Argue for Reform

Assignment Debate feedback.

The use of data and evidence to support your position would have improved the quality of the paper. The easiest way would have been to point out the inadequacies and in-efficiencies of the current system, its poor impact on wellbeing levels, and criticisms of the Productivity Commission and Victorian Royal Commission. All that data and information can be research out .

I understand that on occasion you have citied at the end of the paragraph but you need to cite immediately when making definitive statements. On other occasions there was imply no citation.

 You have good clarity and expression of ideas in your writing  style.  Work on improving the flow of those ideas so they connect into a coherent narrative.