’s try to get
through the committee reports quickly.”
• Be prepared to summarize issues to shape the discussion when the issues are complex
or when members have major disagreements: “We’re really talking about two things:
whether the change would save money and whether our customers would like it. Does
it make sense to keep those two together, or could we talk about customer reaction first,
and then deal with the financial issues?”
• If the issue is contentious, ask that speakers for and against a recommendation alternate.
If no one remains on one side, then the discussion can stop.
• Pay attention to people and process as well as to task. In small groups, invite everyone
to participate.
• If conflict seems to be getting out of hand, focus on ways the group could deal with
conflict (◀◀ Module 18) before getting back to the substantive issues. • If the group doesn’t formally vote, summarize the group’s consensus after each point
so that everyone knows what decision has been made and who is responsible for
implementing or following up on each item.
What decision-making strategies work well in meetings? LO 19-3
▶ Try the standard agenda or dot planning.
Probably the least effective decision-making strategy is to let the person who talks first,
last, loudest, or most determine the decision. Voting is quick but may leave people in the
minority unhappy with and uncommitted to the majority’s plan. Coming to consensus
takes time but results in speedier implementation of ideas. Two strategies that are often
useful in organizational groups are the standard agenda and dot planning.
The standard agenda is a seven-step process for solving problems.
1. Understand what the group has to deliver, in what form, by what due date. Identify
available resources.
2. Identify the problem. What exactly is wrong? What question(s) is the group trying to
answer?
3. Gather information, share it with all group members, and examine it critically.
4. Establish criteria. What would the ideal solution include? Which elements of that
solution would be part of a less-than-ideal but still acceptable solution? What legal,
financial, moral, or other limitations might keep a solution from being implemented?
To help keep meeting-goers on
track, consultant Samir Penkar
brings chocolates. Whenever
someone starts rambling,
he hands them one, in one
case repeating the process
six times until the offending
employees learned to stick to
the agenda. Corporate trainer
Dana Brownlee puts an Elmo
doll on the conference table
during meetings. “Anytime
anybody in the session thinks
we’re getting off track, pick up
the Elmo doll,” she advises.
That way, people can express
frustration without actually
interrupting speakers.
Source: Sue Shellenbarger, “Meet the Meeting Killers,” The Wall Street
Journal, May 15, 2012, http://
online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424
052702304192704577404434001
058726.html .
Instant Replay
Agenda
A good agenda indicates
• The time and place of the
meeting.
• Whether each item is
presented for information,
for discussion, or for a
decision.
• Who is sponsoring or
introducing each item.
• How much time is allotted
for each item.
I R
Agenda
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 316loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 316 12/31/12 3:59 PM12/31/12 3:59 PM
Confirming pages
317
5. Generate alternate solutions. Brainstorm and record ideas for the next step.
6. Measure the alternatives against the criteria.
7. Choose the best solution. 8
Dot planning offers a way for large groups to choose priorities quickly. First, the group brainstorms ideas, recording each on pages that are put on the wall. Then each individual
gets two strips of three to five adhesive dots in different colors. One color represents high
priority, the other lower priority. People then walk up to the pages and affix dots by the
points they care most about. Some groups allow only one dot from one person on any
one item; others allow someone who is really passionate about an idea to put all of his or
her dots on it. As Figure 19.2 shows, the dots make it easy to see which items the group
believes are most important.
Site to See
Go to
http://www.gotomeeting .com
for GoToMeeting’s web
conferencing services.
Go to
Getting to know people within and beyond your own organi-
zation helps you build a network of contacts, colleagues, and
friends.
In your own organization, reach out to people. Within a
professional context, get to know people socially by going to
lunch or joining in on company-sponsored events. Commit to
meeting at least one new person a week—more if you’re in a
large organization. Seek out people within your area or depart-
ment as well as those outside it.
Join community organizations. If your company is active in
charitable or community events, volunteer. Take a course at a
local college or community center. Remember, too, trade and
service organizations related to your field. Organizations such
as the Society for Technical Communication and the American
Marketing Association hold meetings and sponsor conferences
where professionals can meet.
Remember that the purpose of networking is both social
and professional; therefore, have fun, but treat networking as a
work-related task.
Purdue University gives tips for networking in both small
and large group settings:
• Be prepared. Define what you need and what you are trying to accomplish by networking.
• Be targeted. Identify potential prospects: family members, friends, faculty, neighbors, classmates, alumni, bosses,
co-workers, and community associates.
• Be professional. Ask your prospects for advice—not for a job. Start off the encounter with a handshake, eye contact,
and a smile.
• Be patient. Stay politely persistent with your leads and build momentum.
• Be focused on quality—not quantity. In a large group setting, circulate and meet people, but don’t try to talk to
everyone. It’s better to have a few meaningful conversations
than 50 hasty introductions.
• Be referral-centered. Expand your network by obtaining additional referrals each time you meet someone new.
• Be proactive. Stay organized and track your networking meetings.
• Be dedicated to networking. Make networking part of your long-term career plan.
If you’re too busy to network, Keith Ferrazzi recommends
focusing on meeting people during things you already do,
including mundane tasks like taking the car in for maintenance
or going to the dentist.
The Internet also provides excellent opportunities to net-
work through e-mail and listservs. To find the appropriate list-
serv, visit www.lsoft.com/catalist.html . As this book goes to
press, that site links 50,742 public listservs on the web. Search
engines like Yahoo! and Google also feature business-related
groups, as does Facebook, MySpace, and LinkedIn. For more
on social networking sites, [◀◀] Module 13. Even large organizations are getting involved with network-
ing through the Internet. BusinessWeek noted that Procter & Gamble, for instance, now gets 35% of new products from out-
side the company by tapping into external scientific networks
on the web. Toymaker LEGO showed a new locomotive kit to
only 250 people, but their “word of mouse” helped 10,000 units
sell out in 10 days. It was the only marketing for the kit the
company did.
Sources: Purdue University Campus Recruiting and Job Search Manual (Adapted from Thomas J. Denham.), downloaded at http://purdue.
placementmanual.com/jobsearch/jobsearch-01.html , July 25, 2005; Keith
Ferrazzi, “No Time to Network” (Resource Center), Fast Company, downloaded at www.fastcompany.com/resources/networking/ferrazzi/071305.
html , July 27, 2005; L-Soft, www.lsoft.com/catalist.html , July 20, 2005;
and “The Cooperative Corporation,” BusinessWeek, June 20, 2005.
Building a Critical Skill
Networking LO 19-4
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 317loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 317 12/31/12 3:59 PM12/31/12 3:59 PM
Confirming pages
318 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
How can I be an effective meeting participant? LO 19-5
▶ Be prepared.
Take the time to prepare for meetings. Read the materials distributed before the meeting
and think about the issues to be discussed. Bring those materials to the meeting, along
with something to write on, and with, even if you’re not the secretary.
City Year, a national youth
service organization, opens
meetings with a show of
hands. Conversations stop,
all is quiet, and group
members are engaged in a
common action. Participants
end each meeting by reaching
their hands into the center to
form a circle. Larger groups
raise their hands high. This
break marks the close of
the meeting and unifies
the group.
Figure 19.2 Dot Planning Allows Groups to Set Priorities Quickly
The list below is a set of goals for a company’s human resources department to tackle in the coming year. Here, red dots mean “high priority”
and blue dots mean “low priority.” The dot planning chart will help the HR department decide what to tackle first. One can see at a glance
which items have widespread support and which are low priority.
Creating a new employee handbook
Creating a task force to address employee complaints
Selecting a new 401(k) provider
Deciding on parameters for a flextime policy
Changing the company dress code policy
Selecting a outplace- ment firm to help laid-off employees find work
Revising the company’s computer usage policy
Selecting a new health insurer
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 318loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 318 12/31/12 4:00 PM12/31/12 4:00 PM
Confirming pages
Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings 319
In a small meeting, you’ll probably get several chances to speak. Roger Mostvick and
Robert Nelson found that the most influential people in a meeting are those who say some-
thing in the first five minutes of the meeting (even just to ask a question), who talk most
often, and who talk at greatest length. 9
In a large meeting, you may get just one chance to speak. Make notes of what you want
to say so you can be succinct, fluent, and complete.
It’s frustrating to speak in a meeting and have people ignore what you say. Here are
some tips for being taken seriously. 10
• Show that you’ve done your homework. Laura Sloate, who is blind, establishes authority
by making sure her first question is highly technical: “In footnote three of the 10K, you
indicate. . . .”
• Link your comment to the comment of a powerful person. Even if logic suffers a bit,
present your comment as an addition, not a challenge. For example, say, “John is
saying that we should focus on excellence, AND I think we can become stronger by
encouraging diversity.”
• Find an ally in the organization and agree ahead of time to acknowledge each other’s
contributions to the meeting, whether you agree or disagree with the point being made.
Explicit disagreement signals that the comment is worth taking seriously: “Duane has
pointed out . . ., but I think that. . . .”
What should go in meeting minutes? LO 19-6
▶ Topics discussed, decisions reached, and who does what next.
Meeting expert Michael Begeman suggests recording three kinds of information:
• Decisions reached.
• Action items, where someone needs to implement or follow up on something.
• Open issues—issues raised but not resolved. 11
Minutes of formal meetings indicate who was present and absent and the wording of
motions and amendments as well as the vote. Committee reports are often attached for
later reference. For less-formal meetings, brief minutes are fine. The most important notes
are the decisions and assignments. Long minutes will be most helpful if assignments are
set off visually from the narrative.
Staying focused in meetings
requires discipline, but some
meetings can challenge
anyone. Regular planning
meetings at a nonprofit lasted
as long as six hours, giving one
participant the opportunity to
knit an entire sweater.
Source: Claire Suddath, “M&Ms and Dirty Doodles: How to Survive
a Boring Meeting,” Bloomberg
Businessweek, June 22, 2012,
http://www.businessweek.com/
articles/2012-06-22/m-and-ms-
and-dirty-doodles-how-to-survive-
a-boring-meeting .
Site to See
Go to
www.federalreserve .gov/newsevents/press/ monetary/2012monetary .htm
The Federal Open Market
Committee posts its minutes
on the web.
Go to
Instant Replay
Decision-Making
Strategies
The standard agenda is a seven-step process for solving
problems.
Dot planning offers a way for large groups to choose
priorities quickly.
I R
Decision Ma
We discussed whether we should switch from road to rail shipment.
Action: Sue will get figures on cost for the next meeting.
Action: Tyrone will survey current customers online to ask their opinions.
How can I use informal meetings with my boss to advance my career? LO 19-7
▶ Plan scripts to present yourself positively.
You’ll see your supervisor several times a week. Some of these meetings will be acciden-
tal: you’ll meet by the coffeepot or ride up the elevator together. Some of them will be
deliberately initiated: your boss will stop by your workstation, or you’ll go to your boss’s
office to ask for something.
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 319loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 319 12/31/12 4:00 PM12/31/12 4:00 PM
Confirming pages
320 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
You can take advantage of these meetings by planning for them. These informal meet-
ings are often short. An elevator ride, for example, may last about three minutes. So plan
90-second scripts that you can use to give your boss a brief report on what you’re doing,
ask for something you need, or lay the groundwork for an important issue.
Planning scripts is especially important if your boss doesn’t give you much feedback
or mentoring. In this case, your boss probably doesn’t see you as promotable. You need
to take the initiative. Make statements that show the boss you’re thinking about ways to
work smarter. Show that you’re interested in learning more so that you can be even more
valuable to the organization.
Do virtual meetings require special consideration? LO 19-8
▶ Yes. Watch interpersonal communication.
▶ For important projects, build in some face-to-face meetings as well.
When you meet electronically rather than in person, you lose the informal interactions of
going to lunch or chatting during a break. Those interactions not only create bonds, so that
people are more willing to work together, but also give people a chance to work out dozens
of small issues. Listening (◀◀ Module 17), teamwork, and the ability to resolve conflicts constructively (◀◀ Module 18) become even more crucial.
Virtual meetings require
special consideration. Ordinary
noise—such as a phone
ringing—can be an even
greater distraction, and photos
and images on a background
wall can take attention away
from the speaker. Think about
clothing, too. Polycom vice
president Gary Testa was on
a video call with a consultant
when the consultant stood up
to answer a knock at the door.
Out of his office and thinking
himself mostly out of view,
the consultant was wearing
a dress shirt and tie but no
pants.
Source: Sue Shellenbarger, “Pants Required: Attending Meetings
When Working from Home,”
The Wall Street Journal, May
16, 2012, http://blogs.wsj.com/
atwork/2012/05/16/pants-required-
attending-meetings-when-working-
from-home/ .
Meetings are more effective when they stay on track and encourage participation.
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com , www.cartoonstock
.com .
Investor Bill Lee, who held
200 meetings at the St. Regis
Hotel in San Francisco in 2011,
had trouble coordinating with
meeting-goers who were late.
So, he helped create Twist, a
smartphone app that tracks
meeting-goers and texts them
if someone is running behind.
The app also creates a map
showing their location.
Source: Ashley Vance, “How to Run Late for a Meeting in Style,”
Bloomberg Businessweek, July 18,
2012, http://www.businessweek.
com/articles/2012-07-18/how-to-
run-late-for-a-meeting-in-style .
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 320loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 320 12/31/12 4:00 PM12/31/12 4:00 PM
Confirming pages
Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings 321
Be aware of the limitations of your channel. When you are limited to e-mail, you lose
both tone of voice and body language. In addition, e-mail messages are often more brusque
than comments in person (◀◀ Module 13). Audio messages provide tone of voice but not the nonverbal signals that tell you whether someone wants to make a comment or
understands what you’re saying. Even videoconferencing gives you only the picture in the
camera’s lens. With any of these technologies, you’ll need to attend specifically to inter-
personal skills.
Technical communicator Aimee Kratts recommends the following tips for making an
international teleconference run smoothly:
• Distribute the agenda and other materials well in advance. The call may take place in
the middle of the night in some countries. Participants at home may not have printers or
even computers and may not be able to receive last-minute documents.
• Encourage speakers to use standard English with as little slang as possible. If you think
participants have misunderstood each other, try to clarify.
• Ask for questions periodically.
• Ask for contributions from people who haven’t spoken.
• Listen for disagreements. “I hear Raul saying X and Bertine saying Y. Is that right?” • Encourage offline discussions on e-mail to follow up on topics.
• Call participants individually the next day to take the emotional temperature.
• Take and distribute written minutes. 12
Since 2009, companies like
Nutrisystem, Symantec, and
Herman Miller have held at
least one annual “e-meeting”
for shareholders. Symantec
eventually returned to physical
meetings because, as board
member Robert Miller put it,
“some investors preferred to
look members in the eye.”
The savings, however, can be
great. Furniture maker Herman
Miller saw the cost drop from a
high of $15,000 to just $3,000
for its annual meeting.
Source: Joann S. Lublin, “Online Annual Meetings Begin to Click,” The
Wall Street Journal, November 14,
2011, http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB10001424052970203537304577
032313764922458.html .
Summary of Learning Objectives
• A good agenda indicates (LO 19-1) • The time and place of the meeting.
• Whether each item is presented for information, for discus-
sion, or for a decision.
• Who is sponsoring or introducing each item.
• How much time is allotted for each item.
• To make meetings more effective, (LO 19-2) • State the purpose of the meeting at the beginning.
• Distribute an agenda that indicates whether each item is for
information, for discussion, or for a decision, and how long
each is expected to take.
• Allow enough time to discuss controversial issues.
• Pay attention to people and process as well as to the task at
hand.
• If you don’t take formal votes, summarize the group’s consen-
sus after each point. At the end of the meeting, summarize all
decisions and remind the group who is responsible for imple-
menting or following up on each item. (LO 19-2) • The standard agenda is a seven-step process for solving prob-
lems. In dot planning, the group brainstorms ideas. Then each individual affixes adhesive dots by the points or proposals he or
she cares most about. (LO 19-3)
• Treat networking as a work-related task, and seek people
out in your organization and beyond. You can meet people
in person or virtually through e-mail and the web, includ-
ing with social networking sites like Facebook and LinkedIn.
(LO 19-4) • Take time to prepare for meetings. To be taken seriously, show
you’ve done your homework, link your comment to the com-
ment of a powerful person, and find an ally. (LO 19-5) • Minutes should record (LO 19-6) • Decisions reached.
• Action items, where someone needs to implement or follow
up on something.
• Open issues—issues raised but not resolved.
• Plan 90-second scripts so that if you have a chance for an infor-
mal meeting with your boss, you can make the most of the time.
(LO 19-7) • While they can be productive, electronic meetings can lack
the informal interactions that create bonds and give people the
chance to work out small issues. Be aware of limitations of
channels, such as losing tone of voice and body language with
e-mail. (LO 19-8)
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 321loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 321 12/31/12 4:00 PM12/31/12 4:00 PM
Confirming pages
322 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Assignments for Module 19
19.1 What should go in an agenda? (LO 19-1)
19.2 What are the seven steps in the standard meeting agenda? (LO 19-3)
19.3 When would dot planning be most effective? (LO 19-6)
19.4 What should go in minutes of a meeting? (LO 19-6)
Questions for Comprehension
19.5 What is the best meeting you ever attended? What made it so effective? (LO 19-1 to LO 19-4)
19.6 What opportunities do you have to network? (LO 19-4)
19.7 In the groups of which you’re a member (at school, at work, and in volunteer organizations), what kinds of comments
are most valued in meetings? (LO 19-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
19.8 Writing an Agenda (LO 19-1)
Write an agenda for your next collaborative group meeting.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Write a memo to your instructor, explaining the choices
you made.
b. Compare your agenda with the ones developed by
others in your group. Use the agendas as drafts to help
you create the best possible agenda.
c. Present your best agenda to the rest of the class in a
group oral presentation.
Exercises and Problems
You’re the director for your organization’s finance depart-
ment. You receive the following message from several man-
agers, all members of one of its key committees:
Terry, indeed, is a valued member of the department,
which is why he was chosen to chair this important com-
mittee. His unwavering dedication and track record of
19.9 Helping a Supervisor to Hold Better Meetings (LO 19-1 to LO 19-4)
getting work done without error are what impress you most.
But his long-winded approach may be silencing members
of a committee that is seeking input from all of its mem-
bers. Therefore, you’ve decided to share with Terry tips on
ways to make meetings more streamlined.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Write a script for a brief meeting with Terry suggesting
ways to improve meetings.
b. Write a reply to the message thanking the committee
members for bringing the matter to your attention.
As you know, Terry is chair of our department’s restructuring committee. We all like Terry
and think he’s a nice guy, but his meetings are insufferable. If you ask Terry a simple ques-
tion, he responds with a rambling five-minute answer that only eventually addresses the
question—and then goes on and on. Time seems irrelevant to him. A meeting with three
agenda items takes two hours, and many of Terry’s points could be better addressed in a
simple e-mail.
A few members of the committee are fine with Terry’s meetings, but the rest of us have
other work to do. We don’t dare ask him questions or open items to discussion anymore
because we know we’ll be there for the rest of the day. While we don’t want Terry to get in
trouble, something needs to be done about his meetings.
Don D’Amato
Hunter Blalock
Sherry Kane
Jasmine Mirzapour
Laura Yu
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 322loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 322 12/31/12 4:00 PM12/31/12 4:00 PM
Confirming pages
Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings 323
Create a manual for students’ next term telling them how
to have effective meetings as they work on collaborative
projects.
*Adapted from Miles McCall, Beth Stewart, and Timothy Clipson, “ Teaching
Communication Skills for Meeting Management,” 1998 Refereed Proceedings, Association for Business Communication Southwestern United States, ed. Marsha L.
Bayless (Nacogdoches, TX), 68.
19.10 Writing a Meeting Manual * (LO 19-1 to LO 19-4)
As Your Instructor Directs, Have two or more people take minutes of each class or col-
laborative group meeting for a week. Compare the accounts
of the same meeting.
• To what extent do they agree on what happened?
• Does one contain information missing in other accounts?
• Do any accounts disagree on a specific fact?
• How do you account for the differences you find?
19.11 Taking Minutes (LO 19-6)
Create a script for a 90-second statement to your boss
1. Describing the progress on a project you’re working on.
2. Providing an update on a problem the boss already
knows about.
3. Telling about a success or achievement.
4. Telling about a problem and asking approval for the
action you recommend.
5. Asking for resources you need for a project.
6. Asking for training you’d like to get.
7. Laying the groundwork for a major request you need to
make.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Discuss your scripts with a small group of other
students.
b. Present your script to the class.
c. Write a memo to your instructor giving your script(s)
and explaining the choices you have made in terms of
content, arrangement, and word choice.
19.12 Planning Scripts for Three-Minute Meetings (LO 19-7)
Hyphens and dashes are forms of punctuation used within sentences.
Use a hyphen to
1. Join two or more words used as a single adjective.
Correct: Order five 10- or 12-foot lengths.
Here, hyphens prevent misreading. Five lengths are needed, not
lengths of 5, 10, or 12 feet.
2. Indicate that a word has been divided between two
lines.
Correct: Our biggest competitor announced plans to intro- duce new models of computers into the Euro-
pean market.
Divide words only at syllable breaks. If you aren’t sure where the
syllables break, look up the word in a dictionary. When a word has
several syllables, divide it after a vowel or between two consonants.
3. Indicate a compound word, such as a noun or an adjective that
requires two or more words to make sense.
Correct: We took a ride on the Merry-Go-Round. Correct: She bought a two-line phone for her home office.
Experts may disagree as to which compound words require
hyphens. In general, compound adjectives appearing before the
noun they modify take hyphens while those appearing after do not.
Correct: The Asian-American market represents an untapped resource worth billions of dollars.
Correct: In December, we will unveil a line of vacation packages aimed at Asian Americans.
While many word-processing programs automatically hyphen-
ate for you, knowing where and when to divide words is important
for words the program may not recognize or for special cases. For
instance, don’t divide words of one syllable (e.g., used ), and don’t divide a two-syllable word if one of the syllables is only one letter
long (e.g., acre ). Use a dash to
1. Emphasize a break in thought.
Correct: Despite our best efforts—which included sending a design team to Paris and increasing our promotional
budget—sales are lagging.
Create a dash by typing the hyphen key twice. With some word
processors, this “double hyphen” will automatically be replaced
with a longer, single dash, which is acceptable.
Exercises
Supply necessary dashes or hyphens in the following sentences.
If no punctuation is needed—if a space is correct—leave the box
blank.
Hyphens and Dashes
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 323loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 323 12/31/12 4:00 PM12/31/12 4:00 PM
Confirming pages
324 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
1. Mark told us he expects the shipment □ which was delayed because of the hurricane □ to arrive on Wednesday.
2. I was overwhelmed by the good news from Holly Dufresne □ we landed the $11 million contract!
3. The year □ long project required Curtis, Shanna, and Alexander to travel throughout Asia and South □ America.
4. Though we expected Mary □ Ellen to accept the job offer, we were surprised when she turned us down □ actually, shocked is more like it.
5. While the electrical supply order was correct, we also needed
two □ foot and three □ foot lengths of cord. 6. Maybe a half hour before the meeting □ close to 2:30, I think
□ Kiana told us we had to find another meeting space because □ and she worded this very carefully □ the hotel was experi- encing difficulties.
7. Though we are doing a good job of marketing to our European
□ American customers, our Asian □ and African □ American customers could be served better.
8. Taylor Dunham wants us to submit a budget □ request by Friday and to expect significant increases in printing □ and shipping □ costs next year, as much as 10 □ % and 15 □ %, respectively.
9. There were seven □ or eight □ consultants at the IT meeting □ certainly a lot more than anyone expected when we sched- uled the meeting last April.
10. Chuy advised us that our lease □ remember it expires on October 1 □ can be renewed but only with a two □ or four □ year contract.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 324loc03261_ch19_312-324.indd 324 12/31/12 4:01 PM12/31/12 4:01 PM
Confirming pages
325
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Making Oral Presentations
M aking a good oral presentation is more than just good delivery: It also involves developing a
strategy that fits your audience and purpose, having good content, and organizing material
effectively. The choices you make in each of these areas are affected by your purposes, the audience,
and the situation.
Giving a presentation is in many ways very similar to writing a message. The other modules in this
book—on analyzing your audience, using you-attitude and positive emphasis, developing reader
benefits, designing slides, overcoming objections, doing research, and analyzing data—remain relevant
as you plan an oral presentation.
LO 20-1 Apply strategies for good presentation plans.
LO 20-2 Apply strategies for strong openers and closes.
LO 20-3 Apply strategies for best vocal delivery.
LO 20-4 Apply strategies for good presentation organization.
LO 20-5 Apply strategies for effective presentation delivery.
LO 20-6 Explain techniques for audience question responses.
LO 20-7 List guidelines for group presentations.
While public speaking can be intimidating, Module 20 provides skills to deliver oral presentations
comfortably and effectively. After completing the module, you should be able to
20
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 325loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 325 12/31/12 3:31 PM12/31/12 3:31 PM
Confirming pages
326 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Oral presentations have the same three basic purposes that written documents have: to
inform, to persuade, and to build goodwill. Like written messages, most oral presentations
have more than one purpose.
Informative presentations inform or teach the audience. Training sessions in an orga- nization are primarily informative. Secondary purposes may be to persuade new employ-
ees to follow organizational procedures, rather than doing something their own way, and to
help them appreciate the organizational culture (◀◀ p. 28). Persuasive presentations motivate the audience to act or to believe. Giving information
and evidence is an important means of persuasion. Stories, visuals, and self-disclosure are
also effective. In addition, the speaker must build goodwill by appearing to be credible and
sympathetic to the audience’s needs. The goal in many presentations is a favorable vote
or decision. For example, speakers making business presentations may try to persuade the
audience to approve their proposals, to adopt their ideas, or to buy their products. Sometimes
the goal is to change behavior or attitudes or to reinforce existing attitudes. For example, a
speaker at a meeting of factory workers may stress the importance of following safety pro-
cedures. A speaker at a church meeting may talk about the problem of homelessness in the
community and try to build support for community shelters for the homeless.
Goodwill presentations entertain and validate the audience. In an after-dinner speech, the audience wants to be entertained. Presentations at sales meetings may be designed to
stroke the audience’s egos and to validate their commitment to organizational goals.
Make your purpose as specific as possible.
Weak: The purpose of my presentation is to discuss saving for retirement. Better: The purpose of my presentation is to persuade my audience to put their 401(k) funds in
stocks and bonds, not in money market accounts and CDs.
or: The purpose of my presentation is to explain how to calculate how much money someone needs to save in order to maintain a specific lifestyle after retirement.
Note that the purpose is not the introduction of your talk; it is the principle that guides your decisions as you plan your presentation.
What decisions do I need to make as I plan a presentation? LO 20-1
▶ Choose your main point, the kind of presentation, and ways to involve the audience.
An oral presentation needs to be simpler than a written message to the same audience.
Identify the one idea you want the audience to take home. Simplify your supporting detail
so it’s easy to follow. Simplify visuals so they can be taken in at a glance. Simplify your
words and sentences so they’re easy to understand.
James Kilts did this when he became CEO of Nabisco. Denise Morrison, a manager
under Kilts, recalls that he described his vision in terms of three Ds: “He said he was
delighted to be at Nabisco, disappointed about some things and determined to fix them.”
For Morrison, Kilts’s message, conveyed in a calm, authoritative tone, was both memo-
rable and motivational. 1
Presentation coach Jerry Weissman helped client David Angel simplify his description
of his company: 2
Too complicated: Information Storage Devices provides voice solutions using the company’s unique, patented multilevel storage technique.
Simple: We make voice chips. They’re extremely easy to use. They have unlimited appli- cations. And they last forever.
Analyze your audience for an oral presentation just as you do for a written message. If
you’ll be speaking to co-workers, talk to them about your topic or proposal to find out what
questions or objections they have. For audiences inside the organization, the biggest ques-
tions are often practical ones: Will it work? How much will it cost? How long will it take? 3
Site to See
Go to
www.brighthub.com/ computing/windows- platform/articles/41661 .aspx
for examples of PowerPoint
presentations and other
resources.
Go to
Author Kathy Caprino finds
many experts in their fields
disappointing as public
speakers, noting that knowing
a topic and being able to
communicate well about it are
two different things. She has
five cardinal rules for avoiding
mistakes:
1. Meet the audience where
they are.
2. Make a heartfelt human
connection.
3. Show respect for the
listener.
4. Inspire follow-up thinking/
action.
5. Leave a lasting message of
significance.
Source: Kathy Caprino, “Why so Many ‘Experts’ Are Terrible
Speakers: Top 5 Public Speaking
Mistakes,” Forbes, November 16,
2011, http://www.forbes.com/
sites/kathycaprino/2011/11/16/
why-so-many-experts-are-terrible-
speakers-top-5-public-speaking-
mistakes/2/ .
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 326loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 326 12/31/12 3:31 PM12/31/12 3:31 PM
Confirming pages
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations 327
Think about the physical conditions in which you’ll be speaking. Will the audience
be tired at the end of a long day of listening? Sleepy after a big meal? Will the group be
large or small? The more you know about your audience, the better you can adapt your
message to the audience.
Choosing the Kind of Presentation
Choose one of three basic kinds of presentations: monologue, guided discussion, or sales.
In a monologue presentation, the speaker speaks without interruption; questions are held until the end of the presentation, where the speaker functions as an expert. The
speaker plans the presentation in advance and delivers it without deviation. This kind of
presentation is the most common in class situations, but it’s often boring for the audience.
Good delivery skills are crucial, since the audience is comparatively uninvolved.
Linda Driskill suggests that guided discussions offer a better way to present material and help an audience find a solution it can “buy into.” In a guided discussion, the speaker
presents the questions or issues that both speaker and audience have agreed on in advance.
Rather than functioning as an expert with all the answers, the speaker serves as a facilitator
to help the audience tap its own knowledge. This kind of presentation is excellent for pre-
senting the results of consulting projects, when the speaker has specialized knowledge, but
the audience must implement the solution if it is to succeed. Guided discussions need more
time than monologue presentations, but produce more audience response, more responses
involving analysis, and more commitment to the result. 4
A sales presentation is a conversation, even if the salesperson stands up in front of a group and uses charts and overheads. The sales representative uses questions to determine
the buyer’s needs, probe objections, and gain temporary and then final commitment to
the purchase. Even in a memorized sales presentation, the buyer will talk at least 30% of
the time. In a problem-solving sales presentation, the buyer may talk 70% of the time.
Adapting Your Ideas to the Audience
Measure the message you’d like to send against where your audience is now. If your audi-
ence is indifferent, skeptical, or hostile, focus on the part of your message the audience
will find most interesting and easiest to accept.
Don’t seek a major opinion change in a single oral presentation. If the audience has
already decided to hire an advertising agency, then a good presentation can convince them
that your agency is the one to hire. But if you’re talking to a small business that has always
done its own ads, limit your purpose. You may be able to prove that an agency can earn its
fees by doing things the owner can’t do and by freeing the owner’s time for other activities.
A second presentation may be needed to prove that an ad agency can do a better job than
Be careful of off-the-cuff
remarks when giving a
presentation, especially if
they involve such faux pas as
ethnic slurs. E. Gordon Gee,
president of The Ohio State
University and no stranger to
controversy from his speeches,
irked people when he likened
trying to coordinate 18 Ohio
State divisions to the Polish
Army. The comment may have
been meant as a humorous
aside, but it shocked enough
people for Gee to issue an
apology. Said the Polish
American Congress: “We are
dismayed by the bigotry and
ignorance expressed by the
President of such a large and
prominent American university.”
Sources: Andrew Welsh-Huggins, “Gee Has Another Verbal
Slip-Up,” January 11, 2012, The
Columbus Dispatch, http://www.
dispatch.com/content/stories/
local/2012/01/11/another-verbal-
slip-up-from-gee.html ; and Doug
Whiteman, “Gordon Gee, Ohio
President Regrets His Polish Joke,”
January 13, 2012, ttp://www.
huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/13/
gordon-gee-ohio-state-
pre_n_1205106.html .
Starbucks Coffee Company
CEO Howard Schultz dons
an apron to add flair to the
unveiling of the java giant’s new
credit card. He’s shown here
with Jamie Dimon, CEO of
J. P. Morgan Chase & Co.
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 327loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 327 12/31/12 3:31 PM12/31/12 3:31 PM
Confirming pages
328 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
the small business could do on its own. Only after the audience is receptive should you try
to persuade the audience to hire your agency rather than a competitor.
Make your ideas relevant to your audience by linking what you have to say to the audi-
ence’s experiences and interests. Showing your audience members that the topic affects
them directly is the most effective strategy. When you can’t do that, at least link the topic
to some everyday experience.
Planning Visuals and Other Devices to Involve the Audience
Visuals can give your presentation a professional image. One study found that in an
informative presentation, multimedia (PowerPoint slides with graphics and animation)
produced 5% more learning than overheads made from the slides and 16% more learn-
ing than text alone. In a sales presentation by two banks, multimedia (PowerPoint slides
with graphics, animation, and video) motivated 58% more students to choose that bank
compared to overheads and 60% more compared to text alone. Although the two banks
offered identical fees and services, students said that the bank represented by the multi-
media presentation “was more credible, was more professional, and offered better ser-
vices and fees.” 5
Use at least 18-point type for visuals you prepare with a word processor. When you pre-
pare slides with PowerPoint, Corel, or another presentation program, use at least 24-point
type for the smallest words.
Well-designed visuals can serve as an outline for your talk (see Figure 20.1 ), elimi-
nating the need for additional notes. Don’t try to put your whole talk on visuals. Visuals
should highlight your main points, not give every detail.
Use these guidelines to create and show visuals for presentations:
• Make only one point with each visual. Break a complicated point down into several
visuals.
• Give each visual a title that makes a point.
• Limit the amount of information on a visual. Use 35 words or less in seven lines or less;
use simple graphs, not complex ones.
• Don’t put your visual up till you’re ready to talk about it. Leave it up until your next
point; don’t turn the projector or overhead off.
• Use animation schemes such as fades, zooms, and wipes to control the information
displayed in a way that supports the main points. For example, in a sales presentation
for Portola Packaging, a bar graph showing sales growth was redesigned to highlight the
company’s strong performance. Static-looking bars were replaced with upward-sloping
arrows drawn from the initial sales level to the new, higher level. The presenter clicked
the mouse once to display the graph title and labels; with the second mouse click, the
arrows wiped upward, emphasizing the growth pattern. 6
See Module 25 for information on how to present numerical data through visuals.
Visuals work only if the technology they depend on works. When you give presenta-
tions in your own office, check the equipment in advance. When you make a presenta-
tion in another location or for another organization, arrive early so that you’ll have time
not only to check the equipment but also to track down a service worker if the equip-
ment isn’t working. Be prepared with a backup plan to use if you’re unable to show
your slides or videotape.
Instant Replay
Three Purposes
• Informative presentations inform or teach the
audience.
• Persuasive presentations motivate the audience to act
or to believe.
• Goodwill presentations entertain and validate the
audience.
Most oral presentations have
more than one purpose.
I R
Three Purpo
Even the experts can run
into problems while giving a
presentation. When Microsoft
executive Kirill Tatarinov
was unveiling a prototype
of Windows 8 to a room of
peers, his tablet computer
froze. Like any good presenter,
Tatarinov quickly recovered
because he had a backup
tablet in the event something
like this happened. Anticipating
problems—and having a
plan—is always a good idea
when preparing for an oral
presentation.
Source: Mike Lingle, “Windows 8 Demo Teaches Us a Thing
or Two About Presentations,”
March 20, 2012, http://www.
presentationagency.com/
sales_presentations/windows-8-
demo-teaches-us-a-thing-or-two-
about-presentations/#more-600 .
When was the last time you were hungry? Maybe you remember being hungry while
you were on a diet, or maybe you had to work late at a lab and didn’t get back to the
dorm in time for dinner.
Speech about world hunger to an audience of college students
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 328loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 328 12/31/12 3:32 PM12/31/12 3:32 PM
Confirming pages
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations 329
You can also involve the audience in other ways.
• A student giving a presentation on English–French business communication demonstrated
the differences in U.S. and French handshakes by asking a fellow class member to come
up to shake hands with her.
• Another student discussing the need for low-salt products brought in a container of
Morton salt, a measuring cup, a measuring spoon, and two plates. As he discussed
the body’s need for salt, he measured out three teaspoons onto one plate: the amount
the body needs in a month. As he discussed the amount of salt the average U.S. diet
provides, he continued to measure out salt onto the other plate, stopping only when he
had 1¼ pounds of salt—the amount in the average U.S. diet. The demonstration made
the discrepancy clear in a way words or even a chart could not have done. 7
• To make sure that his employees understood where money went, the CEO of a specialty
printing shop in Algoma, Wisconsin, printed up $2 million in play money and handed
out big cards to employees marked Labor, Depreciation, Interest, and so forth. Then he asked each “category” to come up and take its share of the revenues. The action was
more dramatic than a color pie chart could ever have been. 8
• Another speaker who was trying to raise funds used the simple act of asking people to
stand to involve them, to create emotional appeal, and to make a statistic vivid:
[A speaker] was talking to a luncheon club about contributing to the relief of an area that
had been hit by a tornado. The news report said that 70% of the people had been killed or
disabled. The room was set up with people at each round table. He asked three persons at
each table to stand. Then he said, “. . . You people sitting are dead or disabled. You three
standing have to take care of the mess. You’d need help, wouldn’t you?” 9
Instant Replay
Simplify
An oral presentation needs
to be simpler than a written
message to the same
audience.
I R
Simplify
Figure 20.1 PowerPoint Slides for an Informative Presentation
Site to See
Go to
www.wilderpresentations. com/free-tools/ before-after-slide-examples
Presentation expert Claudyne
Wilder’s before and after slides
show how to express ideas
visually in PowerPoint.
Go to
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 329loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 329 12/31/12 5:30 PM12/31/12 5:30 PM
Rev.confirming pages
330 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
How can I create a strong opener and close? LO 20-2
▶ Brainstorm several possibilities.
▶ The following four modes can help.
The beginning and end of a presentation, like the beginning and end of a written document, are
positions of emphasis. Use those key positions to interest the audience and emphasize your key
point. You’ll sound more natural and more effective if you talk from notes but write out your
opener and close in advance and memorize them. (They’ll be short: just a sentence or two.)
Brainstorm several possible openers for each of the four modes: startling statement,
narration or anecdote, question, or quotation. The more you can do to personalize your
opener for your audience, the better. Recent events are better than things that happened
long ago; local events are better than events at a distance; people they know are better than
people who are only names.
Startling Statement
Twelve of our customers have canceled orders in the past month.
This presentation to a company’s executive committee went on to show that the company’s
distribution system was inadequate and to recommend a third warehouse located in
the southwest.
Narration or Anecdote
When the salespeople for a company that sells storage of backed-up computer data give
presentations to clients, they open by telling a story:
Even the great Apple CEO Steve Jobs encountered
technology woes during presentations. Halfway into his
presentation during the June 2010 launch of the iPhone
4, Jobs lost his Internet connection and the demo
came to a screeching halt. Eventually, Jobs realized
the cause: Hundreds of attendees were also using the
hall’s Wi-Fi connection.
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 330loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 330 25/01/13 8:13 PM25/01/13 8:13 PM
Confirming pages
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations 331
This humorous anecdote breaks the ice in introducing an uncomfortable subject:
the possibility of a company losing valuable data. But it also points out that a vari-
ety of disasters are possible, many firms are unprepared, and the consequences are
great.
Even better than canned stories are anecdotes that happened to you. The best anecdotes
are parables that contain the point of your talk.
Question
Are you going to have enough money to do the things you want to when you retire?
This presentation to a group of potential clients discusses the value of using the services
of a professional financial planner to achieve one’s goals for retirement.
Quotation
According to Towers Perrin, the profits of Fortune 100 companies would be 25%
lower—they’d go down $17 billion—if their earnings statements listed the future costs
companies are obligated to pay for retirees’ health care.
This presentation on options for health care for retired employees urges executives to
start now to investigate options to cut the future cost.
Your opener should interest the audience and establish a rapport. Some speakers use
humor to achieve those goals. However, an inappropriate joke can turn the audience against
the speaker. Never use humor that’s directed against the audience. In contrast, speakers
who can make fun of themselves almost always succeed:
It’s both a privilege and a pressure to be here. 11
Humor isn’t the only way to set an audience at ease. Smile at audience members before
you begin; let them see that you’re a real person and a nice one.
The end of your presentation should be as strong as the opener. For your close, you
could do one or more of the following:
• Restate your main point.
• Refer to your opener to create a frame for your presentation.
• End with a vivid, positive picture.
• Tell the audience exactly what to do to solve the problem you’ve discussed.
The following close from a fund-raising speech combines a restatement of the main
point with a call for action, telling the audience what to do.
A consultant asked a group of people how many of them had [a backup plan]. One brave
soul from a bank raised his hand and said, “I’ve got a disaster recovery plan—complete
and ready to go into action. It’s real simple, just one page.” And the consultant asked,
“A one-page disaster plan? What could you do if your computer center blew up, or
flooded, or caught on fire? How could you recover with just a one-page disaster plan?”
He said, “Well, it’s really very simple. It’s a two-step plan. First, I maintain my résumé
up-to-date at all times. And second, I store a backup copy off-site.” 10
A spoken poetry exercise
got everyone’s attention, but
perhaps not in the way that
was intended. Visiting poets
to the Horace Mann School
told students to write words
anonymously on index cards
that would be read aloud at
random. To the surprise of
the 700 faculty and students
in attendance, included were
slurs against homosexuals
and African Americans. The
words had appeared in an
earlier work by the poets but
were meant to critique bigoted
beliefs—out of context, they
had a very different effect on
many people in attendance.
While school officials
apologized for the event, one
student, Esther Ademola,
remarked: “Words and ideas
were thrown around that I’ve
heard expressed in hallways,
classrooms, and the cafeteria.
I personally have been subject
to remarks much worse than
those shared on stage.”
Source: Fernanda Santos, “Students Repeat a Poem’s
Slurs, Surprising the Poets and
an Elite Bronx School ,” The
New York Times, November
4, 2011, http://www.nytimes.
com/2011/11/05/nyregion/
horace-mann-students-repeat-
poets-slurs-to-schools-dismay.
html?_r=2&partner=rss&emc=rss .
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 331loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 331 12/31/12 3:32 PM12/31/12 3:32 PM
Confirming pages
332 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Plain and simple, we need money to run the foundation, just like you need money to
develop new products. We need money to make this work. We need money from you.
Pick up that pledge card. Fill it out. Turn it in at the door as you leave. Make it a state-
ment about your commitment . . . make it a big statement. 12
Speaking to nonscientists about his challenging work in science, Mike Powell ended
with this anecdote:
The final speaker at a medical conference [I] attended . . . walked to the lectern and
said, “I am a 32-year-old wife and mother of two. I have AIDS. Please work fast.” 13
The story drives home the human value of what scientists do.
When you write out your opener and close, be sure to use oral rather than written
style. As you can see in the example, oral style uses shorter sentences and shorter,
simpler words than writing does. Oral style can even sound a bit choppy when it is
read by eye. Oral style uses more personal pronouns, a less varied vocabulary, and
more repetition.
How should I organize a presentation? LO 20-4
▶ Start with the main point. Often, one of five standard patterns will work.
Most presentations use a direct pattern of organization, even when the goal is to persuade
a reluctant audience. In a business setting, the audience members are in a hurry and know
that you want to persuade them. Be honest about your goals, and then prove that your goal
meets the audience’s needs too.
Openers and closes in speeches should get the attention of your audience, but they should also
be appropriate to the situation.
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com , Pwww.cartoonstock.com .
Used appropriately, humor can
work wonders in a speech.
In his recent commencement
address at Princeton University,
Steve Carell spoke of the
differences in interpersonal
communication styles between
his generation and the next.
“When I was in college, I
wouldn’t ‘text’ a girl to ask her
out on a date. I would ask her,
in person. One human being
to another. And when she said
‘No,’ which she always did,
I would suffer the humiliation
and self-loathing that a young
man needs for his, or her,
personal growth.”
Source: Alexander Abad-Santos, “The Best Commencement
Speeches of 2012,” The
Atlantic, June 8, 2012, http://
www.theatlanticwire.com/
national/2012/06/commencement-
speeches-we-wish-we-had-
graduation/53341/ .
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 332loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 332 12/31/12 3:32 PM12/31/12 3:32 PM
Confirming pages
333
In a persuasive presentation, start with your strongest point, your best reason. If time
permits, give other reasons as well and respond to possible objections. Put your weakest
point in the middle so you can end on a strong note.
Often, one of five standard patterns of organization will work.
• Chronological. Start with the past, move to the present, and end by looking ahead. • Problem-Causes-Solution. Explain the symptoms of the problem, identify its causes,
and suggest a solution. This pattern works best when the audience will find your
solution easy to accept.
• Excluding alternatives. Explain the symptoms of the problem. Explain the obvious solutions first and show why they won’t solve the problem. End by discussing a solution
that will work. This pattern may be necessary when the audience will find the solution
hard to accept.
• Pro-Con. Give all the reasons in favor of something, and then those against it. This pattern works well when you want the audience to see the weaknesses in its
position.
• 1-2-3. Discuss three aspects of a topic. This pattern works well to organize short informative briefings. “Today I’ll review our sales, production, and profits for the last
quarter.”
Early in your talk—perhaps immediately after your opener—provide an overview of the main points you will make.
A good voice supports and enhances good content. Your best
voice will manipulate pitch, intonation, tempo, and volume.
Sound energetic and enthusiastic.
Pitch
Pitch measures whether a voice uses sounds that are low (like the bass notes on a piano) or high. Low-pitched voices are usu-
ally perceived as being more authoritative, sexier, and more
pleasant to listen to than are high-pitched voices. Most voices
go up in pitch when the speaker is angry or excited; some people
raise pitch when they increase volume. Women whose normal
speaking voices are high may need to practice projecting their
voices to avoid becoming shrill when they speak to large groups.
To find your best pitch, try humming. The pitch where the
hum sounds loudest and most resonant is your best voice.
Intonation
Intonation marks variation in pitch, stress, or tone. Speak- ers who use many changes in pitch, stress, and tone usually
seem more enthusiastic; often they also seem more energetic
and more intelligent. Someone who speaks in a monotone may
seem apathetic or unintelligent. Non-native speakers whose first
language does not use tone, pitch, and stress to convey meaning
and attitude may need to practice varying these voice qualities.
Avoid raising your voice at the end of a sentence, however.
In English, a rising intonation signals a question. Therefore,
speakers who end sentences on higher tones sound as though
they’re unsure of what they’re saying.
Tempo
Tempo is a measure of speed. In a conversation, match your tempo to the other speaker’s to build rapport. In a formal presen-
tation, you’ll need to speak more slowly and have longer pauses
than in an informal conversation. Vary your tempo. Speakers
who speak quickly and who vary their volume during the talk
are more likely to be perceived as competent.
Volume
Volume is a measure of loudness or softness. Very soft voices, especially if they are also breathy and high-pitched, give the
impression of youth and inexperience. People who do a lot of
speaking to large groups need to practice projecting their voices
so they can increase their volume without shouting.
Sources: George B. Ray, “Vocally Cued Personality Prototypes: An Implicit Personality Theory Approach,” Communication Monographs 53, no. 3 (1986): 266–76; and Jacklyn Boice, “Verbal Impressions,” Selling Power, March 2000, 69.
Building a Critical Skill
Finding Your Best Voice LO 20-3
Film critic Roger Ebert lost
his voice to cancer. He later
regained it—literally. Engineers
at CereProc used recordings
from DVD commentary tracks
to reconstruct Ebert’s voice
electronically, letting him speak
using a computer. Some may
disagree with the solution, but
to Ebert, it was another option
for communicating.
Source: Roger Ebert, “Hello, This Is Me Speaking,” The Chicago Sun-
Times, February 26, 2010, http://
rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/
pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100226/
PEOPLE/100229986 .
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 333loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 333 12/31/12 3:32 PM12/31/12 3:32 PM
Confirming pages
334 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
First, I’d like to talk about who the homeless in Columbus are. Second, I’ll talk about
the services The Open Shelter provides. Finally, I’ll talk about what you—either indi-
vidually or as a group—can do to help.
An overview provides a mental peg that hearers can hang each point on. It also can
prevent someone missing what you are saying because he or she wonders why you aren’t
covering a major point that you’ve saved for later. 14
Offer a clear signpost as you come to each new point. A signpost is an explicit statement of the point you have reached. Choose wording that fits your style. The following state-
ments are four different ways that a speaker could use to introduce the last of three points:
Now we come to the third point: what you can do as a group or as individuals to help
homeless people in Columbus.
So much for what we’re doing. Now let’s talk about what you can do to help.
You may be wondering, what can I do to help?
As you can see, The Open Shelter is trying to do many things. We could do more things
with your help.
What are the keys to delivering an effective presentation? LO 20-5
▶ Turn your fear into energy, look at the audience, and use natural gestures.
Audience members want the sense that you’re talking directly to them and that you care
that they understand and are interested. They’ll forgive you if you get tangled up in a sen-
tence and end it ungrammatically. They won’t forgive you if you seem to have a “canned”
talk that you’re going to deliver no matter who the listeners are or how they respond. You
can convey a sense of caring to your audience by making direct eye contact and by using
a conversational style.
Transforming Fear
Feeling nervous is normal. But you can harness that nervous energy to help you do your
best work. As one student said, you don’t need to get rid of your butterflies. All you need
to do is make them fly in formation.
To calm your nerves as you prepare to give an oral presentation,
• Be prepared. Analyze your audience, organize your thoughts, prepare visual aids,
practice your opener and close, check out the arrangements.
• Use only the amount of caffeine you normally use. More or less may make you jumpy.
Site to See
Go to
www.youtube.com
and type “meeting” and
“presentations” to view video
examples.
Go to
Instant Replay
Humor
An inappropriate joke can
turn the audience against the
speaker. Never use humor that’s
directed against the audience.
In contrast, speakers who can
make fun of themselves almost
always succeed.
I R
Humor
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 334loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 334 12/31/12 3:33 PM12/31/12 3:33 PM
Confirming pages
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations 335
• Avoid alcoholic beverages.
• Use positive emphasis (◀◀ Module 7). Instead of saying, “I’m scared,” try saying, “My adrenaline is up.” Adrenaline sharpens our reflexes and helps us do our best.
Just before your presentation,
• Consciously contract and then relax your muscles, starting with your feet and calves
and going up to your shoulders, arms, and hands.
• Take several deep breaths from your diaphragm.
During your presentation,
• Pause and look at the audience before you begin speaking.
• Concentrate on communicating well.
• Use body energy in strong gestures and movement.
Using Eye Contact
Look directly at the people you’re talking to. In one study, speakers who looked more at
the audience during a seven-minute informative speech were judged to be better informed,
more experienced, more honest, and friendlier than speakers who delivered the same infor-
mation with less eye contact. 15
An earlier study found that speakers judged sincere looked
at the audience 63% of the time, while those judged insincere looked at the audience only
21% of the time. 16
The point in making eye contact is to establish one-on-one contact with the individ-
ual members of your audience. People want to feel that you’re talking to them. Looking
directly at individuals also enables you to be more conscious of feedback from the audi-
ence so you can modify your approach if necessary.
Standing and Gesturing
Stand with your feet far enough apart for good balance, with your knees flexed. Unless
the presentation is very formal or you’re on camera, you can walk if you want to. Some
speakers like to come in front of the lectern to remove that barrier between themselves and
the audience.
If you use slides or transparencies, stand beside the screen so you don’t block it.
Build on your natural style for gestures. Gestures usually work best when they’re big
and confident.
Using Notes and Visuals
Unless you’re giving a very short presentation, you’ll probably want to use notes. Even
experts use notes. The more you know about the subject, the greater the temptation to add
relevant points that occur to you as you talk. Adding an occasional point can help to clarify
something for the audience, but adding too many points will destroy your outline and put
you over the time limit.
Put your notes on cards or on sturdy pieces of paper. Most speakers like to use 4-by-
6-inch or 5-by-7-inch cards because they hold more information. Your notes need to be
complete enough to help you if you go blank, so use long phrases or complete sentences.
Under each main point, jot down the evidence or illustration you’ll use. Indicate where
you’ll refer to visuals.
Look at your notes infrequently. Most of your gaze time should be directed to members
of the audience. Hold your notes high enough so that your head doesn’t bob up and down
like a yo-yo as you look from the audience to your notes and back again.
Fear of public speaking tops
the list in the United States,
with death at number two! But
strategies exist to turn that
fear into strength. Preston Ni
reminds speakers to avoid
equating public speaking with
self-worth, and among the
tips offered by Bakari Akil is
to visualize success at doing
it. Psychologist Sian Beilock
recommends alleviating stress
by practicing to perform well,
putting worries down in writing
so they are less likely to come
up during the presentation, and
distracting negative thoughts
with positive ones.
Sources: Preston Ni, “Overcome the Top Fear in America: Reduce
Public Speaking Nervousness,”
AsianWeek, November 3,
2008, http://www.asianweek.
com/2008/11/03/overcome-
the-top-fear-in-america-reduce-
public-speaking-nervousness/ ;
Bakari Akil, “Public Speaking:
When Running Is Not an Option,”
Psychology Today, September 25,
2009, http://www.psychologytoday.
com/blog/communication-
central/200909/public-speaking-
when-running-is-not-option ; and
Michelle Gerdes, “Fighting the Fear
of Public Speaking,” The Wall Street
Journal, August 8, 2011, http://
blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2011/08/08/
fighting-the-fear-of-public-speaking/ .
Former vice-presidential
candidate Sarah Palin piqued
viewers’ curiosity—and faced
some mockery—when she
appeared to be reading crib
notes from her palm during an
interview. Known for her folksy
delivery, the former Alaska
governor, who hours earlier
had criticized President Barack
Obama for using teleprompters,
(continued)
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 335loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 335 12/31/12 3:33 PM12/31/12 3:33 PM
Confirming pages
336 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
If you have lots of visuals and know your topic well, you won’t need notes. Put the
screen to the side so you won’t block it. Face the audience, not the screen. With trans-
parencies, you can use color marking pens to call attention to your points as you talk.
Show the entire visual at once: Don’t cover up part of it. If you don’t want the audience
to read ahead, prepare several visuals that build up. In your overview, for example, the
first visual could list your first point, the second the first and second, and the third all
three points.
Keep the room lights on if possible; turning them off makes it easier for people to fall
asleep and harder for them to concentrate on you.
How should I handle questions from the audience? LO 20-6
▶ Anticipate questions that might be asked. Be honest.
▶ Rephrase biased or hostile questions.
Prepare for questions by listing every fact or opinion you can think of that challenges
your position. Treat each objection seriously and try to think of a way to deal with it. If
you’re talking about a controversial issue, you may want to save one point for the question
period, rather than making it during the presentation. Speakers who have visuals to answer
questions seem especially well prepared.
During your presentation, tell the audience how you’ll handle questions. If you have a
choice, save questions for the end. In your talk, answer the questions or objections that you
expect your audience to have. Don’t exaggerate your claims so that you won’t have to back
down in response to questions later.
During the question period, don’t nod your head to indicate that you understand a ques-
tion as it is asked. Audiences will interpret nods as signs that you agree with the questioner.
Instead, look directly at the questioner. As you answer the question, expand your focus to
take in the entire group. Don’t say, “That’s a good question.” That response implies that the
other questions have been poor ones.
If the audience may not have heard the question or if you want more time to think,
repeat the question before you answer it. Link your answers to the points you made in your
presentation. Keep the purpose of your presentation in mind, and select information that
advances your goals.
If a question is hostile or biased, rephrase it before you answer it. “You’re asking
whether. . . .” Or suggest an alternative question: “I think there are problems with both the
positions you describe. It seems to me that a third solution which is better than either of
them is. . . .”
Occasionally someone will ask a question that is really designed to state the speaker’s
own position. Respond to the question if you want to. Another option is to say, “I’m not
sure what you’re asking” or even “That’s a clear statement of your position. Let’s move
to the next question now.” If someone asks about something that you already explained in
your presentation, simply answer the question without embarrassing the questioner. No
audience will understand and remember 100% of what you say.
If you don’t know the answer to a question, say so. If your purpose is to inform, write
down the question so you can look up the answer before the next session. If it’s a question
to which you think there is no answer, ask if anyone in the room knows. When no one does,
your “ignorance” is vindicated. If an expert is in the room, you may want to refer questions
of fact to him or her. Answer questions of interpretation yourself.
At the end of the question period—or at the end of your talk, if there are no questions—
take two minutes to summarize your main point once more. (This can be a restatement of
your close.) Questions may or may not focus on the key point of your talk. Take advantage
of having the floor to repeat your message briefly and forcefully.
Handle questions carefully. The
U.S. Supreme Court refused
to reconsider the conviction
of a man whose silence while
being questioned by police
was later used as evidence
against him in a manslaughter
trial. Patrick Canella had
agreed to waive his right to
remain silent and answered
some of the questions posed
to him but was mum on
potentially incriminating issues.
Prosecutors argued that rather
than Canella’s silence, it was
his “willingness to talk to the
police and the fact that he gave
an incomplete and inaccurate
exculpatory statement” that
helped to convict him.
Source: Warren Richey, “Can Silence Before an Arrest Be Used
at Trial? Supreme Court Refuses
Case,” The Christian Science
Monitor, February 21, 2012,
http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/
Justice/2012/0221/Can-silence-
before-an-arrest-be-used-at-trial-
Supreme-Court-refuses-case .
Instant Replay
Overviews and Signposts
Immediately after your opener,
provide an overview of the main points you will make. Offer a clear signpost as you
come to each new point. A
signpost is an explicit statement of the point you have reached.
I R
Overviews a
had “Energy, Budget cuts, Tax,
Lift American Spirits” written on
her hand, though “Budget” was
crossed out.
Source: Mike Krumboltz, “Palin’s Palm Holds the Answers,”
downloaded on February 9,
2010, at http://buzz.yahoo.com/
buzzlog/93375?fp=1 .
(continued)
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 336loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 336 12/31/12 3:33 PM12/31/12 3:33 PM
Confirming pages
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations 337
What are the guidelines for group presentations? LO 20-7
▶ In the best presentations, voices take turns within each point.
Plan carefully to involve as many members of the group as possible in speaking roles.
The easiest way to make a group presentation is to outline the presentation and then
divide the topics, giving one to each group member. Another member can be responsible
for the opener and the close. During the question period, each member answers questions
that relate to his or her topic.
In this kind of divided presentation, be sure to
• Plan transitions.
• Enforce time limits strictly.
• Coordinate your visuals so that the presentation seems a coherent whole.
• Practice the presentation as a group at least once; more is better.
The best group presentations are even more fully integrated: together, the members of
the group
• Write a very detailed outline.
• Choose points and examples.
• Create visuals.
Then, within each point, speakers take turns. This presentation is most effective because each voice speaks only a minute or two before a new voice comes in. However, it works
only when all group members know the subject well and when the group plans carefully
and practices extensively.
Whatever form of group presentation you use, be sure to introduce each member of the
team to the audience at the beginning of the presentation and to use the next person’s name
when you change speakers: “Now, Jason will explain how we evaluated the web pages.”
Pay close attention to who is speaking. If other members of the team seem uninterested in
the speaker, the audience gets the sense that that speaker isn’t worth listening to.
Nick Morgan advocates
rehearsing presentations—
“People who ‘wing it’ usually
betray their lack of preparation
in their body language”—but
recommends avoiding more
than one rehearsal on the
day of the presentation.
He notes that stage actors
often rehearse for weeks, so
there’s good reason for public
speakers to rehearse a lot.
Source: Nick Morgan, “When Is Rehearsing a Presentation a Bad
Idea?” Forbes, March 8, 2012,
http://www.forbes.com/sites/
nickmorgan/2012/03/08/when-is-
rehearsing-a-presentation-a-bad-
idea/ .
• An oral presentation needs to be simpler than a written message
to the same audience. (LO 20-1) • In a monologue presentation, the speaker plans the presenta-
tion in advance and delivers it without deviation. In a guided discussion, the speaker presents the questions or issues that both speaker and audience have agreed on in advance. Rather
than functioning as an expert with all the answers, the speaker
serves as a facilitator to help the audience tap its own knowl-
edge. A sales presentation is a conversation using questions to determine the buyer’s needs, probe objections, and gain provi-
sional and then final commitment to the purchase. (LO 20-1) • Adapt your message to your audience’s beliefs, experience, and
interests. (LO 20-1) • Use the beginning and end of the presentation to interest the
audience and emphasize your key point. (LO 20-1) • Using visuals makes a speaker seem more prepared, more inter-
esting, and more persuasive. (LO 20-1) • Ways to open or close a presentation include using a star-
tling statement, narration or anecdote, question, or quotation.
(LO 20-2)
• A good voice supports and enhances good content. To find
your best voice, focus on pitch, intonation, tempo, and volume.
Sound energetic and enthusiastic. (LO 20-3) • Use a direct pattern of organization. Put your strongest reason
first. (LO 20-4) • Limit your talk to three main points. Early in your talk—
perhaps immediately after your opener—provide an overview of the main points you will make. Offer a clear signpost as you come to each new point. A signpost is an explicit statement of the point you have reached. (LO 20-4)
• To calm your nerves as you prepare to give an oral presentation,
(LO 20-5) • Be prepared. Analyze your audience, organize your thoughts,
prepare visual aids, practice your opener and close, check
out the arrangements.
• Use only the amount of caffeine you normally use.
• Avoid alcoholic beverages.
• Relabel your nerves. Instead of saying, “I’m scared,” try
saying, “My adrenaline is up.” Adrenaline sharpens our
reflexes and helps us do our best.
Summary of Learning Objectives
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 337loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 337 12/31/12 3:33 PM12/31/12 3:33 PM
Rev.confirming pages
338 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
Just before your presentation,
• Consciously contract and then relax your muscles, starting
with your feet and calves and going up to your shoulders,
arms, and hands.
• Take several deep breaths from your diaphragm.
During your presentation,
• Pause and look at the audience before you begin speaking.
• Concentrate on communicating well.
• Use body energy in strong gestures and movement.
• Convey a sense of caring to audience members by making
direct eye contact with them and by using a conversational style.
(LO 20-5)
• Treat questions as opportunities to give more detailed infor-
mation than you had time to give in your presentation. Link
your answers to the points you made in your presentation.
(LO 20-6) • Repeat the question before you answer it if the audience
may not have heard it or if you want more time to think.
Rephrase hostile or biased questions before you answer them.
(LO 20-6) • The best group presentations result when the group writes a
very detailed outline, chooses points and examples, and cre-
ates visuals together. Then, within each point, voices trade off.
(LO 20-7)
Assignments for Module 20
20.1 How are monologue presentations, guided discussions, and sales presentations alike and different? (LO 20-1)
20.2 What are the four modes for openers? (LO 20-2)
20.3 What does maintaining eye contact and smiling do for a presentation? (LO 20-5)
Questions for Comprehension
20.4 If you use presentation software, will you automatically have strong visuals? (LO 20-1)
20.5 Why should you plan a strong close, rather than just saying, “Well, that’s it”? (LO 20-2)
20.6 Why does an oral presentation have to be simpler than a written message to the same audience? (LO 20-2)
20.7 What are the advantages and disadvantages of using humor? (LO 20-2)
Questions for Critical Thinking
As Your Instructor Directs,
Make a 5- to 12-minute presentation on one of the follow-
ing. Use visuals to make your talk effective.
a. Show why your unit is important to the organization
and either should be exempt from downsizing or should
receive additional resources.
b. Persuade your supervisor to make a change that will
benefit the organization.
c. Persuade your organization to make a change that will
improve the organization’s image in the community.
d. Persuade classmates to donate time or money to a chari-
table organization. (Read Module 12.)
e. Persuade an employer that you are the best person for
the job.
f. Use another problem in this book as the basis for your
presentation.
2.10 Analyze a discourse community.
2.11 Analyze an organization’s corporate culture.
13.9 Announcing Holiday Diversity
23.10 Summarize the results of a survey you have conducted.
24.9 Summarize the results of your research.
20.9 Making a Longer Oral Presentation (LO 20-1 to LO 20-7)
Exercises and Problems
1.8 Discuss three of your strengths.
2.13 Analyze your supervisor.
11.10 Tell your boss about a problem in your unit and recommend a solution.
26.10 Explain one of the challenges (e.g., technology, ethics, international competition) that the field you hope to enter is
facing.
26.11 Profile a company you would like to work for and explain why you think it would be a good employer.
29.10 Explain your interview strategy.
20.8 Making a Short Oral Presentation (LO 20-1 to LO 20-7)
As Your Instructor Directs,
Make a short (2- to 5-minute) presentation, with three to
eight slides, on one of the following topics:
a. Explain how what you’ve learned in classes, in campus
activities, or at work will be useful to the employer who
hires you after graduation.
b. Profile someone who is successful in the field you hope
to enter and explain what makes him or her successful.
c. Describe a specific situation in an organization in which
communication was handled well or badly.
d. Make a short presentation based on another problem in
this book.
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 338loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 338 25/01/13 9:59 PM25/01/13 9:59 PM
Some words are more formal than others. Generally, business mes-
sages call for a middle-of-the-road formality, not too formal, but
not so casual as to seem sloppy.
Formal and stuffy Short and simple ameliorate improve
commence begin, start
enumerate list
finalize finish, complete
prioritize rank
utilize use
viable option choice
Sloppy Casual goofed up confused
diss criticize
guess assume
haggle negotiate
nosy curious
wishy-washy indecisive, flexible
What makes choosing words so challenging is that the level
of formality changes depending on your purposes, the audience,
and the situation. What’s just right for a written report will be too
formal for an oral presentation or an advertisement. The level of
formality that works in one discourse community may be inappro-
priate for another.
Listen to the language that people in your discourse commu-
nity use. What words seem to have positive connotations? What
words persuade? As you identify these terms, use them in your
own messages.
Exercises
Choose the better word or phrase in each pair of square brackets for
written documents. Justify your choice.
1. The meeting with Cochran, Weiss, and Landon went very well,
and what we must do now is [finalize/complete] our bid specs.
2. Jade Henry [ameliorated/improved] our chances of getting the
contract by submitting an excellent proposal.
3. The first thing I noticed about Nanda is that she is skilled at
[haggling/negotiation].
4. Until our offer is accepted, we should be [wishy-washy/flex-
ible] with our schedule.
5. Franz let us know that he is willing to give us [viable options/
choices] for which program to use.
6. Our [nosy/curious] neighbor stopped by to see the new signage
and was more than happy to [criticize/diss] our hard work.
7. I’m pleased that Dalton [enumerated/listed] the executives
who will be attending the meeting in Olathe, but I’m concerned
that he may have [prioritized/ranked] them inappropriately.
8. We should carefully [consider/think about] the qualities we
want in an office [employee/staffer], especially if we plan to
[proffer/offer] a job to anyone.
9. Before anyone [expunges/erases] old files, Gary told us, they
should [have/possess] a good reason to not [keep/retain] them.
10. Karen Ling [said/pronounced] that we are to [help/assist]
customers [ascertain/figure out] what they [want/desire] and
where it [is/exists] in the store.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered questions at the back of the book.
Choosing Levels of Formality
Polishing Your Prose
Unit 5 Cases for Communicators
We tend to think that people are naturally charismatic, but
researchers decided to put that belief to the test. A team of sci-
entists from the University of Lausanne Business School took
managers from a large Swiss company and divided them into two
groups. One group received a training course in charisma and the
other did not.
The course consisted of a lecture on the principles of charis-
matic leadership. It also included watching videos, including
scenes from popular films like Dead Poets Society, and presenta- tions, and giving them a feedback report. Before the training and
The Charismatic Communicator
Source: Mark van Vugt, “Can Charisma Be Taught?” Psychology Today, May 5, 2012, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/naturally-selected/
201205/can-charisma-be-taught .
Rev.confirming pages
Module 20 Making Oral Presentations 339
As Your Instructor Directs,
Make a 5- to 12-minute presentation using visuals.
Use another problem in this book as the basis for your
presentation.
3.12 Show how cultural differences can lead to miscommunication.
5.14 Evaluate the design of three web pages.
12.22 Recommend an investment for your instructor.
18.10 Recommend a policy on student entrepreneurs.
18.14 Present brochures you have designed to the class.
24.9 Summarize the results of your research.
29.8 Share the advice of students currently on the job market.
20.10 Making a Group Oral Presentation (LO 20-1 to LO 20-7)
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 339loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 339 25/01/13 9:57 PM25/01/13 9:57 PM
several months after, the managers were assessed by co-workers on
how charismatic they were. They improved significantly.
A second study videotaped MBA students before and after the
training. The results, once again, showed improvement.
The researchers believe a variety of learnable qualities help
to make a person more charismatic. These include using meta-
phors and anecdotes, displaying moral conviction, and setting
high expectations for yourself and others. Communicating con-
fidence and using rhetorical questions also help. Nearly all of the
identified qualities involve improved communication, meaning
that being a better communicator may translate into being more
charismatic.
Individual Activity
Imagine you are the director of training at a large corporation. You
have been given the task of developing an unconventional training
plan for 50 sales employees to improve interpersonal communica-
tion and, thus, charisma. The plan should include group exercises
designed to develop trust, encourage participation, and relieve
tension among group members. The training could take place in
a location of your choice that will complement the goals of your
unconventional training plan and will take up a regular workday.
Create an agenda for your plan. Consider the following topics
as you organize your day of training:
• What aspects of interpersonal communication are important to
address?
• What interpersonal communication problems could develop
between employees and customers?
• What are some creative ways to address these problems?
• What roles do people play in groups?
• In which kind of role-playing exercises could the group address
problems?
• What are some exercises the group could do to learn how to
work together effectively?
• What kind of group activity would address the importance of
listening?
Group Activity
Your group has been asked to write a 500-word essay on how
unconventional training can be used to teach stronger teamwork
skills. As a team, create and polish this document.
Plan the work and document as a group. In this process, discuss
the following questions:
• What is the purpose of this document?
• Who is the audience?
• What organization, format, and style should the essay have?
Once the planning is done, begin drafting the essay together.
Next, evaluate the content and discuss possible revisions as a
group. If your discussions stall over questions of style, remember
that business writing can embrace different styles but the document
should have a unified voice.
With a solid revision in hand, you are ready to edit and proof-
read. This stage might be very important because of the writing
styles and levels of expertise involved. Be sure to have at least one
person check the document for grammar, mechanics, accuracy, and
completeness.
After you have completed the document, discuss the following
questions as a team:
• Did the majority of team members work actively on the project?
• Can you identify the positive roles and actions demonstrated
during the writing process? (For example, did anyone encour-
age participation?)
• Can you identify any negative roles and actions demonstrated
during the writing process? (For example, did a group member
attempt to dominate the group?)
• Can you identify an informational leader, interpersonal leader,
and procedural leader in your group?
Finally, reflect as a group on the issue of conflict. Did conflict
arise during the project? If so, did you work as a team to iden-
tify the source and type of conflict and then follow the appropriate
steps to resolve the issue?
Confirming pages
340 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 340loc03261_ch20_325-340.indd 340 12/31/12 3:33 PM12/31/12 3:33 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports
Module 23 Short Reports Module 24 Long Reports
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information
Module 25 Using Visuals
Research, Reports, and Visuals 6
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 341loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 341 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
342
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
R eports provide the information that people in organizations need to make plans and solve
problems.
Writing any report includes five basic steps:
1. Define the problem.
2. Gather the necessary information.
3. Analyze the information.
4. Organize the information.
5. Write the report.
After reviewing the varieties of reports, this module focuses on the first step. Module 22 discusses
the second and third steps. Modules 23 and 24 illustrate the fourth and fifth steps.
Other modules that are useful for writing reports are Modules 12, 18, 20, and 25.
LO 21-1 Define reports in the workplace.
LO 21-2 Estimate time for business proposal writing.
LO 21-3 Identify sections for business proposal organization.
LO 21-4 Identify “hot buttons” for business proposal strategies and beyond.
LO 21-5 Identify sections for progress report organization.
Module 21 describes how to write successful proposals and progress reports. After completing the
module, you should be able to
Proposals and Progress Reports 21
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 342loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 342 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 343
What is a “report”? LO 21-1
▶ Many different kinds of documents are called reports.
In some organizations, a report is a long document or a document that contains numerical
data. In others, one- and two-page memos are called reports. In still others, reports consist of PowerPoint slides printed out and bound together. A short report to a client may use a
letter format. Formal reports contain formal elements such as a title page, a transmittal, a table of contents, and a list of illustrations. Informal reports may be letters and memos or even computer printouts of production or sales figures.
Reports can just provide information, both provide information and analyze it, or pro-
vide information and analysis to support a recommendation (see Figure 21.1 ). Reports can
be called information reports if they collect data for the reader, analytical reports if they interpret data but do not recommend action, and recommendation reports if they recom- mend action or a solution.
What should I do before I write a proposal? LO 21-2
▶ Finish at least one-fourth of your research!
As Figure 21.2 suggests, before you draft a proposal, you not only need to do the analysis that you’d do for any message, but you also need to complete part of your research—
usually about one-fourth of the total research you’ll need to do for a class project. You’ll
use this research both to define the problem your report will discuss and to identify the
topics you’ll investigate. Fortunately, if these parts of the proposal are well written, they
can be used with minor changes in the report itself.
Narrow your problem. For example, “improving the college experiences of interna-
tional students studying in the United States” is far too broad. First, choose one college
or university. Second, identify the specific problem. Do you want to increase the social
interaction between U.S. and international students? Help international students find
housing? Increase the number of ethnic grocery stores and restaurants? Third, identify
Feasibility studies often reveal
surprising information. A UBS
study noted that a plan to fund
a $975 million stadium for
the Minnesota Vikings mostly
with public dollars was a bad
idea because “independent
academic research studies
consistently conclude that new
stadiums and arenas have no
measurable effect on the level
of real income or employment
in the metropolitan areas
in which they are located.”
Those words echo findings
in Mark Perryman’s Why the
Olympics Aren’t Good for Us
and How They Can Be, which
chronicles bust periods after
the Olympics are over, noting
in particular how Greece faced
a $784 million cost to maintain
crumbling facilities after the
2004 games. The price tag of
potential accidents from shale
gas extraction was calculated
by a group of Yale University
economics graduates to be
$250 million annually—against
the estimated $100 billion in
yearly economic benefits.
Sources: Mike Ozanian, “Vikings Stadium Not Likely to
Help Minnesota’s Economy,”
Forbes, May 4, 2012, http://
www.forbes.com/sites/
mikeozanian/2012/05/04/
vikings-stadium-not-likely-to-
help-minnesotas-economy/; Mark
Perryman, “Do the Olympics Boost
the Economy? Studies Show the
Impact Is Likely Negative,” July 30,
2012, http://www.thedailybeast.
com/articles/2012/07/30/
do-the-olympics-boost-the-
economy-studies-show-the-
impact-is-likely-negative.
html; and Christopher Helman,
“The Arithmetic of Shale
Gas,” Forbes, June 22, 2012,
http://www.forbes.com/sites/
christopherhelman/2012/06/22/
the-arithmetic-of-shale-gas/2/.
Figure 21.1 Three Levels of Reports
Reports Can Provide
Information only
• Sales reports (sales figures for the week or month).
• Quarterly reports (figures showing a plant’s productivity and profits for the quarter).
Information plus analysis
• Annual reports (financial data and an organization’s accomplishments during the past year).
• Audit reports (interpretations of the facts revealed during an audit).
• Make-good or pay-back reports (calculations of the point at which a new capital investment will pay for itself).
Information plus analysis plus a recommendation
• Feasibility reports evaluate two or more alternatives and recommend which alternative the organization should choose.
• Justification reports justify the need for a purchase, an investment, a new personnel line, or a change in procedure.
• Problem-solving reports identify the causes of an organizational problem and recommend a solution.
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 343loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 343 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
344 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Site to See
Go to
www.cdc.gov/mmwr/ mmwr_rr/rr_pvol.html
for sample recommendation
reports from the Centers for
Disease Control.
Figure 21.2 Allocating Time in Writing a Proposal (Your time may vary.)
Proposal to write a report studying alternative dispute resolution. Total time: 30 hours
Planning
Read the Request for Proposal (RFP).
Gather necessary materials (costs, bios of personnel, etc.).
Identify and narrow the problem.
Complete preliminary research.
Talk to people about the issue.
Prepare a bibliography and read as many of the sources as possible.
Construct a questionnaire.
Identify the topics you’ll investigate for the report.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1).
Think about document design (◀◀ Module 5).
Organize the message.
15 hours
Writing
Draft the proposal.
5 hours
Revising
Reread draft.
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions and RFP.
Revise draft.
Ask for feedback.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Initial a memo proposal; sign a letter proposal.
Make the necessary copies and distribute.
10 hours
the specific audience that would have the power to implement your recommendations.
Depending on the topic, the audience might be the Office of International Studies, the
residence hall counselors, a service organization on campus or in town, a store, or a
group of investors.
How you define the problem shapes the solutions you find. For example, suppose that
a manufacturer of frozen foods isn’t making money. If the problem is defined as a mar-
keting problem, the researcher may analyze the product’s price, image, advertising, and
position in the market. But perhaps the problem is really that overhead costs are too high
due to poor inventory management, or that an inadequate distribution system doesn’t get
the product to its target market. Defining the problem accurately is essential to finding an
effective solution.
Once you’ve defined your problem, you’re ready to write a purpose statement. The
purpose statement goes both in your proposal and in your final report. A good purpose statement makes three things clear:
• The organizational problem or conflict.
• The specific technical questions that must be answered to solve the problem.
• The rhetorical purpose (to explain, to recommend, to request, to propose) the report is
designed to achieve.
The following purpose statements have all three elements.
The London Business School’s
John W. Mullins believes that
a good business plan starts
with a well-defined problem
that is supported by convincing
evidence gathered from many
credible sources. He cites
Nike’s revolutionary shoe
designs as having addressed
the real problems of runners:
injuries like shin splints and
sprained ankles. He also
argues for using you attitude:
“A Me-First plan sends a clear
signal that the writer’s priorities
are misplaced. What matters
more than great technology or
a great idea is the problem or
pain that the new solution or
technology resolves.”
Source: John W. Mullins, “Why Business Plans Don’t Deliver,” The
Wall Street Journal, June 15, 2012,
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100
014240529702048303045741335
01980701202.html .
Site to See
Go to
http://foundationcenter. org/findfunders/
The Foundation Center offers
links to grant makers’ web
pages, information about
foundations, and advice about
writing proposals.
Go to
Go to
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 344loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 344 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 345
Current management methods keep the elk population within the carrying capacity of
the habitat, but require frequent human intervention. Both wildlife conservation special-
ists and the public would prefer methods that controlled the elk population naturally.
This report will compare the current short-term management techniques (hunting, trap-
ping and transporting, and winter feeding) with two long-term management techniques,
habitat modification and the reintroduction of predators. The purpose of this report is to
recommend which techniques or combination of techniques would best satisfy the needs
of conservationists, hunters, and the public.
When banner ads on web pages first appeared in 1994, the initial response, or “click-
through” rate, was about 10%. However, as ads have proliferated on web pages, the
click-through rate has dropped sharply. Rather than assuming that any banner ad will be
successful, we need to ask, What characteristics do successful banner ads share? Are ads
for certain kinds of products and services or for certain kinds of audiences more likely
to be successful on the web? The purpose of this report is to summarize the available
research and anecdotal evidence and to recommend what Leo Burnett should tell its cli-
ents about whether and how to use banner ads.
To write a good purpose statement, you must understand the basic problem and have
some idea of the questions that your report will answer. Note, however, that you can (and
should) write the purpose statement before researching the specific alternatives the report
will discuss.
What should go in a proposal? LO 21-3
▶ What you’re going to do, how and when you’ll do it, and evidence that you’ll do it well.
Proposals suggest a method for finding information or solving a problem. 1 (See Figure 21.3 .)
Report Audience: Superintendent of Yellowstone National Park
Report Audience: Leo Burnett Advertising Agency
Site to See
Go to
www.sba.gov/category/ navigation-structure/ starting-managing- business/starting- business/how-write- business-plan/
for the Small Business
Association’s tips on writing
proposals.
What constitutes a business
plan can differ according to
audience. Some organizations,
such as the New York
Public Library and the Rice
Alliance for Technology and
Entrepreneurship, are letting
people “twitpitch” business
plans in 140 characters or
less. Of course, there can be
drawbacks. “Take control of
your money before Bernie does.
Join the revolt and get easy to
use tools to grow your 401K/
IRA” was an award-winning
tweet on Fundrevolt . . . for
Bernie Madoff. Investment
manager Sam Hogg argues
that business startups are better
off building concepts rather
than writing business plans.
He quotes boxer Mike Tyson:
“Everybody has a plan, until they
get punched in the face.” In the
fast-paced world of 21 st century
business, Hogg believes that
demonstrating talent rather than
a written plan is important.
Sources: Lora Kolodny, “Can You Write a Business Plan with
Fewer Than 140 Characters?”
The New York Times, April 15,
2010, http://boss.blogs.nytimes.
com/2010/04/15/can-you-write-
a-business-plan-with-fewer-than-
140-characters/ ; and Sam Hogg,
“3 Reasons to Skip the Business
Plan,” Entrepreneur, July 22, 2012,
http://www.entrepreneur.com/
article/223837 .
Figure 21.3 Relationship among Situation, Proposal, and Final Report
Company’s Current Situation The Proposal Offers to The Final Report Will Provide
We don’t know whether we
should change.
Assess whether change
is a good idea.
Insight, recommending whether
change is desirable.
We need to/want to change,
but we don’t know exactly what
we need to do.
Develop a plan to
achieve desired goal.
A plan for achieving the desired
change.
We need to/want to change, and
we know what to do, but we need
help doing it.
Implement the plan,
increase (or decrease)
measurable outcomes.
A record of the implementation
and evaluation process.
Source: Adapted from Richard C. Freed, Shervin Freed, and Joseph D. Romano, Writing Winning Proposals: Your Guide to Landing the Client, Making the Sale, Persuading the Boss (New York: McGraw-Hill, 1995), 21.
Go to
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 345loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 345 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
346 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
As Donna Kienzler points out, proposals have two goals: to get the project accepted and
to get you accepted to do the job. Proposals must stress reader benefits and provide specific
supporting details. 2 Attention to details—including good visual impact and proofreading—
helps establish your professional image and suggests that you’d give the same care to the
project if your proposal is accepted.
To write a good proposal, you need to have a clear view of the problem you hope to
solve and the kind of research or other action needed to solve it. A proposal must answer
the following questions convincingly:
• What problem are you going to solve?
• How are you going to solve it?
• What exactly will you provide for us?
• Can you deliver what you promise?
• What benefits can you offer?
• When will you complete the work?
• How much will you charge?
Government agencies and companies often issue Requests for Proposals, known as
RFPs. Follow the RFP exactly when you respond to a proposal. Competitive propos- als are often scored by giving points in each category. Evaluators look only under the
heads specified in the RFP. If information isn’t there, the proposal gets no points in that
category.
Proposals for Class Research Projects
A proposal for a student report usually has the following sections:
1. In your first paragraph (no heading), summarize in a sentence or two the topic and
purposes of your report.
2. Problem. What organizational problem exists? What is wrong? Why does it need to be solved? Is there a history or background that is relevant?
3. Feasibility. Are you sure that a solution can be found in the time available? How do you know?
4. Audience. Who in the organization would have the power to implement your recom- mendation? What secondary audiences might be asked to evaluate your report? What
audiences would be affected by your recommendation? Will anyone serve as a gate-
keeper, determining whether your report is sent to decision makers? What watchdog
audiences might read the report?
For each of these audiences and for your initial audience (your instructor), give the
person’s name, job title, and business address and answer the following questions:
• What is the audience’s major concern or priority?
• What will the audience see as advantages of your proposal? What objections, if any,
is the reader likely to have?
• How interested is the audience in the topic of your report?
• How much does the audience know about the topic of your report?
List any terms, concepts, equations, or assumptions that one or more of your audiences
may need to have explained. Briefly identify ways in which your audiences may affect
the content, organization, or style of the report.
5. Topics to Investigate. List the questions and subquestions you will answer in your report, the topics or concepts you will explain, the aspects of the problem you will
discuss. Indicate how deeply you will examine each of the aspects you plan to treat.
Explain your rationale for choosing to discuss some aspects of the problem and not
others.
6. Methods/Procedure. How will you get answers to your questions? Whom will you interview or survey? What published sources will you use? What websites will you
consult? Give the full bibliographic references.
Instant Replay
Purpose Statements
A good purpose statement makes three things clear:
• The organizational problem
or conflict.
• The specific technical
questions that must be
answered to solve the
problem.
• The rhetorical purpose the
report is designed to achieve.
I R
Purpose Sta
Many business schools
hold contests for budding
entrepreneurs to pitch their
million-dollar ideas as class
projects. The contests involve
writing business plans and
presenting them to judges, with
cash prizes of up to $20,000 for
winners. However, many ideas
never make it to execution.
Observes Janet Strimaitis,
managing director of Babson
College’s Arthur M. Blank
Center for Entrepreneurship:
“You can write a beautiful
50-page business plan without
ever talking to a potential
customer.” And some highly
successful businesses failed to
earn the top spot in contests.
LendingTree, for instance, took
second place at the University
of Virginia in 1997 and Akamai
Technology was only a finalist
at the Massachusetts Institute
of Technology in 1998. A good
business plan, of course, is
just a potential foundation
for a business. The rest is a
combination of talent, tenacity,
timing, and luck.
Source: Melissa Korn, “Entrepreneur Contests Take
Practical Turn,” The Wall Street
Journal, February 2, 2012, http://
online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424
052970203920204577196813674
180138.html .
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 346loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 346 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 347
Your Methods section should clearly indicate how you will get the information
needed to answer the questions in the Topics to Investigate section.
7. Qualifications/Facilities/Resources. Do you have the knowledge and skills needed to conduct this study? Do you have adequate access to the organization? Do you have
access to any equipment you will need to conduct your research (computer, books,
etc.)? Where will you turn for help if you hit an unexpected snag?
You’ll be more convincing if you have already scheduled an interview, checked out
books, or printed out online sources.
8. Work Schedule. List both the total time you plan to spend on and the date when you expect to finish each of the following activities:
• Gathering information
• Analyzing information
• Preparing the progress report
• Organizing information
• Writing the draft
• Revising the draft
• Preparing the visuals
• Editing the draft
• Proofreading the report
Organize your work schedule either in a chart or in a calendar. A good schedule provides
realistic estimates for each activity, allows time for unexpected snags, and shows that
you can complete the work on time.
9. Call to Action. In your final section, indicate that you’d welcome any suggestions your instructor may have for improving the research plan. Ask your instructor to approve
your proposal so that you can begin work on your report.
Figure 21.4 shows a student proposal for a long report using online and library research.
Make your proposal persuasive by using benefits that your audience finds important.
Copyright © Dana Fradon/The New Yorker Collection, www.cartoonbank.com .
Site to See
Go to
http://www.youngmoney .com/business_planning/ write-a-business-proposal/
A business plan is a special
kind of proposal. Young
Money offers several articles
on creating business plans, as
well as other resources.
Go to
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 347loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 347 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
348 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Figure 21.4 Proposal for a Student Group Report Using Online and Library Research
October 28, 2012
To: Steve Kaczmarek
From: Anwar Abbe, Candice Call, Heather Driscoll, Tony Yang
Subject: Proposal to Study the Feasibility of an Alternative Dispute Resolution Program
for Shepherd Greene Industries
Many private companies and government agencies use Alternative Dispute Resolution
(ADR) programs to resolve disputes with employees. Adopting an ADR program would
save time and money for Shepherd Greene. It would also help reinforce the company’s
application to manufacture parts for US Air Force combat aircraft.
For our report, we plan to research the feasiblility of an ADR program at Shepherd
Greene. We hope to recommend a model ADR program for the company based on an
existing program with demonstrated success.
Background
Founded in 1958, Shepherd Greene Industries is primarily a manufacturer of engine
components for civilian aircraft. Since 1997, the company has also produced engine
components and wing mount assemblies for military reconnaissance aircraft. The
company is privately held.
Problem
Shepherd Greene wants an alternative to traditional court remedies, which have had mixed
results for the company in the recent past. In 1999, an employee fired for poor attendance
sued, claiming a manager had illegally altered her time cards. After two years in the
courts, Shepherd Greene settled for an undisclosed amount. In 2004, two employees fired
for failing on-the-job drug tests unsuccessfully sued the company to get their jobs back,
appealing the case all the way to the State of Ohio Supreme Court. In 2009, a coalition of
employees sued the company about a management structure that allegedly keeps black
employees in low-level jobs. The suit is still pending.
These lawsuits take months or even years to work through the court systems, costing the
company thousands of dollars, not including any settlement or judgment cost. Although
outside attorneys are also hired, preparing these cases requires hundreds of staff hours and
takes the legal staff away from its primary duty of reviewing bids and contracts with
Shepherd Greene’s customers and suppliers.
Shepherd Greene has another reason to change the way it handles employment disputes.
The company has submitted a bid to the US Air Force to manufacture replacement parts
for combat aircraft. In addition to adhering to strict manufacturing guidelines and having
the highest security clearance, the successful company must demonstrate stability in its
labor and management practices. Programs that minimize employee grievances thus
would enhance Shepherd Greene's application.
In subject line 1 indic ate that this is a pro
posal
2 spec ify the kind of report
3 spec ify the topic.
Summarize topic and purposes of report.
If “Problem” section is detailed and well-writt en,
you may be able to use it unchanged in your report.
Background gives your reader information needed to understand the problem.Bold
headings.
Spell out term the first time you use it, wit h the abbreviation in
parentheses. Then you can use the abbrevia tion by itself.
MLA Style omits the periods in “US.”
Triple–space (2 empty spaces).
Double–space (1 empty space) after headi ng before first paragraph.
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 348loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 348 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 349
Steve Kaczmarek 2 October 28, 2012
Feasibility
If our research supports creating an ADR program at Shepherd Greene, we will recommend one
based on an existing model. If the research suggests an ADR program is inappropriate for
Shepherd Greene, we will recommend the company stay with its current system for handling
employee disputes. If our research is inconclusive, we will recommend Shepherd Greene revisit
the topic in one year.
Topics to Investigate
In our report, we will briefly discuss Shepherd Greene’s recent litigation history and the general
issues in litigating employee grievances. We will focus on the following questions:
• What is ADR? • What organizations use ADR to handle employment disputes? • How well does ADR work to resolve employment disputes? • What model ADR programs seem worth imitating? • What resources are required to create an ADR program?
Audiences
Several audiences have a stake in the findings of our research. Our primary audience is Mr.
Richard Yang, Director of Legal Services at Shepherd Greene. He is a 17-year employee with the
company and has the authority to submit a plan for ADR to Shepherd Greene’s top management
for approval. A former trial attorney and member of both the Ohio and New York Bar
Associations, Mr. Yang favors reforms to help alleviate the glut of lawsuits in our nation’s courts.
