The Long-Answer Essay: Early Civilizations

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History | Writing a Long-Answer Essay, Part 1

Writing a Long-Answer Essay, Part 1

The Long-Answer Essay is one type of free response essay you will encounter on the College Board Exam (AP Test) for World History. It is important that you understand how it differs from the document-based essay and what will be expected of you.

Free-Response Essays on the AP World History Exam

The free response (essay) portion of the College Board Exam (AP Test) for World History consists of two essay questions:

document-based question (DBQ)

long-answer essay question

The free-response essay portion of the College Board Exam will count for 40 percent of the overall test score. The DBQ essay score accounts for 25 percent of the total exam score, and the long-answer essay score accounts for 15 percent of the total exam score.

You will have 90 total minutes to complete this section of the exam, 55 minutes for the DBQ essay and 35 minutes to complete one long-answer essay, which you choose from a pair of questions.

Free response essays that include a simple defensible thesis, organized body paragraphs that discuss relevant information and facts, and a strong, organized conclusion usually receive a high score. Free response essays generally require you to analyze, assess, and/or evaluate causes and effects of a particular historical subject. You should expect that the essay questions will be straightforward and address familiar historical topics.

The long-answer essay portion of the AP World History Exam is at the end of the test, after the multiple-choice questions, the short-answer essays, and the DBQ essay. You will be given 35 minutes to write the long-answer essay response. AP test graders are not looking for a single “correct” answer to the essay question. Rather, you should answer the questions as completely and logically as possible with facts and information from memory, based on what you learned throughout the online course.

The long-answer essay differs from the DBQ essay in several ways. A DBQ essay is written using primary and secondary historical documents that are provided as part of the test. There are no documents to read for the long-answer essay. Instead, you will be given a choice between two comparable long-essay options. Both will target the same skill, which varies from year to year, and will address different chronological periods and topics.

Long-answer essay questions are designed to assess one of four targeted skills: continuity and change over time, comparison, causation, and periodization. The long essay questions will measure your use of historical-thinking skills to explain and analyze significant issues in world history as defined by the thematic learning objectives.

As with the DBQ essay you will be required to develop a thesis or argument and support it with analysis and synthesis of specific relevant historical evidence.

Answering Essay Questions

When completing a free response essay, it is important that you completely answer the question as it is asked. One strategy is to underline the key terms, dates, and verbs in the question.

Here’s an example of underlining a question:

“Analyze the subject matter and style of modern art and how it reflected the political and intellectual concerns of the post-WWII period.”

Then you can refer back to the underlined portions of the question as you write your response to ensure you have addressed the entire question. You also need to be sure you understand what the question asks you to do. For instance, does the question ask for a chronological description, a geographical breakdown, or a topical analysis (economics, politics, cultures, etc.)?

The Test Development Committee uses standard essay-writing “prompt-tasks.” Free response prompts might ask you to analyze, assess or evaluate, describe or discuss, explain, identify, or tell to what extent. The following table gives a definition of each kind of prompt-task and an example of how it might be used in an essay question.

Action Word	Definition	Example
Analyze	Establish how something is put together, how and why its elements relate to one another.	“Analyze the subject matter and style of modern art and how it reflected the political and intellectual concerns of the post-WWII period.”
Assess or evaluate	Make a conclusion (not an opinion) about; weigh the pros and cons of; judge the value, success, or importance of.	“Assess the degree to which Napoleon I promoted the principles of the French Revolution.”
Describe or discuss	Provide an account of; consider the varying arguments and positions regarding.	“Discuss the impact of the unification of Italy and Germany on the European balance of power in the period 1871 to 1914.”
Explain	Demonstrate the connection between related things; clarify the cause, effects, or reasons for.	“Explain how absolutism was evident in the political, economic, and religious policies of France under Louis XIV, 1650–1715.”
Identify	Give the features of; point out events, causes, effect.	“Identify the issues raised by industrialization in Great Britain and the responses to those issues in the second half of the nineteenth century.”
To what extent	Make a judgment regarding the scope or degree of.	“To what extent did the Enlightenment employ the methods of the Scientific Revolution in addressing issues of social and political in the eighteenth century?”

Writing the Long-Answer Essay

Now you can practice writing a long-answer essay. Elements of an effective essay:

An introductory paragraph that clearly introduces the essay’s subject and has a thesis statement

Three body paragraphs with evidence that supports the essay thesis

A concluding paragraph that restates the thesis, sums up the main points, and gives some additional insight into the question being considered

This document will help you practice all components except the conclusion. For this practice, you will use the following essay question prompt, which targets your comparison skills:

Compare and contrast key characteristics of two early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the following: economy, political system, art and architecture, religion, technology, legacy.

A completed essay based on this question will be submitted by you as a graded assignment after completing the Long-Answer Essay 2 lesson.

Writing a Thesis Statement

Your thesis statement will clearly present the argument or stance you are taking in response to the prompt. It provides a concise overview of what is presented in the rest of the essay and directly answers the question or addresses the prompt. Your thesis statement should not simply restate the prompt. It is a statement that presents your particular stance on the topic and how you will address your argument. The rest of the information in your essay will support your thesis statement.

