writing

A relevant quote was, “Robin Thicke got it wrong - there are no blurred lines when it comes to consensual sex. I think it is way past the time college students understand that” (Smith, 2014). I found the quote to match well with the material from this and last week’s lecture. First, it references the “Blurred Lines” song by Robin Thicke which is well known for its sexual message and provocative image. Second, it demonstrates the social subjection of women as sex objects. This idea that women are sexual objects can be seen as one of the reasons college campuses have become unsafe. There is a dysfunctional culture on college campuses that disregards a woman’s right to say “No.” The blurred lines reference is an analogy to how people still believe that “No means Yes,” when this is untrue. From my perspective, popular culture has lead to an increase in the subjection of women becuase of derogatory lyrics.

In Yarber's reading, there were several graphs displaying data collected on sexual assault and harassment on college campuses across the United States. For example, 14.4 percent of women were sexually assaulted under the influence of either alcohol or drugs (Yarber, 2019, pg. 514). This goes back to Smith’s “blurred lines” idea because a majority of these cases someone is unable to give verbal and consensual consent. I noticed that these graphs also incorporated data on both men and TGQN. In previous classes, the main focus as usually been on women and TGQN but information on men is not as available. Being able to see the comparison between the three groups was interesting and shocking at the same time. In many cases, people believe that strangers are more likely to assault someone, but according to the data, it is less likely. The reading goes into discussing how a majority of survivors are assaulted by people they know. 

From the Gottman Institute database, I read an article discussing how mindfulness is an essential skill in a relationship. Mindfulness was defined as, “the ever-unfolding compassionate, non-judgmental awareness of every moment” (Sanger, 2020). The article was very insightful in explaining how people who are in a relationship together can become so intuned to one another that they are quick to react during stressful situations. Sanger discusses how it is important to communicate and talk about issues, rather than, arguing over one another. He goes onto explain how a majority of issues between couples is not recognizing this mindfulness. Mindfulness is essentially a tool used to recognize your partner’s efforts and needs.

I think this can be especially relevant in couples who have families and if there is an imbalance of responsibility and roles. For example, mothers tend to have more responsibility than fathers. They take care of the family by doing more of the household chores and caring for the children. In this sense, mindfulness can be a tool in communicating how the work should be shared between parents and not pushed onto one person.