He is especially interested in our group’s ability to apply research to the field of law, as one of the
group's members is his son and plans to attend law school.
You are our initial audience. Your concern is that we produce a report that is timely, logical,
thorough, and well-written. You have told us that you have taken courses in business law and
journalism law, so the report topic should interest you.
Secondary audiences for this proposal will include employees in Shepherd Greene’s legal and
human resources departments, the company’s top executives, and union representatives. Each of
these audiences must support an ADR program for it to succeed.
Methods
We will use library research and online research. The following materials on the web or in the
Columbus State Community College Educational Resource Center appear to be useful:
Bedikian, Mary A. “Employment ADR: Current Issues and Methods of Implementation.” The Metropolitan Corporate Counsel, Dec. 2009: 33. Web. 4 Oct. 2012.
If you’re writing a report based on library research, list 10–15 sources that look relevant. Give full bibliographic citations. Here, MLA Style is used.
Use hanging indents.
Vary paragraph lengths to provide good visual impact.
MLA no longer requires URLs in citation.
Identify the kinds of audience and the majo r
concerns or priority of each.
If it is well-written, the “Topics to Investigate” section will become the “Scope” section of the report—with minor revisions.
Indicate what you’ll discuss briefly and wha t
you’ll discuss in more detail. This list should match your audience’s concerns.
Convince your instructor that you have a ba ckup
plan if your original proposal proves unworka ble.
All items in list must be grammatically parallel. Here, all are questions.
Blanchard, Roger, and Joe McDade. Testimony before the US HR Committee on Government
Reform Subcommittee on Civil Service, 20 Mar. 2009. Web. 3 Oct. 2012.
Alternative Dispute Resolution: A Resource Guide. US Office of Personnel Management, 2010. Web. 23 Oct. 2012.
Figure 21.4 Proposal for a Student Group Report Using Online and Library Research (continued)
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 349loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 349 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
350 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Steve Kaczmarek 3 October 28, 2012
Bresler, Samuel. “ADR: One Company’s Answer to Settling Employee Disputes.”
HRFocus, Sept. 2009: 3–5. Print.
Carrell, Michael R., and Christina Heavrin. Labor Relations and Collective Bargaining: Cases, Practice, and Law. 9th ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2009. Print.
Cross, Frank B., and Roger LeRoy Miller. The Legal Environment of Business: Text, Cases, Ethical, Regulatory, International, and E-Commerce Issues. 7th ed. Cincinnati, OH: West/South -Western: 2009. Print.
Longstreth, Andrew. “The Softer Side of Sears.” Corporate Counsel Magazine 9 (2009): 18. Academic Search Premier Database Item 6177553. Web. 15 Oct. 2012.
Phillips, F. Peter. “Current Trends in Employment ADR: CPR Institute for Dispute
Resolution.” The Metropolitan Corporate Counsel, Aug. 2008. Web. 8 Oct. 2012.
Senger, Jeffrey M. Testimony before the US HR Committee on the Judiciary, Subcommittee
on Commercial and Administrative Law. 29 Feb. 2009, Web. 25 Oct. 2012.
Stone, Katherine V. W. “Employment Arbitration under the Federal Arbitration Act.”
Employment Dispute Resolution and Worker Rights in the Changing Workplace. Ed. Adrienne E. Eaton and Jeffrey H. Keefe. Ithaca: Cornell UP, 2009. 27–66. Print.
If possible, we will also use the library at nearby Ohio State University (OSU). The OSU system
is one of the largest in the world and houses significantly more resources than does our own
library. As students, we can request materials from the library through OHIOLINK; one of our
group members is also a student there.
Qualifications and Resources
Here are the strengths we bring to this project:
• Anwar Abbe’s knowledge of the manufacturing industry will help us better understand labor and management practices in such an environment. He is a second-year student
in the Legal Studies Program and already holds a Bachelor’s degree in chemistry from
The National Somalian University. Anwar also worked for several years for a paint
manufacturer in North Carolina.
• With nearly eight years of experience as a personnel clerk for Franklin County, Candice Call’s familiarity with legal issues related to human resources will help us understand
the workings of current labor law. She is a second-year student in the Human
Resources Technology Program, where she had taken a labor relations course whose
text talked briefly about ADR.
• Heather Driscoll’s expert knowledge of PowerPoint will be invaluable to creating our oral presentation for this project. A second-year student in Multimedia Technology,
she is also an expert at research on the web.
• Tony Yang’s internship in Shepherd Greene’s management program last summer will help our group understand the company’s organizational culture. A junior from OSU
who is taking business communication here, Tony is majoring in pre-law/English,
plans to specialize in labor law, and has already completed a business law course at
Cite knowledge and skills from other classe s,
jobs, and activities that will enable you to conduct the research and interpret your da
ta.
Bulleted list adds visual variety.
If you’ll administer a survey or conduct interviews, tell how many subjects you’ll have, how you’ll choose them, and what you’ll ask them.
Figure 21.4 Proposal for a Student Group Report Using Online and Library Research (continued)
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 350loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 350 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 351
Steve Kaczmarek 4 October 28, 2012
OSU. He is also the son of Richard Yang, the director of Shepherd Greene’s legal
department, and will have access to the company’s legal and human resources staff.
Work Schedule
The following schedule will allow us to complete our report by the due date.
Activity Responsibility Total Time Completion Date
Call to Action
With Shepherd Greene’s legal costs increasing and its bid to the US Air Force under
consideration, we urge you to accept this proposal. Let us know if you have suggestions for
improving our project. Our team stands ready to begin its research immediately with your
approval.
Make items in list parallel.
Gathering Information
Preparing the Progress Report
Analyzing Information
Organizing Information
Planning the Draft/Visuals
Drafting the Report/Visuals
Planning Revisions
Revising the Draft/Visuals
Editing
Proofreading
Anwar, Heather
Tony
All
Anwar, Heather
All
Tony, Candice
All
Tony, Candice
Heather
All
25 hours
3 hours
10 hours
5 hours
8 hours
15 hours
8 hours
12 hours
7 hours
3 hours
November 15
November 19
November 22
November 23
November 25
November 30
December 2
December 7
December 9
December 10
Time needed will depend on the length and topic of the report, your knowledge of the topic, and your writing skills.
It’s tactful to indicate you’ll accept suggestions. End on a positive note.
Allow plenty of time! Good reports need
good revision, editing, and proofreading
as well as good research.
Figure 21.4 Proposal for a Student Group Report Using Online and Library Research (continued)
Sales Proposals
To sell expensive goods or services, you may be asked to submit a proposal.
For everything you offer, show the reader benefits (◀◀ Module 8) of each feature, using you-attitude (◀◀ Module 6). Consider using psychological description (◀◀ p. 116) to make the benefits vivid.
Use language appropriate for your audience. Even if the buyers want a state-of-the-art
system, they may not want the level of detail that your staff could provide; they may not
understand or appreciate technical jargon (◀◀ p. 260). With long proposals, provide a one-page cover letter. Organize the cover letter in
this way:
1. Catch the reader’s attention and summarize up to three major benefits you offer.
2. Discuss each of the major benefits in the order in which you mentioned them in the first
paragraph.
3. Deal with any objections or concerns the reader may have.
Instant Replay
Proposal for a Student
Report
Include the following sections:
• Problem
• Feasibility
• Audience
• Topics to Investigate
• Methods
• Qualifications
• Work Schedule
• Call to Action
I R
Proposal for
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 351loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 351 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
352
4. Mention other benefits briefly.
5. Ask the reader to approve your proposal and provide a reason for acting promptly.
Proposals for Funding
If you need money for a new or continuing public service project, you may want to
submit a proposal for funding to a foundation, a corporation, a government agency, or a
religious agency. In a proposal for funding, stress the needs your project will meet and
show how your project helps fulfill the goals of the organization you are asking to fund
it. Every funding source has certain priorities; most post lists of the projects they have
funded in the past.
Figuring the Budget and Costs
A good budget is crucial to making the winning bid. Ask for everything you need to do a
quality job. Asking for too little may backfire, leading the funder to think that you don’t
understand the scope of the project.
Read the RFP to find out what is and isn’t fundable. Talk to the program officer and read
successful past proposals to find out
• What size projects will the organization fund in theory?
• Does the funder prefer making a few big grants or many smaller grants?
• Does the funder expect you to provide in-kind or matching funds from other sources?
Sales proposals must
be relevant to discourse
communities. Writer Geoffrey
James points out engineers
and accountants may see the
return on investment differently.
James maintains “the proposal
must state the solution in terms
that the customer understands
and accepts. In order to
provide value, the proposal
must address the specific value
system and concerns of each
set of decision-makers.”
Source: Geoffrey James, “How to Write a Killer Sales Proposal,”
CBS News, March 23, 2010,
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-
505183_162-28549012-10391735/
how-to-write-a-killer-sales-proposal/ .
Identifying “Hot Buttons” LO 21-4
Building a Critical Skill
In a proposal, as in any persuasive document, it’s crucial that
you deal with the audience’s “hot buttons.” Hot buttons are the issues to which your audience has a strong emotional response.
Study your audience’s preferences and motivations. For
instance, older, or nontraditional, college students may have
different hot buttons than typical 18-to-22-year-old students.
Nontraditional students may want remedial skills courses, child
or adult day care, 24-hour computer labs, and evening and
weekend classes. They may challenge more what they hear in
the classroom. Social activities important to traditional students
may hold little interest for nontraditional ones. While many tra-
ditional students see the workplace as a destination, chances are
nontraditional students are already there and have a different
work ethic. Nontraditional students also may be more likely to
choose a two-year rather than a four-year campus.
Hot buttons sometimes cause people to make what seems
like an “illogical” decision—unless you understand the real pri-
orities. A phone company lost a $36 million sale to a university
because it assumed that the university’s priority would be cost.
Instead, the university wanted a state-of-the-art system. The
university accepted a higher bid.
When Ernst & Young prepared a proposal to provide profes-
sional services to a major automotive company, a team of 15
subject-matter experts spent two intense days working one-on-
one with client personnel to learn what issues they cared most
about. Reducing work and saving money were concerns, and
Ernst & Young proposed redesigning the work to reduce costs
and increase return on investment. The focus on value also
enabled Ernst & Young to identify an opportunity related to but
not part of the original RFP.
But even more important, spending time with the automotive
company allowed Ernst & Young to see that a real “hot button”
was that the competitor who held the current contract for services
seemed to take the automotive company for granted. Ernst &
Young exploited this hot button in two ways. First, the proposed
work plan included steps to help stakeholders in the company buy
into and support the project. Second, the form of the oral presenta-
tion of the proposal shouted, “We understand you.” Ernst & Young
invited the decision makers to come to the Ernst & Young office in
Columbus, Ohio, for the presentation. Personnel wore shirts with
the company logo, mirroring the uniforms worn at the automotive
company. The presentation took place on an office floor that had
been designed to mimic the floor plan at the automotive company.
Not only providing logical evidence but also meeting emo-
tional needs won Ernst & Young a seven-figure contract, with
the possibility of even more work.
Sources: “Older Students Transforming Some Colleges,” July 15, 2005, downloaded at www.cnn.com/2005/EDUCATION/07/15/older.students.
ap/ ; and James Lane to Kitty Locker, March 8, 1999.
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 352loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 352 31/12/12 9:09 PM31/12/12 9:09 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 353
Think about exactly what you’ll do and who will do it. What will it cost to get that
person? What supplies or materials will he or she need? Also think about indirect costs
for using office space, about retirement and health benefits as well as salaries, about office
supplies, administration, and infrastructure.
Make the basis of your estimates specific.
Weak: 75 hours of transcribing interviews $1,500 Better: 25 hours of interviews; a skilled transcriber
can complete an hour of interviews in 3 hours;
75 hours @ $20/hour $1,500
Without inflating your costs, give yourself a cushion. For example, if the going rate for
skilled transcribers is $20 an hour, but you think you might be able to train someone and
pay only $12 an hour, use the higher figure. Then, even if your grant is cut, you’ll still be
able to do the project well.
What should go in a progress report? LO 21-5
▶ What you’ve done, why it’s important, and what the next steps are.
When you’re assigned to a single project that will take a month or more, you’ll probably be
asked to file one or more progress reports. A progress report reassures the funding agency
or employer that you’re making progress and allows you and the agency or employer to
resolve problems as they arise. Different readers may have different concerns. An instruc-
tor may want to know whether you’ll have your report in by the due date. A client may be
more interested in what you’re learning about the problem. Adapt your progress report to
the needs of the audience.
Progress reports can do more than just report progress. You can use progress reports to
• Enhance your image. Provide details about the number of documents you’ve read, people you’ve surveyed, or experiments you’ve conducted to create a picture of a
hardworking person doing a thorough job.
• Float trial balloons. Explain, “I could continue to do X [what you approved]; I could do Y instead [what I’d like to do now].” The detail in the progress report can help back
up your claim. Even if the idea is rejected, you don’t lose face because you haven’t
made a separate issue of the alternative.
• Minimize potential problems. As you do the work, it may become clear that implementing your recommendations will be difficult. In your regular progress
reports, you can alert your boss or the funding agency to the challenges that lie
ahead, enabling them to prepare psychologically and physically to act on your
recommendations.
Christine Barabas’s study of the progress reports in a large research and development
organization found that poor writers tended to focus on what they had done and said very
little about the value of their work. Good writers, in contrast, spent less space writing about
the details of what they’d done but much more space explaining the value of their work for
the organization. 3
Subject lines for progress reports are straightforward. Specify the project on which you
are reporting your progress.
Subject: Progress on Developing a Marketing Plan for TCBY
Subject: Progress on Group Survey on Campus Parking
After his proposal to direct a
James Bond film was turned
down by producer Albert R.
Broccoli, Steven Spielberg met
with friend George Lucas to
go over an idea for a globe-
trotting action film with an
American twist. The result
was Raiders of the Lost Ark
(since renamed Indiana Jones
and the Raiders of the Lost
Ark ), the highest-grossing film
of 1981 and the first of four
movies about the intrepid but
fallible archaeologist.
Source: Jim Windolf, “Keys to the Kingdom,” Vanity Fair,
February 2008, downloaded
at www.vanityfair.com/
culture/features/2008/02/
indianajones200802 .
Site to See
Go to
http://schools.nyc.gov/ Accountability/tools/report/ default.htm
to see progress reports on
New York City schools.
Go to
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 353loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 353 31/12/12 9:10 PM31/12/12 9:10 PM
Confirming pages
354 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
If you are submitting weekly or monthly progress reports on a long project, number
your progress reports or include the time period in your subject line. Include dates for the
work completed since the last report and to be completed before the next report.
Make your progress report as positive as you honestly can. You’ll build a better image
of yourself if you show that you can take minor problems in stride and that you’re confi-
dent of your own abilities.
Negative: I have not deviated markedly from my schedule, and I feel that I will have very little trouble completing this report by the due date.
Positive: I am back on schedule and expect to complete my report by the due date.
Progress reports can be organized in three ways: to give a chronology, to specify tasks,
or to support a recommendation.
Chronological Progress Reports
The following pattern of organization focuses on what you have done and what work remains.
1. Summarize your progress in terms of your goals and your original schedule. Use measurable statements.
Poor: My progress has been slow. Better: The research for my report is about one-third complete.
2. Under the heading Work Completed, describe what you have already done. Be specific, both to support your claims in the first paragraph and to allow the reader to
appreciate your hard work. Acknowledge the people who have helped you. Describe
any serious obstacles you’ve encountered and tell how you’ve dealt with them.
Poor: I have found many articles about Procter & Gamble on the web. I have had a few prob- lems finding how the company keeps employees safe from chemical fumes.
Better: On the web, I found Procter & Gamble’s home page, its annual report, and mission statement. No one whom I interviewed could tell me about safety programs specifically
at P&G. I have found seven articles about ways to protect workers against pollution in
factories, but none mentions P&G.
3. Under the heading Work to Be Completed, describe the work that remains. If you’re more than three days late (for school projects) or two weeks late (for business projects)
submit a new schedule, showing how you will be able to meet the original deadline. You
may want to discuss “Observations” or “Preliminary Conclusions” if you want feedback
before writing the final report or if your reader has asked for substantive interim reports.
4. Either express your confidence in having the report ready by the due date or request a conference to discuss extending the due date or limiting the project. If you are behind your original schedule, show why you think you can still finish the project on time.
The student progress report in Figure 21.5 uses this pattern of organization.
Task Progress Reports
In a task progress report, organize information under the various tasks you have worked on
during the period. For example, a task progress report for a group report project might use
the following headings:
Finding Background Information on the Web and in Print
Analyzing Our Survey Data
Working on the Introduction of the Report and the Appendices
Under each heading, the group could discuss the tasks it has completed and those
that remain.
Site to See
Go to
www.who.int/hiv/pub/ progress_report2011/en/ index.html
for current and past World
Health Organization progress
reports on the global HIV/AIDS
fight.
Apple’s annual Supplier
Responsibility Report, which
chronicles progress in its
work with a global network
of companies, showed
improvements in areas like
underage labor violations. At 27
pages, the 2012 report details
audits for 97% of its suppliers,
finding 6 active and 13
historical instances of underage
labor at five facilities, down
considerably over previous
years. The report also notes two
explosions, both in China, which
killed 4 people and collectively
injured 78. The reports date
back to 2007 when, prompted
by allegations of worker abuse,
Apple began to more closely
scrutinize supplier practices.
Source: Phillip Michaels, “Apple Unveils Supplier Names with 2012
Responsibility Report,” Macworld,
January 13, 2012, http://www.
macworld.com/article/1164815/
apple_unveils_supplier_names_
with_2012_responsibility_report.html .
Go to
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 354loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 354 31/12/12 9:10 PM31/12/12 9:10 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 355
Figure 21.5 A Student Chronological Progress Report
April 29, 2013
To: Kitty O. Locker
From: David G. Bunnel
Subject: Progress on CAD/CAM Software Feasibility Study for the Architecture Firm, Patrick
and Associates, Inc.
I have obtained most of the information necessary to recommend whether CADAM or CATIA is
better for Patrick and Associates, Inc. (P&A). I am currently analyzing and organizing this infor-
mation and am on schedule.
Work Completed
To learn how computer literate P&A employees are, I interviewed a judgment sample of five
employees. My interview with Bruce Ratekin, the director of P&A’s Computer-Aided Design
(CAD) Department on April 15 enabled me to determine the architectural drafting needs of the
firm. Mr. Ratekin also gave me a basic drawing of a building showing both two- and three-
dimensional views so that I could replicate the drawing with both software packages.
I obtained tutorials for both packages to use as a reference while making the drawings. First, I
drew the building using CADAM, the package designed primarily for two-dimensional architec-
tural drawings. I encountered problems with the isometric drawing because there was a mistake
in the manual I was using; I fixed the problem by trying alternatives and finally getting help from
another CADAM user. Next, I used CATIA, the package whose strength is three-dimensional
drawings, to construct the drawing. I am in the process of comparing the two packages based
on these criteria: quality of drawing, ease of data entry (lines, points, surfaces, etc.) for com-
puter experts and novices, and ease of making changes in the completed drawings. Based on
my experience with the packages, I have analyzed the training people with and without experi-
ence in CAD who would need to learn to use each of these packages.
Work to Be Completed
Making the drawings has shown that neither of the packages can do everything that P&A
needs. Therefore, I want to investigate the feasibility of P&A’s buying both packages.
As soon as he comes back from an unexpected illness that has kept him out of the office, I will
meet with Tom Merrick, the CAD systems programmer for The Ohio State University, to learn
about software expansion flexibility for both packages as well as the costs for initial purchase,
installation, maintenance, and software updates. After this meeting, I will be ready to begin the
first draft of my report.
Whether I am able to meet my deadline will depend on when I am able to meet with Mr. Merrick.
Right now, I am on schedule and plan to submit my report by the June 10th deadline.
¶ 1: Summarize results in terms of purpose, schedule.
Be very specific about what you’ve done.
Show how you’ve
overcome minor
problems.
Specify the work
that remains.
Underline headin gs
or bold.
End on a positive note.
Indicate changes in purpose,
scope, or recommen-
dations. Progress report
is a low-risk way to
bring the readers on
board.
Recommendation Progress Reports
Recommendation progress reports recommend action: increasing the funding for a project,
changing its direction, canceling a project that isn’t working. When the recommendation
will be easy for the reader to accept, use the Direct Request pattern of organization from
Module 12 (◀◀ p. 191). If the recommendation is likely to meet strong resistance, the Problem-Solving pattern (◀◀ pp. 191–193) may be more effective.
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 355loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 355 31/12/12 9:10 PM31/12/12 9:10 PM
Confirming pages
356 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Information reports collect data for the reader; analytical reports present and interpret data; recommendation reports recommend action or a solution. (LO 21-1)
• A good purpose statement must make three things clear:
(LO 21-2) • The organizational problem or conflict.
• The specific technical questions that must be answered to
solve the problem.
• The rhetorical purpose (to explain, to recommend, to request,
to propose) the report is designed to achieve.
• A proposal must answer the following questions: (LO 21-3) • What problem are you going to solve?
• How are you going to solve it?
• What exactly will you provide for us?
• Can you deliver what you promise?
• When will you complete the work?
• How much will you charge?
• In a proposal for a class research project, use the following
headings: (LO 21-3) • Problem
• Feasibility
• Audience
• Topics to Investigate
• Methods
• Qualifications
• Work Schedule
• Call to Action
• Use the following pattern of organization for the cover letter for
a sales proposal. (LO 21-3)
1. Catch the reader’s attention and summarize up to three
major benefits you offer.
2. Discuss each of the major benefits in the order in which you
mentioned them in the first paragraph.
3. Deal with any objections or concerns the reader may have.
4. Mention other benefits briefly.
5. Ask the reader to approve your proposal and provide a rea-
son for acting promptly.
• In a proposal for funding, stress the needs your project will
meet. Show how your project helps fulfill the goals of the orga-
nization you are asking to fund it. (LO 21-3) • Hot buttons are issues to which your audience has a strong emo-
tional response. Identify hot buttons by studying your audience’s
preferences and motivations. Then, use the information to help
shape your appeals to the audience. What may seem illogical at first
may, in fact, reveal what the audience’s priorities are. (LO 21-4) • To focus on what you have done and what work remains, orga-
nize a progress report in this way: (LO 21-5) 1. Summarize your progress in terms of your goals and your
original schedule.
2. Under the heading “Work Completed,” describe what you
have already done.
3. Under the heading “Work to Be Completed,” describe the
work that remains.
4. Either express your confidence in having the report ready by
the due date or request a conference to discuss extending the
due date or limiting the project.
• Use positive emphasis in progress reports to create an image of
yourself as a capable, confident worker. (LO 21-5)
Assignments for Module 21
21.1 What three components belong in a purpose statement? (LO 21-2)
21.2 What is an RFP? (LO 21-3)
21.3 How does the RFP relate to the organization of the pro- posal? (LO 21-3)
Questions for Comprehension
21.4 In the budget for a proposal, why isn’t it to your advantage to try to ask for the smallest amount of money possible?
(LO 21-3)
21.5 What should you do if you have information you want to put in a proposal that the RFP doesn’t call for? (LO 21-3)
21.6 How can you learn your audience’s hot buttons? (LO 21-4)
21.7 How do you decide whether to write a chronological, task, or recommendation progress report? (LO 21-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
21.8 Writing a Proposal for a Student Report (LO 21-3)
Write a proposal to your instructor to do the research for
a formal or informal report. (See Problems 23.9, 23.10,
23.11, 24.8, 24.9, and 24.10.)
The headings and the questions in the section titled
“Proposals for Class Research Projects” are your RFP;
be sure to answer every question and to use the headings
exactly as stated in the RFP. Exception: Where alternate
heads are listed, you may choose one, combine the two
(“Qualifications and Facilities”), or treat them as separate
headings in separate categories.
Exercises and Problems
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 356loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 356 31/12/12 9:10 PM31/12/12 9:10 PM
Confirming pages
Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports 357
a revised schedule, listing the completion dates for the
activities that remain.
In your last paragraph, either indicate your confidence
in completing the report by the due date or ask for a confer-
ence to resolve the problems you are encountering.
As Your Instructor Directs, Send the e-mail or paper progress report to
a. The other members of your group.
b. Your instructor.
Write a memo summarizing your progress on your report.
In the introductory paragraph, summarize your prog-
ress in terms of your schedule and your goals. Under a
heading titled “Work Completed,” list what you have
already done. (This is a chance to toot your own horn:
If you have solved problems creatively, say so! You can
also describe obstacles you’ve encountered that you have
not yet solved.) Under “Work to Be Completed,” list what
you still have to do. If you are more than two days behind
the schedule you submitted with your proposal, include
21.9 Writing a Chronological Progress Report (LO 21-5)
Send the e-mail or paper progress report to
a. The other members of your group.
b. Your instructor.
Write a memo summarizing your progress on your report in
terms of its tasks.
As Your Instructor Directs,
21.10 Writing a Task Progress Report (LO 21-5)
have not yet solved. In this section, you can also comment
on problems that the group has faced and whether or not
they’ve been solved. You can comment on things that have
gone well and have contributed to the smooth functioning
of the group.
Under “Work to Be Completed,” list what you person-
ally and other group members still have to do. Indicate the
schedule for completing the work.
In your last paragraph, either indicate your confidence
in completing the report by the due date or ask for a confer-
ence to resolve the problems you are encountering.
Write a memo to your instructor summarizing your group’s
progress.
In the introductory paragraph, summarize the group’s
progress in terms of its goals and its schedule, your own
progress on the tasks for which you are responsible, and
your feelings about the group’s work thus far.
Under a heading titled “Work Completed,” list what has
already been done. Be most specific about what you your-
self have done. Describe briefly the chronology of group
activities: number, time, and length of meetings; topics dis-
cussed and decisions made at meetings.
If you have solved problems creatively, say so! You
can also describe obstacles you’ve encountered that you
21.11 Writing a Chronological Progress Report for a Group Report (LO 21-5)
Normally, verb tenses within a sentence, paragraph, and document
should be consistent.
Incorrect: I went to the store yesterday. There, I will buy a new computer, desk, and bookcase. Afterward, I assemble
everything and arrange my new home office.
Correct: I went to the store yesterday. There, I bought a new computer, desk, and bookcase. Afterward, I
assembled everything and arranged my new home
office.
When you have to mix tenses in a document, do so appropri-
ately. The reader must understand the relationship between time
and action throughout your document:
Incorrect: By the time you get to the meeting, I drop off the package at FedEx.
Correct: By the time you get to the meeting, I will have dropped off the package at FedEx.
The correct example uses future perfect tense to indicate action that has not yet occurred, but will prior to your getting to the meeting
(expressed in simple present tense ).
In general, stick to simple verb tenses in business communi-
cation. Standard edited English prefers them. Unless you must
indicate specifically when one action takes place with respect to
another, the simple tenses work fine.
• Use present tense in résumés and job application letters to
describe current job duties; use it in persuasive documents
when you want the reader to feel close to the action.
• Use past tense in résumés and job application letters to describe
previous job duties; use it in correspondence and reports when
action has already occurred.
• Use future tense in messages to describe action that still needs
to be completed—in a progress report, any remaining activities;
in a résumé or job application letter, when you will graduate
from college or complete a job certification program.
Exercises
Fix the verb tense errors in the following sentences.
1. Cason takes the Graduate Record Examination at Sinclair
Community College this past Wednesday.
Mixing Verb Tenses
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 357loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 357 31/12/12 9:10 PM31/12/12 9:10 PM
Confirming pages
358 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
2. Norm gains 38 years of experience working with a diverse
range of clients in South and Central America.
3. Prior to working with Locke, Crane, and Bischoff, Natalie
will have worked for Microsoft in Redmond, Washington.
4. If we took a plane to Louisville next Friday, we arrived on
Saturday afternoon.
5. Doubtless, Jeannie will say at the meeting last week, our cus-
tomers expect the best in service.
6. After I get home from the sales meeting in Sarasota, I gave
you a call.
7. Riana Tilden was vice president of OCSEA in 2015, at which
time Denny Chang will become president.
8. George, Deron, and Elissa were planning a surprise party for
Alekanekelo on Friday. Let them know if you can attend.
9. Once I pass my last three classes at Michigan State University,
I received my Masters in Public Administration.
10. As you saw from my résumé, I will have many experiences
from previous jobs that make me an excellent candidate for
this position.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 358loc03261_ch21_341-358.indd 358 31/12/12 9:10 PM31/12/12 9:10 PM
Confirming pages
359
R esearch for a report may be as simple as getting a computer printout of sales for the last
month; it may involve finding online or published material or surveying or interviewing people.
Secondary research retrieves information that someone else gathered. Library research and online
searches are the best-known kinds of secondary research. Primary research gathers new informa-
tion. Surveys, interviews, and observations are common methods for gathering new information for
business reports.
Arguably, research is more important today than ever before. Organizations want reasonable assur-
ances that new ventures will work, governments want to know the best way to use public dollars, and
investors want to know that the companies they own are being managed well. Good research helps.
There are many information resources available today—so much so, the amount can be overwhelming.
The web has made it possible to find information quickly and efficiently, but the problem is that some
of that information is unreliable. It’s critical that researchers rely on reputable sources, and that often
means looking at who did the research and how, and not just how recent it is or how easy it was to
find. The Building a Critical Skill box in this module can help you determine what are good sources.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information
LO 22-1 Apply strategies for print and online information searches.
LO 22-2 Apply strategies for web page evaluation.
LO 22-3 Apply strategies for survey and interview question use.
LO 22-4 Identify respondents for surveys and interviews.
LO 22-5 Analyze information from research.
LO 22-6 Practice common citation styles for research documentation.
Module 22 describes how to collect, analyze, and cite information effectively. After completing
the module, you should be able to
Module
22
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 359loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 359 1/4/13 5:26 PM1/4/13 5:26 PM
Figure 22.1 Examples of a
Boolean Search
Restaurant or
Fast Food
Employment Rate or
Unemployment
Minimum Wage
Results
Confirming pages
360 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
How can I find information online and in print? LO 22-1
▶ Learn how to do keyword searches.
Keywords are the terms that the computer searches for in a database or on the web. The ABI/Inform Thesaurus lists synonyms and the hierarchies in which information is arranged in various databases.
At the beginning of a search, use all the synonyms and keywords you can think of. For
example, the report on alternative dispute resolution (▶▶Module 24) used the following search terms:
alternative dispute resolution
ADR
mediation
arbitration
employee grievances
Skim several of the first sources you find; if they use additional or different terms, search
for these new terms as well.
Use a Boolean search ( Figure 22.1 ) to get fewer but more useful hits. For example,
to study the effect of the minimum wage on employment in the restaurant industry, you
might specify
(minimum wage) and (restaurant or fast food) and
(employment rate or unemployment)
Without and, you’d get articles that discuss the minimum wage in general, articles about every aspect of restaurants, and every article that refers to unemployment, even though many of these would not be relevant to your topic. The or calls up articles that use the term fast food but not restaurant. An article that used the phrase food service industry would be eliminated unless it also used the term restaurant.
Use a computer to search for print as well as online sources. Include paper as
well as online sources in your research. Information in many periodicals is checked
before it goes to print; papers in scholarly journals are reviewed by experts before they
are accepted. Thus, print sources are often more credible than web pages, which anyone
can post.
Figures 22.2 , 22.3 , and 22.4 list some of the many resources available.
Splunk is the first “Big Data”
company to go public. It
specializes in scouring vast
amounts of data and mining
it for useful information. In
particular, fields like health
care can benefit from Big
Data mining. When Microsoft
Research scientist Eric Horvitz
and his colleagues analyzed
300,000 emergency room
(ER) visits, for instance, they
discovered that if a patient
stayed in the ER past 14
hours, they were more likely
to be readmitted. With 20%
of patients released from
American hospitals needing to
be readmitted within a month,
the cost to Medicare alone for
inefficiency is $17 billion annually.
Source: Farhad Manjoo, “Big Changes Are Ahead for the
Health Care Industry, Courtesy
of Big Data,” Fast Company,
June 18, 2012, http://www.
fastcompany.com/magazine/167/
big-data-companies-splunk .
Site to See
Go to
www.learnwebskills.com/ search/main.html
Debbie Flanagan offers a
useful tutorial on web search
strategies. Try the web
scavenger hunt to test your
search sophistication.
Go to
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 360loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 360 1/4/13 5:26 PM1/4/13 5:26 PM
Confirming pages
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 361
Figure 22.2 Sources for Electronic Research
These databases are available through many university libraries:
Black Studies on Disc
Business Source Premier (full text for more than 2,800 scholarly business journals in management,
economics, finance, accounting, international business, and more)
ComIndex (indexes and abstracts of journals in communication)
ERIC (research on education and teaching practices in the United States and other countries)
Foreign Trade and Economic Abstracts
GPO on SilverPlatter (government publications)
Handbook of Latin American Studies
LEXIS/NEXIS Services
Newspaper Abstracts
PAIS International—Public Affairs Information Service
Social Sciences Index
Wilson Business Abstracts
Women’s Resources International
Figure 22.3 Sources for Web Research
Subject Matter Directories
AccountingNet
www.accountingnet.com/
Education index
www.educationindex.com
FINWeb
www.finweb.com/finweb.html
Human resource management resources on the Internet
www.hr-guide.com/
International Business Kiosk
www.calintel.org/kiosk
Management and entrepreneurship
www.lib.lsu.edu/bus/managemt.html
The WWW Virtual Library: Marketing
www.knowthis.com
News Sites
BusinessWeek Online
www.businessweek.com
CNN/CNNFN
www.cnn.com (news)
http://money.cnn.com/ (financial news)
National Public Radio
www.npr.org
NewsLink (links to U.S., Canadian, and international newspapers, magazines, and resources online)
http://newslink.org/
The New York Times
www.nytimes.com
(Continued)
Even in the digital age, keeping
paper records is important.
A Florida man convicted of
murder nonetheless was
granted a new trial because
the court stenographer erased
the trial transcript. Though the
stenographer backed up files,
a virus all but obliterated them,
necessitating a new trial.
Source: Katie Kindelan, “Stenographer Error Gives Convicted
Florida Murderer New Trial,” Good
Morning America, January 2, 2012,
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/
abc-blogs/stenographer-error-
gives-convicted-florida-murderer-
trial-192006260.html .
According to a research report
by the Joint Center for Political
and Economic Studies, college-
educated African Americans
and Hispanic Americans
making more than $50,000
annually are the fastest growing
segment of Internet users.
When it comes to broadband
use, 94 percent of African
Americans and 98 percent
of Hispanic Americans with
college degrees are online.
Source: Lesly Simmons, “Higher Income Minorities Fastest
Growing Segment of Web
Users,” Black Web 2.0, March 1,
2010, http://www.blackweb20.
com/2010/03/01/higher-income-
minorities-fastest-growing-
segment-of-web-users/ .
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 361loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 361 1/4/13 5:27 PM1/4/13 5:27 PM
Rev.confirming pages
362 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Figure 22.4 Print Sources for Research
Indexes:
Accountants’ Index
Business Periodicals Index
Canadian Business Index
Hospital Literature Index
Personnel Management Abstracts
Facts, figures, and forecasts (also check the web):
Almanac of Business and Industrial Financial Ratios
Moody’s Manuals
The Statistical Abstract of the U.S.
U.S. Census reports (also available on the web):
Census of Manufacturers
Census of Retail Trade
International business and government:
Canada Year Book
Dun and Bradstreet’s Principal International Businesses
European Marketing Data and Statistics
Statistical Yearbook of the United Nations
The Wall Street Journal
http://online.wsj.com/
U.S. Government Information
EDGAR Online (SEC’s online database)
www.edgar-online.com
FEDSTATS (links to 70 U.S. government agencies)
www.fedstats.gov
STAT-USA (fast-breaking statistics on U.S. trade and economy)
www.stat-usa.gov
U.S. Census (including Data FERRET)
www.census.gov
U.S. government publications (search databases online)
www.gpoaccess.gov/index.html
U.S. Small Business Administration
www.sbaonline.sba.gov
White House Briefing Room (economic issues)
www.whitehouse.gov/fsbr/esbr.html
Reference Collections
Hoover’s Online (information on more than 13,000 public and private companies worldwide)
www.hoovers.com
Liszt (mailing lists)
www.liszt.com
My Virtual Reference Desk
www.refdesk.com
Web addresses may change. For links to the current URLs, see the BCS website.
Figure 22.3 Sources for Web Research (continued)
Technology is revolutionizing
access to data and research.
One particular widget—a
small computer program
that enhances existing web
applications—compiled data
on the victims of the Haitian
earthquake from among many.
With thousands of people
missing or dead from the
quake, Google’s Person Finder
widget created a portal for
users searching for victims.
Source: Andy Carvin, “Using Google’s Haiti Missing Persons
Widget,” NPR, January 17,
2010, http://www.npr.org/blogs/
inside/2010/01/using_googles_
haiti_missing_pe.html .
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 362loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 362 25/01/13 10:01 PM25/01/13 10:01 PM
Confirming pages
363
How do I write questions for surveys and interviews? LO 22-2
▶ Test your questions to make sure they’re neutral and clear.
A survey questions a large group of people, called respondents or subjects. The easiest way to ask many questions is to create a questionnaire, a written list of questions that people fill out. Figure 22.5 shows an example of a questionnaire. An interview is a struc- tured conversation with someone who will be able to give you useful information. Surveys
and interviews can be useful only if the questions are well designed.
Phrase questions in a way that won’t bias the response. Avoid questions that make
assumptions about your subjects. The question “Does your spouse have a job outside the
home?” assumes that your respondent is married.
Use words that mean the same thing to you and to the respondents. Words like often and important mean different things to different people. Whenever possible, use more objective measures:
Vague: Do you use the web often? Better: How many hours a week do you spend on the web?
Most research projects today include the Internet. However,
don’t rely solely on the Internet for research. Powerful as it
is, the Internet’s just one tool. Your public or school library,
experts in your company, journals and newspapers, and even
information in your files are others.
Finding Web Pages
Use root words to find variations. A root word such as stock followed by the plus sign ( stock 1 ) will yield stock, stocks, stockmarket, and so forth.
Use quotation marks for exact terms. If you want only sites that use the term “business communication,” put quotes
around the term.
Uncapitalize words. Capitalizing words limits your search to sites where the word itself is capitalized; if the word doesn’t
have to be capitalized, don’t.
Some search engines group related sites based on keywords.
Look for these links at the top of your search engine.
If you get a broken or dead link, try shortening the URL.
For example, if www.mirror.com/newinfo/index.html no lon-
ger exists, try www.mirror.com . Then check the site map to see
whether it has the page you want.
Evaluating Web Pages
Anyone can post a website, and no one may check the infor-
mation for accuracy or truthfulness. By contrast, many print
sources, especially academic journals, have an editorial board
that reviews manuscripts for accuracy and truthfulness. The
review process helps ensure that information meets high
standards.
For a list of websites about evaluating information, see
http://www.vuw.ac.nz/staff/alastair_smith/EVALN/EVALN.
HTM
Use reputable sources. Start with sites produced by univer- sities and established companies or organizations. Be aware,
however, that such organizations are not going to post infor-
mation that makes them look bad. To get “the other side of
the story,” you may need to monitor listservs or access pages
critical of the organization. (Search for “consumer opinion” and
the name of the organization.)
Look for an author. Do individuals take “ownership” of the information? What are their credentials? How can you con-
tact them with questions? Remember that “.edu” sites could be
from students not yet expert on a subject.
Check the date. How recent is the information? Check the source. Is the information adapted from other
sources? If so, try to get the original.
Compare the information with other sources. Internet sources should complement print sources. If facts are correct,
you’ll likely find them recorded elsewhere.
Building a Critical Skill
Using the Internet for Research LO 22-2
Site to See
Go to
http://help.surveymonkey. com/app/answers/ detail/a_id/101/~/ tips-on-creating-and- administering-effective- surveys
for tips on how to do surveys.
Go to
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 363loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 363 1/4/13 5:27 PM1/4/13 5:27 PM
Confirming pages
364 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Closed questions have a limited number of possible responses. Open questions do not lock the subject into any sort of response. Figure 22.6 gives examples of closed and open
questions. The second question in Figure 22.6 is an example of a Likert-type scale. Closed
questions are faster for subjects to answer and easier for researchers to score. However,
since all answers must fit into chosen categories, they cannot probe the complexities of a
Figure 22.5 A Student Questionnaire
In your introductory ¶ , 1 tell how to return the survey . 2 tell how the information will be used.
Start with easy–to–answer
questions.
Give readers information they need to understand your question.
Using columns gets the survey on one side, saving money in copying and eliminating the
problem of people missing questions on the back. But it leaves almost no room to write in comments.
Branch questions
allow readers to skip
questions.
1. Major __________________________
2. Rank: First Year __________
Sophomore ________
Junior ____________
Senior ____________
3. How important it is to you to have one or
more internships before you graduate?
___ Very important
___ Somewhat important
___ Not important
4. Did you have an internship last summer?
___ Yes ___ No (Skip to Question 6.)
5. What were the most beneficial aspects of
your internship? (Check all that apply.)
___ Work related to my major
___ Likely to get a job offer/got a job offer
___ Chance to explore my interests
___ Made connections
___ Worked with clients
___ Looks good on my résumé
___ Other (Please explain.)
6. How much money did you make last
summer? (Approximate hourly rate,
before taxes)
___________________
❏ Check here if you did not make any
money last summer.
7. For next summer, could you afford to take an
unpaid internship?
___ Yes ___ No
8. For next summer, could you afford to take an
internship paying only the minimum wage?
___ Yes ___ No
9. How important is each of the following criteria
in choosing whether to accept a specific
internship?
Very Some Not
impt. impt. impt.
a. Money ❏ ❏ ❏
b. Prestige of company ❏ ❏ ❏
c. Location near where
you live now ❏ ❏ ❏
d. Quality of mentoring ❏ ❏ ❏
e. Building connections ❏ ❏ ❏
f. Chance of getting a job
with that company ❏ ❏ ❏
g. Gaining experience ❏ ❏ ❏
10. How interested are you in a career in managed
care?
___ Very interested
___ Somewhat interested
___ Not interested
11. Could you take a job in Cleveland next
summer?
___ Definitely
___ Maybe
___ No
12. Have you heard of FFI Rx Managed Care?
___ Yes
___ No
13. I invite any other comments you would like to
make regarding internships.
Thank you for taking the time to answer this survey.
Please return it to the person who gave it to you.
Survey on Internships
Please answer the following questions and return the completed survey to the person who gave it to you.
All information will be confidential and used only for a class project examining the feasibility of
establishing an internship program for a particular business.
Repeat where to turn in or mail completed surveys.
These abbreviations are OK when you survey skilled readers.
Make sure to break
up the lines. Leaving an
extra space makes it
more likely that
the respondent
will check the right
line.
Put directions in parentheses to
separate them from the question itself.
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 364loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 364 1/4/13 5:27 PM1/4/13 5:27 PM
Confirming pages
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 365
subject. You can improve the quality of closed questions by conducting a pretest with open
questions to find categories that matter to respondents.
When you use multiple-choice questions, make sure that only one answer fits in any one
category. In the following example of overlapping categories, a person who worked for a
company with exactly 25 employees could check either a or b. The resulting data would be unreliable.
Figure 22.6 Closed and Open Questions
Closed Questions
Are you satisfied with the city bus service? (yes/no)
How good is the city bus service?
Excellent 5 4 3 2 1 Terrible
Indicate whether you agree or disagree with each of the following statements about city bus
service:
A D The schedule is convenient for me.
A D The routes are convenient for me.
A D The drivers are courteous.
A D The buses are clean.
Rate each of the following improvements in the order of their importance to you (1 5 most
important, 6 5 least important)
_____ Buy new buses.
_____ Increase non-rush-hour service on weekdays.
_____ Provide earlier and later service on weekdays.
_____ Increase service on weekends.
_____ Buy more buses with wheelchair access.
_____ Provide unlimited free transfers.
Open Questions
How do you feel about the city bus service?
Tell me about the city bus service.
Why do you ride the bus? (or, Why don’t you ride the bus?)
What do you like and dislike about the city bus service?
How could the city bus service be improved?
Tough as it might be to fathom,
the U.S. Food and Drug
Administration (FDA) is finally
requiring tobacco companies
to reveal what actually is in
cigarettes. Drug companies
for years have had to reveal
product formulas, but 2010
was the first year the FDA
asked tobacco companies to
do likewise. Among ingredients
in cigarettes are cocoa and
menthol for flavor, but up to
4,000 chemicals, including
60 known carcinogens, may
be present. The Centers
for Disease Control and
Prevention estimate 443,000
deaths, or nearly 1 in 5 deaths,
are attributable annually to
smoking-related diseases.
Source: “What’s in a Cigarette? FDA to Study Ingredients,” January
18, 2010, http://www.cbsnews.
com/stories/2010/01/18/ap/
business/main6111057.shtml ;
and “Smoking and Tobacco
Use Factsheet,” Centers for
Disease Control, downloaded on
February 16, 2010, http://www.
cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/
fact_sheets/health_effects/
effects_cig_smoking/ .
SHOE-NEW BUSINESS © 1999 MacNelly. Distributed by KIng Features Syndicate.
Poor questions yield poor data.
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 365loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 365 1/4/13 5:27 PM1/4/13 5:27 PM
Confirming pages
366 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Overlapping Indicate the number of full-time employees in your company categories: on May 16:
_____ a. 0–25
_____ b. 25–100
_____ c. 100–500
_____ d. over 500
Discrete: Indicate the number of full-time employees in your company categories on May 16:
_____ a. 0–25
_____ b. 26–100
_____ c. 101–500
_____ d. over 500
Branching questions direct different respondents to different parts of the questionnaire based on their answers to earlier questions.
10. Have you talked to an academic adviser this year?
yes _____ no _____
(if “no,” skip to question 14.)
Use closed multiple-choice questions for potentially embarrassing topics. Seeing their
own situation listed as one response can help respondents feel that it is acceptable. How-
ever, very sensitive issues are perhaps better asked in an interview, where the interviewer
can build trust and reveal information about himself or herself to encourage the inter-
viewee to answer.
Generally, put early in the questionnaire questions that will be easy to answer. Put ques-
tions that are harder to answer or that people may be less willing to answer (e.g., age and
income) near the end of the questionnaire. Even if people choose not to answer such ques-
tions, you’ll still have the rest of the survey filled out.
If subjects will fill out the questionnaire themselves, pay careful attention to the physi-
cal design of the document. Use indentations and white space effectively; make it easy
to mark and score the answers. Include a brief statement of purpose if you (or someone
else) will not be available to explain the questionnaire or answer questions. Pretest the
questionnaire to make sure the directions are clear. One researcher mailed out a two-page
questionnaire without pretesting it. Twenty-five respondents didn’t answer the questions
on the back of the first page. 1
How do I decide whom to survey or interview? LO 22-4
▶ Use a random sample for surveys, if funds permit.
▶ Use a judgment sample for interviews.
The population is the group you want to make statements about. Depending on the pur- pose of your research, your population might be all Fortune 1000 companies, all business students at your college, or all consumers.
Defining your population correctly is crucial to getting useful information. For example,
Microscan wanted its sales force to interview “customer defectors.” At first, salespeople
Research can reveal unusual
or counterintuitive findings.
Babies born in the fall are
more likely to reach age 100
than those born at other times
of the year. A study at The
Ohio State University found
that the more debt college
students have, the higher their
self-esteem. Asian Americans
once led the U.S. in household
wealth—with a median of
$168,103 in 2005—but
dropped behind European
Americans a few years later
because of the housing market
implosion. Whites now top the
list, with a median household
wealth of $113,149, more
than 20 times the median net
worth of African Americans
and 18 times that of Latino and
Hispanic Americans.
Sources: Catherine de Lange, “Autumn Babies More Likely to
Hit 100,” NewScientist, July 12,
2012, http://www.newscientist.
com/article/dn22054-autumn-
babies-more-likely-to-hit-100.
html ; Liz Goodwin, “The More
Debt College Students Have, the
Higher Their Self Esteem,” June 16,
2011, http://news.yahoo.com/s/
yblog_thelookout/20110616/
us_yblog_thelookout/the-more-
debt-college-students-have-the-
higher-their-self-esteem ; and Hope
Yen, “Wealth Gap Widens Between
Whites, Minorities,” July 26, 2011,
http://news.yahoo.com/wealth-
gap-widens-between-whites-
minorities-040224418.html .
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 366loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 366 1/4/13 5:27 PM1/4/13 5:27 PM
Confirming pages
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 367
assumed that a “defector” was a former customer who no longer bought anything at all. By
that definition, very few defectors existed. But then the term was redefined as customers
who had stopped buying some products and services. By this definition, quite a few defec- tors existed. And the fact that each of them had turned to a competitor for some of what
they used to buy from Microscan showed that improvements—and improved profits—
were possible. 2
Because it is not feasible to survey everyone, you select a sample. If you take a true
random sample, you can generalize your findings to the whole population from which
your sample comes. In a random sample, each person in the population theoretically has an equal chance of being chosen. When people say they did something randomly they often mean without conscious bias. However, unconscious bias exists. Someone pass- ing out surveys in front of the library will be more likely to approach people who seem
friendly and less likely to ask people who seem intimidating, in a hurry, much older
or younger, or of a different race, class, or sex. True random samples rely on random
digit tables, generated by computers and published in statistics texts and books such as
A Million Random Digits. A convenience sample is a group of respondents who are easy to get: students who
walk through the student center, people at a shopping mall, workers in your own unit. Con-
venience samples are useful for a rough pretest of a questionnaire. However, you cannot
generalize from a convenience sample to a larger group.
A judgment sample is a group of people whose views seem useful. Someone inter- ested in surveying the kinds of writing done on campus might ask each department for the
name of a faculty member who cared about writing, and then send surveys to those people.
Judgment samples are often good for interviews, where your purpose is to talk to someone
whose views are worth hearing.
The response rate—the percentage of people who respond—can differ according to
the kind of survey used. According to figures researchers have reported to the Marketing
Research Association, telephone surveys averaged 18% (31% when researchers worked
from a list), door-to-door surveys averaged 53%, face-to-face surveys in malls and other
Since going public in 2012,
Facebook has received greater
scrutiny than ever before. One
revelation is that as much as
8.7% of the site’s billion users
may be fakes or duplicates,
determined by the company
after an internal audit reported
to the Security and Exchange
Commission. A company
called Limited Run stopped
advertising on Facebook after
it claimed that as many as
80% of the clicks it received on
Facebook ads came from bots,
or web robots, rather than
people.
Source: Tim Sprinkle, “The 7 Ugly Truths About Facebook,” August
3, 2012, http://finance.yahoo.com/
blogs/the-exchange/7-ugly-truths-
facebook-180418410.html .
Sharon Lee’s marketing firm,
Look-Look, ferrets out youth
trends. Her sources include
nearly 10,000 14- to 30-year-old
volunteers who upload photos,
send e-mail reports, and use the
firm’s message boards.
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 367loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 367 1/4/13 5:27 PM1/4/13 5:27 PM
Confirming pages
368 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
locations averaged 38%, and web surveys averaged 34%. Good researchers follow up,
contacting nonrespondents at least once and preferably twice to try to persuade them to
participate in the survey. 3
How should I analyze the information I’ve collected? LO 22-5
▶ Look for answers to your research questions, patterns, and interesting nuggets.
As you analyze your data, look for answers to your research questions and for interesting
nuggets that may not have been part of your original questions but emerge from the data.
Such stories can be more convincing in reports and oral presentations than pages of com-
puter printouts.
Understanding the Source of the Data
If your report is based upon secondary data from library and online research, look at the
sample, the sample size, and the exact wording of questions to see what the data actually
measure. For instance, many polls in the 2004 presidential race showed Americans were
closely divided in their choice of a candidate—so close that the difference often was within
the margin of error. Thus, pollsters could not confidently say whether President George
W. Bush or Senator John Kerry was in the lead. Because the few points of difference
between candidates could have been mere chance, pollsters then had to find sample sizes
large enough to make poll results meaningful.
Identify the assumptions used in analyzing the data. When Nielsen Media Research
estimates the number of people who view television stations, it must make assumptions:
how well its People Meter actually tracks whether people are watching and how best to
count groups that are hard to measure.
Nielsen recently reported that 18- to 34-year-old males are watching less television,
in part because they spend more time with videogames and DVDs. However, television
networks complained that the company was underreporting this group’s viewing. For
example, they said, Nielsen was not counting young people who leave for college, and
its sample did not include homes with TiVo or other personal video recorders. Thus, the
networks, Nielsen, and advertisers disagree about whether young men are losing interest in
television programming. 4
Evaluating online sources, especially web pages, can be difficult, since anyone can post
pages on the web or contribute comments to chat groups. Check the identity of the writer:
Is he or she considered an expert? Can you find at least one source printed in a respect-
able newspaper or journal that agrees with the web page? If a comment appeared in chat
groups, did others in the group support the claim? Does the chat group include people who
could be expected to be unbiased and knowledgeable? Especially when the issue is contro-
versial, seek out opposing views.
Analyzing Numbers
Many reports analyze numbers—either numbers from databases and sources or numbers
from a survey you have conducted.
If you’ve conducted a survey, your first step is to transfer the responses on the survey
form into numbers. For some categories, you’ll assign numbers arbitrarily. For example,
you might record men as “1” and women as “2”—or vice versa. Such assignments don’t
matter, as long as you’re consistent throughout your project. In these cases, you can report
the number and percentage of men and women who responded to your survey, but you
can’t do anything else with the numbers.
Estimates of how much digital
data is consumed annually are
as high as 9.57 zettabytes,
or a stack of books 5.6 billion
miles high and stretching from
Earth to Neptune more than 20
times. The determination was
made by University of California
at San Diego scientists, who
crunched numbers from the
world’s 27 million business
computer servers. However,
since the estimates use
2008 totals, the most recent
year they were available, the
number could be significantly
higher. Such staggering sums
may mean little to the average
person. When reporter Brian X.
Chen asked passersby in
Brooklyn to define a megabyte,
people spoke in terms of
practicality. Said Miranda
Popkey, “It’s a measure of
how much information you
store. If there are too many of
them, I can’t send my e-mail
attachment.” For the record, a
megabyte is 1,000 kilobytes,
or about one minute of a
downloaded song.
Sources: Catharine Smith, “This Is How Much Information the
World Consumes Each Year,”
April 7, 2011, http://www.
huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/06/
world-information-
consumption_n_845806.html ;
and Brian X. Chen, “A Ballooning
Megabyte Budget,” The New
York Times, April 8, 2012, http://
www.nytimes.com/2012/04/09/
technology/how-to-budget-
megabytes-becomes-more-urgent-
for-users.html?pagewanted=all .
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 368loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 368 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 369
When you have numbers for salaries or other figures, start by figuring the average,
or mean, the median, and the range. The average or mean is calculated by adding up all the figures and dividing by the number of samples. The median is the number that is exactly in the middle. When you have an odd number of observations, the median
will be the middle number. When you have an even number, the median will be the
average of the two numbers in the center. The range is the high and low figures for that variable.
Finding the average takes a few more steps when you have different kinds of data.
For example, it’s common to ask respondents whether they find a feature “very impor-
tant,” “somewhat important,” or “not important.” You might code “very important” as “3,”
“somewhat important” as “2,” and “not important” as “1.” To find the average in this kind
of data,
1. For each response, multiply the code by the number of people who gave that response.
2. Add up the figures.
3. Divide by the total number of people responding to the question.
For example, suppose you have surveyed 50 people about the features they want in a
proposed apartment complex.
The average gives an easy way to compare various features. If the party house averages
2.3 while extra parking for guests is 2.5, you know that your respondents would find extra
parking more important than a party house. You can now arrange the factors in order of
importance:
Table 4. “How Important Is Each Factor to You in Choosing an Apartment?”
n 5 50; 3 5 “Very Important”
Extra parking for guests 2.5
Party house 2.3
Pool 2.2
Convenient to bus line 2.0
Often it’s useful to simplify numerical data: round it off and combine similar elements.
Then you can see that one number is about 2½ times another. Charting it can also help you
see patterns in your data. Look at the raw data as well as at percentages. For example, a
50% increase in shoplifting incidents sounds alarming—but an increase from two to three
shoplifting incidents sounds well within normal variation.
Analyzing Words
If your data include words, try to find out what the words mean to the people who said
them. Respondents to Whirlpool’s survey of 180,000 households said that they wanted
“clean refrigerators.” After asking more questions, Whirlpool found that what people
really wanted were refrigerators that looked clean, so the company developed models with textured fronts and sides to hide finger-prints.
5 Also try to measure words against numbers.
When he researched possible investments, Peter Lynch found that people in mature indus-
tries were pessimistic, seeing clouds. People in immature industries saw pie in the sky,
even when the numbers weren’t great. 6
Look for patterns. If you have library sources, on which points do experts agree? Which
disagreements can be explained by early theories or numbers that have now changed? By
different interpretations of the same data? Having different values and criteria? In your
interviews and surveys, what patterns do you see?
• Have things changed over time?
• Does geography account for differences?
• What similarities do you see?
With $1.44 being the average
savings per coupon and
assuming it takes a minute to
clip it, shoppers are saving at
the rate of $86.40 per hour,
tax-free. Saving $25 a week will
net $1,200 a year, or more than
$100,000 over a typical lifetime.
Source: Brett Arends, “Doing the Math on Coupons,” February 11,
2010, http://customsites.yahoo.
com/financiallyfit/finance/article-
108816-4123-3-how-to-save-100-
in-an-hour?ywaad=ad0035 .
Instant Replay
Three Kinds of Samples
In a random sample, each person in the population has
an equal chance of being
chosen. A convenience sample is a group of respondents who are easy to
get. A judgment sample is a group of people whose views
seem useful.
With the world watching,
Greek triple jumper Paraskevi
Papachristou tweeted a racist
joke that got her expelled from
the 2012 Summer Games.
A week later, Swiss soccer
player Michel Morganella
tweeted racist and threatening
messages against South
Koreans and was likewise sent
packing. Both later apologized,
but Papachristou was initially
defiant. Measure the impact
of words carefully, especially
those hurled at other people
and at their expense.
(continued)
I R
Three Kinds
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 369loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 369 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Confirming pages
370 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
• What differences do you see?
• What confirms your hunches?
• What surprises you?
Checking Your Logic
Don’t confuse causation with correlation. Causation means that one thing causes or pro- duces another. Correlation means that two things happen at the same time. One might cause the other, but both might be caused by a third.
For example, suppose that you’re considering whether to buy cell phones for every-
one in your company, and suppose that your surveys show that the people who cur-
rently have cell phones are, in general, more productive than people who don’t use cell
phones. Does having a cell phone lead to higher productivity? Perhaps. But perhaps
productive people are more likely to push to get cell phones from company funds,
while less productive people are more passive. Perhaps productive people earn more
and are more likely to be able to buy their own cell phones if the organization doesn’t
provide them.
Consciously search for at least three possible causes for each phenomenon you’ve
observed and at least three possible solutions for each problem. The more possibilities you
brainstorm, the more likely you are to find good options. In your report, mention all of the
possibilities; discuss in detail only those that will occur to readers and that you think are
the real reasons and the best solutions.
When you have identified patterns that seem to represent the causes of the problem or
the best solutions, check these ideas against reality. Can you find support in the quotes or
in the numbers? Can you answer counterclaims? If you can, you will be able to present
evidence for your argument in a convincing way.
If you can’t prove the claim you originally hoped to make, modify your conclusions to
fit your data. Even when your market test is a failure, you can still write a useful report.
• Identify changes that might yield a different result (e.g., selling the product at a lower
price might enable the company to sell enough units).
• Discuss circumstances that may have affected the results.
• Summarize your negative findings in progress reports to let readers down gradually and
to give them a chance to modify the research design.
• Remember that negative results aren’t always disappointing to the audience. For
example, the people who commissioned a feasibility report may be relieved to have an
impartial outsider confirm their suspicions that a project isn’t feasible. 7
How should I document sources? LO 22-6
▶ Use MLA or APA format.
The two most widely used formats for endnotes and bibliographies in reports are those
of the Modern Language Association (MLA) and the American Psychological Associa-
tion (APA). Figure 22.7 shows the MLA and APA formats for books, government docu-
ments, journal and newspaper articles, online sources, and interviews. In 2009, MLA Style
changed to include such terms as “Print,” “Web,” or “E-mail” in documentation, and it no
longer requires URLs to be included.
In a good report, sources are cited and documented smoothly and unobtrusively.
C itation means attributing an idea or fact to its source in the body of the report: for example, “According to the 2000 Census . . .” or “Jane Bryant Quinn argues that. . . .” Cit-
ing sources demonstrates your honesty, enhances your credibility, and protects you from
charges of plagiarism. Documentation means providing the bibliographic information readers would need to go back to the original source. Note that citation and documentation
are used in addition to quotation marks. If you use the source’s exact words, you’ll use
American businesses spent
$125.9 billion on employee
training in 2009 alone, but
little research exists on what
the return on investment is
for much of the training. For
“tangible” workshops, where
specific skills are taught in
areas like sales and product
knowledge, measuring results
is easier than in “intangible”
workshops, where broader
skills are taught in areas
like leadership and team
effectiveness. More than 90%
of Fortune 500 CEOs surveyed
said they are most interested
in learning the business impact
of employee training, but less
than 10% saw that currently
happening in their company.
Source: Gary M. Stern, “Company Training Programs: What Are They
Really Worth?” Fortune, May 27,
2011, http://management.fortune.
cnn.com/2011/05/27/company-
training-programs-what-are-they-
really-worth/ .
Sources: Alon Harish, “Greek Jumper Expelled from Olympic
Team for Racist Tweet,” ABC
News, July 25, 2012, http://
abcnews.go.com/International/
greek-olympic-jumper-expelled-
racist-tweet-defenders-flock/
story?id=16856393#.UB_
J001lR55 ; and “Swiss Olympic
Team Expels Player for Racist
Tweet,” July 31, 2012, http://
sports.espn.go.com/espn/
wire?section=oly&id=8214115 .
(continued)
Instant Replay
Analyzing Numbers
The average or mean is calculated by adding up all
the figures and dividing by
the number of samples. The
median is the number that is exactly in the middle. The
range is the high and low figures for that variable.
I R
Analyzing N
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 370loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 370 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
MLA Style
MLA internal citation gives the author’s last name and page number in parentheses in the text for facts as well as for quotations (Gilsdorf and Leonard 470). If the author’s name is used in the sentence, only the page number is given in parentheses. A list of WORKS CITED gives the full bibliographic documentation, arranging the entries alphabetically by the first author’s last name.
Article in a Periodical Gilsdorf, Jeanette, and Don Leonard. “Big Stuff, Little Stuff: A Decennial Measurement of Executives’ and Academics’ Reactions to Questionable Usage Elements.” The Journal of Business Communication 38 (2001): 448-75. Print.
McCartney, Scott. “Why a Baseball Superstar’s Megacontract Can Be Less than It Seems.” The Wall Street Journal, 27 Dec. 2000: B1+. Print.
Article from an Edited Book Killingsworth, M. Jimmie, and Martin Jacobsen. “The Rhetorical Construction of Environmental Risk Narratives in Government and Activist Websites: A Critique.” Narrative and Professional Communication. Eds. Jane M. Perkins and Nancy Blyler. Stamford, CT: Ablex. 1999. 167-77. Print.
Give authors’, editors’
names as printed in
the source. Spell out editors’ names. Join with “and.”
Give state when city is not well known.
First name first for second author
Put quotation marks around title of article.
Italicize title of journal, magazine, or newspaper.
Use a “plus” when pages are discontinuous.
Capitalize all major words in titles of articles, books, journals, magazines, and newspapers.
Omit “4” in “475.”
Comma
Volume number
,
Article from a Publication on the Web Greengard, Samuel. “Scoring Web Wins.” Business Finance Magazine. May 2001. Web. 12 July 2010.
Book Cross, Geoffrey A. Forming the Collective Mind: A Contextual Exploration of Large-Scale Collaborative Writing in Industry. Creskill, NJ: Hampton Press, 2001. Print.
Book or Pamphlet with a Corporate Author Citibank. Indonesia: An Investment Guide. [Jakarta:] Citibank, 1994. Print.
E-mail message Kaczmarek, Stephen Kyo.“ Planned Revisions for Module 12.” Message to Marith Adams. 17 Dec. 2009. E-mail. Government Document United States. Sen. Special Committee on Aging. Long-Term Care: States Grapple with Increasing Demands and Costs. 107th Cong., 1st sess. Washington, DC: GPO, 2001. Print.
Government Document Available on the Web from the GPO Access Database United States. General Accounting Office. Aviation Security: Terrorist Acts Demonstrate Urgent Need to Improve Security at the Nation’s Airports. Testimony before the Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation, U.S. Senate (GAO-01-1162T). 20 Sept. 2001. Web. 20 Dec. 2011.
Put in square brackets information known to you but not printed in source.
Date after city and publisher
Abbreviate long months. day month year
Omit state when city is well known. Abbreviate
“Government Printing Office.”
Confirming pages
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 371
Figure 22.7 MLA and APA Formats for Documenting Sources
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 371loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 371 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Figure 22.7 MLA and APA Formats for Documenting Sources (Continued)
Date you accessed posting
Date of posting
Interview Conducted by the Researcher Drysdale, Andrew. Telephone interview. 12 Apr. 2009.
Posting to a Listserv Dietrich, Dan. “Re: Course on Report and Proposal Writing.” BizCom Discussion Group, 31 Aug. 2002. Web. 23. Dec. 2011.
Website American Express Company. Creating an Effective Business Plan. American Express Company, 2001. Web. 20 Dec. 2010.
APA internal citation gives the author’s last name and the date of the work in parentheses in the text. A comma separates the author’s name from the date (Gilsdorf & Leonard, 2001). The page number is given only for direct quotations (Cross, 2001, p. 74). If the author’s name is used in the sentence, only the date is given in parentheses. A list of REFERENCES gives the full bibliographic documentation, arranging the entries alphabetically by the first author’s last name.
Article in a Periodical Gilsdorf, J., & Leonard, D. (2001). Big stuff, little stuff: A decennial measurement of executives’ and academics’ reactions to questionable usage elements. The Journal of Business Communication, 38, 439-475.
McCartney, S. (2000, December 27). Why a baseball superstar’s megacontract can be less than it seems. The Wall Street Journal, p. B1, B3.
Article in an Edited Book Killingsworth, M. J., & Jacobsen, M. (1999). The rhetorical construction of environmental risk narratives in government and activist websites: A critique. In J. M. Perkins & N. Blyler (Eds.), Narrative and professional communication (pp. 167-177). Stamford, CT: Ablex.
Article from a Publication on the Web Greengard, S. (2001, May). Scoring web wins. Business Finance Magazine. p. 37. Retrieved July 12, 2010, from Article.cfm? IssueID=348&ArticleID=13750
Book Cross, G. A. (2001). Forming the collective mind: A contextual exploration of large-scale collaborative writing in industry. Creskill, NJ: Hampton Press.
Book or Pamphlet with a Corporate Author Citibank. (1994). Indonesia: An investment guide. [Jakarta:] Author.
Ampersands join names of co-authors, co-editors.
no punctuation after URL
Initials only Italicize title of book.
Put in square brackets information known to you but not printed in document.
Indicates that the organization authoring document also published it
comma
As of 2009, MLA Style no longer requires URLs in documentation. However, indicate the basic type of publication.
last name first
no “pp.” when journal has a volume numberItalicize volume.
Editors before book title
Repeat “1” in 177. Give state when
city is not well known.
Separate discontinuous pages with comma and space.
Year (period outside parenthesis). No quotes around title of article
Capitalize all major words in title of journal, magazine, or newspaper.
Editors’ names
have last names
last.
In titles of articles and books capitalize only 1 first word, 2 first word of subtitle, 3 proper nouns.
http://www.businessfinancemag.com/archives/appfiles/
APA Style
Confirming pages
372 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 372loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 372 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Figure 22.7 MLA and APA Formats for Documenting Sources (Continued)
E-Mail Message [Identify e-mail messages in the text as personal communications. Give name of author and as specific a date as possible. Do not list in References.]
Government Document Senate Special Committee on Aging. (2001). Long-term care: States grapple with increasing demands and costs. Hearing before the Special Committee on Aging, Senate, One Hundred Seventh Congress, first session, hearing held in Washington, DC, July 11, 2001 (Doc ID: 75-038). Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office.
No abbreviations
APA uses periods for “U.S.”Document number
Government Document Available on the Web from the GPO Access Database U.S. General Accounting Office. (2001, September 20.) Aviation security: Terrorist acts demonstrate urgent need to improve security at the nation’s airports. Testimony before the Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation, U.S. Senate (GAO-01- 1162T). Retrieved December 20, 2011, from General Accounting Office ReportsOnline via GPO Access: http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d011162t.pdf
Interview Conducted by the Researcher [Identify interviews in the test as personal communications. Give name of interviewee and as specific a date as possible. Do not list in References.]
Posting to a Listserv [Identify messages on listservs to which one must subscribe in the text as personal communications. Give name of author and as specific a date as possible. Do not list in References.]
Website American Express. (2001). Creating an effective business plan. Retrieved August 31, 2010, from the World Wide Web: http://home3.americanexpress.com/smallbusiness/ tool/biz_plan/index.asp
Date you visited site
Keep “http://”
No punctuation Break long
Web address at a slash or other punctuation mark.
Copyright or update date
Comma
Confirming pages
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 373
the name of the person you’re citing and quotation marks in the body of the report; you’ll
indicate the source in parentheses and a list of References or Works Cited. If you put the
source’s idea into your own words, or if you condense or synthesize information, you don’t
need quotation marks, but you still need to tell whose idea it is and where you found it.
Indent long quotations on the left and right to set them off from your text. Indented quo-
tations do not need quotation marks; the indentation shows the reader that the passage is a
quote. Because many readers skip quotes, always summarize the main point of the quota-
tion in a single sentence before the quotation. End the sentence with a colon, not a period,
because it introduces the quote.
Interrupt a quotation to analyze, clarify, or question it.
Use square brackets around words you add or change to clarify the quote or make it fit
the grammar of your sentence. Omit any words in the original source that are not essential
for your purposes. Use ellipses (spaced dots) to indicate omissions.
Site to See
Go to
http: //owl.english.purdue. edu /owl /
for advice on how to use APA
and MLA citation styles.
Go to
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 373loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 373 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Assignments for Module 22
Confirming pages
374 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Keywords are the terms that the computer searches for in a database or on the web. At the beginning of a search, use all
of the synonyms and keywords you can think of. Skim several
of the first sources you find; if they use additional or different
terms, search for these other terms as well. (LO 22-1) • To decide whether to use a website as a source in a research
project, evaluate the site’s authors, objectivity, information, and
revision date. (LO 22-2) • A survey questions a large group of people, called respondents
or subjects. A questionnaire is a written list of questions that people fill out. An interview is a structured conversation with someone who will be able to give you useful information.
(LO 22-3) • Closed questions have a limited number of possible responses.
Open questions do not lock the subject into any sort of response. Branching questions direct different respondents to
different parts of the questionnaire based on their answers to
earlier questions. (LO 22-3) • In a random sample, each person in the population theoreti-
cally has an equal chance of being chosen. Only in a random
sample is the researcher justified in inferring that the results
from the sample are also true of the population from which the
sample comes. A convenience sample is a group of subjects who are easy to get. A judgment sample is a group of people whose views seem useful. (LO 22-4)
• Causation means that one thing causes or produces another. Cor- relation means that two things happen at the same time. One might cause the other, but both might be caused by a third. (LO 22-5)
• Citation means attributing an idea or fact to its source in the body of the report. Documentation means providing the biblio-
graphic information readers would need to go back to the origi-
nal source. (LO 22-6)
Exercises and Problems
22.8 Evaluating websites (LO 22-2)
Evaluate seven websites related to the topic of your report.
For each, consider
• Author(s)
• Objectivity
• Information
• Revision date
Based on these criteria, which sites are best for your report?
Which are unacceptable? Why?
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Share your results with a small group of students.
b. Present your results in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present your results to the class in an oral presentation.
Evaluate each of the following questions. Are they accept-
able as they stand? If not, how can they be improved?
a. Questionnaire on grocery purchases.
1. Do you usually shop at the same grocery store? a. Yes
b. No
2. How much is your average grocery bill?
a. Under $25
b. $25–50
c. $50–100
d. $100–150
e. Over $150
22.9 Evaluating Survey Questions (LO 22-3)
22.1 What is the difference between open and closed questions? (LO 22-3)
22.2 What is the difference between the mean and the median? (LO 22-5)
22.3 What is the difference between correlation and causation? (LO 22-5)
Questions for Comprehension
22.4 How do you decide whether a website is an acceptable source for a report? (LO 22-2)
22.5 Why do you need to know the exact way a question was phrased before using results from the study as evidence?
(LO 22-3)
22.6 Why should you test a questionnaire with a small group of people before you distribute it? (LO 22-3)
22.7 Why should you look for alternate explanations for your findings? (LO 22-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 374loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 374 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information 375
Low High
Ability to communicate 1 2 3 4 5
Leadership ability 1 2 3 4 5
Public presentation skills 1 2 3 4 5
Selling ability 1 2 3 4 5
Teamwork capability 1 2 3 4 5
Writing ability 1 2 3 4 5
22.10 Designing Questions for an Interview or Survey (LO 22-3)
Submit either a one- to three-page questionnaire or ques-
tions for a 20- to 30-minute interview AND the information
listed below for the method you choose.
Questionnaire 1. Purpose(s), goal(s)
2. Subjects (who, why, how many)
3. How and where to be distributed
4. Rationale for order of questions, kinds of questions,
wording of questions
Interview 1. Purpose(s), goal(s)
2. Subject (who and why)
3. Proposed site, length of interview
4. Rationale for order of questions, kinds of questions,
wording of questions, choice of branching or follow-up
questions
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Create questions for a survey on one of the following
topics:
• Survey students on your campus about their knowl-
edge of and interest in the programs and activities
sponsored by a student organization.
• Survey workers at a company about what they like
and dislike about their jobs.
• Survey people in your community about their will-
ingness to pay more to buy products using recycled
materials and to buy products that are packaged with
a minimum of waste.
• Survey students and faculty on your campus about
whether adequate parking exists.
• Survey two groups on a topic that interests you.
b. Create questions for an interview on one of the f ollowing
topics:
• Interview an international student about the form of
greetings and farewells, topics of small talk, forms
of politeness, festivals and holidays, meals at home,
size of families, and roles of family members in his
or her county.
• Interview the owner of a small business about the
problems the business has, what strategies the
owner has already used to increase sales and prof-
its and how successful these strategies were, and the
owner’s attitudes toward possible changes in prod-
uct line, decor, marketing, hiring, advertising, and
money management.
• Interview someone who has information you need
for a report you’re writing.
b. Survey on technology
1. Would you generally welcome any technological
advancement that allowed information to be sent and
received more quickly and in greater quantities than
ever before?
2. Do you think that all people should have free access
to all information, or do you think that information
should somehow be regulated and monitored?
c. Survey on job skills
How important are the following skills for getting and
keeping a professional-level job in U.S. business and
industry today?
Using MLA requires two steps: gathering all the information you
need and then applying it correctly. MLA documentation uses
• The full names of all authors; the full names of editors of an
edited book.
• The title and subtitle (if any).
• The title of the edited book or journal, for articles within books
and journals.
• For books: city of publication (with state if not well known),
publisher, and year of publication.
• For articles in popular periodicals: the date of publication, in as
much detail as the periodical gives, and the page on which the
article starts.
• For articles in scholarly periodicals: the volume and year and
beginning and ending page numbers.
• The specific page(s) on which you find the fact(s) you cite or
the sections you quote.
Using MLA Style requires that you look closely at the order
of words and at punctuation marks. For example, when you use a
Using MLA Style
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 375loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 375 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Confirming pages
376 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
short quote (39 words or fewer), the period of your sentence goes
outside the parentheses with the page number. In a long indented
quote (40 words or more), the parentheses with the page number
follows the period at the end of the sentence.
In 2009, MLA Style changed to include such terms as “Print,”
“Web,” or “E-mail” in documentation, and it no longer requires
URLs to be included. For more details on how to use MLA Style,
see Figure 22.7 or http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/ .
Exercises
Identify and correct the errors in MLA format in the following
Works Cited items.
1. Jonathan B. Wight, interview by Stephen K. Kaczmarek, 04 July
2004.
2. “Report Cards on Governance,” by Lauren Young, in Busi-
nessWeek. 6/13/05. Pages 86–87.
3. O’Rourke, P. J. “The CEO of the Sofa.” Copyright 2001.
P ublished by Atlantic Monthly Press in New York City, USA.
4. Ameeta Patel and Lamar Reinsch, Companies Can Apolo-
gize: Corporate Apologies and Legal Liability, Business Communication Quarterly, March 2003, Volume Number 66, Issue Number 1. P. 9–25.
5. EPA. “An Office Building Occupant’s Guide to Indoor Air
Quality.” August 1, 2009. www.epa.gov/iaq/pubs/occupgd.html .
6. July 25, 2012. E-mail message from me.
7. Kaczmarek, Stephen K. and Locker, Kitty O., “Business Com-
munication: Building Critical Skills.” 5th Edition. McGraw-Hill/
Irwin. Boston. 2011.
8. Thea Singer; Can Business Still Save the World?; “Inc.” April
2001. Pp. 58–71.
9. U. of Nebraska. (2004). Husker Fever Card. Retrieved June
20, 2012 from the Internet: http://www.huskerfevercard.com .
10. A Business Call with Adams, Marith, on December 17, 2011.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 376loc03261_ch22_359-376.indd 376 1/4/13 5:28 PM1/4/13 5:28 PM
Confirming pages
377
Short Reports
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
W henever you have a choice, write a short report rather than a long one. Never put information
in reports just because you have it or just because it took you a long time to find it. Instead,
choose the information that your reader needs to make a decision. Should you need to write a longer
report, however, the types of reports described here could still be used and expanded. Module 24
provides the key principles for writing a long report.
One report writer was asked to examine a building that had problems with heating, cooling, and
air circulation. The client who owned the building wanted quick answers to three questions: What
should we do? What will it cost? When will it pay for itself? The client wanted a three-page report with
a seven-page appendix showing the payback figures. 1 When Susan Kleimann studied reply forms for
a hotel, its managers said they didn’t want to read a report. So Kleimann limited the “report” to an
executive summary with conclusions and recommendations. Everything else went into appendixes. 2
Short reports normally use letter or memo format.
LO 23-1 Select patterns for short business report organization.
LO 23-2 Apply strategies for short business report organization.
LO 23-3 Apply principles for good business report style.
LO 23-4 Apply strategies for specific and polite question use.
Module 23 can help you to write the best short reports. After completing the module, you should be
able to
23
Module
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 377loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 377 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
378 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Do different kinds of reports use different patterns of organization? LO 23-1
▶ Yes. Work with the readers’ expectations.
Informative, feasibility, and justification reports will be more successful when you work
with the readers’ expectations for that kind of report.
Informative and Closure Reports
An informative or closure report summarizes completed work or research that does not result in action or recommendation.
Informative reports often include the following elements:
• Introductory paragraph summarizing the problems or successes of the project. • Chronological account of how the problem was discovered, what was done, and what
the results were.
• Concluding paragraph with suggestions for later action. In a recommendation report, the recommendations would be based on proof. In contrast, the suggestions in a closure
or recommendation report are not proved in detail.
Figure 23.1 presents this kind of informative report.
Feasibility Reports
Feasibility reports evaluate several alternatives and recommend one of them. (Doing nothing or delaying action can be one of the alternatives.)
Feasibility reports normally open by explaining the decision to be made, listing the
alternatives, and explaining the criteria. In the body of the report, each alternative will be
evaluated according to the criteria. Discussing each alternative separately is better when
one alternative is clearly superior, when the criteria interact, and when each alternative is
indivisible. If the choice depends on the weight given to each criterion, you may want to
discuss each alternative under each criterion.
Whether your recommendation should come at the beginning or the end of the report
depends on your reader. Most readers want the “bottom line” up front. However, if the
reader will find your recommendation hard to accept, you may want to delay your recom-
mendation till the end of the report when you have given all your evidence.
Justification Reports
Justification reports recommend or justify a purchase, investment, hiring, or change in policy. If your organization has a standard format for justification reports, follow that for-
mat. If you can choose your headings and organization, use this pattern when your recom-
mendation will be easy for your reader to accept:
1. Indicate what you’re asking for and why it’s needed. Because the reader has not asked for the report, you must link your request to the organization’s goals.
2. Briefly give the background of the problem or need. 3. Explain each of the possible solutions. For each, give the cost and the advantages and
disadvantages.
4. Summarize the action needed to implement your recommendation. If several people will be involved, indicate who will do what and how long each step will take.
5. Ask for the action you want.
General Motors (GM) decided
to stop advertising with
Facebook after it could
no longer justify the cost.
According to GM, the third-
biggest U.S. advertiser
across all media, paid ads on
Facebook seemed to have had
little impact on car purchases.
Kia Motors Corporation also
questioned the effectiveness of
Facebook ads, but like Subaru,
it plans to keep advertising with
the company.
Source: Sharon Terlep, Suzanne Vranica, and Shayndi Raice, “GM
Says Facebook Ads Don’t Pay Off,”
The Wall Street Journal, May 16,
2012, http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB1000142405270230419270457
7406394017764460.html .
Site to See
Go to
http://www.nwcdc. coop/Resources/ OBCFeasibilityReport.pdf
for a copy of the Northwest
Co-Operative Development
Center’s Feasibility Report on
biodiesel fuel production and
distribution.
Go to
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 378loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 378 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Figure 23.1 An Informative Memo Report Describing How Local Government Solved a Problem
April 20, 2013
To: Doug Perrin, Human Resources Director
From: Tamalyn Sykes, Staff Training and Development Manager
Subject: Workplace Violence Awareness Training at the Commissioners’ Office
Three months ago, the Commissioners’ Office began to offer workplace violence awareness training to all 1,200 Jefferson County employees under its direct authority. The program was held to reduce employee concerns about the possibility of a hostage situation similar to the one in October at the State Workers’ Compensation building next to the county courthouse.
In this report, I will explain the need for the program, as well as its structure and cost.
Need for Workplace Violence Awareness Training
On October 11, 2010, county employees were shocked to learn of a hostage situation at the State Workers’ Compensation building. A 41-year-old man, frustrated that his final benefits appeal had been rejected and facing home foreclosure, walked into a 15th-floor office with a handgun and took five people hostage. He demanded to see the account manager who had denied his original claim.
When the account manager stepped out of her office, she was shot twice by the man, who then turned the gun on himself. Both died. Later, questions abounded: How could the man have entered the building with a handgun? What could have been done to prevent violence? What emergency procedures were in place to protect staff? Why did building security fail to respond soon enough to prevent violence?
In the weeks that followed, many county employees expressed concern to supervisors that they felt vulnerable—after all, if it happened next door, it could happen here. Calls to the county’s Employee Assistance Program for counseling tripled. Supervisors also noted drops in employee attendance; one supervisor reported that half of her staff called off work the week after the shooting.
Purpose and scope of report.
par First agr aph
summarizes main
points.
Informal short reports u se
letter or memo format.
Triple–space before heading.
Double–space between paragraphs within heading.
Capitalize first letter of
major words in heading.
Use your organization’s culture
to decide whether to list titles.
Talking heads tell reader what to
expect in each section.
Reason training is
needed.
Specific impact on
organization.
Confirming pages
Module 23 Short Reports 379
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 379loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 379 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Figure 23.1 An Informative Memo Report Describing How Local Government Solved a Problem (continued)
Workplace Violence Awareness Training 2 April 20, 2013
Structure and Cost of Training
At the November 20 General Session, the Commissioners approved a proposal to initiate workplace violence awareness training to address employee concerns. I then wrote and published the requisite RFP for services, and three training organizations responded with bids. New Horizons Training Services submitted the lowest and best bid.
The Commissioners hired New Horizons to provide 11 training sessions for 100–150 persons each. Sessions were held in the courthouse auditorium twice weekly starting January 7. While managers were allowed to schedule employees for sessions at their discretion, training was mandatory for all 1,200 employees. Employees on vacation or sick leave were required to attend a special “make-up” training session held at New Horizons’ headquarters in March.
The two-and-a-half-hour training sessions consisted of three parts: • A one-hour video on general issues related to workplace violence. • A one-hour panel discussion led by New Horizons’ staff and featuring members of the county’s security department and crisis management team (videotaped for the make-up session.) • A half-hour question-and-answer session that included a written evaluation of the program.
At the end, the county’s “Action Plan” booklet for dealing with workplace violence was distributed. The plan includes emergency telephone numbers, evacuation procedures, an overview of public safety measures at the courthouse, and directions on what to do in a hostage situation.
The total cost for the sessions was $11,500: $1,000 for each session at the courthouse and $500 for the make-up session held at New Horizons’ headquarters.
Employee feedback about the program was overwhelmingly positive.
Bold headings.
Double– space
between paragraphs.
Indented lists
provide visual
variety.
Be sure to double–
check numbers.
Short subject (or reader’s name) Page number Date
Confirming pages
380 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 380loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 380 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Alissa Kozuh analyzes the words
customers type in on the search
feature at www.nordstrom.com .
She’s found five patterns;
customers key in particular
items (“shoes”), trends (“leopard
prints”), departments from the
bricks-and-mortar stores (“Brass
Plum,” the juniors department),
designer names, and special
occasions (“prom”). The changes
she suggested for the site based
on her research increased web
sales 32%.
Confirming pages
Module 23 Short Reports 381
If the reader will be reluctant to grant your request, use this variation of the problem-
solving pattern described in Module 12:
1. Describe the organizational problem (which your request will solve). Use specific examples to prove the seriousness of the problem.
2. Show why easier or less expensive solutions will not solve the problem. 3. Present your solution impersonally. 4. Show that the disadvantages of your solution are outweighed by the advantages. 5. Summarize the action needed to implement your recommendation. If several people
will be involved, indicate who will do what and how long each step will take.
6. Ask for the action you want.
How much detail you need to give in a justification report depends on your reader’s
knowledge of and attitude toward your recommendation and on the corporate culture.
Many organizations expect justification reports to be short—only one or two pages. Other
organizations may expect longer reports with much more detailed budgets and a full dis-
cussion of the problem and each possible solution.
What are the basic strategies for organizing information? LO 23-2
▶ Try one of these seven patterns.
Seven basic patterns for organizing information are useful in reports:
1. Comparison/contrast.
2. Problem-solution.
3. Elimination of alternatives.
4. General to particular or particular to general.
Site to See
Go to
www.siemens.com/ sustainability/en/ sustainability/reporting/ current_reporting.htm
for a copy of Siemens’ 2011
Sustainability Report.
Go to
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 381loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 381 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
382 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
5. Geographic or spatial.
6. Functional.
7. Chronological.
Any of these patterns can be used for a whole report or for only part of it.
1. Comparison/Contrast
Comparison/contrast takes up each alternative in turn, discussing strengths and weak-
nesses. Feasibility studies usually use this pattern.
A variation of the divided pattern is the pro and con pattern. In this pattern, under each specific heading, give the arguments for and against that alternative.
Whatever information comes second will carry more psychological weight. This pat-
tern is least effective when you want to deemphasize the disadvantages of a proposed
solution, for it does not permit you to bury the disadvantages between neutral or positive
material.
A report recommending new plantings for a university quadrangle uses the pro and con
pattern:
Advantages of Monocropping
High Productivity
Visual Symmetry
Disadvantages of Monocropping
Danger of Pest Exploitation
Visual Monotony
2. Problem-Solution
Identify the problem; explain its background or history; discuss its extent and seriousness;
identify its causes. Discuss the factors (criteria) that affect the decision. Analyze the advan-
tages and disadvantages of possible solutions. Conclusions and recommendations can go
either first or last, depending on the preferences of your reader. This pattern works well
when the reader is neutral.
A report recommending ways to eliminate solidification of a granular bleach during
production uses the problem-solution pattern:
Recommended Reformulation for Vibe Bleach
Problems in Maintaining Vibe’s Granular Structure
Solidifying during Storage and Transportation
Customer Complaints about “Blocks” of Vibe in Boxes
Why Vibe Bleach “Cakes”
Vibe’s Formula
The Manufacturing Process
The Chemical Process of Solidification
Modifications Needed to Keep Vibe Flowing Freely
3. Elimination of Alternatives
After discussing the problem and its causes, discuss the impractical solutions first, show- ing why they will not work. End with the most practical solution.
Younger people today are
weighing the pros and cons of
whether to own or rent a wide
variety of consumer goods,
going beyond housing to
include the furniture in it. Even
the traditional auto purchase or
lease is competing with hourly
auto rentals by companies like
Zipcar, part of a $1.8 billion
annual industry. There are
advantages and disadvantages
to each, and the Center for
Housing Policy’s Jeffrey Lubell
points out the opportunity cost
of renting instead of buying:
“What you are seeing is a delay
in all the kinds of decisions that
require a long-term financially
stable future.
Source: Caroline Fairchild, “Recession Generation Opts to
Rent Not Buy Houses to Cars,”
August 8, 2012, http://www.
bloomberg.com/news/2012-08-08/
recession-generation-opts-to-rent-
not-buy-houses-to-cars.html .
Site to See
Go to
http://164.109.37.240/pt/ about/events/2012dbir/
for the Verizon Business
Risk Team’s 2012 Data
Breach Investigations
Report, complete with
recommendations.
Go to
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 382loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 382 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 23 Short Reports 383
This pattern works well when the solutions the reader is likely to favor will not work,
while the solution you recommend is likely to be perceived as expensive, intrusive, or
radical.
A report on toy commercials eliminates alternatives:
The Effect of TV Ads on Children
Camera Techniques Used in TV Advertisements
Alternative Solutions to Problems in TV Toy Ads
Leave Ads Unchanged
Mandate School Units on Advertising
Ask the Industry to Regulate Itself
Give FCC Authority to Regulate TV Ads Directed at Children
4. General to Particular or Particular to General
General to particular starts with the problem as it affects the organization or as it manifests
itself in general and then moves to a discussion of the parts of the problem and solutions
to each of these parts. Particular to general starts with the problem as the audience defines
it and moves to larger issues of which the problem is a part. Both are good patterns when
you need to redefine the reader’s perception of the problem in order to solve it effectively.
