English 100 Final Draft
Chris Pool
ArgumentativeEssayRoughDraft.docxFernando 6
Sheehan Fernando
Professor Morrison
English 100
7 October 2017
Argumentative Essay
Are we willing to be watched like an animal through a cage? A market could be disorderly without market surveillance which may retard investment and prevent economic growth (Jowsey & Ian 2017). Although surveillance of consumers by retail anthropologists can be useful to gain insight on how the average consumers purchase products, there are numerous problems that come with it. When business operations are introduced to interfere with customer’s right, it should be discussed before being used by all stakeholders. This is to avoid situations where some customers feel like they have no right to privacy when selecting confidential items that do not need disclosure to others and other customers who feel there is no privacy as freedom of choice is being disclosed to the others. I support the claim that surveillance of consumers by retail anthropologists is manipulative and unethical. This paper will discuss three main points that make me support this claim. These points include; ease of access to goods and services, increased cost of operation and privacy in shopping.
Ease of access to goods and services
Goods should be placed in a strategic position where it would be easy for customers to pick on their own without much consultation. Therefore, surveillance can be avoided by placing the items strategically where the consumer can access them easily. This can also be easy if the seller understands the customer needs so that the right communication channels are used instead of using surveillance (Cunningham 2017). The goods that are most preferred should be positioned in the appropriate location. Easiness of accessing goods can also be made online. This can be done by creating a customer experience that will have consumers buying from you by providing a self-service option. According to Cunningham 2017, most customers claim to have the ability to solve most product or services issues on their own. Retailers should make it easy for customer to access the shopping cart or the final checking out area. Retailers should strategically position goods that are of quality, easy to use and reputable.
Increased cost of operations
Surveillance of customers is an extra duty and responsibility to the operations of the business. It is not necessary to expand business operation cost with activities that are redundant. Some retailers think that taking a tight budget for security reasons is the right way to go, but they see the use of surveillance system as the expenses they don’t want to accrue and choose to go with more economical way, but when resources and budgets are limited, choosing the high-end surveillance, survival may not appear like the best decision (Cunningham 2017). Retailers can avoid the cost of increased payments by ensuring the video surveillance is in consistence with applicable laws and public consultation that must precede any decision to introduce video surveillance and so on.
Privacy in shopping
Some customers may not be willing to get exposed on what they pick from the shelves since they may feel intimidated. For example, a lady may not want to expose what she buys for someone, say a boyfriend. Therefore, there is that feeling that shopping of some items is private and should not be interfered with. Majority of Americans sticks to their views about the importance of privacy in their daily activities. The feeling of believing that their information is being collected and who is doing the collecting, extends to their wishes that they be able to keep the privacy at their homes, when shopping or in social gatherings. Large numbers of American people have no confidence that their data will remain private and secure. It is only a small number of people that feel they have control over how much information is collected about them in their daily lives and how the information is used. Many people in shopping malls are forced to change their behavior to avoid being tracked. This can affect their buying behavior which in turn will affect their decision making (Liu et al 2016). There are other customers who cannot make right decisions when they are aware that they are being monitored. Some customers feel like they have no right of being left alone when selecting confidential items that do not need disclosure to others and other customers have contrary thoughts. It is best to ensure that everyone is comfortable and to get rid of customer surveillance.
Thesis statement
Although customer surveillance provides safety and information about customer habits, it increases the cost of operations while reducing profit maximization to business owners due to purchase, installation and personnel to monitor.
Conclusion
No one can argue that customer surveillance does not have any benefits. Surveillance can provide safety as well as insight to about the average consumer. However, it should not interfere with a customer’s privacy since some customers may not be willing to get exposed on what they pick from the shelves. If people respect privacy in most places, then why not respect it in the consumer setting. There is that feeling that shopping of some items is private and should not be interfered with. Most Americans stick to their views about the importance of privacy in their daily activities (Liu et al 2016). The feeling of believing that their information is being collected and who is doing the collecting extends to their wishes that they can keep the privacy at their homes, when shopping or social gathering. Customer surveillance is manipulative and unethical and should be stopped.
Student said about my essay
1. I like this because: I liked this because you provided other options other than surveillance of consumers. You stated that an option other than surveillance of consumers was to have easier access to high demand products in certain areas.
Base 1: Unity
Is there a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph? Yes, you have a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph. This helped me understand that you were against the use of surveillance on consumers.
Do all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis? Yes, all your supporting paragraphs back up your thesis because you have specific examples in them.
Your comments: I enjoyed reading your essay because you brought up good points on why surveillance of consumers is manipulative and unethical. I also enjoyed reading your essay because your brought up alternative methods in order to avoid surveillance on consumers. This was a great method because it shows that there are other alternatives rather than retailers relying on surveillance of consumers to help them understand how consumers shop.
Base 2: Support
Is there specific evidence? Yes, evidence was provided in each of your paragraph to support why surveillance of consumer is manipulative and unethical.
Is there plenty of it? Yes, you provided plenty of evidence in your essay.
Your comments: Your essay was very clear and organized. You provided specific evidence and alternative methods that retailers can use other than the use of surveillance. For example, you stated, “Surveillance of customers is an extra duty and responsibility to the operations of the business.” After your statement you explained and provided quotes to support your statement.
Base 3: Coherence Is there a clear method of organization? (List of items or a time order?)
Yes, throughout your essay your thoughts were clear and organized. You provided alternative methods but did not get side tracked with other random thoughts. You stayed true to your thoughts on why surveillance of consumers should not be used.
Are transitions used to connect sentences and ideas? Yes, you had a nice flow and clear thoughts throughout your essay. You stayed on topic and had a not transition from when you stated why surveillance of consumers should not be used and then to other options for retailers to use to better understand the thought process of consumers.
Your comments: I thought your essay was clear and very organized. From the start, you let the readers know what your stance and thoughts on surveillance of consumers was going to be. You also let the readers know what the rest of the essay was going to be about based on your thesis.
Base 4: Sentence Skills
Are there any rough spots where the sentences do not flow smoothly and clearly? No, I did not find any rough spots in your essay. You were very organized throughout your whole essay giving it a nice flow,
Are there any mistakes in grammar, punctuation, or usage? The only mistake I found was when you would provide a quote. For instance, you stated, “A market could be disorderly without market surveillance which may retard investment and prevent economic growth (Jowsey & Ian 2017).” You did not have any quotation marks to follow your work cited.
Your comment: I thought your essay was very organized. From the start of your essay you let the readers know what you were going to be talking about and your thoughts on surveillance on consumers. I enjoyed reading your essay because you brought up alternative ways that retailers can use other than relying on surveillance of consumers. Overall, your essay was clear and organized making it enjoyable to read.
Cunningham, Anne C. Drones, Surveillance and Target Killings. 2017
Jowsey, N& Ian, R. “Proactive Surveillance of contact allergies: an important component of the risk management strategy for skin sensitizers”. Contact dermatitis, vol 56, no6, 2017, pg. 305-310
Liu, Jingwen et al. “Customer behavior Recognition in Retail Store from Surveillance Camera.” 2015IEEE International Symposium on Multimedia(ISM), 2016
Market Surveillance
http://www.investopedia.com/terms/m/marketsurveillence.asp
Carroll, Buchholtz, et al. “Business and Society: Ethics, Sustainability, and Stakeholder Management”
“Consumer Action Issues and Positions.” Consumer Action, Smithsonian Institute, 2016,
https://www.consumer-action.org//publications/