Before you write your thesis statement, you must think about the prompt. An outline or diagram can help you organize your thoughts and the examples you want to use in presenting your argument in the body of the essay. Look at the information you’ve outlined: What conclusion or argument can you make? Limit yourself to one sentence when answering this question. For this prompt—Compare and contrast key characteristics of two early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the following: economy, political system, art and architecture, religion, technology, legacy—the author might provide the following thesis statement:

Early river civilizations developed in modern-day Egypt, China, and the Middle East and represent the world’s first civilizations. Mesopotamian civilization emerged in present-day Iraq in the fourth millennium B.C.E., and the Shang civilization developed in present-day northeastern China around 1700 B.C.E. Both civilizations declined by 1000 B.C.E. These early river civilizations shared many similarities in their political, economic, and social systems but also exhibited certain differences.

Student Practice

Write a sample thesis in response to this prompt: Compare and contrast key characteristics of two early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the following: economy, political system, art and architecture, religion, technology, legacy.

Make sure your thesis statement addresses the prompt, takes a position, is specific and defensible, and can explain the how and why of the prompt.

Writing an Introductory Paragraph

Once you have your thesis statement clearly defined, along with supporting examples identified, you’re ready to draft your introductory paragraph.

A well-written essay should begin with a strong introductory paragraph. A good introduction has at least three, but generally more, logically ordered sentences. The introductory paragraph should clearly introduce the essay’s subject. In the case of a free response essay for the College Board Exam, you should clearly and completely address the essay question in the opening paragraph in very general terms.

The first sentence (or more) of a paragraph is called the topic sentence. The topic sentence of an introductory paragraph should not simply restate the essay question. Instead, the first sentence or two of the introduction should introduce the topic by providing some appropriate historical context. For example, you may want to discuss the century or dates that apply to the essay topic. The first sentences of an essay should hook or grab the reader’s interest, making him or her want to read the rest of the essay. You may want to begin with an interesting quote or by defining a term found in the essay question. For example, if the essay question is about the Renaissance, you might define the Renaissance as a rebirth of the ideas promoted in classical Greece and Rome. When you solidly establish the time period from the beginning, this shows the reader that you have a firm understanding of the essay topic. When composing a topic sentence, you should avoid philosophizing, moralizing, or wandering too far beyond the scope of the time period involved in the essay question.

After establishing the subject of the essay in the first one or two sentences, the next sentence should contain an organizational statement that introduces three topics that will be covered in the body paragraphs of the essay. This sentence can be strengthened by hinting at the supporting evidence or arguments you plan to make about the three topics. For this lesson, group the examples you developed during your brainstorming/ pre-writing exercise into three distinct groups. These will be the three focal points for your body paragraphs, discussed below. A solid organizational statement contains as much information or explanation as possible. Sometimes the organizational statement and the thesis statement will be combined in the same sentence.

The thesis statement, discussed above, is the most important sentence of the introductory paragraph and should appear at the end of your introductory paragraph. The thesis statement can be compared to a road map for the reader, because it explains to the reader exactly where the essay is going. A good thesis statement for a five-paragraph essay is focused, brief, and specific. In one sentence, you explain the position you will take throughout the essay. It is also important, especially for the essay portion of the College Board Exam, that the thesis statement thoroughly addresses the entire essay question. You will need a firm understanding of the essay topic in order to write a good thesis statement. Whenever possible, demonstrate your awareness of bigger picture historical issues by grounding your thesis statement within the appropriate historical context.

Student Practice

Write an introductory paragraph that addresses the following essay prompt: Compare and contrast key characteristics of two early civilizations (choose from Mesopotamian, Shang, Indus Valley, Chavin, and Phoenician) in terms of three of the following: economy, political system, art and architecture, religion, technology, legacy. Make sure that the introductory paragraph includes all three elements of an introduction.

Writing Body Paragraphs

After supplying focus and direction to an essay in the introductory paragraph, you then provide thesis-supporting details, examples, assertions, and evidence in the body paragraphs. This section will make up the bulk of a five-paragraph essay. While writing the body of an essay, you should constantly refer back to the thesis, making sure that all sentences relate to the thesis in some way. You should avoid storytelling or “data dumping” because both will draw attention away from the main point of the essay, or thesis. All essay questions on the AP World History Exam are designed to assess your understanding of historical themes and concepts. Graders are not simply testing your ability to recall multiple facts.

An effective body paragraph begins with a strong topic sentence that does more than simply restate the thesis or part of the organizational statement. For example, if you were asked an essay question about the Industrial Revolution in England, the topic sentence of the first body paragraph might focus on the economic factors that made Great Britain ideal for industrial innovation. In this case, the topic sentence would describe how and why the chosen economic factors helped Britain to industrialize. The topic sentence should capture the main role that economic factors played in industrialization. You should avoid simplistic statements such as, “Economic factors also helped Great Britain to industrialize.” Instead, a good topic sentence for this body paragraph might be, “Great Britain’s supportive economic institutions provided the capital it needed to industrialize.” This topic sentence provides focus for the rest of the body paragraph. Any examples or analysis that you may wish to include now has direction, and you should be able to avoid simply listing or describing various economic factors. You must provide direct similarities and differences in your body paragraphs.