The directors of a student volunteer organization, VIP, have defined their problem as
“not enough volunteers.” After studying the subject, the writer is convinced that problems
in training, the way work is structured, and campus awareness are responsible both for a
high drop-out rate and a low recruitment rate. The general to particular pattern helps the
audience see the problem in a new way:
Why VIP Needs More Volunteers
Why Some VIP Volunteers Drop Out
Inadequate Training
Feeling that VIP Requires too Much Time
Feeling that the Work Is too Emotionally Demanding
Why Some Students Do Not Volunteer
Feeling that VIP Requires too Much Time
Feeling that the Work Is too Emotionally Demanding
Preference for Volunteering with Another Organization
Lack of Knowledge about VIP Opportunities
How VIP Volunteers Are Currently Trained
Time Demands on VIP Volunteers
Emotional Demands on VIP Volunteers
Ways to Increase Volunteer Commitment and Motivation
Improving Training
Improving the Flexibility of Volunteers’ Hours
Providing Emotional Support to Volunteers
Providing More Information about Community Needs and VIP Services
5. Geographic or Spatial
In a geographic or spatial pattern, you discuss problems and solutions by units by their
physical arrangement. Move from office to office, building to building, factory to factory,
state to state, region to region, and so on.
Is earning a college degree a
good alternative to just going
straight into the workforce?
According to a 2012
Georgetown University report,
despite some majors being
more employable than others,
“extensive research, ours
included, finds that a college
degree is still worth it.” Hard
Times, Not All College Degrees
are Created Equal states the
unemployment rate for people
without a college degree is
more than double that of
people with a degree.
Source: Lisa Manterfield, “College Degrees That Hiring Managers
Love,” downloaded on August 9,
2012, at http://education.yahoo.
net/articles/degrees_with_job_
potential.htm?kid 5 1MNC6 .
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 383loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 383 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
384 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com , www.cartoonstock.com .
A sales report uses a geographic pattern of organization:
Sales Have Risen in the European Economic Community
Sales Have Fallen Slightly in Asia
Sales Are Steady in North America
6. Functional
In functional patterns, discuss the problems and solutions of each functional unit. For
example, a report on a new plant might divide data into sections on the costs of land and
building, on the availability of personnel, on the convenience of raw materials, and so forth.
A government report might divide data into the different functions an office performed,
taking each in turn.
A strategy report for a political party uses a functional pattern of organization:
Current Makeup of the Senate
Senate Seats Open in 2010
Seats Held by a Democratic Incumbent
Races in Which the Incumbent Has a Commanding Lead
Races in Which the Incumbent Is Vulnerable
Seats Held by a Republican Incumbent
Races in Which the Incumbent Has a Commanding Lead
Races in Which the Incumbent Is Vulnerable
Seats Where No Incumbent Is Running
With 60% of employers looking
at credit reports for some
or all job candidates, states
are beginning to pass laws
against the practice. California
is among 7 states now
banning companies from
doing credit checks in some
capacity, and 19 other states
have legislation pending. Still,
some research suggests a
correlation between bad credit
and on-the-job problems, with
one study suggesting nearly
a third of employees with
self-reported credit problems
stole, accepted bribes, or did
other “counterproductive work
behavior.
Source: Annamaria Andriotis, “Hire Hopes for Job Seekers with
Dodgy Credit,” The Wall Street
Journal: Smart Money, February
3, 2012, http://www.smartmoney.
com/plan/careers/hire-hopes-
for-job-seekers-with-dodgy-
credit-1328036148030/.
In any form, good reports always provide enough details for audiences to make sound decisions.
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 384loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 384 1/4/13 3:38 PM1/4/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 23 Short Reports 385
7. Chronological
A chronological report records events in the order in which they happened or are planned
to happen.
Many progress reports are organized chronologically:
Work Completed in October
Work Planned for November
Should I use the same style for reports as for other business documents? LO 23-3
▶ Yes, with three exceptions
The advice about style in Modules 15 and 16 also applies to reports, with three exceptions:
1. Use a fairly formal style, without contractions or slang. 2. Avoid the word you. In a document to multiple audiences, it will not be clear who you
is. Instead, use the company name.
3. Include in the report all the definitions and documents needed to understand the recommendations. The multiple audiences for reports include readers who may consult the document months or years from now. Explain acronyms and abbreviations the first
time they appear. Explain the history or background of the problem. Add as appendixes
previous documents on which you build.
The following points apply to any kind of writing, but they are particularly important
in reports.
1. Say what you mean.
2. Tighten your writing.
3. Use blueprints, transitions, topic sentences, and headings to make your organization
clear to your reader.
Let’s look at each of these principles as they apply to reports.
1. Say What You Mean
Not-quite-right word choices are particularly damaging in reports, which may be skimmed
by readers who know very little about the subject. Putting the meaning of your sentence in
the verbs will help you say what you mean.
Vague: My report revolves around the checkout lines and the methods used to get price checks when they arise.
Better: My report shows how price checks slow checkout lines and recommends ways to reduce the number of price checks needed.
Sometimes you’ll need to completely recast the sentence.
Incorrect: The first problem with the incentive program is that middle managers do not use good interpersonal skills in implementing it. For example, the hotel chef openly ridicules
the program. As a result, the kitchen staff fear being mocked if they participate in the
program.
Better: The first problem with the incentive program is that some middle managers undercut it. For example, the hotel chef openly ridicules the program. As a result, the kitchen staff
fear being mocked if they participate in the program.
Instant Replay
Seven Ways to Organize
Information
1. Comparison/contrast
2. Problem-solution
3. Elimination of alternatives
4. General to particular or
particular to general
5. Geographic or spatial
6. Functional
7. Chronological
“Finely Textured Lean Beef,”
more commonly known as
“pink slime,” got the attention
of consumers recently when it
was revealed that the filler was
in 70% of the ground beef sold
at supermarkets. Once used
only for dog food and cooking
oils, pink slime comes from
the most contaminated parts
of the cow but is simmered
and treated with ammonia gas
to kill germs. Regardless of
which term is more meaningful
to people, if they’ve eaten a
hamburger in the past few
years, chances are they’ve
sampled the filler.
Source: “Is Pink Slime in the Beef at Your Grocery Store?” ABC News,
March 8, 2012, http://abcnews.
go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/03/
is-pink-slime-in-the-beef-at-your-
grocery-store/ .
I R
Seven Ways
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 385loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 385 1/4/13 3:39 PM1/4/13 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
386
2. Tighten Your Writing
Eliminate unnecessary words, use gerunds and infinitives, combine sentences, and reword
sentences to cut the number of words.
Wordy: Campus Jewelers’ main objective is to increase sales. Specifically, the objective is to double sales in the next five years by becoming a more successful business.
Better: Campus Jewelers’ objective is to double sales in the next five years.
3. Use Blueprints, Transitions, Topic Sentences, and Headings
Blueprints are overviews or forecasts that tell the reader what you will discuss in a section or in the entire report. Make your blueprint easy to read by telling the reader how many
points there are and numbering them. In the following example, the first sentence in the
revised paragraph tells the reader to look for four points; the numbers separate the four
points clearly. This overview paragraph also makes a contract with readers, who now
expect to read about tax benefits first and employee benefits last.
Asking Specific and Polite Questions LO 23-4
Building a Critical Skill
Learning to ask the right question the right way is a critical skill in business. Good business communicators use specificity and
politeness.
Specificity
Vague questions often result in vague or rambling answers.
Therefore, make sure you ask the right question for the kind of
answer you want. To get a short answer,
• Give simple choices:
When you work extra hours, would you prefer overtime pay
or comp time (the same number of hours off)?
• Ask the real question.
Not: When do you want to meet? But: Which day is best for you to meet?
• Ask for a quantifiable or measurable response, such as
facts, dates, statistics, and so forth.
What percentage of our customers are repeat business?
When you want longer, more qualitative answers, make your
question specific enough for your audience to understand what
you’re asking:
• Start with one of the five Ws or H: who, what, where,
when, why, or how.
• Add concrete language that invites a qualified response:
What reservations do you have about my proposal?
Why do you want to work for this firm?
Politeness
Politeness is a matter of timing, tone, language, and culture (◀◀ Module 3). Remember that when and how you ask the question
are almost as important as the question itself. To increase your
chances of not offending anyone,
• Use timing. Don’t assault people with questions the moment they arrive or get up to leave. If someone is upset,
give him or her time to calm down. Avoid questions when
it’s obvious someone doesn’t want to answer them.
• Keep questions to a minimum. Review all the resources at your disposal first to see if the answers are there.
• Avoid embarrassing or provocative questions. Even if you are comfortable discussing such issues, don’t assume other people are.
• Avoid language that implies doubt, criticism, or suspicion.
Rude: You don’t really think you can handle this project, do you?
Polite: How do you feel about managing this project?
• Use you-attitude and empathy. Try to look at situations from the other person’s point of view, particularly if a con-
flict is involved.
Because culture affects the rules of politeness—and culture
changes—keep abreast of what is and isn’t acceptable in soci-
ety. Remember that different cultures have different concepts
of politeness.
Instant Replay
Report Style
Reports use the same style
as other business documents,
with three exceptions:
1. Reports use a more formal
style than do many letters
and memos.
2. Reports rarely use the word
you.
3. Reports should be
self-explanatory.
I R
Report Style
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 386loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 386 1/4/13 3:39 PM1/4/13 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 23 Short Reports 387
Paragraph Employee Stock Ownership Programs (ESOPs) have several advantages. without They provide tax benefits for the company. ESOPs also create tax numbers: benefits for employees and for lenders. They provide a defense against
takeovers. In some organizations, productivity increases because workers
now have a financial stake in the company’s profits. ESOPs are an attractive
employee benefit and help the company hire and retain good employees.
Revised Employee Stock Ownership Programs (ESOPs) provide four benefits. paragraph First, ESOPs provide tax benefits for the company, its employees, with and lenders to the plan. Second, ESOPs help create a defense against numbers: takeovers. Third, ESOPs may increase productivity by giving workers a
financial stake in the company’s profits. Fourth, as an attractive employee
benefit, ESOPs help the company hire and retain good employees.
Transitions are words, phrases, or sentences that tell the reader whether the discussion is continuing on the same point or shifting points.
There are economic advantages, too.
(Tells the reader that we are still discussing advantages but that we have now moved to
economic advantages.)
An alternative to this plan is . . .
(Tells reader that a second option follows.)
These advantages, however, are found only in A, not in B or C.
(Prepares reader for a shift from A to B and C.)
A topic sentence introduces or summarizes the main idea of a paragraph. Readers who skim reports can follow your ideas more easily if each paragraph begins with a
topic sentence.
Hard to read Another main use of ice is to keep the fish fresh. Each (no topic sentence): of the seven kinds of fish served at the restaurant requires one gallon
twice a day, for a total of 14 gallons. An additional 6 gallons a day are
required for the salad bar.
Better (begins Twenty gallons of ice a day are needed to keep food fresh. with topic Of this, the biggest portion (14 gallons) is used to keep sentence): the fish fresh. Each of the seven kinds of fish served at the restaurant
requires one gallon twice a day (7 3 2 5 14). An additional 6 gallons a
day are required for the salad bar.
Headings are single words, short phrases, or complete sentences that indicate the topic in each section. A heading must cover all of the material under it until the next heading.
For example, Cost of Tuition cannot include the cost of books or of room and board. You can have just one paragraph under a heading or several pages. If you do have several pages
between headings, you may want to consider using subheadings. Use subheadings only
when you have two or more divisions within a main heading.
Topic headings focus on the structure of the report. As you can see from the following example, topic headings give very little information.
Recommendation
Problem
Situation 1
Situation 2
Causes of the Problem
Background
Cause 1
Cause 2
Recommended Solution
Disorganization in writing
often causes problems for
readers, but disorganization in
general can cause problems
in business. A survey of
18,000 executives by Express
Employment Professionals
found that more than half said
they lose nine hours a week
on the job due to a lack of
organization. Disorganized
employees who earn $50,000
annually can cost companies
$11,000 a year in lost hours.
Source: Janis Petrini, “Business Leaders Lose Hours to
Disorganization,” July 7, 2012,
http://www.corpmagazine.com/
management/human-resources/
itemid/5887/business-leaders-lose-
hours-to-disorganization .
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 387loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 387 1/4/13 3:39 PM1/4/13 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
388 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Talking heads, in contrast, tell the reader what to expect. Talking or informative heads, like those in the examples in this chapter, provide an overview of each section and of the
entire report:
Recommended Reformulation for Vibe Bleach
Problems in Maintaining Vibe’s Granular Structure
Solidifying during Storage and Transportation
Customer Complaints about “Blocks” of Vibe in Boxes
Why Vibe Bleach “Cakes”
Vibe’s Formula
The Manufacturing Process
The Chemical Process of Solidification
Modifications Needed to Keep Vibe Flowing Freely
Headings must be parallel (◀◀ p. 74), that is, they must use the same grammatical structure. Subheads must be parallel to each other but do not necessarily have to be parallel
to subheads under other headings.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• For informative or closure reports, include: (LO 23-1) • An introductory paragraph summarizing problems or
successes.
• A chronological account of how the problem was discov-
ered, what was done, and what the results were.
• A concluding paragraph with suggestions for action.
• For feasibility reports, include: (LO 23-1) • An opening with explanations of the decision to be made, alter-
natives, and criteria.
• A body discussing each alternative.
• A conclusion with a recommendation. The recommendation
could also come at the beginning if that’s where the reader
wants it.
• For justification reports, include: (LO 23-1) • An indication of what you’re asking for and why.
• A brief discussion on the background of the problem.
• An explanation for each possible solution.
• A summary of the action needed to implement your
recommendation.
• A call for action.
• For reluctant readers, use a variation of the problem- solving
pattern described in Module 12 for justification reports.
(LO 23-1) • Comparison/contrast takes up each alternative in turn. The
pro and con pattern divides the alternatives and discusses the arguments for and against that alternative. A problem-solving report identifies the problem, explains its causes, and ana- lyzes the advantages and disadvantages of possible solutions.
Elimination identifies the problem, explains its causes, and dis- cusses the least practical solutions first, ending with the one the
writer favors. General to particular begins with the problem as it affects the organization or as it manifests itself in general,
then moves to a discussion of the parts of the problem and solu-
tions to each of these parts. Particular to general starts with specific aspects of the problem, then moves to a discussion
of the larger implications of the problem for the organization.
Geographic or spatial patterns discuss the problems and solu- tions by units. Functional patterns discuss the problems and solutions of each functional unit. (LO 23-2)
• Reports use the same style as other business documents, with
three exceptions: (LO 23-3) 1. Reports use a more formal style than do many letters and
memos.
2. Reports rarely use the word you. 3. Reports should be self-explanatory.
• To create good report style, (LO 23-3) 1. Say what you mean.
2. Tighten your writing.
3. Use blueprints, transitions, topic sentences, and headings.
• Headings are single words, short phrases, or complete sen- tences that cover all of the material under a heading until the
next heading. Informative or talking heads tell the reader what to expect in each section. (LO 23-3)
• Learning to ask the right question the right way is a critical
skill in business. Avoid vague questions. Give simple choices if
you want a short answer and specific information if you want a
longer answer. Be polite. Time your message for the appropri-
ate moment, keep questions to a minimum, avoid embarrassing
questions, and avoid language that implies doubt or criticism.
Use you-attitude and empathy. (LO 23-4)
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 388loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 388 1/4/13 3:39 PM1/4/13 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 23 Short Reports 389
Assignments for Module 23
23.1 What are the seven basic patterns for organizing informa- tion? (LO 23-1)
23.2 What is a blueprint? (LO 23-4)
23.3 What is a talking head? (LO 23-4)
Questions for Comprehension
23.4 Why shouldn’t you put all the information you have into a report? (LO 23-1, LO 23-2)
23.5 Why do reports often use a more formal style than other business documents? (LO 23-4)
23.6 Why should you avoid you in reports? (LO 23-4)
23.7 Why are topic sentences especially useful in reports? (LO 23-4)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Write a report explaining the “best practices” of the unit
where you work that could also be adopted by other units in
your organization.
Exercises and Problems
23.8 Explaining “Best Practices” (LO 23-1 to LO 23-4)
Write a report recommending an action that your unit or
organization should take. Address your report to the person
who would have the power to approve your recommenda-
tion. Possibilities include
• Hiring an additional worker for your department.
Survey two groups of people on a topic that interests you.
Possible groups are men and women, people in business and
in English programs, younger and older students, students
and townspeople. Nonrandom samples are acceptable.
As Your Instructor Directs, a. Survey 40 to 50 people.
b. Team up with your classmates. Survey 50 to 80 people if
your group has two members, 75 to 120 people if it has
three members, 100 to 150 people if it has four mem-
bers, and 125 to 200 people if it has five members.
c. Keep a journal during your group meetings and submit
it to your instructor.
d. Write a memo to your instructor describing and evaluat-
ing your group’s process for designing, conducting, and
writing up the survey. (◀◀ See Module 18 on working and writing in groups.)
As you conduct your survey, make careful notes about
what you do so you can use this information when you
write up your survey. If you work with a group, record who
does what.
Use complete memo format. Your subject line should
be clear and reasonably complete. Omit unnecessary
words such as “Survey of.” Your first paragraph serves as
an introduction, but it needs no heading. The rest of the
body of your memo will be divided into four sections with
the following headings: Purpose, Procedure, Results,
and Discussion.
• Making your organization more family friendly.
• Making a change that will make the organization more
efficient.
• Making changes to improve accessibility for customers
or employees with disabilities.
In your first paragraph, briefly summarize (not neces-
sarily in this order) who conducted the experiment or sur-
vey, when it was conducted, where it was conducted, who
the subjects were, what your purpose was, and what you
found out.
In your Purpose section, explain why you conducted the survey. What were you trying to learn? Why did this
subject seem interesting or important?
In your Procedure section, describe in detail exactly what you did.
In your Results section, first tell whether your results supported your hypothesis. Use both visuals and words to
explain what your numbers show. (▶▶ See Module 25 on how to design visuals.) Process your raw data in a way that
will be useful to your reader.
In your Discussion section, evaluate your survey and discuss the implications of your results. Consider these
questions:
1. Do you think a scientifically valid survey would have
produced the same results? Why or why not?
2. Were there any sources of bias either in the way the
questions were phrased or in the way the subjects were
chosen? If you were running the survey again, what
changes would you make to eliminate or reduce these
sources of bias?
3. Do you think your subjects answered honestly and com-
pletely? What factors may have intruded? Is the fact that
23.9 Recommending Action (LO 23-1 to LO 23-4)
23.10 Writing Up a Survey (LO 23-1 to LO 23-4)
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 389loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 389 1/4/13 3:39 PM1/4/13 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
390 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
you did or didn’t know them, were or weren’t of the
same sex relevant?
4. What causes the phenomenon your results reveal? If
several causes together account for the phenomenon, or if
it is impossible to be sure of the cause, admit this. Identify
possible causes and assess the likelihood of each.
5. What action should be taken?
The discussion section gives you the opportunity to ana-
lyze the significance of your survey. Its insight and origi-
nality lift the otherwise well-written memo from the ranks
of the merely satisfactory to the ranks of the above-average
and the excellent.
23.11 Writing a Report Based on Your Knowledge and Experience (LO 23-1 to LO 23-4)
Write a report on one of the following topics.
1. What should a U.S. or Canadian manager know about
dealing with workers from ______ [you fill in the country
or culture]? What factors do and do not motivate people
in this group? How do they show respect and deference?
Are they used to a strong hierarchy or to an egalitarian
setting? Do they normally do one thing at once or many
things? How important is clock time and being on time?
What factors lead them to respect someone? Age? Expe-
rience? Education? Technical knowledge? Wealth? Or
what? What conflicts or miscommunications may arise
between workers from this culture and other workers
due to cultural differences? Are people from this culture
pretty similar in these beliefs and behaviors, or are there
lots of variation?
2. Describe an ethical dilemma encountered by workers in
a specific organization. What is the background of the
situation? What competing loyalties exist? In the past,
how have workers responded? How has the organization
responded? Have “whistle-blowers” been rewarded or
punished? What could the organization do to foster ethi-
cal behavior?
3. Describe a problem or challenge encountered by an
organization where you’ve worked. Show why it needed
to be solved, tell who did what to try to solve it, and tell
how successful the efforts were. Possibilities include
• How the organization is implementing work teams,
downsizing, or a change in organizational culture.
• How the organization uses e-mail or voice mail, sta-
tistical process control, or telecommuting.
• How managers deal with stress, make ethical choices,
or evaluate subordinates.
• How the organization is responding to changing U.S.
demographics, the Americans with Disabilities Act,
international competition and opportunities, or chal-
lenges from dot.com companies.
Being concise in business writing means using only necessary words to make your point, without sacrificing politeness or clarity.
Wordy sentences may confuse or slow readers:
Wordy: All of our employees at Haddenfield and Dunne should make themselves available for a seminar
meeting on the 5th of August, 2010, at 10 o’clock
in the morning. Please make sure you come to the
conference room on the 2nd Floor of the Main
Complex.
Concise: Please plan to attend a seminar at 10 AM on August 5 in the Main Complex 2nd Floor conference room.
Being concise does not mean eliminating necessary informa-
tion. Sometimes you’ll have to write longer sentences to be clear.
Nor does tightening your writing mean using short, choppy
sentences.
Choppy: We have a new copier. It is in the supply room. Use it during regular hours. After 5 PM, it will be shut
down.
Concise: A new copier is available in the supply room for use before 5 PM.
Use Concrete Words.
Instead of vague nouns and verbs with strings of modifiers, use
specifics.
Vague: The person who drops off packages talked about the subject of how much to charge.
Concrete: The delivery person discussed fees.
Avoid Vague or Empty Modifiers.
Words like very, some, many, few, much, kind of/sort of, and so forth usually can be cut.
Cut Redundant Words or Phrases.
Don’t say the same thing twice. Cease and desist, first and fore- most, the newest and latest, official company policy, 24 stories tall, said out loud, and return the form back to me are all redundant.
Avoid Unnecessarily Complex Constructions.
Instead of the bid that won the contract, use the winning bid.
Being Concise
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 390loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 390 1/4/13 3:39 PM1/4/13 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 23 Short Reports 391
Stick to Simple Verb Tenses.
Standard edited English prefers them. Instead of “I have been attending the University of Michigan” use “I attend the Univer- sity of Michigan.” Instead of “By 2006, I will have completed my junior year” use “I will be a senior by 2006.”
Exercises
Rewrite the following sentences to make them concise.
1. It is very much in the best interest of our business, Sam Chen
said out loud, to make our company’s buildings at least three
stories tall.
2. Please find attached the required and necessary paperwork
forms to be completed by yourself at the earliest of your
convenience.
3. Take this release to Andrea, please. Ask her to sign it. Bring it
back to me. Get it back by 5 p.m.
4. There are a very many people who are kind of aware of the
possibility that we may well decide to enter the Asian market.
5. Heather Ansel said out loud that she is planning to come to
the event on March the 19th where our celebration for the year
will be enjoyed at a formal dinner.
6. First and foremost it is of the utmost importance that we return
the proofed copy to the people who are doing the graphic
design as quickly as is humanly possible.
7. At about 11:34 a.m., Margaret Kim e-mailed to inform those
of us working as a team on the project that we had been
awarded a contractual obligation with Tanner, Dempsey, and
Mihalek.
8. We should cease and desist at once all official company cor-
respondence with the company that supplies our wholesale
goods and services until we determine if it has complied with
our official company policies and so forth.
9. I have been attending classes in the field of business at the
community college which is local and close to the building at
where I am currently employed and my office therein.
10. Derek stopped by at about 1:22 p.m. He wanted to discuss
something. He was concerned about our merger with Addi-
son, Plymouth and Partners. He thought we should do the due
diligence again. Derek started some of the work. He is a very
responsible executive.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 391loc03261_ch23_377-391.indd 391 1/4/13 3:39 PM1/4/13 3:39 PM
Confirming pages
392
Long Reports
F ormal reports are distinguished from informal letter and memo reports by their length and by
their components. A full formal report may (but does not have to) contain all of the following
components:
Cover
Title Page
Letter of Transmittal
Table of Contents
List of Illustrations
Executive Summary
Report Body
Module
24
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
LO 24-1 Organize time for report writing.
LO 24-2 Apply strategies for report section writing.
LO 24-3 Compare and contrast formats and styles for long reports.
By following the advice in Module 24, you can develop strong skills for writing long reports. After
completing the module, you should be able to
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 392loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 392 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Audiences will appreciate your organizing reports around the information they actually want and need.
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com , www.cartoonstock.com .
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 393
Introduction (Usually has subheadings for Purpose and Scope; may also have Limita-
tions, Assumptions, and Methods.)
Background/History of the Problem (Serves as a record for later readers of the report.)
Body (Presents and interprets data in words and visuals. Analyzes causes of the prob-
lem and evaluates possible solutions. Specific headings will depend on the topic of the
report.)
Conclusions (Summarizes main points of report.)
Recommendations (Recommends actions to solve the problem. May be combined with
Conclusions; may be put before body rather than at the end.)
References or Works Cited (Documents or sources cited in the report.)
Appendixes (Provide additional materials that the careful reader may want: transcript
of an interview, copies of questionnaires, tallies of all the questions, computer print-
outs, previous reports.)
I’ve never written anything so long. How should I organize my time? LO 24-1
▶ Write parts as soon as you can.
▶ Spend most of your time on sections that support your recommendations.
Figure 24.1 shows how you might allocate your time in writing a long report.
To use your time efficiently, think about the parts of the report before you begin writing.
Much of the Introduction comes from your proposal with only minor revisions: Purpose,
Scope, Assumptions, and Methods.
The bibliography from your proposal can form the first draft of your References or
Works Cited.
Save a copy of your questionnaire or interview questions to use as an appendix. As
you tally and analyze the data, prepare an appendix summarizing all the responses to your
questionnaire, your figures and tables, and a complete list of References or Works Cited.
You can write the Title Page and the Letter of Transmittal as soon as you know what
your recommendation will be.
Innovative annual reports
include that of Austria Solar—
the report’s text and graphics
are invisible until sunlight
hits them. It was designed
by Cosimo Moller, whose
inspiration came when sunlight
“was shining on my notepad
and was reflected so intensely
that I wasn’t able to read my
words anymore. So, the idea
was born: Does it work the
other way around?”
Source: Tim Nudd, “Solar Company’s Annual Report Is
Visible Only in Sunlight,” AdWeek,
February 27, 2012, http://www.
adweek.com/adfreak/solar-
companys-annual-report-visible-
only-sunlight-138584 .
Site to See
Go to
www.graphis.com/cfe/ online/100bestannualrepo rts2012/
for Graphis’ Top 100 Annual
Reports winners.
Go to
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 393loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 393 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Rev.confirming pages
394 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
After you’ve analyzed your data, write the Executive Summary, the Report Body, and
the Conclusions and Recommendations. Prepare a draft of the table of contents and the list
of illustrations.
When you write a long report, list all the sections (headings) that your report will have.
Mark those that are most important to your reader and your proof, and spend most of your
time on them. Write the important sections early. That way, you won’t spend all your time
on Background or History of the Problem. Instead, you’ll get to the meat of your report.
How do I create each of the parts of a formal report? LO 24-2
▶ Follow the example here.
As you read each of the following sections, you may want to turn to the corresponding
pages of the long report in Figure 24.2 to see how the component is set up and how it
relates to the total report.
Figure 24.1 Allocating Time in Writing a Report (Your time may vary.)
Report recommending alternative dispute resolution. Total time: 80 hours
Planning 40 hours
Conduct research, following proposal.
Evaluate and analyze data.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1).
Think about document design (◀◀ Module 5).
Organize the message.
Writing 20 hours
Draft the report.
Draft the visuals (▶▶ Module 25).
Prepare appendixes.
Draft PowerPoint slides.
Revising 20 hours
Reread draft of report and visuals.
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions, proposal, and principles of business
communication.
Revise draft.
Ask for feedback on recommendations, report design, visuals, and slides.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit document, visuals, and slides to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Initial or sign.
Make the necessary copies.
Submit the report.
Present results orally.
Analyzing report data helps
organizations to strategize.
Orbitz, for instance, found
Apple users spend as much as
30% more per night on hotels
than PC users, so anyone
searching the site with a Mac
gets pricier options. A lack
of career coaching hinders
corporate advancement for
women, or so a report by
consulting firm McKinsey and
Company determined. Only 11
Fortune 500 CEOs are women,
and better career coaching
may help more ambitious
executives. “By increasing the
number of women who make
it from middle management
to the vice presidential level,
corporations could vastly
improve the odds for building
diversity in top management,”
the report contends. Bain
and Company found a
third of colleges are on an
unsustainable financial path.
The firm’s controversial study
reviewed endowments and
other assets, hit hard by the
financial downturn of the past
few years. Another conclusion?
Administrative expenditures
are also culprits. “In no other
industry would overhead costs
be allowed to grow at this
rate—executives would lose
their jobs,” the report argues.
Sources: Dana Mattioli, “On Orbtiz, Mac Users Steered to Pricier
Hotels,” The Wall Street Journal,
June 26, 2012, http://online.wsj.
com/article/SB10001424052702
3044586045774888226673258
82.html ; JoAnn Lublin, “Coaching
Urged for Women,” The Wall Street
Journal, April 4, 2011, http://online.
wsj.com/article/SB100014240527
48704530204576237203974840
800.html ; and Goldie Blumenstyk,
“One-Third of Colleges Are on a
Financially ‘Unsustainable’ Path,
Bain Study Finds,” The Chronicle
of Higher Education, July 23, 2012,
http://chronicle.com/article/One-
Third-of-Colleges-Are-on/133095/ .
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 394loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 394 25/01/13 10:03 PM25/01/13 10:03 PM
Why Shepherd Greene Industries Should Develop an ADR Program to Handle
Employment Disputes
Prepared for
Mr. Richard Yang Director
Legal Department Shepherd Greene Industries
Worthington, OH 43235
Prepared by
Anwar Abbe Candice Call
Heather Driscoll Tony Yang
Columbus State Community College Columbus, OH 43215
December 10, 2012
10 – 14 spaces
10 – 14 spaces
Center each line.
Use a large font. This is 18-point.
Center each line.
Name of reader job title, organization city, state, Zip code.
City, state, Zip code.
Date report is released.
4 – 10 spaces
No punctuation. Double–space.
No punctuation. Double–space.
Change to 12-point type.
1 – 2"12
1 – 2"12
Name(s) of writer(s).
Figure 24.2 A Long Report
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 395
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 395loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 395 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
550 East Town Street
Apartment 201
Columbus, OH 43210
December 10, 2012
Mr. Richard Yang
Director
Legal Department
Shepherd Greene Industries
3241 Corporate Center Way
Worthington, OH 43235
Dear Mr. Yang:
Enclosed is the report you requested in October on whether Shepherd Greene Industries should
adopt an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) program. We believe it should. An ADR
program can
• Clear our cluttered court system of cases which can be settled by other means. • Reduce costs of litigating employee grievances. • Reduce the amount of time required to settle disputes. • Increase employee morale by involving employees in the dispute resolution process.
Shepherd Greene should conduct further research to determine which ADR plan to adopt,
involve the union in deciding which plan to use, support the plan financially, and pilot the plan
for a year.
The Air Force already uses ADR. Adopting an ADR program will both enhance the stability of
Shepherd Greene’s workforce and create another point of similarity between the Air Force and
Shepherd Greene, making it easier for the Air Force to accept Shepherd Greene's bid to
manufacture replacement parts for combat aircraft.
The information in this report came from print and online sources, as well as interviews with
Richard Yang and Chuck Scanlon at Shepherd Greene. We appreciate the time they took from
busy schedules to meet with us.
Thank you for the opportunity to conduct this research. We appreciate the chance to apply our
knowledge to helping Shepherd Greene achieve its goal of reducing legal costs while providing
an effective means to settle employee grievances.
If you have any questions about this report, please ask!
Sincerely, Sincerely, Sincerely, Sincerely,
Anwar Abbe Candice Call Heather Driscoll Tony Yang
[email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected]
In paragraph 1, release the report. Note when and by whom the report
was authorized. Note report’s purpose.
Thank people
who helped
you.
Give recommend
ations
or thesis.
Thank the reader for the opportunity to do the research.
Offer to answer questions about the report. Answers would be included in your
fee, if any—no extra charge!
Center page number at the bottom of the page.
Use a lowercase Roman numeral.
You may also design a letterhead for yourself,
especially if you’re assuming that you are doing the report
as a consultant.
This letter uses block format (see Figure 9.2). Modified block is also acceptable.
i
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
396 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 396loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 396 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Table of Contents
Letter of Transmittal i
Executive Summary iii
Introduction 1
Problem 1
Purpose and Scope 1
Assumptions 1
Limitations 2
Criteria 2
What ADR Is 2
Using ADR to Resolve Employment Disputes 2
Early Use of ADR in Employment Disputes 3
Why ADR Has Become a Popular Way to Settle Employment Disputes 3
Organizations Using ADR to Settle Employment Disputes 4
Results of ADR Programs 4
Resolving Disputes 4
Clearing Court Dockets 5
Saving Time 5
Saving Money 5
Building Goodwill 5
Model ADR Programs 7
Resources Required to Create and Implement an ADR Program 8
Conclusions and Recommendations 8
1. Do Further Research to Determine Which ADR Plan to Use. 8
2. Involve the Union in Deciding Which ADR Plan to Use. 9
3. Support ADR Financially. 9
4. Pilot the Program for a Year. 9
Works Cited 10
List of Illustrations
Figure 1 Lawsuits against Employers Skyrocket 3
Figure 2 Satisfaction Doubles with ADR 6
ii
Table of Contents does not list itself.
Indent subheads.
Capitalize first letter
of each major word in headings.
Some reports have separate sections
for “Conclusions” and
“Recommendations.”
Headings or subheadings must be parallel within a section.
Add a “List of Illustrations” at the bottom of the Table of Contents or on a separate page if the
report has graphs and other visuals. Omit “List of Illustrations” if you have only tables.
Use lowercase Roman numerals for
front matter.
Intro begins
on page “1”.
Line up right margin ( justify).
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 397
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 397loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 397 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Why Shepherd Greene Industries Should Develop an ADR Program to Handle Employee Disputes
Executive Summary
Shepherd Greene Industries should adopt an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) program to
handle employee disputes. ADR includes negotiation, in which the parties simply work out a solution
together; mediation, in which a third party helps the disputing parties reach an agreement; and
arbitration, in which a third party determines a solution which the disputing parties must accept. ADR
programs are increasingly common in both private companies and federal agencies.
Lawsuits arising from employee disputes cost the company thousands of dollars and hundreds of
staff hours, not including any settlement or judgment costs, and take the legal staff away from its primary
duty of reviewing bids and contracts with Shepherd Greene’s customers and suppliers. Shepherd Greene
has submitted a bid to the US Air Force to manufacture replacement parts for combat aircraft. Programs
that minimize employee grievances would enhance Shepherd Greene’s application.
ADR programs have a good record of resolving disputes while saving time and money and
building goodwill. Organizations using ADR report success rates of more than 60%, sometimes
reaching 100%. In some organizations, most of the cases are resolved through informal consultation,
before formal mediation or arbitration is necessary. Instead of taking months or years, ADR can settle
disputes in as little as a day. The legal costs saved by adopting ADR are substantial. Estimates for
processing and legal fees range from $1,795 for a single case (Blanchard and McDade) to $77,000
(Senger). GE estimates that its Early Dispute Resolution program saves $15 million a year (Paquin,
Victor, and Villarreal 24).
To adopt an ADR program, Shepherd Greene should
1. Do further research to determine which ADR plan to use. The four-step model used by Science Applications International Corporation (SAIC) offers a possible model, but the
company should also talk to faculty in the Dispute Resolution Program at The Ohio State
University Moritz College of Law and to the US Air Force, which itself has an award-winning
ADR program.
2. Involve the union in deciding which ADR plan to use. The union, its president believes, is receptive to ADR. To make the implementation as smooth as possible, union representatives
should be involved in researching additional ADR plans and recommending one.
3. Support ADR financially. Shepherd Greene should supply funds for • Release time for personnel. • ADR training. • Publicizing the program. • Funds to hire mediators and arbitrators.
In some plans, such as SAIC’s, employees who seek mediators and arbitrators pay part of the
cost of hiring these people.
4. Pilot the program for a year. While several organizations now have experience with ADR, many different specifics are possible. It will be easier to get a program started if people know that it
can be modified (or even disbanded) later as Shepherd Greene gains experience with ADR.
Report title.
Start with recommendations or thesis.
Provide brief
support for each
recommendation.
Language in Executive Summary can come from report. Make sure any repeated language is well-written.
The Executive Summary contains the logical skeleton of the report: the recommendation(s) and evidence
supporting them.
Document sources in the Executive Summary as you would in the report.
iii
MLA Style omits the periods in “US.”
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
398 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 398loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 398 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Introduction
Many private companies and government agencies use Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) programs to
resolve disputes with employees. Adopting an ADR program would save time and money for Shepherd
Greene.
Problem
Shepherd Greene wants an alternative to traditional court remedies, which have had mixed results for the
company in the recent past. In 1999, an employee fired for poor attendance sued, claiming a manager had
illegally altered her time cards. After two years in the courts, Shepherd Greene settled for an undisclosed
amount. In 2004, two employees fired for failing on-the-job drug tests unsuccessfully sued the company to get
their jobs back, appealing the case all the way to the State of Ohio Supreme Court. In 2011, a coalition of
employees sued the company about a management structure that allegedly keeps black employees in low-level
jobs. The suit is still pending.
These lawsuits take months or even years to work through the court system, costing the company
thousands of dollars, not including any settlement or judgment cost. Although outside attorneys are also hired,
preparing these cases requires hundreds of staff hours and takes the legal staff away from its primary duty of
reviewing bids and contracts with Shepherd Greene’s customers and suppliers.
Shepherd Greene has another reason to change the way it handles employment disputes. The company
has submitted a bid to the US Air Force to manufacture replacement parts for combat aircraft. In addition to
adhering to strict manufacturing guidelines and having the highest security clearance, the successful company
must demonstrate stability in its labor and management practices. Programs that minimize employee griev-
ances thus would enhance Shepherd Greene’s application.
Purpose and Scope
The purpose of this report is to recommend whether it is feasible for Shepherd Greene to adopt an Alterna-
tive Dispute Resolution program for employee disputes.
In this report, we will focus on how ADR can settle employee grievances, the savings in time and money
from using ADR, the goodwill gained by using ADR, model ADR programs, and the resources required for
Shepherd Greene to develop its own ADR program. We will briefly discuss the effect of using ADR on crowded
court dockets and the potential for an ADR program at Shepherd Greene to succeed.
Assumptions
Our recommendation is based on three assumptions:
• The frequency and severity of employee grievances at Shepherd Greene will remain steady or rise. • Legal costs will remain steady or rise. • The time required to litigate cases in the courts will remain steady or rise.
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 1
A running header is optional. Use the report
title or a short modification of it.
Here, the running head and page numbers are one point size smaller than the text
used for the body of the report.
Give topics in the order in which you’ll discuss them.
Assumptions cannot be proven. But if they are wrong, the report’s recommendation may no longer be valid.
Start with introduction.
Center first-level heads. This report uses bold (one point larger than body).
Rhetorical purpose V ary paragraph lengths to
provide good visual impact.
Tell what you discuss and how thoroughly y ou discuss each topic.
Scope section should match report.
Triple-space (2 empty spaces) before new heading.
Double-space (1 empty space) after heading before first paragraph.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 399
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 399loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 399 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Limitations
This report depends almost entirely on print and online sources. Before adopting a specific ADR system,
Shepherd Greene should talk with people experienced with ADR, such as faculty in the Dispute Resolution
Program at The Ohio State University Moritz College of Law.
Criteria
According to Shepherd Greene’s Legal Department Director, Richard Yang, an ADR program must satisfy
three criteria:
1. The program must reduce the time and money currently spent on legal remedies.
2. It must be possible to create and implement the program within the existing $1.2 million annual operating
budget for Shepherd Greene’s Legal Department.
3. The program must be approved not only by Shepherd Greene’s management but also by the employee
union.
What ADR Is
West's Legal Environment of Business defines ADR as “any procedure or device for resolving disputes other than the tradional judicial process” (Cross and Miller 60). ADR includes negotiation, in which the parties simply
work out a solution together; mediation, in which a third party helps the disputing parties reach an agreement;
and arbitration, in which a third party determines a solution which the disputing parties must accept.
ADR is not limited to employer–employee disputes. Instead, ADR can be used for any dispute that might
otherwise result in a lawsuit: as an alternative to divorce litigation, to resolve disputes between companies and
customers or suppliers, or even to resolve disputes between states or countries.
Cross and Miller note that formal procedures for ADR have become increasingly common as lawsuits have
become more expensive and time-consuming. The huge backlog of court cases means that years can elapse before
a case comes to trial. In the early 1990s, Congress “required the federal court cases to develop a plan to cut court
costs and reduce delay within the federal judicial system” (60). Today, only 5% to 10% of the lawsuits that are
filed actually result in a trial; the rest are dismissed or settled out of court (59).
ADR is now becoming sufficiently common that some writers have dropped the label “alternative” and
simply discuss methods of “dispute resolution.” Even people who keep the “A” sometimes redesignate it:
Attorney General Janet Reno said the ADR stood for “Appropriate Dispute Resolution” (Senger). We will keep the
“A” in ADR since the acronym is so widely known.
Using ADR to Resolve Employment Disputes
In essence, any program that allows an aggrieved employee and employer to settle claims without going to
court qualifies as ADR. Thus, a simple discussion between the employee and management to arrive at a mutually
agreeable solution to a problem that otherwise would go to court is ADR. Formal ADR programs can include
mediation, arbitration, mini-trials, fact-finding, private judging, or summary-jury trials (Kelly 4).
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 2
If you use only library and online sources, y ou do not need a
“Methods” section.
If your report has limitations, state them.
These ideas could be presented in a paragraph. But the list provides visual variety and makes it easier for the reader to skim the page.
Triple-space (2 empty spaces) before new head. Double-space after head before paragraph.
Document your sources!
Period after parentheses when the quotation is short and not indented.
Give page numbers for facts, not just quotes, in MLA Style.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
400 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 400loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 400 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Early Use of ADR in Employment Disputes
Using ADR to resolve disputes between employers and employees is not new. Michael R. Carrell and
Christina Heavrin note that the first mention of labor arbitration “dates to a clause in the constitution of the
Journeymen Cabinet-Makers of Philadelphia in 1829“ while the “earliest recorded arbitration hearing occurred
in 1865 when iron workers in Pittsburgh arbitrated their wages” (408). The United States Conciliation Service,
part of the Department of Labor, began mediating and arbitrating labor disputes during World War I and
continued to do so until after World War II, when it was replaced by Federal Mediation and Conciliation
Service (Barrett 40-41).
Eileen Kelly notes that in 2001, the US Supreme Court upheld a company’s right to require non-union
applicants and employees to use arbitration to settle employee disputes (Circuit City Stores, Inc. v. Adams, 121
S. Ct. 1302). The decision sets a precedent for companies to require non-union employees to use ADR as a
mandatory condition of employment. That is, by accepting a job, a candidate agrees not to sue the employer if
a dispute arises but to submit to binding arbitration. The Supreme Court decision did not speak to unionized
organizations. Presumably, if a union represents employees, the employer and the union must agree in
advance to the conditions of ADR, such as binding arbitration (4).
Why ADR Has Become a Popular Way to Settle Employee Disputes
Two factors explain the growing interest in ADR to settle employee disputes: the drastic increase in the
number of disputes, and the high costs of settling them with litigation.
In the 2000s, the number of lawsuits filed by employees against employers skyrocketed. As Katherine
Stone reports, in 2006 more than twice as many employment discrimination cases were filed in federal courts
as had been filed in 2000 (29). See Figure 1. Today, employment lawsuits comprise 15% of the load of cases in
federal courts (Bedikian 33).
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 3
Figure 1
Employee Lawsuits against Employers Skyrocket
25,000
20,000
15,000
10,000
5,000
0
1999 2006
Cases Filed
in Federal
Court
2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005
Source of data: Stone 29-30
Provide a source for data when you get num bers but
not the chart from someone else.
Tell a story with your figure title.
Refer to figures in your text.
Page number covers all sentences from citation to number.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 401
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 401loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 401 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 4
The cost of settling these cases also skyrocketed. As Katherine Stone reports, in the period 1989-90,
plaintiffs began to win large judgments [ . . . which] hit an all-time high in 1990. That year,
plaintiffs who prevailed won an astounding average recovery of $1,989,300. Of the 254 cases that went to juries, plaintiffs prevailed 38% of the time and recovered an average judgment of $2,652,270. (29; emphasis in original)
The judgments Stone cites exclude legal fees.
The amount losing companies had to pay increased further when, in 1991, Title VII was amended to
allow the winning party to collect attorney fees from the losing party and to receive punitive damages as well
as money for actual damages (Stone 29). Such fees help explain why Texaco recently paid $176.1 million and
Coca-Cola paid $192.5 million to settle race discrimination cases (Kelly 4).
Clearly, it is in employers’ interests to find ways to settle employee disputes without going to court.
Organizations Using ADR to Settle Employee Disputes
ADR is an increasingly popular form of dispute resolution. A 2007 survey of Fortune 1000 companies by
PricewaterhouseCoopers and Cornell University found that 87% had used forms of ADR in the previous three
years (Meade and Zimmerman 60). Companies using ADR include Alcoa, Anheuser-Busch, GE, Halliburton,
Johnson & Johnson, Masco, McGraw-Hill, Science Applications International, Sears, UAL, and UBS Paine-
Webber (Bresler 3; Longstreth 18; F. Phillips).
Acts passed by Congress in 1991 and 1996 and a Presidential Memorandum in 1998 directed all executive
federal agencies to use ADR (Blanchard and McDade). The US Office of Personnel Management’s website,
Alternative Dispute Resolution: A Resource Guide, links to the ADR programs of 53 federal agencies, including the Air Force, Army, Navy, Defense Logistics Agency, National Aeronautics and Space Administration, and
National Security Agency.
ADR is not limited to disputes between individual employees and their employers. In the late 1990s, a
“massive” sexual harassment suit brought against the Mitsubishi company was settled with the aid of a federal
mediator (Senger).
Results of ADR Programs
ADR programs have a good record of resolving disputes while saving time and money and building
goodwill.
Resolving Disputes
ADR programs work. Of the 13,000 disputes mediated in the US Postal Service’s ADR program from
1998 to 2001, 61% were settled; of those, 94% were settled without any cash settlement (Bedikian 33). The Air
Force’s award-winning ADR program resolves 75% of the disputes which use ADR. Some locations have even
higher success rates: the Tinker Air Force base has an 85% success rate, and the Los Angeles Air Force base has a
100% success rate (Blanchard and McDade). A study of 20 large ADR programs by the CPR Institute found that
“nearly all disputes submitted to systemic [sic] employment dispute programs are resolved by agreement, prior
to the arbitration stage” (F. Phillips).
Long quotations are indented, one inch; no quotation marks needed.
The period goes before the parenthesis when the quote is long and indented.
Use first initial when two or more authors share a last name.
Use an acronym only if it will appear more than once; spell out names the first time you use them.
Web source, so no page number. Heading must cover everything under that heading until the next head or subhead at that level.
List points in the order in which you’ll discuss them.
Begin most paragraphs with topic sentences.
Use square brackets for anything you add in quote. Sic indicates that the error is in the original.
Use square brackets for your changes in quoted text.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
402 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 402loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 402 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
A Northeastern University survey finds that disputes that do not settle fall into two groups: the “Jackpot
Syndrome,” where plaintiffs are seeking only money, and situations where it is simply not in the financial
interests of one party to settle (G. Phillips 66). Shepherd Greene Legal Department Director Richard Yang
believes that the company has yet to encounter an aggrieved employee who fits these conditions.
Clearing Court Dockets
Since 1960, the number of lawsuits (of all types) in the United States has tripled, but the number of
judges and courts has not changed significantly (Cross and Miller 59). The resulting bottleneck contributes to
the slow passage of cases through the legal system. As we have seen, employment lawsuits comprise 15% of
the load of cases in federal courts (Bedikian 33). If most or all of these cases were resolved through alternate
means, court dockets would be less clogged.
Saving Time
Instead of taking months or years, ADR can settle disputes in as little as a day. According to Jeffrey M.
Senger, Deputy Senior Counsel for Alternative Dispute Resolution in the US Department of Justice, at the US
Postal Services “the average mediation takes just four hours, and 81 percent of mediated cases are closed
without a formal complaint being filed.”
Saving Money
The legal costs saved by adopting ADR are substantial. The Air Force estimated that before adopting
ADR, it spent $1,795 to process each informal discrimination complaint and $16,372 to process formal
complaints (Blanchard and McDade). The US Postal Service estimated that a “simple” complaint cost at least
$5,000 to process, while a “complicated” complaint that goes “all the way through the end of the process”
costs $77,000 (Senger). Anastasia Kelly, General Counsel of Sears, estimated that “each litigated case with an
employee costs between $50,000 and $75,000” in legal fees. Indeed, before its adoption of an ADR system in
2002, Sears—a company “[w]ith more than 300,000 employees and high turnover rate” spent “more legal
dollars on battling its own people than anything else” (Longstreth 18). GE estimates that its Early Dispute
Resolution program saves $15 million a year and that the savings continue to increase each year (Paquin,
Victor, and Villarreal 24).
Formal ADR systems often employ third-party mediators or arbitrators. Hourly fees run about
$150–$250 an hour (Meade and Zimmerman 61). A 2000 Northeastern University survey found median costs
of $2,750 for mediation and $11,800 for arbitration (G. Phillips 65).
Because disputes are settled outside the legal system, it is easier to find creative, non-monetary solutions.
Even when the solution does involve money, it is likely to cover only actual damages, not punitive ones.
Other sources for savings may also exist: “As an incentive [to adopt ADR], at least one major national
insurance company offers a refund in deductibles of up to $25,000 for companies that adopt employment
programs” (Meade and Zimmerman 61).
Building Goodwill
The 2007 Cornell Survey found that resolutions reached thorough ADR maintain more goodwill than
would be possible with litigation:
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 5
Use talking heads. Note how much more inf ormative this is than “Advantages.”
Second-level heads are flush with the left m argin
and bolded. Triple-space before new head;
double-space after.
This quote comes from the web and has no page number.
Begin most paragraphs with topic sentenc es.
Quote when you can’t think of any better
words than those in the source.
Not every idea needs a source. Use your
knowledge of people and of business.
Quote when the source is especially credible.
Quote when the words of the source are memorable.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 403
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 403loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 403 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
81% of the respondents say their corporations used mediation because it provides “a more satisfac-
tory process” than litigation; 66% say it provides more “satisfactory settlements”; and 59% say it
preserves good relationships. (qtd. in G. Phillips 65)
Employees of the US Postal Service who participated in ADR programs were overwhelmingly satisfied
with “the amount of control, respect, and fairness of the process.” Indeed, the satisfaction rate was twice as
high as satisfaction with traditional adversarial systems (see Figure 2). Employees and managers reported
equal levels of satisfaction (Senger).
Simply having a forum to air disagreements helps. After a study in 1997, the Equal Employment Oppor-
tunity Commission (EEOC) concluded that
a sizable number of disputes [ . . . ] may not involve discrimination at all. They reflect, rather, basic
communications problems in the workplace. Such issues may be brought into the EEO process as a
result of a perception that there is no other forum available to air general workplace concerns. (qtd.
in Blanchard and McDade)
Even when the ADR process finds that the employee’s concern was justified, mediation makes it possible
to resolve issues positively. Roger Blanchard and Joe McDade report the example of a case of alleged racism in
the US Air Force:
[D]uring the mediation, it became clear that management regarded the Asian female GS-12 as a
skilled and talented worker. Accordingly, as part of the mediated settlement, the Air Force agreed
to temporarily detail her into a GS-13 position for which she was qualified. Her subsequent
superior performance resulted in her being competitively selected for the GS-13 position when it
became vacant. Had this case not resulted in a settlement, the Air Force could have paid compen-
satory damages and attorneys [sic] fees; office morale and productivity would have suffered
greatly; and most importantly, the Air Force would likely have lost the services of a talented
employee.
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 6
Figure 2
Satisfaction Doubles with ADR
Quote to give the exact wording of survey q uestions
so reader can interpret data accurately.
100
80
60
40
20
0
Percent Satisfied
(US Postal Service)
Source of data: Senger
Traditional ADR
Use a second font for figures.
No extra space above or below quote.
Make sure bars are of equal width.
Indent long quotes 1".
Web source, so no page number.
The source of the quote and where you foun d it.
Use ellipses in square brackets when you omit words.
Quote when the source is especially credibl e for the point you want to make.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
404 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 404loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 404 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Model ADR Programs
Many models of ADR programs exist. Some have three to five stages, from informal consultation to formal
mediation and arbitration; others have only one “stage” that is empowered to do whatever is necessary to
resolve the dispute, including hiring mediators or arbitrators. Some organizations use different kinds of
structures for different kinds of complaints. For example, some federal agencies use a fact-finding team of a
man and a woman to investigate allegations of sexual harassment (Bedikian 33). The best programs focus not
simply on avoiding litigation but on resolving conflicts by identifying and resolving the underlying problem
that led to the dispute (Bedikian 33; Paquin, Victor, and Villarreal 24). As a result, good programs reduce the
number of future disputes.
One of the most detailed programs reported in the literature is the one developed by Science Applications
International Corporation (SAIC), a high-tech company that employs 40,000 workers. SAIC’s four-stage ADR
program allows employees to “take their grievances to a committee of both workers and management that
investigates and delivers a binding decision” (Bresler 3). According to the company, more than 90% of disputes
are resolved in initial meetings between workers and managers, long before formal mediation or arbitration is
necessary.
According to Samuel Bresler, SAIC’s corporate vice president and western regional director of human
resources, SAIC’s program uses the following four steps:
Step 1: The employee presents an oral or written complaint to management through a hotline or the Ethics Committee. The complaint travels upward through the management structure; if a mutually
agreeable resolution is unobtainable (10% of SAIC claims), the process moves to Step 2.
Step 2: The employee documents the claim in detail, and management drafts a response. Both documents are sent to a five-person committee that reviews the documentation and interviews witnesses, if
any. The committee consists of
• An employee representative, • A non-management representative from a large employee focus group, • The Senior Vice President of Human Resources, who also chairs the committee, • A senior-level executive from the area where the dispute occurred, and • A mid-level manager from division operations or a group manager from an area outside the dispute.
The committee recommends a solution. If the employee rejects the solution, the claim may move
to Step 3 or 4.
Step 3: A third-party mediator steps in to negotiate a settlement between the parties in dispute. The employee must pay a $50 filing fee, and both sides may consult attorneys. Because the mediator
can only recommend a solution, the employee may reject it and move to Step 4.
Step 4: An arbitrator reviews the claim and makes a final, binding decision. The employee must pay a $150 filing fee. (4)
SAIC’s ADR program is cost-effective, empowers the employee at each step of the process, and has demon-
strated a high success rate.
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 7
Vertical lists provide visual variety.
10 pt.
11 pt.
12 pt.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 405
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 405loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 405 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Resources Required to Create an ADR Program
Fewer resources are required for ADR than for traditional litigation. Meeting space, training in ADR,
financial support, and management and labor participation are the essentials.
Meeting space is available on site at Shepherd Greene. The employee union at Shepherd Greene, the
National Fraternal Order of Aviation Workers, Local 111, has also offered meeting space at its union hall in
nearby Gahanna, Ohio. Union president Chuck Scanlon noted that this space would be available free to discuss
any ADR issue related to Shepherd Greene workers.
ADR works best when all supervisors and managers are trained in conflict resolution. One-shot training
sessions may not be enough; long-term training and the opportunity to debrief after resolutions will improve
resolution skills. While this training has a cost, both in hiring a consultant and releasing people from work
duties to attend, it will more than pay for itself. Indeed, GE’s estimated $15 million savings came not from
implementing an ADR program but from refining an existing program to try to resolve potential issues before
they resulted in conflicts (Paquin, Victor, and Villarreal 24).
Financial support is needed to pay for the cost of the training, the time of the person or people who run the
ADR system, the time released for workers and managers to sit on peer review committees, and the fees for
hiring outside mediators and arbitrators. While some up-front work will be needed to set up and publicize a
system, once it is in place, running it should be no more time-consuming than running the current grievance
system. Requiring the employee to pay a filing fee for a mediator or arbitrator reduces the company’s costs.
Most of these costs will be heaviest during planning and the first year of the program. Most organizations find
that successful ADR systems not only resolve disputes without litigation but also make it possible to improve
work conditions so that fewer disputes arise in the future.
Support from both management and labor is essential. In general, Shepherd Greene has good
managment-labor relations, with joint teams already functioning in many areas. ADR would fit well with the
“team” culture of the organization. Union president Chuck Scanlon believes that the company union will be
receptive to an ADR program, provided that union representation on any review panels equals that of the
Shepherd Greene management.
Conclusions and Recommendations
Our research suggests that an ADR program at Shepherd Greene would resolve employee disputes more
economically and quickly while building goodwill. The resources needed to start an ADR program at Shepherd
Greene are well within budget guidelines, and the union is receptive. Finally, a model from a high-tech environ-
ment exists on which to base the Shepherd Greene ADR program.
1. Do Further Research to Determine Which ADR Plan to Use.
We were able to get detailed information only about SAIC’s plan. While the plan seems workable and
SAIC, like Shepherd Greene, is a high-tech company, Shepherd Greene should learn about additional plans
before proposing one. The two best sources seem to be the faculty in the Dispute Resolution Program at The
Ohio State University Moritz College of Law, since it is right in town, and the US Air Force, since Shepherd
Greene hopes to do business with it.
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 8
Name items in the order in which you’ll discuss them.
Vary sentence length and sentence struct ure.
Conclusions repeat points made in the repo rt.
Recommendations are actions the readers should take.
Some companies ask for Conclusions and
Recommendations at the beginning of repo rts.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
406 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 406loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 406 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
2. Involve the Union in Deciding Which ADR Plan to Use.
The union, its president believes, is receptive to ADR. To make implementation as smooth as possible,
union representatives should be involved in researching additional ADR plans and recommending one. The
more “buy-in” union members feel in the details of a specific ADR plan, the more quickly it will be approved
and the more smoothly implementation will go.
3. Support ADR Financially.
An ADR program will require start-up funds for
• Release time for personnel as they research additional ADR plans. • ADR training. • Publicizing the program.
Once the program is up and running, continuing funds will be needed for
• Release time for the person who administers the ADR plan. • Release time for personnel as they meet to resolve disputes. • Ongoing ADR training. • Funds to hire mediators and arbitrators.
While these items are not free, their cost is likely to be much less than the amount Shepherd Greene is
currently spending to deal with employee grievances.
Asking employees who seek mediators and arbitrators to pay part of the cost of hiring these people, as
SAIC does, is reasonable and would reduce the cost to the company.
4. Pilot the Program for a Year.
The initial agreement should specify that the ADR Plan Shepherd Greene adopts will be tested for one
year. At the end of that period, both Shepherd Greene management and union officials should review the
success of the program and decide whether to continue. Should the two parties be unable to agree, the program
should automatically be discontinued—and an agreement to that effect should be in place before the pilot
begins. While several organizations now have experience with ADR, many different specifics are possible. It
will be easier to get a program started if people know that it can be modified (or even disbanded) later as
Shepherd Greene gains experience with ADR.
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 9
Because many readers turn to the “Recom mendations” first, provide
a brief rationale for each. The ideas in this s ection must be logical
extensions of the points made and support ed in the body of the report.
Numbering the issues makes it easy for readers to discuss them.
Use standard, not gimmicky, bullets.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 407
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 407loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 407 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Works Cited
Alternative Dispute Resolution: A Resource Guide. US Office of Personnel Management, 2010. Web. 23 Oct. 2012.
Barrett, Jerome T. “Labor-Management Dispute Resolution Is Not as Neanderthal as You’ve Heard.”
Journal of Alternative Dispute Resolution 2.2 (2000): 40-51. Print.
Bedikian, Mary A. “Employment ADR: Current Issues and Methods of Implementation.” The Metropolitan Corporate Counsel. Dec. 2010: 33, Web. 4 Oct. 2012.
Blanchard, Roger, and Joe McDade. Testimony before the US HR Committee on Government Reform
Subcommittee on Civil Service, 20 Mar. 2009. Web. 3 Oct. 2012.
Bresler, Samuel. “ADR: One Company’s Answer to Settling Employee Disputes.” HRFocus Sept. 2009: 3-5. Print.
Carrell, Michael R., and Christina Heavrin. Labor Relations and Collective Bargaining: Cases, Practice, and Law. 9th ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2009. Print.
Cross, Frank B., and Roger LeRoy Miller. The Legal Environment of Business: Text, Cases, Ethical, Regulatory, International, and E-Commerce Issues. 7th ed. Cincinnati, OH: West/South-Western: 2009. Print.
Kelly, Eileen P. “Resolving Nonunion Employment Disputes through Arbitration.” Phi Kappa Phi Journal Fall 2001: 4-5.
Longstreth, Andrew. “The Softer Side of Sears.” Corporate Counsel Magazine 9 (2009): 18. Academic Search Premier Database Item 6177553. Web. 15 Oct. 2012.
Meade, Robert E., and Philip Zimmerman. “Resolving Workplace Disputes through Mediation.” CPA Journal 70 (2009): 60. Print.
Paquin, Jeffrey, Jennifer Victor, and Elpidio P. D. Villarreal. “GE Proves the Value of Innovative Dispute
Resolution.” Corporate Legal Times Sept. 2001: 24. Web. 30 Oct. 2012.
Phillips, F. Peter. “Current Trends in Employment ADR: CPR Institute for Dispute Resolution.” The Metropolitan Corporate Counsel (Aug. 2008). Web. 8 Oct. 2012.
Phillips, Gerald F. “What Your Client Needs to Know about ADR.” Dispute Resolutions Journal Feb. 2010: 64-68. Print.
Senger, Jeffrey M. Testimony before the US HR Committee on the Judiciary, Subcommittee on Commercial
and Administrative Law, 29 Feb. 2009. Web. 25 Oct. 2012.
Stone, Katherine V. W. “Employment Arbitration under the Federal Arbitration Act.” Employment Dispute Resolution and Worker Rights in the Changing Workplace. Eds. Adrienne E. Eaton and Jeffrey H. Keefe. Ithaca, NY: Cornell UP, 2009. 27-66. Print.
Why Shepherd Greene Should Adopt ADR Page 10List all the printed and online sources cited in your report. Do not list sources
you used for background but did not cite.MLA Style
Italicize title of web page.
Put URL in angle brackets.
Use issue number if each issue is paginated separately.
Date you visited source.
Comma after first author’s name. Give month when each issue is paginated separately.
In 2009, MLA Style ceased requiring URLs. However, indicate the basic type of publication.
Give state when city is not well known.
Last name first only for the first author. Use regular order for other authors’ names.
No periods in some MLA abbreviations.
Abbreviate “University Press”.
Page numbers of essay in edited book.
Figure 24.2 A Long Report (continued)
Confirming pages
408 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 408loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 408 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 409
Title Page
The Title Page of a report contains four items: the title of the report, whom the report is
prepared for, whom it is prepared by, and the release date. Sometimes title pages also
contain a brief summary of the contents of the report; some title pages contain decorative
artwork.
The title of the report should be as informative as possible.
Poor title: New Office Site Better title: Why Dallas Is the Best Site for the New Info.com Office
Large organizations that issue many reports may use two-part titles to make it easier to
search for reports electronically. For example, U.S. government report titles first give the
agency sponsoring the report, then the title of that particular report.
Small Business Administration: Management Practices Have Improved for the Women’s
Business Center Program
Small Business Administration: Steps Taken to Better Manage Its Human Capital, but More
Needs to Be Done
Small Business: SBA Could Better Focus Its 8(a) Program to Help Firms Obtain Contracts
In many cases, the title will state the recommendation in the report: “Why the United
Nations Should Establish a Seed Bank.” However, the title should omit recommendations
when
• The reader will find the recommendations hard to accept.
• Putting all the recommendations in the title would make it too long.
• The report does not offer recommendations.
If the title does not contain the recommendation, it normally indicates what problem the
report tries to solve.
Letter or Memo of Transmittal
Use a memo of transmittal if you are a regular employee of the organization for which
you prepare the report; use a letter if you are not. The transmittal has several purposes:
to transmit the report, to orient the reader to the report, and to build a good image of the
report and of the writer.
Organize the transmittal in this way:
1. Tell when and by whom the report was authorized and the purpose it was to fulfill. 2. Summarize your conclusions and recommendations. 3. Indicate minor problems you encountered in your investigation and show how you
surmounted them. Thank people who helped you. 4. Point out additional research that is necessary, if any. 5. Thank the reader for the opportunity to do the work and offer to answer questions.
Even if the report has not been fun to do, expressing satisfaction in doing the project is
expected.
Table of Contents
In the Table of Contents, list the headings exactly as they appear in the body of the report.
If the report is shorter than 25 pages, list all the headings. In a very long report, list the two
or three highest levels of headings.
Site to See
Go to
www.nasa.gov/ pdf/536766main_ Education- Recommendation-Report_ Final.pdf
for a copy of the NASA
Education Recommendation
Report.
Site to See
Go to
www.grida.no/wrr/
Tables of Contents for web
reports can have search boxes
and clickable links for chapter
titles and headings, as does
this United Nations report on
the state of the world’s poor.
Go to
Go to
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 409loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 409 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Choosing a Long Report Format and Style LO 24-3
Building a Critical Skill
The problem-solving report format described in this module—
or some version of that format—is common in business, but
many other types of long reports exist in the workplace. Their
formats and style can vary greatly according to purpose, as well
as the organization and discourse community.
For instance, corporate annual reports typically are printed
on glossy stock, filled with color photos, charts, and graphs, and
focused on information important to investors, such as financial
statistics. They may have dozens of pages and often are “perfect
bound,” like a slick magazine or book. Many nonprofit organi-
zations produce annual reports that share these characteristics,
but others may choose fewer colors and pages, as well as saddle
stitch or other kinds of binding.
Reports on large-scale engineering projects, like highway
repair efforts or technology research and development, are fre-
quently heavy on words, including jargon, but relatively light
on visuals, which may be only the most technical of diagrams.
They may have hundreds of pages and be bound in three-ring
binders. Likewise, a government report on tax law revisions or
a farm subsidy program might be dense with text. Plain covers
and paper stock closer to copy bond are typical.
Text in reports may be arranged in single or multiple col-
umns and feature a drop cap—an enlarged letter at the begin-
ning of an opening paragraph—and pull quotes—portions of
body text repeated and set apart graphically from the rest. In
general, reports have a formal writing style, but depending on
the audience and purpose, some reports may use breezier prose.
With so many possibilities, how do writers settle on the
appropriate format and style? Here are tips:
• Start with PAIBOC [◀◀ p. 12]. • Review past reports that share a similar audience and pur-
pose. If these reports worked, use them as models. Your orga-
nization probably has reports on file; if not, start one. Many
organizations also now publish reports online, and some
public and college libraries keep copies of government and
annual reports. Use research techniques [◀◀ Module 22] to locate them.
• Consult texts on report writing, experts in your organization,
or professional writers and graphic designers.
• Test your draft, where possible, with audiences similar to
ones that will read your report.
The more specialized the report, the more likely experienced
staff will write it. Egalitarian organizations and those striving
to do more with less, however, may expect even novice writers
to participate. As with any writing project, plan your task care-
fully—and treat it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Confirming pages
410
List of Illustrations
Report visuals comprise both tables and figures. Tables are words or numbers arranged in rows and columns. Figures are everything else: bar graphs, pie charts, maps, drawings, photographs, computer printouts, and so forth. Tables and figures are numbered indepen-
dently, so you may have both a “Table 1” and a “Figure 1.” In a report with maps and
graphs but no other visuals, the visuals are sometimes called “Map 1” and “Graph 1.”
Whatever you call the illustrations, list them in the order in which they appear in the report;
give the name of each visual as well as its number.
See Module 25 for information about how to design and label visuals.
Executive Summary
An Executive Summary tells the reader what the document is about. It summarizes the recommendation of the report and the reasons for the recommendation.
To write an executive summary, you must know the report’s recommendations and
support.
1. In the first paragraph, identify the report’s recommendations or main point (thesis).
Often the problem can be stated quite briefly: “To market life insurance to mid-40s
urban professionals, Interstate Fidelity Insurance should. . . .” Provide background on
the problem only if needed to explain the goal of the recommendations.
Site to See
Go to
www.nationwide.com/ financial-reporting.jsp?NW OSS=annual+report&NWO SSPos=2
for downloadable copies of
Nationwide Mutual Insurance
Company & Affiliated
Company’s financial reports.
Go to
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 410loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 410 1/4/13 4:28 PM1/4/13 4:28 PM
Two hospitals in Columbus, Ohio,
had helicopter services that
were each losing money. They
commissioned a feasibility study to
see whether the two services could
merge. The report found that a
merger was feasible. The resulting
service, MedFlight, is profitable.
Here, a MedFlight helicopter
team transports the survivor of an
automobile accident.
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 411
2. In the body, identify the major supporting points for your argument. Include all the
information decision makers will need. Make the summary clear as a stand-alone document.
3. If you have conducted surveys or interviews, briefly describe your methods.
Introduction
The Introduction of the report contains a statement of purpose and scope and may include all the parts in the following list.
• Purpose. Identify the organizational problem the report addresses, the technical investigations it summarizes, and the rhetorical purpose (to explain, to recommend).
• Scope. Identify the topics the report covers. For example, Company XYZ is losing money on its line of radios. Does the report investigate the quality of the radios? The
advertising campaign? The cost of manufacturing? The demand for radios? If the report
was authorized to examine only advertising, then one cannot fault the report for not
considering other factors.
• Limitations. Limitations make the recommendations less valid or valid only under certain conditions. Limitations usually arise because time or money constraints haven’t
permitted full research. For example, a campus pizza restaurant considering expanding
its menu may not have enough money to take a random sample of students and
townspeople. Without a random sample, the writer cannot generalize from the sample
to the larger population. Many recommendations are valid only for a limited time. For
example, a store wants to know what kinds of clothing will appeal to college men. The
recommendations will remain in force only for a short time: Three years from now,
styles and tastes may have changed.
• Assumptions. Assumptions are statements whose truth you assume and which you use to support your conclusions and recommendations. If they are wrong, the conclusion
will be wrong too. For example, recommendations about what cars appeal to drivers
ages 18 to 34 would be based on assumptions both about gas prices and about the
economy. If gas prices radically rose or fell, the kinds of cars young adults wanted
would change. If a major recession occurred, people wouldn’t be able to buy new cars.
• Methods. Tell how you chose the people for a survey, focus groups, or interviews and how, when, and where they were interviewed. Omit Methods if your report is based
solely on library and online research. Instead, simply cite your sources in the text and
document them in References or Works Cited. See Module 22 for details.
Background or History
Even though the current audience for the report probably knows the situation, reports are
filed and consulted years later. These later audiences will need the background to under-
stand the options that are possible.
Instant Replay
Report Titles
Normally, the title of the
report should give the
recommendation. Omit the
recommendations when
• The reader will find the
recommendations hard to
accept.
• Putting all the
recommendations in the title
would make it too long.
• The report does not offer
recommendations.
If the title does not contain the
recommendation, it normally
indicates what problem the
report tries to solve.
Site to See
Go to
http://feltron.com/
to see designer Nicholas
Feltron’s annual reports—on
himself.
I R
Report Title
Go to
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 411loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 411 1/4/13 4:29 PM1/4/13 4:29 PM
Confirming pages
412 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
In some cases, the History may cover many years. For example, a report recommending
that a U.S. hotel chain open hotels in Vietnam will probably give the history of that coun-
try for at least the last hundred years. In other cases, the Background or History is much
briefer, covering only a few years or even just the immediate situation.
Conclusions and Recommendations
Conclusions summarize points made in the body of the report; Recommendations are action items that would solve or partially solve the problem. Number the recommendations
to make them easy to discuss. If the recommendations will seem difficult or controversial,
give a brief rationale after each recommendation. If they’ll be easy for the audience to
accept, simply list them without comments or reasons. The recommendations will also be
in the Executive Summary and perhaps in the title and the transmittal.
Site to See
Go to
http://report.nih.gov/
for sample reports and
reporting tools provided by the
National Institutes for Health.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• To use your time efficiently, think about the parts of the report
before you begin writing. (LO 24-1) • Much of the introduction will come from your proposal, with
only minor revisions: Purpose, Scope, Assumptions, and Meth-
ods. (LO 24-1) • The bibliography from your proposal can form the first draft of
your References or Works Cited. (LO 24-1) • You can write the Title Page and the Letter of Transmittal as soon
as you know what your recommendation will be. After you’ve
analyzed your data, write the Executive Summary, the Report
body, and the Conclusions and Recommendations. (LO 24-1) • The Title Page contains the title of the report, whom the report
is prepared for, whom it is prepared by, and the release date.
(LO 24-2) • The title of a report should contain the recommendation unless
(LO 24-2) • The reader will find the recommendations hard to accept.
• Putting all the recommendations in the title would make it
too long.
• The report does not offer recommendations.
• If the report is shorter than 25 pages, list all the headings in the
Table of Contents. In a long report, pick a level and put all the
headings at that level and above in the Contents. (LO 24-2) • Organize the transmittal in this way: (LO 24-2) 1. Release the report.
2. Summarize your conclusions and recommendations.
3. Mention any points of special interest. Indicate minor prob-
lems you encountered in your investigation and show how
you surmounted them. Thank people who helped you.
4. Point out additional research that is necessary, if any.
5. Thank the reader for the opportunity to do the work and
offer to answer questions.
• The Introduction of the report contains a statement of Purpose and Scope. The Purpose statement identifies the organizational problem the report addresses, the technical investigations it
summarizes, and the rhetorical purpose (to explain, to recom-
mend). The Scope statement identifies the topics the report covers. The Introduction may also include Limitations, prob- lems or factors that limit the validity of the recommendations;
Assumptions, statements whose truth you assume, and which you use to prove your final point; and Methods, an explanation of how you gathered your data. (LO 24-2)
• A Background or History section is included because reports are filed and may be consulted years later. (LO 24-2)
• Conclusions summarize points made in the body of the report; Recommendations are action items that would solve or par- tially solve the problem. (LO 24-2)
• Many different styles and formats for long reports exist. (LO 24-3) • To choose a good format, consider the report’s purpose, the
organization, and the discourse community. Analyze the situa-
tion with PAIBOC, review past reports that share a similar audi-
ence and purpose, and consult texts on report writing, experts
in your organization, or professional writers and designers. Test
your draft where possible with audiences similar to the one for
your report. (LO 24-3)
Assignments for Module 24
24.1 What parts of the report come from the proposal, with some revision? (LO 24-1)
24.2 How do you decide whether to write a letter or memo of transmittal? (LO 24-1)
24.3 How should you organize a transmittal? (LO 24-2)
24.4 What goes in the Executive Summary? (LO 24-2)
Questions for Comprehension
Go to
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 412loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 412 1/4/13 4:29 PM1/4/13 4:29 PM
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 413
24.5 How do you decide what headings to use in the body of the report? (LO 24-1, LO 24-3)
24.6 How do you decide how much background to provide in a report? (LO 24-2)
24.7 How much evidence do you need to provide for each rec- ommendation? (LO 24-2)
Questions for Critical Thinking
As Your Instructor Directs, Turn in the following documents for Problems 24.8 through
24.10:
a. The approved proposal
b. Two copies of the report, including
Cover
Title Page
Letter or Memo of Transmittal
Table of Contents
List of Illustrations
Executive Summary
Body (Introduction, all information, recommendations).
Your instructor may specify a minimum length, a mini-
mum number or kind of sources, and a minimum num-
ber of visuals.
References or Works Cited
Appendixes, if useful or relevant
c. Your notes and rough drafts.
Exercises and Problems
24.8 Writing a Feasibility Study (LO 24-1 to LO 24-3)
Write an individual or group report evaluating the fea-
sibility of two or more alternatives. Explain your criteria
clearly, evaluate each alternative, and recommend the best
course of action.
1. Is it feasible for your school to build additional parking
spaces for students? Where should this parking be? How
will it be funded?
2. Is it feasible for a local restaurant to offer delivery ser-
vice to your campus? Will there be an extra charge?
3. Is it feasible for your school to offer free space for stu-
dent web pages? Will content be monitored? By whom?
4. Is it feasible for the local transit service to offer free
rides to students?
5. With your instructor’s permission, choose your own
topic.
24.9 Writing a Library Research Report (LO 24-1 to LO 24-3)
Write an individual or group library research report.
1. Choosing a Hospital. As part of your job in human resources, you write articles for your company’s quar-
terly newsletter to help employees get the most out of
their benefits. Your boss has asked you to research the
topic of choosing a good hospital. He shows you an arti-
cle that says health care is most effective at hospitals that
are fully staffed with nurses, but he isn’t sure how your
company’s employees can get data about staffing levels
at local hospitals. “See if you can set up some kind of
information source,” he says. Write a report that recom-
mends how employees can gather information about
hospitals. If you think the company will need to set up a
source of this information, also recommend to your boss
a way of doing this. Start with Laura Johannes, “Serious
Health Risks Posed by Lack of Nurses,” The Wall Street Journal, May 30, 2002, D1, D3.
2. Advertising on the Internet. You work on a team developing a marketing plan to sell high-end sunglasses.
Your boss is reluctant to spend money for online adver-
tising because she has heard that the money is mostly
wasted. Also, she associates the ads with spam, which
she detests. Recommend whether the company should
devote some of its advertising budget to online ads.
Include samples of online advertising that support your
recommendation. To start, read Heather Green, “Online
Ads Take Off—Again,” BusinessWeek, May 5, 2003, 75. 3. Improving Job Interview Questions. Turnover
among the sales force has been high, and your boss
believes the problem is that your company has been
hiring the wrong people. You are part of a team investi-
gating the problem, and your assignment is to evaluate
the questions used in job interviews. Human resource
personnel use tried-and-true questions like “What
is your greatest strength?” and “What is your great-
est weakness?” The sales manager has some creative
alternatives, such as asking candidates to solve logic
puzzles and seeing how they perform under stress by
taking frequent phone calls during the interview. You
are to evaluate the current interviewing approaches
and propose changes where they would improve hir-
ing decisions. Start by reading William Poundstone,
“Beware the Interview Inquisition,” Harvard Business Review, May 2003, 18–19.
4. Making College Affordable. The senator you work for is concerned about fast-rising costs of a college educa-
tion. Students say they cannot afford their tuition bills.
Colleges say they are making all the cuts they can with-
out compromising the quality of education. In order to
propose a bill that would help make college affordable
for those who are qualified to attend, the senator has
asked you to research alternatives for easing the prob-
lem. Recommend one or two measures the senator could
include in a bill for the Senate to vote on. Start with
William C. Symonds, “Colleges in Crisis,” Business- Week, April 28, 2003, 72–79; and Aaron Bernstein, “A British Solution to America’s College Tuition Prob-
lem?” BusinessWeek, February 9, 2004, 72–73. 5. With your instructor’s permission, choose your own
topic.
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 413loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 413 1/4/13 4:29 PM1/4/13 4:29 PM
The best reason to consider a Schroen Heat Pump is its low cost. Schroen Heat Pumps
cost 25% less than the cheapest competitor’s. Moreover, unlike the competition, the
Schroen Heat Pump will pay for itself in less than a year in energy savings. That’s just 12
months. All of this value comes with a 10-year unlimited warranty—if anything goes wrong,
we’ll repair or replace the pump at no cost to you. That means no expensive repair bills
and no dollars out of your pocket.
Confirming pages
414 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
24.10 Writing a Recommendation Report (LO 24-1 to LO 24-3)
Write an individual or group recommendation report.
1. Recommending Courses. What skills are in demand in your community? What courses at what levels should
the local college offer?
2. Improving Sales and Profits. Recommend ways a small business can increase sales and profits. Focus
on one or more of the following: the products or ser-
vices it offers, its advertising, its decor, its location, its
accounting methods, its cash management, or any other
aspect that may be keeping the company from achiev-
ing its potential. Address your report to the owner of the
business.
3. Improving Customer Service. Evaluate the service in a local store, restaurant, or other organization. Are cus-
tomers made to feel comfortable? Is workers’ commu-
nication helpful, friendly, and respectful? Are workers
knowledgeable about products and services? Do they
sell them effectively? Write a report analyzing the qual-
ity of service and recommending ways to improve.
4. Evaluating a Potential Employer. What training is available to new employees? How soon is the average
entry-level person promoted? How much travel and
weekend work are expected? Is there a “busy season,”
or is the workload consistent year-round? What is the
corporate culture? Is the climate nonracist and nonsex-
ist? How strong is the company economically? How is it
likely to be affected by current economic, demographic,
and political trends? Address your report to a college
placement office; recommend whether it should encour-
age students to work at this company.
5. With your instructor’s permission, choose your own
topic.
Polishing Your Prose
Good paragraphs demonstrate unity, detail, and variety.
Improving Paragraphs
The following paragraph from a sales letter illustrates these
three qualities:
A paragraph is unified when all its sentences focus on a single idea. As long as a paragraph is about just one idea, a topic sentence
expressing that idea is not required. However, a topic sentence
makes it easier for the reader to skim the document. (Essays use a
thesis statement for the central idea of the entire document.) Sen- tences throughout the paragraph should support the topic sentence
or offer relevant examples.
Transitions connect. Common transitions are and, also, first, second, third, in addition, likewise, similarly, for example (e.g.), for instance, indeed, to illustrate, namely, specifically, in contrast, then, and on the other hand.
Detail makes your points clearer and more vivid. Use con- crete words, especially strong nouns and verbs and adjectives and
adverbs, that say what you mean. Avoid redundancies.
Variety is expressed first in sentence length and patterns and second in the number of sentences in each paragraph. Most sen-
tences in business writing should be 16 to 20 words, but an occa-
sional longer or very short sentence gives punch to your writing.
The basic pattern for sentences is subject/verb/object (SVO):
Our building supervisor sent the forms. Vary the SVO pattern by changing the order, using transitions and clauses, and combining
sentences.
Also vary paragraph length. First and last paragraphs can be
quite short. Body paragraphs will be longer. Whenever a paragraph
runs eight typed lines or more, think about dividing it into two
paragraphs.
Exercises
Rewrite the following paragraphs to improve unity, detail, and
variety.
1. Barbara Gillespie-Kim joins our Web Development Depart-
ment after more than 10 years working with Lerner and
Thorpe Associates in San Jose, California. There, she led
several project teams, including those specializing in web
development, market research, and customer relations. Please
welcome her aboard. She received her B.A. in English from
San Jose State University and her M.A. in Interdisciplinary
Studies from California State University, Los Angeles. She
started as a technical writer at Lerner and Thorpe, which is a
technology consulting firm specializing in helping companies
use the Internet. She graduated summa cum laude from San
Jose State and with a perfect GPA from San Jose State Univer-
sity. While at Lerner and Thorpe Associates, Barbara worked
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 414loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 414 1/4/13 4:29 PM1/4/13 4:29 PM
Confirming pages
Module 24 Long Reports 415
closely with clients throughout the west coast, as far away as
Seoul, South Korea; Jakarta, Indonesia; and Osaka, Japan.
She speaks Korean fluently and, in her words, “just enough
Japanese and Indonesian to embarrass myself!” She specialized
in technical writing in her bachelor’s program at California
State and in a combination of multimedia design, web page
development, and graphic design at San Jose State.
2. The Heat Ray features three settings to let you control how
much heat you want and where. The price is only $39.99. The
Heat Ray is an exciting new product from JKL Products. The
Heat Ray is made from anodized aluminum and high-grade
plastic. The Heat Ray has a two-year warranty on all parts. It
is made in the USA. The Heat Ray features a rotating element
that has two speeds. It is UL listed and automatically shuts off
if tipped over. The Heat Ray is available in stores throughout
the United States. The Heat Ray features a collapsible stand
that can be extended to three feet. Its secret is the parabolic
dish that amplifies the heating coils. For more information on
the Heat Ray, go to www.heatray2012.com . The Heat Ray has
a remote control and an LED control panel that can be pro-
grammed. The Heat Ray uses the latest in infrared technol-
ogy to deliver a continuous stream of warmth on those chilly
nights. The parabolic dish is covered with a wire mesh that
keeps pets and people from contact with the heating element.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 415loc03261_ch24_392-415.indd 415 1/4/13 4:29 PM1/4/13 4:29 PM
Confirming pages
416
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Using Visuals
W e live in an increasingly visual age. While organizations continue to adapt to the changing tech-
nologies that help us to use and present images, the mainstays of visuals in business docu-
ments remain charts, graphs, and clip art.
Charts and graphs help make numbers meaningful and thus help communicate your points in oral
presentations, memos, letters, reports, and meetings. This module shows you how to turn data into
charts and graphs. See Module 5 for a discussion of designing slides for oral presentations and
Module 20 for a discussion of other aspects of good oral presentations.
Care must be taken when using clip art and other images. In particular, be aware that the same
image may have different connotations for people. Review the principles in Modules 2 and 3 on audi-
ence and culture, respectively.
LO 25-1 Identify stories for business visuals.
LO 25-2 Select visuals for stories.
LO 25-3 Apply principles for good design.
LO 25-4 Apply principles for effective color and clip art use.
LO 25-5 Apply principles for accurate and ethical visuals.
LO 25-6 Synthesize visuals with text.
LO 25-7 Prepare print visuals for use in presentations.
Module 25 focuses on how to use visuals effectively and ethically. After completing the module, you
should be able to
25
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 416loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 416 10/01/13 6:10 PM10/01/13 6:10 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 417
In your rough draft, use visuals
• To see that ideas are presented completely. A table, for example, can show you whether you’ve included all the items in a comparison.
• To find relationships. For example, charting sales on a map may show that all the sales representatives who made quota have territories on the East or the West Coasts. Is the
central United States suffering a recession? Is the product one that appeals to coastal
lifestyles? Is advertising reaching the coasts but not the central states? Even if you don’t
use the visual in your final document, creating the map may lead you to questions you
wouldn’t otherwise ask.
In the final presentation or document, use visuals
• To make points vivid. Readers skim memos and reports; a visual catches the eye. The brain processes visuals immediately. Understanding words—written or oral—takes
more time.
• To emphasize material that might be skipped if it were buried in a paragraph. • To present material more compactly and with less repetition than words alone
would require.
• To focus on information that decision makers need.
The number of visuals you need depends on your purposes, the kind of information,
and the audience. You’ll use more visuals when you want to show relationships and to
persuade, when the information is complex or contains extensive numerical data, and when
the audience values visuals.
Your chart is only as good as the underlying data. Check to be sure that your data come
from a reliable source (◀◀ Module 22).
Use visuals only for points you want to emphasize
FARCUS® is reprinted with permission from LaughingStock
Licensing Inc., Ottawa, Canada. All Rights Reserved.
We’re using visual abilities in
innovative ways. A technology
being developed by Dr. Jean
Lorenceau of the Université
Pierre et Marie Curie in Paris
makes it possible for people
to write using eye movements,
which are then translated into
cursive letters on a computer
screen. While the technology can
have widespread applications, it
may prove especially beneficial
for individuals who have been
injured or are challenged by
degenerative diseases, such
as ALS.
Source: Bruce Geryk, “New Technology Lets People Write Just
with Their Eyes,” ABC News, July
26, 2012, http://news.yahoo.com/
technology-lets-people-write-just-
eyes-151217619—abc-news-
wellness.html .
Increasingly, businesses
are turning to more visual
ways for employees to
work out their ideas and
explain them to peers.
Visual note taking includes
doodling and sketching to
help spur creativity, using
anything from paper and
whiteboards to writable glass
and sophisticated computer
setups. Regardless of the
technology used, “the hand
is the easiest way to get
something down,” says
Facebook communication
designer Everett Katigbak.
Source: Rachel Emma Silverman, “Doodling for Dollars: Firms Try to
Get Gadget-Obsessed Workers to
Look Up—and Sketch Ideas,” The
Wall Street Journal, April 24, 2012,
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100
014240527023039781045773624
02264009714.html?KEYWORDS 5
powerpoint 1 presentation .
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 417loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 417 10/01/13 6:10 PM10/01/13 6:10 PM
Confirming pages
418 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
What are stories, and how do I find them? LO 25-1
▶ A story is something that is happening, according to the data.
▶ To find stories, look for relationships and changes.
Every visual should tell a story. Stories can be expressed in complete sentences that describe
something that happens or changes. The sentence can also serve as the title of the visual.
Not a story: U.S. Sales, 1999–2011 Possible stories: Forty Percent of Our Sales Were to New Customers.
Growth Was Greatest in the South.
Sales Increased from 1999 to 2011.
Stories that tell us what we already know are rarely interesting. Instead, good stories may
• Support a hunch you have.
• Surprise you or challenge so-called “common knowledge.”
• Show trends or changes you didn’t know existed.
• Have commercial or social significance.
• Provide information needed for action.
• Be personally relevant to you and the audience.
To find stories,
1. Focus on a topic (starting salaries, who likes rock music, and so forth). 2. Simplify the data on that topic and convert the numbers to simple, easy-to-understand units. 3. Look for relationships and changes. For example, compare two or more groups: Do
men and women have the same attitudes? Look for changes over time. Look for items
that can be seen as part of the same group. For example, to find stories about TV ads,
you might group ads in the same product category—ads for cars, for food, for beverages.
When you think you have a story, test it against all the data to be sure it’s accurate.
Some stories are simple straight lines: “Sales Increased.” But other stories are more com-
plex, with exceptions or outlying cases. Such stories will need more nuanced titles to do jus-
tice to the story. And sometimes the best story arises from the juxtaposition of two or more
stories. In Figure 25.1 , the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics used two paired graphs to tell a story. Individually, the graphs tell simple stories. Together, however, they tell an interesting
story. Automotive workers earned more than nonautomotive workers, despite the recent trends
of steady or declining compensation costs.
Gene Zelazny points out that the audience should be able to see what the message says:
Does the chart support the title; and does the title reinforce the chart? So if I say in my title that “sales have increased significantly” I want to see a trend moving up at a sharp angle. If not, if the trend parallels the baseline, it’s an instant clue that the chart needs more thinking.
1
Almost every data set allows you to tell several stories. You must choose the story you
want to tell. Dumps of uninterpreted data confuse and frustrate your audience; they under-
cut the credibility and goodwill you want to create.
Does it matter what kind of visual I use? LO 25-2
▶ Yes! The visual must match the kind of story.
Visuals are not interchangeable. Choose the visual that best matches the purpose of
presenting the data.
• Use tables when the reader needs to be able to identify exact values. (See Figure 25.2a .) • Use a chart or graph when you want the reader to focus on relationships.
2
• To compare a part to the whole, use a pie chart. (See Figure 25.2b .) • To compare one item to another item, or items over time, use a bar chart or a line
graph. (See Figures 25.2c and 25.2d .)
When former Washington
Governor Gary Locke stopped
to get his own coffee at a
Seattle airport, he had no idea
he would become a media
sensation. The photo, taken by
businessman ZhaoHui Tang,
was posted to the Chinese
social media network Sina
Weibo, where it was viewed and
reposted thousands of times.
