From: doctor8@jhuvms.hcf.jhu.edu (Jason Abner Miller)
Subject: Re: sex, uniforms, and good taste
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In article <1993Apr23.052741.28429@news.cs.brandeis.edu>, st902415@pip.cc.brandeis.edu writes...
>In article <1r6r9s$5ob@network.ucsd.edu>, king@cogsci.ucsd.edu (Jonathan King) writes:
>>Which reminds me yet again of a Bucs-Cards game in Whitey Herzog's
>>last year as Cards manager.  Karen and I were watching the game on TV,
>>and for some barely explicable reason the camera kept dwelling on The
>>White Rhino himself at his uniform-filling worst.  Truly horrible.

	Do you remember Game 7 of the 1988 NLCS, after the Dodgers defeated
the Mets, and Ugh-a-dugh foo-boo fat stomach Tom Lasorda came running out
on to the field in celebration?  YUCK!!!!!!
	He undulated.  His arms flew up and down, keeping time with his
rolling set of 9 stomachs, which flew all around the cozy confines of
Chavez Ravine.  He oozed, like a white gastropod.  He ran.  It was a 
disgusting sight.  Not only couldn't I watch my Mets in the Series, I had
to watch Fat Stomach Lasorda roll around Dodger....
	BLARGH!

>>But what made it memorable was what Karen eventually said about this,
>>which was:
>>
>>"I would rather sleep with a jar of Bill Landrum's spit under my pillow
>> than look at Whitey Herzog in one of those uniforms."

	"If you like short, fat men, who grunt, curse, and spit a lot,
Whitey's certainly your man" - Former WFAN host Pete Franklin, on The White
Rat ...
	But it's true, this emphasis on the appearance of ballplayers in
tight uniforms only works if the player actually has an extraodinary 
physique.  Looking at Charlie Hough's scrawny torso through those tight
white shirts just sort of makes me decide, "Hmmm, I don't want to eat lunch
today...or tomorrow...or anytime soon...".
	When Al Harazin first became Mets' GM, he was asked if he intended
to help redesign the Mets' uniforms and change their image.  In particular,
they asked him about the orange and blue racing stripe that runs down the 
sides the uniforms.  He said that he's very much in favor of keeping them
because "they're sleek and they're sexy".
	Sid Fernandez, in a tight-fitting uniform, with a sleek racing
stripe to denote speed and potencty.  Mmmmmmmm...lard.
	Kevin McReynolds, diving after a fly ball.  Mmmmmmmm...Man O' War, baby!
	Pat Howell....well, never mind.  Nothing could be tight on him. 
They don't make uniform sizes *that* small ... :-)

>Adam "Wishes he contribute something more interesting to r.s.b" Levin

Jason A. Miller
"some doctor guy"
Frank Tanana:  1-0, 1.50