When composing a body paragraph, you should continually establish connections between the examples or evidence and the topic sentence. When giving examples or evidence, you should provide commentary that explains why it is important, what it means, and how it relates to the thesis. It is important to select the strongest, most influential, and most representative evidence or examples for each factor or assertion. You should avoid simply listing all the proof, cases, or factors that you can think of. Including an unorganized or unexplained group of facts or examples will weaken your essay. Instead, you should incorporate only well-chosen examples that are clearly and explicitly connected to the topic sentence.

Returning to the previous example about industrialization in Britain, the central idea of the body paragraph is that “economic institutions provided capital for industry.” This central idea in the topic sentence would then be supported by evidence, for example: “England’s strong navy allowed it to establish new colonies and defeat rival powers. The trade that resulted from England’s colonial empire brought new profits that allowed entrepreneurs to finance industry back in the home country.” This supporting sentence provides three examples that are strongly related to the topic sentence: a strong navy, commercial empire, and financial institutions. Each body paragraph should contain two or three supporting examples for the paragraph’s argument. Again, remember that more is not always better. Examples that are explained well will reveal your command of the topic and your capacity for thesis development in an essay.

Finally, a good body paragraph ends with a summarizing sentence. This concluding sentence can serve as a transition to the next paragraph. An example of a summarizing sentence might be, “While these institutions were important, they would not even have existed without Britain’s favored geographic location.” This example sentence relates back to the topic sentence and at the same time, tells the reader that the next factor will be geographic location. As demonstrated with this example, transitional sentences lead the reader through an argument systematically by connecting the component parts and driving toward the argument’s conclusion. Vary the words that are used for transitions that connect one idea to the next. A student should alternate the use of words and phrases such as although, as a result of, moreover, in addition to, alternatively, further, as well, either, not to mention, for example, for instance, especially, notably, as an illustration, regarding, concerning, namely, however, in contrast, nevertheless, notwithstanding, given that, consequently, thus, and so on.

Student writers can use this simple paragraph structure to write stellar body paragraphs:

topic sentence

fact/example related to the topic sentence

commentary on the example

another fact/example

commentary

summarizing sentence

The previous paragraphs have discussed the elements that make up well-written body paragraphs. Below is an example of a body paragraph in a five-paragraph essay written by a student writer in response to the following prompt:

Compare and contrast how the First World War and its outcome affected two of the following regions: South Asia (Indian subcontinent), Middle East, East Asia in the period from the war through the 1930s.

The first sentence presents the topic sentence about the Indian subcontinent pursuing independence. The writer then presents a specific example about India’s efforts to gain independence from Britain by committing troops to the war. The example is backed up with specific facts and brief commentary. The second example focuses on efforts to unite the Indian National Congress and Muslim League to gain support for peaceful resistance. Like the first example, the writer supports this example with specific facts and discussion.

Similar to the Middle East, the Indian subcontinent pursued independence from the British. India committed soldiers in World War I to support the British cause. In total, 800,000 Indian troops fought in all the theaters of the war. Indian leaders in the Indian National Congress believed that pledging support for the British would sustain their hopes for greater autonomy after the war, as Australia, Canada, and New Zealand had acquired. After 1945, the Indians were dissatisfied with their subjugation to British authority as were the Arabs after the British signed the Balfour Declaration that favored a Jewish homeland in Palestine. The Indian National Congress and Muslim League tried to set aside their differences in an effort to gain independence. The Congress adopted the policies of nonviolence led by Mohandas Gandhi; and several campaigns of civil resistance ensued. In an act of peaceful protest against high salt taxes, Indians marched to the sea to access their own salt. After demonstrations and clashes, the British eventually made some concessions in the Government of India Act, which allowed 5 million Indians to vote and created a new parliament populated, in part, by Indians.

Student Practice

Write three body paragraphs that address the following essay prompt:

Make sure that the body paragraphs include all the elements described in the body paragraph section of the narrative. Clearly identify the start of each paragraph by indenting the first line of each paragraph or skipping lines between each paragraph.

Summary

The ability to construct a well-written, organized, and logically argued essay is an important skill. You have practiced writing portions of a basic five-paragraph historical essay. When taking the College Board Exam (AP Test) for World History, you will be required to answer one long-answer essay. When completing a free response essay, it is important that you completely answer the question as it is asked.

In the long-answer essay, you may see any of the following standard essay-writing “prompt-tasks”: analyze, assess or evaluate, describe or discuss, explain, identify, or tell to what extent. A solidly constructed and ordered essay includes an introductory paragraph that clearly introduces the essay’s subject and has a thesis statement, three body paragraphs with evidence that supports the essay thesis, and a concluding paragraph, which reiterates the thesis, sums up the main points, and gives some additional insight into the question being considered.