“This is something unbelievable
in China,” Tang said.” Even for
low-ranking officials, we don’t do
things for ourselves. Someone
goes to buy the coffee for them.
Someone carries their bags for
them.” Locke, the first Chinese-
American ambassador to China,
was also wearing a backpack.
The story told by the photo
helped to fuel his enormous
celebrity in the most-populated
country in the world.
Source: “Photo of Bag-Carrying Ambassador Charms China,”
August 16, 2011, http://
news.yahoo.com/photo-bag-
carrying-ambassador-charms-
china-184349082.html ; and Keith
Richburg, “Gary Locke Is star in
China as first U.S. Ambassador of
Chinese Ancestry,” The Washington
Post, November 30, 2011, http://
www.washingtonpost.com/
lifestyle/style/gary-locke-is-star-
in-china-as-first-us-ambassador-
of-chinese-ancestry/2011/11/28/
gIQA703DEO_story.html .
Site to See
Go to
www.quintura.com
Quintura is a search engine that
returns results in more visual
form, rather than just a list of
links. The user enters a topic,
and then Quintura builds a
“cloud” of the results. Keywords
in different colors and sizes
represent the relevance of
different topics. To see details,
the user clicks on a word.
Go to
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 418loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 418 10/01/13 6:10 PM10/01/13 6:10 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 419
What design conventions should I follow? LO 25-3
▶ Check your visuals against the lists that follow.
Every visual should contain six components:
1. A title that tells the story that the visual shows.
2. A clear indication of what the data are. For example, what people say they did is not necessarily what they really did. An estimate of what a number will be in the future
differs from numbers in the past that have already been measured.
3. Clearly labeled units.
4. Labels or legends identifying axes, colors, symbols, and so forth.
Websites like Pinterest—where
users post and link to visuals—
are gaining traction, especially
with women, so much so that
many businesses are now
“pinning.” Sevenly, a maker of
custom T-shirts, and Cakestyle,
which makes wardrobe
suggestions for women, are
among companies heavily
promoting their efforts on
Pinterest. Other image-based
sites include Visually, which
helps users create infographics,
and Flickr, which allows users
to post photos and sponsors a
contest to tell a story visually—
in five frames. Flickr has 7.2
billion uploaded photos.
Sources: John Brandon, “9 Tips: Boost Your Business with
Pinterest,” Inc., December 20,
2011, http://www.inc.com/
john-brandon/9-tips-boost-your-
business-pinterest.html ; and Donna
Tam, “IPhone Stays No. 1 in Flickr
Popularity,” June 27, 2012, http://
news.cnet.com/8301-1023_3-
57462099-93/iphone-stays-no-1-
in-flickr-popularity/ .
Figure 25.2 Choose the Visual to Fit the Story
b. Pie charts compare a component to the whole.
d. Line charts compare items over time or show distribution or correlation.
Forty percent of our 2012 sales
were to new customers.
Old customers
60%
New customers
40%
a. Tables show exact values.
U.S. sales reach $44.5 million.
Millions of dollars
2010 2011 2012
Northeast 10.2 10.8 11.3
South 7.6 8.5 10.4
Midwest 8.3 6.8 9.3
West 11.3 12.1 13.5
Totals 37.4 38.2 44.5
c. Bar charts compare items or show distribution or correlation.
Northeast
South
Midwest
West
% growth, 2008–2012
0 5 10 15 20 25 30 40 45 5035
st
thth
stst
st
0 5 10 15 20 25
st
11%
38%
12%
19%
Growth was greatest in the South.
02 04 06 08 10 12
Sales increased from 2002 to 2012.
S a
le s
,
m il
li o
n s
o f
d o
ll a
rs
50
40
30
20
10
0
Figure 25.1 Paired Graphs Tell a Complex Story
Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, April 2011.
Average hourly compensation costs, automotive workers and
nonautomotive workers, private manufacturing industries, 2009
Total compensation Wages Benefits Health
$0.00
$10.00
$20.00
$30.00
$40.00 $36.98
$24.92 $22.19
$16.26 $14.79
$8.66
$4.76 $2.73
$50.00
H o
u rl
y c
o m
p e
n s
a ti
o n
c o
s ts
Automotive Nonautomotive
Auto, current dollars
Nonauto, current dollars
Auto, 1996 dollars
Nonauto, 1996 dollars
Average hourly compensation costs in current and 1996 dollars, auto workers
and other blue-collar workers, private manufacturing industries, 1996–2009
$0.00
1996 1997 1998 1999 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008 2009
$10.00
$20.00
$30.00
$40.00
$50.00
A v
e ra
g e
c o
m p
e n
s a
ti o
n c
o s
ts p
e r
w o
rk e
r
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 419loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 419 10/01/13 6:10 PM10/01/13 6:10 PM
Confirming pages
420 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
Instant Replay
Tables and Figures
Tables are numbers or words arranged in rows and columns;
figures are everything else. In a document, formal visuals have
both numbers (Figure 1) and
titles. In an oral presentation,
the title is usually used without
the number.
I R
Tables and F
5. The source of the data, if you created the visual from data someone else gathered and
compiled.
6. The source of the visual, if you reproduce a visual someone else created.
Formal visuals are divided into tables and figures. Tables are numbers or words arranged in rows and columns; figures are everything else. In a document, formal visu- als have both numbers and titles—for example, “Figure 1. The Falling Cost of Computer
Memory, 2008–2013.” In an oral presentation, the title is usually used without the number:
“The Falling Cost of Computer Memory, 2008–2013.” The title should tell the story so that
the audience knows what to look for in the visual and why it is important. Informal or spot visuals are inserted directly into the text; they do not have numbers or titles.
Tables
Use tables only when you want the audience to focus on specific numbers. Graphs convey
less specific information but are always more memorable.
• Round off to simplify the data (e.g., 35% rather than 35.27%; 34,000 rather than 33,942).
• Provide column and row totals or averages when they’re relevant.
• Put the items you want readers to compare in columns rather than in rows to facilitate
mental subtraction and division.
• When you have many rows, screen alternate entries or double-space after every five
entries to help readers line up items accurately.
Pie Charts
Pie charts force the audience to measure area. Research shows that people can judge position
or length (which a bar chart uses) much more accurately than they judge area. The data in any
pie chart can be put in a bar chart. 3 Therefore, use a pie chart only when you are comparing
one segment to the whole. When you are comparing one segment to another segment, use
a bar chart, a line graph, or a map—even though the data may be expressed in percentages.
• Start at 12 o’clock with the largest percentage or the percentage you want to focus on. Go
clockwise to each smaller percentage or to each percentage in some other logical order.
• Make the chart a perfect circle. Perspective circles distort the data.
• Limit the number of segments to five or seven. If your data have more divisions, combine
the smallest or the least important into a single “miscellaneous” or “other” category.
• Label the segments outside the circle. Internal labels are hard to read.
Bar Charts
Bar charts are easy to interpret because they ask people to compare distance along a
common scale, which most people judge accurately. Bar charts are useful in a variety of
situations: to compare one item to another, to compare items over time, and to show cor-
relations. Use horizontal bars when your labels are long; when the labels are short, either
horizontal or vertical bars will work.
• Order the bars in a logical or chronological order.
• Put the bars close enough together to make comparison easy.
• Label both horizontal and vertical axes.
• Put all labels inside the bars or outside them. When some labels are inside and some are
outside, the labels carry the visual weight of longer bars, distorting the data.
• Make all the bars the same width.
• Use different colors for different bars only when their meanings are different: estimates
as opposed to known numbers, negative as opposed to positive numbers.
• Avoid using perspective. Perspective makes the values harder to read and can make
comparison difficult.
Several varieties of bar charts exist. See Figure 25.3 for examples.
Instant Replay
The Six Components of
Every Visual
1. A title that tells the story
that the visual shows.
2. A clear indication of what
the data are.
3. Clearly labeled units.
4. Labels or legends
identifying axes, colors,
symbols, and so forth.
5. The source of the data,
if you created the visual
from data someone else
gathered and compiled.
6. The source of the visual,
if you reproduce a visual
someone else created.
I R
The Six Com
Instant Replay
How to Find Stories
1. Focus on a topic.
2. Simplify the data.
3. Look for relationships and
changes.
I R
How to Find
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 420loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 420 10/01/13 6:11 PM10/01/13 6:11 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 421
• Grouped bar charts allow you to compare either several aspects of each item or several items over time. Group together the items you want to compare. Figure 25.3a shows
sales were highest in the West. If we wanted to show how sales had changed over time in
each region, the bars should be grouped by region, not by year.
• Segmented, subdivided, or stacked bars sum the components of an item. It’s hard to identify the values in specific segments; grouped bar charts are almost always easier to use.
• Deviation bar charts identify positive and negative values, or winners and losers. • Paired bar charts show the correlation between two items. • Histograms or pictograms use images to create the bars.
Line Graphs
Line graphs are also easy to interpret. Use line graphs to compare items over time, to show
frequency or distribution, and to show correlations.
• Label both horizontal and vertical axes.
• When time is a variable, put it on the horizontal axes.
• Avoid using more than three different lines on one graph. Even three lines may be too
many if they cross each other.
• Avoid using perspective. Perspective makes the values harder to read and can make
comparison difficult.
Can I use color and clip art? LO 25-4
▶ Use color carefully.
▶ Avoid decorative clip art in memos and reports.
Color makes visuals more dramatic, but it creates at least two problems. First, readers try
to interpret color, an interpretation that may not be appropriate. Second, meanings assigned
to colors differ depending on the audience’s national background and profession.
Connotations for color vary from culture to culture (◀◀ p. 45). Blue suggests masculin- ity in the United States, criminality in France, strength or fertility in Egypt, and villainy
in Japan. Red is sometimes used to suggest danger or stop in the United States; it means go in China and is associated with festivities. Red suggests masculinity or aristocracy in
Figure 25.3 Varieties of Bar Charts
2008 2010 2012
Northeast South Midwest West
30 20 10
0 –10 –20
New Jobs
Northeast
South
Midwest
West
= 10,000 new jobs
Television Cable DVDs
Cincinnati
San Francisco
Pittsburgh
Baseball Attendance
Football Attendance
Hours
a. Grouped bar charts compare several aspects of each item, or several items over time.
b. Segmented, subdivided, or stacked bars sum the components of an item.
d. Paired bar charts show the correlation between two items.
c. Deviation bar charts identify positive and negative values.
e. Histograms or pictograms use images to create the bars.
Many corporate logos have
hidden images within their
borders. For instance, there
is an arrow in both the FedEx
and Amazon logos, and a party
scene in red and yellow can be
found against black letters in
the Tostitos logo. Some images
even have hidden histories. One
of the most famous images
in the world—the recycling
symbol—won University of
Southern California graduate
student Gary Anderson first
place in a contest sponsored
by the Container Corporation of
America.
Sources: DivineCaroline, “Can You Spot the Hidden Images in These
Famous Logos?” August 17, 2011,
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/
can-you-spot-the-hidden-images-
in-these-famous-logos-2528093/ ;
and Gary Anderson (as told to
Katie Engelhart), “I Designed the
Recycling Symbol,” Financial
Times, May 12, 2012, http://
www.ft.com/cms/s/2/b242fb98-
996d-11e1-9a57-00144feabdc0.
html?ftcamp 5 published_links%
2Frss%2Flife-arts_design%2Ffeed%
2F%2Fproduct#axzz1vFMlIj21 .
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 421loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 421 10/01/13 6:11 PM10/01/13 6:11 PM
Confirming pages
422 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
France, death in Korea, blasphemy in some African countries, and luxury in many parts of
the world. Yellow suggests caution or cowardice in the United States, prosperity in Egypt,
grace in Japan, and femininity in many parts of the world. 4
These general cultural associations may be superseded by corporate, national, or profes-
sional associations. Some people associate blue with IBM or Hewlett-Packard and red with
Coca-Cola, communism, or Japan. People in specific professions learn other meanings for
colors. Blue suggests reliability to financial managers, water or coldness to engineers, and death to health care professionals. Red means losing money to financial managers, danger to engineers, but healthy to health care professionals. Green usually means safe to engi- neers, but infected to health care professionals. 5
These various associations suggest that color is safest with a homogenous audience
that you know well. In an increasingly multicultural workforce, color may send signals
you do not intend. When you do use color in visuals, Thorell and Smith suggest these
guidelines: 6
• Use no more than five colors when colors have meanings.
• Use glossy paper to make colors more vivid.
• Be aware that colors on a computer screen always look brighter than the same colors on
paper because the screen sends out light.
In any visual, use as little shading and as few lines as are necessary for clarity. Don’t
clutter up the visual with extra marks. When you design black and white graphs, use shades
of gray rather than stripes, wavy lines, and checks to indicate different segments or items.
In memos and reports, resist the temptation to make your visual “artistic” by turning it
into a picture or adding clip art. Clip art is predrawn images that you can import into your newsletter, sign, or graph. A small drawing of a car in the corner of a line graph showing
the number of miles driven is acceptable in an oral presentation or a newsletter, but out of
place in a written report.
Edward Tufte uses the term chartjunk for decorations that at best are irrelevant to the visual and at worst mislead the reader.
7 Turning a line graph into a highway to show miles
driven makes it harder to read: it’s hard to separate the data line from lines that are merely
decorative. If you use clip art, be sure that the images of people show a good mix of both
sexes, various races and ages, and various physical conditions (◀◀ p. 54).
What else do I need to check for? LO 25-5
▶ Be sure that the visual is accurate and ethical.
Always double-check your visuals to be sure that the information is accurate. However,
many visuals have accurate labels but misleading visual shapes. Visuals communicate
quickly; audiences remember the shape, not the labels. If the reader has to study the labels
to get the right picture, the visual is unethical even if the labels are accurate.
Figure 25.4 is distorted by chartjunk and dimensionality. In an effort to make the
visual interesting, the artist used an image of a pushpin rather than simple bars. By using
a pushpin rather than a bar, the chart makes it difficult to compare the numbers. The
number represented by the tallest figure is not quite 34 times as great as the number
represented by the shortest figure, yet the tallest figure takes up more than 34 times as
much space and appears even bigger than that. Two-dimensional figures distort data by
multiplying the apparent value by the width as well as by the height—four times for
every doubling in value. Perspective graphs are especially hard for readers to interpret
and should be avoided. 8
Even simple bar and line graphs may be misleading if part of the scale is missing, or
truncated. Truncated graphs are most acceptable when the audience knows the basic data set well. For example, graphs of the stock market almost never start at zero; they are rou-
tinely truncated. This omission is acceptable for audiences who follow the market closely.
Since part of the scale is missing in truncated graphs, small changes seem like major
ones. Figure 25.5 shows three different truncated graphs of U.S. unemployment data.
MTV finally acknowledged what
fans had noted for years: The
network that pioneered showing
music videos had all but
stopped showing music videos.
Thus, the colorful logo appears
now without “Music Television”
as part of its design, a better
recognition of its programming.
Source: Scott Collins, “MTV Drops ‘Music Television’
from Official Logo,” The Los
Angeles Times, February 13,
2010, http://articles.latimes.
com/2010/feb/13/entertainment/
la-et-branding13-2010feb13 .
Taste may be relative, but
sensitivity is key to producing
inoffensive visuals. British
Petroleum (BP), whose ruptured
oil pipeline caused perhaps the
worst human-made ecological
disaster in Gulf of Mexico history,
is no stranger to accidents.
Nonetheless, in 2002, its
risk management specialists
compared in a cost-benefit
analysis the safe housing of
refinery employees to the “Three
Little Pigs” nursery rhyme,
complete with swine-adorned
diagrams. The cheeky tone was
noted by observers when the
report surfaced during a lawsuit
against BP for a 2005 Texas City
refinery explosion. Most of the
15 workers killed there were in
trailers, an option the 2002 report
showed was 10 times cheaper
than blast-resistant housing.
Sources: Brett Michael Dykes, “Old BP Document Calculates
Worth of Human Life with ‘Three
Little Pigs’ Diagram,” May 25,
2010, http://news.yahoo.com/s/
ynews/20100525/bs_ynews/ynews_
bs2240 ; and Outzen, Rick, “BP’s
Shocking Memo,” The Daily Beast,
downloaded on May 25, 2010, at
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-
and-stories/2010-05-25/shocking-
bp-memo-and-the-oil-spill-in-the-
gulf/full/ .
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 422loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 422 10/01/13 6:11 PM10/01/13 6:11 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 423
Figure 25.4 Chartjunk and
Dimensions Distort Data
Figure 25.5 Truncated Scales Distort Data
Sources: Bureau of Labor Statistics.
0.0
2.0
4.0
6.0
8.0
10.0
12.0
Jan-02 Jan-03 Jan-04 Jan-05 Jan-06 Jan-07 Jan-08 Jan-09 Jan-10 Jan-11 Jan-12
Unemployment Rate
4.0
5.0
6.0
7.0
8.0
9.0
10.0
Jan-02 Jan-03 Jan-04 Jan-05 Jan-06 Jan-07 Jan-08 Jan-09 Jan-10 Jan-11 Jan-12
Unemployment Rate
0.0
2.0
4.0
6.0
8.0
10.0
12.0
Jan-80 Jan-83 Jan-86 Jan-89 Jan-92 Jan-95 Jan-98 Jan-01 Jan-04 Jan-07 Jan-11
Unemployment Rate
Source: Chafkin, Max. “Can Ben Silbermann Turn Pinterest Into The World’s Greatest Shopfront?” Fast Company, October 2012, http:// www.fastcodesign.com/1670681/ ben-silbermann-pinterest.
608,000
7,516,000
20,470,000
Pinterest’s Rapid Rise Monthly U.S. Unique Visitors
June 2011 Dec. 2011 June 2012
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 423loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 423 10/01/13 6:11 PM10/01/13 6:11 PM
Confirming pages
424
The second graph shows the trend in unemployment from January 2002 to January
2012. The curve rises from below the first level of the graph to the sixth, resembling
a 95% increase. But a closer look at the numbers shows the increase from 4.5%
to 10%. The period chosen for the vertical axis is truncated. The truncated scale
on the vertical axis again makes the changes appear larger. The third graph takes a
longer view (back to 1980) and puts the percentages on a scale starting at zero. On
this scale, the changes in the unemployment rate seem less dramatic, and the recent
increase looks as if it could be part of a regular pattern. Starting with 1980, the
graph shows that the latest unemployment rate is significantly lower than it was in
January 1983.
An annual report disguised losses by using a negative base. 9 Because readers expect
zero to be the base, they’re almost certain to misread the visual. Labels may make the
visual literally “accurate,” but a visual is unethical if someone who looks at it quickly is
likely to misinterpret it.
Data can also be distorted when the context is omitted. As Tufte suggests, a drop may
be part of a regular cycle, a correction after an atypical increase, or a permanent drop to a
new, lower plateau.
To make your visuals more accurate,
• Differentiate between actual and estimated or projected values.
• When you must truncate a scale, do so clearly with a break in the bars or in the
background.
• Avoid perspective and three-dimensional graphs.
• Avoid combining graphs with different scales.
• Use images of people carefully in histographs to avoid sexist, racist, or other exclusionary
visual statements.
Integrating Visuals into Your Text LO 25-6
Building a Critical Skill
Refer to every visual in your text. Normally give the table or
figure number in the text but not the title. Put the visual as soon
after your reference as space and page design permit. If the
visual must go on another page, tell the reader where to find it:
As Figure 3 shows (p. 10), . . .
(See Table 2 on page 3.)
Summarize the main point of a visual before you present the visual itself. Then when readers get to it, they’ll see it as confir-
mation of your point.
Weak: Listed below are the results. Better: As Figure 4 shows, sales doubled in the last decade.
How much discussion a visual needs depends on the audi-
ence, the complexity of the visual, and the importance of the
point it makes. If the material is new to the audience, you’ll
need a fuller explanation than if similar material is presented
to this audience every week or month. Help the reader find key
data points in complex visuals. If the point is important, discuss
its implications in some detail. In contrast, one sentence about
a visual may be enough when the audience is already familiar
with the topic and the data, when the visual is simple and well
designed, and when the information in the visual is a minor part
of your proof.
When you discuss visuals, spell out numbers that are used as
the first word of a sentence. If spelling out the number or year
is cumbersome, revise the sentence so it does not begin with a
number.
Correct: Forty-five percent of the cost goes to pay wages and salaries.
Correct: In 2002, euro notes and coins entered circulation.
The proliferation of corporate
logos—on hats, cups, shoes,
T-shirts, and billboards—
presents tricky situations in
venues where licensing to
specific companies limits
what can be done. For the
2012 Olympics in London,
organizers had to clarify what
items might be banned from
display. So, a single person
wearing a Pepsi T-shirt when
Coca Cola is an official sponsor
might be allowed in while a
group of people wearing the
same T-shirt might be asked to
leave, the latter being defined
as “ambush marketing.”
Source: Jill Lawless, “Pepsi or Coke? Olympic Brand Rules
Sow Confusion,” Bloomberg
Businessweek, July 20, 2012,
http://www.businessweek.com/
ap/2012-07-20/olympic-brand-
restrictions-sow-confusion .
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 424loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 424 10/01/13 6:11 PM10/01/13 6:11 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 425
Can I use the same visuals in my document and my presentation? LO 25-7
▶ Only if the table or graph is simple.
For presentations, simplify paper visuals. To simplify a complex table, divide it into sev-
eral visuals, cut out some of the information, round off the data even more, or present the
material in a chart rather than a table.
Visuals for presentations should have titles but don’t need figure numbers. Do know
where each visual is so that you can return to one if someone asks about it during the ques-
tion period. Decorative clip art is acceptable in oral presentations as long as it does not
obscure the story you’re telling with the visual.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Pick data to tell a story, to make a point. To find stories,
(LO 25-1) 1. Focus on a topic.
2. Simplify the data.
3. Look for relationships and changes.
• Paired graphs juxtapose two or more simple stories to create a more powerful story. (LO 25-1)
• Use tables when the reader needs to be able to identify exact values. (LO 25-2)
• Use a chart or graph when you want the reader to focus on rela-
tionships. (LO 25-2) • To compare a part to the whole, use a pie chart. (LO 25-2) • To compare one item to another item, or items over time, use a
bar chart or a line graph. (LO 25-2) • The best visual depends on the kind of data and the point you
want to make with the data. (LO 25-2) • Every visual should contain six components: (LO 25-3) 1. A title that tells the story that the visual shows.
2. A clear indication of what the data are. For example, what
people say they did is not necessarily what they really did. An estimate of what a number will be in the future
differs from numbers in the past that have already been
measured.
3. Clearly labeled units.
4. Labels or legends identifying axes, colors, symbols, and
so forth.
5. The source of the data, if you created the visual from data
someone else gathered and compiled.
6. The source of the visual, if you reproduce a visual someone
else created.
• Color makes visuals more dramatic, but it creates at least two prob-
lems. First, readers try to interpret color, an interpretation that may
not be appropriate. Second, meanings assigned to colors differ
depending on the audience’s national background and profession.
Visuals must present data correctly. Chartjunk denotes decorations that are at best irrelevant and at worst mislead the reader. (LO 25-4)
• Truncated graphs omit part of the scale and visually mislead
readers. Perspective graphs and graphs with negative bases mis-
lead readers. (LO 25-5) • Refer to every visual in your text. (LO 25-6) • Summarize the main point of a visual before you present the
visual itself. (LO 25-6) • Analyze your audience to decide how much discussion you
need. (LO 25-6) • When you discuss visuals, spell out numbers that fall at the
beginning of sentences. (LO 25-6) • For presentations, simplify paper visuals. (LO 25-7) • To simplify a complex table, divide it into several visuals, cut
out some of the information, round off the data even more, or
present the material in a chart rather than a table. (LO 25-7) • Visuals for presentations should have titles but don’t need fig-
ure numbers. (LO 25-7)
Assignments for Module 25
25.1 How can you find stories in data? (LO 25-1)
25.2 What is the difference between a table and a figure? (LO 25-2)
25.3 What is chartjunk? (LO 25-4)
Questions for Comprehension
25.4 Why does each visual need to tell a story? (LO 25-1)
25.5 Why are charts more memorable than tables? (LO 25-1)
25.6 When is chartjunk most likely to be acceptable? Why? (LO 25-4)
25.7 When is a truncated scale most likely to be acceptable? (LO 25-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 425loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 425 10/01/13 6:11 PM10/01/13 6:11 PM
Confirming pages
426 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
25.8 Identifying Stories (LO 25-1)
Of the following, which are stories?
1. Computer Use
2. Computer Prices Fall
3. More Single Parents Buy Computers than Do Any Other
Group
4. Where Your Tax Dollars Go
5. Sixty Percent of Tax Dollars Pay Entitlements, Interest
Exercises and Problems
What visual(s) would make it easiest to see each of the fol-
lowing stories?
1. Canada buys 20% of U.S. exports.
2. Undergraduate enrollment rises, but graduate enroll-
ment declines.
3. Open communication ranks number one in reasons to
take a job.
4. Companies with fewer than 200 employees created a
larger percentage of new jobs than did companies with
more than 5,000 employees.
5. Men are more likely than women to see their chances
for advancement as good.
25.9 Matching Visuals with Stories (LO 25-1)
Evaluate each of the following visuals.
• Is the visual’s message clear?
• Is it the right visual for the story?
• Is the visual designed appropriately? Is color, if any, used
appropriately?
• Is the visual free from chartjunk? • Does the visual distort data or mislead the reader in any
way?
25.10 Evaluating Visuals (LO 25-1 to LO 25-5)
1.
Ethiopia 22% Chad
24%
Kenya 17%Libya
37%
2.
Number of Lottery Participants
In-state participants
Out-of-state participants
State of residence unknown
Key
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 426loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 426 10/01/13 6:11 PM10/01/13 6:11 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 427
3.
17.95% or 7 hours
12.82% or 5 hours
10.26% or 4 hours
5.13% or 2 hours 7.69% or 3 hours
15.38% or 6 hours
30.77% or 12 hours
How My Time Will Be Used
Gathering info
Analyzing info
Preparing progress report
Organizing info
Writing draft
Revising, editing draft
Typing, editing report
4. NBA Player Salaries by Team
Bulls 15%
Pistons 12%
Clippers 17%
Lakers 12%
Celtics 14%
Knicks 10%
Heat 12%
Hawks 18%
5. Prostate Cancer Per 100,000 men
Colon Cancer Per 100,000 men
Lung Cancer Per 100,000 men
United States
Belgium
Denmark
Germany
Japan
Spain
144 79 51
122 67 52
118 72 57
127 74 54
152 82 48
147 72 55
Blue circles are the highest value in each column
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 427loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 427 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
428 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
6.
5
4.5
4
3.5
3
2.5
2
1.5
1
In m
ill io
n s
2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007
Students Enrolled in After-School Programs
Grades 1–5 Grades 6–8 Grades 9–12
7.
Alternative and Country Album Sales
55
50
45
40
3520122011201020092008
In m
illio n
s
Alternative Country
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 428loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 428 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 429
25.11 Interpreting Data (LO 25-1 to LO 25-5)
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Identify at least six stories in one or more of the follow-
ing data sets.
b. Create visuals for three of the stories.
c. Write a memo to your instructor explaining why you
chose these stories and why you chose these visuals to
display them.
d. Write a memo to some group that might be interested in
your findings, presenting your visuals as part of a short
report. Possible groups include pet stores, career coun-
selors, and financial advisers.
e. Brainstorm additional stories you could tell with
additional data. Specify the kind of data you would
need.
Celebrities, 2004
Power Rank Name Pay Rank Web Rank Press Rank TV Rank
1 Mel Gibson 1 3 6 5
2 Tiger Woods 4 8 2 12
3 Oprah Winfrey 1 44 19 8
4 Tom Cruise 12 6 24 16
5 Rolling Stones 11 25 9 21
6 J. K. Rowling 3 34 54 3
7 Michael Jordan 20 10 15 15
8 Bruce Springsteen 8 28 38 26
9 Steven Spielberg 6 32 42 36
10 Johnny Depp 35 27 28 23
11 David Letterman 17 55 22 9
12 Peter Jackson 20 18 23 28
13 Angelina Jolie 44 5 40 29
14 Cameron Diaz 26 11 47 44
15 Jim Carrey 7 42 46 35
16 Michael Schumacher 4 19 30 92
17 Jennifer Aniston 50 23 43 38
18 Kobe Bryant 47 15 4 2
19 Beyonce Knowles 57 4 10 11
20 Rush Limbaugh 29 49 29 4
21 The Eagles 15 53 12 59
22 David Beckham 35 24 3 41
23 Howard Stern 28 26 62 10
24 Julia Roberts 51 2 37 36
25 Peyton Manning 16 75 27 62
1.
Reprinted by permission of Forbes Media LLC © 2010.
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 429loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 429 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
430
E m
p lo
y m
e n t
b y m
a jo
r in
d u s tr
y s
e c to
r, 1
9 9 8 ,
2 0 0 8 ,
a n d
p ro
je c te
d 2
0 1 8
T h
o u
s a n
d s o
f jo
b s
C h
a n
g e
P e rc
e n
t d
is tr
ib u
ti o
n
A v e ra
g e a
n n
u a l
ra te
o f
c h
a n
g e
In d
u s tr
y s
e c to
r 1
9 9
8 2
0 0
8 2
0 1
8 1 9 9 8 – 2 0 0 8
2 0
0 8
– 1
8 1
9 9
8 2
0 0
8 2
0 1
8 1 9 9 8 – 2 0 0 8
2 0 0 8 – 1 8
T o
ta l(1
) 1 4 0 ,5
6 3 .9
1 5 0 ,9
3 1 .7
1 6 6 ,2
0 5 .6
1 0 ,3
6 7 .8
1 5 ,2
7 3 .9
1 0 0 .0
1 0 0 .0
1 0 0 .0
0 .7
1 .0
N o
n a g
ri c u lt u re
w a g
e a
n d
s a la
ry (2
) 1 2 6 ,6
2 4 .7
1 3 7 ,8
1 4 .8
1 5 2 ,4
4 3 .5
1 1 ,1
9 0 .1
1 4 ,6
2 8 .7
9 0 .1
9 1 .3
9 1 .7
0 .9
1 .0
G o
o d
s -p
ro d
u c in
g , e x c lu
d in
g
a g
ri c u lt u re
2 4 ,2
7 3 .6
2 1 ,3
6 3 .1
2 1 ,3
9 0 .4
2 2 ,9
1 0 .5
2 7 .3
1 7 .3
1 4 .2
1 2 .9
2 1 .3
0 .0
M in
in g
5 6 4 .7
7 1 7 .0
6 1 3 .2
1 5 2 .3
2 1
0 3 .8
0 .4
0 .5
0 .4
2 .4
2 1 .6
C o n s tr
u c ti o n
6 ,1
4 9 .4
7 ,2
1 4 .9
8 ,5
5 2 .0
1 ,0
6 5 .5
1 ,3
3 7 .1
4 .4
4 .8
5 .1
1 .6
1 .7
M a n u fa
c tu
ri n g
1 7 ,5
5 9 .5
1 3 ,4
3 1 .2
1 2 ,2
2 5 .2
2 4 ,1
2 8 .3
2 1 ,2
0 6 .0
1 2 .5
8 .9
7 .4
2 2 .6
2 0 .9
S
e rv
ic e s -p
ro v id
in g
1 0 2 ,3
5 1 .1
1 1 6 ,4
5 1 .7
1 3 1 ,0
5 3 .1
1 4 ,1
0 0 .6
1 4 ,6
0 1 .4
7 2 .8
7 7 .2
7 8 .8
1 .3
1 .2
U ti lit
ie s
6 1 3 .4
5 5 9 .5
5 0 0 .5
2 5 3 .9
2 5 9 .0
0 .4
0 .4
0 .3
2 0 .9
2 1 .1
W h o le
s a le
t ra
d e
5 ,7
9 5 .2
5 ,9
6 3 .9
6 ,2
1 9 .8
1 6 8 .7
2 5 5 .9
4 .1
4 .0
3 .7
0 .3
0 .4
R e ta
il tr
a d
e 1 4 ,6
0 9 .7
1 5 ,3
5 6 .4
1 6 ,0
1 0 .4
7 4 6 .7
6 5 4 .0
1 0 .4
1 0 .2
9 .6
0 .5
0 .4
T ra
n s p
o rt
a ti o n a
n d
w a re
h o u s in
g 4 ,1
6 8 .1
4 ,5
0 4 .9
4 ,9
5 0 .4
3 3 6 .8
4 4 5 .5
3 .0
3 .0
3 .0
0 .8
0 .9
In fo
rm a ti o n
3 ,2
1 8 .4
2 ,9
9 6 .9
3 ,1
1 5 .0
2 2 2 1 .5
1 1 8 .1
2 .3
2 .0
1 .9
2 0 .7
0 .4
F in
a n c ia
l a c ti v it ie
s 7 ,4
6 2 .4
8 ,1
4 5 .5
8 ,7
0 2 .7
6 8 3 .1
5 5 7 .2
5 .3
5 .4
5 .2
0 .9
0 .7
P ro
fe s s io
n a l a n d
b u s in
e s s
s e rv
ic e s
1 5 ,1
4 6 .5
1 7 ,7
7 8 .0
2 1 ,9
6 7 .9
2 ,6
3 1 .5
4 ,1
8 9 .9
1 0 .8
1 1 .8
1 3 .2
1 .6
2 .1
E d
u c a ti o
n a l s e rv
ic e s
2 ,2
3 3 .0
3 ,0
3 6 .5
3 ,8
4 2 .0
8 0 3 .5
8 0 5 .5
1 .6
2 .0
2 .3
3 .1
2 .4
H e a lt h c
a re
a n d
s o c ia
l
a s s is
ta n c e
1 2 ,2
1 3 .7
1 5 ,8
1 8 .7
1 9 ,8
1 5 .6
3 ,6
0 5 .0
3 ,9
9 6 .9
8 .7
1 0 .5
1 1 .9
2 .6
2 .3
L e is
u re
a n d
h o s p
it a lit
y 1 1 ,2
3 1 .6
1 3 ,4
5 8 .7
1 4 ,6
0 1 .1
2 ,2
2 7 .1
1 ,1
4 2 .4
8 .0
8 .9
8 .8
1 .8
0 .8
O th
e r
s e rv
ic e s
5 ,7
4 9 .8
6 ,3
3 3 .2
7 ,1
4 1 .9
5 8 3 .4
8 0 8 .7
4 .1
4 .2
4 .3
1 .0
1 .2
F e d
e ra
l g o v e rn
m e n t
2 ,7
7 2 .0
2 ,7
6 4 .3
2 ,8
5 9 .1
2 7 .7
9 4 .8
2 .0
1 .8
1 .7
0 .0
0 .3
S ta
te a
n d
l o c a l g o v e rn
m e n t
1 7 ,1
3 7 .3
1 9 ,7
3 5 .2
2 1 ,3
2 6 .7
2 ,5
9 7 .9
1 ,5
9 1 .5
1 2 .2
1 3 .1
1 2 .8
1 .4
0 .8
(c o n ti n u e d
)
2 .
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 430loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 430 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
431
E m
p lo
y m
e n t
b y m
a jo
r in
d u s tr
y s
e c to
r, 1
9 9 8 ,
2 0 0 8 ,
a n d
p ro
je c te
d 2
0 1 8 ( c o
n ti n u e d
)
1 E
m p
lo y m
e n t
d a ta
f o r
w a g e a
n d
s a la
ry w
o rk
e rs
a re
f ro
m t
h e B
L S
C u rr
e n t
E m
p lo
y m
e n t
S ta
ti s ti c s s
u rv
e y,
w h ic
h c
o u n ts
j o b
s ,
w h e re
a s s
e lf -e
m p
lo y e d
, u n p
a id
f a m
ily w
o rk
e rs
, a n d
a g
ri c u lt u re
, fo
re s tr
y, fi s
h in
g , a n d
h u n ti n g
a re
f ro
m t
h e C
u rr
e n t
P o p
u la
ti o n S
u rv
e y ( h o u s e h o ld
s u rv
e y ), w
h ic
h c
o u n ts
w o rk
e rs
.
2 In
c lu
d e s w
a g e a
n d
s a la
ry d
a ta
f ro
m t
h e C
u rr
e n t
E m
p lo
y m
e n t
S ta
ti s ti c s s
u rv
e y,
e x c e p
t p
ri v a te
h o u s e h o ld
s ,
w h ic
h i s f ro
m t
h e C
u rr
e n t
P o
p u la
ti o
n s S
u rv
e y.
3 In
c lu
d e s a
g ri c u lt u re
, fo
re s tr
y, f is
h in
g , a n d
h u n ti n g d
a ta
f ro
m t
h e C
u rr
e n t
P o p
u la
ti o n S
u rv
e y,
e x c e p
t lo
g g in
g ,
w h ic
h i s f ro
m C
u rr
e n t
E m
p lo
y m
e n t
S ta
ti s ti c s s
u rv
e y.
G o
v e rn
m e n t
w a g
e a
n d
s a la
ry w
o rk
e rs
a re
e x c lu
d e d
.
4 W
o rk
e rs
w h o h
o ld
a s
e c o n d
a ry
w a g e a
n d
s a la
ry j o b
i n a
g ri c u lt u ra
l p
ro d
u c ti o n ,
fo re
s tr
y, f is
h in
g ,
a n d
p ri v a te
h o u s e h o ld
i n d
u s tr
ie s .
5 W
a g e a
n d
s a la
ry w
o rk
e rs
w h o h
o ld
a s
e c o n d
a ry
j o b
a s a
s e lf -e
m p
lo y e d
o r
u n p
a id
f a m
ily w
o rk
e r.
S o u rc
e : E
m p
lo y m
e n t
P ro
je c ti o n s P
ro g ra
m , U
.S . D
e p
a rt
m e n t
o f L a b
o r, U
.S .
B u re
a u o
f L a b
o r
S ta
ti s ti c s .
T h
o u
s a n
d s o
f jo
b s
C h
a n
g e
P e rc
e n
t d
is tr
ib u
ti o
n
A v e ra
g e a
n n
u a l
ra te
o f
c h
a n
g e
In d
u s tr
y s
e c to
r 1
9 9
8 2
0 0
8 2
0 1
8 1 9 9 8 – 2 0 0 8
2 0
0 8
– 1
8 1
9 9
8 2
0 0
8 2
0 1
8 1 9 9 8 – 2 0 0 8
2 0 0 8 – 1 8
A g
ri c u lt u re
, fo
re s tr
y , fi s h in
g ,
a n d
h u n ti n g
(3 )
2 ,5
2 8 .0
2 ,0
9 8 .3
2 ,0
2 0 .1
2 4 2 9 .7
2 7 8 .2
1 .8
1 .4
1 .2
2 1 .8
2 0 .4
A g ri c u lt u re
w a g e a
n d
s a la
ry 1 ,3
7 2 .6
1 ,2
0 9 .8
1 ,2
0 6 .4
2 1 6 2 .8
2 3 .4
1 .0
0 .8
0 .7
2 1 .3
0 .0
A g ri c u lt u re
s e lf -e
m p
lo y e d
a n d
u n p
a id
f a m
ily w
o rk
e rs
1 ,1
5 5 .4
8 8 8 .5
8 1 3 .7
2 2 6 6 .9
2 7 4 .8
0 .8
0 .6
0 .5
2 2 .6
2 0 .9
N
o n a g
ri c u lt u re
s e lf -e
m p
lo y e d
a n d
u n p
a id
f a m
il y w
o rk
e r
9 ,3
4 2 .2
9 ,3
1 2 .6
9 ,9
4 3 .1
2 2 9 .6
6 3 0 .5
6 .6
6 .2
6 .0
0 .0
0 .7
S
e c o
n d
a ry
w a g
e a
n d
s a la
ry j o
b s
in a
g ri c u lt u re
a n d
p ri v a te
h o
u s e h o
ld i n d
u s tr
ie s
(4 )
1 7 2 .5
1 8 1 .7
1 9 1 .6
9 .2
9 .9
0 .1
0 .1
0 .1
0 .5
0 .5
S
e c o
n d
a ry
j o
b s a
s a
s e lf -e
m p
lo y e d
o r
u n p
a id
f a m
il y w
o rk
e r(
5 )
1 ,8
9 6 .5
1 ,5
2 4 .3
1 ,6
0 7 .3
2 3 7 2 .2
8 3 .0
1 .3
1 .0
1 .0
2 2 .2
0 .5
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 431loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 431 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
432
3 .
M e d
ia n u
s u a l w
e e k ly
e a rn
in g
s o
f fu
ll -t
im e w
a g
e a
n d
s a la
ry w
o rk
e rs
b y o
c c u p
a ti o
n a
n d
s e x ,
1 9 8 3 a
n d
2 0
0 2
a n
n u
a l a v e ra
g e s
1 T h e s e fi g
u re
s a
re c
o m
p u te
d u
s in
g u
n ro
u n d
e d
m e d
ia n s a
n d
m a y d
if fe
r s lig
h tl y f ro
m p
e rc
e n ts
c o m
p u te
d u
s in
g t
h e r
o u n d
e d
m e d
ia n s d
is p
la y e d
i n t
h is
t a b
le .
2 D
a ta
n o t
s h o w
n w
h e re
b a s e i s l e s s t
h a n 5
0 ,0
0 0 .
3 D
a ta
n o t
s h o w
n w
h e re
b a s e f o r
e it h e r
th e n
u m
e ra
to r
o r
d e n o m
in a to
r is
l e s s t
h a n 5
0 ,0
0 0 .
S o u rc
e : H
ig h lig
h ts
o f W
o m
e n ’s
E a rn
in g s i n 2
0 0 2 , fr o m
h tt
p :/
/w w
w .b
ls .g
o v.
c p
s /c
p s w
o m
2 0 0 2 .p
d f .
1 9
8 3
2 0
0 2
O c c u p
a ti o
n
N u
m b
e r
o f
w o
rk e rs
(i n
th o
u s a n
d s )
P e rc
e n
t
w o
m e n
M e d
ia n
w e e k ly
e a rn
in g
s
W o
m e n
M
e n
W o
m e n
’s
e a rn
in g
s
a s
p e rc
e n
t
o f
m e n
’s 1
N u
m b
e r
o f
w o
rk e rs
(i n
th o
u s a n
d s )
P e rc
e n
t
w o
m e n
M e d
ia n
w e e k ly
e a rn
in g
s
W o
m e n
M
e n
W o
m e n
’s
e a rn
in g
s
a s
p e rc
e n
t
o f
m e n
’s 1
T o ta
l, 1
6 y
e a rs
a n d
o v e r .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
7 0 ,9
7 6
4 0 .4
$ 2 5 2
$ 3 7 9
6 6 .6
1 0 0 ,2
0 4
4 3 .7
$ 5 3 0
$ 6 8 0
7 8 .1
M a n a g e ri a l a n d
p ro
fe s s io
n a l
s p
e c ia
lt y . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
1 7 ,4
5 1
4 0 .9
3 5 8
5 1 6
6 9 .2
3 2 ,6
9 4
5 0 .4
7 5 6
1 ,0
5 8
7 1 .4
E
x e c u ti v e , a d
m in
is tr
a ti v e ,
a n d
m a n a g e ri a l .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
8 ,1
1 7
3 4 .2
3 4 0
5 3 0
6 4 .0
1 6 ,0
6 5
4 7 .5
7 3 6
1 ,0
8 1
6 8 .1
P
ro fe
s s io
n a l s p
e c ia
lt y ..
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
9 ,3
3 4
4 6 .8
3 6 8
5 0 6
7 2 .6
1 6 ,6
2 9
5 3 .1
7 7 3
1 ,0
3 7
7 4 .5
T e c h n ic
a l, s
a le
s , a n d
a d
m in
is tr
a ti v e s
u p
p o rt
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
2 1 ,6
4 1
6 2 .5
2 4 7
3 8 6
6 4 .0
2 7 ,8
2 9
6 0 .9
4 9 0
$ 6 9 9
7 0 .0
T e c h n ic
ia n s a
n d
r e la
te d
s u p
p o rt
.. .. .
2 ,5
7 4
4 4 .5
2 9 9
4 2 4
7 0 .6
3 ,6
6 0
5 0 .1
5 9 1
8 4 1
7 0 .3
S
a le
s o
c c u p
a ti o n s . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
6 ,3
1 3
3 9 .0
2 0 5
3 8 9
5 2 .7
1 0 ,1
7 5
4 3 .7
4 4 1
7 4 2
5 9 .5
A
d m
in is
tr a ti v e s
u p
p o rt
,
in c lu
d in
g c
le ri c a l . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
1 2 ,7
5 5
7 7 .7
2 4 9
3 6 2
6 8 .7
1 3 ,9
9 4
7 6 .3
4 8 8
5 8 3
8 3 .7
S e rv
ic e o
c c u p
a ti o n s . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
7 ,3
2 1
4 9 .2
1 7 3
2 5 6
6 7 .8
1 1 ,5
4 2
5 1 .9
3 4 3
4 4 5
7 7 .0
P
ri v a te
h o u s e h o ld
. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
2 7 8
9 6 .0
1 1 6
( 2 )
( 3 )
3 3 8
9 2 .5
2 7 6
( 2 )
( 3 )
P
ro te
c ti v e s
e rv
ic e ..
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
1 ,4
5 3
9 .5
2 5 1
3 5 6
7 0 .4
2 ,3
0 0
1 7 .7
5 0 1
6 8 9
7 2 .6
S
e rv
ic e , e x c e p
t p
ri v a te
h o u s e h o
ld a
n d
p ro
te c ti v e ..
.. .. .. .. .
5 ,5
9 0
5 7 .1
1 7 6
2 1 8
8 1 .0
8 ,9
0 4
5 9 .2
3 3 9
3 7 9
8 9 .5
P re
c is
io n p
ro d
u c ti o n , c ra
ft ,
a n d
r e p
a ir . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
9 ,9
6 3
7 .9
2 5 6
3 8 7
6 6 .1
1 1 ,8
0 6
8 .0
4 7 9
6 4 5
7 4 .2
O p e ra
to rs
, fa
b ri c a to
rs , a n d l a b o re
rs ..
.. 1 3 ,3
1 9
2 6 .2
2 0 5
3 0 8
6 6 .5
1 4 ,6
4 5
2 1 .5
3 8 5
5 1 1
7 5 .3
M
a c h in
e o
p e ra
to rs
, a s s e m
b le
rs ,
a n d
i n s p
e c to
rs . .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
6 ,9
9 0
4 0 .8
2 0 2
3 2 0
6 3 .3
5 ,8
4 1
3 3 .6
3 8 6
5 2 0
7 4 .3
T ra
n s p
o rt
a ti o n a
n d
m a te
ri a l
m o v in
g o
c c u p
a ti o n s ..
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .
3 ,3
5 8
4 .7
2 5 3
3 3 5
7 5 .5
4 ,6
5 1
7 .9
4 4 9
5 9 1
7 6 .1
H
a n d
le rs
, e q
u ip
m e n t
c le
a n e rs
,
h e lp
e rs
, a n d
l a b
o re
rs ..
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
2 ,9
7 0
1 6 .0
2 1 1
2 5 2
8 3 .9
4 ,1
5 3
1 9 .6
3 5 9
4 1 1
8 7 .4
F a rm
in g , fo
re s tr
y, a
n d
f is
h in
g . .. .. .. .. ..
1 ,2
8 0
1 1 .2
1 6 9
2 0 1
8 4 .2
1 ,6
8 7
1 6 .0
3 0 8
3 7 6
8 1 .9
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 432loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 432 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 433
(For information on confidentiality protection, nonsampling error, and definitions, see www.census.gov/prod/cen2000/doc/sf1.pdf)
Detailed group
Asian alone
Asian in combination with one or
more other races Asian detailed
group alone
or in any
combination2
One Asian
group
reported1
Two or more
Asian groups
reported2
One Asian
group
reported
Two or more
Asian groups
reported2
Total ..................... 10,019,405 223,593 1,516,841 138,989 11,898,828
Asian Indian ............. 1,678,765 40,013 165,437 15,384 1,899,599
Bangladeshi ............. 41,280 5,625 9,655 852 57,412
Bhutanese ................ 183 9 17 3 212
Burmese ................... 13,159 1,461 1,837 263 16,720
Cambodian .............. 171,937 11,832 20,830 1,453 206,052
4.
(continued)
Percent of
consumers who, in
the past year, have Overall
By Age
Sig.a18–24 25–34 35–44 45–54 55–64
65 and
over
Received a
telemarketing call
85.8% 74.8% 87.3% 89.9% 89.5% 87.5% 79.6% ***
Purchased something
in response to a
telemarketing call from
a company with whom
you have not previously
done business
3.7% 1.8% 6.4% 4.9% 3.8% 3.2% 1.4% ***
Contributed to a
charity to which you
have not previously
donated in response to
a telemarketing call
7.9% 7.5% 12.3% 10.2% 5.7% 7.9% 4.7% ***
Placed an order for a
product by telephone,
Internet, or mail after
receiving an unsolicited
piece of mail from a
company with whom
you have not previously
done business
9.1% 7.5% 13.4% 9.3% 9.4% 8.3% 6.5% **
Placed an order for a
product by telephone,
Internet, or mail after
seeing a television
advertisement or
infomercial
22.3% 21.4% 25.3% 24.7% 24.4% 19.7% 17.7% *
Purchased something
from an Internet website
37.9% 38.4% 52.0% 50.5% 43.5% 28.3% 14.5% ***
Consumer Responses to Solicitations
From “Consumer Fraud in the United States: An FTC Survey, http://www.ftc.gov/reports/consumerfraud/040805confraudrpt.pdf.table2
Note. a Indicates joint statistical significance of differences across age groups.
***significant at 1 percent level
**significant at 5 percent level
*significant at 10 percent level
Asian Population by Detailed Group: 2000
5.
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 433loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 433 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
434 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
From “The Asian Population: 2000,” http://www.census.gov/prod/2002pubs/c2kbr01-16.pdf .
-Represents zero.
1 The total of 10,019,405 respondents categorized as reporting only one Asian group in this table is lower than the total of 10,019,410 shown in Table PCT5
(U.S. Census Bureau, Census 2000 Summary File 1 100-Percent Data, see factfinder.census.gov ). This table includes more detailed groups than PCT5. This
means that, for example, an individual who reported “Pakistani and Nepalese” is shown in this table as reporting two or more Asian groups. However, that same
individual is categorized as reporting a single Asian group in PCT5 because both Pakistani and Nepalese are part of the larger Other specified Asian group.
2 The numbers by detailed Asian group do not add to the total population. This is because the detailed Asian groups are tallies of the number of Asian
responses rather than the number of Asian respondents. Respondents reporting several Asian groups are counted several times. For example, a
respondent reporting “Korean and Filipino” would be included in the Korean as well as the Filipino numbers.
3 Includes respondents who checked the “Other Asian” response category on the census questionnaire or wrote in a generic term such as “Asian” or “Asiatic.”
Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Census 2000, special tabulations.
Detailed group
Asian alone
Asian in combination with one or
more other races Asian detailed
group alone
or in any
combination2
One Asian
group
reported1
Two or more
Asian groups
reported2
One Asian
group
reported
Two or more
Asian groups
reported2
Chinese, except
Taiwanese ............ 2,314,537 130,826 201,688 87,790 2,734,841
Filipino ...................... 1,850,314 57,811 385,236 71,454 2,364,815
Hmong ..................... 169,428 5,284 11,153 445 186,310
Indo Chinese ........... 113 55 23 8 199
Indonesian ............... 39,757 4,429 17,256 1,631 63,073
Iwo Jiman ................. 15 3 60 - 78
Japanese ................. 796,700 55,537 241,209 55,486 1,148,932
Korean ...................... 1,076,872 22,550 114,211 14,794 1,228,427
Laotian ...................... 168,707 10,396 17,914 1,186 198,203
Malaysian ................. 10,690 4,339 2,837 700 18,566
Maldivian .................. 27 2 22 - 51
Nepalese .................. 7,858 351 1,128 62 9,399
Okinawan ................. 3,513 2,625 2,816 1,645 10,599
Pakistani ................... 153,533 11,095 37,587 2,094 204,309
Singaporean ............ 1,437 580 307 70 2,394
SriLankan ................. 20,145 1,219 2,966 257 24,587
Taiwanese ................ 118,048 14,096 11,394 1,257 144,795
Thai ........................... 112,989 7,929 27,170 2,195 150,283
Vietnamese .............. 1,122,528 47,144 48,639 5,425 1,223,736
Other Asian, not
specified3 ............. 146,870 19,576 195,449 7,535 369,430
Asian Population by Detailed Group: 2000 (continued)
25.12 Graphing Data from the Web (LO 25-1 to LO 25-5)
Find data on the web about a topic that interests you. Sites
with data include
American Demographics Archives: www.inside .com/default.csp?entity 5 American Demo
Catalyst: www.catalystwomen.org/press_room/
factsheets.htm
FEDSTATS (links to U.S. government agencies):
www.fedstats.gov
Food and Nutrition Information Center:
www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/etext/000056.html
U.S. Census Bureau E-Stats:
www.census.gov/eos/www/ebusiness6l4.htm
White House Briefing Room (economic issues):
www.whitehouse.gov/fsbr/esbr.html
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Identify at least seven stories in the data.
b. Create visuals for three of the stories.
c. Write a memo to your instructor explaining why you
chose these stories and why you chose these visuals to
display them.
d. Write a memo to some group that might be interested in
your findings, presenting your visuals as part of a short
report.
e. Print out the data and include it with a copy of your
memo or report.
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 434loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 434 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
Module 25 Using Visuals 435
Subject lines are the title of a letter, memo, or e-mail message.
Headings within a document tell the reader what information you
will discuss in that section.
Good subject lines are specific, concise, and appropriate for
your purposes and the response you expect from the reader. Subject
lines are required in memos, optional in letters.
• Put in good news if you have it.
• If information is neutral, summarize it.
• Use negative subject lines if the reader might not read the mes-
sage, needs the information to act, or if the negative is your error.
• In a request that is easy for the reader to grant, put the subject of
that request or a direct question in the subject line.
• When you must persuade a reluctant reader, use a common
ground, a reader benefit, or a directed subject line that makes
your stance on the issue clear.
Headings are single words, short phrases, or complete sentences
that indicate the topic in a document section. Headings must be
parallel—that is, they must use the same grammatical structure—
and must cover all the information until the next heading.
The most useful headings are talking heads, which sum up the content of the section.
Weak: Problem
Cause 1
Cause 2
Cause 3
Better: Communication Problems between Air Traffic
Controllers and Pilots
Selective Listening
Indirect Conversational Style
Limitations of Short-Term Memory
Exercises
1. Idea
2. Hey there!
3. Are you around?
4. Benefits Change
5. Special Invitation
6. A Word About Your Vacation
7. Marketing, the Public Relations Department, and the people
in Shipping and Receiving
8. Principal Investor Concerns
a. Why expand into new markets?
b. Return on investments.
• Thinking about how to create greater efficiencies.
9. Goals for 2014
• Expanding into China.
• Mexico market expansion.
• What we can do to improve market share in Brazil.
10. Presentations
1. Martha Denham
2. Mr. Hamilton Abruzzese
3. Joey
4. Solomon “Aye, Aye” Pinker
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Writing Subject Lines and Headings
Polishing Your Prose
Unit 6 Cases for Communicators
In countries like Jordan, where water is in short supply, Nader
Atmeh hopes to help conserve the precious resource with
Keenwash, the waterless car wash business he founded with his
sons. Keenwash uses a nontoxic spray-on solution that is almost
entirely biodegradable. It is mixed and bottled at a factory in
Amman, Jordan, and emulsifies dirt, making it easy to be wiped off
with a cloth. With the typical car wash using 50 gallons of water
per vehicle, the water savings amounts to hundreds of thousands of
gallons annually.
Though waterless car washes have been around in the United
States for years, they have yet to catch on in Jordan. Atmeh, In
fact, got the idea for Keenwash while visiting a waterless car wash
in Dallas in 2003. But while testing U.S. products in his native
country, he was unimpressed. That led the pharmacist and cosmet-
ics and household cleaning product manufacturer to develop his
own formula. Atmeh founded his company in 2008 and to date has
cleaned 35,000 cars.
Keenwash is expanding to other markets. There are now five
franchises in Saudi Arabia, and one each in Bahrain, Kuwait,
Oman, and the West Bank. Hassan Atmeh, one of Nader’s sons, is
hoping to sell 250 franchises in Egypt.
Individual Assignment
Imagine that you work in the marketing department at Waterless
Car Wash of America (WCWA), a company with car washes in
Waterless Wonder!
Source: Nick Leiber, “Keenwash: A Waterless Car Wash from the Middle East,” Bloomberg Businessweek, June 16, 2011, http://www.businessweek. com/magazine/content/11_26/b4234046583125.htm.
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 435loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 435 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
436 Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
several states on the East Coast that wishes to expand westward.
It’s web accounts manager presents an opportunity to write an
online questionnaire to gather critical data about potential franchi-
sees’ demographics and their desire to open a WCWA franchise in
the Midwest or Southwest.
The questionnaire, which will be put on WCWA’s website, will
appear immediately after visitors log in with their user name and
password. Potential franchisees can bypass filling out the question-
naire, but they will continue to see it on return visits until they fill it
out. Return visitors who have completed the questionnaire will not
see it a second time.
Your manager has created a list of 10 general question areas for
the questionnaire.
1. How did you learn about WCWA’s website?
2. Did WCWA’s business model convince you to apply for a
franchise?
3. Have you ever used a WCWA car wash?
4. If not, do you intend to visit one? When?
5. How many of these people have been using a WCWA car
wash already?
6. If you have used a WCWA car wash before, how many times
have you used one?
7. If you have used a WCWA car wash before, what do you think
of the quality of its service?
8. What previous experience do you have in business?
9. Will you require assistance in securing financing for a
franchise?
10. What makes you most interested in a WCWA franchise?
Before you begin writing the questionnaire, consider these points:
• What type of questions should I write—open or closed?
• Who is the population for this questionnaire?
• Is my sample a random sample, a convenience sample, or a
judgment sample?
• How does the sample type affect my ability to generalize my
findings?
As you write the questionnaire, ask yourself the following
questions:
• Are my questions phrased in such a way as to be neutral and
clear?
• Have I made any inappropriate assumptions in my questions?
• Am I using branching questions where appropriate?
• Have I structured the questionnaire so that easier questions
come before harder questions?
• Do my questions cover the necessary points as outlined by my
manager?
• Have I used indentations and white spaces effectively?
Make the questionnaire clear, concise, and easy to tabulate.
Group Activity
WCWA has now gathered the required demographic and viewing
habit information, and discussions have already begun about the
future. Some executives believe that the questionnaire program
should be ended, while others think it should be extended indef-
initely as part of the overall promotional approach for WCWA’s
franchising program.
You and your colleagues in the marketing department have
been asked to present a recommendation report to executives on
this very issue. You know that the campaign has done well, but
you are not sure if it has generated enough interest to warrant
its continuation.
With other members of your group, brainstorm questions whose
answers will guide your writing of the report. For each question,
brainstorm one or more possible stories the data might tell and
which kind of visual would best tell that story.
loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 436loc03261_ch25_416-436.indd 436 10/01/13 6:12 PM10/01/13 6:12 PM
Confirming pages
7 Job Hunting Module 26 Researching Jobs
Module 28 Job Application Letters Module 29 Job Interviews
Module 27 Résumés
Module 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 437loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 437 12/29/12 6:15 PM12/29/12 6:15 PM
Confirming pages
438
P erhaps you already have a job waiting for you; perhaps your skills are in such demand that
employers will seek you out. If, however, the job picture is more murky, the modules in this unit
will help you find your way.
Globalization has expanded the labor pool, and finding—and keeping—a job in a tight economy
can be tricky. Some job applicants are going to extremes, using gimmicks to get attention or boasting
of accomplishments rather than explaining how they can help employers. Such tactics usually fail, and
when they do, show poor audience analysis. Spare yourself embarrassment by doing your research
on potential employers carefully and thoroughly.
To increase opportunities, start the job search process before you graduate, and the sooner the better.
Seek internships, for instance, and talk with professors and others in your field to establish contacts for
information interviews. Network with LinkedIn, Facebook, and other social media. Join campus organiza-
tions that may point you to career opportunities. Take extra classes to enhance skills. Volunteer. The goal
is to put your name and face “out there.” Get as much experience related to your field as you can.
Of course, no strategy guarantees a job. The reality is that some college graduates never find work
in their field, and that has always been true, even in better economic times. A college degree can give
you an edge in the competition, but fortune and persistence also come into play. You increase your
chances, however, by employing as many strategies as possible.
LO 26-1 Know yourself for successful job hunts.
LO 26-2 Know companies for successful job hunts.
LO 26-3 Recognize signs for staying with or leaving a job.
LO 26-4 Apply strategies for information interviews.
LO 26-5 Apply strategies for tapping into the hidden job market.
LO 26-6 Assess weaknesses for stronger job application appeals.
By using the principles discussed in Module 26, you can improve your chances of finding the right job
for you. After completing the module, you should be able to
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Researching Jobs 26
Module
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 438loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 438 12/29/12 6:15 PM12/29/12 6:15 PM
Confirming pages
Module 26 Researching Jobs 439
The most successful job hunting method, claims Richard Bolles, hasn’t changed:
Do thorough homework on yourself. Know your best skills, in order of priority. Know the
fields in which you want to use those skills. Talk to people who have those kinds of jobs.
Find out whether they’re happy, and how they found their jobs. Then choose the places where
you want to work, rather than just those places that have advertised openings. Thoroughly
research these organizations before approaching them. Seek out the person who actually has
the power to hire you for the job that you want. Demonstrate to that person how you can
help the company with its problems. Cut no corners; take no shortcuts. That method has
an 86% success rate. 1
What do I need to know about myself to job hunt? LO 26-1
▶ Your knowledge, skills, abilities, interests, and values.
Each person could do several jobs happily. Personality and aptitude tests can tell you what
your strengths are, but they won’t say, “You should be a _____ .” You’ll still need to answer
questions like these:
• What achievements have given you the most satisfaction? Why did you enjoy them? • Would you rather have firm deadlines or a flexible schedule? Do you prefer working
alone or with other people? Do you prefer specific instructions and standards for
evaluation or freedom and uncertainty? How comfortable are you with pressure? Are
you willing to “pay your dues” for several years before you are promoted? How much
challenge do you want?
• Are you willing to take work home? To travel? How important is money to you?
Prestige? Time to spend with family and friends?
• Where do you want to live? What features in terms of weather, geography, and cultural
and social life do you see as ideal?
• Is it important to you that your work achieve certain purposes or values, or do you
see work as “just a way to make a living”? Are the organization’s culture and ethical
standards important to you?
Once you know what is most important to you, analyze the job market to see where
you could find what you want. For example, Peter’s greatest interest is athletics, but he
isn’t good enough for the pros. Studying the job market might suggest several alterna-
tives. He could teach sports and physical fitness as a high school coach or a corporate
fitness director. He could cover sports for a newspaper, a magazine, a TV station, or
the web. He could go into management or sales for a professional sports team, a health
club, or a company that sells sports equipment. He could create or manage a sports
web page.
What do I need to know about companies that might hire me? LO 26-2
▶ As much as you can!
To adapt your letter to a specific organization and to shine at the interview, you need infor-
mation both about the employer and about the job itself. You’ll need to know
• What the job itself involves. Notebooks at campus placement offices often have fuller job descriptions than appear in ads. Talk to friends who have graduated recently to
learn what their jobs involve. Conduct information interviews to learn more about
opportunities that interest you.
Site to See
Go to
www.careerplanner.com/ Career-Articles/Offshoring- Jobs.htm
for a chart of how secure job
types are from being offshored.
Go to
According to a survey by
CompTIA, while about 97% of
people between ages 13 and
24 say they like technology, only
18% of them expressed strong
interest in a career in information
technology. Opportunities in that
field are expected to grow by 22%
by 2020, translating to more than
750,000 jobs. That figure dovetails
with U.S. News and World
Report’s ranking of the 25 best
jobs. Registered nurse tops
that list, but software developer
is second, with database
administrator, web developer,
computer systems analyst, and
computer programmer also
making the top 10.
Source: Jada Graves, “The 25 Best Jobs of 2012,” U.S. News and
World Reports, February 27, 2012,
http://money.usnews.com/money/
careers/articles/2012/02/27/
the-best-jobs-of-2012 .
A survey of more than
800,000 U.S. job seekers by
CareerBuilder found that half
said that location was a top
factor in deciding whether or
not to apply for a job, while a
tenth said they decided not to
go through with an application
because it was too long, often
because applicants must answer
questions in addition to providing
a cover letter and résumé.
(continued)
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 439loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 439 12/29/12 6:15 PM12/29/12 6:15 PM
Confirming pages
440
Choosing Whether to Stay or Go LO 26-3
Building a Critical Skill
When your job is OK, it’s often hard to know whether to stay
or move. After all, you know all the flaws of your current situ-
ation. Any new job will have its own flaws, but you probably
don’t know them and certainly don’t know all of them. To
decide on the basis of the pluses and minuses you know, there-
fore, is illogical. You need a better way to compare the job you
know to the one that is only a possibility.
William Morin offers a seven-question quiz. Are the follow-
ing statements true or false for you?
1. Your boss likes you and advocates for you in the
organization.
2. Your boss is doing well.
3. You’ve been promoted in the last two years.
4. Your pension plan, 401(k), and other benefits are vested
(or are near vesting) and growing.
5. The company is doing well and can grow further.
6. You’re getting better-than-average raises. (Average for
white-collar workers is about 3.5% a year in good years.)
7. Your boss has mentioned within the last year that you are
valued and he or she sees where you might be headed in
the organization.
If most of these statements are true for you, Morin says, you
should stay where you are.
Professor John Sullivan offers a different set of questions to
evaluate your current job and new possibilities:
1. Do you love the work? The ideal job is one you’d want to
do even if you were rich.
2. Do you have a great mentor? Your career will soar if
you do.
3. Do you have opportunities to learn a lot fast? No job is
forever. But if you keep learning cutting-edge skills, you’ll
always be employable.
4. Does the job encourage rapid change? Change encour-
ages growth. And growth keeps you employable and
promotable.
5. Is the company an employer of choice (EOC, for whom
everyone wants to work) or a fun place to work (FPW)?
If you’re with an EOC, you get an “impeccable pedigree
that will prove invaluable” the next time you’re on the job
market. And an FPW is its own reward.
The job with the most “yes” responses wins.
Jeanne Sahadi knew she’d been on the job too long when
after her grandmother asked if she wanted more bread, Sahadi
burst into tears. Stress and countless hours on the job had finally
taken their toll and spilled over to her private life.
To determine if it’s time to leave, career coach and psychol-
ogist Dory Hollander recommends looking for these telltale
signs:
• You have a lot on your mind, just not work.
• Things change, not to your advantage.
• Your boss takes you for granted.
• You pigeonhole yourself.
• Your mood ranges from angry to angrier.
• You feel awful.
Sources: Anne Fisher, “Ask Annie,” Fortune, February 7, 2000, 210; John Sullivan, “What Makes a Great Job?” Fast Company, October 1998, 166; and Jeanne Sahadi, “Your Job: Signs You’ve Stayed Too Long,” CNN/ Money, July 27, 2005, downloaded at http://money.cnn.com/2005/07/26/ commentary/everyday/sahadi/index.htm?cnn=yes .
Site to See
Go to
http://www.hiremymom. com
for job opportunities working
out of the home.
Go to
For Internet job hunting, niche
job boards are often more
useful than general ones. When
telecommunications manager
Ross Quam decided to leave the
U.S. Marines, he got no nibbles
from generalist job boards such
as Monster.com and America’s
Job Bank. But when he posted
his résumé on Telecomcareers.net ,
he got three job offers.
Source: Rachel Louise Ensign, “Nice Job listing. Will You Apply?” The Wall
Street Journal, June 21, 2012, http://
blogs.wsj.com/atwork/2012/06/21/
nice-job-listing-will-you-apply/?KEY
WORDS=application+letter+ .
(continued)
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 440loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 440 12/29/12 6:15 PM12/29/12 6:15 PM
Confirming pages
Module 26 Researching Jobs 441
• The name and address of the person who should receive the letter. To get this information, check the ad or the web or call the organization. An advantage of calling is
that you can find out whether a woman prefers Ms. or Mrs. • What the organization does and at least four or five facts about it. Knowing the
organization’s larger goals enables you to show how your specific work will help the
company meet its goals. Useful facts include
• Market share.
• Competitive position.
• New products, services, or promotions.
• The kind of computer or manufacturing equipment the company uses.
• Plans for growth or downsizing.
• Challenges the organization faces.
• The corporate culture (◀◀ p. 28).
The directories listed in Figure 26.1 provide information including net worth, market
share, principal products, and the names of officers and directors. Ask your librarian to
identify additional directories. To get specific financial data (and to see how the organi-
zation presents itself to the public), get the company’s annual report on the web. (Note:
Only companies whose stock is publicly traded are required to issue annual reports. In
this day of mergers and buyouts, many companies are owned by other companies. The
parent company may be the only one to issue an annual report.) Many company websites
provide information about training programs and career paths for new hires. To learn
about new products, plans for growth, or solutions to industry challenges, read business
newspapers such as The Wall Street Journal or The Financial Post; business magazines such as Fortune, Bloomberg Businessweek, and Forbes; and trade journals. Each of these has indexes listing which companies are discussed in a specific issue. A few of the trade
journals available are listed in Figure 26.2 .
The Internet has much of this information, including information about corporate cul-
ture and even anonymous statements from employees. Figure 26.3 lists some of the best
sites. Check professional listservs and electronic bulletin boards. Employers sometimes
post specialized jobs on them: They’re always a good way to get information about the
industry you hope to enter.
Should I do information interviews? LO 26-4
▶ They’ll help any job hunter. They’re crucial if you’re not sure what you want to do.
In an information interview you talk to someone who works in the area you hope to enter to find out what the day-to-day work involves and how you can best prepare to enter that
field. You do not ask for a job. However, an information interview can
In 2011, 1.5 million bachelor’s
degree holders under the
age of 25 were jobless or
underemployed—that’s 53.6%
compared to 41% in 2000. The
job market showed little change
in the prospects for graduates
in 2012, though demand
for workers continued to be
strong in science, education,
and health fields. Among the
college majors most likely to
find jobs appropriate to their
education level were nursing,
education, and accounting. In
2012, however, employers in
other fields were scrambling
to find applicants. Jeff Silver,
CEO of Coyote Logistics, cited
300,000 open trucker jobs in
the U.S., and a recent survey
by ManpowerGroup ranked the
toughest positions to fill, with
skilled trades like plumber and
electrician at the top. Also on
the list were IT, mechanic, and
engineering jobs. The biggest
problem? Too few applicants
with the necessary skills.
Sources: Hope Yen, “1 in 2 New Graduates Are Jobless or Under-
employed,” April 23, 2012, http://
finance.yahoo.com/news/1-2-
graduates-jobless-underemployed-
140300522.html ; and Darren Dahl,
“A Sea of Job Seekers, But Some
Companies Aren’t Getting Any Bites,”
The New York Times, June 27, 2012,
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/
28/business/smallbusiness/even-
with-high-unemployment-some-
small-businesses-struggle-to-fill-
positions.html?pagewanted=all .
Site to See
Go to
www.jobhuntersbible.com/
Dick Bolles’ useful site
identifies five ways to use the
Internet, explains how to make
contacts (whether you already
have the name of a person or
not), and offers advice about
career and personality tests.
Go to
Figure 26.1 Print Sources for Addresses and Facts about Companies
General Directories Specialized Directories and Resource Books
Directory of Corporate Affiliations Accounting Firms and Practitioners
Dun’s Million Dollar Directory California Manufacturers Register
Standard & Poor’s Register of Corporations,
Directors, and Executives
Directory of Hotel and Motel Systems
Franchise Annual: Handbook and Directory
Thomas Register of American Manufacturers O’Dwyer’s Directory of Public Relations Firms
The Rand McNally Banker’s Directory
Standard Directory of Advertisers (“Red Book”)
Television Factbook
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 441loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 441 12/29/12 6:16 PM12/29/12 6:16 PM
Confirming pages
442 Unit Seven Job Hunting
• Let you know whether or not you’d like the job.
• Give you specific information that you can use to present yourself effectively in your
résumé and application letter.
• Create a good image of you in the mind of the interviewer so he or she thinks well of
you when openings arise.
In an information interview, you might ask the following questions:
• Tell me about the papers on your desk. What are you working on right now?
• How do you spend your typical day?
• Have your duties changed a lot since you first started working here?
• What do you like best about your job? What do you like least?
• What do you think the future holds for this kind of work?
Figure 26.2 Examples of Trade Journals
Advertising Age Discount Store News Nation’s Restaurant News
American Banker Financial Analysts Journal The Practical Accountant
Automotive News Graphic Arts Monthly Software Canada
Aviation Week HR Focus Television/Radio Age
Beverage Industry Internal Auditor Today’s Realtor
Cable Communication
Magazine
International Advertiser
Logging and Sawmilling
Journal
Training & Development
Travel Agent
Canadian Business
Figure 26.3 Comprehensive Web Job Sites Covering the Entire Job Search Process
Archeus WorkSearch www.garywill.com/worksearch
Asia Net www.asia-net.com
Black Collegian Online www.black-collegian.com
CareerBuilder www.careerbuilder.com
College Grad Job Hunter www.collegegrad.com
Fast Company www.fastcompany.com/career/
The Five O’Clock Club www.fiveoclockclub.com
JobHuntersBible.com (Dick Bolles) www.jobhuntersbible.com
JobStar Central jobstar.org
Monster.com content.monster.com
MonsterTrak www.monstertrak.monster.com
Quintessential Careers www.quintcareers.com/index.html
The Riley Guide www.rileyguide.com
The Rockport Institute www.rockportinstitute.com/main.html
Saludos.com www.saludos.com/resume.html
Spherion Career Center www.spherion.com/corporate/careercenter/home.jsp
WetFeet.com www.wetfeet.com/asp/home.asp
Vault vault.com
Site to See
Go to
http://www.jobweb.com
for tips on job searches for
recent college graduates.
Go to
Experts say even as the
economy improves, prospects
in some job fields will not.
These include manufacturing
and construction, the latter of
which accounted for more than
1.6 million jobs lost since 2008.
Secretaries, mail clerks, and
other white-collar support staff
may see their ranks thinned by
technology in the workplace.
Source: Justin Lahart, “Even in a Recovery, Some Jobs
Won’t Return,” The Wall Street
Journal, January 12, 2010,
http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB126325594634725459.
html?mod=WSJ_Careers_
CareerJournal_4 .
Site to See
Go to
http://careerplanning.about .com/cs/occupations/a/ info_interviews.htm
for tips on getting information
interviews.
Go to
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 442loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 442 12/29/12 6:16 PM12/29/12 6:16 PM
Confirming pages
Module 26 Researching Jobs 443
• How did you get this job?
• What courses, activities, or jobs would you recommend to someone who wanted to do
this kind of work?
To set up an information interview, phone or write a letter. If you do write, phone the
following week to set up a specific time.
What is the “hidden job market”? How do I tap into it? LO 26-5
▶ The “hidden market” is composed of jobs that are never advertised.
▶ Referral interviews and prospecting letters can help you find it.
A great many jobs are never advertised—and the number rises the higher up the job ladder
you go. Over 60% of all new jobs come not from responding to an ad but from networking
with personal contacts. 2 Some of these jobs are created especially for a specific person.
These unadvertised jobs are called the hidden job market. Referral interviews, an orga- nized method of networking, offer the most systematic way to tap into these jobs. Schedule
referral interviews to learn about current job opportunities in your field. Sometimes an interview that starts out as an information interview turns into a referral interview.
A referral interview should give you information about the opportunities currently
available in your town in the area you’re interested in, refer you to other people who can
tell you about job opportunities, and enable the interviewer to see that you could make a
contribution to his or her organization. Therefore, the goal of a referral interview is to put
you face-to-face with someone who has the power to hire you: the president of a small
company, the division vice president or branch manager of a big company, the director of
the local office of a state or federal agency.
Start by scheduling interviews with people you know who may know something about
that field—professors, co-workers, neighbors, friends. Call your alumni office to get the
names and phone numbers of alumni who now work where you would like to work. Your
purpose in talking to them is (ostensibly) to get advice about improving your résumé and
about general job-hunting strategy and (really) to get referrals to other people. In fact, go into the interview with the names of people you’d like to talk to. If the interviewee doesn’t
suggest anyone, say, “Do you think it would be a good idea for me to talk to _____ ?”
Then, armed with a referral from someone you know, you call Mr. or Ms. “Big” and say,
“So-and-so suggested I talk with you about job-hunting strategy.” If the person says, “We
aren’t hiring,” you say, “Oh, I’m not asking you for a job. I’d just like some advice from a knowledgeable person about the opportunities in banking [or desktop publishing, or whatever]
in this city.” If this person does not have the power to create a position, you seek more referrals
at the end of this interview. (You can also polish your résumé, if you get good suggestions.) Even when you talk to the person who could create a job for you, you do not ask for a
job. But to give you advice about your résumé, the person has to look at it. When a pow- erful person focuses on your skills, he or she will naturally think about the problems and
needs in that organization. When there’s a match between what you can do and what the
organization needs, that person has the power to create a position for you.
Some business people are cynical about information and referral interviewing. Prepare
as carefully for these interviews as you would for an interview when you know the orga-
nization is hiring. Think in advance of good questions; know something about the general
field or industry; try to learn at least a little bit about the specific company.
Always follow up information and referral interviews with personal thank-you letters.
Use specifics to show that you paid attention during the interview, and enclose a copy of
your revised résumé.
Getting more education
is a good idea for future
opportunities, but some
degrees pay off better than
others. According to Forbes,
Physician’s Assistant is the best
master’s degree to earn, with
a mid-career median pay of
$97,000 and projected growth
of 30% by 2020. Other degrees
on the list include Economics,
Computer Science, and
Occupational Therapist. The
worst master’s degree? Library
and Information Science. The
list was based on salary and
employment outlook. However,
the job that women find the
most satisfying is college
professor, which typically
requires a master’s degree or
higher, and median salaries can
range from $59,000 to $94,000
depending on the field.
Sources: Jacquelyn Smith, “The Best and Worst Master’s Degrees
for Jobs,” Forbes, June 8, 2012,
http://www.forbes.com/sites/
jacquelynsmith/2012/06/08/the-
best-and-worst-masters-degrees-
for-jobs-2/ ; and Jenna Goudreau,
“The Best Jobs for Women in
2012,” Forbes, December 22,
2011, http://www.forbes.com/sites/
jennagoudreau/2011/12/15/best-
jobs-for-women-in-2012-salary-
satisfaction-security-growth/ .
According to Elance, a website
for freelancers, 40% of young
professionals use social media
to get jobs, and according to
LinkUp, a job search engine,
20% use smartphones for job
searches. Free apps include
BusyBee, CareerBliss, and
Real-Time Jobs.
Source: Dan Schawbel, “5 Clever Ways to Get a Job Using Social
Media,” June 19, 2011, http://
mashable.com/2011/06/19/
get-job-using-social-media/ .
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 443loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 443 12/29/12 6:16 PM12/29/12 6:16 PM
Confirming pages
444 Unit Seven Job Hunting
What do I do if I’ve got a major weakness? LO 26-6
▶ Address the employer’s fears, calmly and positively.
Some job hunters face special problems. This section gives advice for six common
problems.
“All My Experience Is in My Family’s Business”
In your résumé, simply list the company you worked for. For a reference, instead of a
family member, list a supervisor, client, or vendor who can talk about your work. Because
the reader may wonder whether “Jim Clarke” is any relation to “Clarke Construction
Company,” be ready to answer interview questions about why you’re looking at other
companies. Prepare an answer that stresses the broader opportunities you seek but doesn’t
criticize your family or the family business.
“I’ve Been Out of the Job Market for a While”
You need to prove to a potential employer that you’re up-to-date and motivated.
To do that,
• Understand how work in your field may have changed. For example, hospital workers now have many more acutely ill patients than they did 10 years ago.
• Be active in professional organizations. Attend meetings; read trade journals. • Learn the computer programs that professionals in your field use. • Find out your prospective employer’s immediate priorities. If you can show you’ll
contribute from day one, you’ll have a much easier sell. But to do that, you need to
know what skills the employer is looking for, what needs the employer has.
• Show how your at-home experience relates to the workplace. Dealing with unpredictable situations, building consensus, listening, raising money, and making
presentations are transferrable skills.
• Create a portfolio of your work —even if it’s for imaginary clients—to demonstrate your expertise.
3
“I Want to Change Fields”
Have a good reason for choosing the field in which you’re looking for work. “I want a
change” or “I need to get out of a bad situation” does not convince an employer that you
know what you’re doing.
Think about how your experience relates to the job you want. Jack is an older-than-
average student who wants to be a pharmaceutical sales representative. He has sold wood-
stoves, served subpoenas, and worked on an oil rig. A chronological résumé makes his
work history look directionless. But a skills résumé (▶▶ p. 452) could focus on persua- sive ability (selling stoves), initiative and persistence (serving subpoenas), and technical
knowledge (courses in biology and chemistry). 4
Learn about the skills needed in the job you want. Learn the buzzwords of the
industry.
“I Was Fired”
First, deal with the emotional baggage. You need to reduce negative feelings to a manage-
able level before you’re ready to job hunt.
Second, try to learn from the experience. You’ll be a much more attractive job candi-
date if you can show that you’ve learned from the experience—whether your lesson is
improved work habits or that you need to choose a job where you can do work you can
point to with pride.
New Jersey is the first U.S. state
to make it illegal to post job
ads that prevent unemployed
workers from applying.
Because unemployment is
not a protected status, legal
experts say, the practice is not
universally banned. Michigan
and New York are considering
similar laws, as is Congress.
Source: Catherine Rampell, “Don’t Apply Unless You Have a Job, Ads
Say,” The Columbus Dispatch,
July 26, 2011, http://www.dispatch.
com/live/content/national_world/
stories/2011/07/26/dont-apply-
unless-you-have-a-job-ads-say
.html?sid=101 .
Workers making $40,000 to
$80,000 annually represent
the majority of labor costs
for many companies. In
difficult economic times, they
may be most vulnerable to
downsizing as companies
look to cut costs. Upgrading
skills and education can
help insulate against the
threat, but some jobs in this
income range are already in
high demand: biomedical
engineers, financial examiners,
and network systems and
data communication analysts.
Among jobs in declining
demand are fabric menders,
semiconductor processors,
and postal mail sorters and
processing machine operators.
Source: Ruth Mantell, “Your Well-Paid, Middle-Class Job Is in
Danger,” June 16, 2011, http://
finance.yahoo.com/career-work/
article/112950/middle-class-jobs-
danger-marketwatch .
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 444loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 444 12/29/12 6:17 PM12/29/12 6:17 PM
Confirming pages
Module 26 Researching Jobs 445
Third, suggests Phil Elder, an interviewer for an insurance company, call the person
who fired you and say something like this: “Look, I know you weren’t pleased with the job
I did at _____ . I’m applying for a job at _____ now and the personnel director may call
you to ask about me. Would you be willing to give me the chance to get this job so that I
can try to do things right this time?” All but the hardest of heart, says Elder, will give you
one more chance. You won’t get a glowing reference, but neither will the statement be so
damning that no one is willing to hire you. 5
“I Don’t Have Any Experience”
If you have six months or a year before you start to job hunt, you can get experience in
several ways:
• Take a fast-food job—and keep it. If you do well, you’ll probably be promoted to a supervisor within a year. Use every opportunity to learn about the management and
financial aspects of the business.
• Join a volunteer organization that interests you. If you work hard, you’ll quickly get an opportunity to do more: manage a budget, write fund-raising materials, and supervise
other volunteers.
• Freelance. Design brochures, create web pages, do tax returns for small businesses. Use your skills—for free, if you have to at first.
• Write. Create a portfolio of ads, instructions, or whatever documents are relevant for the field you want to enter. Ask a professional—an instructor, a local business person,
someone from a professional organization—to critique them. Volunteer your services to
local fundraising organizations and small businesses.
Getting experience is particularly important for students with good grades. Pick
something where you interact with other people so you can show you can work well in
an organization.
If you’re in the job market now, think carefully about what you’ve really done.
Write sentences using the action verbs in Figure 27.6. Think about what you’ve done
in courses, in volunteer work, in unpaid activities. Especially focus on skills in prob-
lem solving, critical thinking, teamwork, and communication. Solving a problem for a
hypothetical firm in an accounting class, thinking critically about a report problem in
business communication, working with a group in a marketing class, and communicat-
ing with people at the senior center where you volunteer are experience, even if no one
paid you.
If you’re not actually looking for a job but just need to create a résumé for this course,
ask your instructor whether you may assume that you’re graduating and add the things you
hope to do between now and that time.
The 36.9 million Americans ages
55 to 64 have an unemployment
rate of 6.6% and a net worth
of $162,000. By comparison,
the 42.5 million people ages
20 to 29 have a 12.3%
unemployment rate and $294
billion in combined student
loan debt. Experts disagree on
which group needs help most
in a bad economy. While older
Americans may have a lower
unemployment rate and higher
net worth, younger workers
may have fewer financial
commitments and more time to
recoup. In either case, workers
are more likely to be competing
against someone in their age
bracket for jobs.
Source: Matthew Phillips, “Boomers and Millennials: Who’s
Got It Worse in the Workplace?”
Bloomberg Businessweek, May 22,
2012, http://www.businessweek.
com/articles/2012-05-22/boomers-
and-millennials-whos-got-it-worse-
in-the-workplace .
To reach your career goals, define them clearly, understand your strengths, and find information about employers.
ZITS © ZITS Partnership King Features Syndicate.
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 445loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 445 12/29/12 6:17 PM12/29/12 6:17 PM
Confirming pages
446 Unit Seven Job Hunting
“I’m a Lot Older than They Want”
A survey of 2,500 college students and new graduates found that 78% plan to work for
their first employers for three years or fewer. 6 You’re going to be working at least that
long. The employer’s real fear is not that you’ll retire in just a year but that you won’t
be flexible, up-to-date, or willing to be supervised by someone younger. To counter
these fears,
• Keep up-to-date. Read trade journals; attend professional meetings. • Learn the computer programs your field uses. Refer to technology in the résumé,
job letter, and interview: “Yes, I saw the specifications for your new product on your
website.”
• Work with younger people, in classroom teams, in volunteer work, or on the job. Be able to point to specific cases where you’ve learned from young people and worked
well with them.
• Use positive emphasis (◀◀ p. 102). Talk about your ability to relate to older customers (who have so much disposable income), the valuable perspective you bring. Focus on
fairly recent events, not ones from 20 years ago.
• Show energy and enthusiasm to counter the stereotype that older people are tired and ill.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Know yourself before you job hunt. (LO 26-1) • What achievements have given you the most satisfaction?
• Would you prefer deadlines or a flexible schedule?
• Are you willing to “pay your dues” before being promoted?
• Are you willing to take work home?
• How important is money to you?
• Also know (LO 26-2) • What the job itself involves.
• The name and address of the person who will receive your
application letter.
• What the organization does and at least four or five facts
about it.
• Use directories, annual reports, recruiting literature, business
periodicals, trade journals, and web pages to get information
about employers and jobs to use in your letter. (LO 26-2) • When choosing whether to stay at a job or leave, consider these
sorts of questions: (LO 26-3) • Does your boss like you and advocate for you?
• Is your boss doing well?
• Have you been promoted in the last two years?
• Are your pension plan and other benefits vested and
growing?
• Is the company doing well?
• Are you getting better-than-average raises?
• Has your boss within the past year mentioned that you are
valued?
• In an information interview, you talk to someone who works in the area you hope to enter to find out about the job and the
best way to prepare to enter the field. You do not ask for the job.
(LO 26-4) • In an information interview, you can ask these sorts of ques-
tions: (LO 26-4) • What are you working on right now?
• How do you spend your typical day?
• What do you like best about your job?
• How did you get this job?
• What courses, activities, or jobs would you recommend to
someone who wants to do this kind of work?
• Information and referral interviews can help you tap into the
hidden job market —jobs that are not advertised. In an infor- mation interview you find out what the day-to-day work involves and how you can best prepare to enter that field.
Referral interviews are interviews you schedule to learn about current job opportunities in your field. (LO 26-5)
• If you have a major weakness, brainstorm a way to address the
employer’s fears, calmly and positively. (LO 26-6)
Instant Replay
The Hidden Job Market
and Referral Interviews
Unadvertised jobs are
called the hidden job market. Referral interviews, an organized method of
networking, offer the most
systematic way to tap into
these jobs. Schedule referral interviews to learn about current job opportunities in
your field.
I R
The Hidden
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 446loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 446 12/29/12 6:17 PM12/29/12 6:17 PM
Confirming pages
Module 26 Researching Jobs 447
Assignments for Module 26
26.1 What should you know about yourself before you apply for jobs? (LO 26-1)
26.2 What information should you try to learn about a company? (LO 26-2)
26.3 What is an information interview? (LO 26-4)
26.4 What is the hidden job market? (LO 26-5)
Questions for Comprehension
26.5 Why is it desirable to start thinking about jobs months—even years—before you’ll actually be on the market? (LO 26-1)
26.6 Why is it important to research the companies you want to apply to? (LO 26-2)
26.7 What is your biggest weakness as you prepare to job hunt? How could you minimize it? (LO 26-6)
Questions for Critical Thinking
26.8 Evaluating Career Websites * (LO 26-2)
Evaluate three or more websites for job hunters, consider-
ing the following questions:
• Is the site easy to navigate?
• Is it visually attractive?
• Are any ads unobtrusive?
• Is its advice good?
• Does it let job hunters specify who may not see their posted résumés (e.g., the current employer)?
• Does it have any features that you don’t find in other
career websites?
*Inspired by a problem written by Gary Kohut, Univer-
sity of North Carolina at Charlotte.
Exercises and Problems
Write to a friend who is already in the workforce, asking
about one or more of the following topics:
• Are any jobs in your field available in your friend’s orga-
nization? If so, what?
• If a job is available, can your friend provide information
beyond the job listing that will help you write a more
detailed, persuasive letter? (Specify the kind of informa-
tion you’d like to have.)
• Can your friend suggest people in other organizations
who might be useful to you in your job search? (Specify
any organizations in which you’re especially interested.)
26.9 Networking (LO 26-2)
Use six recent issues of a trade journal to report on three
to five trends, developments, or issues that are important in
an industry.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your findings with a small group of other students.
b. Summarize your findings in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present your findings to the class.
d. E-mail your findings to the other members of the class.
e. Join with a small group of other students to write a
report summarizing the results of this research.
26.10 Gathering Information about an Industry (LO 26-2 to LO 26-4)
Gather printed information about a specific organization,
using several of the following methods:
• Check the company’s website.
