ENGL essay comments

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Hello Ruotong,

Thank you for your paper.

For your thesis, I’m a bit confused on what exactly it is. Usually, your thesis is the last sentence of your first paragraph but I believe yours is placed towards the end. Is this your thesis?

“Most female character like Dorcas and Alice Manfred, Violet Trace are examples of migrant women who are concerned with stress and difficulty implications of migration.”

If so, be sure to place it in the introductory paragraph. This way, the reader will understand the direction of your paper. Also be sure to explain concepts like the book you were reading and gender issues in the first paragraph. Right now it is a bit confusing as new ideas seem to pop up as you haven’t taken the time in the introduction to introduce everything.

Be sure to also have your conclusion restate your thesis and all the points you have made in your paper.

For MLA formatting, the best thing you can do is use online resources. Below is a link to the perdue owl citation guide. Follow it closely and look at the examples given. There are guides on how to source anything and everything on the website. You can even plug in your book info at the top and it will cite the resource for you. Read carefully and follow the instructions. The one thing I can immediately notice in your citations is you use colons instead of commas so be sure to fix those.

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_formatting_quotations.html

For titles, a simple title is fine. Usually titles are formatted like this

Catchy Title: Sub title

Your catchy title can be something like what you have right now. Your sub title will be a deeper explanation of what is actually discussed in your paper. If I was writing a paper on the movie Toy Story and how it changed movies, I might have a title like this

Toys for Sale: How Pixar’s Hit Changed the Animated Business

The first part is a hook title and the second part describes the content of my paper. For a better title, right now I think you only need the subtitle part. Think of a way to quickly state the issue of your paper and add it to your current title.

I hope this helps!

-Anjali Sojwal

THE GREAT MIGRATION

Migration is regarded as one of key themes in the African American artistic cultures. The way the Great Migration is treated is indicated in blues, spirituals, folktales, songs, literary texts, visual artworks and folktales, which being chosen and forced, has played a great role in shaping the nature of African American traditions. The movement was highly restricted in the antebellum era, since the slaves were not allowed to decide how or where they were to live and had to carry passes for them to be allowed to move beyond plantation boundaries. Even those who were free were limited when they tried to go past state boundaries. Even after the international trade of 1808 was abolished, there still existed a notable deal restricting domestic migration. These laws led to separation and forced dislocation for African Americans. Comment by Anjali Sojwal: Press tab to intent to start off a new paragraph Comment by Anjali Sojwal: Im not quite sure what this means, is there another way to say this? Also be very careful as this sentence is long. Consider making it 2 sentences instead

According to Rainey, Ma, the concept of Feminism matches the idea of worldwide theological movement called Liberation Theology, which is closely linked to Women’s Liberation (Walters 2005). This movement was focused to fight the major evils in the society during that time and claimed give a technique of doing what adds to incapacitating all human repression. Just like Liberation Theology together with Liberation Movement, the role of Femi9nism to strengthen oppressed women together with other twenty-nine subjugated and marginalized groups, religious and culture traditions very much and is reformist and revolutionary. The feminist movement distances a range between separatist approach-such as Mary Daly (1979)-and the feminist reformist, like Rosemary Radford-Reuther (1973:13) who promotes mutuality among genders. Comment by Anjali Sojwal: This seems like a whole separate topic, Be sure in your introduction that you explain how these ideas are connected or have a transition sentence at the end of the last paragraph. Comment by Anjali Sojwal: This is a big vague, what are some examples of the evils being fought?

Ralph Ellison’s Meta-Black Aesthetic and the “End” of African American Literature, is regarded as a race traitor, Transracial messiah and race man. Warren is reads the invisible man as being the typical example of a stress of African American literature who seek to declare black humanity to a discriminated society where that kind of humanity was questionable materially. Warren finds the novel being very strong reminder tool regarding this kind of humanity, but continues to wonder for how long these types of reminders will remain important. It is however important to his claim with seriousness, maybe Ellison’s novel particularly and the literature of African Americans does not really matter as it used to do. Comment by Anjali Sojwal: Needs more context to understand where this quote is coming from

During the Great Migration, gender has been noted to have very strong association with the common mental sicknesses and emotional health (Ritsner et al., 2001). In fact, gender being adaptable is an important notion which plays a central role in the results of all studies implementing mental health and migration. For example, throughout the novel violet is called violent because of her very hostile nature when faced with different challenges. “Violent they call they call her. No wonder” (Morrison: 75). In spite of this, Alice Manfred, Dorcas’s custodian, wonders about “the hysteria, the violence” (Morrison: 76). In the next chapter, the mental health challenges are elaborated referencing to the theory. Even if there exists informative and impressive literary criticism regarding jazz, Craps & Buelens, 2008; Harris, Morrison, Barbara, & P, 2005; Abel, 2012; Hua, 2012; Matus, 1998; Middleton, 2000; Peach, 1998; Tally, 2007) non-criticism occurs which concurrently addresses the interaction between mental health and the process of migration. To fully illustrate the existing gap in idea, critics of literature work were majorly focused on ethnic research (Peach, 1998), the Black diaspora (Middleton, 2000; Wyman, 2009), the Black feminism (Collines, 2008; Hua, 2012; O’Reilly, 2004), the Black Migration narrative (Griffin, 1996), historical trauma (Dobbs &Grewal, 1998), vis-á-vis Toni Morrison's Jazz. Comment by Anjali Sojwal: This fact seems unrelated to the previous sentence. How are gender being adaptable and gender being connected to mental illness related? Comment by Anjali Sojwal: Names should be capitalized Comment by Anjali Sojwal: Confused as to how jazz is related to the statement Comment by Anjali Sojwal: Cited incorrectly for in paper use

Most female character like Dorcas and Alice Manfred, Violet Trace are examples of migrant women who are concerned with stress and difficulty implications of migration.   Comment by Anjali Sojwal: If this is the thesis it should be in the introductory paragraph.

The main reason why most blacks left the south was due to work, lack of it, and opportunities. When cotton got destroyed by the Boll Weevil infestation between 1915 and 1920, there were jobs at the factories as a result of World War 1 and at the railroads in the North. More than 400,000 African Americans happened to migrate to the North from 1916 to9 1918. The Pennsylvania Railroad of 1916 assisted more than 10,000 Africa American to shift in search of employment. Comment by Anjali Sojwal: This seems to all be saying the same thing, maybe you can just say they left for work opportunities.

The rich and community talents in the city of New York assisted in initiating the Harlem Renaissance in the south in the 1920s, when the writers Zora Neale Hurston and Langston Hughes, Jacob Lawrence, p. Johnson, among others, acquired fame and gained recognition. In the urban south, the Africa Americans shifted to the southern metropolitan areas also. In the year 1920, such cities such as Birmingham, Houston, Atlanta, and Memphis ware faced with an increased population of the blacks.

Work cited

Ellison, Ralph. Invisible man. Penguin UK, 2016.

Lieb, Sandra R. Mother of the blues: A study of Ma Rainey. Univ of Massachusetts Press, 1981.

Widdowson, P. (2001). The American Dream Refashioned: History, Politics and Gender in Toni Morrison's Paradise. Journal of American Studies, 35(2), 313-335.