• Read the company’s annual report.
• Pick up relevant information at the Chamber of Commerce.
• Read articles in trade publications and The Wall Street Journal or The Financial Post that mention the organiza- tion (check the indexes).
• Get the names and addresses of its officers (from a direc-
tory or from the web).
• Read recruiting literature provided by the company.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your findings with a small group of other students.
b. Summarize your findings in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present your findings orally to the class.
d. E-mail your findings to the other members of the class.
e. Join with a small group of other students to write a
report summarizing the results of this research.
26.11 Gathering Information about a Specific Organization (LO 26-2 to LO 26-4)
Interview someone working in a field you’re interested in.
Use the questions listed in the module or the shorter list here:
• How did you get started in this field?
• What do you like about your job?
26.12 Conducting an Information Interview (LO 26-4)
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 447loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 447 12/29/12 6:17 PM12/29/12 6:17 PM
Confirming pages
448 Unit Seven Job Hunting
• What do you dislike about your job?
• Can you give me names of three other people who could
also give me information about this job?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share the results of your interview with a small group of
other students.
b. Write up your interview in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present the results of your interview orally to the class.
d. E-mail a summary of your interview to other members
of your class.
e. Write to the interviewee thanking him or her for taking
the time to talk to you.
Details are especially important in reader benefits (◀◀ Module 8), reports, résumés, and job application and sales letters. Customers
or potential employers look for specific details to help them make
decisions, such as what makes your product better than the com-
petition’s or how your experience would help the reader. Here’s an
example:
Using Details
Polishing Your Prose
I can bring more than ten years of advertising experience to Duncan, Fitzgerald, and Locke, the Midwest
leader in print and broadcast advertising. My experience includes five years of broadcast sales in Chicago,
where I generated more than $19 million in revenue, as well as three years with Alvion and Daye, the leading
outdoor advertising company in Indianapolis. For the first four years of my career, I also wrote advertising
copy, including hundreds of local and regional radio spots for such diverse products as cookies, cat food,
fishing tackle, and children’s toys. I also wrote print pieces, including the entire 15-month campaign for
Indiana-based “Uncle Bill’s Electronics Bazaar,” which increased sales by nearly 37% during that period.
Reader Benefits
What features or experiences make your product or service unique?
Useful? Cost-effective?
Weak: With the Stereobooster, your car will sound great.
Better: The Stereobooster safely gives your car audio system a full 30 watts per channel of sheer sound excitement,
double that of other systems on the market—all for
under $50.
The Five Senses
Describe sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Some sensations are so
powerful that they immediately conjure up thoughts or emotions—
the smell of fresh coffee, the sound of ocean waves, the feeling of
sunlight against the skin.
Concrete Nouns and Verbs
Concrete nouns and verbs are better than more general nouns
and verbs combined with adjectives and adverbs. For instance,
manager and 15 months are more concrete than the person in charge or a while. Concrete words make meaning clear and vivid:
Weak: At my last job, I typed stuff.
Better: As a clerk typist II until July for Hughes and Associates, I typed hundreds of memos, letters, and reports.
Increase your vocabulary by reading a variety of materials.
Keep a dictionary and thesaurus handy. Do crossword puzzles or
computer word games to practice what you know.
Adjectives and Adverbs that Count
Omit or replace vague or overused adjectives and adverbs: some, very, many, a lot, kind/sort of, partly, eventually. Increasingly, novice writers are using so as an adjective, as in “He was so happy about the promotion.” Exactly how happy is this?
Conversational English, Not Jargon or Obscure Words
In general, choose the more conversational option over jargon or
obscure words: exit, typical, or second to last rather than egress, quintessential, or penultimate.
Exercises
Add details to the following sentences.
1. We like Ann.
2. Ravi speaks several languages.
3. You should hire me for the job.
4. The customer service is really great.
5. Our Electricity Miser is a very good product.
6. I recommend Esteban for the job because he is so talented.
7. Bailey said she kind of expects us to be at the egress eventually.
8. The penultimate candidate for the position is the very highly
qualified Charlotte Lewis.
9. Munahil told us she is so excited about the many job opportu-
nities with the Oliver Kane Company.
10. By the time a person gets enough experience to be the quintes-
sential employee, it is very likely that he or she will eventually
realize that a lot of success depends on attitude.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 448loc03261_ch26_437-448.indd 448 12/29/12 6:17 PM12/29/12 6:17 PM
Confirming pages
449
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Résumés
A résumé is a persuasive summary of your qualifications for employment. If you’re in the job
market, having a résumé makes you look well organized and prepared. When you’re employed,
having an up-to-date résumé makes it easier to take advantage of opportunities that may come up for
an even better job. If you’re several years away from job hunting, preparing a résumé now will make you
more conscious of what to do in the next two or three years to make yourself an attractive candidate.
Writing a résumé is also an ego-building experience: the person who looks so good on paper is you!
Writing a résumé is not an exact science. If your skills are in great demand, you can violate every
guideline here and still get a good job. But when you must compete against many applicants, these
guidelines will help you look as good on paper as you are in person.
Know, too, that technology is changing how résumés look and are to be submitted. The traditional
paper résumé remains the standard, but many companies now want résumés submitted electroni-
cally as an e-mail attachment. Some may want a paper résumé but in scannable form. This module
provides advice on all three and more. Do your research and review job postings carefully to see what
format is to be used. When in doubt, stick to traditional methods.
LO 27-1 Demonstrate reasons for employers to read your résumé.
LO 27-2 Apply principles for résumé design with computers.
LO 27-3 Select résumés for different situations.
LO 27-4 Contrast differences among résumé features.
LO 27-5 Compare similarities among résumé features.
LO 27-6 Apply principles for appropriate résumé length.
LO 27-7 Apply principles for electronic résumé design.
LO 27-8 Apply principles for video résumé design.
Module 27 details how to craft attractive, appropriate, and successful résumés. After completing the
module, you should be able to
27
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 449loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 449 1/10/13 3:36 PM1/10/13 3:36 PM
Confirming pages
450 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Figure 27.1 lists the activities required to create a good résumé.
All job communications must be tailored to your unique qualifications. Adopt the word-
ing or layout of an example if it’s relevant to your own situation, but don’t be locked into
the forms in this book. You’ve got different strengths; your résumé will be different, too.
How can I encourage the employer to pay attention to my résumé? LO 27-1
▶ Show how your qualifications fit the job and the company.
Your résumé can be screened in two ways. If people do the reading, the employer will
skim the résumés quickly, dividing the documents into two piles: “reject” and “maybe.”
In the first round, each résumé may get as little as 2.9 seconds of the reader’s attention.
Then the reader goes through the “maybe” pile again, weeding out more documents. If
there are a lot of résumés (and some companies get 2,000 résumés a week), résumés may
get only 10 to 30 seconds in this stage. After the initial pile has been culled to one-half or
one-hundredth of the initial pile, the remaining documents will be read more carefully to
choose the people who are invited for interviews.
Alternatively, your résumé may be electronically scanned into a job-applicant tracking
system. Then the first set of cuts will be done by computer. The employer specifies the
keywords from the job description, listing the knowledge, skills, and abilities that the ideal
applicant would have. Sometimes personal characteristics (e.g., hard worker, good writer, willing to travel ) may also be included. The employer receives the résumés that match the keywords, arranged with the most “hits” first. Then the employer decides who will be
invited for interviews.
Figure 27.1 Allocating Time in Writing Résumé (Your time may vary.)
Chronological résumé with summary of qualifications. Total time: 12 hours
Planning
Examine sample résumés to get a sense of options.
Collect details of job titles and duties, employment dates.
Brainstorm accomplishments using the action verbs in Figure 27.6
and the prompts in Figure 29.4.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1).
Think about document design (◀◀ Module 5).
Organize the résumé.
4 hours
Writing
Draft the résumé.
4 hours
Revising
Reread draft.
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions and checklist for
résumés (Figure 27.10).
Revise draft.
Ask for feedback.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Duplicate.
4 hours
College student Vanessa
Hojda became an Internet
sensation when she revealed
she accidentally sent in place
of her résumé a terrified photo
of actor Nicolas Cage. While
it’s possible to recover from
such errors, always check to
make sure messages and their
attachments are correct
Source: Leslie Kwoh, “Nic Cage Photo: No Substitute for Résumé,”
The Wall Street Journal, July 11,
2012, http://blogs.wsj.com/
atwork/2012/07/11/terrifying-
photo-of-nicolas-cage- is-no-
substitute-for-a-resume/?
KEYWORDS 5 job 1 application .
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 450loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 450 1/10/13 3:36 PM1/10/13 3:36 PM
Confirming pages
451
Even if you pay someone else to produce your résumé, you must specify the exact layout.
Print your résumé on a laser printer on high-quality 8½-by-
11-inch paper (never legal size). White paper is standard; a very
pale color is also acceptable.
Play with Layout and Design
Experiment with layout, fonts, and spacing to get an attractive
résumé. Consider creating a letterhead that you use for both your
résumé and your application letter. (See Figures 27.7 and 28.5.)
Use enough white space to make your résumé easy to read
but not so much that you look as if you’re padding. Center your
name as the title of the document in 14-point (or bigger) type.
Use 12-point for headings. To get more on a page, use 11-point
type for the text. The default margins and tab settings probably
are too big. Especially if you use the indented format, try a 0.8-
inch left margin. Set tab settings at 0.3 inch rather than the stan-
dard 0.5 inch. Try rules (thin lines) or borders to see if you like
their look.
Avoid Templates
Some services fit every résumé into a single template. Even if
you have lots of volunteer work, you have to fit it all into an
inch-high space. But if you have no volunteer work, you still
have that inch—glaringly empty. Using a standard template
defeats the purpose of a good résumé: to make you look as good
as possible.
Readers also may have seen the template many times before,
making your résumé seem generic. Templates that come with
word processors are especially familiar to readers.
If a placement service requires you to use a template, do so,
but also create another résumé that looks good. Take a copy to
each interview. Tell the interviewer, “I thought you might like
to know a little more about me.”
Proofread
Employers assume that the résumé represents your best
work. Proofread carefully to be sure the document is perfect.
Especially check
• Spelling of your college, your employers, and your
references.
• Parallelism (◀◀ p. 74). • Consistency (spell out all state names or use Postal Service
abbreviations for all).
• Dates.
• Phone numbers, e-mail addresses, and URLs.
Building a Critical Skill
Using a Computer to Create Résumés LO 27-2
You need to have both a paper résumé that will look good to the human eye and a scan-
nable résumé that will serve you well in a job-applicant tracking system. To increase the
chances that a human being will pay attention to your résumé,
• Do more than just list what you’ve done. Show how it helped the organization. If
possible, quantify: increased sales 10%, saved the company $13,000, supervised five people.
• Emphasize achievements that
• Are most relevant to the position for which you’re applying.
• Show your superiority to other applicants.
• Are recent.
• Use the jargon and buzzwords of the industry and the organization.
• Include skills that are helpful in almost every job: ability to use computer programs, to
write and speak well, to identify and solve problems, to work with others, to speak a
second language.
• Design one résumé to appeal to the human eye and the second to be easily processed by
an electronic scanner.
• Consider using a career objective with the employer’s name.
These guidelines mean that you may need to produce several different résumés. But the
more you adapt your résumé to a specific employer, the more likely it is that you will get
a job with that employer.
According to a survey of 2,298
hiring managers, recent résumé
gaffes included listing “phishing”
as a hobby, specifying that the
résumé could be sung to the
tune of TV’s “The Brady Bunch,”
and stating the candidate
was “detail-oriented,” an error
in addition to spelling the
company’s name incorrectly. “To
make dough” was one résumé’s
Career Objective statement.
Source: “CareerBuilder Releases Study of Most Outrageous Résumé
Mistakes and Creative Techniques
that Worked,” July 11, 2012, http://
www.careerbuilder.com/share/
aboutus/pressreleasesdetail.aspx?
id 5 pr707&sd 5 7/11/2012&ed 5
07/11/2012 .
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 451loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 451 1/10/13 3:36 PM1/10/13 3:36 PM
Confirming pages
452 Unit Seven Job Hunting
What kind of résumé should I use? LO 27-3
c Choose the kind that makes you look best.
Two basic kinds of résumés exist: chronological and skills. Figures 27.2 and 27.3 show
chronological and skills résumés for the same candidate. A chronological résumé summa- rizes what you did in a timeline (starting with the most recent events and going backward
in reverse chronology ). It emphasizes degrees, job titles, and dates. It is the traditional résumé format. Figure 27.4 shows another chronological résumé. Use a chronological
résumé when your education and experience show
• A logical preparation for the position for which you’re applying.
• A steady progression leading to the present.
A skills résumé emphasizes the skills you’ve used, rather than the job in which or the date when you used them. Figures 27.3 , 27.5 , and 27.7 show skills résumés. Use a skills
résumé when
• Your education and experience are not the usual route to the position for which you’re
applying.
• You’re changing fields.
• You want to combine experience from paid jobs, activities or volunteer work,
and courses to show the extent of your experience in administration, finance,
speaking, and so forth.
• Your recent work history may create the wrong impression (e.g., it has gaps, shows a
demotion, shows job-hopping, etc.).
Both kinds of résumés omit I and use sentence fragments punctuated as complete sen- tences. Complete sentences are acceptable if they are the briefest way to present informa-
tion. Me and my are acceptable if they are unavoidable or if using them reduces wordiness. Both kinds of résumés can use bullet points. Both use details.
How do the two résumés differ? LO 27-4
▶ They handle Experience, Activities, and Volunteer Work differently.
A chronological résumé, like the one in Figure 27.4 , uses separate categories for Experi-
ence, Activities, and Volunteer Work. Experience is organized by jobs, with the most recent
job first. A skills résumé, like the ones in Figures 27.3 , 27.5 , and 27.7 , replaces these three
categories with headings of the skills needed for the job for which the job hunter is apply-
ing. Within each skill, items are listed in order of importance, combining paid and unpaid
work (in classes, activities, and community groups). An Employment History section lists
job titles, employers, city, state (no zip code), and dates.
Chronological Résumés
In a chronological résumé, include the following information for each job: position or
job title, organization, city and state (no zip code), dates of employment, and other
details, such as full- or part-time status, job duties, special responsibilities or the fact that
you started at an entry-level position and were promoted. Include unpaid jobs and self-
employment if they provided relevant skills (e.g., supervising people, budgeting, planning,
persuading).
Normally, go back as far as the summer after high school. Include earlier jobs if you
started working someplace before graduating from high school but continued working
there after graduation. However, give minimal detail about high school jobs. If you worked
full-time after high school, make that clear.
Résumé is a French word
meaning summary. To create
the é ( e with an acute accent),
pull down the “Insert” menu
to “Symbol.” Never use
an apostrophe to replace
the accent. However, it is
acceptable to type resume
without the accent marks.
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 452loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 452 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 453
Figure 27.2 A Community College Student’s Chronological Résumé
Richard A. Douglass
8933 Arbor Village Drive
Columbus, OH 43214
614-555-6437
Construction Education Associate of Science Degree in Construction Management, December 2012, Columbus State Community College (Columbus, OH). Certificate in Residential Construction Management.
Construction and Construction Management Experience
Construction Management Intern, Ryland Homes, Columbus, OH, Summer 2011. • Calculated material, labor, and equipment needed for projects. • Analyzed costs and productivity. • Monitored safety and quality assurance.
Lead Carpenter, Austen Design & Construction, Columbus, OH, 2008– 10. Began working with Austen as a subcontractor; hired after 3 months as a subcontractor. Projects ranged from 300 sq. ft. additions and remodeling to 6,000 sq. ft. additions and remodeling. As lead carpenter, • Trained 4 employees to run all aspects of remodeling. • Supervised all aspects of residential foundation, exterior siding and trim, and all interiors. • Designed and built custom interior trims.
Carpenter, Shook’s General Services, Columbus, OH, 2007– 09. Built a house in Mansfield, OH.
Subcontractor to Certified Testing and Plumbing, Cupertino, CA, 2003– 07. Tested water systems and installed backflow valves, relief pressure valves, and fire sprinkler systems for industrial clients, including Lockheed, Apple Computer, and San Jose State University.
Carpenter, Brown and Brown, Columbus, OH, 2000– 2003. Traveled throughout Ohio, Indiana, New York, and Pennsylvania supervising and building Friendly Ice Cream buildings.
Carpenter, Clausen Builders, Columbus, OH, 1998– 99. • Built the first geothermal house in the Columbus area.
References
Robert Fosnough, Vice President, Ryland Homes, Columbus, OH [email protected] 614-555-0030 Tom Sotak, Department of Construction Sciences, Columbus State Community College, Columbus, OH [email protected] 614-555-3298 Diana Grogan, Owner, Austen Design & Construction, Columbus, OH [email protected] 614-555-7045
The top margin should be " to 1 ".34
1 2
Education is normally the first category when you’re earning a degree.
Keep side margins fairly small – no more than 1" – to visually fill
the page.
Chronological résumés emphasize degrees, dates, and job titles.
14-point type
10-point
12-point Start with the most recent
job and go backward.
11-point
Use past tense for jobs that are over. Omit “ I ”; use fragments.
Change the default tab settings.
Use details whenever they help you. Numbers
are usually good.
Use white space to create
good visual impact.
Keep jobs as an adult from more than
10 years ago unless employers
don’t want them.
Don’t repeat hundred when century is th e same.
If you list references, include at least three. Include at
least one employer and one instructor.
Give e–mail addresses and phone numbe rs so employers
can contact your references. The bottom margin should be
" to 1 ".3 4
1 4
1"
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 453loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 453 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
454 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Richard A. Douglass
8933 Arbor Village Drive
Columbus, OH 43214
614-555-6437
Skills in Construction Management
• Analyze and interpret all types of construction drawings and documents. • Calculate material, labor, and equipment needed for a project. • Use Gantt bar charts to organize complex construction projects. • Analyze costs and productivity. • Monitor safety and quality assurance.
Experience with Construction Supplies and Equipment • Sheet Goods. Well-versed in materials for walls and siding, tile backing, and flooring– ceramic, vinyl, linoleum, hardwood floors.
• Paint. Extensive experience with paints, stains, varnishes, lacquers for interior and exterior surfaces, residential and commercial building. Experience with wallpaper and textures; limited experience with faux finishes.
• Interior Trim. Experience with all kinds of interior trim, specializing in window design, crown moldings, and fine interior trim.
• Concrete. Trouble-shooting residential and commercial problems; improving drainage.
• Plumbing Supplies. Thorough experience with backflow valves, pressure relief valves, and fire sprinkler systems.
• Excavation. Extensive experience in precision excavating using backhoe and tractors for residential and industrial remodeling and construction.
Construction Work Experience
Nine years of experience as a lead carpenter, crew foreman, and subcontractor. Notable projects include • Remodeling projects from 300 to 6,000 sq. ft. • Building Friendly Ice Cream stores in Ohio, Indiana, New York, and Pennsylvania. • Testing water systems and installing backflow valves, relief pressure valves, and fire sprinkler systems for industrial clients including Lockheed, Apple Computer, and San Jose State University.
• Building the first geothermal house in the Columbus area.
Construction Education
Associate of Science Degree in Construction Management, December 2012, Columbus State Community College (Columbus, OH). Certificate in Residential Construction Management.
Skills résumés emphasize skills, knowledge, and abilities.
Combine experiences from classes, jobs, and volunteer work.
Rick listed his cell phone number because that number was the best way to reach him.
Here, he combines skills he’s learned in class projects and on the job.
Omit “I.”
Make items in list parallel.
Use bold and white space to emphasize points.
Good details
Skills résumés are often longer than chronological résumés. To keep the résumé
to one page, Rick omits Work History and References.
Details and numbers would make this section stronger.
Figure 27.3 A Community College Student’s Skills Résumé
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 454loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 454 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 455
Campus Address 1636 Highland Street Philadelphia, PA 19340 (215) 555-5718 [email protected] www.linkedin.com/in/jerryajackson
Permanent Address 48 East Mulberry Huntington, NY 11746 (516) 555-7793
Jerry A. Jackson
• High energy. Played sports during two years of college. Started two businesses. • Sales experience. Sold both clothing and investments successfully. • Presentation skills. In individual and group presentations, spoke to groups ranging from 2 to 75 people. Gave informative, persuasive, and inspirational talks. • Financial experience. Knowledgeable about stocks and bonds, especially energy and telecommunication companies. • Computer experience. Microsoft Word, Excel, SPSS, PowerPoint, and Dreamweaver. Experience creating web pages.
Summary of Qualifications
Education A.A.S. in Finance, May 2013, Community College of Philadelphia, Philadelphia, PA “B” Average
Sports Experience CAAD (Colonial Athletes Against Drugs) Intramural Volleyball Team (Division Champions, Winter 2012) Two-year Varsity Letterman, Community College of Philadelphia, Philadelphia, PA Men's NCAA Division II Basketball
Experience
Financial Sales Representative, Primerica Company, Philadelphia, PA, February 2008-present. • Work with clients to plan investment strategies to meet family and retirement goals. • Research and recommend specific investments.
Entrepreneur, Huntington, NY, and Philadelphia, PA, September 2007-January 2009. • Created a saleable product, secured financial backing, found a manufacturer, supervised production, and sold product—12 dozen T-shirts at $5.25 each—to help pay for college.
Landscape Maintenance Supervisor, Huntington, NY, Summers 2001– 07. • Formed a company to cut lawns, put up fences, fertilize, garden, and paint houses. • Hired, fired, trained, motivated, and paid friends to complete jobs.
Collector and Repair Worker, ACN, Inc., Huntington, NY, Summers 2001– 05. • Collected and counted up to $10,000 a day in New York metro area. • Worked with technicians troubleshooting and repairing electronic and coin mechanisms of video and pinball games, cigarette machines, and jukeboxes.
Vary font sizes. The name is in
18-point, the main headings in
12-point, and the text in 11-point
type.
When you have two addresses,
set them side by side to balance the page.
List 3-7 qualifications. Use keywords.
If you have a professional social network ing page, include its URL.
You can customize Linkedln addresses a t that site.
Quantify when possible.
Specify computer programs you have us ed.
(The team did poorly, so he omits its ranking.)
Use present tense for work you do now.
Ways to handle self-employment
Specify large sums of money.
Use past tense for jobs that are over.
1 2
Figure 27.4 A Chronological Résumé for a Graduate Entering the Job Market
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 455loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 455 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
456 Unit Seven Job Hunting
A border creates visual variety.
Skills résumé allows her to combine experience from classes and life.
A position of emphasis
Emphasizing a portfolio at LinkedIn encourages employers
to visit her page.
Reverse chronology
Allyson chooses unusual bullets rather than the
standard dots or squares. In a résumé
for an ad agency, the bullets work.
She varies the usual “Summary of Qualifications” to make it specific to the job. This really is Allyson’s philosophy–
and it’s one an agency will appreciate.
Details, wording
demonstrate h er ability.
Allyson Karnes
195 W. Ninth Street 6782 Fenwick Drive Columbus, OH 43210 Solon, OH 44121 (614) 555-3498 (216) 555-6182 [email protected]
Qualifications for Writing Creative Ads that Make People Remember the Product
Created headlines and print ads for a variety of audiences. Persuaded team members, business owners, and lawyers to accept my ideas. Self-starter who sees a project through from start to finish.
Education
B.A. in Advertising, June 2012, The Ohio State University, Columbus, OH Core courses: Copywriting, promotional strategies, magazine writing, graphics, media planning Harvard University Writing Program, Summer 2008, Boston, MA
Experience Creating Ads
Led the team that developed the winning promotional strategy for Max & Erma’s Restaurants. Developed idea for theme for a year’s campaign of ads including Facebook and Twitter promotions. Wrote copy for radio spots, magazine ads, and billboards. One billboard ad had the headline “Multiple
Choice” and boxes for burgers, chicken, and salads–with all the boxes checked. Presented creative strategy to Max & Erma’s CEO and the Head of Advertising. Strategy won first place from among 17 proposals. Wrote more than 15 ads for Copywriting class, including Ad for cordless phone: “Isn’t It Time to Cut the Cord?” Slogan for Ohio University’s Springfest Jamboree: “In Short, It Jams” Billboard for Columbus Boys’ School: “Who Said It's Lonely at the Top?”
Created ads and revised menu for The Locker Room (restaurant).
Other Writing Experience Wrote “Commuter Flights” (humor). Tweeted dozens of promotions for North Market and Worthington Farmers Market. Created more than 30 magazine articles as part of courses at Harvard University and Ohio State. Researched and wrote legal briefs as part of course at Harvard. Summarized research on $7 million medical malpractice case for Garson and Associates.
Employment History
2008–12 Child care and house management, Worthington, OH. Part-time daily during school year.
Summer Maid, Harvard Student Agency, Boston, MA. Part-time while attending Harvard 2008 University Writing Program. Summers Law Clerk, Garson and Associates, Cleveland, OH. Did independent case research 2005– 07 used by the firm to win $7 million malpractice out-of-court settlement for the client.
Portfolio available at www.linkedin.com/in/allysonkarnes
Permanent and campus addresses help readers
to locate you.
Figure 27.5 A Skills Résumé for a Graduate Entering the Job Market
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 456loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 456 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 457
Some employment experts suggest omitting jobs as an adult from more than 10 years
ago, but unless you know that’s what employers want, keep them. Many employers want to see continuity in your experiences, especially for upper-level jobs.
If as an undergraduate you’ve earned a substantial portion of your college expenses,
say so in a separate sentence either under Experience or in the section on personal data.
(Graduate students are expected to support themselves.)
Use minimal detail about low-level jobs, perhaps not even listing each job separately.
Use details when they help you. Tell how many people you trained or supervised, how
much money you budgeted or raised. Describe the aspects of the job you did.
Too vague: Sales Manager, The Daily Collegian, University Park, PA, 2008–10. Supervised staff; promoted ad sales.
Good details: Sales Manager, The Daily Collegian, University Park, PA, 2008–10. Supervised 22-member sales staff; helped recruit, interview, and select staff; assigned duties
and scheduled work; recommended best performer for promotion. Motivated staff
to increase paid ad inches 10% over previous year’s sales.
Verbs or gerunds (the -ing form of verbs) create a more dynamic image of you than do nouns, so use them on résumés that will be read by people. (Rules for scannable résumés to
be read by computers come later in this module.) In the following revisions, nouns, verbs,
and gerunds are in bold type.
Nouns: Chair, Income Tax Assistance Committee, Winnipeg, MB, 2007–08. Responsibili- ties: recruitment of volunteers; flyer design, writing, and distribution for pro- motion of program; speeches to various community groups and nursing homes to advertise the service.
Verbs: Chair, Income Tax Assistance Committee, Winnipeg, MB, 2007–08. Recruited volunteers for the program. Designed, wrote, and distributed a flyer to promote the program; spoke to various community groups and nursing homes to advertise the service.
Gerunds: Chair, Income Tax Assistance Committee, Winnipeg, MB, 2007–08. Responsi- bilities included recruiting volunteers for the program; designing, writing, and distributing a flyer to promote the program; and speaking to various community groups and nursing homes to advertise the service.
Note that the items in the list must be in parallel structure (◀◀ p. 74). Figure 27.6 lists action verbs that work well in résumés.
Instant Replay
Chronological Résumés
A chronological résumé summarizes what you did
in a timeline (starting with
the most recent events,
and going backward in
reverse chronology ). Use a chronological résumé when
your education and experience
• Are a logical preparation for
the position for which you’re
applying.
• Show a steady progression
leading to the present.
I R
Chronologic
According to IBM’s Ed Struzik,
as much as 90% of large
companies use computerized
applicant-tracking systems to
weed out unwanted résumés.
Starbucks, which received
7.6 million applications in
12 months, and Procter &
Gamble, which got nearly a
million applications for 2,000
job openings, both use such
systems. To get past them,
experts advise mimicking key
words in job descriptions,
visiting the company’s website
to better understand its culture,
keeping the résumé format
simple and streamlined, and
not lying or exaggerating your
claims. If you went to a college
with a strong reputation—even
only to take a continuing
education class—be sure to
include it.
Source: Lauren Weber, “Your Résumé Vs. Oblivion,” The Wall
Street Journal, January 24, 2012,
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100
014240529702046242045771789
41034941330.html .
These jobs paid 40% of my college expenses.
Paid for 65% of expenses with jobs, scholarships, and loans.
1999–2005 Full-time homemaker.
2007–13 Various construction jobs to support family.
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 457loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 457 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
458 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Skills Résumés
Skills résumés use as headings the skills used in or the aspects of the job you are applying for, rather than the title or the dates of the jobs you’ve held (as in a chronological résumé).
For entries under each skill, combine experience from paid jobs, unpaid work, classes,
activities, and community service.
Use headings that reflect the jargon of the job for which you’re applying: logistics rather than planning for a technical job; procurement rather than purchasing for a civil- ian job with the military. Figure 27.7 shows a skills résumé for someone who is changing
fields. Marcella suggests that she already knows a lot about the field she hopes to enter by
using its jargon for the headings.
Figure 27.6 Action Verbs for Résumés
analyzed
budgeted
built
chaired
coached
collected
conducted
coordinated
counseled
created
demonstrated
designed
developed
directed
earned
edited
established
examined
evaluated
helped
hired
improved
increased
interviewed
introduced
investigated
led
managed
motivated
negotiated
observed
organized
persuaded
planned
presented
produced
recruited
reported
researched
reviewed
revised
saved
scheduled
simplified
sold
solved
spoke
started
supervised
trained
translated
wrote
Good résumés provide accurate details about what you’ve done, rather than exaggerate.
Reprinted with permission of CartoonStock.com , www.
cartoonstock.com .
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 458loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 458 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 459
Figure 27.7 A Skills Résumé for Someone Changing Job Fields
Marcella G. Cope 370 Monahan Lane Dublin, OH 43016 614-555-1997 [email protected] www.linkedin.com/in/marcellagcope
Objective To help create high- quality CD-ROM products in Metatec’s New Media Solutions Division
Editing and Proofreading Experience • Edited a textbook published by Simon and Schuster, revising with attention to format, consistency, coherence, document integrity, and document design.
• Proofed training and instructor’s manuals, policy statements, student essays and research papers, internal documents, and promotional materials.
• Worked with authors in a variety of fields including English, communication, business, marketing, economics, education, history, sociology, biology, agriculture, computer science, law, and medicine to revise their prose and improve their writing skills by giving them oral and written feedback.
Writing Experience • Wrote training and instructor’s manuals, web page copy, professional papers, and letters, memos, and reports.
• Co-authored the foreword to a forthcoming textbook (Fall 2013) from NCTE press. • Contributed to a textbook forthcoming (Fall 2013) from Bedford Books/St. Martin's press.
Computer Experience • Designed a web page using Dreamweaver (www.cohums.ohio-state.edu/english/People/ Bracken.1/Sedgwick/)
• Learned and used a variety of programs on both Macintosh and PC platforms: Word Processing and Spreadsheets Dreamweaver Microsoft Project PageMaker E-Mail PowerPoint Aspects (a form for online synchronous discussion) Storyspace (a hypertext writing environment)
Other Business and Management Experience • Developed policies, procedures, and vision statements. • Supervised new staff members in a mentoring program. • Coordinated program and individual schedules, planned work and estimated costs, set goals, and evaluated progress and results.
• Member of team that directed the nation’s largest first-year writing program.
Computer experience is crucial for almost every job.
Specify the hardware and software you’ve worked
with.
On the first page of a skills résumé, put skills directly related to the job for which you're applying.
An extra half space creates good visual impact.
Put company’s name in objective.
Include area code for phone numbers and your complete e-mail address.
Use bullets and bold type to add impact.
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 459loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 459 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
460 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Figure 27.7 A Skills Résumé for Someone Changing Job Fields (continued)
Choose references who can speak about your skills
for the job for which you’re applying.
If you use two pages be sure to put your name and “Page 2” on the second page.
The reader may remove a staple.
Most recent
job first.
Explain honor societies that the reader may not know.
Marcella G. Cope
Page 2
Employment History Graduate Teaching Associate, Department of English, The Ohio State University, September 2010-Present. Taught Intermediate and First-Year Composition. Writing Consultant, University Writing Center, The Ohio State University, January-April 2011. Program Administrator, First-Year Writing Program, The Ohio State University, September 2010-January 2011.
Honors Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society, inducted 2010. Membership based upon performance in top ten percent of graduate students nationwide. Letters of Commendation, 2010–12. Issued by the Director of Graduate Studies in recognition of outstanding achievement. Dean’s List, Northwestern University, Evanston, IL
Education
Master of Arts, June 2012, The Ohio State University, Columbus, OH. Cumulative GPA: 4.0/4.0 Bachelor of Arts, June 2010, Northwestern University, Evanston, IL. Graduated with Honors.
References
Karen J. Packer Associate Professor, and Coordinator, Program in Professional Writing The Ohio State University 421 Denney Hall, 164 West 17th Avenue Columbus, OH 43210 614-555-6556 [email protected]
Marilyn Duffey Director, Ohio University Writing Program Ohio University 140 Chubb Hall Athens, OH 45701 614-555-9443 [email protected]
James Bracken Associate Professor, English and Library Science The Ohio State University 224 Main Library, 1858 Neil Avenue Mall Columbus, OH 43210 614-555-2786 [email protected]
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 460loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 460 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 461
You need at least three headings related to the job in a skills résumé; six or seven is not
uncommon. Give enough detail so the reader will know what you did. Put the most impor-
tant category from the reader’s point of view first.
A job description can give you ideas for headings. Possible headings and subheadings
for skills résumés include
Administration Communication
Alternates or subheadings: Alternates or subheadings:
Coordinating Conducting Meetings
Evaluating Editing
Implementing Fund-Raising
Negotiating Interviewing
Planning Speaking
Keeping Records Negotiating
Scheduling Persuading
Solving Problems Proposal Writing
Budgeting Report Writing
Supervising
Many jobs require a mix of skills. Include the skills that you know will be needed in the
job you want.
In a skills résumé, list your paid jobs under Employment History near the end of the
résumé (see Figures 27.5 and 27.7 ). List only job title, employer, city, state, and dates.
Omit details about what you did, since you will have already used them under Experience.
What parts of the two résumés are the same? LO 27-5
▶ Career Objective, Summary of Qualifications, Education, Honors, and References.
All résumés should have the necessary information to contact you and include an Edu-
cation section. Many résumés today also include a Summary of Qualifications. Career
Objective, Honors, and References are optional.
Contact Information
Provide the easiest and most relevant ways to contact you professionally. At minimum that
includes a street address, phone number, and e-mail address, but many employers are also
looking for LinkedIn or other social networking URLs. Use only business-friendly ones.
You may want to note a social networking URL elsewhere in the résumé if doing so is
appropriate, such as discussing your Twitter page under Computer Skills or stating you
have a portfolio available through LinkedIn at the end of the résumé.
Use both campus and permanent home contact information if you alternate during sum-
mers and vacations.
Summary of Qualifications
A section summarizing the candidate’s qualifications seems to have first appeared in scan-
nable résumés, where its keywords helped to increase the number of matches a résumé
produced. But the section proved useful for human readers as well and now is a standard
part of most résumés. The best summaries show your knowledge of the specialized termi-
nology of your field and offer specific, quantifiable achievements.
Weak: Reliable Better: Achieved zero sick days in four years with UPS.
Instant Replay
Skills Résumés
Use a skills résumé when
• Your education and
experience are not the usual
route to the position.
• You’re changing fields.
• You want to combine
experience from paid jobs,
activities and volunteer
work, and courses.
• Your recent work history
may create the wrong
impression.
I R
Skills Résum
According to Hire Right,
an employee background
checker, 53% of job seekers’
résumés contain inaccurate
information, while 34% have
outright lies. Exaggerating or
putting false information on a
résumé is a bad idea. Just ask
Scott Thompson and Dave
Edmondson, former CEOs
of Yahoo! and RadioShack,
respectively, who lost their jobs
after lies were discovered.
Source: Cindy Krischer Goodman, “Lying on a Résumé a Really
Bad Idea,” The Miami Herald,
May 15, 2012, http://www.
miamiherald.com/2012/05/15/v-
fullstory/2801282/lying-on-resume-
a-really-bad-idea.html .
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 461loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 461 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
462 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Weak: Staff accountant Better: Experience with Accounts Payable, Accounts Receivable, Audits, and Month-
End Closings. Prepared monthly financial reports.
Weak: Presentation Skills Better: Gave 20 individual and 7 team presentations to groups ranging from 5 to 100
people.
Your real accomplishments should go in the Summary section. Include as many key-
words as you legitimately can. Terms suggested by Rebecca Smith appear in Figure 27.8 ;
see her website for even more.
Education
Education can be your first major category if you’ve just earned (or are about to earn) a
degree, if you have a degree that is essential or desirable for the position you’re seeking, or
if you can present the information briefly. Put Education later if you need all of page 1 for
another category or if you lack a degree that other applicants may have.
Include summer school if you took courses to fit in extra electives or to graduate early
but not if you were making up a course you flunked during the year. Include study abroad,
even if you didn’t earn college credits. If you got a certificate for international study, give
the name and explain the significance of the certificate.
Highlight proficiency in foreign or computer languages by using a separate category.
Professional certifications can be listed under Education, under or after your name, or
in a separate category.
Include your GPA only if it’s good. Because grade point systems vary, specify what
your GPA is based on: “3.4/4.0” means 3.4 on a 4.0 scale. If your GPA is under 3.0 on
a 4.0 scale, use words rather than numbers: “B– average.” If your GPA isn’t impressive,
calculate your average in your major and your average for your last 60 hours. If these are
higher than your overall GPA, consider using them.
List in reverse chronological order (most recent first) each degree earned, field of study,
date, school, city, state of any graduate work, short courses and professional certification
courses, college, community college, or school from which you transferred.
Site to See
Go to
www.eresumes.com
eResumes & Resources
provides extensive examples of
keywords and web résumés.
Go to
Figure 27.8 Keywords for Sample Jobs
Accountant Hotel Manager Human Resources Generalist Marketing Director
Accounts payable Hospitality management EEO regulations Strategic planning skills
Accounts receivable Banquet sales ADA Market research
Audits Marketing Applicant screening New product transition
G/L Guest relations Applicant tracking Trade show management
Microsoft Excel Employee training 401(K) Competitive market analysis
Financial reports Front office management Merit pay program Team skills
SEC filings Occupancy rate Training and development Multiple priorities
Budget analysis Guest services Compensation Direct marketing campaigns
Gross margin analysis Convention management Recruitment Business models
Month-end closings Reservations Diversity Marketing business plans
Source: Rebecca Smith, Electronic Résumés & Online Networking: How to Use the Internet to Do a Better Job Search, Including a Complete, Up-to-Date Resource Guide (Career Press, 1999), pp. 192–194.
B.S. in Personnel Management, June 2014, Georgia State University, Milledgeville, GA
A.S. in Office Management, June 2013, Georgia Community College, Atlanta, GA
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 462loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 462 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 463
To fill a page, you can also list selected courses, using short descriptive titles rather than
course numbers. Use a subhead such as “Courses Related to Major” or “Courses Related
to Financial Management” which will allow you to list all the courses (including psychol-
ogy, speech, and business communication) that will help you in the job for which you’re
applying. Don’t say “Relevant Courses,” as that implies that all your other courses were
irrelevant. A Microsoft survey revealed that 70% of recruiters said they
rejected applicants because of
what they found online about
them, including posts on their
Facebook pages. Reppler,
a start-up that specializes in
sanitizing social networking
pages, surveyed 300 hiring
managers and found 91% used
social networking to screen job
applicants. About half said they
started Googling as soon as
they got an application.
Source: Kashmir Hill, “What Prospective Employers Hope to
See in Your Facebook Account:
Creativity, Well-Roundedness, and
‘Chastity,’” Forbes, October 3,
2011, http://www.forbes.com/
sites/kashmirhill/2011/10/03/
what-prospective-employers-hope-
to-see-in-your-facebook-account-
creativity-well-roundedness-
chastity/ .
Bachelor of Science in Management, May 2012, Illinois State University,
Normal, IL
GPA: 3.8/4.0
Courses Related to Management:
Personnel Administration Business Decision-Making
Finance International Business
Management I and II Marketing
Accounting I and II Legal Environment of Business
Business Report Writing Business Speaking
Salutatorian, Niles Township East High School, June 2008, Niles, IL
B.S. in Marketing, May 2009, California State University at Northridge
30 hours in Marketing
15 hours in Spanish
9 hours in Chicano/a Studies
A third option is to list the number of hours in various subjects, especially if the combi-
nation of courses qualifies you for the position for which you’re applying.
Career Objective
Career Objective statements should sound like the job descriptions an employer might use
in a job listing. Keep your statement brief—two or three lines at most. Tell what you want
to do, what level of responsibility you want to hold.
Ineffective career objective: To offer a company my excellent academic foundation in hospital technology and my outstanding skills in oral and
written communication.
Better career objective: Selling state-of-the-art Siemens medical equipment.
Including the employer’s name in the objective is a nice touch.
Often you can avoid writing a Career Objective statement by putting the job title or field
under your name.
Note that you can use the field you’re in even if you’re a new graduate. To use a job title,
you should have some relevant work experience.
Honors and Awards
It’s nice to have the word Honors in a heading where it will be obvious even when the
reader skims the résumé. If you have fewer than three and therefore cannot justify a
Joan Larson Ooyen Terence Edward Garvey David R. Lunde
Marketing Technical Writer Corporate Fitness Director
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 463loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 463 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
464 Unit Seven Job Hunting
separate heading, consider using the heading Activities and Honors to get that important
word in a position of emphasis.
Include the following kinds of entries in this category:
• Listings in recognition books (e.g., Who’s Who in the Southwest ). • Academic honor societies. Specify the nature of Greek-letter honor societies so the
reader doesn’t think they’re just social clubs.
• Fellowships and scholarships.
• Awards given by professional societies.
• Major awards given by civic groups.
• Varsity letters; selection to all-state or all-America teams; finishes in state, national, or
Olympic meets. (These could also go under Activities but may look more impressive
under Honors. Put them under one category or the other—not both.)
Omit honors such as “Miss Congeniality” that work against the professional image you
want your résumé to create.
As a new graduate, try to put Honors on page 1. In a skills résumé, put Honors on
page 1 if they’re major (e.g., Phi Beta Kappa, Phi Kappa Phi). Save them till page 2 if
Experience takes the whole first page.
References
Including references anticipates the employer’s needs and removes a potential barrier to
your getting the job. To make your résumé fit on one page, you can omit this category.
However, include References if you’re having trouble filling the page. Don’t say “References
Available on Request” because no job applicant is going to refuse to supply references.
If you don’t want your current employer to know you’re job hunting, omit the category in
the résumé and say in the letter, “If I become a finalist for the job, I will supply the names of
current references.”
When you list references, use three to five. Include at least one professor and at
least one employer or advisor—someone who can comment on your work habits and
leadership skills.
Always ask the person’s permission to list him or her as a reference. Don’t say, “May I
list you as a reference?” Instead, say, “Can you speak specifically about my work?” Jog the
person’s mind by taking along copies of work you did for him or her and a copy of your
current résumé. Tell the person what points you’d like him or her to stress in a letter. Keep
your list of references up to date. If it’s been a year or more since you asked someone, ask
again—and tell the person about your recent achievements.
References the reader knows are by far the most impressive. In a skills résumé, choose
references who can testify to your abilities in the most important skills areas.
Because many companies
forbid managers from
discussing a past employee’s
job performance, getting a job
reference that goes beyond
dates of employment can
be tough. One alternative,
suggests Russ Jones of
First Transitions, Inc., is to
seek references from former
managers and colleagues who
now work elsewhere. Whatever
the source, get permission
before naming anyone as a
reference.
Source: Perri Capell, “If a Boss Can’t Talk, Where Do Candidates
Get References?” The Wall
Street Journal, downloaded at
http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB120577223045642093.
html?mod 5 hpp_us_leisure on
March 19, 2008.
A good résumé speaks to your
skills and experiences and can
help in creating discussion
during the job interview.
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 464loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 464 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 465
What should I do if the standard categories don’t fit? LO 27-6
▶ Create new ones.
Create headings that match your qualifications: Computer Skills, Military Experience,
Foreign Languages, Summer and Part-Time Jobs, Marketing Experience, Achievements
Related to Career Objective.
Education and Experience (if you use the latter term) always stand as separate catego-
ries, even if you have only one item under each head. Combine other headings so you have
at least two long or three short items under each heading. For example, if you’re in one
honor society, two social clubs, and on one athletic team, combine them all under Activi-
ties and Honors.
If you have more than seven items under a heading, consider using subheadings.
For example, a student who had a great many activities might divide them into Student
Government, Other Campus Activities, and Community Service.
Put your strongest categories near the top and at the bottom of the first page. If you have
impressive work experience, you might want to put that category first after your name, put
Education in the middle of the page, and put your address at the bottom.
Should I limit my résumé to just one page? LO 27-6
▶ Not if you’ve got lots of qualifications.
A one-page résumé is sufficient, but do fill the page. The average résumé is now two
pages, according to career-planning consultant Marilyn Moats Kennedy. An experiment
that mailed one-or two-page résumés to CPA firms showed that even readers who said
they preferred short résumés were more likely to want to interview the candidate with the
longer résumé. 1
If you do use more than one page, the second page should have at least 10 to 12 lines.
Use a second sheet and staple it to the first so readers who skim see the staple and know
there’s more. Leave less important information for the second page. Put your name and
“Page 2” or “Cont.” on the second page. If the pages are separated, you want the reader
to know who the qualifications belong to and that the second page is not your whole
résumé.
How do I create a scannable résumé? LO 27-7
▶ Take out all your formatting.
Figure 27.9 is an example of a scannable résumé.
To increase the chances that the résumé is scanned correctly,
• Use a standard typeface: Helvetica, Futura, Optima, Times Roman, New Century
Schoolbook, Courier, Univers, or Bookman. 2
• Use 12- or 14-point type.
• Use a ragged right margin rather than full justification. Scanners can’t always handle
the extra spaces between words and letters that full justification creates.
• Don’t italicize or underline words—even for titles of books or newspapers that
grammatically require such treatment.
• Put the text in bold to make sure letters don’t touch each other. Then remove the
bold.
• Don’t use lines, boxes, script, leader dots, or borders.
• Don’t use two-column formats or indented or centered text.
Instant Replay
Summary of
Qualifications
In the first section of your
résumé, summarize your
strengths. Use the specialized
terminology of your field and
offer specific, quantifiable
achievements.
I R
Summary of
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 465loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 465 1/10/13 3:37 PM1/10/13 3:37 PM
Confirming pages
466 Unit Seven Job Hunting
• Put each phone number on a separate line.
• Use plenty of white space.
• Don’t fold or staple the pages.
• Don’t write anything by hand on your résumé.
• Send a laser copy. Stray marks defeat scanners.
Figure 27.9 A Scannable Résumé
Use 12– or 14–point type in a standard typeface. Here, Times Roman is used.
In keywords, use labels and terms that employers
might use in a job listing.
Give as much information as you like.
The computer doesn’t care how long the docum ent is.
Don’t use columns. Scanners can’t handle them.
Jerry A. Jackson
Keywords: family financial management; investment sales; computer modeling;
competitive; self-starter; hard worker; responsible; collegiate athletics; sales experience;
willing to travel
Campus Address
1636 Highland Street
Philadelphia, PA
(215) 555-5718
E-mail address: [email protected]
Linkedin page includes portfolio of my materials on saving for life goals, such as a home,
children’s education, and retirement: www.linkedin.com/in/jerryajackson
Permanent Address
45 East Mulberry
Huntington, NY 11746
(516) 555-7793
Summary of Qualifications
High energy. Played sports during two years of college. Started two businesses.
Sales experience. Sold both clothing and investments successfully.
Presentation skills. In individual and group presentations, spoke to groups ranging from 2 to 75
people. Gave informative, persuasive, and inspirational talks.
Financial experience. Knowledgeable about stocks and bonds, especially energy and telecommunication
companies.
Computer experience. Microsoft Word, Excel, SPSS, PowerPoint, and Dreamweaver.
Experience creating web pages.
Education
A.A.S. in Finance, May 2013, Community College of Philadelphia, Philadelphia, PA
“B” Grade Point Average
Comprehensive courses related to major provide not only the basics of family financial
management but also skills in communication, writing, speaking, small groups, and computer
modeling.
Accounting I and II
Business and Professional Writing
Computer Programming
Finance
Economics I and II
Family Resource Management
Family and Human Development Statistics
Public Speaking
Interpersonal Communication
1
2
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 466loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 466 1/10/13 3:38 PM1/10/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 467
To increase the number of matches or “hits,”
• Use a Keywords section under your name, address, and phone. In it, put not only
degrees, job field or title, and accomplishments but also personality traits and attitude:
dependable, skill in time management, leadership, sense of responsibility. 3 • Use industry buzzwords and jargon, even if you’re redundant. For example, “web page
design and HTML coding” will “match” either “Web” or “HTML” as a keyword.
• Use nouns. Some systems don’t handle verbs well.
• Use common headings such as Summary of Qualifications, Strengths, Certifications,
and so forth, as well as Education, Experience, and so on.
• Use as many pages as necessary.
• Mention specific software programs (e.g., Lotus Notes) you’ve used.
• Be specific and quantifiable. “Managed $2 million building materials account” will
generate more hits than “manager” or “managerial experience.” Listing Microsoft
Front Page as a skill won’t help as much as “Used Microsoft Front Page to design
an interactive web page for a national fashion retailer, with links to information about
style trends, current store promotions, employment opportunities, and an online video
fashion show.”
• Join honor societies and professional and trade organizations, since they’re often
used as keywords. 4 Spell out Greek letter societies (the scanner will mangle Greek
characters, even if your computer has them): “Pi Sigma Alpha Honor Society.” For
English words, spell out the organization name; follow it with the abbreviation in
To see the HTML coding that
someone has used to create a
web résumé, click on “View,”
then on “Source” or “Page
Source.”
Figure 27.9 A Scannable Résumé (continued)
Don’t justify margins. Doing so creates extra spaces that confuse scanners.
Omit bold and italics. Some scanners can hand le
bullets, but they aren’t needed in a scannable r ésumé.
Sports Experience
CAAD (Colonial Athletes Against Drugs)
Intramural Volleyball Team (Division Champions, Winter 2012)
Two-year Varsity Letterman, Community College of Philadelphia, Philadelphia, PA
Men’s NCAA Division II Basketball
Experience
Financial Sales Representative, Primerica Company, Philadelphia, PA, February 2008-present.
Work with clients to plan investment strategies.
Research and recommend specific investments, including stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and
annuities.
Entrepreneur, Huntington, NY and Philadelphia, PA, September 2007-January 2009
Created a saleable product, secured financial backing, found a manufacturer, supervised
production, and sold product–12 dozen T-shirts at $5.25 profit each–to help pay for college
expenses.
Landscape Maintenance Supervisor, Huntington, NY, Summers 2001–07.
Formed a company to cut lawns, put up fences, fertilize, garden, and paint houses.
Hired, fired, trained, motivated, and paid friends to complete jobs.
Collector and Repair Worker, ACN, Inc., Huntington, NY, Summers 2001–05.
Collected and counted up to $10,000 a day.
Worked with technicians troubleshooting and repairing electronic and coin mechanisms of video
and pinball games, cigarette machines, and jukeboxes.
Willing to relocate
U.S. citizen
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 467loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 467 1/10/13 3:38 PM1/10/13 3:38 PM
Rev.confirming pages
468 Unit Seven Job Hunting
parentheses: “College Newspaper Business and Advertising Managers Association
(CNBAM).” That way, the résumé will be tagged whether the recruiter searches for the
full name or the acronym.
• Put everything in the résumé, rather than “saving” some material for the cover letter.
While some applicant tracking systems can search for keywords in cover letters and
other application materials, most only extract information from the résumé, even though
they store the other papers. The length of the résumé doesn’t matter.
How should I prepare an online résumé? LO 27-7
▶ If an employer requests one, follow these guidelines.
Traditional paper résumés are still popular, but employers increasingly are requesting other
forms, and hiring managers and recruiters now use e-mail for most of their correspondence.
With the popularity of the web, you may want to post your résumé online. If you don’t know
hypertext markup language (HTML), the behind-the-scenes programming that displays web
pages in your browser, you can save your résumé as HTML in Word or WordPerfect. How-
ever, be aware that the HTML editors in word-processing programs create messy codes that
computer programmers deplore. If you’re claiming the ability to code web pages as one of
your skills and abilities, use real HTML, not the code created by Word or WordPerfect.
In your web résumé,
• Include an e-mail link at the top of the résumé under your name.
• Omit your street addresses and phone numbers. (A post office box is OK.) Employers
who find your résumé on the web will have the technology to e-mail you.
• Consider having links under your name and e-mail address to the various parts of your résumé.
Use phrases that give the viewer some idea of what you offer: e.g., Marketing Experience. • Link to other pages that provide more information about you (a list of courses, a
document you’ve written), but not to organizations (your university, an employer) that
shift emphasis away from your credentials.
• Don’t be cute. Do be professional. Link to other pages you’ve created only if they
convey the same professional image as your résumé.
• Put your strongest qualification immediately after your name and e-mail address. If the
first screen doesn’t interest readers, they won’t scroll through the rest of the résumé.
• Specify the job you want. Recruiters scroll from top to bottom and should not have to
search for this information. 5
• Specify city and state for educational institutions and employers.
• Use lists, indentations, and white space to create visual variety.
• Most commercial and many university sites offer lists of applicants, with a short
phrase after each name. Craft this phrase to convince the recruiter to click on your résumé.
• Proofread the résumé carefully.
Be prepared during the job interview to create HTML or Java text or provide an
in-office writing sample. Firms know that candidates can get help with web pages and
online portfolios and may want confirmation that the skills they represent indeed belong
to the candidate.
Can I use a video résumé? LO 27-8
▶ Yes, if it’s appropriate for the situation and presents you in the best light.
Video résumés can be powerful tools for reaching an audience. They let applicants use
sight, sound, color, and motion to enhance appeals and demonstrate skills needed for the
job. But video résumés also leave applicants vulnerable to discrimination or ridicule, as
was the case for Aleksey Vayner, whose much-maligned “Impossible is Nothing” made the
If you send your résumé in
an e-mail message, consider
these guidelines for etiquette:
• Use a personal e-mail
account, not your
employer’s. Google, Yahoo!,
and Hotmail provide free
e-mail accounts.
• Avoid silly or cryptic e-mail
addresses that might be
screened out by anti-
spam software. Instead of
[email protected] , use
• Omit your street address
and phone number, writing
“Confidential Résumé”
in their place, if you are
concerned about your
e-mail being read by a third
party.
• Send individual, targeted
messages rather than mass
mailings.
• Write a simple subject line—
Résumé for Kate Sanchez,
for instance.
If you send a résumé as an
attachment, send one version
in a popular word-processing
format, such as Microsoft
Word, and another as a text or
rich text format so it can still be
opened by other programs.
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 468loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 468 28/01/13 10:47 PM28/01/13 10:47 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 469
Figure 27.10 Checklist for
Résumés
Visual Impact
h Does the text visually fill the page? h Is your name easy to read (large font, surrounded by white space)? h Are the headings and text easy to skim (bold, rather than underlined or full caps;
bullet points)?
Specific Supporting Details
h Does a Summary of Qualifications or Keywords highlight your skills and knowledge?
h Do recent, relevant, and substantive details show that you are qualified for the job? h Do details interest the reader and set you apart from other applicants? h Are details quantifiable when they help?
Style and Mechanics
h Are duties and accomplishments listed in parallel structure? h Does the text omit the word I? h Is the writing tight and forceful? h Are jobs listed in reverse chronological order (starting with the most recent)? h If there is a second page, does it contain your name and Page 2? h Is the résumé free from typos and other errors?
Checklist for
Résumés
Vi l I
C C ff
rounds on the Internet and included examples of ballroom dancing, downhill skiing, and
bench pressing (hundreds of pounds)—all for a job in banking. 6 Know, too, that we may
overestimate our strengths on camera, as TV shows like American Idol have made audi- ences painfully realize!
When you have a choice, weigh the benefits of using video résumés against the risks.
Many potential employers, for instance, can scan through dozens of paper résumés in the
time it takes to view a single video résumé. Which résumé might they prefer? Consider
using a video résumé if it’s appropriate for the organization and job sought, such as one
in entertainment, motivational speaking, or face-to-face sales—and if it’s the best way to
present you. Stick to traditional methods otherwise.
For a video résumé:
• Be professional in behavior and appearance (◀◀ Module 9, p. 130). • Practice a few times before recording. (For tips on how to appear best on camera,
◀◀ Module 13, p. 231.) • Introduce yourself, and then show why you’re a strong candidate for the job by using
you-attitude and positive emphasis, highlighting skills necessary for the job.
• Keep the video brief unless you know the employer wants a longer video, bearing
in mind that because employers are usually busy or could be using slow Internet
connections, a minute or two may be ideal.
• Use imagery and sound to enhance your presentation, but refrain from discordant edits,
colors, music, and special effects.
• Record several versions using quality equipment, and select the version that presents
you best.
• Where possible, test your video résumé with an audience similar to your target
audience.
• Check your video résumé from time to time to make sure it downloads and plays
correctly, especially as new versions of software reach the market.
While technology can make job
hunting easier, old-fashioned
networking and face-to-
face communication still
drive success. Toy company
executive Paul Nawrocki, a
casualty of the recession, wore
a sandwich board and passed
out copies of his résumé on
the streets of New York. He
also appeared in dozens of
television interviews about
his plight, some uploaded to
the web. Ultimately, though,
a friend introducing Nawrocki
to his future boss at a toy-
industry fair got him a job after
99 weeks of unemployment.
Source: Samantha Gross, “Sandwich-Board Job Hunter
Finds Work After 2 Years,” April
24, 2010, http://news.yahoo.
com/s/ap/20100424/ap_on_bi_ge/
us_sandwich_board_job_hunter .
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 469loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 469 1/10/13 3:38 PM1/10/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
470 Unit Seven Job Hunting
You can e-mail video résumés directly to employers or post them on sites like you-
tube.com , facebook.com , workblast.com , hirevue.com , and mypersonalbroadcast.com .
Check to see if fees are involved, and make certain any page hosting your video résumé
presents you appropriately. You can also watch others’ video résumés on these sites for
inspiration.
Summary of Learning Objectives
• A résumé must fill at least one page. Use two pages if you have
extensive activities and experience. (LO 27-1) • Emphasize information that is relevant to the job you want, is
recent (last three years), and shows your superiority to other
applicants. (LO 27-1) • To emphasize key points, put them in headings, list them verti-
cally, and provide details. (LO 27-2) • Experiment with layout, fonts, and spacing to get an attractive
résumé. (LO 27-2) • Avoid templates. Space will be limited, and readers will have
seen them before. If you use a service that uses a template, cre-
ate another résumé that looks good. Take it with you to inter-
views. (LO 27-2) • Proofread carefully. (LO 27-2) • Résumés use sentence fragments punctuated like complete
sentences. Items in the résumé must be concise and parallel.
Emphasize verbs and gerunds in a résumé that people will read.
(LO 27-3) • A chronological résumé summarizes what you did in a time-
line (starting with the most recent events and going backward
in reverse chronology ). It emphasizes degrees, job titles, and dates. Use a chronological résumé when your education and
experience (LO 27-3) • Are a logical preparation for the position for which you’re
applying.
• Show a steady progression leading to the present.
• A skills résumé emphasizes the skills you’ve used, rather than the job in which, or the date when, you used them. Use a skills
résumé when (LO 27-3) • Your education and experience are not the usual route to the
position for which you’re applying.
• You’re changing fields.
• You want to combine experience from paid jobs, activities
or volunteer work, and courses to show the extent of your
experience in administration, finance, speaking, and so forth.
• Your recent work history may create the wrong impression
(e.g., it has gaps, shows a demotion, shows job-hopping, etc.).
• A chronological résumé uses separate categories for Experi-
ence, Activities, and Volunteer Work. Experience is organized
by jobs, with the most recent job first. (LO 27-4) • A skills résumé replaces these three categories with headings
of the skills needed for the job for which the job hunter is
applying. With each skill, items are listed in order of impor-
tance, combining paid and unpaid work. An Employment His-
tory section lists job titles, employers, city, state, and dates.
(LO 27-4) • Résumés commonly contain the applicant’s name, address,
phone number, education, and experience. Activities, honors,
and references should be included if possible. (LO 27-5) • To fill the page, list courses or list references vertically.
(LO 27-5) • Create headings that match your qualifications. Education and
Experience always stand as separate categories. (LO 27-6) • A one-page résumé is sufficient, but do fill the page. The aver-
age résumé is now two pages, according to consultant Marilyn
Moats Kennedy. (LO 27-6) • To create a scannable résumé, create a “plain vanilla” text using
industry jargon, buzzwords, and acronyms. (LO 27-7) • In a web résumé, omit street addresses and phone numbers,
consider having links to parts of the résumé, and proofread
carefully. (LO 27-7) • A video résumé uses sight, sound, color, and motion to rep-
resent you. Only use a video résumé if it is appropriate for the
situation and presents you in the best light. (LO 27-8)
Assignments for Module 27
27.1 How do you decide whether to use a chronological or a skills résumé? (LO 27-3)
27.2 In a chronological résumé, in what order do you list your experience? (LO 27-4)
27.3 Why should you think about dividing a section that has more than seven items? (LO 27-5)
Questions for Comprehension
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 470loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 470 1/10/13 3:38 PM1/10/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 471
27.4 Is it ethical to omit information that might hurt you, such as a low grade point average? (LO 27-1)
27.5 Should someone who is having trouble creating a good résumé pay a résumé service to create a document for him
or her? (LO 27-1, 27-2)
27.6 Suppose you know that people with your qualifications are in great demand. Is there any reason for you to take the time
to write a strong résumé? (LO 27-1)
27.7 What are the arguments for and against listing references on your résumé? (LO 27-5)
Questions for Critical Thinking
27.8 Analyzing Your Accomplishments (LO 27-1)
27.9 Remembering What You’ve Done (LO 27-1)
Exercises and Problems
List the 10 accomplishments that give you the most per-
sonal satisfaction.
These could be things that other people would not
notice. They can be things you’ve done recently or things
you did years ago.
Answer the following question for each accomplishment:
1. What skills or knowledge did you use?
2. What personal traits did you exhibit?
3. What about this accomplishment makes it personally
satisfying to you?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your answers with a small group of other
students.
b. Summarize your answers in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present your answers orally to the class.
Use the following list to jog your memory about what
you’ve done. For each, give three or four details as well as
a general statement.
Describe a time when you
1. Used facts and figures to gain agreement on an impor-
tant point.
2. Identified a problem faced by a group or organization
and developed a plan for solving the problem.
3. Made a presentation or a speech to a group.
4. Responded to criticism.
5. Interested other people in something that was impor-
tant to you and persuaded them to take the actions you
wanted.
6. Helped a group deal constructively with conflict.
7. Demonstrated creativity.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Identify which job(s) each detail is relevant for.
b. Identify which details would work well on a résumé.
c. Identify which details, further developed, would work
well in a job letter.
27.10 Evaluating Career Objective Statements (LO 27-1 to LO 27-3)
None of the following career objective statements is effec-
tive. What is wrong with each statement as it stands? Which
statements could be revised to be satisfactory? Which
should be dropped?
1. To use my acquired knowledge of accounting to eventu-
ally own my own business.
2. A progressively responsible position as a MARKET-
ING MANAGER where education and ability would
have valuable application and lead to advancement.
3. To work with people responsibly and creatively, helping
them develop personal and professional skills.
4. A position in international marketing which makes use
of my specialization in marketing and my knowledge of
foreign markets.
5. To design and maintain web pages.
27.11 Writing a Paper Résumé (LO 27-1 to LO 27-5)
Write a résumé on paper that you could mail to an employer
or hand to an interviewer at an interview.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Write a résumé for the field in which you hope to find a job.
b. Write two different résumés for two different job paths
you are interested in pursuing.
c. Adapt your résumé to a specific company you hope to
work for.
27.12 Writing a Scannable Résumé (LO 27-7)
Take the résumé you like best from Problem 27.11 and create a scannable version of it.
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 471loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 471 1/10/13 3:38 PM1/10/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
472 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Wait until the final draft is complete to edit and proofread. There
is no point in proofreading words and passages that might change.
(Some writers claim to proofread documents while they’re com-
posing; this practice is like trying to mow the lawn and trim the
hedges at the same time.)
Editing includes checking for you-attitude and positive emphasis,
fixing any sexist or biased language, and correcting grammatical errors.
Proofreading means making sure that the document is free from
typos. Check each of the following aspects.
Spelling. Scan for misspelled or misused words that spell-checkers don’t catch: not instead of now, you instead of your, its instead of it’s, their instead of there or they’re, one instead of won, and so forth.
Consistency. Check abbreviations and special terms. Names. Double-check the reader’s name. Punctuation. Make sure that parentheses and quotation marks come
in pairs. Be on the lookout for missing or extra commas and periods.
Format. Look for errors in spacing, margins, and document design, especially if you compose your document on one computer
and print it out at another. Use the correct format for citations—
MLA, APA, Chicago, etc.
Numbers and dates. Double-check all numbers to make sure they add up. Make sure page numbers appear where they should
and are sequential. Do the same for tables of contents or appen-
dixes. Check dates.
How to proofread is as individual as writing style. Try these
methods or invent your own:
• Read the document from last word to first word to catch spelling errors.
• Read the document in stages —first page, second page, third page—with plenty of “rest” in between so you are fresh for
each page.
• Read pages out of sequence so you can concentrate on the characters on the page rather than the meaning.
• Read the document aloud, listening for awkward or incorrect phrasing.
• Ask a friend to read the document aloud, voicing punctua- tion, while you follow along with the original.
Whatever your approach, build time into the composing pro-
cess for proofreading. If possible, finish the document a day or two
before it’s due to allow enough time. (If the document is a 100-
page report, allow even more time.) If you’re in a hurry, use a spell-
checker, proof the document yourself, and ask a friend or colleague to proof it as well.
Proofreading
Polishing Your Prose
Exercises
Proofread the following passages.
1. August 20, 20072
W. W. Lyndhurst INC.
10002 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 21211
Mr. frank Sugarman
12o1 North. 5th Stret.
Detroit, MN
Dear Mrs. Sugar:
Thanx for yore recent enquiry reguarding you’re recent order of July 17, 2001. AS you know, we at WW
Lyndhurt, Ink, value you’re satisfactory. Rest assure that a replacement part isn’t on it’s weigh.
Should you require anything else, please don’t call me, at 1-80-555-1209?
Once again,
Incredulously,
Kevin corcoran
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 472loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 472 1/10/13 3:38 PM1/10/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 27 Résumés 473
2. Resumed for Kathy Jones
332 West Long Strt.
Columbus, OHIO 4321579
(614–555–8188)
Objectifi cation
A management positive in fullfi lament services where my skulls, expereince can be boast be used to help your
company acheeve it’s goals.
Relevent Experience:
2000 to Present Day: Ass. Manager for high-end sports equipt distributor. Responsibly for checking new
customers out.
1895–200: Owned and Operated Jones, Inc., a telephone order processing company for ladys apparel.
1997: Received a plague for Must Compromising Executive of the Year” from Columbus Monthly Magazine.
1998: Delivery addresses to local high school senior citizens on why accuracy it important in busyness.
Special Skills
Type 7 or more wrods per minute
Studied English all my life. Fluent in French.
Shot at local gun club.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 473loc03261_ch27_449-473.indd 473 1/10/13 3:38 PM1/10/13 3:38 PM
Confirming pages
474
Module
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
T he purpose of a job application letter is to get an interview. If you get a job through interviews
arranged by a campus placement office or through contacts, you may not need to write a letter.
However, if you want to work for an organization that isn’t interviewing on campus, or later when you
change jobs, you probably will. Writing a letter is also a good preparation for a job interview because
the letter is your first step in showing a specific company what you can do for it.
Technology is also changing how people are applying for jobs. Some organizations want a brief
e-mail summarizing your qualifications for the job rather than a formal letter, with a résumé attached.
Others simply want a résumé. Employers are free to choose what works best for them, so adapt
accordingly. When a job application letter is called for, the skills in this module will help you to craft a
good one in whatever form it takes.
LO 28-1 Select job application letters for different situations.
LO 28-2 Contrast differences among job application letters.
LO 28-3 Compare similarities among job application letters.
LO 28-4 Examine methods for specific company targeting.
LO 28-5 Apply principles for T-letters.
LO 28-6 Apply principles for appropriate job application letter length.
LO 28-7 Apply principles for good job application letter tone.
LO 28-8 Apply principles for e-mail job application letters.
Module 28 describes how to write job application letters best suited to impress potential employers.
After completing the module, you should be able to
Job Application Letters 28
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 474loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 474 1/2/13 6:21 PM1/2/13 6:21 PM
Figure 28.1 Allocating Time in Writing a Job Application Letter (Your time may vary.)
Letter responding to an announced job opening. Total time: 12 hours
Planning
Read ad carefully.
Check the web for company facts and culture.
Identify knowledge, skills, and abilities from the résumé that are
particularly relevant to this company and this job.
Answer the PAIBOC questions (◀◀ Module 1). Think about document design (◀◀ Module 5). Organize the message.
6 hours
Writing
Draft the letter.
3 hours
Revising
Reread draft.
Measure draft against PAIBOC questions, ad, and checklist for application
letters (Figure 28.8).
Revise draft.
Ask for feedback on draft.
Revise draft based on feedback.
Edit document to catch grammatical errors.
Run spell-check.
Proof by eye.
Sign letter; put in envelope with résumé, and mail.
3 hours
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 475
In your letter, focus on
• Major requirements of the job for which you’re applying.
• Points that separate you from other applicants.
• Points that show your knowledge of the organization.
• Qualities that every employer is likely to value: the ability to write and speak effectively,
to solve problems, to get along with people.
Note that the advice in this book applies to job hunting in the United States. Conventions,
expectations, and criteria differ from culture to culture: different norms apply in different
countries. Even within the United States, different discourse communities (◀◀ p. 28) may have different preferences. For example, letters applying for sales jobs should be more
aggressive than the examples in this module.
Every employer wants businesslike employees who understand professionalism. To
make your application letter professional,
• Create your letter on a computer. Use a standard font (Times Roman, Palatino, Arial, or
Helvetica) in 11- or 12-point type.
• Address your letter to a specific person. If the reader is a woman, call the office to find
out what courtesy title (◀◀ p. 132) she prefers. • Don’t mention relatives’ names. It’s OK to use other names if the reader knows them
and thinks well of them, if they think well of you and will say good things about you,
and if you have permission to use their names.
• Omit personal information not related to the job.
• Unless you’re applying for a creative job in advertising or web design, use a conservative
style: few contractions, no sentence fragments, clichés, or slang.
• Edit the letter carefully and proof it several times to make sure it’s perfect.
Figure 28.1 lists the activities involved in crafting a strong letter.
Website Gawker published
a 3,000-word rejection letter
sent out to 900 applicants for
a writing position. Among the
42 tips the letter had were to
use a one-paragraph e-mail
“cover letter” explaining why
the applicant was qualified,
with the added caveat to
“keep it short and sweet.”
After Shea Gunther’s rejection
letter was printed and received
harsh criticism, he published a
rebuttal on website Salon.
Source: Emma Carmichael, “Here’s How to Condescend to 900 Job
Applicants with a 3,000-Word
Rejection Letter,” March 26, 2012,
http://gawker.com/5896584/
heres-how-to-condescend-to-900-
job-applicants-with-a-3000 1 word-
rejection-letter/ .
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 475loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 475 1/2/13 6:21 PM1/2/13 6:21 PM
Confirming pages
476 Unit Seven Job Hunting
What kind of letter should I use? LO 28-1
▶ It depends on whether the company has asked for applications.
Two different hiring situations call for two different kinds of application letters. Write
a solicited letter when you know that the company is hiring: you’ve seen an ad, you’ve been advised to apply by a professor or friend, you’ve read in a trade publication that the
company is expanding. Sometimes, however, the advertised positions may not be what you
want, or you may want to work for an organization which has not announced that it has
openings in your area. Then you write a prospecting letter (as in prospecting for gold). Prospecting letters help you tap into the hidden job market (◀◀ p. 443). In some cases,
your prospecting letter may arrive at a company that has decided to hire but has not yet
announced the job. In other cases, companies create positions to get a good person who is
on the market. Even in a hiring freeze, jobs are sometimes created for specific individuals.
How are the two letters different? LO 28-2
▶ They begin and end differently.
When you know the company is hiring, organize your letter in this way:
1. State that you’re applying for the job (phrase the job title as your source phrased it). Tell
where you learned about the job (ad, referral, web). Briefly show that you have the major
qualifications required by the ad: a degree, professional certification, job experience,
and so forth. Summarize your other qualifications briefly in the same order in which you
plan to discuss them in the letter. This summary sentence or paragraph then covers everything you will talk about and serves as an organizing device for your letter.
Some experts question
whether the traditional job
application cover letter is going
away. At least one survey,
though, by OfficeTeam found
that 91% of more than 1,000
executives polled said cover
letters were either somewhat or
very valuable when evaluating
a job candidate. “Although the
job application process has
increasingly moved online, the
importance of a cover letter
shouldn’t be underestimated,”
says Robert Hosking,
OfficeTeam’s executive director.
“It often is the first opportunity
to make a positive impression
on hiring managers.”
Source: Luke Roney, “How to Write a Knock-’em-Dead Cover Letter,”
February 21, 2012, U.S. News
and World Report, http://money.
usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-
voices-careers/2012/02/21/
how-to-write-a-knock-em-dead-
cover-letter .
I have a good background in standard accounting principles and procedures and a
working knowledge of some of the special accounting practices of the oil industry.
This working knowledge is based on practical experience in the oil fields: I’ve pumped,
tailed rods, and worked as a roustabout.
Let me put my creative eye, artistic ability, and experience to work for McLean Design.
2. Develop your major qualifications in detail. Be specific about what you’ve done; relate your
achievements to the work you’d be doing in this new job. This is not the place for modesty!
3. Develop your other qualifications, even if the ad doesn’t ask for them. (If the ad asks for
a lot of qualifications, pick the most important three or four.) Show what separates you
from the other applicants who will also answer the ad. Demonstrate your knowledge of
the organization.
4. Ask for an interview; tell when you’ll be available to be interviewed and to begin work.
End on a positive, forward-looking note.
Figure 28.2 presents this pattern of organization visually. Figure 28.4 is an example of
a solicited letter.
When you don’t have any evidence that the company is hiring, you cannot use the pat-
tern for solicited letters. Instead, organize your letter this way:
1. Catch the reader’s interest.
2. Create a bridge between the attention-getter and your qualifications. Focus on what you know and can do. Because the employer is not planning to hire, he or she won’t be impressed
with the fact that you’re graduating. Summarize your qualifications briefly in the same order
in which you plan to discuss them in the letter. This summary sentence or paragraph then covers everything you will talk about and serves as an organizing device for your letter.
Site to See
Go to
www.career.vt.edu/ jobsearchguide/ coverlettersamples.html
for examples of job
applications from Virginia
Polytechnic Institute and State
University.
Go to
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 476loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 476 1/2/13 6:21 PM1/2/13 6:21 PM
Request for Action
Details
Details
Request for Action
Attention-Getter
Details
Details
Request for Action
1636 Highland Street
Philadelphia, PA 43201
March 7, 2013
Mr. John A. Addison, President and co-CEO
Primerica
116 E. 8th Street
New York, NY 21101
Dear Mr. Addison:
I am interested in the position of Regional Manager announced in the February 24 issue of The New York Times. I will receive an A.A.S. in Finance in May and already have a year’s experience as a financial sales representative in Primerica’s Philadelphia office.
My program in Finance has given me the opportunity to focus on Family Financial Management.
I have had the opportunity to take courses not only in investments but also in how families
manage their resources and the financial stages that U.S. families typically go through. In one
class, I had the opportunity to create an Excel spreadsheet to calculate how much a family needed
to save to put two children through college, depending on the age of the children and the
anticipated expense of college. Writing the spreadsheet gave me a “hands-on” feel for the need for
investments over and above simply looking up figures on a chart.
Financial selling is a highly competitive field. I am a competitor and have been all my life. While I
was in high school, I created a business, hired a staff, and lined up clients. I know the value of
training and hard work, and I look forward to the challenge of motivating Primerica’s sales staff
to do their best. In my landscape business, I delegated work and motivated my employees to do
the high-quality jobs that my clients expected. My managerial experience running two businesses
could help me become an efficient Regional Manager more quickly.
In the last year, as a financial sales representative for Primerica, I’ve used my persuasive and sales
skills to help clients develop financial plans, choose the best investment products to fit their
needs, personalities, and lifestyles, and even recruited two clients to become Primerica
representatives themselves. I’d like to continue this record of success in your New York office.
Could we set up an appointment to discuss this possibility? I’ll be in New York March 23–27 and
would welcome the opportunity to talk about ways that I could put my experience and drive to
work for you.
Sincerely,
Jerry A. Jackson
Encl.: Résumé
1 2
Block format is a standard business format.
In 1, show you have the major qualifications listed in the ad.
Be specific about what you’ve done.
Ask for an interview.
End on a positive, forward-looking note.
Show how what you’ve done relates to what you could do in this job.
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 477
Figure 28.4 A Solicited Letter
Figure 28.2 How to
Organize a Solicited
Job Letter
Figure 28.3 How
to Organize a
Prospecting Letter
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 477loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 477 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
478 Unit Seven Job Hunting
3. Develop your strong points in detail. Be specific. Relate what you’ve done in the past
to what you could do for this company. Show that you know something about the
company. Identify the specific niche you want to fill.
4. Ask for an interview and tell when you’ll be available for interviews. (Don’t tell when
you can begin work.) End on a positive, forward-looking note.
Figure 28.3 presents this pattern visually. Figure 28.5 shows a prospecting letter.
The First Paragraph of a Solicited Letter
When you know that the firm is hiring, announcing that you are applying for a specific
position enables the firm to route your letter to the appropriate person, thus speeding con-
sideration of your application. Identify where you learned about the job: “the position of
junior accountant announced in Sunday’s Dispatch, ” “William Paquette, our placement director, told me that you are looking for. . . .”
Note how the following paragraph picks up several of the characteristics of the ad:
Ad: Business Education Instructor at Shelby Adult Education. Candidate must possess a bach- elor’s degree in Business Education. Will be responsible for providing in-house training
to business and government leaders. . . . Candidate should have at least six months’ office
experience. Prior teaching experience not required.
Letter: I am interested in your position in Business Education. I will receive a Bachelor of Science degree from North Carolina A & T University in December. I have two years’ experience
teaching word processing and computer accounting courses to adults and have developed
leadership skills in the North Carolina National Guard.
Good word choices can help set your letter apart from the scores or even hundreds of let-
ters the company is likely to get in response to an ad. The following first paragraph of a
letter in response to an ad by Allstate Insurance Company shows a knowledge of the firm’s
advertising slogan and sets itself apart from the dozens of letters that start with “I would
like to apply for. . . .”
The Allstate Insurance Company is famous across the nation for its “Good Hands
Policy.” I would like to lend a helping hand to many Americans as a financial analyst for
Allstate, as advertised in the Chicago Tribune. I have an Associate of Applied Science degree in Accounting from Harold Washington College, and I have worked with figures,
computers, and people.
Note the last sentence forecasts the organization of the letter, preparing for paragraphs
about the student’s academic background and (in this order) experience with “figures,
computers, and people.”
First Paragraphs of Prospecting Letters
In a prospecting letter, asking for a job in the first paragraph is dangerous: unless the com-
pany plans to hire but has not yet announced openings, the reader is likely to throw the let-
ter away. Instead, catch the reader’s interest. Then in the second paragraph shift the focus
to your skills and experience, showing how they can be useful to the employer.
Here are an effective first paragraph and the second paragraph of a letter applying to be
a computer programmer for an insurance company:
Site to See
Go to
http://career-advice. monster.com/resumes- cover-letters/cover-letter- tips/jobs.aspx
for dozens of articles on writing
job application letters.
Taking a cue from advertising,
Lynn Taylor suggests job
seekers focus on their unique
selling proposition, or USP,
when crafting job application
letters. The consultant cites
famous advertising campaigns
for products that cemented a
USP in the minds of the public,
such as Colgate Toothpaste’s
“It cleans your breath while it
cleans your teeth.” In a similar
way, she says, job seekers
should consider what USP
would best describe them to
employers.
Source: Lynn Taylor, “Winning a Job with Your USP,”
BusinessWeek, March 12, 2010,
http://www.businessweek.com/
managing/content/mar2010/
ca2010038_552370.htm .
Computers alone aren’t the answer to demands for higher productivity in the competi-
tive insurance business. Merging a poorly written letter with a database of customers
just sends out bad letters more quickly. But you know how hard it is to find people who
can both program computers and write well.
Go to
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 478loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 478 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Marcella G. Cope 370 Monahan Lane
Dublin, OH 43016
614-555-1997
August 23, 2012
Mr. John Harrobin New Media Solutions Metatec Corporation 7001 Metatec Boulevard Dublin, OH 43017
Dear Mr. Harrobin:
Putting a textbook on a CD-ROM saves paper but does nothing to take advantage of the many possibilities the CD-ROM environment provides. Yet it can be a real challenge to find people who write well, proof carefully, and understand multimedia design. You will see from my enclosed résumé that I have this useful combination of skills.
Rita Haralabidis tells me that Metatec needs people to design and develop high-quality CD-ROM products to meet business and consumer deadlines. Most of the writing and editing that I do is subject to strict standards and even stricter deadlines, and I know information is useful only if it is available when clients need it.
When I toured Metatec this spring, members of the New Media Solutions Group shared some of their work from a series of interactive CD-ROM textbooks they were developing in tandem with Harcourt Brace. This project sparked my interest in Metatec because of my own experience with evaluating, contributing to, and editing college-level textbooks.
As a program administrator at The Ohio State University, I examined dozens of textbooks from publishers interested in having their books adopted by the nation’s largest First-Year Writing Program. This experience taught me which elements of a textbook--both content and design--were successful, and which failed to generate interest. Often, I worked closely with sales representatives to suggest changes for future editions. My own contributions to two nationally distributed textbooks further familiarized me with production processes and the needs of multiple audiences. My close contact with students convinces me of the need to produce educational materials that excite students, keep their attention, and allow them to learn through words, pictures, and sounds.
My communication and technology skills would enable me to adapt quickly to work with both individual clients and major corporations like CompuServe and The American Medical Association. I am a flexible thinker, a careful editor, a fluent writer, and, most importantly, a quick study. I will call you next week to find a mutually convenient time when we can discuss putting my talents to work for Metatec.
Sincerely,
Marcella G. Cope
Enclosed: Résumé
Marcella creates a “letterhead” that harmonizes with her résumé (see Figure 27.7).
Block format with justified margins lets Marcella get this letter on one page.
In a prospecting letter, open with a sentence which (1) will seem interesting and true to the reader and (2) provides a natural bridge to talking about yourself.
Shows knowledge of the company.
Shows she can meet company needs.
When you’re changing fields, learning quickly
is a real plus.
All of these terms
fit Metatec’s production
of multi- media
educational materials.
Names specific clients, showing
more knowledge
of the company.
One way to refer
to the enclosed résumé.
Relates what she’s
done to what she could do for this
company.
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 479
Figure 28.5 A Prospecting Letter from a Career Changer
My education and training have given me this useful combination. I’d like to put my
associate’s degree in computer technology and my business experience writing to cus-
tomers to work in State Farm’s service approach to insurance.
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 479loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 479 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
480 Unit Seven Job Hunting
The best job applications give the employer a
sample of what you can do. Hector Palacios
created a demo reel of animations to convince
potential employers to hire him.
(Source: Palacios, Hector. “Demo Reel for Pixar application.” YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=-hbi0t3H7ew)
I am available for interviews any Wednesday or Friday.
Last Paragraphs
In the last paragraph, indicate when you’d be available for an interview. If you’re free any
time, say so. But it’s likely that you have responsibilities in class and work. If you’d have to
go out of town, there may be only certain days of the week or certain weeks that you could
leave town for several days. Use a sentence that fits your situation.
I could come to Memphis for an interview March 17–21.
I will call you on Wednesday, April 25, to schedule a time when we can talk.
I look forward to discussing with you ways in which I could contribute to The Limited’s
continued growth.
Should you wait for the employer to call you, or should you call the employer to request
an interview? In a solicited letter, it’s safe to wait to be contacted: You know the employer
wants to hire someone, and if your letter and résumé show that you’re one of the top appli-
cants, you’ll get an interview. However, for sales jobs, say that you’ll call the employer—
and do it! In a prospecting letter, also call the employer. Because the employer is not
planning to hire, you’ll get a higher percentage of interviews if you’re aggressive. Don’t,
however, be rude. No one owes you a response. And when you do call, be polite to the
person who answers the phone.
If you’re writing a prospecting letter to a firm that’s more than a few hours away by car,
say that you’ll be in the area the week of such-and-such and could stop by for an interview.
Companies pay for follow-up visits, but not for first interviews. A company may be reluc-
tant to ask you to make an expensive trip when it isn’t yet sure it wants to hire you.
End the letter on a positive note that suggests you look forward to the interview and that
you see yourself as a person who has something to contribute, not as someone who just
needs a job.
Instant Replay
How to Organize a
Solicited Letter
1. State that you’re applying for
the job, and tell where you
learned about it. Summarize
your qualifications in the
order in which you plan to
discuss them in the letter.
2. Develop your major
qualifications in detail.
3. Develop your other
qualifications. Show what
separates you from the other
applicants who will also
answer the ad. Demonstrate
your knowledge of the
organization.
4. Ask for an interview. State
when you can begin work.
End on a positive, forward-
looking note.
I R
How to Orga
What parts of the two letters are the same? LO 28-3
▶ The body paragraphs discussing your qualifications.
In both solicited and prospecting letters you should
• Address the letter to a specific person.
• Indicate the specific position for which you’re applying.
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 480loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 480 1/15/13 4:40 PM1/15/13 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 481
• Be specific about your qualifications.
• Show what separates you from other applicants.
• Show a knowledge of the company and the position.
• Refer to your résumé (which you would enclose with the letter).
• Ask for an interview.
Showing a Knowledge of the Position and the Company
If you could substitute another inside address and salutation and send out the letter without
any further changes, it isn’t specific enough. Use your knowledge of the position and the
company to choose relevant evidence from what you’ve done to support your claims that
you could help the company. (See Figures 28.4 and 28.5 .)
One or two specific details usually are enough to demonstrate your knowledge. Be sure
to use the knowledge, not just repeat it. Never present the information as though it will
be news to the reader. After all, the reader works for the company and presumably knows
much more about it than you do.
Separating Yourself from Other Applicants
Your knowledge of the company separates you from other applicants. You can also use
course work, an understanding of the field, and experience in jobs and extracurricular
events to show that you’re unique.
• This student uses summer jobs and course work to set herself apart from other applicants:
Instant Replay
How to Organize a
Prospecting Letter
1. Catch the reader’s interest.
2. Create a bridge between
the attention-getter
and your qualifications.
Summarize your
qualifications in the order in
which you plan to discuss
them in the letter.
3. Develop your strong points
in detail. Relate what
you’ve done in the past to
what you could do for this
company. Show that you
know something about
the company. Identify the
specific niche you want
to fill.
4. Ask for an interview. End on
a positive, forward-looking
note.
I R
How to Orga
A company as diverse as Monsanto requires extensive recordkeeping as well as numer-
ous internal and external communications. Both my summer jobs and my course work
prepare me to do this. As Office Manager for the steamboat Julia Belle Swain, I was in charge of most of the bookkeeping and letter writing for the company. I kept accurate
records for each workday, and I often entered over 100 transactions in a single day. In
business and technical writing I learned how to write persuasive letters and memos and
how to present extensive data in reports in a simplified style that is clear and easy to
understand.
• This student uses her sorority experience and knowledge of the company to set herself
apart from other applicants in a letter applying to be assistant personnel manager of a
multinational firm:
As a counselor for sorority rush, I was also able to work behind the scenes as well as
with the prospective rushees. I was able to use my leadership and communication skills
for group activities for 70 young women by planning numerous activities to make my
group a cohesive unit. Helping the women deal with rejection was also part of my job.
Not all of the rushees made final cuts, and it was the rush counselor who helped put the
rejection into perspective.
This skill could be helpful in speaking to prospective employees wishing to travel to
Saudi Arabia. Not all will pass the medical exams or make the visa application dead-
lines in time, and the assistant manager tells these people the news. An even more deli-
cate subject to handle is conveying news of a death of a relative or employee to those
concerned. My experience with helping people deal with small losses gives me a foun-
dation to help others deal with more severe losses and deeper grief.
Instant Replay
What Job Letters
Must Do
In all job letters,
• Address the letter to a
specific person.
• Indicate the specific position
for which you’re applying.
• Be specific about your
qualifications.
• Show what separates you
from other applicants.
• Show a knowledge of the
company and the position.
• Refer to your résumé (which
you would enclose with the
letter).
• Ask for an interview.
I R
What Job Le
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 481loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 481 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
482
Targeting a Specific Company in Your Letter LO 28-4
Building a Critical Skill
If your combination of skills is in high demand, a one-size-fits-
all letter may get you an interview. But when you must com-
pete against dozens—perhaps hundreds or even thousands—of
applicants for an interview slot, you need to target your letter to
the specific company. Targeting a specific company also helps
you prepare for the job interview.
The web makes it easy to find information about a company.
The following example shows how applicants could use infor-
mation posted on the United Parcel Service (UPS) website on
February 15, 2010.
Check for Facts about the Company
Like most corporate websites, www.ups.com has dozens of
facts about the company. A computer network administrator
might talk about helping to keep the company’s 156,000 work-
stations connected through 11,500 servers working well. A web
weaver could talk about supporting the 17 million page views
and 18.5 million tracking requests on a daily basis that the
site gets or about developing even the 5.7 petabytes of main-
frame and Unix storage housed at the company’s Mahwah,
New Jersey, world headquarters. Someone in accounting might
talk about being able to convert currency from the euro, the
pound, the yuan, the won, or the yen into dollars and back
again. Someone in human resources could talk about process-
ing benefits for the 408,000 employees worldwide, keeping
the company in Fortune ’s 50 best companies for minorities or encouraging recruits to join what Fortune called “The World’s Most Admired Company” in its industry.
Check News Releases and Speeches
A January 14, 2010, release notes that the company has estab-
lished 101 new field stocking locations (FSL) in China and will
use the UPS Post Sales Order Management System online to
place and track orders, access critical parts inventories, or deter-
mine the most optimal routing strategy to meet customer needs.
A candidate knowledgeable about Chinese languages and culture
could talk about the use of web-based platforms to keep the 89
key cities across China networked while the company expands
there and elsewhere. (UPS also has more than 950 FSLs in 120
countries.) Several releases discuss UPS’s commitment to going
“green.” Anyone interested in environmentally friendly business
strategies could talk about helping UPS expand its efforts even
further in meaningful ways, including reducing its carbon foot-
print, addressing recycling innovations, or continuing to expand
its truck fleet powered by electricity and natural gas.
In a November 11, 2009, speech in Singapore, CEO Scott
Davis said that creating a better business model for a new global
economy involves three key components: reality, resources, and
rules. He recognized the tremendous potential for growth in
Asia, and an understanding that UPS must partner with new-
generation global supply chains that are “predictable, visible,
resilient, and environmentally responsible.”
Check the Corporate Culture
Under “Careers,” “Life at UPS” describes the company’s facili-
ties, benefits, and commitment to diversity and philanthropy.
Reading about the active participation that UPS encourages
may remind applicants to talk about their own work tutoring
fifth graders or building houses for Habitat for Humanity, activ-
ities that demonstrate their fit with UPS. The use of the term
UPSers for employees suggests another way to identify with the company: Use that term once in the letter to suggest how
close one is to being an insider. The ad campaign for brown
suggests other ways to adapt a letter to the company: Talk about
the “brown” character traits you share or your desire to “bleed
brown.”
Can I use T-letters? LO 28-5
▶ Yes, if the employer prefers them.
Some employers want T-letters, a cross between a traditional job application letter and
a résumé. T-letters, like résumés, offer the advantage of skimming but with some of the
narrative qualities of a letter. The T-letter format, though, may make it difficult to provide
as much information as the job application letter and résumé combination, and not every
employer prefers T-letters. When in doubt, use the more traditional methods described in
this module and Module 27.
To create a T-letter, determine the duties of the job. Use a want ad or job description;
if none is available, research the kinds of skills that are needed typically, focusing on key
skills. Then create a two-column list, with the duties in one column and descriptions using
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 482loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 482 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 483
active verbs or gerunds of how you match what the employer wants in the other. Use bullets and organize your lists—a table format works nicely. Be sure to include details,
especially with dollar amounts and other quantities that work in your favor.
What you say in the opening paragraph is determined by whether the letter is solicited
or unsolicited. Follow the advice given in those sections of this module. Request an inter-
view in the last paragraph, and end on a positive, forward-looking note. If you have enclo-
sures, such as a résumé or work samples, note them at the end of the letter.
Make sure you give the appropriate contact information, including a telephone number or
e-mail address. As with any job application, use quality paper stock and proofread carefully.
Figure 28.6 shows a format for a T-letter.
How long should my letter be? LO 28-6
▶ Use a full page.
A short letter throws away an opportunity to be persuasive; it may also suggest that you
have little to say for yourself or that you aren’t very interested in the job.
Without eliminating content, tighten each sentence (◀◀ p. 276) to be sure that you’re using space as efficiently as possible. If your letter is still a bit over a page, use slightly smaller mar-
gins, a type size that’s one point smaller, or justified proportional type to get more on the page.
However, if you need more than a page, use it. The extra space gives you room to
be more specific about what you’ve done and to add details about your experience that
separate you from other applicants. Employers don’t want longer letters, but they will read them if the letter is well written and if the applicant established early in the letter that he or she has the credentials the company needs.
How do I create the right tone? LO 28-7
▶ Use you-attitude and positive emphasis.
You-attitude and positive emphasis help you sound assertive without being arrogant.
You-Attitude
Unsupported claims may sound overconfident, selfish, or arrogant. Create you-attitude
(◀◀ p. 90) by describing exactly what you have done and by showing how that relates to what you could do for this employer.
Lacks you-attitude: An inventive and improvising individual like me is a necessity in your business.
You-attitude: Building a summer house-painting business gave me the opportunity to find creative solutions to challenges. At the end of the first summer, for
example, I had nearly 10 gallons of exterior latex left, but no more jobs.
I contacted the home economics teacher at my high school. She agreed to
give course credit to students who were willing to give up two Saturdays to
paint a house being renovated by Habitat for Humanity. I donated the paint
and supervised the students. I got a charitable deduction for the paint and
hired the three best students to work for me the following summer. I could
put these skills in problem solving and supervising to work as a personnel
manager for Burroughs.
Remember that the word you refers to your reader. Using you when you really mean yourself or “all people” can insult your reader by implying that he or she still has a lot to
learn about business:
Since you’re talking about yourself, you’ll use I in your letter. Reduce the number of I ’s by revising some sentences to use me or my.
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 483loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 483 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
341 Kaumualii Street
Honolulu, HI 96814
July 3, 2013
Ms. Genevieve Gigot–Adler
GDW Electronics Systems, Inc.
1174 West Alameda Street
Suite 174
San Francisco, CA 94501
Dear Ms. Gigot–Adler:
The international sales consultant position described in your July 3 advertisement in The San Francisco Examiner sounds like an excellent match for my skills and experiences. Listed here are the key requirements for the position, as well as my qualifications for each of them.
I will be in the San Francisco area throughout August. Could we schedule an appointment to
discuss how I might be of service to GDW Electronics Systems, Inc.? Until then, I look forward to
sharing further how I can be an asset to GDW’s sales team.
Sincerely,
Lawrence C. Tanaka
Your Requirements My Qualifications
• Bachelor’s Degree in
Business Administration,
Marketing, Advertising, or
related field.
• Excellent oral and written
communication skills.
• One year of management
or supervisory experience.
• Licensed with an excellent
driving record and a
willingness to travel.
• Skill in a foreign
language.
• Awarded B.B.A., Marketing, University of Hawaii at
Manoa, June 2011; graduated magna cum laude in
three years.
• Wrote promotional copy for five sales brochures
while interning with Green Manta Wireless; cold-called
customers for TV TOKYO, generating more than
$1,500 monthly in new cable and satellite subscribers;
received Dean’s Award for Best Freshman Essay.
• Supervised 11 lab assistants for university public
computer site; promoted to lead sales trainer at
TV TOKYO after two months.
• Licensed and free of accidents and citations since
16; have traveled throughout Europe, Canada, and the
United States; travel frequently to Japan.
• Am fluent in English, French, and Japanese;
speak some Chinese and Spanish.
In a solicited letter, indicate how
you learned of the job opening.
Center column headings or place them just to the left of the columns.
Choose key skills to focus on. Use a want ad or job description as a guide.
Some emplo
yers p refer
to con tact a
pplica nts
by e-m ail.
Ask for an interview.
Use verbs and
details in your
descriptions.
Use bullet points to emphasize information.
Create a table to organize your
columns. If you don’t want lines,
or rules, in the table, de-select
that feature in your word
processor.
Note if you’ll be in the area and can meet for an interview.
Bold hea dings.
Confirming pages
484 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Figure 28.6 A Solicited T-letter
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 484loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 484 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 485
In particular, avoid beginning every paragraph with I. Using prepositional phrases or introductory clauses will avoid beginning a sentence with I.
Positive Emphasis
Be positive. Don’t plead (“Please give me a chance”) or apologize (“I cannot promise that
I am substantially different from the lot”). Most negatives should be omitted in the letter.
Avoid word choices with negative connotations (◀◀ p. 102). Note how the following revisions make the writer sound more confident.
Negative: I have learned an excessive amount about writing through courses in journalism and advertising.
Positive: Courses in journalism and advertising have taught me to recognize and to write good copy. My profile of a professor was published in the campus newspaper; I earned an “A”
on my direct mail campaign for the American Dental Association to persuade young
adults to see their dentist more often.
Excessive suggests that you think the courses covered too much—hardly an opinion likely to endear you to an employer.
The company wants an e-mail application. What should I do? LO 28-8
▶ Compose a document in a word-processing program. Then paste it into your e-mail screen.
When you submit an e-mail letter (see Figure 28.7 ) with an attached résumé,
Under my presidency, the Agronomy Club. . . .
Courses in media and advertising management gave me a chance to. . . .
My responsibilities as a summer intern included. . . .
Develop a strong network of people to help you find jobs and to speak positively about you.
Copyright © Mort Gerberg/The New Yorker Collection, www.cartoonbank.com .
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 485loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 485 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Omit salutation.
Put the job number in the subject line and in the first paragraph.
Repeat your name and e-mail address at the end of the message.
Add details about your experience that directly relate to information included in the ad you are responding to.
If you have a web page, list it to show that you’re technologically savvy.
take the CPA exam in December.
figure inter/intra-company and travel expenses. I can analyze expenditures and compare
reduced so that the business could be run even more efficiently.
(www.traceymckennaacctg.com) to see the report I wrote on choosing the best method
My three years of experience at Allstate have given me the opportunity to take leadership
Tracey McKenna [email protected]
I am applying for the the Accounting position announced on IBM's Web site (jof17747). My resume is attached. I will receive a BS in accountancy from Bentley this August and plan to
I've learned to identify the best measures for fixed assets and property controls and to
them to past statements to identify trends and recommend ways that costs could be
I can use Excel to create computer graphics to provide the clear, reliable accounting data that IBM needs to continue growing each year. Please visit my web page
to accelerate depreciation
and show responsibility. I developed a procedure for making out arbitration reports which saved so much time that I was asked to teach it to the other employees in my department.
I could come to New York for an interview any Tuesday or Thursday afternoon.
Attach your resume.
Confirming pages
486 Unit Seven Job Hunting
• Put the job number or title for which you’re applying in your subject line and in the first
paragraph.
• Prepare your letter in a word-processing program with a spell-checker to make it easier
to edit and proof the document.
• Don’t send anything in all capital letters.
• Don’t use smiley faces or other emoticons.
• Put your name and e-mail address at the end of the message. Most e-mail programs
put the “sender” information at the top of the screen, but a few don’t, and you want the
employer to know whose letter this is!
Figure 28.7 An E-Mail
Application Letter
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 486loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 486 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Adaptation to Specific Company
h Is the letter addressed to a specific person (either the person specified in the ad or the person with the power to create a job for you)?
h Does the letter show your knowledge of the company and the position? h Does the letter specify the position you’re looking for?
Organization
h If you know the company is hiring, does the first paragraph indicate that you’re applying for the job and list your major qualification(s)?
h If, as far as you know, the company is not hiring, does the first paragraph catch the reader’s interest and create a bridge to talking about yourself?
h Does the last paragraph ask for an interview?
Specific Supporting Details
h Do details show that you have the basic qualifications specified in the ad? h Do details show that you can go beyond the basics to contribute to the company? h Do details separate you from other applicants?
Style and Mechanics
h Is the writing smooth, tight, and forceful? h Does the text avoid using I at the beginning of every paragraph? h Does the text use you-attitude and positive emphasis? h Is the letter free from typos and other errors?
Format and Visual Impact
h Does the letter use a standard letter format? h Is the page visually attractive, with a good mix of paragraph lengths?
Checklist for
Job Application Letters
Ad t ti
C C ff
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 487
Figure 28.8 Checklist for
Job Application Letters
Summary of Learning Objectives
• When you know that a company is hiring, send a solicited job letter. When you want a job with a company that has not announced openings, send a prospecting job letter. (LO 28-1)
• Organize a solicited letter in this way: (LO 28-2) 1. State that you’re applying for the job and tell where you
learned about the job (ad, referral, etc.). Briefly show that
you have the major qualifications required by the ad. Sum-
marize your qualifications in the order in which you plan to
discuss them in the letter.
2. Develop your major qualifications in detail.
3. Develop your other qualifications. Show what separates you
from the other applicants who will also answer the ad. Dem-
onstrate your knowledge of the organization.
4. Ask for an interview; tell when you’ll be available to be
interviewed and to begin work. End on a positive, forward-
looking note.
• Organize a prospecting letter in this way: (LO 28-2) 1. Catch the reader’s interest.
2. Create a bridge between the attention-getter and your quali-
fications. Summarize your qualifications in the order in
which you plan to discuss them in the letter.
3. Develop your strong points in detail. Relate what you’ve
done in the past to what you could do for this company.
Show that you know something about the company. Identify
the specific niche you want to fill.
4. Ask for an interview and tell when you’ll be available for
interviews. End on a positive, forward-looking note.
• In both letters, you should (LO 28-3) • Address the letter to a specific person.
• Indicate the specific position for which you’re applying.
• Be specific about your qualifications.
• Show what separates you from other applicants.
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 487loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 487 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
488 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Assignments for Module 28
28.1 How should you organize a letter in response to an announced job opening? (LO 28-2)
28.2 How should you organize a letter when the company has not announced openings? (LO 28-2)
Questions for Comprehension
28.3 Why is it important for you to separate yourself from other applicants? (LO 28-1)
28.4 Is it ethical for someone who isn’t a good writer to hire someone to “ghostwrite” the letter for him or her? (LO 28-1 to LO 28-5)
28.5 Suppose that people with your qualifications are in great demand. Is there any reason for you to take the time to write
a strong letter? (LO 28-1 to LO 28-5)
28.6 Why should you not ask for a job in the first paragraph of a prospecting letter? (LO 28-3)
28.7 Why is a good writing style particularly important in a job application letter? (LO 28-7)
Questions for Critical Thinking
• Show a knowledge of the company and the position.
• Refer to your résumé (which you would enclose with the letter).
• Ask for an interview.
• To target your letter to a specific company, check for facts about
the company, check news releases and speeches, and check the
corporate culture. (LO 28-4) • Use a T-letter if the employer prefers it. List the job requirements
and your qualifications in a two-column format. (LO 28-5) • A short letter throws away the opportunity to be persuasive; it
may also suggest that you have little to say for yourself or that
you aren’t very interested in the job. (LO 28-6) • Tighten your writing, but if you need more than one page, use
it. (LO 28-6)
• Use you-attitude by supporting general claims with specific
examples and by relating what you’ve done to what the employer
needs. Use positive emphasis to sound confident. (LO 28-7) • When a company wants an e-mail letter, make the document as
easy to access as possible. To do so, you should (LO 28-8) • Compose a document in a word-processing program and
then paste it into your e-mail screen.
• Tell what word-processing program your scannable résumé
is saved in.
• Put the job number or title for which you’re applying in your
subject line and in the first paragraph.
• Avoid all capital letters and emoticons.
• Put your name and e-mail address at the end of the message.
28.8 Analyzing First Paragraphs of Prospecting Letters (LO 28-1, LO 28-2)
Exercises and Problems
All of the following are first paragraphs in prospecting
letters written by new graduates. Evaluate the paragraphs
on these criteria:
• Is the paragraph likely to interest the reader and motivate
him or her to read the rest of the letter?
• Does the paragraph have some content that the student
can use to create a transition to talking about his or her
qualifications?
• Does the paragraph avoid asking for a job?
1. Ann Gibbs suggested that I contact you.
2. Each year, the Christmas shopping rush makes more
work for everyone at Wieboldt’s, especially for the
Credit Department. While working for Wieboldt’s
Credit Department for three Christmas and summer
vacations, the Christmas sales increase was just one of
the credit situations I became aware of.
3. Whether to plate a two-inch eyebolt with cadmium for
a tough, brilliant shine or with zinc for a rust-resistant,
less expensive finish is a tough question. But similar
questions must be answered daily by your salesmen.
With my experience in the electro-plating industry, I
can contribute greatly to your constant need of getting
customers.
4. Prudential Insurance Company did much to help my
college career, as the sponsor of my National Merit
Scholarship. Now I think I can give something back
to Prudential. I’d like to put my education, including a
degree in finance from College, to work in your invest-
ment department.
5. Since the beginning of Delta Electric Construction Co.
in 1997, the size and profits have grown steadily. My
father, being a stockholder and vice president, often dis-
cusses company dealings with me. Although the com-
pany has prospered, I understand there have been a few
problems of mismanagement. I feel with my present and
future qualifications, I could help ease these problems.
28.9 Writing a Solicited Letter (LO 28-1 to LO 28-4) Write a letter of application in response to an announced
opening for a full-time job that a new graduate could hold.
Turn in a copy of the listing. If you use option (a), (b),
or (d) below, your listing will be a copy. If you choose
option (c), you will write the listing and can design your
ideal job.
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 488loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 488 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
Module 28 Job Application Letters 489
28.10 Writing a Prospecting Letter (LO 28-1 to LO 28-4)
Pick a company you’d like to work for and apply for a spe-
cific position. The position can be one that already exists
or one that you would create if you could to match your
unique blend of talents. Give your instructor a copy of the
job description with your letter.
Address your letter to the president of a small company, the
area vice president or branch manager of a large company.
Use directories or the web to get the name and address of
the person with the power to create a job for you.
28.11 Writing a T-letter (LO 28-5) Write a T-letter. You can respond to a want ad and write
a solicited letter or choose a company you’d like to work
for and write a prospecting letter. In either case, deter-
mine the key duties required for the job, and match your
qualifications to them using description. Address the let-
ter to the appropriate person at the organization; if you
are prospecting, research the company to locate that
individual.
28.12 Improving You-Attitude and Positive Emphasis in Job Letters (LO 28-7) Revise each of these sentences to improve you-attitude and
positive emphasis. You may need to add information.
1. I understand that your company has had problems due
to the mistranslation of documents during international
ad campaigns.
2. Included in my résumé are the courses in Finance which
earned me a fairly attractive grade average.
3. I am looking for a position which gives me a chance to
advance quickly.
4. Although short on experience, I am long on effort and
enthusiasm.
5. I have been with the company from its beginning to its
present unfortunate state of bankruptcy.
a. Respond to an ad in a newspaper, in a professional jour-
nal, in the placement office, or on the web. Use an ad
that specifies the company, not a blind ad. Be sure that
you are fully qualified for the job.
b. Take a job description and assume that it represents a
current opening. Use a directory to get the name of the
person to whom the letter should be addressed.
c. If you have already worked somewhere, assume that
your employer is asking you to apply for full-time work
after graduation. Be sure to write a fully persuasive
letter.
d. Respond to one of the listings below. Use a directory
or the web to get the name and address of the person to
whom you should write.
1. Pepsi-Cola is hiring an assistant auditor. Minimum 12 hours of accounting. Work includes analysis and evalu-
ation of operating and financial controls and requires
contact with many levels of company management.
Extensive travel (50%) required through the United
States, along with some international work. Effec-
tive written and oral communication skills a must,
along with sound decision-making abilities. Locations:
Los Angeles, Dallas, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Denver,
Chicago. Refer to job FA-2534.
2. Roxy Systems ( Roxy.com ) seeks Internet Marketing Coordinators to analyze online campaigns and put together detailed reports, covering ad impressions and
click-through rates. Must have basic understanding of
marketing; be organized, creative, and detail-oriented;
know Microsoft Excel; have excellent communication
skills; and be familiar with the Internet. Send letter and
resume to [email protected] .
3. Bose Corporation seeks public relations/communi- cations administrative associate (Job Code 117BD). Write, edit, and produce the in-house newsletter using
desktop publishing software. Represent the company
to external contacts (including the press). Provide
administrative support to the manager of PR by sched-
uling meetings, preparing presentations, tabulating and
analyzing surveys, and processing financial requests.
Excellent organizational, interpersonal, and communi-
cation skills (both written and oral) required. Must be
proficient in MS Office and Filemaker Pro.
4. The Limited is hiring executive development program trainees. After completing 10-week training programs, trainees will become assistant buyers. Prefer people
with strong interest and experience in retailing. Apply
directly to the store for which you want to work.
5. A local nonprofit seeks a Coordinator of Volunteer Services. Responsibilities for this full-time position include coordinating volunteers’ schedules, recruiting
and training new volunteers, and evaluating existing
programs. Excellent listening and communication skills
required.
You-attitude (◀◀ Module 6) means that you’ll use lots of you ’s in business messages. However, use you only when it refers to your reader. When you mean “people in general,” use another
term.
Incorrect: When I visited your office, I learned that you need to find a way to manage your e-mail.
Correct: When I visited your office, I saw the importance of managing one’s e-mail.
Using You and I
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 489loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 489 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
490 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Incorrect: Older customers may not like it if you call them by their first names.
Correct: Older customers may prefer being called by courtesy titles and their last names.
Omit you when it criticizes or attacks the reader.
Not you-attitude: You didn’t turn your expense report in by the deadline.
You-attitude: Expense reports are due by the fifth of each month. We have no record of receiving your
report.
When you talk about what you’ve done, use I.
Correct: In the past month, I have completed three audits.
In general, keep I ’s to a minimum. They make you sound less confident and more self-centered.
Weak: I think that we would save money if we bought a copier instead of leasing it.
Better: We would save money by buying a copier instead of leasing it.
Weak: I want to be sure that I understand how I will be affected by this project.
Better: How will this project affect our unit?
When you write a document that focuses on you (such as a
progress report or a job application letter), vary sentence structure
so you don’t begin every sentence with I.
Correct: This job gave me the opportunity to. . . . Correct: As an intern, I. . . . Correct: Working with a team, I. . . .
When you use a first-person pronoun as part of a compound subject
or object, put the first-person pronoun last.
Correct: She asked you and me to make the presentation. Correct: You, Kelly, and I will have a chance to talk to
members of the audience before the dinner.
Be sure to use the right case. Omit the other part(s) of the
compound to see the case you should use:
She asked me.
I will have a chance.
Use the same form when you restore the other words.
Exercises
Revise the following sentences to eliminate errors and improve the
use of you and I.
1. If you think you’re so smart, you do the report.
2. Though I and you can have very different viewpoints, I always
feel we work well together.
3. Collette said that I and you need to make sure our travel
requests are in by August 1.
4. Because you didn’t make a reservation, our team will have to
stay at a different hotel in Birmingham.
5. My boss, Guy Richards, doesn’t like it if you call him by his
first name.
6. I, Franco, Miranda, and Hamilton are taking the Victoria
Clipper to Vancouver tomorrow.
7. Your error on the report almost cost us the account. Make sure
you don’t do it again.
8. You must always keep your customer in mind, I learned, if
you are to be successful in this business.
9. When I and Cooper give the presentation at Bockner and
Basche, we’ll be giving it our all.
10. I personally approve this message about my company’s commit-
ment to service that I believe is critical to my company’s success.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 490loc03261_ch28_474-490.indd 490 1/2/13 6:22 PM1/2/13 6:22 PM
Confirming pages
491
J ob interviews are scary, even when you’ve prepared thoroughly. But when you are prepared, you
can harness the adrenaline to work for you so that you put your best foot forward and get the job
you want.
Know, too, that you should feel good about yourself for making it to the interview process. Because
competition for a limited number of interview slots is often intense, being asked to interview at all is a
positive sign that the organization is interested in you. The task ahead is to show why you are the best
person for the job—to shine.
How to do that will depend on the potential employer and what you can anticipate will be expected
of you.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Job Interviews
LO 29-1 Apply strategies for job interviews.
LO 29-2 Know details for consideration before job interviews.
LO 29-3 Know techniques for practice before job interviews.
LO 29-4 Apply strategies for traditional interview question responses.
LO 29-5 Apply strategies for salary and benefits negotiations.
LO 29-6 Apply strategies for behavioral and situational interview preparation.
LO 29-7 Apply strategies for phone and video interview preparation.
Module 29 describes how best to prepare for successful job interviews. After completing the module,
you should be able to
Module
29
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 491loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 491 1/4/13 4:37 PM1/4/13 4:37 PM
Confirming pages
492 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Today many employers expect you to
• Be more assertive, but not to the point you’re showing up at offices unannounced
or having parents call on your behalf. One employer deliberately tells the company
receptionist to brush off callers who ask about advertised openings. He interviews
only those who keep calling and offer the receptionist reasons why they should be
interviewed. (However, if you’re rejected even after giving reasons, accept the rejection
gracefully.)
• Follow instructions to the letter. The owner of a delivery company tells candidates to
phone at a precise hour. Failing to do so means that the person couldn’t be trusted to
deliver packages on time. 1
• Participate in many interviews. Candidates for jobs with Electronic Arts, a maker of
computer games, first answer questions online. Then they have up to five phone
interviews—some asking candidates to solve problems or program functions. Candidates
who get that far undergo “the gauntlet”: three days of onsite interviewing. 2
• Have one or more interviews by phone, computer, or video.
• Take one or more tests, including drug tests, psychological tests, aptitude tests, computer
simulations, and essay exams where you’re asked to explain what you’d do in a specific
situation.
• Be approved by the team you’ll be joining. In companies with self-managed work
teams, the team has a say in who is hired.
• Provide—at the interview or right after it—a sample of the work you’re applying to do.
You may be asked to write a memo or a proposal, calculate a budget on a spreadsheet,
or make a presentation.
Be nice to the receptionists and secretaries you speak to. Find out the person’s name
on your first call and use it on subsequent calls. “Thank you for being so patient. Can you
tell me when a better time might be to try to get Mr. or Ms. X? I’ll try again on [date].”
Sometimes, if you call after 5 p.m., executives answer their own phones since clerical staff
members have gone home.
If you get voice mail, leave a concise message with your name and phone number. Even
if you’ve called 10 times, keep your voice pleasant. If you get voice mail repeatedly, call
the main company number to speak with a receptionist. Ask whether the person you’re
trying to reach is in the building. If he or she is on the road, ask when the person is due in.
In addition to job applicants
having their social networking
pages scrutinized by potential
employers, some are also
being asked at interviews to
supply Facebook passwords,
friend human resource
managers, or log in to a
company computer. Apps
exist to allow companies to
scan through a Facebook
page if the applicant uses it to
connect to the company site.
The legality of such practices
is being debated, but so far, no
company has been prosecuted
and desperate job seekers
may be willing to supply the
information. Said Robert
Collins, a security guard who
had to interview for his former
job after his mother’s passing
sidelined him: “I needed my job
to feed my family. I had to.”
Source: Manuel Valdes and Shannon McFarland, “Job Seekers
Getting Asked for Facebook
Passwords,” May 12, 2012, http://
finance.yahoo.com/news/job-
seekers-getting-asked-facebook-
passwords-071251682.html .
Technology is helping companies select job applicants for interviews. For example, retailers like Lowe’s, Best Buy, and Finish Line use Unicru’s
online questionnaires with True/False statements to screen for management, dependability, customer service, and sales potential among
workers. How might you answer these types of questions?
T or F “I love to help people cheer up and
feel better.”
T or F “I’d rather do things my own way
than follow the rules.”
T or F “I am good at taking charge of a
group.”
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 492loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 492 1/4/13 4:37 PM1/4/13 4:37 PM
Confirming pages
Module 29 Job Interviews 493
Why do I need an interview strategy? LO 29-1
▶ So that you can be proactive!
Develop an overall strategy based on your answers to these three questions:
1. What about yourself do you want the interviewer to know? Pick two to five points that represent your strengths for that particular job. These facts may be achievements,
character traits (such as enthusiasm), experiences that qualify you for the job and
separate you from other applicants, the fact that you really want to work for this
company, and so on. For each strength, think of a specific action or accomplishment
to support it. For example, be ready to give an example to prove that you’re “hard
working.” Show how you helped an organization save money or serve customers better.
Then at the interview, listen to every question to see if you could make one of your
key points as part of your answer. If the questions don’t allow you to make your points,
bring them up at the end of the interview.
2. What disadvantages or weaknesses do you need to minimize? Expect that you may be asked to explain weaknesses or apparent weaknesses in your record: lack of
experience, so-so grades, or gaps in your record.
3. What do you need to know about the job and the organization to decide whether to accept this job if it is offered to you?
What details should I think about? LO 29-2
▶ What you’ll wear, what you’ll take with you, and how to get there.
Inappropriate clothing or being late can cost you a job. Put enough time into planning
details so you can move on to substantive planning.
What to Wear
Your interview clothing should be at least as formal as the clothing of the person likely to
interview you. When the interview is scheduled, ask the person who invites you whether
the company has a dress policy. If the dress is “casual,” wear a shirt and a good-quality
skirt or pants, not jeans.
If you’re interviewing for a management or office job, wear a business suit. What kind of
suit? If you’ve got good taste and a good eye for color, follow your instincts. If fashion isn’t
your strong point, read John Molloy’s New Dress for Success (men’s clothes) and The New Woman’s Dress for Success Book. Perhaps the best suggestion in the books is his advice to visit expensive stores, noting details—the exact shade of blue in a suit, the number of buttons
on the sleeve, the placement of pockets, the width of lapels—and then go to stores in your
price range and buy a suit that has the details found on more expensive clothing.
For onsite interviews, show that you understand the corporate culture. Paul Capelli,
former public relations executive at Amazon.com and now vice president of public rela-
tions at CNBC, suggests that applicants find out what employees wear “and notch it up
one step”:
If the dress is jeans and a T-shirt, wear slacks and an open collar shirt. . . . If it’s slacks and
an open collar shirt, throw on a sport coat. If it’s a sport coat, throw on a suit. At least match
it and go one step up, but don’t go three steps down. 3
Choose comfortable shoes. You may do a fair amount of walking during an onsite
interview.
Take care of all the details. Check your heels to make sure they aren’t run down; make
sure your shoes are shined. Have your hair cut or styled conservatively. Jewelry and
makeup should be understated. Personal hygiene must be impeccable. If you wear cologne
or perfume, keep it to a minimum.
According to researchers, plain
people earn up to 10% less than
people of average looks, who
in turn earn up to 8% less than
those considered good looking.
Of course, beauty is in the eye
of the beholder. Author Gordon
Wainright says people can
increase attractiveness through
good posture, clothing, behavior,
eye contact, and listening skills.
Looks can hurt, too. In one study,
people taken with Governor
Sarah Palin’s appearance
correspondingly rated her lower
in competence and intelligence
than her competitors.
Sources: Kate Lorenz, “Do Pretty People Earn More?” downloaded
on December 11, 2007, at http://
www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/
careerbytes/CBArticle.aspx?articleI
D_312&cbRecursionCnt_1&cbsid_
da6166fef63b43a6889364728cba
126a-250727339-TF-4&ns_siteid_
ns_us_g_do_attractive_people , and
www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/
careerbytes/CBArticle.aspx?artic
leID_312&cbRecursionCnt_1&cb
sid_da6166fef63b43a6889364728
cba126a-250727339-TF-4&ns_
siteid_ns_us_g_do_attractive_
people ; and Ben Smith, “Did Palin’s
Looks Hurt?” March 5, 2009, http://
news.yahoo.com/s/politico/30276 .
Research carefully an
organization’s dress code.
Swiss bank UBS AG required
female employees to wear
skin-colored undergarments
and advised them on how to
apply makeup and fingernail
polish. For men, the company
required haircuts every month
and specified how to tie their
ties. After public scrutiny, many
of the rules were revised.
Source: “Swiss Bank UBS Changes Much-Mocked Dress
Code,” January 17, 2011,
http://news.yahoo.com/s/
ap/20110117/ap_on_bi_ge/
eu_switzerland_ubs_dress_code .
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 493loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 493 1/4/13 4:38 PM1/4/13 4:38 PM
Confirming pages
494 Unit Seven Job Hunting
What to Bring to the Interview
Bring extra copies of your résumé. If your campus placement office has already given the
interviewer a data sheet, present the résumé at the beginning of the interview: “I thought
you might like a little more information about me.”
Bring something to write on and something to write with. It’s OK to bring in a small
notepad with the questions you want to ask on it.
Bring copies of your work or a portfolio: an engineering design, a copy of a memo you
wrote on a job or in a business writing class, an article you wrote for the campus paper.
You don’t need to present these unless the interview calls for them, but they can be very
effective.
Bring the names, addresses, and phone numbers of references if you didn’t put them
on your résumé. Bring complete details about your work history and education, including
dates and street addresses, in case you’re asked to fill out an application form.
If you can afford it, buy a briefcase to carry these items. At the start of your career, an
inexpensive briefcase is acceptable.
Note-Taking
During or immediately after the interview, write down
• The name of the interviewer (or all the people you talked to, if it’s a group interview or
an onsite visit).
• What the interviewer seemed to like best about you.
• Any negative points or weaknesses that came up that you need to counter in your
follow-up letter or phone calls.
• Answers to your questions about the company.
• When you’ll hear from the company.
The easiest way to get the interviewer’s name is to ask for his or her card. You may be
able to make all the notes you need on the back of the card.
Some interviewers say that they respond negatively to applicants who take notes during
the interview. However, if you have several interviews back-to-back or if you know your
memory is terrible, do take brief notes during the interview. That’s better than forgetting
which company said you’d be on the road every other week and which interviewer asked
that you get in touch with him or her.
How to Get There
If you’re going to a place you haven’t been before, do a practice run at the same time of day
your interview is scheduled for. Check out bus transfers or parking fees. On the day of the
interview, leave early enough so that you’ll get to the interview 15 minutes early. Use the
extra time to check your appearance in the restroom mirror and to thumb through the com-
pany publications in the waiting room. If an accident does delay you, call to say you’ll be late.
Should I practice before the interview? LO 29-3
▶ Absolutely!
Your interviewing skills will improve with practice. Rehearse everything you can: put
on the clothes you’ll wear and practice entering a room, shaking hands, sitting down, and
answering questions. Ask a friend to interview you. Saying answers out loud is surpris-
ingly harder than saying them in your head.
Some campuses have videotaping facilities so you can watch your own sample inter-
view. Videotaping is more valuable if you can do it at least twice; you can modify behavior
the second time and check the tape to see whether the modification works.
Bring work samples, résumé
copies, and, of course, yourself
to the interview, but think twice
about anything detrimental,
including emotional baggage.
One candidate bad-mouthed a
former boss, who she claimed
“scarred me emotionally.”
The candidate’s reputation for
being difficult eventually caught
up with her. Other strange
things to share are being in
anger management for hitting a
former co-worker, fighting with
your spouse on the way to the
interview, and having locked a
mentally ill patient in a room to
teach him a lesson.
Source: Kelly Eggers, “Ten Dumb Things Said During Job interviews,”
The Wall Street Journal, March 15,
2012, http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB1000142405297020478180457
7272044012778530.html .
Instant Replay
Interview Strategy
Plan an interview strategy
based on these three
questions:
1. What two to five facts
about yourself do you want
the interviewer to know?
2. What disadvantages or
weaknesses do you need
to overcome or minimize?
3. What do you need to
know about the job and
the organization to decide
whether or not you want to
accept this job if it is offered
to you?
I R
Interview St
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 494loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 494 1/4/13 4:38 PM1/4/13 4:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 29 Job Interviews 495
How to Act
Should you “be yourself”? There’s no point in assuming a radically different persona. If
you do, you run the risk of getting into a job that you’ll hate (though the persona you
assumed might have loved it). On the other hand, all of us have several selves: we can be
lazy, insensitive, bored, slow-witted, and tongue-tied, but we can also be energetic, percep-
tive, interested, intelligent, and articulate. Be your best self at the interview. Interviews can make you feel vulnerable and defensive; to counter this, review your
accomplishments—the things you’re especially proud of having done. You’ll make a better
impression if you have a firm sense of your own self-worth.
Every interviewer repeats the advice that mothers often give: sit up straight, don’t mum-
ble, look at people when you talk. It’s good advice for interviews. Be aware that many
people respond negatively to smoking.
Office visits that involve meals and semisocial occasions call for sensible choices. When
you order, choose something that’s easy and unmessy to eat. Watch your table manners.
Eat a light lunch, with no alcohol, so that you’ll be alert during the afternoon. At dinner or
an evening party, decline alcohol if you don’t drink or are underage. If you do drink, accept
just one drink—you’re still being evaluated. Be aware that some people respond negatively
to applicants who drink hard liquor.
Parts of the Interview
Every interview has an opening, a body, and a close.
In the opening (two to five minutes), good interviewers will try to set you at ease. Some interviewers will open with easy questions about your major or interests. Others open by
telling you about the job or the company. If this happens, listen so you can answer later ques-
tions to show that you can do the job or contribute to the company that’s being described.
The body of the interview (10 to 25 minutes) is an all-too-brief time for you to high- light your qualifications and find out what you need to know to decide if you want to
accept a second interview. Expect questions that allow you to showcase your strong points
and questions that probe any weaknesses evident from your résumé. (You were neither in
school nor working last fall. What were you doing?) Normally, the interviewer will also try
to sell you on the company and give you an opportunity to raise questions.
Be aware of time so you can make sure to get in your key points and questions: “We
haven’t covered it yet, but I want you to know that I. . . .” “I’m aware that it’s almost 10:30.
I do have some more questions that I’d like to ask about the company.”
In the close of the interview (two to five minutes), the interviewer will usually tell you what happens next: “We’ll be bringing our top candidates to the office in February. You
should hear from us in three weeks.” One interviewer reports that he gives applicants his
card and tells them to call him. “It’s a test to see if they are committed, how long it takes
for them to call, and whether they even call at all.” 4
Close with an assertive statement. Depending on the circumstances, you could say: “I’ve
certainly enjoyed learning more about General Electric.” “I hope I get a chance to visit your
Phoenix office. I’d really like to see the new computer system you talked about.” “This job
seems to be a good match between what you’re looking for and what I’d like to do.”
Stress Interviews
A stress interview deliberately puts the applicant under stress. If the stress is physical (e.g., you’re given a chair where the light is in your eyes), be assertive: Move to another
chair or tell the interviewer that the behavior bothers you.
Usually the stress is psychological. A group of interviewers fire rapid questions. A sin-
gle interviewer probes every weak spot in the applicant’s record and asks questions that
elicit negatives. If you get questions that put you on the defensive, rephrase them in less inflammatory terms, if necessary, and then treat them as requests for information.
Site to See
Go to
http://jobsearchtech.about .com/od/interviewtips/
for links to resources on
the web for successful job
interviews.
Go to
According to a CareerBuilder
survey, 70% of the 850 hiring
managers polled said they’d
experienced at least one weird,
strange, or bizarre behavior
during an interview that ruined
the chances of the applicant
getting a job offer.
Source: Joshua Bjerke, “How NOT to Act at a Job
Interview,” March 26, 2012,
http://www.recruiter.com/i/
how-not-to-act-at-a-job-interview/ .
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 495loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 495 1/4/13 4:38 PM1/4/13 4:38 PM
Confirming pages
496 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Q: Why did you major in physical education? That sounds like a pretty Mickey Mouse
major.
A: You’re asking whether I have the academic preparation for this job. I started out in
physical education because I’ve always loved sports. I learned that I couldn’t graduate
on time if I officially switched to business administration because the requirements
were different in the two programs. But I do have 21 hours in business administration
and 9 hours in accounting. And my sports experience gives me practical training in
teamwork, motivating people, and management.
Respond assertively. The candidates who survive are those who stand up for themselves
and who explain why indeed they are worth hiring. Silence can also create stress. One woman walked into her scheduled interview to find a
male interviewer with his feet up on the desk. He said, “It’s been a long day. I’m tired and I
want to go home. You have five minutes to sell yourself.” Since she had planned the points
she wanted to be sure interviewers knew, she was able to do this. “Your recruiting brochure
said that you’re looking for someone with a major in accounting and a minor in finance. As
you may remember from my résumé, I’m majoring in accounting and have had 12 hours in
finance. I’ve also served as treasurer of a local campaign committee and have worked as a
volunteer tax preparer through the Accounting Club.” When she finished, the interviewer
told her it was a test: “I wanted to see how you’d handle it.”
Increasingly common is the variety of stress interview that asks you to do—on the
spot—the kind of thing the job would require. An interviewer for a sales job handed appli-
cants a ballpoint pen and said,
“Sell me this pen.” (It’s OK to ask who the target market is and whether this is a
repeat or a new customer.) Candidates who make it through the first two rounds of inter-
views for sales jobs at Dataflex are invited to participate in a week’s worth of sales
meetings, which start at 7 am four times a week. The people who do participate—not
merely attend—are the people who get hired. 5 AT&T asks some applicants to deliver
presentations or lead meetings. Massachusetts Mutual Life asked the finalists for a vice
presidency to process memos and reports in a two-hour in-basket exercise and participate
in several role plays. 6
How should I answer traditional interview questions? LO 29-4
▶ Choose answers that fit your qualifications and your interview strategy.
As Figure 29.1 shows, successful applicants use different communication behaviors than
do unsuccessful applicants. Successful applicants are more likely to use the company name
during the interview, support their claims with specific details, and ask specific questions
about the company and the industry. In addition to practicing the content of questions, try
to incorporate these tactics.
The following questions frequently come up at interviews. Do some unpressured think-
ing before the interview so you’ll be able to come up with answers that are responsive,
honest, and paint a good picture of you. Choose answers that fit your qualifications and
your interview strategy. See Figures 29.2 and 29.3 for examples of the ways recruiters
evaluate answers.
1. Tell me about yourself. Don’t launch into an autobiography. Instead, state the things about yourself that you
want the interviewer to know. Give specifics to prove each of your strengths.
2. What makes you think you’re qualified to work for this company? Or, I’m interviewing 120 people for 2 jobs. Why should I hire you?
This question may feel like an attack. Use it as an opportunity to state your strong
points: your qualifications for the job, the things that separate you from other applicants.
According to the website
Glassdoor, consulting firm
McKinsey & Company
apparently has the toughest
interview process, asking such
questions as “There are three
products: tomatoes, luxury
cars, T-shirts. What value
added tax is applied to each
product type?” and getting
a 62% positive experience
rating from interviewees.
A job candidate at Boston
Consulting Group found
himself facing an interviewer
who put his sockless feet up
on the desk and ate a bowl
of soup while talking. Stress
interviews can be challenging,
but research on the company
and business market can help
prepare applicants for them.
Source: Jacquelyn Smith, “The Companies that Give the Toughest
Job Interviews,” Forbes, July 26,
2012, http://www.forbes.com/sites/
jacquelynsmith/2012/07/26/the-
companies-that-give-the-toughest-
job-interviews/ .
Trainer Scott Peek
recommends job interviewees
prepare themselves with a
“verbal résumé,” or a two-
minute oral presentation
that addresses the “tell me
about yourself” portion of the
interview. The hardest part?
Matching past experiences
to the employer’s needs, for
which research and you-
attitude are crucial.
Source: Bill Zeeble, “What’s a Two-Minute Verbal Résumé?”
KERA News, January 1, 2010,
http://www.publicbroadcasting
.net/kera/news.newsmain/
article/1/0/1603130/North.Texas/
What%27s.a.Two-Minute.Verbal
.Resume .
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 496loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 496 1/4/13 4:38 PM1/4/13 4:38 PM
Confirming pages
Module 29 Job Interviews 497
Figure 29.1 The Communication Behaviors of Successful Interviewees
Behavior Unsuccessful Interviewees Successful Interviewees
Statements about the position Had only vague ideas of what they wanted
to do; changed “ideal job” up to six times
during the interview.
Specific and consistent about the position
they wanted; were able to tell why they
wanted the position.
Use of company name Rarely used the company name. Referred to the company by name four times
as often as unsuccessful interviewees.
Knowledge about company and
position
Made it clear that they were using the
interview to learn about the company and
what it offered.
Made it clear that they had researched the
company; referred to specific brochures,
journals, or people who had given them
information.
Level of interest, enthusiasm Responded neutrally to interviewer’s
statements: “OK,” “I see.” Indicated
reservations about company or location.
Expressed approval of information provided
by the interviewer nonverbally and verbally;
“That’s great!” Explicitly indicated desire to
work for this particular company.
Nonverbal behavior Made little eye contact; smiled
infrequently.
Made eye contact often; smiled.
Picking up on interviewer’s cues Gave vague or negative answers even
when a positive answer was clearly
desired (“How are your math skills?”).
Answered positively and confidently—and
backed up the claim with a specific example
of “problem solving” or “toughness.”
Response to topic shift by interviewer Resisted topic shift. Accepted topic shift.
Use of industry terms and technical
jargon
Used almost no technical jargon. Used technical jargon: “point of purchase
display,” “NCR charge,” “two-column
approach,” “direct mail.”
Use of specifics in answers Gave short answers—10 words or
less, sometimes only one word; did not
elaborate. Gave general responses: “fairly
well.”
Supported claims with specific personal
experiences, comparisons, statistics,
statements of teachers and employers.
Questions asked by interviewee Asked a small number of general
questions.
Asked specific questions based on
knowledge of the industry and the company.
Personalized questions: “What would my
duties be?”
Control of time and topics Interviewee talked 37% of the interview
time; initiated 36% of the comments.
Interviewee talked 55% of the total time,
initiated subjects 56% of the time.
Sources: Based on research reported by Lois J. Einhorn, “An Inner View of the Job Interview: An Investigation of Successful Communicative Behaviors,”
Communication Education 30 (July 1981), 217–28; and Robert W. Elder and Michael M. Harris, eds., The Employment Interview Handbook (Thousand Oaks,
CA: Sage, 1999), 300, 303, 327–28.
3. What two or three accomplishments have given you the greatest satisfaction? Pick accomplishments that you’re proud of, that create the image you want to project,
and that enable you to share one of the things you want the interviewer to know about
you. Focus not just on the end result, but on the problem-solving and thinking skills
that made the achievement possible.
4. Why do you want to work for us? What is your ideal job? Even if you’re interviewing just for practice, make sure you have a good answer—
preferably two or three reasons you’d like to work for that company. If you don’t seem
to be taking the interview seriously, the interviewer won’t take you seriously, and you
won’t even get good practice.
5. What college courses did you like best and least? Why? This question may be an icebreaker; it may be designed to discover the kind of
applicant they’re looking for. If your favorite class was something outside your
program, prepare an answer that shows that you have qualities that can help you in
the job you’re applying for: “My favorite class was on the American novel. We got a
Instant Replay
What Successful
Interviewees Do
Successful applicants
• Know what they want to do.
• Use the company name in
the interview.
• Have researched the
company in advance.
• Back up claims with
specifics.
• Use technical jargon.
• Ask specific questions.
• Talk more of the time.
I R
What Succe
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 497loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 497 1/4/13 4:39 PM1/4/13 4:39 PM
Figure 29.2 Poor
Responses to Behavioral
Interview Questions
Source: Adapted from Fast Company, January 1999, 156.
Carolyn Murray ([email protected]), 37, a savvy recruiter at W. L. Gore & Associates, developers of GORE-TEX, pays little attention to a candidate’s carefully scripted responses to her admittedly softball
questions. Instead, she listens for a throwaway line that reveals the reality behind an otherwise benign reply.
Herewith, Murray delivers a post-game analysis of how three job candidates whiffed during their interviews.
Figure 29.3 Good
Responses to Interview
Questions
Source: Adapted from Fast Company, January 1999, 157.
Confirming pages
498 Unit Seven Job Hunting
chance to think on our own, rather than just regurgitate facts; we made presentations
to the class every week. I found I really like sharing my ideas with other people and
presenting reasons for my conclusions about something.”
6. Why are your grades so low? If possible, show that the cause of low grades now has been solved or isn’t relevant
to the job you’re applying for: “My father almost died last year, and my schoolwork
really suffered.” “When I started, I didn’t have any firm goals. Once I discovered
the program that was right for me, my grades have all been ‘Bs’ or better.” “I’m not
Students coming from
homes that appreciate in
value are more likely to go
to more expensive colleges
than those in homes
whose value remained
unchanged, according to
Cornell University’s Michael
Lovenheim. Ironically, students
going to more expensive
schools may have less debt.
A Boston College graduate,
for instance, carries less than
$20,000 in debt, compared to
the $22,900 national average.
Source: Erin Zlomek, “The Wealth Effect and College Choice,”
Bloomberg Businessweek, August
3, 2012, http://www.businessweek
.com/articles/2012-08-03/the-
wealth-effect-and-college-choice .
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 498loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 498 1/4/13 8:03 PM1/4/13 8:03 PM
Confirming pages
Module 29 Job Interviews 499
good at multiple-choice tests. But you need someone who can work with people, not
someone who can take tests.”
7. What have you read recently? What movies have you seen recently? These questions may be icebreakers; they may be designed to probe your intellectual
depth. The term you’re interviewing, read at least one book or magazine (regularly)
and see at least one movie that you could discuss at an interview.
8. Show me some samples of your writing. The year you’re interviewing, go through your old papers and select the best ones,
retyping them if necessary, so you’ll have samples if you’re asked for them. Show
interviewers essays, reports, or business documents, not poetry or song lyrics.
If you don’t have samples at the interview, mail them to the interviewer immediately
after the interview.
9. Where do you see yourself in five years? Employers ask this question to find out if you are a self-starter or if you passively
respond to what happens. You may want to have several scenarios for five years from
now to use in different kinds of interviews. Or you may want to say, “Well, my goals
may change as opportunities arise. But right now, I want to. . . .”
10. What are your interests outside work? What campus or community activities have you been involved in? While it’s desirable to be well-rounded, naming 10 interests is a mistake: The interviewer may wonder when you’ll have time to work.
If you mention your fiancé, spouse, or children in response to this question (“Well,
my fiancé and I like to go sailing”), it is perfectly legal for the interviewer to ask
follow-up questions (“What would you do if your spouse got a job offer in another
town?”), even though the same question would be illegal if the interviewer brought up
the subject first.
11. What have you done to learn about this company? An employer may ask this to see what you already know about the company (if you’ve
read the recruiting literature, the interviewer doesn’t need to repeat it). This question
may also be used to see how active a role you’re taking in the job search and how
interested you are in this job.
12. What adjectives would you use to describe yourself? Use only positive ones. Be ready to illustrate each with a specific example of something
you’ve done.
13. What is your greatest strength? Employers ask this question to give you a chance to sell yourself and to learn
something about your values. Pick a strength related to work, school, or activities:
“I’m good at working with people.” “I really can sell things.” “I’m good at solving
problems.” “I learn quickly.” “I’m reliable. When I say I’ll do something, I do it.” Be
ready to illustrate each with a specific example of something you’ve done.
14. What is your greatest weakness? Use a work-related negative, even if something in your personal life really is your
greatest weakness. Interviewers won’t let you get away with a “weakness” like being
a workaholic or just not having any experience yet. Instead, use one of the following
three strategies:
a. Discuss a weakness that is not related to the job you’re being considered for and
which will not be needed even when you’re promoted. End your answer with a
positive that is related to the job:
[For a creative job in advertising:] I don’t like accounting. I know it’s important, but I
don’t like it. I even hire someone to do my taxes. I’m much more interested in being
creative and working with people, which is why I find this position interesting.
[For a job in administration:] I don’t like selling products. I hated selling cookies when
I was a Girl Scout. I’d much rather work with ideas—and I really like selling the ideas
that I believe in.
Among the worst questions
members of the Women’s
Professional Network group on
LinkedIn cited being asked were
• Would you rather fight a
tiger or a shark?
• How many gas stations are
located in the U.S.?
• I only brought you in
because we need to
interview some women for
this position. Oh, and can
you fill out that EEOC form
on your way out?
• Would you feel comfortable
attending functions in the all-
white section of the city?
While some such questions
may be legitimate ones for
stress interviews, they come
loaded with the potential to
baffle or offend regardless.
Some invite legal repercussions.
Source: Shlomo Sprung, “LinkedIn Users Share the 15 Most Ridiculous
Interview Questions They’ve Ever
Been Asked,” July 13, 2012,
http://www.businessinsider.com/
the-worst-interview-questions-ever-
asked-2012-7 .
Site to See
Go to
www.student-affairs .buffalo.edu/career/intv .php
If you’re asked an illegal
interview question, Rochelle
Kaplan advises that you figure
out what job-related concern
it may mask and allay that
concern.
Go to
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 499loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 499 1/4/13 4:39 PM1/4/13 4:39 PM
Confirming pages
500 Unit Seven Job Hunting
b. Discuss a weakness that you are working to improve:
In the past, I wasn’t a good writer. But last term I took a course in business writing that
taught me how to organize my ideas and how to revise. I may never win a Pulitzer Prize,
but now I’m a lot more confident that I can write effective reports and memos.
c. Discuss a work-related weakness:
I procrastinate. Fortunately, I work well under pressure, but a couple of times I’ve really
put myself in a bind.
15. Why are you looking for another job? Stress what you’re looking for in a new job, not why you want to get away from your
old one.
If you were fired, say so. There are four acceptable ways to explain why you were fired:
a. You lost your job, along with many others, when the company downsized due to
economic reasons.
b. It wasn’t a good match. Add what you now know you need in a job, and ask what
the employer can offer in this area.
c. You and your supervisor had a personality conflict. Make sure you show that this
was an isolated incident, and that you normally get along well with people.
d. You made mistakes, but you’ve learned from them and are now ready to work well.
Be ready to offer a specific anecdote proving that you have indeed changed.
16. What questions do you have? This gives you a chance to cover things the interviewer hasn’t brought up; it also gives
the interviewer a sense of your priorities and values. Don’t focus on salary or fringe
benefits. Better questions are
• What would I be doing on a day-to-day basis?
• What kind of training program do you have? If, as I’m rotating among departments,
I find that I prefer one area, can I specialize in it when the training program is over?
• How do you evaluate employees? How often do you review them? Where would
you expect a new trainee (banker, staff accountant) to be three years from now?
• What happened to the last person who had this job?
Benefits, working conditions, and the work itself are just as important as salary in evaluating job offers.
Copyright © Danny Shanahan/The New Yorker Collection, www.cartoonbank.com .
Site to See
Go to
http://esl.about.com/ library/weekly/aa120797 .htm
Essential Job Interview
English II has good advice for
everyone.
Go to
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 500loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 500 1/4/13 4:39 PM1/4/13 4:39 PM
The best time to negotiate for salary and benefits is after you
have the job offer. Try to delay discussing salary early in the
interview process, when you’re still competing against other
applicants.
Useful Sites for Negotiating Salary
www.wageweb.com
Detailed salary data for several fields
www.salary.com
Median, high, low salary data, searchable by job and city
www.datamasters.com
Cost of living in various cities
Prepare for salary negotiations by finding out what the
going rate is for the kind of work you hope to do. Cultivate
friends in the workforce to find out what they’re making.
If your campus has a placement office, ask what last year’s
graduates got. Check websites and trade journals for salaries,
often segmented into entry-level, median, and high salaries
and even by city. Research is crucial. Budgets for salaries
among large companies may be stagnant or growing feebly.
Consulting firm Mercer expects raises to average 2.9% in
2013, up slightly from 2.7% in both 2011 and 2012 but still
below inflation.
If the interviewer asks you about your salary requirements
before a job offer has been made, try this response: “I’m sure
your firm can pay me what I’m worth.” Then either ask about
pay ranges or go back to your qualifications for the job. If
the interviewer demands a response, give a range using spe-
cific increments based on your research: “I’d expect to make
between $37,300 and $41,900.” As you say this, watch the interviewer. If he or she has that blank look we use to hide dismay, you may have asked for much more than the company
was planning to offer. Quickly continue, “. . . depending, of
course, on fringe benefits and how quickly I could be pro-
moted. However, salary isn’t the most important criterion for
me in choosing a job, and I won’t necessarily accept the high-
est offer I get. I’m interested in going somewhere where I
can get good experience and use my talents to make a real
contribution.”
The best way to get more money is to convince the employer
you’re worth it. During interviews, show what you can do that
the competition can’t. Work to redefine the position in the
employer’s eyes from a low-level, anybody-could-do-it job to
a complex combination of duties that only someone with your
particular mix of talents could do.
After you have the offer, begin negotiating salary and ben-
efits. You’re in the strongest position when (1) you’ve done
your homework and know what the usual salary and benefits
are and (2) you can walk away from this offer if it doesn’t
meet your needs. Again, avoid naming a specific salary. Don’t
say you can’t accept less. Instead, Kate Wendleton suggests, say
you “would find it difficult to accept the offer” under the terms
first offered.
Negotiate a package, not just a starting salary. A company
that truly can’t pay any more money now might be able to
review you for promotion sooner than usual, pay your mov-
ing costs, or give you a better job title. Some companies offer
fringe benefits that may compensate for lower taxable income:
use of a company car, reimbursements for education, child care
or elder care subsidies, or help in finding a job for your spouse
or partner. And think about your career, not just the initial sal-
ary. Sometimes a low-paying job that will provide superb expe-
rience will do more for your career (and your long-term earning
prospects) than a high salary now with no room to grow.
Work toward a win–win solution. You want the employer to
be happy that you’re coming on board and to feel that you’ve
behaved maturely and professionally.
Once you’re on the job, learn to “sell yourself” when seek-
ing a raise. Network to keep track of what your skills and expe-
rience are worth in the marketplace; update your résumé at least
once a year. Stay abreast of changes in the marketplace, includ-
ing the effects of globalization on jobs in your field. Deb Koen
recommends this strategy for asking for a raise:
• Build a solid business case for yourself, focusing on your
value in dollars.
• Analyze your manager’s style to work with him or her for a
productive negotiation.
• Know your bottom line, including what you want and what
you might do if you don’t get it.
Sources: Steven Sloan, “How to Improve Your Chances of Securing a Pay Raise,” The Wall Street Journal, August 5, 2005, downloaded at www .careerjournal.com/salaryhiring/negotiate/20050805-sloan.html ; Diane
Stafford, “Forecast for 2013 Pay Raises Is 2.9%,” The Kansas City Star, August 2, 2012, http://www.kansascity.com/2012/08/02/3738988/2013-
payraise-forecast-29-percent.html . Kate Wendleton, Through the Brick Wall: How to Job-Hunt in a Tight Market (New York: Villard Books, 1992), 278; Rachel Emma Silverman, “Great Expectations,” The Wall Street Journal, July 25, 2000, B10; Suzanne Koudsi, “You Want More,” Fortune, April 29, 2002, 177–78; and Deb Koen, “Learn to ‘Sell’ Yourself When Seeking a Raise,” The Wall Street Journal, downloaded at www.careerjournal.com/columnists/qanda/salaryissues/20040618-
qandasalaryissues.html on October 2, 2005.
Building a Critical Skill
Negotiating Salary and Benefits LO 29-5
Confirming pages
501
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 501loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 501 1/4/13 4:39 PM1/4/13 4:39 PM
Confirming pages
502 Unit Seven Job Hunting
• How are interest rates (a new product from competitors, imports, demographic
trends, government regulation, etc.) affecting your company?
• How would you describe the company’s culture?
• This sounds like a great job. What are the drawbacks?
Increasingly, candidates are asking about work–life balance and about the control
they’ll have over their own work:
• Do people who work for you have a life off the job?
• If my job requires too much travel, can I change without doing serious damage to my
career?
• What support can you offer my significant other?
• Do you offer flextime?
• How much pressure do you have to achieve your projects? How much freedom is there
to extend a deadline? 7
You won’t be able to anticipate every question you may get. (One interviewer asked
applicants, “What vegetable would you like to be?” Another asked, “If you were a cookie,
what kind of cookie would you be?” 8 ) Check with other people who have interviewed
recently to find out what questions are being asked in your field.
How can I prepare for behavioral and situational interviews? LO 29-6
▶ Think about skills you’ve used that could transfer to other jobs.
▶ Learn as much as you can about the culture of the company you hope to join.
Many companies are now using behavioral or situational interviews. Behavioral interviews ask the applicant to describe actual behaviors, rather than plans or general prin- ciples. Thus, instead of asking, “How would you motivate people?” the interviewer might
ask, “Tell me what happened the last time you wanted to get other people to do something.”
Follow-up questions might include, “What exactly did you do to handle the situation? How
did you feel about the results? How did the other people feel? How did your superior feel
about the results?” In your answer,
• Describe the situation.
• Tell what you did.
• Describe the outcome.
• Show that you understand the implications of what you did and how you might modify
your behavior in other situations.
For example, if you did the extra work yourself when a team member didn’t do his or
her share, does that fact suggest that you prefer to work alone? If the organization you’re
interviewing with values teams, you may want to go on to show why doing the extra work
was appropriate in that situation but that you can respond differently in other situations.
Figure 29.4 lists common behavioral interview questions.
Situational interviews put you in a situation that allows the interviewer to see whether you have the qualities the company is seeking. For example, Southwest Airlines found that
95% of the complaints it received were provoked by only 5% of its personnel. When man-
agers explored further, they found that these 5% of employees were self-centered. To weed
out self-centered applicants, Southwest now puts several candidates into a room and asks
each to give a five-minute speech on “Why I Want to Work with Southwest Airlines.” But
the interviewers watch the audience to hire the people who are pulling for other speakers to do well, as opposed to those who are only thinking about their own performance.
9
Situational interviews may also be conducted using traditional questions but evaluating
behaviors other than the answers. Greyhound hired applicants for its customer-assistance
Jason Fried of 37signals,
a Chicago-based software
firm, advises hiring managers
to screen out interviewees
who ask “how” questions in
favor of those that ask “why”
questions, which indicate
independent thinking.
Source: “Hiring Tool Kit 2011: The Best and Worst Interview
Questions,” Inc., downloaded
on August 11, 2012, at http://
www.inc.com/ss/best-and-worst-
interview-questions#9 .
Raises are usually set as a
percentage of your current
salary. If you work for
40 years, getting an extra
$2,000 in salary on your first
job could yield $15,000 of
extra income in compounded
raises. Similarly, when you
enter the job market can have
a profound effect on your
income. For example, Yale
University’s Lisa Kahn studied
how white men fared with
regard to the 1980s recession.
In reviewing the numbers, she
found that a man graduating
in December 1982, when
unemployment was 10.8%,
averaged 23% less his first
year out of college and 6.6%
less 18 years later than a man
graduating in May 1981, when
unemployment was 7.5%. The
difference in dollars? $100,000.
Source: Christine Larson, “Why the Wage Gap?” Executive Female, April/
May 2002, 27; and Sam Murray,
“The Curse of the Class of 2009,”
The Wall Street Journal, May 9,
2009, http://online.wsj.com/article/
SB124181970915002009.html .
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 502loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 502 1/4/13 4:39 PM1/4/13 4:39 PM
Confirming pages
Module 29 Job Interviews 503
Figure 29.4 Behavioral Interview Questions
Describe a situation in which you
1. Created an opportunity for yourself in a job or volunteer position.
2. Used writing to achieve your goal.
3. Went beyond the call of duty to get a job done.
4. Communicated successfully with someone you disliked.
5. Had to make a decision quickly.
6. Overcame a major obstacle.
7. Took a project from start to finish.
8. Were unable to complete a project on time.
9. Used good judgment and logic in solving a problem.
10. Worked under a tight deadline.
11. Worked with a tough boss.
12. Handled a difficult situation with a co-worker.
13. Made an unpopular decision.
14. Gave a presentation.
15. Worked with someone who wasn’t doing his or her share of the work.
center who made eye contact with the interviewer and smiled at least five times during a
15-minute interview. 10
How can I prepare for phone or video interviews? LO 29-7
▶ Practice short answers. Retape until you look good.
Try to schedule phone interviews for home, not work, and for a time when things will be
quiet. If a company wants to interview you on the spot, accept only if the timing is good. If
it isn’t, say so: “We just sat down to dinner. Could you call back in 30 minutes?” Then get
your information about the company, ask the kids to be quiet, and get your thoughts in order.
To prepare for a phone interview,
• Tape yourself so you can make any adjustments in pronunciation and voice qualities.
• Practice short answers to questions. After giving a short answer in the interview, say,
“Would you like more information?” Without a visual channel, you can’t see the body
language that tells you someone else wants to speak.
Two kinds of video interviews exist. The first kind is a live interview using videocon-
ferencing equipment. For this kind of interview, use the same guidelines for a phone inter-
view. In the second kind, the company sends a list of questions, asking the applicant to tape
the responses.
If you’re asked to prepare a videotape,
• Practice your answers.
• Tape the interview as many times as necessary to get a tape that presents you at your
best.
• Be specific. Since the employer can’t ask follow-up questions, you need to be detailed
about how your credentials could help the employer.
For both interviews, smile when you talk to put more energy into your voice.
While virtual interviews through
Skype and other tools are
making it easier for companies
and job applicants to connect,
they’re also creating problems.
Recruiter Kelly Yang points out
that early on, people seemed
more professional with the
technology, but she now sees
other behaviors, such as
connections becoming unstable
during a tough question only
to come back online minutes
later—along with a perfect
answer to the question.
According to Yang, people are
also checking out their teeth,
applying makeup, adjusting
bra straps, flipping their hair
repeatedly, and even browsing
the Internet or chatting with
friends during interviews, all
while being observed. One
interviewee apparently had his
parents just off camera holding
up signs with answers.
Source: Kelly Yang, “Virtual Job Interview,” The New York Times,
November 3, 2011, http://www
.nytimes.com/2011/11/04/opinion/
virtual-job-interview.html .
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 503loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 503 1/4/13 4:40 PM1/4/13 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
504 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Develop an overall strategy based on your answers to these
three questions: (LO 29-1) 1. What two to five facts about yourself do you want the inter-
viewer to know?
2. What disadvantages or weaknesses do you need to over-
come or minimize?
3. What do you need to know about the job and the organiza-
tion to decide whether or not you want to accept this job if it
is offered to you?
• Wear a conservative business suit to the interview. (LO 29-2) • Bring an extra copy of your résumé, something to write on
and write with, and copies of your work to the interview.
(LO 29-2) • Record the name of the interviewer, what the interviewer liked
about you, any negative points that came up, answers to your
questions about the company, and when you’ll hear from the
company. (LO 29-2) • Rehearse in advance everything you can. Ask a friend to inter-
view you. If your campus has videotaping facilities, watch
yourself on tape so you can evaluate and modify your interview
behavior. (LO 29-3) • Be your best self at the interview. (LO 29-3) • Successful applicants know what they want to do, use the com-
pany name in the interview, have researched the company in
advance, back up claims with specifics, use technical jargon,
ask specific questions, and talk more of the time. (LO 29-4) • As you practice answers to questions you may be asked, choose
answers that fit your qualifications and your interview strategy.
(LO 29-4) • The best time to negotiate for salary and benefits is after you
have the offer. (LO 29-5) • Prepare for salary negotiations by finding out what the going
rate is for the work you hope to do. (LO 29-5) • Useful websites for salary information include www.wageweb
.com , www.salary.com , and www.datamasters.com . (LO 29-5) • Behavioral interviews ask the applicant to describe actual
behaviors, rather than plans or general principles. (LO 29-6) • To answer a behavioral question, describe the situation, tell
what you did, describe the outcome, and show that you under-
stand the implications of what you did and how you might mod-
ify that action in other situations. (LO 29-6) • Situational interviews put you in a situation that allows the
interviewer to see whether you have the qualities the company
is seeking. (LO 29-6) • For a phone interview, give short answers. Then ask, “Would
you like more information?” (LO 29-7) • If you answer questions on videotape, retape as many times as
necessary to show your best self. (LO 29-7)
Assignments for Module 29
29.1 What three questions should form the basis for an interview strategy? (LO 29-1)
29.2 How do you use your interview strategy during an interview? (LO 29-2)
29.3 How do successful interviewees communicate? (LO 29-4)
Questions for Comprehension
29.4 What are your greatest strengths? How can you demon- strate them during an interview? (LO 29-3, LO 29-4)
29.5 What are your weaknesses? How will you deal with them if they come up during an interview? (LO 29-3, LO 29-4)
29.6 What are your options if you are asked what you believe is an illegal interview question? Which option seems best to
you? Why? (LO 29-3, LO 29-4)
29.7 Is it unethical to practice answering interview questions, so that you come across as very poised at an interview?
(LO 29-3, LO 29-4)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Exercises and Problems
29.8 Interviewing Job Hunters (LO 29-3, LO 29-4)
Talk to students at your school who are interviewing for
jobs this term. Possible questions to ask them include
• What field are you in? How good is the job market in that
field this year?
• What questions have you been asked at job interviews?
Were you asked any stress or sexist questions? Any really
oddball questions?
• What answers seemed to go over well? What answers
bombed?
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 504loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 504 1/4/13 4:40 PM1/4/13 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
Module 29 Job Interviews 505
• Were you asked to take any tests (skills, physical, drugs)?
• How long did you have to wait after a first interview to
learn whether you were being invited for an office visit?
How long after an office visit did it take to learn whether
you were being offered a job? How much time did the
company give you to decide?
• What advice would you have for someone who will be
interviewing next term or next year?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Summarize your findings in a memo to your instructor.
b. Report your findings orally to the class.
c. Join with a small group of students to write a group
report describing the results of your survey.
Talk to someone who regularly interviews candidates for
entry-level jobs. Possible questions to ask include the
following:
• How long have you been interviewing for your
o rganization? Does everyone on the management l adder
at your company do some interviewing, or do people
specialize in it?
• Do you follow a set structure for interviews? What are
some of the standard questions you ask?
• What are you looking for? How important are (1) good
grades, (2) leadership roles in extracurricular groups, or
(3) relevant work experience? What advice would you
give to someone who doesn’t have one or more of these?
• What are the things you see students do that create a poor
impression? Think about the worst candidate you’ve
interviewed. What did he or she do (or not do) to create
such a negative impression?
• What are the things that make a good impression? Recall
the best student you’ve ever interviewed. Why did he or
she impress you so much?
• How does your employer evaluate and reward your suc-
cess as an interviewer?
• What advice would you have for someone who still has a
year or so before the job hunt begins?
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Summarize your findings in a memo to your instructor.
b. Report your findings orally to the class.
c. Join with a small group of students to write a group
report describing the results of your survey.
d. Write to the interviewer thanking him or her for taking
the time to talk to you.
29.9 Interviewing an Interviewer (LO 29-3, LO 29-4)
Based on your analysis for Problems 27.8 and 27.9, prepare
an interview strategy.
1. List two to five things about yourself that you want the
interviewer to know before you leave the interview.
2. Identify any weaknesses or apparent weaknesses in your
record and plan ways to explain them or minimize them.
3. List the points you need to learn about an employer to
decide whether to accept an office visit or plant trip.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your strategy with a small group of other students.
b. Describe your strategy in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present your strategy orally to the class.
29.10 Preparing an Interview Strategy (LO 29-3, LO 29-4)
Answer the questions in Figure 29.4 .
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share your answers with a small group of other students.
b. Present your answers in a memo to your instructor, and
explain why you’ve chosen the examples you describe.
c. Present your answers orally to the class.
29.11 Preparing Answers to Behavioral Interview Questions (LO 29-4 to LO 29-6)
Prepare a list of questions to ask at job interviews.
1. Prepare a list of three to five general questions that
apply to most employers in your field.
2. Prepare two to five specific questions for each of the
three companies you are most interested in.
As Your Instructor Directs,
a. Share the questions with a small group of other students.
b. List the questions in a memo to your instructor.
c. Present your questions orally to the class.
29.12 Preparing Questions to Ask Employers (LO 29-4 to LO 29-6)
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 505loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 505 1/4/13 4:40 PM1/4/13 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
506 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Like any tool, a dictionary has many uses. It shows how to spell
words, defines them, details pronunciation, and sometimes, like a
thesaurus, gives synonyms.
But using dictionaries can be challenging for non-native speak-
ers of English. To look up words, you must first know their spell-
ing, or at least be close enough. Definitions may have words the
reader does not know, and several definitions may exist—which is
the one you want? Slang terms may be missing, as well as idiom-
atic expressions.
Two different kinds exist. Most are descriptive, meaning they explain how words are used, including slang and other nonstan- dard usages. Other dictionaries are prescriptive, telling how editors think words should be used. For instance, “verbal” in a descriptive dictionary would mean spoken, not written words. “Verbal” in a
prescriptive dictionary would mean using words.
The type of dictionary is usually shown in the introduction or
preface.
Well-meaning foreign language dictionaries may prescribe
words and phrases that are out of date or too formal.
Lastly, dictionaries come in all shapes and sizes. A portable
pocket dictionary is unlikely to be as comprehensive as a 700-page
college edition, which may be impractical for students to carry
around.
Use these questions to evaluate a dictionary:
• Is it descriptive or prescriptive?
• Do the definitions make sense to you?
• Are common and uncommon terms in your field of study
defined?
• Does your English instructor find it appropriate for the class?
• If you are using a foreign language dictionary, share some of
the definitions with native speakers of English. Do they agree
with the definitions?
Exercises
Compare and contrast the definitions of the following words in
both prescriptive and descriptive dictionaries. Which definition for
each do you prefer and why?
1. Bond
2. Pound
3. Tweet
4. Forward
5. Smart
6. Android
7. Market
8. Overnight
9. Raise
10. Promote
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Using a Dictionary
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 506loc03261_ch29_491-506.indd 506 1/4/13 4:40 PM1/4/13 4:40 PM
Confirming pages
507
W hat you do after the interview can determine whether you get the job. One woman wanted
to switch from banking, where she was working in corporate relations, to advertising. The ad
agency interviewer expressed doubts about her qualifications. Immediately after leaving the agency,
she tracked down a particular book the interviewer had mentioned he was looking for but had been
unable to find. She presented it to him—and was hired. 1
Xerox expects applicants for sales and repair positions to follow up within 10 days. If they don’t,
the company assumes that the person wouldn’t follow up with clients. 2
If the employer sends you an e-mail query, answer it promptly. You’re being judged not only on
what you say but on how quickly you respond.
Know, too, that today people must think in terms of careers rather than simply jobs. The world of
work is constantly changing, and the days of a person retiring from the company where he or she
started are all but gone. Today’s worker must be agile, learning new skills and being open to bet-
ter opportunities before old ones disappear. But instead of being mercenary, be self-reliant. Think of
yourself as your best asset, and proceed ethically. Establish and keep good relationships with your
employers. Start with the follow-up to your interview.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers
LO 30-1 Apply strategies for follow-up phone calls and letters.
LO 30-2 Solve dilemmas with job offers out- side of your first choice.
LO 30-3 Apply strategies for enthusiasm on the job.
LO 30-4 Develop behaviors for future job application success.
What you do after a job interview is critical, and Module 30 suggests good strategies for continued
success. After completing the module, you should be able to
Module
30
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 507loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 507 1/3/13 9:41 PM1/3/13 9:41 PM
Confirming pages
508 Unit Seven Job Hunting
What should I say in a follow-up phone call or letter? LO 30-1
▶ Reinforce positives and overcome any negatives.
After a first interview, make follow-up phone calls to reinforce positives from the first inter-
view, to overcome any negatives, and to get information you can use to persuade the inter-
viewer to hire you. Career coach Kate Wendleton suggests asking the following questions:
• “Is there more information I can give you?”
• “I’ve been giving a lot of thought to your project and have some new ideas. Can we
meet to go over them?”
• “Where do I stand? How does my work compare with the work others presented?” 3
A letter after an office visit is essential to thank your hosts for their hospitality as well as
to send in receipts for your expenses. A well-written letter can be the deciding factor that
gets you the job. 4 The letter should
• Remind the interviewer of what he or she liked in you.
• Counter any negative impressions that may have come up at the interview.
• Use the jargon of the company and refer to specific things you learned during your
interview or saw during your visit.
• Be enthusiastic.
• Refer to the next move, whether you’ll wait to hear from the employer or whether you
want to call to learn about the status of your application.
Be sure the letter is well-written and error-free. One employer reports,
I often interviewed people whom I liked, . . . but their follow-up letters were filled with
misspelled words and names and other inaccuracies. They blew their chance with the
follow-up letter. 5
Figure 30.1 is an example of a follow-up letter after an office visit.
What do I do if my first offer isn’t the one I most want? LO 30-2
▶ Phone your first-choice employer to find out where you are on that list.
Some employers offer jobs at the end of the office visit. In other cases, you may wait for
weeks or even months to hear. Employers almost always offer jobs orally. You must say
something in response immediately, so plan some strategies.
If your first offer is not from your first choice, express your pleasure at being offered the
job, but do not accept it on the phone. “That’s great! I assume I have two weeks to let you
know?” Some companies offer “exploding” job offers that expire in one week or less, 6 but
most firms will give you two weeks.
Then call the other companies you’re interested in. Explain, “I’ve just got a job offer, but I’d rather work for you. Can you tell me what the status of my application is?” Nobody
will put that information in writing, but almost everyone will tell you over the phone. With
this information, you’re in a better position to decide whether to accept the original offer.
Some applicants have been successful in getting two weeks extended to several weeks
or even months. Certainly if you cannot decide by the deadline, it is worth asking for more
time: The worst the company can do is say no. If you do try to keep a company hanging, be prepared for weekly phone calls asking you if you’ve decided yet.
Make your acceptance contingent upon a written job offer confirming the terms. That
letter should spell out not only salary but also fringe benefits and any special provisions
you have negotiated. If something is missing, call the interviewer for clarification: “You
said that I’d be reviewed for a promotion and higher salary in six months, but that isn’t in
Site to See
Go to
www.career.vt.edu/ Interviewing/ AfterThanksFollowUp.html
for examples of follow-up
letters after an interview.
Go to
Employee recruiter Jenny
Foss maintains that staying in
touch after a job interview is
critical and starts with asking
what the next steps are before
leaving. She also recommends
connecting to the recruiter
through LinkedIn.
Source: Jenny Foss, “4 Non- Annoying Ways to Follow Up After
an Interview,” Forbes, May 30,
2012, http://www.forbes.com/
sites/dailymuse/2012/05/30/4-non-
annoying-ways-to-follow-up-after-
an-interview/2/ .
Site to See
Go to
Salary.com
for both free and fee-based
information on 25 million
employee salaries collected
from more than 15,000
employers.
Go to
Instant Replay
Follow-Up Phone Calls
After a first interview, make
follow-up phone calls to
reinforce positives from the
first interview, to overcome
any negatives, and to get
information you can use to
persuade the interviewer to
hire you.
I R
Follow Up P
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 508loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 508 1/3/13 9:41 PM1/3/13 9:41 PM
Confirming pages
Module 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers 509
Figure 30.1 Follow-Up Letter after an Office Visit
405 West College Street, Apt. 201 Thibodaux, LA 70301 April 2, 2013
Mr. Robert Land, Account Manager Sive Associates 378 Norman Boulevard Cincinnati, OH 48528
Dear Mr. Land:
After visiting Sive Associates last week, I’m even more sure that writing direct mail is the career for me.
I’ve always been able to brainstorm ideas, but sometimes when I had to focus on one idea for a class project, I wasn’t sure which idea was best. It was fascinating to see how you make direct mail scientific as well as creative by testing each new creative package against the control. I can understand how pleased Linda Hayes was when she learned that her new package for Smithsonian beat the control.
Seeing Kelly, Luke, and Gene collaborating on the Sesame Street package gave me some sense of the tight deadlines you’re under. As you know, I’ve learned to meet deadlines, not only for my class assignments, but also in working on Nicholls’ newspaper. The award I won for my feature on the primary election suggests that my quality holds up even when the deadline is tight!
Thank you for your hospitality while I was in Cincinnati. You and your wife made my stay very pleasant. I especially appreciate the time the two of you took to help me find information about apartments that are accessible to wheelchairs. Cincinnati seems like a very liveable city.
I’m excited about a career in direct mail and about the possibility of joining Sive Associates. I look forward to hearing from you soon!
Sincerely,
Gina Focasio (504) 555-2948
P.S. My expenses totaled $454. Enclosed are receipts for my plane fare from New Orleans to Cincinnati ($367), the taxi to the airport in Cincinnati ($30), and the bus from Thibodaux to New Orleans ($57).
Encl.: Receipts for Expenses
Single-space your address, date
when you don’t use letterhead.
Refers to things she saw and learned during the interview.
Reminds interviewer of her strong points.
Writer’s phone number.
Be positive, not pushy. She doesn’t assume shehas
the job. Refers to what will happen next.
Puts request for reimbursement in P.S.
to de-emphasize it. Focuses on the job,
not the cost of the trip.
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 509loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 509 1/3/13 9:42 PM1/3/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
510
Being Enthusiastic LO 30-3
Building a Critical Skill
Every employer wants employees who are enthusiastic about
their work. Enthusiastic people seem more energetic than
others; they’re more fun to be around. The more enthusiasm
you show, the better you’ll do in job interviews and on the job
itself.
It’s easiest to show enthusiasm when you really feel it. Don’t
settle for “just a paycheck.” In addition to meeting your finan-
cial needs, the ideal job would let you
• Use the skills you want to use.
• Work with the kind of people you want to be around.
• Work with a product, service, or idea that interests you.
• Have the level of responsibility you want.
• Build knowledge and skills so you’ll be even more employ-
able in the future.
• Achieve a goal that matters.
While you may not get all of these factors in a single job offer,
you probably can get the ones that matter most to you—if you
know what they are.
Seeming enthusiastic is easy for some outgoing people. If
you’re naturally shy or reserved, showing your enthusiasm may
feel like “acting” at first. If you’re reserved,
• Smile.
• Lean forward as you talk.
• Put lots of energy into your voice. Vary pace, tone, and
volume.
• Use energy in body movements. Gesture while you sit still.
Walk quickly. (In some company cultures, run.)
• Let your comments show your interest. Show that you’ve
done your homework. Volunteer to work on issues. Talk to
people about issues informally as well as in meetings.
• Participate fully in games and activities designed to energize
workers. Think of ways to showcase your talents to help
energize others.
Southwest Airlines employees
hold a pep rally marking
Southwest’s new service to
Pittsburgh International Airport.
Opportunities for employees
to show enthusiasm can
create excitement and help
employees bond.
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 510loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 510 1/3/13 9:42 PM1/3/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers 511
the letter.” You have more power to resolve misunderstandings now than you will after six
months or a year on the job.
When you’ve accepted one job, let the other places you visited know that you’re no
longer interested. Then they can go to their second choices. If you’re second on someone
else’s list, you’ll appreciate other candidates’ removing themselves so the way is clear
for you.
If you already have a job, you may decide to wait until your desired employer does
offer you a job. Figure 30.2 is an example of a letter telling a company that the candidate
is still interested.
Is there anything else I should do? LO 30-4
▶ Reflect on your successes, keep good records, and be excited about your future!
Getting the job you want is the start of your career or its next important phase. Celebrate
your accomplishment—you deserve it. Later, take a few moments to reflect on things you
might improve next time. Could you make your résumé or cover letter stronger? How
might you even better prepare for future job interviews?
Start a file with the answers, and include copies of job application materials. Every
three to six months, revisit the file to reflect and to update documents. Jot notes down
about what you learn.
Know that you are a work in progress. Navigate your career course better by answering
these questions periodically:
• How have your habits, expectations, and goals changed?
• What do you want from your job or career in the next year? Five years? Ten years?
Instant Replay
Follow-Up Letters
A letter after an office visit
should
• Remind the interviewer of
what he or she liked in you.
• Counter any negative
impressions.
• Use the jargon of the
company and refer to
specifics from the visit.
• Be enthusiastic.
• Refer to the next move.
I R
Follow Up L
Some research suggests having
“an easier to pronounce name”
gives people an advantage in
the workplace. Researchers
at New York University and
the University of Melbourne
found that lawyers in particular,
rose more quickly to higher
positions in firms if their name
fit the criteria. “The effect is not
due merely to the length of a
name or how foreign-sounding
or unusual it is, but rather how
easy it is to pronounce,” said
Simon Laham, lead author of
the study, which reviewed Anglo,
Asian, and Eastern and Western
European names. Of course,
people generally don’t choose
their own names, but they may
have control over which form
they use—a more formal and
complex name, or one that
is shortened to a simpler and
acceptable nickname.
Source: Chad Brooks, “Want a Promotion? Change Your
Name,” February 10, 2012, http://
shine.yahoo.com/work-money/
want-promotion-change-
name-213400665.html .
The secret of success!
Ziggy © 1999 Ziggy & Friends. Reprinted by permission of
Universal Uclick. All rights reserved.
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 511loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 511 1/3/13 9:42 PM1/3/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
512 Unit Seven Job Hunting
• How has your job field changed, and what should you do to stay current in it?
• How committed are you to staying in your present career? If you want to change
careers, why?
Always keep accurate records throughout the job application and follow-up process,
including receipts. Some job hunting expenses are tax deductible. For instance, you might
be able to claim postage, photocopying, or résumé preparation costs incurred if you are
looking for a job in the same occupation as your last one. 7 Be sure to consult the Internal
Revenue Service or a tax expert for the final say on the matter.
Stay connected to your professional network. Stay in touch with people willing to give
you good references. Make sure you have up-to-date contact information.
Thank the people who helped you—in writing whenever possible. Think about how you
might help someone else when you have the opportunity.
Go do a great job!
Since 1970, the median number
of years someone stays with
a job has declined to only 4.4
years. Future careers will likely
involve short-term jobs rather
than long-term ones. Updating
skills and broadening interests
will be vital. Learn new languages
and technology. Develop social
and emotional intelligence.
Source: Anya Kamenetz, “The Four- Year Career,” Fast Company, January
10, 2012, http://www.fastcompany.
com/1802731/four-year-career .
Figure 30.2 Letter Expressing Continued Interest in a Position
4531 Sand Hill Dr.
Fullerton, CA 92842
May 14, 2012
Mr. Adam Phillips
Benner Electronics
1715 Ridgeview Pkwy.
San Diego, CA 91325-5472
Dear Mr. Phillips:
Four weeks ago, I sent a résumé and job application letter to Benner Electronics for the
position of Regional Sales Manager but have not heard from anyone. I wanted you to
know I am still interested in the position and am available for an interview.
Since submitting my materials, I was awarded a “Gold Medal of Achievement” from my
present employer for outstanding sales in April. I led the Orange County group in
semiconductor sales, with more than 45,000 units sold for a total of $81,700.
I would like to discuss how I might put my energy and enthusiasm to work as Benner
Electronics’ next Regional Sales Manager. If you would like to schedule an interview,
please let me know.
Sincerely,
Maria Alvarez
Maria Alvarez
714-555-1219
Add achievements that occurred after you sent your résumé in.
Writer’s phone number.
Summarize situation in ¶ 1.
Single-space your address,
date when you don’t use letterhead.
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 512loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 512 1/3/13 9:42 PM1/3/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers 513
Summary of Learning Objectives
• Use follow-up phone calls to reinforce positives from the first
interview, to overcome any negatives, and to get information
you can use to persuade the interviewer to hire you. (LO 30-1) • A follow-up letter should (LO 30-1) • Remind the interviewer of what he or she liked in you.
• Counter any negative impressions that may have come up at
the interview.
• Use the jargon of the company and refer to specific things
you learned during your interview or saw during your
visit.
• Be enthusiastic.
• Refer to the next move you’ll make.
• If your first offer isn’t from your first choice, call the other
companies you’re interested in to ask about the status of your
application. (LO 30-2)
• To be more enthusiastic, (LO 30-3) • Smile.
• Lean forward as you talk.
• Put lots of energy into your voice.
• Use energy in body movements.
• Let your comments show your interest.
• Participate fully in games and activities designed to energize
workers.
• Once you get the job you want, reflect on your successes, keep
good records, and be excited about your future. (LO 30-4) • Check into whether any of your job-hunting expenses are tax
deductible. (LO 30-4) • Thank the people who helped you, and help someone else when
you can. (LO 30-4) • Go do a great job! (LO 30-4)
Assignments for Module 30
30.1 What should you do in a follow-up phone call? (LO 30-1)
30.2 What should you do in a follow-up letter? (LO 30-1)
30.3 What should you do if the first offer you get isn’t from your first-choice employer? (LO 30-2)
30.4 Why should you phone rather than write or e-mail your first-choice employer after you’ve received another job
offer? (LO 30-2)
Questions for Comprehension
30.5 Why is it important to get a job offer in writing before you accept it officially? (LO 30-1 to LO 30-2)
30.6 How could you counter a negative impression that came up during an interview? (LO 30-1 to LO 30-3)
30.7 Is it ethical for a quiet, reserved person to try to seem more enthusiastic? (LO 30-3)
Questions for Critical Thinking
Write a follow-up e-mail message or letter after an onsite
visit or plant trip. Thank your hosts for their hospitality;
relate your strong points to things you learned about the
company during the visit; allay any negatives that may
remain; be enthusiastic about the company; and submit
receipts for your expenses so you can be reimbursed.
Exercises and Problems
30.8 Writing a Follow-Up Letter after an Onsite Visit (LO 30-1, LO 30-2)
Last week, you got a job offer from your first-choice com-
pany, and you accepted it over the phone. Today, the written
confirmation arrived. The letter specifies the starting salary
and fringe benefits you had negotiated. However, during the
office visit, you were promised a 5% raise in six months. The
job offer says nothing about the raise. You do want the job,
but you want it on the terms you thought you had negotiated.
Write to your contact at the company, Eliza Raymono.
30.9 Clarifying the Terms of a Job Offer (LO 30-1, LO 30-2)
Even established writers sometimes get confused about when to
use who versus whom and I versus me. These pronouns serve dif- ferent functions in a sentence or part of a sentence.
Use who or I as the subject of a sentence or clause.
Correct: Who put the file on my desk? ( Who did the action, put. ) Correct: Keisha and I gave the presentation at our annual
meeting.
(Both Keisha and I did the action, gave. )
Who/Whom and I/Me
Polishing Your Prose
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 513loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 513 1/3/13 9:42 PM1/3/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
514 Unit Seven Job Hunting
Correct: John, who just received a Ph.D. in management science, was promoted to vice president. ( Who is the subject of the clause “who just received a Ph.D. in
management science.”)
Use whom and me as the object of a verb or a preposition.
Correct: Whom did you write the report for? ( Whom is the object of the preposition for. )
Correct: She recommended Thuy and me for promotions. ( Me is an object of the verb recommend. )
Though some print sources may use who and whom interchange- ably, stick to the rules until this practice becomes widely acceptable.
If you’re not sure whether a pronoun is being used as a subject
or object, try substituting he or him. If he would work, the pronoun is a subject. If him sounds right, the pronoun is an object.
Correct: He wrote the report. Correct: I wrote the report for him.
Exercises
Choose the correct word in each set of brackets.
1. With [who/whom] are you attending the annual meeting?
2. Delores asked Shannon and [I/me\} to pick Bella up from
Sioux Gateway Airport.
3. Zach and [I/me] expected Jordyn to bring only the digital
camera, but she brought a laptop, too.
4. I was wondering [who/whom] is expecting to take a vacation
in July or August.
5. Loren Adelson let Kenji and [I/me] know that the marketing
brochures arrived from Caspar Printing this morning.
6. Because Hawa and [I/me] can speak French, Mitch wants us
to meet the Paris delegation for lunch on March 3.
7. No one was sure for [who/whom] the packages were
intended, so Ron, Christina, and [I/me] took them back to the
mail room.
8. Even though Phil, Tamara, Britney, and [I/me] will be at the
company table, we are still waiting for a final list of [who/
whom] is going to the awards dinner.
9. We thought we knew [who/whom] made the call, but it turns
out Rachel and [I/me] wrote down two different names.
10. The photocopier requires people to key in [who/whom] is mak-
ing copies, but Deepak and [I/me] were accidentally given the
same access code.
Check your answers to the odd-numbered exercises at the back of the book.
Unit 7 Cases for Communicators
Many liberal arts colleges are blending job-specific education
with a more traditional focus on developing skills like critical
thinking and communication skills. Take Wake Forest University,
for example, where students majoring in English or chemistry can
also complete an Innovation, Creativity, and Entrepreneurship
minor.
At Clark University, students can join the Liberal Education and
Effective Practice (LEEP) program, where they get professional
development coursework and plan internships and research oppor-
tunities during their freshman year. The LEEP program encourages
students to begin thinking about their future careers early in their
liberal arts education.
Not everyone is onboard with the changes. Some faculty mem-
bers worry that focusing on job-specific education comes at the
expense of teaching broader skills and will turn higher education
into vocational training. Worse, the strategy may actually make
future employees less effective by stifling their individuality. “When
people start talking about employability,” warns Michael Roth,
Wesleyan University president, “what they’re really talking about
is conformity.”
Still others, like Davidson College’s Carol Quillen, see a bal-
ance as achievable, noting that adaptation can happen but “we
won’t change our curriculum based on what we would perceive as
a transitory need for a particular skill.”
Individual Activity
Imagine you are preparing for your future career. Your task is to
research all of the resources available at your college or university to
use as job leads, information, networking possibilities, and informa-
tional sources for your field of study and to create a list of resources
for yourself and other students. Use all information options avail-
able to you, including your department, professors, and campus
library or career center. See what resources are available online as
well as in person.
Before you begin your search, consider the following questions:
• What do I know about my future career?
• What education do I need for a job in that career?
• What minors or majors could complement my chosen field of
study?
• What companies recruit from my college, and do they recruit
people in my field of study?
• What social networking opportunities are there?
• What campus lectures or public programs bring experts to my
campus?
• What alumni networks can I access?
• What other resources can I explore to find out about more
opportunities in my field of study?
A Changing Curriculum
Source: Lauren Weber, “Colleges Get Career-Minded,” The Wall Street Journal, May 22, 2012, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB100014240527023 03448404577410592488795980.html .
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 514loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 514 1/3/13 9:42 PM1/3/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
Module 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers 515
Group Activity
Imagine that you and your group will conduct an interview for
a job opening. With members of your group, choose an industry
to research and explore. Find a job posting that includes detailed
descriptions of the position, required skills, and the hiring com-
pany. (You can find a job posting on an online job site or your local
newspaper. Copy the postings and distribute them to each member
of the group.)
Your task is then to come up with relevant questions to ask the
potential interviewee.
Consider the following questions as you brainstorm:
• What are the necessary skills for the job?
• What kind of interview will you use for the applicant?
• What are some traditional interview questions you will ask?
When you finish, brainstorm with your group to come up with
answers to your interview questions.
loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 515loc03261_ch30_507-515.indd 515 1/3/13 9:42 PM1/3/13 9:42 PM
Confirming pages
516
Glossary
A
Acknowledgment responses Nods, smiles, frowns, and words that let a speaker know you are listening.
Active listening Feeding back the literal meaning or the emo- tional content or both so that the speaker knows that the listener
has heard and understood.
Active verb A verb that describes the action of the grammatical subject of the sentence.
Adjustment The response to a claim letter. If the company agrees to grant a refund, the amount due will be adjusted.
Analytical report A report that interprets information.
Assumptions Statements that are not proven in a report, but on which the recommendations are based.
B
Bar graph A visual consisting of parallel bars or rectangles that represent specific sets of data.
Behavioral interviews Job interviews that ask candidates to describe actual behaviors they have used in the past in specific
situations.
Bias-free language Language that does not discriminate against people on the basis of sex, physical condition, race, age, or any
other category.
Blind ads Job listings that do not list the company’s name.
Blind copies Copies sent to other recipients that are not listed on the original letter or memo.
Block format In letters, a format in which the inside address, date, and signature block are lined up at the left margin.
Blocking Disagreeing with every idea that is proposed in a meeting.
Blogging Using a web log, or blog, to communicate on the Internet.
Body The main part of a letter, memo, or report.
Body language Nonverbal communication conveyed by posture and movement, eye contact, facial expressions, and gestures.
Boilerplate Language from a previous document that a writer includes in a new document. Writers use boilerplate both to
save time and energy and to use language that has already been
approved by the organization’s legal staff.
Brainstorming A method of generating ideas by recording everything a person or a group thinks of, without judging or
evaluating the ideas.
Branching question Question that sends respondents who answer differently to different parts of the questionnaire. Allows
respondents to answer only those questions that are relevant to
their experience.
Bridge A sentence that connects the attention-getter to the body of a letter.
Buffer A neutral or positive statement designed to allow the writer to bury, or buffer, the negative message.
Build goodwill To create a good image of yourself and of your organization—the kind of image that makes people want to do
business with you.
Bullets Large round dots or squares that set off items in a list. When you are giving examples, but the number is not exact and
the order does not matter, use bullets to set off items.
Business slang Terms that have technical meaning but are used in more general senses. Used sparingly, these terms are appropri-
ate in job application letters and in messages for people in the
same organization who are likely to share the vocabulary.
Businessese A kind of jargon including unnecessary words. Some words were common 200 to 300 years ago but are no longer
part of spoken English. Some have never been used outside of
business writing. All of these terms should be omitted.
Buying time with limited agreement Agreeing with the small part of a criticism that one does accept as true.
C
Case The grammatical role a noun or pronoun plays in a sen- tence. The nominative case is used for the subject of a clause, the
possessive to show who or what something belongs to, the objec-
tive case for the object of a verb or a preposition.
Channel The physical means by which a message is sent. Writ- ten channels include memos, letters, and billboards. Oral channels
include phone calls, speeches, and face-to-face conversations.
Channel overload The inability of a channel to carry all the messages that are being sent.
Chartjunk Decoration that is irrelevant to a visual and that may be misleading.
Checking for feelings Identifying the emotions that the previ- ous speaker seemed to be expressing verbally or nonverbally.
Checking for inferences Trying to identify the unspoken content or feelings implied by what the previous speaker has actually said.
Choice or selection The decision to include or omit information in a message.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 516loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 516 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
Glossary 517
Chronological résumé A résumé that lists what you did in a timeline, starting with the most recent events and going backward
in reverse chronology.
Citation Attributing a quotation or other idea to a source in the body of the report.
Claim letter A letter seeking a replacement or refund.
Clear A message whose audience gets the meaning the writer or speaker intended.
Clip art Predrawn images that you can import into your news- letter, sign, or graph.
Close The ending of a document.
Closed or defensive body position Keeping the arms and legs crossed and close to the body. Suggests physical and psychological
discomfort, defending oneself, and shutting the other person out.
Closed question Question with a limited number of possible responses.
Closure report A report summarizing completed research that does not result in action or recommendation.
Clowning Making unproductive jokes and diverting the group from its task.
Clustering A method of thinking up ideas by writing the central topic in the middle of the page, circling it, writing down the ideas
that topic suggests, and circling them.
Collaborative writing Working with other writers to produce a single document.
Collection letter A letter asking a customer to pay for goods and services received.
Collection series A series of letters asking customers to pay for goods and services they have already received. Early letters in the
series assume that the reader intends to pay but has forgotten or
has met with temporary reverses. Final letters threaten legal action
if the bill is not paid.
Comma splice or comma fault Using a comma to join two independent clauses. To correct, use a semicolon, add a coordinat-
ing conjunction, subordinate one of the clauses, or use a period
and start a new sentence.
Common ground Values and goals that the writer and reader share.
Communication theory A theory explaining what happens when we communicate and where miscommunication can occur.
Complaint letter A letter that challenges a policy or tries to get a decision changed.
Complete A message that answers all of the audience’s ques- tions. The audience has enough information to evaluate the mes-
sage and act on it.
Complex sentence Sentence with one main clause and one sub- ordinate clause.
Complimentary close The words after the body of the letter and before the signature. Sincerely and Cordially are the most com- monly used complimentary closes in business letters.
Compound sentence Sentence with two main clauses joined by a conjunction.
Conclusions Section of a report that restates the main points.
Conflict resolution Strategies for getting at the real issue, keep- ing discussion open, and minimizing hurt feelings so that people
can find a solution that feels good to everyone involved.
Connotations The emotional colorings or associations that accompany a word.
Convenience sample A group of subjects to whom the researcher has easy access.
Conversational style Conversational patterns such as speed and volume of speaking, pauses between speakers, whether questions
are direct or indirect. When different speakers assign different
meanings to a specific pattern, miscommunication results.
Coordinating Planning work, giving directions, fitting together contributions of group members.
Coordination The third stage in the life of a task group, when the group finds, organizes, and interprets information and exam-
ines alternatives and assumptions. This is the longest of the four
stages.
Correct Used to describe a message that is accurate and free from errors in punctuation, spelling, grammar, word order, and
sentence structure.
Credibility The audience’s response to the source of the message.
Criteria The standards used to evaluate or weigh the factors in a decision.
Critical incident An important event that illustrates a subordi- nate’s behavior.
Cropping Cutting a photograph to fit a specific space. Also, photographs are cropped to delete visual information that is
unnecessary or unwanted.
Culture The unconscious patterns of behavior and beliefs that are common to a people, nation, or organization.
Cycling The process of sending a document from writer to superior to writer to yet another superior for several rounds of
revisions before the document is approved.
D
Dangling modifier A phrase that modifies a word that is not actually in a sentence. To correct a dangling modifier, recast the
modifier as a subordinate clause or revise the sentence so its sub-
ject or object can be modified by the now dangling phrase.
Data Facts or figures from which conclusions can be drawn.
Decode To extract meaning from symbols.
Decorative visual A visual that makes the speaker’s points more memorable but that does not convey numerical data.
Defensive or closed body position Keeping the arms and legs crossed and close to the body. Suggests physical and psycho-
logical discomfort, defending oneself, and shutting the other
person out.
Demographic characteristics Measurable features of an audi- ence that can be counted objectively: age, sex, race, education
level, income, and so on.
Denotation A word’s literal or “dictionary” meaning. Most common words in English have more than one denotation.
Context usually makes it clear which of several meanings is
appropriate.
Dependent clause A group of words that contains a subject and a verb but cannot stand by itself as a complete sentence.
Descriptors Words describing the content of an article. Used to permit computer searches for information on a topic.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 517loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 517 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
518 Glossary
Extrinsic benefits Benefits that are “added on”; they are not a necessary part of the product or action.
Eye contact Looking another person directly in the eye.
F
Feasibility study A report that evaluates two or more pos- sible alternatives and recommends one of them. Doing nothing is
always one alternative.
Feedback The receiver’s response to a message.
Figure Any visual that is not a table.
Fixed typeface A typeface in which each letter has the same width on the page. Sometimes called typewriter typeface.
Flaming Sending out an angry e-mail message before thinking about the implications of venting one’s anger.
Focus groups Small groups who come in to talk with a skilled leader about a potential product.
Forced choice A choice in which each item is ranked against every other item. Used to discover which of a large number of
criteria are crucial.
Form letter A letter that is sent unchanged or with only minor modifications to a large number of readers.
Formal meetings Meetings run under strict rules, such as the rules of parliamentary procedure summarized in Robert’s Rules of Order.
Formal report A report containing formal elements such as a title page, a transmittal, a table of contents, and an abstract.
Formalization The fourth and last stage in the life of a task group, when the group makes and formalizes its decision.
Format The parts of a document and the way they are arranged on a page.
Formation The second stage in the life of a task group, when members choose a leader and define the problem they must solve.
Freewriting A kind of writing uninhibited by any constraints. Freewriting may be useful in overcoming writer’s block, among
other things.
G
Gatekeeper The audience with the power to decide whether your message is sent on to other audiences. Some gatekeepers are
also initial audiences.
Gathering Physically getting the background data you need. It can include informal and formal research or simply getting the let-
ter to which you’re responding.
General slang Words or phrases such as awesome, smokin’, or at the end of my rope that are sometimes used in conversations and in presentations, but are not appropriate in business and adminis-
trative writing since they appear sloppy or imprecise.
Generations People grouped by years of birth and often shar- ing characteristics as defined by events and practices of their
time. The three sizable generations today are the Baby Boomers,
Generation X, and Millennials (also known as Generation Y or the
Internet Generation).
Gerund The -ing form of a verb; grammatically, it is a verb used as a noun.
Getting feedback Asking someone else to evaluate your work. Feedback is useful at every stage of the writing process, not just
during composition of the final draft.
Dingbats Small symbols such as arrows, pointing fingers, and so forth that are part of a typeface.
Direct request A pattern of organization that makes the request directly in the first and last paragraphs.
Directed subject line A subject line that makes clear the writ- er’s stance on the issue.
Discourse community A group of people who share assump- tions about what channels, formats, and styles to use for com-
munication; what topics to discuss and how to discuss them; and
what constitutes evidence.
Document design The process of writing, organizing, and laying out a document so it can be easily used by the intended
audience.
Documentation Providing full bibliographic information so interested readers can go to the original source of material used
in a report.
Dominating Trying to run a group by ordering, shutting out others, and insisting on one’s own way.
E
Early letter A collection letter that is gentle. An early letter assumes that the reader intends to pay but has forgotten or has met
with temporary reverses.
Editing Checking the draft to see that it satisfies the require- ments of good English and the principles of business writing.
Unlike revision, which can produce major changes in meaning,
editing focuses on the surface of writing.
Ego-involvement The emotional commitment the audience has to its position.
Elimination of alternatives A pattern of organization for reports that discusses the problem and its causes, the impractical solutions
and their weaknesses, and finally the solution the writer favors.
Emotional appeal Making the audience want to do what the writer or speaker asks.
Empathy The ability to put oneself in someone else’s shoes, to feel with that person.
Encode To put ideas into symbols.
Enunciate To voice all the sounds of each word while speaking.
Evaluating Measuring the draft against your goals and the requirements of the situation and audience. Anything produced
during each stage of the writing process can be evaluated, not just
the final draft.
Evidence Facts or data the audience already accepts.
Exaggeration Making something sound bigger or more impor- tant than it really is.
Executive summary A summary of a report, specifying the rec- ommendations and the reasons for them.
Expectancy theory A theory that argues that motivation is based on the expectation of being rewarded for performance and
the importance of the reward.
External audiences Audiences who are not part of the writer’s organization.
External documents Documents that go to people in another organization.
External report Report written by a consultant for an organiza- tion of which he or she is not a permanent employee.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 518loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 518 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
Glossary 519
Information interview An interview in which you talk to some- one who works in the area you hope to enter to find out what the
day-to-day work involves and how you can best prepare to enter
that field.
Information overload The inability of a human receiver to pro- cess all the messages he or she receives.
Information report A report that collects data for the reader but does not recommend action.
Informational messages In a group, messages focusing on the problem, data, and possible solutions.
Informative message Message to which the reader’s basic reac- tion will be neutral.
Informative presentation A presentation that informs or teaches the audience.
Informative or talking heads Headings that are detailed enough to provide an overview of the material in the sections they introduce.
Initial audience The audience that assigns the message and routes it to other audiences.
Inside address The reader’s name and address; put below the date and above the salutation in most letter formats.
Interactive presentation A conversation in which the seller uses questions to determine the buyer’s needs, probe objections,
and gain provisional and then final commitment to the purchase.
Intercultural competence The ability to communicate sensi- tively with people from other cultures and countries, based on an
understanding of cultural differences.
Internal audiences Audiences in the writer’s organization.
Internal document Document written for other employees in the same organization.
Internal documentation Providing information about a source in the text itself rather than in footnotes or endnotes.
Internal report Reports written by employees for use only in their organization.
Interpersonal communication Communication between people.
Interpersonal messages In a group, messages promoting friendliness, cooperation, and group loyalty.
Interpret To determine the significance or importance of a message.
Interview Structured conversation with someone who is able to give you useful information.
Intrinsic benefits Benefits that come automatically from using a product or doing something.
Introduction The part of a report that states the purpose and scope of the report. The introduction may also include limitations,
assumptions, methods, criteria, and definitions.
J
Jargon There are two kinds of jargon. The first kind is the specialized terminology of a technical field. The second is busi-
nessese, outdated words that do not have technical meanings and
are not used in other forms of English.
Judgment sample A group of subjects whose views seem useful.
Justification report Report that justifies the need for a purchase, an investment, a new personnel line, or a change in procedure.
Justified margins Margins that end evenly on the right side of the page.
Glossary A list of terms used in a report with their definitions.
Goodwill The value of a business beyond its tangible assets, including its reputation and patronage. Also, a favorable condition
and overall atmosphere of trust that can be fostered between par-
ties conducting business.
Goodwill ending Shift of emphasis away from the message to the reader. A goodwill ending is positive, personal, and forward-
looking and suggests that serving the reader is the real concern.
Goodwill presentation A presentation that entertains and vali- dates the audience.
Grammar checker Software program that flags errors or doubt- ful usage.
Grapevine The informal informational network in an orga- nization, which carries gossip and rumors as well as accurate
information.
Ground rules Procedural rules adopted by groups to make meetings run smoothly.
Groupthink The tendency for a group to reward agreement and directly or indirectly punish dissent.
Guided discussion A presentation in which the speaker presents the questions or issues that both speaker and audience have agreed
on in advance. Instead of functioning as an expert with all the
answers, the speaker serves as a facilitator to help the audience tap
its own knowledge.
H
Headings Words or short phrases that group points and divide your letter, memo, or report into sections.
Hearing Perceiving sounds.
Hidden job market Jobs that are never advertised but may be available or may be created for the right candidate.
Hidden negatives Words that are not negative in themselves, but become negative in context.
High-context culture A culture in which most information is inferred from the context, rather than being spelled out explicitly
in words.
Histogram A bar graph using pictures, asterisks, or points to represent a unit of the data.
Hot buttons Issues to which the audience has a strong emo- tional response.
Hyperlinks Web page links to another location or page.
I
Impersonal expression A sentence that attributes actions to inanimate objects, designed to avoid placing blame on a reader.
Indented format A format for résumés in which items that are logically equivalent begin at the same horizontal space, with
carryover lines indented three spaces. Indented format emphasizes
job titles.
Independent clause A group of words that can stand by itself as a complete sentence.
Infinitive The form of the verb that is preceded by to.
Inform To explain something or tell the audience something.
Informal meetings Loosely run meetings in which votes are not taken on every point.
Informal report A report using the letter or memo format.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 519loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 519 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
520 Glossary
Monologue presentation A presentation in which the speaker speaks without interruption. The presentation is planned and is
delivered without deviation.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator A scale that categorizes people on four dimensions: introvert-extravert; sensing-intuitive; think-
ing-feeling; and perceiving-judging.
N
Negative message A message in which basic information conveyed is negative; the reader is expected to be disappointed
or angry.
News release Messages that package information about a company and that the writer would like announced in local and
national media.
Noise Any physical or psychological interference in a message.
Nominative case The grammatical form used for the subject of a clause. I, we, he, she, and they are nominative pronouns.
Nonagist Words, images, or behaviors that do not discriminate against people on the basis of age.
Nonracist Words, images, or behaviors that do not discriminate against people on the basis of race.
Nonrestrictive clause A clause giving extra but unessential information about a noun or pronoun. Because the information is
extra, commas separate the clause from the word it modifies.
Nonsexist language Language that treats both sexes neutrally, that does not make assumptions about the proper gender for a job,
and that does not imply that men are superior to or take prece-
dence over women.
Nonverbal communication Communication that does not use words.
Normal interview A job interview with some questions that the interviewer expects to be easy, some questions that present an
opportunity to showcase strong points, and some questions that
probe any weaknesses evident from the résumé.
Noun–pronoun agreement Having a pronoun be the same number (singular or plural) and the same person (first, second,
or third) as the noun it refers to.
O
Objective case The grammatical form used for the object of a verb or preposition. Me, us, him, her, and them are objective pronouns.
Omnibus motion A motion that allows a group to vote on sev- eral related items in a single vote. Saves time in formal meetings
with long agendas.
Open body position Keeping the arms and legs uncrossed and away from the body. Suggests physical and psychological comfort
and openness.
Open punctuation Using no punctuation after the salutation and the complimentary close.
Open question Question with an unlimited number of possible responses.
Organization The order in which ideas are arranged in a message.
Organizational culture The values, attitudes, and philosophies shared by people in an organization that shape its messages and its
reward structure.
K
Keywords or descriptors Words describing the content of an article used to permit computer searches for information on
a topic.
L
Late letter A collection letter that threatens legal action if the bill is not paid.
Letter Short document using block or modified block format that goes to readers outside your organization.
Letterhead Stationery with the organization’s name, logo, address, and telephone number printed on the page.
Limitations Problems or factors that limit the validity of the recommendations of a report.
Line graph A visual consisting of lines that show trends or allow the viewer to interpolate values between the observed values.
Listening Decoding and interpreting sounds correctly.
Low-context culture A culture in which most information is conveyed explicitly in words rather than being inferred from
context.
M
Main or independent clause A group of words that can stand by itself as a complete sentence.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs Five levels of human need pos- ited by Abraham H. Maslow. They include physical needs, the
need for safety and security, for love and belonging, for esteem
and recognition, and for self-actualization.
Mean The average. Found by adding up all the numbers and dividing by the number of numbers.
Median The middle number in a series arranged in order of magnitude.
Memo Document using memo format sent to readers in your organization.
Methods section The section of a report or survey describing how the data were gathered.
Middle letter A collection letter that is more assertive than an early letter. Middle letters may offer to negotiate a schedule for
repayment if the reader is not able to pay the whole bill immedi-
ately, remind the reader of the importance of good credit, educate
the reader about credit, or explain why the creditor must have
prompt payment.
Minutes Records of a meeting, listing the items discussed, results of votes, and persons responsible for follow-up steps.
Misplaced modifier A word or phrase that appears to modify another element of the sentence than the writer intended.
Mixed punctuation Using a colon after the salutation and a comma after the complimentary close in a letter.
Mode The most frequent number in a series of numbers.
Modified block format A letter format in which the inside address, date, and signature block are lined up with each other
one-half or one-third of the way over on the page.
Modifier A word or phrase giving more information about another word in a sentence.
Monochronic culture Culture that treats time as a limited resource and emphasizes efficiency.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 520loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 520 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
Glossary 521
Primary audience The audience who will make a decision or act on the basis of a message.
Primary research Research that gathers new information.
Pro and con pattern A pattern of organization for reports that presents all the arguments for an alternative and then all the argu-
ments against it.
Problem-solving persuasion A pattern of organization that describes a problem that affects the reader before offering a solu-
tion to the problem.
Procedural messages Messages focusing on a group’s methods: how it makes decisions, who does what, when assignments are due.
Process of writing What people actually do when they write. Most researchers would agree that the writing process can include
eight parts: planning, gathering, writing, evaluating, getting feed-
back, revising, editing, and proofreading.
Product of writing The final written document.
Progress report A statement of the work done during a period of time and the work proposed for the next period.
Proofreading Checking the final copy to see that it’s free from typographical errors.
Proportional font A font in which some letters are wider than other letters (for example, w is wider than i ).
Proposal Document that suggests a method for finding informa- tion or solving a problem.
Prospecting letter A job application letter written to com- panies that have not announced openings but where you’d like
to work.
Psychographic data Human characteristics that are qualitative rather than quantitative: values, beliefs, goals, and lifestyles.
Psychological description Description of a product or service in terms of reader benefits.
Psychological reactance Phenomenon occurring when a reader reacts to a negative message by asserting freedom in
some other arena.
Purpose statement The statement in a proposal or a report specifying the organizational problem, the technical questions that
must be answered to solve the problem, and the rhetorical purpose
of the report (to explain, to recommend, to request, to propose).
Q
Questionnaire A list of questions for people to answer in a survey.
R
Ragged right or unjustified margins Margins that do not end evenly on the right side of the page.
Random sample A sample for which each person of the popu- lation theoretically has an equal chance of being chosen.
Reader benefits Benefits or advantages that the reader gets by using the writer’s services, buying the writer’s products, follow-
ing the writer’s policies, or adopting the writer’s ideas. Reader
benefits can exist for policies and ideas as well as for goods
and services.
Recommendation report A report that recommends action.
Recommendations Section of a report that specifies items for action.
Orientation The first stage in the life of a task group, when members meet and begin to define their task.
Original or primary research Research that gathers new information.
P
Paired graphs Two or more simple stories juxtaposed to create a more powerful story.
Parallel structure Putting words or ideas that share the same role in the sentence’s logic in the same grammatical form.
Paraphrase To repeat in your own words the verbal content of what the previous speaker said.
Passive verb A verb that describes action done to the grammati- cal subject of the sentence.
People-first language Language that names the person first, then the condition: “people with mental disability.” Used to avoid
implying that the condition defines the person’s potential.
Perception The ability to see, to hear, to taste, to smell, to touch.
Performance appraisals Supervisors’ written evaluations of their subordinates.
Personal space The distance someone wants between him- or herself and other people in ordinary, nonintimate interchanges.
Personalized A form letter that is adapted to the individual reader by including the reader’s name and address and perhaps
other information.
Persuade To motivate and convince the audience to act.
Persuasive presentation A presentation that motivates the audi- ence to act or to believe.
Pie chart A circular chart whose sections represent percentages of a given quantity.
Pitch The highness or lowness of a sound. Low-pitched sounds are closer to the bass notes on a piano; high-pitched sounds are
closer to the high notes.
Planning All the thinking done about a subject and the means of achieving your purposes. Planning takes place not only when
devising strategies for the document as a whole, but also when
generating “mini-plans” that govern sentences or paragraphs.
Polychronic culture Culture that emphasizes relationships rather than efficiency.
Population The group a researcher wants to make statements about.
Positive emphasis Focusing on the positive rather than the negative aspects of a situation.
Positive or good news message Message to which the reader’s reaction will be positive.
Possessive case The grammatical form used to indicate posses- sion or ownership. My, our, his, hers, its, and their are possessive pronouns.
Postal service abbreviations Two-letter abbreviations for states and provinces.
Prepositions Words that indicate relationships, for example, with, in, under, at.
Presenting problem The problem that surfaces as the sub- ject of disagreement. The presenting problem is often not the
real problem.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 521loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 521 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
522 Glossary
Sentence outline An outline using complete sentences that lists the sentences proving the thesis and the points proving each of those
sentences. A sentence outline is the basis for a summary abstract.
Serif The little extensions from the main strokes on the r and g and other letters. Times Roman and Courier are examples of serif
typefaces.
Sexist interview A stress interview in which questions are biased against one sex. Many sexist questions mask a legiti-
mate concern. The best strategy is to respond as you would to a
stress question: rephrase it and treat it as a legitimate request for
information.
Signpost An explicit statement of the place that a speaker or writer has reached: “Now we come to the third point.”
Simple sentence Sentence with one main clause.
Situational interviews Job interviews in which candidates are asked to describe what they would do in specific hypothetical
situations.
Skills résumé A résumé organized around the skills you’ve used, rather than the date or the job in which you used them.
Slang See business slang and general slang.
Social Networking Tool Applications, generally web-based, that let users network, post messages, and share photos and vid-
eos. Facebook and MySpace are popular social networking tools.
Spoke and LinkedIn are more specific to business. With Twitter,
messages are limited to a maximum of 140 characters and are
commonly viewed with a cell phone.
Solicited letter A job letter written when you know that the company is hiring.
Spell-checker Software program that flags possible errors in spelling.
Spot visuals Informal visuals that are inserted directly into text. Spot visuals do not have numbers or titles.
Stereotyping Putting similar people or events into a single cat- egory, even though significant differences exist.
Storyboard A visual representation of the structure of a docu- ment, with a rectangle representing each page or unit. An alterna-
tive to outlining as a method of organizing material.
Strategy A plan for reaching your specific goals with a specific audience.
Stress Emphasis given to one or more words in a sentence.
Stress interview A job interview that deliberately puts the applicant under stress, whether physical or psychological. Here
it’s important to change the conditions that create physical stress
and to meet psychological stress by rephrasing questions in less
inflammatory terms and treating them as requests for information.
Structured interview An interview that follows a detailed list of questions prepared in advance.
Subject line The title of the document, used to file and retrieve the document. A subject line tells readers why they need to read
the document and provides a framework in which to set what
you’re about to say.
Subjects The people studied in an experiment, focus group, or survey.
Subordinate or dependent clause A group of words con- taining a subject and a verb but that cannot stand by itself as a
complete sentence.
Reference line A subject line that refers the reader to another document (usually a numbered one, such as an invoice).
Referral interview Interviews you schedule to learn about cur- rent job opportunities in your field and to get referrals to other
people who may have the power to create a job for you. Useful for
tapping into unadvertised jobs and the hidden job market.
Release date Date a report will be made available to the public.
Request To ask the audience to take an easy or routine action.
Request for proposal (RFP) A statement of the service or product that an agency wants; a bid for proposals to provide that
service or product.
Respondents The people who fill out a questionnaire.
Response rate The percentage of subjects receiving a question- naire who agree to answer the questions.
Restrictive clause A clause limiting or restricting the mean- ing of a noun or pronoun. Because its information is essential, no
commas separate the clause from the word it restricts.
Résumé A persuasive summary of your qualifications for employment.
Reverse chronology Starting with the most recent job or degree and going backward. Pattern of organization used for chronologi-
cal résumés.
Revising Making changes in the draft: adding, deleting, substi- tuting, or rearranging. Revision can be changes in single words,
but more often it means major additions, deletions, or substitu-
tions, as the writer measures the draft against purpose and audi-
ence and reshapes the document to make it more effective.
RFP See request for proposal.
Rhetorical purpose The effect the writer or speaker hopes to have on the audience (to inform, to persuade, to build goodwill).
Rival hypotheses Alternate factors that might explain observed results.
Run-on sentence A sentence containing several main clauses strung together with and, but, or, so, or for.
S
Salutation The greeting in a letter. For example, “Dear Ms. Smith.”
Sample The portion of the population a researcher actually studies.
Sans serif Literally, without serifs. Typeface whose letters lack bases or flicks. Helvetica and Arial are examples of sans serif
typefaces.
Saves the reader’s time The result of a message whose style, organization, and visual impact help the reader to read, under-
stand, and act on the information as quickly as possible.
Scope statement A statement in a proposal or report specify- ing the subjects the report covers and how broadly or deeply it
covers them.
Secondary audience The audience affected by the decision or action. These people may be asked by the primary audience to
comment on a message or to implement ideas after they’ve been
approved.
Secondary research Research retrieving data someone else gathered.
Sentence fragment A group of words that are not a com- plete sentence but that are punctuated as if they were a
complete sentence.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 522loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 522 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
Glossary 523
U
Umbrella sentence or paragraph A sentence or paragraph list- ing in order the topics that following sentences or paragraphs will
discuss.
Understatement Downplaying or minimizing the size or fea- tures of something.
Unity Using only one idea or topic in a paragraph or other piece of writing.
Unjustified margins Margins that do not end evenly on the right side of the page.
Unstructured interview An interview based on three or four main questions prepared in advance and other questions that build
on what the interviewee says.
V
Verbal communication Communication that uses words; may be either oral or written.
Vested interest The emotional stake readers have in something if they benefit from keeping things just as they are.
Visual impact The visual “first impression” you get when you look at a page.
Volume The loudness or softness of a voice or other sound.
W
Watchdog audience An audience that has political, social, or economic power and that may base future actions on its evaluation
of your message.
White space The empty space on the page. White space empha- sizes material that it separates from the rest of the text.
Withdrawing Being silent in meetings, not contributing, not helping with the work, not attending meetings.
Wordiness Taking more words than necessary to express an idea.
Works cited The sources specifically referred to in a report.
Writing The act of putting words on paper or on a screen, or of dictating words to a machine or a secretary.
Y
You-attitude A style of writing that looks at things from the reader’s point of view, emphasizes what the reader wants to know,
respects the reader’s intelligence, and protects the reader’s ego.
Using you probably increases you-attitude in positive situations. In negative situations or conflict, avoid you because that word will attack the reader.
Summarizing Restating and relating major points, pulling ideas together.
Summary sentence or paragraph A sentence or paragraph list- ing in order the topics that following sentences or paragraphs will
discuss.
Survey A method of getting information from a large group of people.
T
T-letter A job application letter that uses some features from a résumé, such as a bulleted list of skills and experiences.
Table Numbers or words arrayed in rows and columns.
Talking heads Headings that are detailed enough to provide an overview of the material in the sections they introduce.
Teleconferencing Telephone conference calls among three or more people in different locations and video-conferences where
one-way or two-way video supplements the audio channel.
Telephone tag Making and returning telephone calls repeatedly before the two people are on the line at the same time.
10-K report A report filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission summarizing the firm’s financial performance; an
informative document.
Thank-you letter A letter thanking someone for helping you.
Threat A statement, explicit or implied, that someone will be punished if he or she does something.
Tone The implied attitude of the author toward the reader and the subject.
Tone of voice The rising or falling inflection that indicates whether a group of words is a question or a statement, whether the speaker is
uncertain or confident, whether a statement is sincere or sarcastic.
Topic outline An outline listing the main points and the sub- points under each main point. A topic outline is the basis for the
table of contents of a report.
Topic sentence A sentence that introduces or summarizes the main idea in a paragraph. A topic sentence may be either stated or
implied, and it may come anywhere in the paragraph.
Transitions Words, phrases, or sentences that show the connec- tions between ideas.
Transmit To send a message.
Transmittal A memo or letter explaining why something is being sent.
Truncated code Symbols such as asterisks that turn up other forms of a keyword in a computer search.
Truncated scales Graphs with part of the scale missing.
Tweet A massage sent through Twitter.
loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 523loc03261_glo_516-523.indd 523 24/01/13 8:57 PM24/01/13 8:57 PM
Confirming pages
524
Polishing Your Prose Answers
Module 1
1. The design team is making the most of a difficult situation.
3. Mia, who recently graduated from business school, has joined our
department.
5. Downloading a patch for that software glitch should fix the problem.
7. The vice president of our Chicago office, Ajay Sajda, visited the
Atlanta office in May.
9. Josie tweeted an invitation for the reception at the Four Seasons Hotel.
Module 2
1. Dress appropriately for your job interview. Wear your best suit.
3. Because of storms, Ethan’s flight was delayed, so he arrived in
Tulsa 30 minutes after the ceremony started but was able to give his
speech.
5. We’ve narrowed down our hiring choices to Michael, Isabella, and
Dylan. We should schedule another round of interviews to make our
final decision.
7. Liudmila and Carlos developed the reorganization plan for Gemma
Infotech, and in a display of interdepartmental cooperation, Linda,
Mehran, and Alex helped to revise it.
9. Dr. Faulkner, head of the Savannah research project, asked us to send
the report directly to the CDC; we should hear confirmation of the
findings by April 20.
Module 3
1. Tighten our belts means to economize. 3. Get off the ground means to launch a new project. 5. Carry the day means to convince people to support you or your ideas. 7. Crunch the numbers means to calculate or tabulate figures. 9. Pick over the bones means to thoroughly review or consume something.
Module 4
1. Their report notes four markets where increased profits are possible.
3. I’ll check with the managers to find out if their employees feel happy
with their compensation.
5. Three investors asked if we might consider selling our products online.
7. Mike tweeted a message about the sales kickoff planned for the
fifteenth of August.
9. Our fax machine hardly gets used any more, but it’s still an important
piece of office equipment.
Module 5
1. Passive voice is acceptable to show good you-attitude.
3. Unless there is a compelling reason to know who posted the rules, pas-
sive voice is acceptable.
5. Revise: Please keep all personal items locked in drawers to discour-
age theft.
7. Revise: The IT Department purchased a second set of tablet PCs.
9. Revise: We created apps for our customers to access their accounts
with a smartphone.
Module 6
1. It’s a good idea to keep paper copies of documents, as electronic files
can be lost or corrupted.
3. Though the app has been thoroughly tested, it’s a good idea to test it
one more time, just to be certain.
5. Each department should make sure its personnel files are kept
confidential.
7. Patel and Associates is dedicated to making sure its clients receive the
best service possible.
9. While it’s impossible to be prepared for all emergencies, it’s prudent to
have a general disaster plan.
Module 7
1. While we can debate its methodology, the report’s conclusion is clear:
We should expand into South America.
3. Too many departments’ employees are dressing casually on days other
than Friday.
5. This company’s first order of business is to serve the customer as best
as it can.
7. Carefully review each smartphone’s capabilities before committing to
purchase one for business use.
9. Either form is acceptable.
Module 8
1. Dean told us that his customers expect excellent service—even if that
means going above and beyond, such as working past quitting time.
3. The printer’s toner cartridge is jammed, so someone will need to take a
look at it.
5. Cassandra emerged from the meeting with a big smile and said, “The
ayes have it!”
7. Because our pool cars are expensive to maintain, we’re thinking of
using rentals instead next year.
9. When reviewing her team’s progress, Martina found that many efforts
in 2012 paid off.
Module 9
1. My tablet PC’s apps are truly exceptional.
3. We make more profit in one week in Asia than in a whole month in
the U.S.
5. Either Ashley or Phillip needs to submit an expense report for the team.
7. Even though Jill, Marianne, Theodore, and Svetlana have traveled
extensively, they are still good candidates for intercultural communica-
tion training.
9. There are many good reasons to start saving early for retirement. The
most obvious is time is on your side.
loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 524loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 524 23/01/13 9:01 AM23/01/13 9:01 AM
Confirming pages
Polishing Your Prose Answers 525
Module 10
1. Traveling overseas on business, I saw that the sights were absolutely
incredible.
3. Ringing over and over, the phone was finally answered by me.
5. Imagining the worst, I really worried about traveling this weekend
because of the storm.
7. After carefully selecting from all of my investment options, I was
pleased to find that my mutual funds yielded a 7% return this past year.
9. Featuring so many great apps, the website made it hard for me to
choose which ones to download.
Module 11
1. Tanika sent copies of the memo to Accounting, Public Relations, Mar-
keting, and Purchasing.
3. Jayden e-mailed to let us know that customers in our south, north, and
west offices could use more supplies.
5. When Esther came to fix the copier, she pointed out that it needed a
new toner cartridge, paper tray, and keyboard.
7. Make sure you order supplies for the strategic planning retreat: pens,
paper, giant notepads, markers, Post-it notes, file folders, and two-
sided tape.
9. Bailey, Valdez, and Shepherd expect to open sales offices in the
following countries:
a. Brazil.
b. Argentina.
c. Mexico.
d. El Salvador.
Module 12
1. This voice sounds autocratic.
3. This voice is condescending.
5. This voice is curt.
7. This voice sounds unfocused and unprofessional.
9. This voice sounds stuffy and presumptuous.
Module 13
1. My college lowered its parking sticker costs about $10 a year.
3. I have to mind my Ps and Qs, I discovered, if I’m going to get ahead in
this world.
5. Victor said his greatest achievement was being selected as “Man of the
Year” by the Rotary Club.
7. My mother told me that when she was a little girl, she learned she can’t
always believe what she hears.
9. At Singh and Associates, I told my parents, I learned I have to do my
best to get noticed.
Module 14
1. We hope we can expand our marketing efforts to Canada in the next
few months.
3. Though Gregory said he had an oral agreement with Parker, Sandy
reminded him that it should have been in writing.
5. Sue Ellen wondered if the plan to go quickly to the supply store before
the meeting would instead make them late.
7. While they had an oral disagreement on the phone yesterday, they
stayed professional and patched things up today.
9. Carolyn said she expects that the Purchasing, Public Relations and
Building Management Departments will each send its representatives
to the meeting.
Module 15
1. Jessica went to college in Texas, but her sister stayed in Indiana and
attended a local private university.
3. George said he was going to be late for the meeting, but Charlene said
she would be there on time, so let’s plan still getting together at 1 p.m.
5. Tucker wants to know if he should stay later tonight, but I haven’t
heard from Andy yet, and Paulette told me she would call back in a few
minutes.
7. The letter traveled to several offices before it got to me. I only just read
it, so it may take me a while to consider what it says. You might want
to come back in an hour.
9. While St. Augustine was my first choice, I really like Tampa. I found a
terrific place to live that is close to the beach, but it is very affordable.
I think I’m really going to like it here!
Module 16
1. The best years for our stock were 1995, 2004, 2010, and 2012.
3. We’ve got enough time to tour three of the region’s cities, so choose
from Nome, Alaska; Dearborn, Michigan; Gary, Indiana; Chicago, Illi-
nois; or Lexington, Kentucky.
5. I can see that when Juan takes charge in April, we can expect to see
profit increases in May, June, July, and August.
7. Because we only have enough money in the budget for one attendee,
we’ll have to select Eve, Gail, Dominic, or Lynetta to go.
9. Our international division wants the board to tour Kyoto, Japan;
Beijing, China; Berne, Switzerland; Mainz, Germany; and Toronto,
Canada.
Module 17
1. We’re going to reorganize the department. John and Anthony, our for-
mer summer intern, will do media relations while Talia and Deb will
join our web development team. Russ, Alexi, and Caroline will stay in
market research. Seydina will move to long-range planning.
3. Last week, I got a new cell phone. It has Internet and Bluetooth capa-
bility, and I can even store video and TV shows on it and recharge it
wirelessly. Being the latest technology, the phone also has a 2 MPX
camera, a full-color screen, and a projector. Of course, I can text with
it, too, and it works as a phone. I replaced my older phone, which
worked but did not have a projector or Wi-Fi connectivity. Though that
phone was only two years old, I went online and bought the new one.
I’d be lost without my cell phone!
5. I began my career working in packaging for Van Eyck Industries.
During my two years with Van Eyck, I spent most of my time on the
assembly line, operating hydraulic and boxing equipment. Then I took
a junior position in logistics with Evergreen Plastics. I worked there
for four years. At Evergreen Plastics, I started as an assembly line
supervisor but was offered a position with logistics within a year. I
then helped to plan and coordinate the delivery of recyclables to make
product, as well as the delivery of finished product to more than 100
stores and other businesses throughout the state.
Module 18
1. I’m confused by elements of this report.
3. This document could be improved with greater clarity.
5. This is a good effort but could still use improvement.
7. You might benefit from further training in writing and editing.
9. Let’s fix the spelling and grammar errors in this memo.
Module 19
1. Mark told us he expects the shipment—which was delayed because of
the hurricane—to arrive on Wednesday.
3. The year-long project required Curtis, Shanna, and Alexander to travel
throughout Asia and South America.
5. While the electrical supply order was correct, we also needed two-foot
and three-foot lengths of cord.
7. Though we are doing a good job of marketing to our European-
American customers, our Asian- and African-American customers
could be served better.
9. There were seven or eight consultants at the IT meeting—certainly a lot
more than anyone expected when we scheduled the meeting last April.
loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 525loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 525 23/01/13 9:01 AM23/01/13 9:01 AM
Confirming pages
526 Polishing Your Prose Answers
Module 20
1. The meeting with Cochran, Weiss, and Landon went very well, and
what we must do now is complete our bid specs.
3. The first thing I noticed about Nanda is that she is skilled at negotiation.
5. Franz let us know that he is willing to give us choices for which pro-
gram to use.
7. I’m pleased that Dalton listed the executives who will be attending the
meeting in Olathe, but I’m concerned that he may have ranked them
inappropriately.
9. Before anyone erases old files, Gary told us, they should have a good
reason to not keep them.
Module 21
1. Cason took the Graduate Record Examination at Sinclair Community
College this past Wednesday.
3. Prior to working with Locke, Crane, and Bischoff, Natalie worked for
Microsoft in Redmond, Washington.
5. Doubtless, Jeannie said at the meeting last week, our customers expect
the best in service.
7. Riana Tilden will be vice president of OCSEA in 2015, at which time
Denny Chang will become president.
9. Once I pass my last three classes at Michigan State University, I will
receive my Masters in Public Administration.
Module 22
1. Wight, Jonathan B. Personal interview. 04 July 2004.
3. O’Rourke, P. J. The CEO of the Sofa. New York: Atlantic Monthly P, 2001. Print.
5. United States. Environmental Protection Agency. “An Office Building
Occupant’s Guide to Indoor Air Quality.” Environmental Protection
Agency, n.d. Web. 1 Aug. 2009.
Visiting the site provides more information, including that the guide
was published in October 1997 by the U.S. Environmental Protection
Agency. Though the web page uses quotation marks for the title, MLA
treats guides and pamphlets with no authors as a book. Therefore, an
acceptable entry could be:
United States. Environmental Protection Agency. An Office Building Occupant’s Guide to Indoor Air Quality. Oct. 1997. Web. 1 Aug. 2009.
7. Locker, Kitty O., and Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek. Business Communi- cation: Building Critical Skills. 5th ed. Boston: McGraw-Hill/Irwin, 2011. Print.
9. Husker Fever Card. U of Nebraska, 2004. Web. 20 June 2012.
Module 23
1. It is in the best interest of our business, Sam Chen said, to make our
company’s buildings at least three stories.
3. Take this release to Andrea, please, and ask her to sign it. Bring it back
to me by 5 p.m.
5. Heather Ansel said that she is coming to the annual dinner celebration
on March 19.
7. At 11:34 a.m., Margaret Kim e-mailed that we had been awarded a
contract with Tanner, Dempsey, and Mihalek.
9. I have been attending business classes at the community college near
my office.
Module 24
Barbara Gillespie-Kim joins our Web Development Department after more
than 10 years working with Lerner and Thorpe Associates in San Jose,
California, a technology consulting firm specializing in helping companies
use the Internet. She started as a technical writer and later led several project
teams, including those specializing in Web development, market research,
and customer relations. Barbara worked closely with clients throughout
the west coast, as far away as Seoul, South Korea; Jakarta, Indonesia;
and Osaka, Japan. She received her B.A. in English from San Jose State
University, graduating summa cum laude, and her M.A. in Interdisciplinary
Studies from California State University, Los Angeles, graduating with a
perfect GPA. She specialized in technical writing in her bachelor’s program
at California State and in a combined program of multimedia design, Web
page development, and graphic design at San Jose State. Barbara speaks
Korean fluently and, in her words, “just enough Japanese and Indonesian to
embarrass myself!” Please welcome her aboard.
Module 25
1. Improving Customer Relations
3. Will you be in your office at 3 p.m.?
5. You’re Invited to Lily’s Party
7. Marketing, Public Relations, and Shipping and Receiving
9. Goals for 2014
• Expanding into China.
• Expanding into Mexico.
• Expanding into Brazil.
Module 26
1. We like Ann because of her winning personality and generous nature.
3. Excellent communication skills, a desire to help the Bozeman Com-
pany reach its goals, and a proven track record in sales makes me a
great candidate for the job.
5. Our Electricity Miser comes with a three-year limited warranty, a
guarantee to save you at least 25% on your monthly utility bill, and
more standard features than any similar product on the market.
7. Bailey said she expects us to be at the exit within the next 10 minutes.
9. Munahil told us she is excited about the sales and marketing job oppor-
tunities with the Oliver Kane Company.
Module 27
Multiple answers are possible (e.g., abbreviations versus using the com- plete terms; appropriate format changes; updating “2007” to “2012” or later). 1. August 20, 2007
W.W. Lyndhurst, Inc.
10002 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 21211
Mr. Frank Sugarman
1201 North 5th Street
Detroit, MI 48201
Dear Mr. Sugarman:
Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding your order of July 17,
2007. As you know, we at W.W. Lyndhurst, Inc., value your satisfac-
tion. Rest assured that a replacement part is on its way.
Should you require anything else, please call me at 1-800-555-1209.
Once again, thank you.
Sincerely,
Kevin Corcoran
Module 28
1. Your enthusiasm might be a better match than mine for writing this
report. (A statement like this can also be omitted.)
3. Collette said that you and I need to make sure our travel requests are in
by August 1.
loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 526loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 526 23/01/13 9:01 AM23/01/13 9:01 AM
Confirming pages
Polishing Your Prose Answers 527
5. My boss, Guy Richards, doesn’t like it if I call him by his first name.
7. The error on the report almost cost us the account.
9. When Cooper and I give the presentation at Bockner and Basche, we’ll
be giving it our all.
Module 29
1. A bond can be a cord or rope, a financial product, an agreement or relationship, or the act of joining things together.
3. Tweet can be the sound a bird makes or a brief message using Twitter. 5. Smart can mean clever or intelligent, to feel a stinging pain, or a type
of device, usually a phone, featuring advanced technology.
7. A market is a place or arena to sell goods or services as well as the act of buying or selling. In slang terms, it also is shorthand for the stock market.
9. People generally think of a raise as an increase in pay, but it can also mean to build or lift. In games like poker, it is the act of increasing a bet.
Module 30
1. With whom are you attending the annual meeting?
3. Zach and I expected Jordyn to bring only the digital camera, but she
brought a laptop, too.
5. Loren Adelson let Kenji and me know that the marketing brochures
arrived from Caspar Printing this morning.
7. No one was sure for whom the packages were intended, so Ron,
Christina, and I took them back to the mail room.
9. We thought we knew who made the call, but it turns out Rachel and I
wrote down two different names.
loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 527loc03261_pyp_524-527.indd 527 23/01/13 9:01 AM23/01/13 9:01 AM
Confirming pages
528
Endnotes
Module 1
1. Dana Mattioli , “With Fewer U.S. Opportunities, Home Looks Appeal-
ing to Expats,” December 17, 2009 , The Wall Street Journal, http:// online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704869304574595831070
819244.html .
2. Jeremy Greenfield, “Unemployment: The New Norm,” May 26, 2011,
http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/112786/unemployment-
new-norm-fins.
3. Hope Yen, “1 in 2 New Graduates are Jobless or Underemployed,”
April 23, 2012, http://finance.yahoo.com/news/1-2-graduates- jobless-
underemployed-140300522.html
4. Hillel Itlaie, “Government Study: Americans Reading Less,” November
19, 2007, http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071119/ap_en_ot/books_
nea_study.
5. “Study: College Students Lack Literacy for Complex Tasks,” January
20, 2006, www.cnn.com/2006/EDUCATION/01/20/literacy.college.
students.ap/index.html.
6. National Association of Colleges and Employers, “Employers Identify
the Skills, Qualities of the ‘Ideal Candidate,’” news release, January
15, 2004 , downloaded at the NACE web site, www.naceweb.org .
7. Brad Humphrey and Jeff Stokes, “The 21st Century Supervisor,”
HRMagazine, May 2000 , downloaded from Infotrac at http:// web.1.infotrac.galegroup.com .
8. Robyn D. Clarke, “A New Labor Day,” Black Enterprise, February 2001, 98 .
9. U.S. Chamber of Commerce, downloaded at www.uschamber.com/
cwp/strategies/literacy/default.htm , July 20, 2005 .
10. Justin Pope , “Poor Writing Costs Taxpayers Millions,” Business- Week, downloaded at www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/ D8B4KS0G3.htm?campaign_id = apn_home_up , July 25, 2005; and The College Board National Commission on Writing, “Writing Can
Be a Ticket to Professional Jobs, Says Blue-Ribbon Group,” news
release, September 2004, downloaded at www.writingcommission.org/
pr/ writing_for_employ.html .
11. Anne Fisher , “Ask Annie,” Fortune, March 1, 1999, 244 . 12. Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor , “Secretaries
and Administrative Assistants,” in Occupational Outlook Handbook, 2004 –5 Edition, downloaded at www.bls.gove , May 27, 2004 (last
modified March 21, 2004 ).
13. Henry Mintzberg , The Nature of Managerial Work (New York: Harper & Row , 1973 ), 32, 65 .
14. Frederick K. Moss , “Perceptions of Communication in the Corporate
Community,” Journal of Business and Technical Communication 9, no. 1 (January 1995): 67 .
15. Diana Booher , Cutting Paperwork in the Corporate Culture (New York: Facts on File , 1986 ), 24; and U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics,
Department of Labor , “Employer Costs for Employee Compensa-
tion Summary,” news release, February 26, 2004, downloaded at
http://bls.gov .
16. Claudia MonPere McIsaac and Mary Ann Aschauer , “Proposal Writing
at Atherton Jordan , Inc.: An Ethnographic Study,” Management Com- munication Quarterly 3 ( 1990 ): 535 .
17. Watson Wyatt Worldwide , “Effective Employee Communication Linked
to Greater Shareholder Returns, Watson Wyatt Study Finds,” news
release, November 3, 2003, downloaded at www.watsonwyatt.com ; and
“The Best Policy Now: Less ‘Spin’ and More Honesty,” HR Focus, April 2004, downloaded from Infotrac at http://web1.infotrac.galegroup.com .
Module 2
1. Audiences 1, 3, and 4 are based on J. C. Mathes and Dwight Stevenson,
Designing Technical Reports: Writing for Audiences in Organizations, 2nd ed. (New York: Macmillan , 1991 ), 40. The fifth audience is sug-
gested by Vincent J. Brown, “Facing Multiple Audiences in Engineering
and R&D Writing: The Social Context of a Technical Report,” Journal of Technical Writing and Communication 24, no. 1 (1994): 67–75 .
2. Amiso M. George, “Cultivating Effective Internal Communication—
Strategies That Work: The Case of USAA Insurance and Financial Ser-
vices,” Association for Business Communication Annual Meeting, Los
Angeles , November 3–6, 1999 .
3. Isabel Briggs Myers , Introduction to Type (Palo Alto, CA: Consult- ing Psychologists Press, 1980 ). The material in this section follows
Myers’s paper.
4. Isabel Briggs Myers and Mary H. McCaulley , Manual: A Guide to the Development and Use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (Palo Alto, CA: Consulting Psychologists Press, 1985 ), 251, 248, respectively.
5. Ray B. Williams, “Wired for Success: How to Fulfill Your Potential,”
May 25, 2012, Psychology Today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/ blog/wired-success/201205/why-it-s-time-quiet-introverted-leaders.
6. SRIC-BI, “Representative VALS Projects,” SRIC- BI web site, www.
sric-bi-com , downloaded June 2, 2004; and Sandra Yin, “Your Ques-
tions Answered,” American Demographics, December 1, 2003, down- loaded from Infotrac at http://web3infotrac.galegroup.com .
7. SRI Consulting Business Intelligence (SRIC-BI), “Global Leader in
Psychological Consumer Segmentation Announces System Enhance-
ments to Anticipate the Evolving Marketplace,” news release,
November 18, 2002 , SRIC- BI web site, www.sric-bi.com .
8. Anne Fisher , “Internet Buyers Are Not What You Think,” Fortune, January 10, 2000, 190 .
9. Jennifer Lach , “Data Mining Digs In,” American Demographics, July 1999, 42 .
10. Cecilia Rothenberger , “Consulting Culture: Two Companies Uncovered,”
Fast Company, downloaded at www.fastcompany.com/ articles/2000/11/ act_culture.html , July 13, 2005 .
11. Matt Siegel , “The Perils of Culture Conflict,” Fortune, November 9, 1998, 258 .
12. Linda Driskill , “Negotiating Differences among Readers and Writers,”
presented at the Conference on College Composition and Communica-
tion, San Diego, CA, March 31–April 3, 1993.
loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 528loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 528 28/01/13 11:14 PM28/01/13 11:14 PM
Confirming pages
Endnotes 529
Module 3
1. Steve Lohr , “Hello, India? I Need Help With My Math,” The New York Times, October 31, 2007, downloaded at www.nytimes.com/ 2007/10/31/business/worldbusiness/31butler.html .
2. Clare Ansberry , “Sending Jobs Overseas Draws Debate at Home,”
The Wall Street Journal, January 22, 2006, downloaded at www. careerjournal.com/hrcenter/articles/20030724- ansberry.html .
3. See, for example, W. B. Johnson and A. E. Packer , Workforce 2000 (Indianapolis: Hudson Institute, 1987). The population estimates are
unchanged; see Robyn D. Clarke, “The Future Is Now,” Black Enter- prise, February 2000, 99 .
4. Bureau of the Census, Statistical Abstract of the United States 1997, Table 22, 22–23 .
5. Cited in Farai Chideya, The Color of Our Future (New York: Morrow, 1999 ), 17 .
6. “Amazing Numbers,” Selling Power, September 1996, 28 . 7. “Harvard Tracking Religious Diversity,” The Columbus Dispatch,
November 13, 1993, 10H .
8. Joel Dreyfuss , “Get Ready for the New Work Force,” Fortune, April 23, 1990, 165 .
9. Gail Edmondson , “See the World, Erase Its Borders,” BusinessWeek, August 28, 2000, 113 .
10. Mark Clifford and Manjeet Kripalani , “Different Countries, Adjoining
Cubicles,” BusinessWeek, August 28, 2000, 182–84; Manjeet Kripalani and Pete Engardio, “The Rise of India,” BusinessWeek, December 8, 2003, 66–72ff; and Michael Arndt, “Why 3M Feels Right at Home in
China,” BusinessWeek, April 12, 2004, downloaded from Infotrac at http://web7.infotrac.galegroup.com .
11. Poppy Lauretta McLeod , Sharon Alisa Lobel , and Taylor H. Cox,
Jr. , “Ethnic Diversity and Creativity in Small Groups,” Small Group Research 27, no. 2 (May 1996): 248–64 .
12. David A. Victor, International Business Communication (New York: HarperCollins, 1992 ), 148–60 .
13. John Webb and Michael Keene , “The Impact of Discourse Communi-
ties on International Professional Communication,” in Exploring the Rhetoric of International Professional Communication: An Agenda for Teachers and Researchers, ed. Carl R. Lovitt with Dixie Goswami (Amityville, NY: Baywood, 1999), 81–109 .
14. Christina Haas and Jeffrey L. Funk , “‘Shared Information’: Some
Observations of Communication in Japanese Technical Settings,” Tech- nical Communication 36, no. 4 ( November 1989): 365 .
15. Thomas Kochman , Black and White Styles in Conflict (Chicago: Uni- versity of Chicago Press , 1981 ), 44–45 .
16. Laray M. Barna, “Stumbling Blocks in Intercultural Communication,
in Intercultural Communication, ed. Larry A. Samovar and Richard E. Porter (Belmont, CA: Wadsworth , 1985), 331 .
17. Marjorie Fink Vargas , Louder than Words (Ames: Iowa State Univer- sity Press , 1986 ), 47 .
18. Michael Argyle , Bodily Communication (New York: International Uni- versity Press , 1975), 89 .
19. Jerrold J. Merchant, “Korean Interpersonal Patterns: Implications for
Korean/American Intercultural Communication,” Communication 9 (October 1980): 65 .
20. Ray L. Birdwhistell, Kinesics and Context: Essays on Body Motion Com- munication (Philadelphia: University of Philadelphia Press, 1970 ), 81 .
21. Paul Ekman , Wallace V. Friesen , and John Bear , “The International
Language of Gestures,” Psychology Today 18, no. 5 (May 1984): 64 . 22. Carmen Judith Nine-Curt , “Hispanic-Anglo Conflicts in Nonverbal
Communication,” in Perspectivas Pedagogicas, ed. I. Abin o et al. (San Juan: Universidad de Puerto Rico, 1983), 235 .
23. Baxter, 1970, reported in Marianne LaFrance, “Gender Gestures: Sex,
Sex-Role, and Nonverbal Communication, in Gender and Nonverbal Behavior, ed. Clara Mayo and Nancy M. Henley (New York: Springer- Verlag , 1981 ), 130 .
24. Nine-Curt, “Hispanic-Anglo Conflicts,” 238 .
25. Brenda Major , “Gender Patterns in Touching Behavior,” in Gender and Nonverbal Behavior, ed. Clara Mayo and Nancy M. Henley (New York: Springer-Verlag , 1981 ), 26 , 28 .
26. “Minor Memos,” The Wall Street Journal, February 12, 1988, 1 . 27. Natalie Porter and Florence Gies , “Women and Nonverbal Leader-
ship Cues: When Seeing Is Not Believing,” in Gender and Nonverbal Behavior, ed. Clara Mayo and Nancy M. Henley (New York: Springer- Verlag , 1981 ), 48–49 .
28. Robert C. Christopher, Second to None: American Companies in Japan (New York: Crown, 1986 ), 102–03 .
29. John Condon and Keisuke Kurata , In Search of What’s Japanese about Japan (Tokyo: Shufunotomo Company, 1974 ), 77 .
30. Lawrence B. Nadler , Marjorie Keeshan Nadler, and Benjamin J.
Broome, “Culture and the Management of Conflict Situations,” in
Communication, Culture, and Organizational Processes, ed. William B. Gudykunst, Lea P. Stewart, and Stella Ting-Toomey (Beverly Hills,
CA: Sage, 1985), 103 .
31. Argyle, Bodily Communication, 90 . 32. Mary Ritchie Key , Paralangauge and Kinesics (Metuchen, NJ: Scare-
crow, 1975 ), 23 .
33. Fred Hitzhusen , conversation with Kitty Locker, January 31, 1988.
34. Lisa Davis , “The Height Report: A Look at Stature and Status,” The Columbus Dispatch, January 19, 1988 , E1, New York Times Special Features.
35. Deborah Tannen , That’s Not What I Meant! (New York: William Morrow, 1986 ).
36. Karen Ritchie , “Marketing to Generation X,” American Demograph- ics, April 1995, 34–36 .
37. Thomas Kochman , Black and White Styles in Conflict (Chicago: Uni- versity of Chicago Press , 1981 ), 103 .
38. Daniel N. Maltz and Ruth A. Borker, “A Cultural Approach to
Male-Female Miscommunication,” in Language and Social Iden- tity, ed. John J. Gumperz (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press , 1982 ), 202 .
39. Vincent O’Neill , “Training the Multi-Cultural Manager,” Sixth Annual
EMU Conference on Languages and Communication for World Busi-
ness and the Professions, Ann Arbor, MI, May 7–9, 1987 .
40. Akihisa Kumayama , comment during discussion, Sixth Annual EMU
Conference on Languages and Communication for World Business
and the Professions, Ann Arbor, MI, May 7–9, 1987 .
41. Muriel Saville-Troike , “An Integrated Theory of Communication,”
in Perspectives on Silence, ed. Deborah Tannen and Muriel S aville- Troike (Norwood, NJ: Ablex, 1985), 10–11 .
42. Brenda Arbeláez , statement to Kitty Locker, December 12, 1996 .
43. Barbara Rose , “Baby Boomers, 20-Somethings Butting Heads at
Work,” Chicago Tribune, October 1, 2007, downloaded on October 30, 2007, at www.dispatch.com/live/content/business/stories/2007/10/01/
wrk_boomers_gen_y_1001.ART_ART_10-01-07_C14_JS81MD1.
html?sid = 101 . 44. Sharon Jayson , “Generation Y’s Goal? Wealth and Fame,” USA
Today, January 10, 2007, downloaded at www.usatoday.com/news/ nation/2007-01-09-gen-y-cover_x.htm ; and Jack Loeschner, “Half of
All Web Viewers Watching What the Other Half Has to Say.” September
11, 2007, downloaded at http://publications.mediapost.com/index.
cfm?fuseaction = Articles.showArticle&art_aid = 67126 . 45. Loeschner, “Half of All Web Viewers Watching What the Other Half
Has to Say.”
46. Rose, “Baby Boomers, 20-Somethings Butting Heads at Work.”
47. “Generation Y Biggest User of Libraries: Survey,” December 30,
2007 , downloaded at http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071230/us_nm/
internet_libraries_dc .
48. Brad Edmondson , “What Do You Call a Dark-Skinned Person?”
American Demographics, October 1993, 9 .
loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 529loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 529 28/01/13 11:14 PM28/01/13 11:14 PM
Confirming pages
530 Endnotes
49. Lisa Tyler , “Communicating about People with Disabilities: Does the
Language We Use Make a Difference?” The Bulletin of the Association for Business Communication 53, no. 3 (September 1990): 65 .
50. Marilyn A. Dyrud, “An Exploration of Gender Bias in Computer Clip
Art,” Business Communication Quarterly 60, no. 4 (December 1997): 30–51 .
51. “Microsoft Apologizes for Changing Race in Photo,” August 26, 2009 ,
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_tec_microsoft_poland_picture .
Module 4
1. See especially Linda Flower and John R. Hayes, “The Cognition of
Discovery: Defining a Rhetorical Problem,” College Composition and Communication 31 (February 1980): 21–32; and the essays in two collections: Charles R. Cooper and Lee Odell, Research on Compos- ing: Points of Departure (Urbana, IL: National Council of Teachers of English, 1978), and Mike Rose, ed., When a Writer Can’t Write: Stud- ies in Writer’s Block and Other Composing-Process Problems (New York: Guilford Press , 1985 ).
2. Rebecca E. Burnett, “Content and Commas: How Attitudes Shape
a Communication-Across-the-Curriculum Program,” Association
for Business Communication Convention, Orlando, FL, November
1–4, 1995 .
3. Peter Elbow , Writing with Power: Techniques for Mastering the Writ- ing Process (New York: Oxford University Press , 1981 ), 15–20 .
4. See Gabriela Lusser Rico , Writing the Natural Way ( Los Angeles : J. P. Tarcher , 1983 ), 10 .
5. Rachel Spilka , “Orality and Literacy in the Workplace: Process- and
Text-Based Strategies for Multiple Audience Adaptation,” Journal of Business and Technical Communication 4, no. 1 (January 1990): 44–67 .
6. Fred Reynolds , “What Adult Work-World Writers Have Taught Me
About Adult Work-World Writing,” Professional Writing in Context: Lessons from Teaching and Consulting in Worlds of Work (Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates , 1995), 18–21 .
7. Raymond W. Beswick, “Communicating in the Automated Office,”
American Business Communication Association International Con-
vention, New Orleans, LA, October 20, 1982 .
8. Dianna Booher , Cutting Paperwork in the Corporate Culture (New York: Facts on File Publications, 1986), 23 .
9. Susan D. Kleimann, “The Complexity of Workplace Review,” Techni- cal Communication 38, no. 4 (1991): 520–26 .
10. This three-step process is modeled on the one suggested by Barbara L.
Shwom and Penny L. Hirsch, “Managing the Drafting Process: Creat-
ing a New Model for the Workplace,” The Bulletin of the Association for Business Communication 57, no. 2 (June 1994): 10 .
11. Glenn J. Broadhead and Richard C. Freed, The Variables of Composi- tion: Process and Product in a Business Setting, Conference on Col- lege Composition and Communication Studies in Writing and Rhetoric
(Carbondale, IL: Southern Illinois University Press , 1986), 57 .
12. Robert Boice , “Writing Blocks and Tacit Knowledge,” Journal of Higher Education 64, no. 1 (January/February 1993), 41–43 .
Module 5
1. Linda Reynolds , “The Legibility of Printed Scientific and Technical
Information,” Information Design, ed. Ronald Easterby and Harm Zwaga (New York: Wiley , 1984 ), 187–208 .
2. Once we know how to read English, the brain first looks to see whether
an array of letters follows the rules of spelling. If it does, the brain then
treats the array as a word (even if it isn’t one, such as tweal ). The shape is processed in individual letters only when the shape is not enough
to suggest meaning. Jerry E. Bishop, “Word Processing: Research on
Stroke Victims Yields Clues to the Brain’s Capacity to Create Lan-
guage,” The Wall Street Journal, October 12, 1993, A6 . 3. M. Gregory and E. C. Poulton , “Even Versus Uneven Right-Hand
Margins and the Rate of Comprehension of Reading,” Ergonomics 13 (1970): 427–34 .
4. Marilyn A. Dyrud, “An Exploration of Gender Bias in Computer Clip
Art,” Business Communication Quarterly 60, no. 4 (December 1997): 30–51 .
5. Mike Slocombe , “Design and Deliver!” Internet Magazine, January 15, 2004, downloaded from Infotrac at http://web7.infotrac.galegroup.
com ; Reid Goldsborough, “Substance, Not Style, Draws Hits,” Phila- delphia Enquirer, May 20, 2004, downloaded at www.philly.com ; Sean McManus, “Lost in Translation,” Internet Magazine, July 2004, downloaded from Infotrac at http://web7.infotrac.galegroup.com ;
Jakob Nielsen, “How Long Do Users Stay on Web Pages?” Septem-
ber 12, 2011, http://www.useit.com/alertbox/page-abandonment-time.
html; and Jakob Nielsen, “Website Response Times,” June 21, 2010,
http://www.useit.com/alertbox/response-times.html.
Module 7
1. Charles Burck , “Learning from a Master,” Fortune, December 27, 1993, 144; Kathy Casto, “Assumptions about Audience in Negative
Messages,” Association for Business Communication Midwest Con-
ference, Kansas City, MO, April 30–May 2, 1987; and John P. Wanous
and A. Colella, “Future Directions in Organizational Entry Research,”
Research in Personnel/Human Resource Management, ed. Kenneth Rowland and G. Ferris (Greenwich, CT: JAI Press , 1990 ).
2. Annette N. Shelby and N. Lamar Reinsch , Jr. “Positive Emphasis and
You-Attitude: An Empirical Study,” Journal of Business Communica- tion 32, no. 4 (October 1995): 303–327 .
3. Alan Farnham , “Are You Smart Enough to Keep Your Job?” Fortune, January 15, 1996, 42 .
4. Mark A. Sherman, “Adjectival Negation and the Comprehension of
Multiple Negated Sentences,” Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behavior 15 (1976): 143–57 .
5. Margaret Baker Graham and Carol David , “Power and Politeness:
Administrative Writing in an ‘Organized Anarchy,’ ” Journal of Busi- ness and Technical Communication 10.1 (January 1996): 5–27 .
6. John Hagge and Charles Kostelnick , “Linguistic Politeness in Profes-
sional Prose: A Discourse Analysis of Auditors’ Suggestion Letters,
with Implications for Business Communication Pedagogy,” Written Communication 6, no. 3 (July 1989): 312–39 .
7. Suzanne Hoholik , “Medical Apologies: Doctors Advised to Say
‘Sorry,’” The Columbus Dispatch, April 23, 2007, downloaded at www.dispatch.com/dispatch/content/local_news/stories/2007/04/23/
imsorry.ART_ART_04-23-07_A1_IH6FE4V.html .
Module 8
1. See Tove Helland Hammer and H. Peter Dachler , “A Test of Some
Assumptions Underlying the Path-Goal Model of Supervision: Some
Suggested Conceptual Modifications,” Organizational Behavior and Human Performance 14 (1975): 73 .
2. Edward E. Lawler, III, Motivation in Work Organizations (Monterey, CA: Brooks/Cole, 1973 ), 59. Lawler also notes a third obstacle: People
may settle for performance and rewards that are just OK. Offering
reader benefits, however, does nothing to affect this obstacle.
3. Abraham H. Maslow, Motivation and Personality (New York: Harper & Row , 1954 ).
4. Diane Cadrain , “Cash vs. Non-cash Rewards,” HRMagazine, April 2003, downloaded from Infotrac at http://web5.infotrac.galegroup.
com ; and Jennifer Gilbert, “Motivating Through the Ages,” Sales & Marketing Management, November 2003; downloaded from Infotrac at http://web5.infotrac.galegroup .
5. Rachel Emma Silverman , “Just Married, with Children: The Family-
moon,” The Wall Street Journal, May 21, 2003, D1, D4 . 6. John J. Weger reports Herzberg’s research in Motivating Supervisors
(New York: American Management Association , 1971 ), 53–54 .
7. Diane L. Coutu, “Human Resources: The Wages of Stress,” Harvard Business Review, November–December 1998, 21–24; and Charles Fishman, “Sanity, Inc.,” Fast Company, January 1999, 85–99 .
loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 530loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 530 28/01/13 11:14 PM28/01/13 11:14 PM
Confirming pages
Endnotes 531
7. John D. Hartigan, “Giving Kids Condoms Won’t Work,” The Wall Street Journal, December 19, 1990, A16 .
8. J. C. Mathes and Dwight W. Stevenson, Designing Technical Reports: Writing for Audiences in Organizations (Indianapolis: Bobbs-Merrill, 1979 ), 18–19 .
9. Daniel J. O’Keefe, Persuasion (Newbury Park, CA: Sage, 1990), 168;
Joanne Martin and Melanie E. Powers, “Truth or Corporate Propa-
ganda,” Organizational Symbolism, ed. Louis R. Pondy, Thomas C. Dandridge, Gareth Morgan, and Peter J. Frost (Greenwich, CT: JAI
Press 1983 ), 97–107; and Dean C. Kazoleas, “A Comparison of the
Persuasive Effectiveness of Qualitative versus Quantitative Evidence:
A Test of Explanatory Hypotheses,” Communication Quarterly 41, no. 1 (Winter 1993): 40–50 .
10. “Phoning Slow Payers Pays Off,” Inc., July 1996, 95 . 11. An earlier draft of this problem and analysis appeared in Francis W.
Weeks and Kitty O. Locker, Business Writing Problems and Cases (Champaign, IL: Stipes, 1984 ), 96–99 .
Module 13
1. Sara Kiesler , Jane Siegel , and Timothy W. McGuire , “Social Psycho-
logical Aspects of Computer-Mediated Communication,” American Psychologist 39, no. 10 (October 1984): 1129. People still find it easier to be negative in e-mail than on paper or in person; see John Affleck,
“You’ve Got Bad News,” Associated Press, June 19, 1999 .
2. Bettina A. Bair, “Teaching Technology,” e-mail to Kitty Locker,
October 22, 1999 .
3. John Morkes and Jakob Nielsen , “Concise, SCANNABLE, and Objec-
tive: How to Write for the Web,” 1997 , downloaded at www.useit.com/
alertbox/9710a.html .
4. Stephen Baker and Heather Green , “Blogs Will Change Your Busi-
ness,” BusinessWeek, May 2, 2005, downloaded at www.businessweek. com/magazine/content/05_18/b3931001_mz001.htm .
5. Jeff Wuorio , “Blogging for Business: 7 Tips for Getting Started,”
downloaded at www.microsoft.com/ small-business/resources/marketing/
online_marketing/blogging_for_business_7_tips_for_getting_started.
mspx , October 7, 2005 .
6. Ki Mae Heussner , “Woman Loses Benefits After Posting Facebook Pics,”
ABC News, November 23, 2009, http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/ AheadoftheCurve/woman-loses-insurance-benefits-facebook-pics/
story?id = 9154741&page = 1 . 7. Steven Kurutz , “Twitter 101: DePaul University’s Social Media Prof
Gives His Syllabus,” The Wall Street Journal, September 1, 2009, http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2009/09/01/twitter-101-depaul-
universitys-social-media-prof-gives-his-syllabus/ .
Module 15
1. Interoffice memo in a steel company.
2. Caleb Solomon , “Clearing the Air: EPA-Amoco Study of Refinery
Finds Pollution Rules Focusing on Wrong Part of It,” The Wall Street Journal, March 29, 1993, A6 .
3. Philip B. Crosby, Quality Is Free: The Art of Making Quality Certain (New York: New American Library, 1979 ), 79–84 .
4. News-Gazette, Champaign-Urbana, IL, January 16, 1979 , C- 8 . 5. Richard C. Anderson, “Concretization and Sentence Learning,” Jour-
nal of Educational Psychology 66, no. 2 (1974): 179–83 . 6. Based on Lynn Ashby, “7, 8, Facilitate,” Houston Post, February 17,
1978 .
7. Lindsay Tanner , “Products with Good Bacteria Get Popular,” December
10, 2007 , downloaded at http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071210/ap_on_he_
me/diet_friendly_bacteria .
8. “Dried Plums Take Flight,” Silicon Valley/San Jose Business Journal, September 4, 2001, accessed September 20, 2005, at www.bizjournals
.com/sanjose/stories/2001/09/03/daily8.html .
9. Gretchen Glasscock , “My Favorite Bookmarks,” Fast Company, October 1999, 62 .
8. Susan Greco , “Hire the Best,” Inc., June 1999, 32–52 . 9. Kevin Leo , “Effective Copy and Graphics,” DADM/ DMEF Direct
Marketing Institute for Professors, Northbrook, IL, May 31–June 3,
1983 .
Module 10
1. Thomas L. Fernandez and Roger N. Conaway, “Writing Business
Letters II: Essential Elements Revisited,” 1999 Refereed Proceed- ings, Association for Business Communication Southwest Region, ed. Marsha L. Bayless, 65–68 .
2. In a study of 483 subject lines written by managers and MBA students,
Priscilla S. Rogers found that the average subject line was five words;
only 10% of the subject lines used 10 or more words ( “A Taxonomy
for Memorandum Subject Lines,” Journal of Business and Technical Communication 4, no. 2: [September 1990] 28–29 ).
3. Allison Overholt , “Power Up the People,” Fast Company, January 2003, 50 .
4. Deborah Tannen , That’s Not What I Meant: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Your Relations with Others (New York: Morrow, 1986 ), 108 .
5. An earlier version of this problem, the sample solutions, and the dis-
cussion appeared in Francis W. Weeks and Kitty O. Locker, Business Writing Cases and Problems, 1984 ed. (Champaign, IL: Stipes, 1984), 64–68 .
Module 11
1. Jack W. Brehm, A Theory of Psychological Reactance (New York: Academic Press , 1966 ).
2. Ilan Mochari , “The Talking Cure,” Inc., November 2001, 123 . 3. Kitty O. Locker, “Factors in Reader Responses to Negative Letters:
Experimental Evidence for Changing What We Teach,” The Journal of Business and Technical Communication 13, no. 1 (January 1999): 5–48 .
4. Frederick M. Jablin and Kathleen Krone, “Characteristics of Rejection
Letters and Their Effects on Job Applicants,” Written Communication 1, no. 4 (October 1984): 387–406 .
5. John D. Pettit, “An Analysis of the Effects of Various Message Presen-
tations on Communicatee Responses,” Ph.D. dissertation, Louisiana
State University, 1969; and Jack D. Eure, “Applicability of American
Written Business Communication Principles Across Cultural Boundar-
ies in Mexico,” The Journal of Business Communication 14 (1976): 51–63 .
6. Gabriella Stern , “Companies Discover That Some Firings Backfire into
Costly Defamation Suits,” The Wall Street Journal, May 5, 1993, B1 .
Module 12
1. For a discussion of sales and fund-raising letters, see Kitty O. Locker,
Business and Administrative Communication, 6th ed. (Burr Ridge, IL: Irwin/ McGraw-Hill , 2003), 252–82 .
2. James Suchan and Ron Dulek , “Toward a Better Understanding of
Reader Analysis,” The Journal of Business Communication 25, no. 2 (Spring 1988): 40 .
3. Frances Harrington , “Formulaic Patterns versus Pressures of Circum-
stances: A Rhetoric of Business Situations,” Conference on College
Composition and Communication, New Orleans, LA, March 17–19,
1986 .
4. Min-Sun Kim and Steven R. Wilson , “A Cross-Cultural Comparison of
Implicit Theories of Requesting,” Communication Monographs 61, no. 3 (September 1994): 210–35 .
5. Priscilla S. Rogers, “A Taxonomy for the Composition of Memoran-
dum Subject Lines: Facilitating Writer Choice in Managerial Con-
texts,” Journal of Business and Technical Communication 4, no. 2 (September 1990): 21–43 .
6. Karen Lowry Miller and David Woodruff , “The Man Who’s Selling
Japan on Jeeps,” BusinessWeek, July 19, 1993, 56–57 .
loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 531loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 531 28/01/13 11:14 PM28/01/13 11:14 PM
Confirming pages
532 Endnotes
8. Nancy Schullery and Beth Hoger , “Business Advocacy for Students
in Small Groups,” Association for Business Communication Annual
Convention, San Antonio, TX, November 9–11, 1998 .
9. Jeffrey A. Fadiman, “Intercultural Invisibility: Deciphering the ‘Sub-
liminal’ Marketing Message in Afro-Asian Commerce,” Sixth Annual
Conference on Languages and Communication for World Business
and the Professions, Ann Arbor, MI, May 8–9, 1987 .
10. Raymond L. Gordon, Living in Latin America (Skokie, IL: National Textbook, 1974 ), 41 .
11. Stephen P. Robbins, Decide and Conquer: Make Winning Decisions and Take Control of Your Life (Upper Saddle River, NJ: Financial Times Prentice Hall , 2004), 101–5 .
12. Philip R. Harris and Robert T. Moran, Managing Cultural Differences, 2nd ed. (Houston: Gulf, 1987 ), 78 .
13. Lisa Ede and Andrea Lunsford , Singular Texts/Plural Authors: Per- spectives on Collaborative Writing (Carbondale, IL: Southern Illinois Press, 1990 ), 60 .
14. Rebecca Burnett , “Characterizing Conflict in Collaborative Relation-
ships: The Nature of Decision-Making During Coauthoring,” Ph.D.
dissertation, Carnegie-Mellon University, Pittsburgh, PA, 1991 .
15. Kitty O. Locker, “What Makes a Collaborative Writing Team Success-
ful? A Case Study of Lawyers and Social Service Workers in a State
Agency,” in New Visions in Collaborative Writing, ed. Janis Forman (Portsmouth, NJ: Boynton, 1991), 37–52 .
16. Ede and Lunsford, 66 .
17. Meg Morgan , Nancy Allen , Teresa Moore , Dianne Atkinson , and Craig
Snow , “Collaborative Writing in the Classroom,” The Bulletin of the Association for Business Communication 50.3 (September 1987): 22 .
Module 19
1. How to Avoid Wasteful Work Meetings,” Wired, June 2012, http://www.
wired.co.uk/magazine/archive/2012/06/howto/avoid-wasteful-work-
meetings.
2. Cathy Olofson , “So Many Meetings, So Little Time,” Fast Company, January/February 2000, 48; and Fara Warner, “How Google Searches
Itself,” Fast Company, July 2002, 50 . 3. Andrea Williams , “The Rhetoric of Corporate Communications: A Case
Study of a Canadian Employee Communications Program in a Global
Financial Services Organiza tion,” Ph.D. dissertation, The Ohio State
University, 2002 , Chapter 5 .
4. Michael Schrage , “Meetings Don’t Have to Be Dull,” The Wall Street Journal, April 29, 1996, A12 .
5. Eric Matson , “The Seven Deadly Sins of Meetings,” Fast Company Handbook of the Business Revolution, 1997 , 29 .
6. Matson, 30 .
7. “There’s Something about Mary,” Fortune, October 25, 1999, 368 . 8. H. Lloyd Goodall , Jr., Small Group Communications in Organizations
(Dubuque, IA: William C. Brown, 1990 ), 39–40 .
9. Roger K. Mosvick and Robert B. Nelson, We’ve Got to Start Meeting Like This: A Guide to Successful Meeting Management, rev. ed. (India- napolis, IN: Park Avenue, 1996 ), 2nd ed., 177 .
10. Marc Ballon, “The New Girls’ Club,” Inc., March 1999, 88 . 11. Cynthia Crossen , “Spotting Value Takes Smarts, Not Sight, Laura
Sloate Shows,” The Wall Street Journal, December 10, 1987, A1, A14; and Joan E. Rigdon , “Managing Your Career,” The Wall Street Journal, December 1, 1993, B1 .
12. Gina Imperator, “‘You Have to Start Meeting Like This,” Fast Com- pany, April 1999, 204–10 .
Module 20
1. Carol Hymnowitz , “Unlike Politicians, Business Executives Seek
Profit, Not Votes,” The Wall Street Journal, August 17, 2004, down- loaded at http://online.wsj.com .
2. Dan Gillmor , “Putting on a Powerful Presentation,” Hemispheres, March 1996, 31 .
10. Mary Ellen Podmolik , “New Rule Raises Stakes for Minority Shop
Owners,” Advertising Age, February 28, 2000, 34; and Hersch Doby, “Changing the Rules,” Black Enterprise, April 2000, 23 .
Module 16
1. Robert L. Brown, Jr., and Carl G. Herndl, “An Ethnographic Study
of Corporate Writing: Job Status as Reflected in Written Text,” Func- tional Approaches to Writing: A Research Perspective, ed. Barbara Couture (Norwood, NJ: Ablex, 1986), 16–19, 22–23 .
2. Linda Flower , Problem-Solving Strategies for Writing (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1981 ), 39 .
3. Harris B. Savin and Ellen Perchonock, “Grammatical Structure and
the Immediate Recall of English Sentences,” Journal of Verbal Learn- ing and Verbal Behavior 4 (1965): 348–53; Pamela Layton and Adrian J. Simpson, “Deep Structure in Sentence Comprehension,” Journal of Verbal Learning and Verbal Behavior 14 (1975): 658–64 .
4. Arn Tibbetts , “Ten Rules for Writing Readably,” The Journal of Busi- ness Communication 18, no. 4 (Fall 1981): 55–59 .
5. Thomas N. Huckin, “A Cognitive Approach to Readability,” New Essays in Technical and Scientific Communication: Research, Theory, Practice, ed. Paul V. Anderson, R. John Brockmann , and Carolyn R. Miller (Farmingdale, NY: Baywood, 1983), 93–98 .
6. James Suchan and Ronald Dulek , “A Reassessment of Clarity in
Written Managerial Communications,” Management Communication Quarterly 4, no. 1 (August 1990): 93–97 .
Module 17
1. For a full account of the accident, see Andrew D. Wolvin and Caroline
Gwynn Coakely, Listening, 2nd ed. (Dubuque, IA: William C. Brown, 1985 ), 6 .
2. “Listen Up and Sell,” Selling Power, July/August 1999, 34 . 3. Thomas Gordon with Judith Gordon Sands , P.E.T. in Action (New
York: Wyden, 1976 ), 83 .
4. Molefi Asante and Alice Davis , “Black and White Communication:
Analyzing Work Place Encounters,” Journal of Black Studies 16, no. 1 (September 1985): 87–90 .
Module 18
1. For a fuller listing of roles in groups, see David W. Johnson and Frank P.
Johnson, Joining Together: Group Theory and Group Skills (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall , 1975), 26–27 .
2. Beatrice Schultz , “Argumentativeness: Its Effect in Group Decision-
Making and Its Role in Leadership Perception,” Communication Quar- terly 30, no. 4 (Fall 1982): 374–75; Dennis S. Gouran and B. Aubrey Fisher , “The Functions of Human Communication in the Formation,
Maintenance, and Performance of Small Groups,” in Handbook of Rhetorical and Communication Theory, ed. Carroll C. Arnold and John Waite Bowers (Boston: Allyn and Bacon , 1984 ), 640 ; and Curt Bechler
and Scott D. Johnson, “Leadership and Listening: A Study of Member
Perceptions,” Small Group Research 26, no. 1 (February 1995): 77–85 . 3. John E. Tropman, Making Meetings Work, 2nd ed. (Thousand Oaks,
CA: Sage, 2003 ), 78, 121 .
4. Nance L. Harper and Lawrence R. Askling , “Group Communication
and Quality of Task Solution in a Media Production Organization,”
Communication Monographs 47, no. 2 (June 1980): 77–100 . 5. Rebecca E. Burnett, “Conflict in Collaborative Decision- Making,”
in Professional Communication: The Social Perspective, ed. Nancy Roundy Blyler and Charlotte Thralls (Newbury Park, CA: Sage, 1993),
144–62 .
6. Kimberly A. Freeman, “Attitudes Toward Work in Project Groups as
Predictors of Academic Performance,” Small Group Research 27, no. 2 (May 1996): 265–82 .
7. Tropman, Making Meetings Work, 28 .
loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 532loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 532 28/01/13 11:14 PM28/01/13 11:14 PM
Confirming pages
Endnotes 533
5. “Whirlpool: How to Listen to Consumers,” Fortune, January 11, 1993, 77 .
6. Peter Lynch with John Rothchild , One Up on Wall Street: How to Use What You Already Know to Make Money in the Market (New York: Simon and Schuster , 1989 ), 187 .
7. Patricia Sullivan , “Reporting Negative Research Results,” and Kitty O.
Locker to Pat Sullivan, June 8, 1990 .
Module 23
1. Michael L. Keene to Kitty Locker, May 17, 1988 .
2. Susan D. Kleimann, “The Need to Test Forms in the Real World,” Asso-
ciation for Business Communication Annual Convention, Orlando, FL,
November 1–4, 1995 .
Module 25
1. Gene Zelazny , Say It with Charts: The Executive’s Guide to Successful Presentations, 4th ed. (New York: McGraw-Hill , 2001 ), 52 .
2. Most of these guidelines are given by Zelazny, Say It With Charts: The Executive’s Guide to Successful Presentations.
3. W. S. Cleveland and R. McGill , “Graphical Perception: Theory, Exper-
iments, and Application to the Development of Graphic Methods,”
Journal of the American Statistical Association 79, no. 3 & 7 (1984): 531–53; cited in Jeffry K. Cochran, Sheri A. Albrecht, and Yvonne A.
Greene, “Guidelines for Evaluating Graphical Designs: A Framework
Based on Human Perception Skills,” Technical Communication 36, no. 1 (February 1989): 27 .
4. L. G. Thorell and W. J. Smith , Using Computer Color Effectively: An Illustrated Reference (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall , 1990), 12–13; William Horton, “The Almost Universal Language: Graphics
for International Documents,” Technical Communication 40, no. 4 (1993): 687; and Thyra Rauch, “IBM Visual Interface Design,” The STC Usability PIC Newsletter, January 1996, 3 .
5. Thorell and Smith, p. 13 .
6. Ibid., pp. 49–51 , 214–15 .
7. Edward R. Tufte, The Visual Display of Quantitative Information (Cheshire, CT: Graphics Press , 1983), 113 .
8. Thophilus Addo , “The Effects of Dimensionality in Computer Graphics,”
Journal of Business Communication 31, no. 4 (October 1994): 253–65 . 9. Jerry Bowyer , “In Defense of the Unemployment Rate,” National
Review Online, March 5, 2004, www.nationalreview.com ; Mark Gongl-
off, “Payment Growth Disappoints,” CNN Money, December 5, 2003, http://money.cnn.com ; and Joint Economic Committee, “Charts: Econ-
omy,” downloaded at http://jec.senate.gov , August 27, 2004 .
10. Day Mines 1974 Annual Report, 1; reproduced in Tufte, 54 .
Module 26
1. Richard Bolles , “Here’s How to Pack Your Parachute,” Fast Company, September 1999, 242 .
2. Walter Kiechel III , “Preparing for Your Outplacement,” Fortune, November 30, 1992, 153 .
3. Carl Quintanilla , “Coming Back,” The Wall Street Journal, February 22, 1996, R10; Megan Malugani, “How to Re-Enter the Health-Care
Job Market,” The Columbus Dispatch, March 22, 2000, 13 . 4. LeAne Rutherford , “Five Fatal Résumé Mistakes,” BusinessWeek’s
Guide to Careers 4, no. 3 (Spring/Summer 1986): 60–62 . 5. Phil Elder , “The Trade Secrets of Employment Interviews,” Associa-
tion for Business Communication Midwest Convention, Kansas City,
MO, May 2, 1987 .
6. Anne Fisher , “Ask Annie,” Fortune, February 7, 2000, 210 .
Module 27
1. Timothy D. Schellhardt, “Managing: Pitfalls to Avoid in Drafting a
Resume,” The Wall Street Journal, November 28, 1990, B1; Elizabeth Brockman and Kelly Belanger, “A National Study of CPA Recruiters’
3. Carol Hymnowitz , “When You Tell the Boss, Plain Talk Counts,” The Wall Street Journal, June 16, 1989, B1 .
4. Linda Driskill , “How the Language of Presentations Can Encourage
or Discourage Audience Participation,” paper presented at the Confer-
ence on College Composition and Communication, Cincinnati, OH,
March 18–21, 1992 .
5. Tad Simons , “Multimedia or Bust?” Presentations, February 2000, 44, 49–50 .
6. Julie Terberg , “Before and After: Presentation Visuals Should Comple-
ment a Company’s Printed Materials,” Presentations, January 2003, downloaded from Infotrac at http://web4.infotrac.galegroup.com .
7. Stephen E. Lucas, The Art of Public Speaking, 2nd ed. (New York: Random House , 1986 ), 248 .
8. John Case , “A Company of Businesspeople,” Inc., April 1993, 90 . 9. Edward J. Hegarty, Humor and Eloquence in Public Speaking (West
Nyack, NY: Parker, 1976 ), 204 .
10. G. Michael Campbell, Bulletproof Presentations (Franklin Lakes, NJ: Career Press , 2003), 66–67 .
11. Robert S. Mills, conversation with Kitty O. Locker, March 10, 1988 .
12. Phil Theibert , “Speechwriters of the World, Get Lost!” The Wall Street Journal, August 2, 1993, A10 .
13. Patricia Fripp , “Want Your Audiences to Remember What You Say?
Learn the Importance of Clear Structure,” Fripp Articles, www.fripp.
com , downloaded September 1, 2004 .
14. Some studies have shown that previews and reviews increase com-
prehension; other studies have found no effect. For a summary of the
research see Kenneth D. Frandsen and Donald R. Clement, “The Func-
tions of Human Communication in Informing: Communicating and
Processing Information,” Handbook of Rhetorical and Communication Theory, ed. Carroll C. Arnold and John Waite Bowers (Boston: Allyn and Bacon , 1984 ), 340–41 .
15. S. A. Beebe , “Eye Contact: A Nonverbal Determinant of Speaker
Credibility,” Speech Teacher 23 (1974): 21–25; cited in Marjorie Fink Vargas, Louder than Words (Ames, IA: Iowa State University Press , 1986), 61–62 .
16. J. Wills , “An Empirical Study of the Behavioral Characteristics of Sin-
cere and Insincere Speaker,” Ph.D. dissertation, University of Southern
California, 1961; cited in Marjorie Fink Vargas, Louder than Words (Ames, IA: Iowa State University Press , 1986), 62 .
Module 21
1. For a useful taxonomy of proposals, see Richard C. Freed and David
D. Roberts, “The Nature, Classification, and Generic Structure of Pro-
posals,” Journal of Technical Writing and Communication 19, no. 4 (1989): 317–51 .
2. Donna Kienzler , e-mail to Kitty Locker, November 5, 1998 .
3. Christine Peterson Barabas , Technical Writing in a Corporate Culture: A Study of the Nature of Information (Norwood, NJ: Ablex Publishing , 1990), 327 .
Module 22
1. Janice M. Lauer and J. William Asher , Composition Research: Empiri- cal Designs (New York: Oxford University Press , 1986 ), 66 .
2. Frederick F. Reichheld , “Learning from Customer Defects,” Harvard Business Review, March–April 1996, 56–69 .
3. Marketing Research Association, “CMOR Tracking System: Coopera-
tion, Refusal, and Response Rates,” Respondent Cooperation section
of Research Resources page, MRA web site, www.mra-net.org , down-
loaded August 18, 2004 .
4. Tracie Rozhon , “Networks Criticize Report on Male Viewers,” The New York Times, November 26, 2003, downloaded from Business & Company Resource Center, http://galenet.galegroup.com ; and
“Nielsen Explains Male TV Ratings,” Adweek, December 1, 2003, downloaded from Business & Company Resource Center, http://
galenet.galegroup.com .
loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 533loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 533 28/01/13 11:14 PM28/01/13 11:14 PM
Confirming pages
534 Endnotes
6. Richard C. Rose and Echo Montgomery Garrett, “Guerrilla Interview-
ing,” Inc., December, 1992, 145–47 . 7. Julie Amparano Lopez , “Firms Force Job Seekers to Jump through
Hoops,” The Wall Street Journal, October 6, 1993, B1 . 8. Sue Shellenbarger , “New Job Hunters Ask Recruiters, ‘Is There
Life After Work?” ’ The Wall Street Journal, January 29, 1996, B1; and Sue Shellenbarger, “What Job Candidates Really Want to
Know: Will I Have a Life?” The Wall Street Journal, November 17, 1999, B1 .
9. Donna Stine Kienzler , letter to Ann Granacki, April 6, 1988 .
10. Joel Bowman , “Using NLP to Improve Classroom Communication,”
Association for Business Communication Regional Conference, Lex-
ington, KY, April 9–11, 1992 .
Module 30
1. The Catalyst Staff, Marketing Yourself (New York: G. P. Putnam ’s Sons, 1980 ), 101 .
2. Claud Dotson , comment at the Association for Business Communica-
tion Western Regional Conference, Boise, ID, April 13, 1996 .
3. Kate Wendleton , Through the Brick Wall: How to Job-Hunt in a Tight Market (New York: Villard Books, 1992 ), 244 .
4. Carol A. Hacker, Job Hunting in the 21st Century: Exploding the Myths, Exploring the Realities (Boca Raton: St. Lucie Press, 1999 ), 154 .
5. Ray Robinson , quoted by Dick Friedman, “The Interview as Mating
Ritual,” Working Woman, April 1987, 107 . 6. Albert R. Karr, “Work Week,” The Wall Street Journal, November 16,
1999, A1 .
7. Bill Bischoff , “Deducting Job Hunting Expenses,” The Wall Street Journal, September 2, 2009, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001 424052970204731804574388880246070404.html .
Preferences for Résumé Length,” The Journal of Business Communi- cation, 38 (2001): 29–45 .
2. Beverly H. Nelson, William P. Gallé, and Donna W. Luse, “Electronic
Job Search and Placement,” Association for Business Communication
Convention, Orlando, FL, November 1–4, 1995 .
3. Rebecca Smith , Electronic Resumes & Online Networking: How to Use the Internet to Do a Better Job Search, Including a Complete, Up-to- Date Resource Guide (Franklin Lakes, NJ: Career Press , 1999), 191–96 .
4. Taunee Besson , The Wall Street Journal National Employment Busi- ness Weekly: Resumes (New York: John Wiley and Sons , 1994 ), 245 .
5. Carolyn Bigda, “Getting Your Resume to the Top of the List,” The Chicago Tribune, August 25, 2012, http://articles.chicagotribune.com/ 2012-08-25/classified/sc-cons-0823-started-20120825_1_job-search-
project-manager-key-words.
6. Anick Jesdanun , “Twist on Résumés: Some Job Seekers Hit ‘Record’
Button. Some Employers Leery of Video Applications,” The Columbus Dispatch, May 6, 2007, downloaded at www.dispatch.com/dispatch/ content/business/stories/2007/05/06/biz_of_life_jobs_video.ART_
ART_05-06-07_D3_F06ISRN.html .
Module 29
1. Thomas Petzinger , Jr., “Lewis Roland’s Knack for Finding Truckers
Keeps Firm Rolling,” The Wall Street Journal, December 1, 1995, B1 . 2. Bill Breen and Anna Muoio , “PeoplePalooza,” Fast Company, Novem-
ber 2000, 88 .
3. Rachel Emma Silverman , “Why Are You So Dressed Up? Do You
Have a Job Interview?” The Wall Street Journal, April 17, 2001, B1 . 4. Sherri Eng, “Company Culture Dictates Attire for Interviews,” The
Columbus Dispatch, August 25, 1996, 33J . 5. The Catalyst Staff, Marketing Yourself (New York: G. P. Putnam ’s
Sons, 1980 ), 179 .
loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 534loc03261_endnotes_528-534.indd 534 28/01/13 11:14 PM28/01/13 11:14 PM
Rev.confirming pages
535
Credits
Photo Credits
Chapter 1 p. 4: © Getty Images; p. 10: Photo by Bob Day; p.11: The McGraw-Hill
Companies, Inc. Mark Dierker photographer; p. 13: Andrea A. Dixon/The
Connecticut Post/AP Photo.
Chapter 2 p. 20: © Jake Chessum; p. 22: Thomas Strand/Courtesy of TEC Interface
Systems; p. 29: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images; p.31(top): Barbel Schmidt;
p.31(bottom): Paul Sakuma/AP Photo.
Chapter 3 p. 44: ChinaFotoPress/Getty Images; p. 48: SEYLLOU/AFP/Getty Images;
p. 49: Craig Ruttle/AP Photo; p. 50: © Ron Ceasar.
Chapter 4 p. 68: M. Spencer Green/AP Photo.
Chapter 6 p. 93: Houston Chronicle; p. 97: Normandy Madden/Advertising Age.
Chapter 7 p. 104: Kitty O. Locker by permission of Joseph-Beth Booksellers.
Chapter 8 p. 114: Courtesy Floyd Hurt of the Rousing Creativity Group; p. 119:
© Cristina Estadella; p. 120: Joseph Kaczmarek/AP Photo.
Chapter 9 p. 130: © Photodisc/PunchStock.
Chapter 10 p. 150: Siemens AG/Sharenet.
Chapter 12 p. 189: Courtesy of the Arab American Institute; p. 195: Gregg Goldman.
Chapter 13 p. 218: Patent(s) Pending & Copyright © Lumeta Corporation 2009–2010.
All Rights Reserved. LUMETA, LUMETA Logo, IPSONAR and the
IPSONAR logo are the trademarks and service marks of Lumeta Corpo-
ration; p. 228: © NetPhotos/Alamy; p. 230: © ICP-UK/incamerastock/
Alamy.
Chapter 15 p. 258: Courtesy of the California Dried Plum Board.
Chapter 16 p. 273: © Keith Major
Chapter 17 p. 291: © Edward McCain; p. 293: Zumaphotos/Newscom.
Chapter 18 p. 299: Courtesy Ford Motor Company.
Chapter 19 p. 314: © Brian Warling; p. 318: Elliot Haney/City Year.
Chapter 20 p. 327: Steve Azzara/Corbis.
p. 330: © The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc./Mark Dierker, photographer
Chapter 22 p. 367: © Sian Kennedy.
Chapter 23 p. 381: © Karen Moskowitz.
Chapter 24 p. 411: Photo courtesy Mike Watiker, Courtesy of MedFlight of Ohio.
Chapter 26 p. 440: © Robert Burroughs.
Chapter 27 p. 464: Bob Daemmrich/The Image Works
Chapter 28 p. 480: Courtesy Burkewood Communications.
Chapter 29 p. 492(left): Image Source/Getty Images; p. 492(center): Brand New
Images/Getty Images; p. 492(right): Rubberball/Getty Images.
Chapter 30 p. 510: Keith Srakocic/AP Photo.
loc03261_credits_535-536.indd 535loc03261_credits_535-536.indd 535 28/01/13 10:38 PM28/01/13 10:38 PM
loc03261_credits_535-536.indd 536loc03261_credits_535-536.indd 536 25/01/13 12:15 PM25/01/13 12:15 PM
Confirming pages
Index
A
Abad-Santos, Alexander, 332
Abbreviations
Latin-based, 264
Postal Service, 135
ABI/Inform Thesaurus, 360 Abino, I., 529
Abrashoff, D. Michael, 293
Abusive supervisors, 300
accede/exceed, 261 accept/except, 261 access/excess, 262 Accurate words, 256
Active listening, 291, 292. See also Listening
Active verbs, 274–275
Active voice, 86–87
Addo, Theophilus, 533
Ademola, Esther, 331
adept/adopt, 262 Adjectives, use of, 448
Adjustments, 151–152
Adult literacy, 6
Adverbs, use of, 448
Advertisements, offensive, 52
Advertising Council, 189
advice/advise, 262 affect/effect, 262 Affleck, John, 531
affluent/effluent, 262 Agenda
elements of, 314–316
standard, 316–317, 319
Agreement
noun–pronoun, 235, 240
subject–verb, 141–142, 239–240
Akil, Bakari, 335
Albers, Susan, 146
Albrecht, Sheri A., 533
Alcorn, Chauncey, 224
Allen, Nancy, 532
Allstate, 313
a lot/allot, 262 Alter, Alexandra, 62
Amabile, Teresa, 105
American Psychological Association
(APA), 370
America’s Job Bank, 440
amount/number, 262 Analytical reports, 343
Andersen, Charlotte, 258
Andersen Consulting, 28
Anderson, Gary, 421
Anderson, Paul V., 532
Anderson, Petra, 165
Anderson, Richard C., 531
Andriotis, Annamaria, 384
Anecdotes, 330–331
Angel, David, 326
Annual reports, 343
Ansberry, Clare, 529
Anxiety, public speaking, 334–335
APA style, 370, 372–373
Apollo 13, 298
Apologies, 107–108
Apostrophes, 100, 111, 122, 245–247
Apple Computer, 11
Appropriate words, 256
Arbeláez, Brenda, 529
Arends, Brett, 369
are/our, 262 Argyle, Michael, 529
Ariely, Dan, 118
Arndt, Michael, 529
Arnold, Carroll C., 532, 533
Arnst, Cathy, 136
Asante, Molefi, 532
Aschauer, Mary Ann, 528
Ashby, Lynn, 531
Asher, J. William, 533
Askling, Lawrence R., 532
Assumptions, 290
assure/ensure/insure, 262 Atkinson, Dianne, 532
Attention, listening and, 289
Attire, job interview, 493
attributed/contributed, 262 Audience. See also Reader benefits
adapting message to, 327–328
benefits to, 12, 22, 114–115, 119
communication channels to reach, 31–32
communication process and, 23–24
external, 7
gatekeepers and, 21
identification of, 20–21
information needs to analyze, 24–28
initial, 21
internal, 7
needs of, 20, 30
need to understand, 19
for oral presentations, 326–328
PAIBOC questions and, 22–23
primary, 20
secondary, 20–21
strategies to reach, 29–30
talking to your, 62–63
vested interest of, 193
watchdog, 21
you-attitude and, 91–94
Audit reports, 343
Autocorrect, 80
Average, 369, 370
B
Baby Boomers, 46, 48, 49, 51, 53
Background section, for reports, 411–412
Bacon, Terry, 172
Bacsik, Mike, 228
Badre, Albert N., 79
Bailey, Holly, 257
Bailey, Marissa, 52
Bair, Bettina A., 531
Baker, Stephen, 531
Baldrige National Quality Program, 92
Barabas, Christine Peterson, 533
Bar charts, 418–421
Barna, Laray M., 529
Barrack, Tom, 136
Barron, James, 42
Bassett, Laura, 77
Bayless, Marsha L., 531
Bear, John, 529
Beason, Larry, 239
Bechler, Curt, 532
Beebe, S. A., 533
Begeman, Michael, 319
Behavioral job interviews, 498, 502, 503
Beilock, Sian, 335
Belanger, Kelly, 533
Beliefs, cultural diversity and, 41
Belvedere, 52
Benefits. See also Reader benefits to audience, 12, 22, 114–115, 119
details for, 115–117
extrinsic, 117–119
intrinsic, 117–119, 150
Besson, Taunee, 534
Best Buy, 315
Beswick, Raymond W., 530
between/among, 263
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 537loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 537 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
538 Index
City Year, 318
Clark, Brian, 203
Clarke, Robyn D., 528
Class research projects, 346–351
Clearview, 77
Clement, Donald R., 533
Cleveland, W. S., 533
Clifford, Mark, 529
Closed body positions, 42
Closed questions, 364–366
Closings
job interview, 495
oral presentation, 330–332
Closure reports, 378
Cloud technology, 127
Clustering, 62, 63
Coakely, Caroline Gwynn, 532
Coca-Cola, 259
Cochran, Jeffrey K., 533
Cole, Johnnetta B., 273
Colella, A., 530
Collaborative writing, 306–308
Collection letters, 199–200
College Board’s National Commission on
Writing, 5
College majors, 5–6
Collins, Jim, 299
Collins, Robert, 492
Collins, Scott, 422
Colon, 247
Color
cultural variations in associations with, 44, 45
for presentation slides, 79
in visuals, 421–422
Commas
in lists, 285–286
use of, 245, 247–248
Comma splices, 36–37, 243–245
Common ground, 198
Communication. See also Business communication; Cross-cultural communication
audience and, 6, 7, 23–24 (See also Audience) cost of written, 8–9
effectiveness of, 9
generational differences in, 49, 51
importance of, 3–5
interpersonal, 8, 297
nonverbal, 4, 41–42
purpose of, 6–8
verbal, 4
Communication channels, 31, 32
Comparison/contrast organization, 382
Complaints, responses to, 151–152
complement/compliment, 263 Complete sentence, 278
Complex sentences, 278
Complimentary closes, 127
Compliments, 47
compose/comprise, 263 Conaway, Roger N., 531
Concise writing, 390–391
Concluding paragraphs, in short reports, 378
Condon, John, 529
Confirmations, 151
Conflict, in groups, 302, 303
creativity and, 11
culture and, 40–48
nature of, 5–6
purpose of, 6, 12, 22
situations for, 10, 12–13
Businessese, 261, 262
Business jargon, 261, 262
Business plans, 345–347
Buy-in, 30
Buying time, 305
Bypassing, 257, 260
C
Cable, Daniel, 169
Cadrain, Diane, 530
Cage, Sam, 118
Cain, Susan, 302
Cameron, David, 257
Campbell, G. Michael, 533
Campbell, Tom, 29
Canella, Patrick, 336
Capell, Perri, 464
Capelli, Paul, 493
Capitalization, 75, 76
Caprino, Kathy, 326
Careers. See Job search Carell, Steve, 332
Carnegie Speech, 3
Carrasquillo, Adrian, 230
Cartoon Network, 11
Carvin, Andy, 362
Case, 241
Case, John, 533
Caspers, Carl, 22
Casselman, Cindy, 119
Castillo, Shannon, 106
Castro, Kathy, 530
Causation, 370
Cell phones, 230
Central Connecticut State University, 9
Central Intelligence Agency, 43
Chan, Sewell, 26
Channel overload, 24
Channels, 23. See also Communication channels Chapman, Dan, 44
Charts, 418–421
Chase, Chris, 275
Chatman, Jennifer, 28
Checking account documents, 74
Chen, Brian X., 368
Cheng, Wanla, 50
Chessum, Jake, 20
Chideya, Farai, 529
Choppy writing, 390
Christopher, Robert C., 529
Chronological organization
explanation of, 333, 385
in progress reports, 354, 355
in reports, 378, 385
in résumés, 452–453, 455, 457
Chronological progress reports, 354, 355
Chronological résumés, 452–453, 455, 457. See also Résumés
Citation, 370
cite/sight/site, 263
Bias-free language
explanation of, 51
guidelines for, 51–54
Bilingual Canada, 39
Birdwhistell, Ray L., 42, 529
Bischoff, Bill, 534
Bishop, Jerry E., 530
Bissonnette, Zac, 6
Bjerke, Joshua, 495
Blake, Beth, 119
Blanchard, Ken, 27
Blind copies, 132
Block format, for letters, 127, 128, 133
Blocking responses, 292, 300
Blogging, 227–228
Blueprints, 386–387
Blumenstyk, Goldie, 394
Blyler, Nancy Roundy, 532
Body language, 42
Body movements, 42
Boice, Robert, 69, 530
Boilerplate, 67, 69
Bold headings, 80
Bolles, Richard, 441, 533
Booher, Dianna, 66, 528, 530
Boolean search, 360
Borker, Ruth A., 46, 529
Boulton, Clint, 78
Bowers, John Waite, 532, 533
Bowyer, Jerry, 423, 533
Brackets, 250, 373
Bradley, Helen, 263
Brady, Diane, 136
Brainstorming, 62, 113
Branching questions, 366
Breen, Bill, 534
Bregman, Peter, 172
Brehm, Jack W., 169, 531
Briggs, Isabel, 528
British Petroleum (BP), 422
Britt, Robert Roy, 8
Broadhead, Glenn J., 530
Broccoli, Albert R., 353
Brockman, Elizabeth, 533
Brockmann, John, 532
Brooks, Chad, 177, 511
Broome, Benjamin J., 529
Brown, Robert L., Jr., 532
Brown, Vincent J., 528
Bruder, Jessica, 11
Bruno, Tony, 228
Bryner, Jeanna, 102, 116, 300
Budget proposals, 352–353
Buffers, 172–174
Bullets, 80
Bullying, 188
Burck, Charles, 530
Burgarelli, Anthony, 307
Burling, Stacy, 168
Burnett, Rebecca E., 306, 530, 532
Burson-Marsteller, 166
Bush, George W., 257
Business communication. See also Communication
audience for, 6, 12
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 538loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 538 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
Index 539
capitalization and, 75, 76
computer use for, 80
creating professional image with, 130
effective, 73
evaluation of, 79–80
fonts and, 75, 77
headings and, 74–75
margins and, 77–78
planning for, 80–81
presentation slides and, 78, 79
revision of, 76
visuals and, 419–420
web pages and, 78–79
white space and, 74
Dod, Glenna, 42
do/due, 263 Dot planning, 317–319
Dotson, Claud, 534
Drafts
function of, 67, 307
visuals in, 417
Dress for Success (Molloy), 45 Dreyfuss, Joel, 529
Driskill, Linda, 528, 533
Duckworth, Tammy, 108
Duick, Amber, 224
Duke, Mike, 136
Dulek, Ronald, 188, 531, 532
Dunn, Ryan, 282
Dworkin-McDaniel, Norine, 43
Dykes, Brett Michael, 29, 422
Dyrud, Marilyn A., 54, 530
E
Early letters, 199–200
Easterby, Ronald, 530
Economy, state of U.S., 2–3
Ede, Lisa, 306, 532
Edelman, Benjamin, 266
Editing
explanation of, 64, 66
of group documents, 307
Edmondson, Brad, 529
Edmondson, Gail, 529
Eggers, Kelly, 494
Einhorn, Lois J., 497
Eisner, Michael, 5
Ekman, Paul, 529
Elance, 443
Elashmawi, Farid, 41, 46, 48
Elbow, Peter, 530
Elder, Phil, 445, 533
Electronic research, 361. See also Research elicit/illicit, 263 Elimination of alternatives organization,
382–383
Ellipses, 250
Elsbach, Kimberly, 169
E-mail job application letters, 485–486
E-mail messages
attachments to, 221, 226
cautions regarding, 67
format for, 219–220
guidelines for, 218
management of, 225
Cuomo, Andrew, 168
Cycle/cycling process, 8
Cycling, 66
D
Dachler, H. Peter, 530
Dahl, Darren, 441
Dahlberg, Nancy, 307
Dana, Rebecca, 266
Dandridge, Thomas C., 531
Dangling modifiers, 163, 242
Darwin, Charles, 266
Dash, 248, 323
Dates, 251, 472
David, Carol, 530
Davis, Alice, 532
Davis, Kenneth C., 60
Davis, Lisa, 529
Davis, Todd, 204
Decision making. See also Problem-solving messages
in meetings, 316–318
styles of, 314
Decode, 23
Defensive body positions, 42
de Lange, Catherine, 366
Dell, Inc., 168
Deloitte Consulting, 49
Delta Air Lines, 44
Demographic data
explanation of, 25–26
for U.S and Canadian population, 39
Denham, Thomas J., 317
Denotation, 257, 260
Dependent clauses, 243
describe/prescribe, 263 Design. See Document design Details
choice of, 30, 448
in paragraphs, 414
on résumés, 457
Deutschman, Alan, 11
Deviation bar charts, 421
Dictionary use, 506
Digital Equipment, 188
Dillon, Sam, 5
Dimon, Jamie, 327
Directed subject line, 190
Direct requests
checklist for, 207
example of, 192
explanation of, 189–190
method to write, 191
Direct response strategy, 188
Disciplinary notices, 175
Discourse community, 28
discreet/discrete, 263 Discrimination, nature of, 50
Diversity. See Cultural diversity Dizik, Alina, 260
Doby, Hersch, 532
Doctoroff, Tom, 259
Documentation, source, 370–373, 375–376
Document design
of business communication, 6, 30
Conflict resolution
empathy and, 97
steps in, 302–304
you-attitude in, 305
confuse/complicate/exacerbate, 263 Congratulatory notes, 152
Connelly, Phoebe, 145
Connotation, 257–258, 260
Consulting reports, 21
Context, of business communication, 13, 23
Contractions, 100
Convenience sample, 367, 369
Conversational style, 45
Cooper, Charles R., 530
Coordination, 298
Corporate culture. See Organizational culture Correlation, 370
Courtesy titles, 132, 136
Coutu, Diane L., 530
Cowen, Robert, 314
Cox, Taylor H., Jr., 529
Coyle, Jake, 97
Creativity, 11
Credibility, 196
Credit rejection, 64
Critical thinking, 259
Criticism
delivery of, 312
responding to, 304–305
Crockett, Roger O., 50
Crosby, Philip B., 531
Cross-cultural communication. See also Communication; Cultural diversity
bias-free language and, 51–54
body language and, 42–43
nonverbal communication and, 41–42
oral communication and, 45–48
personal space and, 43–44
sensitivity and, 48
time and, 44–45
Crossen, Cynthia, 532
Crowley, P. J., 28
Cullison, Alan, 307
Cultural diversity. See also Cross-cultural communication
bias-free language and, 51–54
body language and, 42–43
colors and, 421–422
conflict and, 302–303
developing sensitivity to, 48
Internet use and, 361
nonverbal communication and, 41–42
oral communication and, 45–48
personal space and, 43–44
persuasion and, 189
television programming and, 53
time and, 44–45
values and beliefs and, 41
in workplace, 38–39, 49–51
Culture. See also Organizational culture business communication and, 40–48
explanation of, 40
high-context, 40, 41
low-context, 40, 41
monochronic, 45, 47
polychronic, 45, 47
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 539loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 539 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
540 Index
George, Amiso M., 528
Gerdes, Michelle, 335
Gerunds, 277, 457
Geryk, Bruce, 417
Gestures
explanation of, 42–43
for oral presentations, 335
GfK Custom Research, 177
Gies, Florence, 529
Gilbert, Alan, 230
Gillmor, Dan, 532
Glasscock, Gretchen, 531
Glink, Illyce R., 62
Globalization
communication and, 4
diversity and, 39, 40
labor pool and, 438
Gneezy, Avelet, 113
Goldman Sachs, 94
Goldsborough, Reid, 530
Goleman, Daniel, 97
Gongloff, Mark, 533
Gonzalez, Fernando, 291
Gonzalez-Gann, Elizabeth, 291
Goodall, H. Lloyd, Jr., 532
Goodman, Cindy Krischer, 461
Goodman, J. David, 240
good/well, 264 Goodwill, 8, 9
Goodwill endings, 146, 154
Goodwill presentations, 326, 328
Goodwin, Liz, 366
Google, 166, 317
Google Docs, 127
Google Drive, 127
Gordon, Raymond L., 532
Gordon, Thomas, 291, 532
Gouran, Dennis S., 532
Grabmeier, Jeff, 189
Graham, Margaret Baker, 530
Graham, Shawn, 306
Grammar. See also Punctuation comma splices, 36–37, 243–245
dangling modifier, 163, 242
expert disagreement on, 255
fused sentences, 244
gerunds, 277
infinitives, 277
misplaced modifier, 242
noun-pronoun agreement, 235, 240
parallel structure, 186, 242, 280
professional image and, 239
run-on sentences, 244, 269–270
sentence errors, 243–246
split infinitives, 239
subject–verb agreement, 141–142
Grammar checkers, 65–66, 72, 263
Granacki, Ann, 534
Grapevine, 8
Graphs. See Visuals Graves, Jada, 439
Greco, Susan, 531
Green, Cheryl, 50
Green, Heather, 531
Green, Whitlowe R., 93
Firings, 174, 175
Fisher, Anne, 50, 440, 528, 533
Fisher, B. Aubrey, 532
Fishman, Charles, 530
Fitzgerald, Mark, 291
Fixed fonts, 75
Flaming, 224
Flanigan, James, 259
Fleming, John, 25
Florida Atlantic University, 307
Flower, Linda, 530, 532
Flynn, James, 51
Foley, Ryan J., 23
Follow-up letters and calls, 507–509, 511
Fonts, 75, 77
Ford Motor Company, 68
Formality, level of, 30, 339
Formalization, 298
Formal reports, 343
Forman, Janis, 532
Format
block, 127, 128, 133
for e-mail messages, 219–220
explanation of, 126
for letters, 127–137
for long reports, 126, 410
for memos, 137–140
modified block, 127, 129, 131, 134
proofreading for, 472
for short reports, 126
Formation, 298
Form letters, 67, 69
forward/foreword, 264 Foss, Jenny, 508
Frames, 227
Frandsen, Kenneth D., 533
Freed, Richard C., 345, 530, 533
Freed, Shervin, 345
Freeman, Kimberly A., 532
Freewriting, 62
Fried, Jason, 502
Friends, 229
Friesen, Wallace V., 529
Fripp, Patricia, 533
Frost, Peter J., 531
Full justification of margins, 77
Functional organization, 384
Funding proposals, 352
Funk, Jeffrey L., 529
Fused sentences, 244
FYI, 150
G
Gallé, William P., 534
Garlinghouse, Brad, 137
Garrett, Echo Montgomery, 534
Gatekeepers, 21
Gee, Gordon, 327
General Electric Capital, 39
Generalizations, 198
General Motors, 378
General to particular organization, 383
Generation X, 46, 51
Generation y, 49
Geographic organization, 383–384
E-mail messages—cont. negative, 222–224
“netiquette” for, 226
networking through, 317
persuasive, 224–225
planning guide for, 64
positive and informative, 221–223
résumés in, 468
subject line for, 220, 222–223
writing style for, 226–227
eminent/immanent/imminent, 264 Emotional appeal, 196–197
Emotional intelligence (EQ), 97
Empathy, 24, 97
Emphasis. See Positive emphasis Employee termination, 174, 175
Enclosures, 132
Encoding, 23
Eng, Sherri, 534
Engardio, Pete, 529
Engelhart, Katie, 421
Ensign, Rachel Louise, 440
Enthusiasm, 510
Erickson, Christine, 227
Ernst & Young, 352
Essential clauses, 248
Ethical issues
in use of positive emphasis, 106
in use of visuals, 422–423
Eure, Jack D., 531
Exaggeration, 46
Excluding alternatives organization, 333
Executive summary, for reports, 410–411
Expectancy theory, 113
External audience, 7
Extrinsic benefits, 117–119
Extroversion–introversion, 26
Eye contact, 42, 335
F
Facebook, 49, 166, 199, 229, 305, 317,
367, 378
Fadiman, Jeffrey A., 532
Fairchild, Caroline, 382
Familiar words, 256, 258
Fans, 229
Farnham, Alan, 530
Faw, Larissa, 49
Faxes, 230
Fear, of public speaking, 334–335
Feasibility reports, 343, 378
Federal Emergency Management Agency
(FEMA), 23, 106
Feedback
checklist for, 67
function of, 66–67
revision after, 68
Feller, Ben, 119
Fernandez, Thomas L., 531
Ferrari, Bernie, 292
Ferrazzi, Keith, 317
Ferris, G., 530
fewer/less, 264 Figures, 420
Fiorina, Carly, 29
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 540loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 540 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
Index 541
example of, 379–380
explanation of, 343, 378
-ing, 277 Initial audience, 21
Intel, 314
Internal audience, 7
Internet. See also E-mail messages blogging and, 227–228
evaluating information on, 368
job search and, 440–442
networking and, 317
reports on, 409
social media and, 151, 227–230, 305
technologies that use, 230–231
use of, 361
videoconferencing, 231, 313
writing strategies for, 226–227
Interpersonal communication, 8, 297
Interpersonal leaders, 300, 302
Interpersonal messages, 298
Interviews
function of, 363
informational, 441–444
job, 491–503 (See also Job interviews) referral, 443
Intonation, 333
Intrinsic benefits, 117–119, 150
Introductions, for reports, 411
Introductory paragraphs, in short
reports, 378
Isidore, Chris, 108
Italics, 250–251
Itlaaie, Hillel, 528
it’s/its, 100, 264
J
Jablin, Frederick M., 531
James, Geoffrey, 352
James, Susan Donaldson, 188
Jameson, Beverly, 290
Jameson, Daphne A., 7
Jansing, Chris, 25
Jargon, 260–262, 448
Jasper, Jesse, 32
Jayson, Sharon, 529
Jesdanun, Anick, 534
Job application letters. See also Résumés checklist for, 487
e-mail, 485–486
length of, 483
prospecting, 476, 478–481
purpose of, 474–475, 481
solicited, 476–478, 480, 484
targeting specific company in, 482
time planning for, 475
T-letters, 482–484
tone in, 483, 485
Job benefits, 501
jobhuntersbible.com, 441
Job interviews
attire for, 493
behavioral, 498, 502, 503
body of, 495
close of, 495
getting to, 494
Hill, Kashmir, 175, 463
Hirsch, Penny L., 530
Histograms, 421
History section, for reports, 411–412
Hitzhusen, Fred, 529
Ho, Erica, 226
Hodson, Gordon, 93
Hoger, Beth, 532
Hogg, Sam, 345
Hoholik, Suzanne, 530
Hojda, Vanessa, 450
Holzer, Harold, 247
Horvitz, Eric, 360
Hosking, Robert, 476
Hot button issues, 352
Howe, Neil, 48, 49
Huckin, Thomas N., 532
Hudson, John, 282
Humor, 331, 332, 334
Humphrey, Brad, 5, 528
Hurricane Katrina, 106
Husted, Bill, 218
Hymowitz, Carol, 532
Hyperlinks, 227
Hyphens, 248, 323
I
I, 489–490 IBM, 11
Idioms, 58, 258, 260
i.e./e.g., 264 Illustrations, 54. See also Visuals I/me, 513–514 Imperator, Gina, 532
Impersonal constructions, 93, 94
imply/infer, 264 Indirect requests, 191
Individuals with disabilities, 53–54
Inferences, 305
Infinitives, 277
Informal reports, 343, 378
Information
analysis of, 394
business communication as, 6, 12
role of giving, 8
strategies to organize, 381–385 (See also Organizational patterns)
Informational interviews, 441–444
Informational leaders, 300, 302
Informational messages, 298
Information Mapping, 74
Information overload, 24
Informative messages
checklist for, 156
e-mail, 221–223
explanation of, 143
method to produce, 152–156
organization of, 145–146
reader benefits in, 148–150
subject line for, 144–145
types of, 144, 150–152
Informative presentations
examples of slides for, 329
function of, 326, 328
Informative reports
Greene, Robert, 22
Greene, Yvonne A., 533
Greenfield, Jeremy, 528
Gregory, M., 530
Grimm, Matthew, 11
Gross, Samantha, 469
Grouped bar charts, 421
Group presentations, 337
Groups. See also Meetings analyzing members of, 24–27
characteristics of successful, 300–301
collaborative writing in, 306–308
conflict in, 302–305
cultural diversity and, 302–303
developmental stages of, 298
ground rules for, 298
groupthink in, 301–302
leadership in, 300–302
networking in, 317
roles in, 298–299, 301
setting priorities in, 317, 318
Groupthink, 301–302
Gumbinner, Paul S., 152
Gumperz, John J., 529
H
Haas, Christina, 529
Hacker, Carol A., 534
Hagge, John, 108, 530
Hall, Edward T., 45
Hammer, Tove Helland, 530
Happiness, 102, 104
Harish, Alon, 370
Harper, Nance L., 532
Harrington, Frances, 531
Harris, Philip R., 41, 46, 48, 532
Hart, Ariel, 44
Hartigan, John D., 531
Hartman, Rachel Rose, 108, 193
Harty, Martin, 108
Harvard College, 175
Hayes, John R., 530
Hayward, Tony, 108
Headers, 80
Headings
bold, 80
explanation of, 74–75, 435
for letters, 130–131
parallel, 388
for reports, 387–388
talking, 388, 435
topic, 387
Hearing, 289
Hegarty, Edward J., 533
Helm, Burt, 197
Helman, Christopher, 343
Henley, Nancy M., 529
Herndl, Carl G., 532
Herzberg, Frederick, 117–118
Hess, Pamela, 106
Heussner, Ki Mae, 531
Hidden job market, 443, 445
Hidden negatives, 103
Hierarchy of needs (Maslow), 113–114
High-context cultures, 40, 41
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 541loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 541 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
542 Index
Lenio, Lynze Wardle, 171
Leo, Kevin, 531
Letterhead, 129–130
Letter (memo) of transmittal, 409
Letters
collection, 199–200
design of, 80
explanation of, 126
following job interviews, 507–509, 511
form, 67, 69
format for, 127–137
improving you-attitude in, 95, 96
job application, 474–487 (See also Job application letters)
organizational patterns for, 63
prospecting, 476, 478–481
punctuation in, 127
of recommendation, 202–203
solicited, 476–478, 480
lie/lay, 264 Limited agreement, 305
Limited Run, 367
Lin, Jeremy, 275
Lincoln, Abraham, 247
Lindo, Megan, 40
Line graphs, 418, 421
Lingle, Mike, 328
LinkedIn, 229, 317, 499, 508
Listening
active, 291, 292
disagreement and, 292–293
function of, 288–289
in groups, 300
importance of, 8
leading by, 293
responses to, 292
strategies for, 289–291
List of illustrations, for reports, 410
Lists, commas in, 285–286
Listservs, 317
Literacy, adult, 6
Lobel, Sharon Alisa, 529
Locke, Gary, 418
Locker, Kitty O., 529, 531–533
Lockhart, Jhaneel, 154
Loeffer, William, 248
Logos, 421, 424
Lohr, Steven, 529
Loneliness, 305
Long reports. See also Reports background or history for, 411–412
components of, 394–408
conclusions and recommendations
on, 412
elements of, 382–383
example of, 395–408
executive summary for, 410–411
format for, 126, 410
introduction for, 411
letter or memo of transmittal for, 409
list of illustrations for, 410
style for, 410
table of contents for, 409
time allocation for, 393–394
title page for, 409
titles for, 411
Kirkland, Jennifer M., 204
Kleimann, Susan, 377, 530, 533
Klein, Karen Huff, 188
Kleinmann, Susan D., 66
Knowledge, 25
Kochman, Thomas, 46, 529
Koen, Deb, 501
Kolodny, Lora, 345
Kopelman, Josh, 144
Kopytoff, Verne G., 227
Korn, Melissa, 346
Kostelnick, Charles, 108, 530
Kotter, John, 30
Koudsi, Suzanne, 501
Kozuh, Alissa, 381
Kramer, Steven, 105
Kratts, Aimee, 321
Kripalani, Manjeet, 529
Krone, Kathleen, 531
Krotz, Joanna, 202, 230, 231
Krumboltz, Mike, 336
Kumayama, Akihisa, 529
Kuneva, Gergana, 42
Kurata, Keisuke, 529
Kurutz, Steven, 531
Kuzak, Derrick, 68
Kwoh, Leslie, 450
L
LaBier, Douglas, 300
Lach, Jennifer, 528
Lahart, Justin, 442
Lamb, Gregory M., 107
Language
bias-free, 51–54
boilerplate, 67, 69
nonracist and nonagist, 53
nonsexist, 51–53
to talk about people with disabilities
and diseases, 53–54
Larson, Christine, 502
Late letters, 200
Lauer, Janice M., 533
LaVallee, Andrew, 39
Lawler, Edward E., III, 530
Lawless, Jill, 424
Layoff messages, 175
Layton, Pamela, 532
Lazarony, Lucy, 53
Leaders
dictatorial, 301
informational, 300, 302
interpersonal, 300, 302
procedural, 300, 302
Leadership
in groups, 300–302
listening skills and, 293
lectern/podium, 264 Lee, Bill, 320
Lee, Matthew, 28
Lee, Sharon, 367
Legal issues, 168
LEGO, 317
Lego Group, 176
Lending Tree, 346
Job interviews—cont. note-taking during, 494
opening to, 495
overview of, 491–492
phone or video, 503
practice for, 494–496
responding to questions during,
496–500, 502
salary and benefits negotiations
during, 501
situational, 502–503
strategy for, 493
stress, 495–496
what to bring to, 494
Job market, 441, 443
Jobs, Steve, 204
Job search. See also Job application letters; Résumés
company research and, 439–441
facing weaknesses and, 444–446
hidden job market and, 443, 445
importance factors in, 439–440
information interviews and, 441–443
self-knowledge and, 439
strategies for, 438–439
Job titles, 52
Johnnson, Frank P., 532
Johnson, Angela D., 50
Johnson, David W., 532
Johnson, Glen, 257
Johnson, Scott D., 532
Johnson, W. B., 529
Jones, Carmen, 50
Jones, Del, 44
Jones, Lolo, 275
Jones, T. Boland, 306
Jordan, Andy, 244
Judging–perceiving, 26
Judgment sample, 367, 369
Judkis, Maura, 231
Justification reports
elements of, 378, 381
explanation of, 343, 378
K
Kamenetz, Anya, 512
Kaplan, Dan, 266
Karr, Albert R., 534
Katigbak, Everett, 417
Katz, Deanne, 174
Kazoleas, Dean C., 531
Keene, Michael L., 529, 533
Kelleher, Bob, 13
Kelly, Tara, 219
Kershaw, Sarah, 75
Key, Mary Ritchie, 529
Keyes, Jim, 204
Keywords, 360, 462
Kiechel, Walter, III, 533
Kienzler, Donna S., 346, 533, 534
Kiesler, Sara, 531
Kilts, James, 326
Kim, Gina, 118
Kim, Min-Sun, 531
Kindelan, Katie, 361
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 542loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 542 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
Index 543
Mossberg, Walter, 127
Mosvick, Roger K., 532
Motivation, 41
Ms., 136 MSN, 231
MTV, 422
Mueller, Jennifer, 298
Mulally, Alan, 68
Mulcahy, Anne, 190
Mullins, John W., 344
Multiculturalism. See Cross-cultural communication
Multiple-choice questions, 365, 366
Multi-touch screens, 78
Muoio, Anna, 534
Murray, Sam, 502
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, 26
MySpace, 199, 229, 317
N
Nadler, Lawrence B., 529
Nadler, Marjorie Keeshan, 529
Narration, 330–331
Nassauer, Sarah, 113
National Assessment of Adult Literacy, 6
National School Boards Association, 300
Nawrocki, Paul, 469
Negative messages
buffers for, 172–174
checklist for, 180
e-mail, 222–224
explanation of, 164
legal implications of, 168
method to produce, 175–179
misrepresentation in, 150
organization of, 165–166
for peers and subordinates, 172
for people outside your organization,
166–171
purposes of, 165
subject line for, 165
for superiors, 171, 172
types of, 174–175
word use and, 102–104
Negative performance appraisals, 175
Negatives
deemphasis of, 105–106
explanation of, 101
hidden, 103
justification for, 105
omission of, 105
Negative words, 102–104, 257
Neilsen, Jakob, 166
Nelson, Beverly H., 534
Nelson, Robert B., 532
Nervousness, 334–335
Netburn, Deborah, 228
Netflix, 13
Netiquette rules, 226
Networking, 317
Newman, Barry, 132
Newton, Isaac, 302
Ni, Preston, 335
Nielsen, Jakob, 78, 227, 530, 531
Nielsen Media Research, 368
effective participation in, 318–319
function of, 312
informal, 319–320
minutes for, 319
planning for, 313–316
types of, 313
virtual, 320–321
Memo of transmittal, 409
Memos
design of, 80
example of positive, 149
explanation of, 126
format for, 137–140
Menu design, 74
Merchant, Jerrold J., 529
Messages. See also E-mail messages; Informative messages; Negative messages;
Persuasive messages; Positive messages
effectiveness of, 9
group, 298
informational, 298
interpersonal, 298
procedural, 298
purposes of, 8
Metcalf, John, 9
Met Life, 101
Meyer, Paul J., 290
Michelin, 39
Microsoft, 78, 168
Microsoft Word, 127
Middle letters, 200
Millennials, 48, 49, 51
Miller, Carolyn R., 532
Miller, Herman, 321
Miller, Jared T., 52
Miller, Karen Lowry, 531
Miller, Laura, 239
Millman, Jennifer, 251
Mills, Robert S., 533
Mintzberg, Henry, 6, 528
Minutes, meeting, 319
Misplaced modifier, 242
Mixed punctuation, 127
Mizuho Securities Co., 251
MLA style, 370–372, 375–376
Mochari, Ilan, 531
Modern Language Association (MLA), 370
Modified block format, for letters, 127, 129,
131, 134
Modifiers
avoiding vague or empty, 390
dangling, 163, 242
misplaced, 242
Molloy, John T., 45, 106, 493
Monochronic cultures, 45, 47
Monster.com, 440
Moody, Chris, 25
Moore, Teresa, 532
Moore, Tyler, 266
moral/morale, 265 Moran, Robert T., 532
Morgan, Gareth, 531, 532
Morkes, John, 227, 531
Morrison, Denise, 326
Mortgage Resolution Partners, 62
Moss, Frederick K., 528
Look-Look, 367
loose/lose, 265 Lopez, Julie Amparano, 534
Lorenz, Kate, 493
Louie, David, 9
Low-context cultures, 40–41
Lowry, Tom, 197
Lowy, Joan, 191
Lubell, Jeffrey, 382
Lublin, Joann, 321, 394
Lucas, George, 353
Lundberg, Abbie, 108
Lunsford, Andrea, 306, 532
Luse, Donna W., 534
Lutz, Bob, 228
Lynch, Jack, 239
Lynch, Peter, 533
Lyons, Dan, 166
M
Madden, Normandy, 97, 259
Main clauses, 243
Main points, 333–334
Major, Brenda, 529
Make-good reports, 343
Malik, Tariq, 116
Maltz, Daniel N., 46, 529
Managers, 6–7
Manjoo, Farhad, 360
Mann, Camille, 52
Manterfield, Lisa, 383
Marche, Stephen, 305
Margins, 77–78, 80
Marketing plans, 21
Martin, Joanne, 531
Maslow, Abraham H., 113–114, 530
Masters, Coco, 54
Mathes, J. C., 528, 531
Matson, Eric, 532
Mattioli, Dana, 394, 528
Matuson, Roberta, 304
Mayfield, Jacqueline, 106
Mayfield, Milton, 106
Mayo, Clara, 529
McAdam, Thomas, 274
McCain, John, 257
McCaulley, Mary H., 528
McCord, Elizabeth A., 168
McCorvey, J. J., 230, 231
McDonald’s, 39, 54, 97
McFarland, Shannon, 492
McGill, R., 533
McGrane, Victoria, 154
McGuire, Timothy W., 531
McIsaac, Claudia MonPere, 528
McKinsey & Co., 313
McLeod, Poppy Lauretta, 529
McManus, Sean, 530
McQueen, M. P., 51
McTeer, Bob, 245
Mean, 369, 370
Median, 369, 370
Meetings. See also Groups agenda for, 314–317, 319
decision-making strategies for, 316–318
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 543loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 543 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
544 Index
Parker-Pope, Tara, 130
Parliamentary meetings, 313
Particular to general organization, 383
Partnership for 21st Century Skills, 4
Passive verbs, 93, 94, 274–275
Passive voice, 86–87
Paul, Annie Murphy, 290
Pay-back reports, 343
Peek, Scott, 496
Peer pressure, 301–302
Penkar, Samir, 316
Perchonock, Ellen, 532
Performance appraisals
example of, 201
explanation of, 200, 202
negative, 175
Period, 249
Perryman, Mark, 343
Personal appearance, 130
Personality, 26, 215–216
Personal names, of readers, 136–137
personal/personnel, 265 Personal pronouns, 241
Personal space, 43
Persuasive messages
checklist for, 208
e-mail, 224–225
objections to, 193–196
organization of, 190–193
purposes of, 8, 187, 188
strategies for, 188–189, 203–207
subject line for, 189–190
techniques for, 196–199
tone for, 106–107, 197
types of, 188, 199–203
Persuasive presentations, 326, 328
Petrini, Janis, 387
Pettit, John D., 531
Petzinger, Thomas, Jr., 534
Pew Charitable Trust, 74
Philbin, John P. “Pat,” 106
Phillips, Matthew, 446
Phishing, 220
Phone calls, following job interviews,
507–509, 511
Phone job interviews, 503
Photographs. See also Visuals bias-free, 54
guidelines to use, 30
Phrases
nonsexist, 51
in sentences, 243
transition, 282
Pictograms, 421
Piëch, Anton, 47
Pie charts, 418–420
Pitch, 333
Planning
for document design, 80–81
function of, 60
for meetings, 313–316
strategies for, 62–64
Planning guides, 63, 64
Plural nouns, 122
Plural possessives, 111, 122
Orders, 198
Orenstein, Peggy, 176
Organizational culture. See also Cultural diversity; Culture
explanation of, 28, 30
as learned culture, 188–189
writing style and, 282
Organizational patterns
for business communication, 6, 29
chronological, 385
comparison/contrast, 382
elimination of alternatives, 382–383
functional, 384
general to particular or particular to general,
383
geographic or spatial, 383–384
for informative and positive messages,
145–150
for letters, 63
for negative messages, 165–166
for oral presentations, 332–334
for persuasive messages, 190–193, 195
problem-solution, 382
for short reports, 381–385
types of, 333, 381–382
Organizations
analyzing people in, 27–28
cultural diversity in, 38–39
understanding needs of, 20
Orientation, 298
Orphans, 80
Outzen, Rick, 422
Overview of main points, 333–334
Ozanian, Mike, 343
P
Packer, A. E., 529
Page numbers, 80
Pagonis, William G., 291
PAIBOC questions
analysis using, 12
audience and, 22–23
explanation of, 12
for informative and positive messages, 152
for long reports, 410
for negative messages, 175–176
for persuasive messages, 203
Paice, Shayndi, 378
Paired bar charts, 421
Palin, Sarah, 335–336
Papachristou, Paraskevi, 369
Pappas, Stephanie, 93
Paradi, Dave, 78
Paragraphs
concluding, 378
elements of good, 414
introductory, 378
in job application letters, 478, 480–481
revision of, 281–282
summary, 476
Parallel headings, 388
Parallel structure, 186, 242, 280
Paraphrasing, 304–305
Parentheses, 249
Nike, 28, 51
Nine-Curt, Carmen Judith, 529
Nivea, 21
Noise, 23, 24, 320
Nokia, 39
Nolan, Roland, 50
Nonagist language, 53
Nonessential clauses, 248
Nonracist language, 53
Nonsexist language, 51–53
Nonverbal communication, 4, 41–42
Nonverbal symbols, 45
Notes, for oral presentations, 335–336
Note-taking, during job interviews, 494
Noun–pronoun agreement, 235, 240
Nouns
case of, 241
concrete, 448
plural, 122
Nudd, Tim, 393
Numbers, 251, 368–370, 472
O
Obama, Barack, 193, 257
Objections
of audience, 12, 23
to persuasive messages, 193–196
Objective pronouns, 241
objective/rationale, 265 O’Connor, Anahad, 104
Odell, Lee, 530
Odum, Charles, 168
O’Keefe, Daniel J., 531
Olofson, Cathy, 532
Ondaatje, Michael, 62
O’Neill, Vincent, 529
One-on-one meetings, 313
1-2-3 organization, 333
Online résumés, 468
Open body positions, 42
Openers
job interview, 495
oral presentation, 330–331
Open punctuation, 127
Open questions, 364, 365
Optimism, 103, 104
Oracle Corporation, 31
Oral communication
complements and, 47
explanation of, 45–46
silence in, 47
understatement and exaggeration in, 46
Oral presentations
audience for, 326–328
audience questions following, 336
delivery of, 334–336
function of, 325, 326, 328
group, 337
openers and closings for, 330–332
organization of, 332–334
planning for, 326–327
types of, 326, 328
visuals in, 328–330, 335–336, 417, 425
voice for, 333
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 544loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 544 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
Index 545
for class research projects, 346–351
elements of, 346
explanation of, 345
funding, 352
planning guide for, 64
procedure prior to writing, 343–345
sales, 351–352
Prospecting letters, 476, 478–481
Psychographic characteristics, 26
Psychological description, 116–117
Psychological reactance, 169
Punctuation. See also Grammar apostrophe, 100, 111, 122, 245–247
brackets, 250, 373
colon, 247
comma, 245, 247–248
dash, 248, 323
ellipses, 240
expert disagreement on, 255
hyphen, 248, 323
in letters, 127
parentheses, 249
period, 249
professional image and, 239
proofreading for, 472
quotations, 249–251, 373
semicolon, 249
square brackets, 250
Purdy, Kevin, 69
Puri, Manju, 104
Purpose statements, 344–346
Puzzanghera, Jim, 74
Q
Quam, Ross, 440
Quarterly reports, 343
Questionnaires, 363, 364, 366
Questions
audience, 336
branching, 366
closed, 364–366
job interview, 496–500, 502
multiple-choice, 365, 366
open, 364, 365
for oral presentation opener, 331
polite, 386
specific, 386
survey, 363–366
Quick, Becky, 191
Quickcorrect, 80
quiet/quite, 265 Quintanilla, Carl, 533
Quintura, 418
Quotation marks, 249, 250
Quotations
for oral presentation opener, 331
punctuation of, 249–251
in reports, 373
R
Ragged right margins, 77–78
Ramirez, Ramon, 228
Rampell, Catherine, 103
Random sample, 367, 369
possible/possibly, 265 Postal Service abbreviations, 135
Posture, 42, 335
Poulton, E. C., 530
PowerPoint slides, 78
Powers, Melanie E., 531
precede/proceed, 265 Predication errors, 243
Prejudice, 93
Presentations. See Oral presentations Presentation slides
design of, 78, 79
guidelines for, 328, 330
for informative presentations, 329
Presenting problem, 304
Primary audience, 20
Primary research, 359
principal/principle, 265 Print preview, 80
Print research sources, 362
Private, 229
Pro and con pattern, 382
Problem-causes-solution organization, 333
Problem-solution organization, 382
Problem-solving messages. See also Decision making
example of, 194
organization of, 191–193, 195
pattern for, 188, 190
time allocation for, 203
Problem-solving reports, 343
Procedural leaders, 300, 302
Procedural messages, 298
Pro-con organization, 333
Procrastination, 69
Procter & Gamble, 9, 317, 457
Product placements, 197
Professional image, 239
Progress reports
chronological, 354, 355
explanation of, 353–354
recommendation, 355
task, 354
ProLiteracy, 8
Pronouns
agreement between nouns and, 235, 240
case of, 241
nonsexist, 52–53
objective, 241
personal, 241
possessive, 241, 246
second-person, 281
third-person, 281
Proofreading
of collaborative documents, 307
explanation of, 64, 66
guidelines for, 472
importance of, 69
marking errors when, 251–252
of résumés, 451
Proofreading symbols, 252
Proportional fonts, 75
Proposals
budget and costs, 352–353
business plans as, 345–347
PNC, 119
Podmolik, Mary Ellen, 532
Point of view, 97
Polishing Your Prose
active and passive voice, 86–87
answers to, 524–527
combining sentences, 295–296
commas in lists, 285–286
comma splices, 36–37
concise writing, 390–391
dangling modifiers, 163
delivering criticism, 312
details, 448
dictionary use, 506
expert disagreement on grammar and
punctuation, 255
expressing personality, 215–216
formality level, 339
hyphens and dashes, 323
idioms, 58
I/me, 513–514 it’s/its, 100 MLA style, 375–376
noun–pronoun agreement, 235
paragraphs, 414–415
parallel structure, 186
plurals and possessives, 122
proofreading, 472
run-on sentences, 269–270
sentence fragments, 18
singular and plural possessives, 111
spell/grammar checkers, 72
subject lines and headings, 435
subject–verb agreement, 141–142
verb tenses, 357–358
who/whom, 513–514
you/I use, 489–490
Politeness, 107, 386
Polychronic cultures, 45, 47
Pondy. Louis R., 531
Pope, Justin, 528
Population, 366
Porter, Natalie, 529
Positive emphasis
apologies and, 108
ethics and, 106
explanation of, 102
justifying negative information by
offering, 105
methods to create, 102–106
tone and, 106–108
Positive messages
checklist for, 156
e-mail, 221–223
examples of, 147–149
explanation of, 143
method to produce, 152–156
organization of, 145–146
reader benefits in, 148–150
subject line for, 144–145
types of, 144, 150–152
Positive words, 257–258
Posner, Andrew, 5
Possessive pronouns, 241, 246
Possessives, 111, 122
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 545loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 545 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
546 Index
S
Saatchi & Saatchi, 224
Safer, Morley, 20
Sahadi, Jeanne, 440
Salary/benefits negotiation, 501
Sales proposals, 351–352
Sales reports, 343
Saliard, Shannon, 10
Salutation, 127
Same-sex couples, touch in, 43
Samples, survey, 366–369
Sancton, Julian, 197
Sands, Judith Gordon, 291, 532
Sans serif fonts, 77
Santos, Fernanda, 331
Saville-Troike, Muriel, 529
Savin, Harris B., 532
Scannable résumés, 465–468
Schawbel, Dan, 27, 443
Schellhardt, Timothy D., 533
Scherer, Michael, 29
Schmandt-Besserat, Denise, 13
Schmid, Randolph E., 118
Schoenberger, Chana R., 169
Schrage, Michael, 151, 532
Schuessler, Jennifer, 153
Schullery, Nancy, 532
Schultz, Beatrice, 532
Schultz, Howard, 327
Search engines, 317, 418. See also specific search engines
Secondary audience, 20–21
Secondary research, 359, 368
Second-person pronouns, 281
Segal, Jonathan A., 176, 200
Segmented bars, 421
Self-image, 113
Seligman, Martin, 101
Semicolon, 249
Sensing–intuition, 26
Sentence fragments, 18, 244–246
Sentences
basic pattern for, 414
comma splices, 36–37, 243–244
complex, 278
compound, 278
explanation of, 243
fused, 244
method to combine, 277, 295–296
punctuation inside, 245–249 (See also Punctuation)
run-on, 244, 269–270
simple, 277
summary, 476
topic, 281, 387
varying length and structure of, 277–280
you-attitude in, 91–94
Serif fonts, 75, 77
Sexist language, 51–53
Shanahan, Danny, 500
Shapley, Dan, 106
Sharkey, Joe, 3
Shelby, Annette N., 101, 530
Shellenbarger, Sue, 241, 316, 320, 534
Shepardson, David, 135
checklist for, 469
chronological, 452–453, 455, 457
computer use to create, 451
educational background on, 462–463
explanation of, 449
honors and awards on, 463–464
keywords for jobs on, 462
layout and design of, 451
length of, 465
online, 468
proofreading, 451
references on, 464
scannable, 465–468
skills, 452, 454, 456, 458–461
strategies for, 451–452
summary of qualifications on, 461–462
time planning for, 450
video, 468–470
Rettner, Rachel, 93
Reverse chronology, 452
Revision
after feedback, 68
checklist for, 65
of collaborative documents, 307
explanation of, 64, 66
function of, 60, 64, 271
guidelines for, 273–274
to improve you-attitude, 94–96
of paragraphs, 281–282
strategies for, 274–281
Revkin, Andrew C., 168
Reynolds, Fred, 64, 530
Reynolds, Linda, 530
Rice, Anne, 62
Richey, Warren, 336
Rico, Gabriela Lusser, 530
Rigdon, Joan E., 532
Ritchie, Karen, 529
Robbins, Stephen P., 304, 532
Roberts, David D., 533
Robinson, David T., 104
Robinson, Ray, 534
Rogers, Priscilla S., 531
role/roll, 266 Romano, Joseph D., 345
Romney, Mitt, 257
Rondthaler, Ed, 266
Roney, Luke, 476
Rooney, Andy, 245
Roosevelt, Theodore, 266
Rose, Barbara, 529
Rose, Richard C., 534
Rosenbaum, David, 108
Rosman, Katherine, 226
Rothchild, John, 533
Rothenberger, Cecilia, 28, 528
Rowland, Kenneth, 530
Rowley, Laura, 119
Rozhon, Tracie, 533
Rubin, Harriet, 50
Run-on sentences, 244, 269–270
RunPee.com, 97
Rutherford, LeAne, 533
Ryan, Kevin, 27
Rydholm, Erik, 498
Range, 369, 370
Reader benefits. See also Audience criteria for use of, 117–118, 120, 151
detail guidelines for, 115–117
explanation of, 112–114
identification of, 113–115
in informative and positive messages,
148–150
for specific audiences, 119
you-attitude and, 120
Reading skills, in United States, 5
Recommendation letters, 202–203
Recommendation progress reports, 355
Recommendation reports, 343
Reder, Stephen, 5
Redundancy, 390
Reference line, in letters, 127
Referral interviews, 443
Referrals, 443
Refusal messages, 174–175
Regular staff meetings, 313
regulate/relegate, 265 Reichheld, Frederick F., 533
Reinsch, N. Lamar, Jr., 101, 530
Rejection messages, 174–175
Reports
analytical, 343
annual, 343
closure, 378
examples of, 379–380, 395–408
explanation of, 343
feasibility, 343
formal, 343, 392
informal, 343, 378
informative, 343, 378–380
justification, 343, 378, 381
levels of, 343
long, 392–412 (See also Long reports) make-good, 343
progress, 353–355
purpose of, 345
short, 377–388 (See also Short reports) steps to write, 342
types of, 343
Requests
direct, 189–192
indirect, 191
purpose of, 8
Research
analysis of, 368–370
on companies, 439–441
documenting sources of, 370–373, 375–376
electronic, 361
Internet use for, 360–363
primary, 359
print, 362
secondary, 359, 368
surveys and interviews and, 363–368
residence/residents, 265 Resilience, 107
respectfully/respectively, 266 Respondents, 363
Résumés. See also Job application letters action verbs for, 457, 458
career objectives on, 463
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 546loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 546 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
Index 547
collaborative writing in, 306–308
function of, 297
virtual, 306
Technology. See also E-mail messages; Internet cloud, 127
grammar checkers and, 65–66, 72, 263
impact of, 217
job applications and, 474, 492
research and, 360–363
social networking and, 227–230
spell-checkers and, 66, 72
trends in Internet-based, 230–231
videoconferencing and, 231, 313
Telecomcareers.net, 440
Telfer, Lauren, 119
Templates, 451
Temple-Raston, Dina, 291
Tempo, 333
Tenses, verb, 357–358, 391
Terberg, Julie, 533
Terlep, Sharon, 378
Tesla Motors, 8
Testa, Garry, 320
Text messages, 218, 231
Thank-you notes, 152
Theibert, Phil, 533
their/there/they’re, 266 Thinking–feeling, 26
Third-person pronouns, 281
Thompson, Andrea, 116
Thompson, Carolyn, 32
Thorell, L. G., 533
Thralls, Charlotte, 532
Tibbets, Arn, 532
Tilghman, Kelly, 50
Time, perception of, 44–45
Time planning
for e-mail messages, 223–225
for job application letters, 475
for problem-solving messages, 203
for proposal writing, 344
for report writing, 393–394
for résumés, 450
strategies for, 61, 62
Title page, for reports, 409
Titles, for reports, 411
to be, 275 Tommasini, Anthony, 60
Tone. See also Writing style choice of appropriate, 273
for job application letters, 483, 485
for persuasive messages, 106–107, 197
Topic headings, 387
Topic sentences, 281, 387
Toppo, Greg, 6
to/too/two, 266 Touch, 43, 116
Townsend, Alan, 168
Townsend, Linda, 168
Toyoda, Akio, 107
Toyota, 107–108, 224
Trade journals, 441, 442
Transitions
in paragraphs, 414
words and phrases for, 282, 387, 414
Spyware programs, 226
Square brackets, 250, 373
Stableford, Dylan, 165
Stacked bars, 421
Stacy, Mitch, 264
Stafford, Diane, 277, 501
Standard agenda, 316–317, 319
stationary/stationery, 266 Steinmail, Joanna Pearl, 120
Stern, Gabriella, 531
Stern, Gary M., 370
Stevenson, Dwight W., 528, 531
Stokes, Jeff, 5, 528
Storyboard, 63
Strauss, Valerie, 24
Strauss, William, 48, 49
Stress Interviews, 495–496
Strickland, Ashley, 60
Strimaitis, Janet, 346
Struzik, Ed, 457
Stump, Susan, 188
Style. See Writing style Subbaraman, Nidhi, 219
Subdivided bars, 421
Subject lines
directed, 190
for e-mail messages, 220, 222–223
explanation of, 144, 435
for informative or positive messages, 144–145
in letters, 127
for negative messages, 165
for persuasive messages, 189–190
Subject–verb agreement, 141–142, 239–240
Subordinate clauses, 243
Suchan, James, 188, 531, 532
Suddath, Claire, 319
Sullivan, John, 440
Sullivan, Patricia, 533
Summaries, 151
Summary paragraphs, 476
Summary sentences, 476
Sun Microsystems, 31
Supervisors
abusive, 300
informal meetings with, 319–320
Surveys
explanation of, 363
questions for, 363–366
sample choices for, 366–369
Symbols, nonverbal, 45
T
Table of contents, for reports, 409–410
Tables, 418–420
Tabs, 80
Tab settings, 80
Talking heads, 388, 435
Tang, ZhaoHui, 418
Tannen, Deborah, 529, 534
Tanner, Lindsay, 531
Task progress reports, 354
Taylor, Lynn, 478
Taylor, Marisa, 26
Team meetings, 313
Teams. See also Groups
Sherman, Mark A., 530
Short reports. See also Reports feasibility, 378
format for, 126
function of, 377
informative or closure, 378–380
justification, 378, 381
organizational patterns for, 381–385
writing style for, 385–388
Shriver, Marcelle, 120
Shwom, Barbara L., 530
Siebel Systems, 31
Siegel, Jane, 531
Siegel, Matt, 528
Signature block, 136
Signposts, 334, 336
Silence, 47
Silverman, Rachel Emma, 314, 417, 501,
530, 534
Simmons, Lesly, 361
Simmons, Sophie, 119
Simons, Tad, 533
Simple sentences, 277
simple/simplistic, 266 Simpson, Adrian J., 532
Singular possessives, 111
Situational job interviews, 502–503
Skills résumés, 452, 454, 456, 458–461. See also Résumés
Skyfall, 197 Skype, 231
Slides. See Presentation slides Sloan, Steven, 501
Sloate, Laura, 319
Slocombe, Mike, 530
Smartphones, 231
Smith, Ben, 493
Smith, Catharine, 368
Smith, Greg, 94
Smith, Jacquelyn, 496
Smith, Rebecca, 462, 534
Smith, W. J., 533
Snow, Craig, 532
Social networking
business applications for, 228–230
complaints and, 151
job applicants and, 492
loneliness and, 305
strategies for, 227
Solicited letters, 476–478, 480
Solomon, Caleb, 531
Solutions Marketing Group, 50
Southwest Airlines, 510
Space, personal, 43
Spatial arrangements, 43–44
Spatial organization, 383–384
Speaking rate, 289
Spell-checkers, 66, 72, 263, 472
Spielberg, Steven, 353
Spilka, Rachel, 62, 530
Split infinitives, 239
Splunk, 360
Spoke.com, 229
Sprinkle, Tim, 367
Sprung, Shlomo, 499
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 547loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 547 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
548 Index
The Woman’s Dress for Success Book (Molloy), 45
Wong, Shantel, 97
Woodruff, David, 531
Woods, Tiger, 50
Wooley, Ryan, 51
Word choice
appropriate, 256
to express personality, 215–216
for reports, 385
Wordiness, 276–277, 386
Word (Microsoft), 127
Word-processing programs, 80
Words
accurate, 256
analysis of, 369–370
concise, 390
confusing, 261–267
connotation of, 257–258, 260
denotation of, 257, 260
familiar, 256, 258
jargon, 260–261
meaning of, 260
negative, 102–104
nonsexist, 51
positive, 257–258
redundant, 390
transitional, 282, 387
unnecessary, 276–277
Workplace
abusive supervisors in, 300
communication skills for, 3–5
creating professional image in, 130
cultural diversity in, 38–39, 49–51
depressed workers in, 154
The World Factbook, 43 Wozniak, Steve, 302
Writer’s block, strategies to overcome, 69
Writing process
collaborative, 306–308
design as element of, 80–81
feedback and, 66–68
form letters and, 67, 69
planning and, 60, 61–63
procrastination and, 69
revision and, 60, 64–66, 68, 94–96,
274–281, 307
strategies for, 60–61
writer’s block and, 69
Writing style. See also Tone of business communication, 6
concise, 390–391
conversational, 45
to express personality, 215–216
formality of, 30, 339
guidelines for, 29, 272, 273–274
levels of, 272
organizational culture and, 282
for reports, 385–388, 410
revision and, 274–282
tightening up your, 276–277
Written messages. See also Messages cost of, 8–9
cultural contrasts in, 48
effectiveness of, 9
Wuorio, Jeff, 531
Victor, David, 40
Victor, David A., 529
Videoconferencing, 231, 313
Video job interviews, 503
Video résumés, 468–470
Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State
University, 61
Virtual job interviews, 503
Virtual meetings, 320–321
Virtual teams, 306
Virus, computer, 226
Visuals. See also Presentation slides bias-free, 54
color and clip art as, 421–422
design conventions for, 419–422
ethical use of, 422–424
function of, 6, 416–417
guidelines to use, 30, 418, 422–424
integration of, 424
in presentations, 328–330, 335–336,
417, 425
types of, 418–419
Voice
active and passive, 86–87
for oral presentations, 333
Volume, voice, 333
Vranica, Suzanne, 378
W
Wallace, Alexandria, 228
Walsh, Joe, 108
Wanous, John P., 530
Warshaw, Michael, 119
Watchdog audience, 21
Watson Wyatt Worldwide, 9
Webb, John, 529
Weber, Harry R., 44
Weber, Lauren, 457
Web pages. See also Internet analysis of, 363
design of, 78–79
Weeks, Francis W., 531
Weger, John J., 530
Weinhaus, Evonne, 195
Weiss, Piper, 144, 275
Weissman, Jerry, 326
Welsh-Huggins, Andrew, 327
Wendleton, Kate, 534
whether/weather, 267 Whitbourne, Susan Krauss, 289
Whiteman, Doug, 327
White space, 74
who/whom, 513–514 Widows, 80
Wieners, Brad, 177
Wiens, Kyle, 244
Wilder, Claudyne, 330
Williams, Andrea, 532
Williams, Nicole, 277
Williams, Ray B., 528
Wills, J., 533
Wilson, Simone, 228
Windolf, Jim, 353
W.L. Gore & Associates, 11
Wolvin, Andrew D., 532
Translations, 47
Transmit, 23
Transmittals, 150–151
Trip reports, 64
Tropman, John E., 302, 532
Trump, Donald, 193
Truncated visuals, 422–424
Truss, Lynne, 248
Tufte, Edward R., 533
Tugend, Alina, 104
Tulgan, Bruce, 49
Tumposky, Ellen, 21
Turner, Ted, 5
Twain, Mark, 266
Twitter, 151, 230
Tyler, Lisa, 530
Typos, 9, 251
Typo-squatters, 266
U
UBS, 493
Ulijin, J. M., 46
Underlining, 250–251
Understatement, 46
Unemployment rate, 3, 445–446
Unified paragraphs, 414
unique/unusual, 266 U.S. Census Bureau, 48, 53
U.S. Postal Service abbreviations, 135
Unity, 281
University of California, Berkeley, 93
University of Wisconsin Writing Center, 66
V
Valdes, Manuel, 492
Values
cultural diversity and, 41
explanation of, 26–27
Values and Lifestyles (VALS) profiles, 27
Vample, Ron, 274
Vanac, Mary, 97
Van Allen, Fox, 67
Vance, Ashley, 320
Vargas, Marjorie Fink, 529, 533
Variety, in paragraphs, 414
Venkataraman, Nitya, 11
Venting, 302
Verbal communication, 4
verbal/oral, 266 Verbs
action, 457, 458
active, 274–275
agreement between subject and, 141–142,
239–240
concrete, 448
function of, 274–275
object of, 241
passive, 93, 94, 274–275
in sentences, 279–280
Verb tenses, 357–358, 391
Vergara, Eva, 69
Versis, 113
Vested interest, 193
Vickers, Yvette, 305
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 548loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 548 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Confirming pages
Index 549
Z
Zack, Liz, 11
Zeebie, Bill, 496
Zelazny, Gene, 533
Zhou, Kevin, 11
Ziomek, Erin, 498
Zolli, Andrew, 107
Zuckerberg, Mark, 49
Zwaga, Harm, 530
You-attitude
in conflict resolution, 305
explanation of, 90, 92, 94
in job application letters, 483, 485
methods to create, 91–94
positive emphasis and, 104–105
questions and, 386
reader benefits and, 120
revision and, 94–96
you/I use and, 489–490 your/you’re, 267 YouTube, 49, 230
X
Xerox, 119, 507
Y
Yaffa, Joshua, 77
Yahoo!, 231, 317
Yang, Kelly, 503
Yen, Hope, 39, 366, 441, 528
Yochim, Dayana, 150
York, Emily Bryson, 264
you, 385, 489–490
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 549loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 549 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 550loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 550 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 551loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 551 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 552loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 552 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 553loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 553 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 554loc03261_idx_537-554.indd 554 25/01/13 12:16 PM25/01/13 12:16 PM
Module 1 Sentence Fragments 18
Module 2 Comma Splices 36
Module 3 Using Idioms 58
Module 4 Using Spell and Grammar Checkers 72
Module 5 Active and Passive Voice 86
Module 6 It’s/Its 100
Module 7 Singular and Plural Possessives 111
Module 8 Plurals and Possessives 122
Module 9 Making Subjects and Verbs Agree 141
Module 10 Dangling Modi� ers 163
Module 11 Parallel Structure 186
Module 12 Expressing Personality 215
Module 13 Making Nouns and Pronouns Agree 235
Module 14 Matters on Which Experts Disagree 255
Module 15 Run-On Sentences 269
Module 16 Commas in Lists 285
Module 17 Combining Sentences 295
Module 18 Delivering Criticism 311
Module 19 Hyphens and Dashes 323
Module 20 Choosing Levels of Formality 339
Module 21 Mixing Verb Tenses 357
Module 22 Using MLA Style 375
Module 23 Being Concise 390
Module 24 Improving Paragraphs 414
Module 25 Writing Subject Lines and Headings 435
Module 26 Using Details 448
Module 27 Proofreading 472
Module 28 Using You and I 489
Module 29 Using a Dictionary 506
Module 30 Who/Whom and I/Me 513
W H Y 3 0 M O D U L A R C H A P T E R S ?
F R E E D O M • F L E X I B I L I T Y • F O C U S E D C L A S S R O O M
Sixth Edition
Kitty O. Locker Stephen Kyo Kaczmarek
ISBN 978-0-07-340326-7 MHID 0-07-340326-1
E A N
We listened to the increasing demand for more fexibility with teaching materials. This modular format was created to cater to the way in which instructors teach, and students learn.
Through the author’s modular approach, instructors have the freedom to customize their text and assignments piece-by-piece. By breaking chapters into more manageable, topic-focused sections, instructors have the fexibility to cover and assign the content they want, in the or- der they want to better suit their individual teaching styles.
Instead of losing students in chapters that are long, unspecifc, or out of order, with this book students move toward an understanding of the foundations and piece together the critical skills needed to become suc- cessful communicators in the Business Communication feld.
www.mhhe.com/lockerbcs6e
www.mhhe.comwww.domorenow.com
Why 30 ModuLar Chapters?
FreedoM • FLexibiLity • FoCused CLassrooM
B u sin
ess C o m m u n icatio
n b u iL d in
g C
r it
iC a L s
K iL L s
L o c ke r
K a c zm
a re k
Sixth Edition Business
Communication
buiLding CritiCaL sKiLLs
M D
D A
L IM
1223268 1/23/13 C Y
A N
M A
G Y
E L
O B
L A
C K
- Cover Page
- WHY 30 MODULAR CHAPTERS?
- Half Title Page
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Dedication
- About the Author
- New and Improved Coverage in BCS6e!
- Acknowledgments
- Guided Tour
- Support Materials
- Brief Contents
- Table of Content
- Unit One Building Blocks for Effective Messages
- Module 1 Business Communication, Management, and Success
- Will I really have to write?
- Don’t I know enough about communication?
- What does communication accomplish?
- The Importance of Listening, Speaking,and Interpersonal Communication
- The Purposes of Messages in Organizations
- How much does correspondence cost?
- What makes a message effective?
- How should I analyze business communication situations?
- Building a Critical Skill Thinking Creatively
- Module 2 Adapting Your Message to Your Audience
- Building a Critical Skill Understanding What Your Organization Wants
- Who is my audience?
- Why is my audience so important?
- Audience and PAIBOC
- Audience and the Communication Process
- What do I need to know about my audience(s)?
- Analyzing Individuals and Members of Groups
- Analyzing People in Organizations
- Now that I have my analysis, what do I dowith it?
- What if my audiences have different needs?
- How do I reach my audience(s)?
- Module 3 Communicating Across Cultures
- What is “culture”?
- How does culture affect business communication?
- Values, Beliefs, and Practices
- Nonverbal Communication
- Body Language
- Space
- Time
- Oral Communication
- Writing to International Audiences
- There are so many different cultures! How can I know enough to communicate?
- Are differences among generations changing the workplace and how we communicate?
- Building a Critical Skill Dealing with Discrimination
- How can I make my documents bias-free?
- Making Language Nonsexist
- Making Language Nonracist and Nonagist
- Talking about People with Disabilities and Diseases
- Choosing Bias-Free Photos and Illustrations
- Module 4 Planning, Writing, and Revising
- Planning
- Writing
- Revising
- Does it matter what process I use?
- I don’t have much time. How should I use it?
- What planning should I do before I begin writing or speaking?
- What is revision? How do I do it?
- Can a grammar checker do my editing for me?
- I spell-check. Do I still need to proofread?
- How can I get better feedback?
- Can I use form letters?
- Building a Critical Skill Revising after Feedback
- How can I overcome writer’s block and procrastination?
- Module 5 Designing Documents, Slides, and Screens
- How should I design paper pages?
- Use White Space
- Use Headings
- Limit the Use of Words Set in All Capital Letters
- Use No More than Two Fonts in a Single Document
- Decide Whether to Justify Margins Based on the Situation and the Audience
- How should I design presentation slides?
- How should I design Web pages?
- How do I know whether my design works?
- Building a Critical Skill Using Computers to Create Good Design
- When should I think about design?
- Unit Two Creating Goodwill
- Module 6 You-Attitude
- How do I create you-attitude in my sentences?
- 1. Talk about the Reader, Not about Yourself
- 2. Refer to the Reader’s Request or Order Specifically
- 3. Don’t Talk about Feelings, Except to Congratulate or Offer Sympathy
- 4. In Positive Situations, Use You More Often than I. Use We When It Includes the Reader
- 5. Avoid You in Negative Situations
- Does you-attitude basically mean using the word you?
- I’ve revised my sentences. Do I need to do anything else?
- Building a Critical Skill Seeing Another Point of View
- Module 7 Positive Emphasis
- How do I create positive emphasis?
- 1. Avoid Negative Words and Words with Negative Connotations
- 2. Focus on What the Reader Can Do Rather than on Limitations
- 3. Justify Negative Information by Giving a Reason or Linking It to a Reader Benefit
- 4. If the Negative Is Truly Unimportant, Omit It
- 5. Bury the Negative Information and Present It Compactly
- Building a Critical Skill Using Positive Emphasis Ethically
- Why do I need to think about tone, politeness, and power?
- What’s the best way to apologize?
- Module 8 Reader Benefits
- Why do reader benefits work?
- How do I identify reader benefits?
- 1. Think of Feelings, Fears, and Needs that May Motivate Your Reader. Then Identify Features of Your Product or Policy that Meet Those Needs
- 2. Identify the Features of Your Product or Policy. Then Think How These Features Could Benefit the Audience
- How detailed should each benefit be?
- How do I decide which benefits to use?
- 1. Use at Least One Benefit for Each Part of Your Audience
- 2. Use Intrinsic Benefits
- 3. Use the Benefits You Can Develop Most Fully
- Building a Critical Skill Matching the Benefit to the Audience
- What else do reader benefits need?
- Unit Three Letters, Memos, E-Mail, and Web Writing
- Module 9 Formats for Letters and Memos
- How should I set up letters?
- Building a Critical Skill Creating a Professional Image, 1
- What courtesy titles should I use?
- When You Know the Reader’s Name and Gender
- When You Know the Reader’s Name but Not the Gender
- When You Know Neither the Reader’s Name Nor Gender
- How should I set up memos?
- Module 10 Informative and Positive Messages
- What’s the best subject line for an informative or positive message?
- Making Subject Lines Specific
- Making Subject Lines Concise
- Making Subject Lines Appropriate for the Pattern of Organization
- How should I organize informative and positive messages?
- When should I use reader benefits in informative and positive messages?
- What are the most common kinds of informative and positive messages?
- Transmittals
- Confirmations
- Summaries
- Adjustments and Responses to Complaints
- Thank-You and Congratulatory Notes
- How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module?
- Problem
- Analysis of the Problem
- Building a Critical Skill Writing a Goodwill Ending
- Discussion of the Sample Solutions
- Module 11 Negative Messages
- What’s the best subject line for a negative message?
- How should I organize negative messages?
- Giving Bad News to Customers and Other People Outside Your Organization
- Building a Critical Skill Thinking about the Legal Implications of What You Say
- Giving Bad News to Superiors
- Giving Bad News to Peers and Subordinates
- When should I consider using a buffer?
- What are the most common kinds of negative messages?
- Rejections and Refusals
- Disciplinary Notices and Negative Performance Appraisals
- Layoffs and Firings
- How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module?
- Problem
- Analysis of the Problem
- Discussion of the Sample Solutions
- Module 12 Persuasive Messages
- What is the best persuasive strategy?
- What is the best subject line for a persuasive message?
- How should I organize persuasive messages?
- Writing Direct Requests
- Organizing Problem-Solving Messages
- How do I identify and overcome objections?
- What other techniques can make my messages more persuasive?
- Build Credibility
- Build Emotional Appeal
- Use the Right Tone
- Building a Critical Skill Building Common Ground
- Offer a Reason for the Reader to Act Promptly
- What are the most common kinds of persuasive messages?
- Orders
- Collection Letters
- Performance Appraisals
- Letters of Recommendation
- How can I apply what I’ve learned in this module?
- Problem
- Analysis of the Problem
- Discussion of the Sample Solutions
- Module 13 E-Mail Messages, Web Writing, and Technology
- How should I set up e-mail messages?
- What kinds of subject lines should I use for e-mail messages?
- Subject Lines for Informative and Positive E-Mail Messages
- Subject Lines for Negative E-Mail Messages
- Subject Lines for Persuasive E-Mail Messages
- Should I write e-mail messages the same way I write paper messages?
- Writing Positive and Informative E-Mail Messages
- Writing Negative E-Mail Messages
- Writing Persuasive E-Mail Messages
- Building a Critical Skill Managing Your Time
- What e-mail “netiquette” rules should I follow?
- How and when should I use attachments?
- What style should I use when writing for the web?
- Can I use blogging on the job?
- Can I use social networking tools for business situations?
- Facebook and MySpace
- Spoke and LinkedIn
- YouTube
- What other technologies use the Internet?
- Unit Four Polishing Your Writing
- Module 14 Editing for Grammar and Punctuation
- Building a Critical Skill Creating a Professional Image, 2
- What grammatical errors do I need to be able to fix?
- Agreement
- Case
- Dangling Modifier
- Misplaced Modifier
- Parallel Structure
- Predication Errors
- How can I fix sentence errors?
- Comma Splices
- Run-On Sentences
- Fused Sentences
- Sentence Fragments
- Should I put a comma every place I’d take a breath?
- What punctuation should I use inside sentences?
- Apostrophe
- Colon
- Comma
- Dash
- Hyphen
- Parentheses
- Period
- Semicolon
- What do I use when I quote sources?
- Quotation Marks
- Square Brackets
- Ellipses
- Underlining and Italics
- How should I write numbers and dates?
- How do I mark errors I find in proofreading?
- Module 15 Choosing the Right Word
- Does using the right word really matter?
- Getting Your Meaning Across
- Getting the Response You Want
- Building a Critical Skill Thinking Critically
- How do words get their meanings?
- Is it OK to use jargon?
- What words confuse some writers?
- Module 16 Revising Sentences and Paragraphs
- What is “good” style?
- Building a Critical Skill Using the Right Tone
- Are there rules I should follow?
- What should I look for when I revise sentences?
- 1. Use Active Verbs Most of the Time
- 2. Use Verbs to Carry the Weight of Your Sentence
- 3. Tighten Your Writing
- 4. Vary Sentence Length and Sentence Structure
- 5. Use Parallel Structure
- 6. Put Your Readers in Your Sentences
- What should I look for when I revise paragraphs?
- 1. Begin Most Paragraphs with Topic Sentences
- 2. Use Transitions to Link Ideas
- How does organizational culture affect style?
- Unit Five Interpersonal Communication
- Module 17 Listening
- What do good listeners do?
- Pay Attention
- Focus on the Other Speaker(s) in a Generous Way
- Avoid Making Assumptions
- Listen for Feelings as Well as Facts
- What is active listening?
- How do I show people that I’m listening to them?
- Can I use these techniques if I really disagree with someone?
- Building a Critical Skill Leading by Listening
- Module 18 Working and Writing in Teams
- What kinds of messages should groups attend to?
- What roles do people play in groups?
- Leadership in Groups
- Characteristics of Successful Student Groups
- Building a Critical Skill Leading Without Being Arrogant
- Peer Pressure and Groupthink
- How should we handle conflict?
- Steps in Conflict Resolution
- Responding to Criticism
- You-Attitude in Conflict Resolution
- How can we create the best co-authored documents?
- Planning the Work and the Document
- Composing the Drafts
- Revising the Document
- Editing and Proofreading the Document
- Making the Group Process Work
- Module 19 Planning, Conducting, and Recording Meetings
- What planning should precede a meeting?
- When I’m in charge, how do I keep the meeting on track?
- What decision-making strategies work well in meetings?
- Building a Critical Skill Networking
- How can I be an effective meeting participant?
- What should go in meeting minutes?
- How can I use informal meetings with my boss to advance my career?
- Do virtual meetings require special consideration?
- Module 20 Making Oral Presentations
- What decisions do I need to make as I plan a presentation?
- Choosing the Kind of Presentation
- Adapting Your Ideas to the Audience
- Planning Visuals and Other Devices to Involve the Audience
- How can I create a strong opener and close?
- How should I organize a presentation?
- Building a Critical Skill Finding Your Best Voice
- What are the keys to delivering an effective presentation?
- Transforming Fear
- Using Eye Contact
- Standing and Gesturing
- Using Notes and Visuals
- How should I handle questions from the audience?
- What are the guidelines for group presentations?
- Unit Six Research, Reports, and Visuals
- Module 21 Proposals and Progress Reports
- What is a “report”?
- What should I do before I write a proposal?
- What should go in a proposal?
- Proposals for Class Research Projects
- Sales Proposals
- Building a Critical Skill Identifying “Hot Buttons”
- Proposals for Funding
- Figuring the Budget and Costs
- What should go in a progress report?
- Chronological Progress Reports
- Task Progress Reports
- Recommendation Progress Reports
- Module 22 Finding, Analyzing, and Documenting Information
- How can I find information online and in print?
- Building a Critical Skill Using the Internet for Research
- How do I write questions for surveys and interviews?
- How do I decide whom to survey or interview?
- How should I analyze the information I’ve collected?
- Understanding the Source of the Data
- Analyzing Numbers
- Analyzing Words
- Checking Your Logic
- How should I document sources?
- Module 23 Short Reports
- Do different kinds of reports use different patterns of organization?
- Informative and Closure Reports
- Feasibility Reports
- Justification Reports
- What are the basic strategies for organizing information?
- 1. Comparison/Contrast
- 2. Problem-Solution
- 3. Elimination of Alternatives
- 4. General to Particular or Particular to General
- 5. Geographic or Spatial
- 6. Functional
- 7. Chronological
- Should I use the same style for reports as for other business documents?
- 1. Say What You Mean
- Building a Critical Skill Asking Specific and Polite Questions
- 2. Tighten Your Writing
- 3. Use Blueprints, Transitions, Topic Sentences, and Headings
- Module 24 Long Reports
- I’ve never written anything so long. How should I organize my time?
- How do I create each of the parts of a formal report?
- Title Page
- Letter or Memo of Transmittal
- Table of Contents
- Building a Critical Skill Choosing a Long Report Format and Style
- List of Illustrations
- Executive Summary
- Introduction
- Background or History
- Conclusions and Recommendations
- Module 25 Using Visuals
- What are stories, and how do I find them?
- Does it matter what kind of visual I use?
- What design conventions should I follow?
- Tables
- Pie Charts
- Bar Charts
- Line Graphs
- Can I use color and clip art?
- What else do I need to check for?
- Building a Critical Skill Integrating Visuals into Your Text
- Can I use the same visuals in my document and my presentation?
- Unit Seven Job Hunting
- Unit Seven Job Hunting
- Module 26 Researching Jobs
- What do I need to know about myself to job hunt?
- What do I need to know about companies that might hire me?
- Building a Critical Skill Choosing Whether to Stay or Go
- Should I do information interviews?
- What is the “hidden job market”? How do I tap into it?
- What do I do if I’ve got a major weakness?
- “All My Experience Is in My Family’s Business”
- “I’ve Been Out of the Job Market for a While”
- “I Want to Change Fields”
- “I Was Fired”
- “I Don’t Have Any Experience”
- “I’m a Lot Older than They Want”
- Module 27 Résumés
- How can I encourage the employer to pay attention to my résumé?
- Building a Critical Skill Using a Computer to Create Résumés
- What kind of résumé should I use?
- How do the two résumés differ?
- Chronological Résumés
- Skills Résumés
- What parts of the two résumés are the same?
- Contact Information
- Summary of Qualifications
- Education
- Career Objective
- Honors and Awards
- References
- What should I do if the standard categories don’t fit?
- Should I limit my résumé to just one page?
- How do I create a scannable résumé?
- How should I prepare an online résumé?
- Can I use a video résumé?
- Module 28 Job Application Letters
- What kind of letter should I use?
- How are the two letters different?
- The First Paragraph of a Solicited Letter
- First Paragraphs of Prospecting Letters
- Last Paragraphs
- What parts of the two letters are the same?
- Showing a Knowledge of the Position and the Company
- Separating Yourself from Other Applicants
- Building a Critical Skill Targeting a Specific Company in Your Letter
- Can I use T-letters?
- How long should my letter be?
- How do I create the right tone?
- You-Attitude
- Positive Emphasis
- The company wants an e-mail application. What should I do?
- Module 29 Job Interviews
- Why do I need an interview strategy?
- What details should I think about?
- What to Wear
- What to Bring to the Interview
- Note-Taking
- How to Get There
- Should I practice before the interview?
- How to Act
- Parts of the Interview
- Stress Interviews
- How should I answer traditional interview questions?
- Building a Critical Skill Negotiating Salary and Benefits
- How can I prepare for behavioral and situational interviews?
- How can I prepare for phone or video interviews?
- Module 30 Follow-Up Letters and Calls and Job Offers
- What should I say in a follow-up phone call or letter?
- What do I do if my first offer isn’t the one I most want?
- Building a Critical Skill Being Enthusiastic
- Is there anything else I should do?
- Glossary
- Polishing Your Prose Answers
- Endnotes
- Credits
- Index
- Back Cover
