Answer the Questions then response to post 1 and 2

Answer the Questions then response to post 1 and 2

Which of the tips did you find the most helpful? Which resonated the most with you, and why?

Post 1

Upon reading the article all of the listings resonated with me, reasons being is that I have experienced significant losses in my life, and I have had individuals who did not know how to be “there” for me and said and did some things I did not agree with. I don’t believe that the individual meant any harm its just people do not what to say or do when someone is grieving so I believe that tips provided will help not only me, but other individuals to be more aware of the person who is grieving.

Post 2

The article 11 ways to grieve made some very good points and the 11 suggestions/tips were excellent ones. To me the one I think is best and hits home with me is being able to listen rather than talk. Generally people as a whole prefer to talk rather than listen but a good listener when one is in grief is so nice to have. A friend whom can offer this in ones time of need is a dear friend indeed and a wonderful supporter. If more people knew these tips and gave them some thought I think they could be more effective during the grief period and success would be more attainable to the masses who help them feel better about the losses they have had to live through. 

Answer the Questions then response to post 1 and 2

If you have experienced the loss of a close one, in what ways does this article resonate with you? What could we do, as a society to better accommodate people as they move through the grieving process?

Post 1

I lost my grandpa on October 21, 2017.  We were at my grandparents house for every holiday.   One of the four tasks of mourning resonated with me.  When the author spoke about assuming a new role, I instantly thought of my grandmother.   She didn't want anyone to come over (except her daughters) for any holiday.  Her daughter's have stepped up and have had holidays at their houses.  My grandma recently started to want more people to stop by to visit but she still has not had any holidays at her house since my grandpa passed away.  

Post 2

In October of 2015 I lost a good friend due to a car accident. Our school wasn't very big and everyone was affected by it. This article resonates with me because I feel that a lot of the student body tried to help friends that were close with her, but didn't know how. It was very frustrating to watch individuals reach out and then all of a sudden turn the situation onto themselves and talk about the one time they passed her in the hall. It was so frustrating to watch them make it about themselves, sure we were all grieving as a class, but you can't do those things when you are talking to her best friend or boyfriend. I found myself struggle when trying to talk to one of her best friends after the accident and trying to find the right words, however I never started talking about the times I had with her because in that moment it wasn't about me. I think as a society when something happens like that things like this article should be around for students to read. It can give students and teachers a better idea on how to help certain individuals grieve. It would have been great if students were more aware of some of these tips because then they could have found some of the right things to say or just listening instead of talking.

Answer the Questions then response to post 1 and 2

Watch this short video about funeral contractors in Ghana. What do you think the contractor means when she says that if she is not at the funeral, things won't go well for mourners? Connect your answer to the concepts from the readings this week about grieving. She also says, "It is a normal thing. We all die one day." How does that statement compare with the way we typical talk about death and dying in modern Western societies? In this short clip, what similarities and differences did you observe between a funeral in Ghana and one in the US?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=8&v=mr6zm6HIXFg

Post 1

The video shows a large funeral in Africa they interview a lady who is a widower and now works as a funeral contractor. These funeral contractors help the families handle the grief and loss of a loved one by crying for relatives that do not know how to cry and need there support. If these contractors were not at those funerals things would not go well and it would be bad for the family members of the loved ones lost. The comment that we will all die one day and it’s a normal thing suggested that they (the funeral contractors) understand death and the grieving process better than us and by discussing it more openly don’t fear death or sickness as we do in the United States. The video clip certainly gave another look at how death effects people and those who try to help them grieve.

Post 2

When the funeral contractor stated that if she is not at the funeral things won't go well for mourners she was ultimately saying that she is their biggest support. She attends the funerals to support loved ones and help with the grieving processes. She even grieves for those who haven't grieved yet. When she stated, "It is a normal thing. We all die one day." She understands that it is bound to happen to everyone and she is not scared. She is welcoming the processes because she has been around it so much in her country. In the U.S. most of us ultimately fear death and the trauma that may come with it. Most of the time we do not except that we will all die some day and we just chose not to believe it. In Ghana the funerals seemed more like a celebration with dancing, and upbeat music. They also grieve with loud sobbing all together. Our funerals typically do not have that much commotion as we usually stay seated and grieve in silence. There is no upbeat music to dance to and we usually grieve on our own rather than with a stranger or "funeral contractor". 

Answer the Questions then response to post 1 and 2

Notice that under the article title it reads "An Exchange." This is an exchange between the two authors, so part is written by Orr and part Meilaender. What is Orr's argument or position? Meilaender's? Which perspective is more compelling to you? Why?

Post 1

After reading the article clearly both doctors had a point of view and strong feelings on the subject of life's ending and the ethics around it. I don't feel either doctor was right or wrong in there feelings or findings mostly because every case, every situation and every death is really different so there is no easy way to handle the treatment needed for the loved one and there condition.

I think this article makes one think about what both Doctors are saying and why they feel the way they do. I'm of the thought that you only get one life and that you should try any means necessary to continue to live.  I think Dr. Mellaenders point of view is most like that of mine own.

If my family does the best they can to use good ethics when deciding my life's ending then that is all I can ask for I ask for their help and god's.

Post 2

Orr and Meilaender have two different perspectives in the article. Orr talks mostly about his opinion about feeding tubes.  He believed people should die naturally without any machines. He wants people to withhold from using feeding tubes that way they die naturally. He says just because we have the ability to keep someone alive  doesn’t mean we have to do it. 

 

Meliander believes if it’s necessary and will be beneficial to the patient you should  use feeding tubes. He does now want caregiver to withhold the treatment because it could potentially save their life.  He wants caregiver’s a to do all they can do to keep the patient living unless it becomes too hard on the patient. 

 

Before reading this I always thought doctors and families should do whatever it takes to keep them alive as long as possible. However, I think Orr perspective is more compelling to me.  He gives a lot of good points about machines, and makes me want loved ones and myself  to die naturally. I do not want to be relying on machines for my last moments of my life. 

Response to these posts

Post 1

I have personally seen people with diseases such as Alzheimer's dementia and know what this horrible disease does to a person. With that being said, as a family member of a person battling this disease I would want them to be as comfortable as possible when death becomes apparent. If that means taking out the feeding tubes, then I would have no problem making that decision. Seeing a family member dying is something this is terribly hard to take in, but seeing a family member die connected to multiple tubes and machines makes the process seem much worse. As for myself, if the time came where there was no possible way that I would regain a conscious and functioning lifestyle, I would want my family to no longer allow for any extraordinary measures. Like I said before, seeing a family member die is hard enough, therefore I wouldn't want my family to see me in my last moments in such a way. This article opened my eyes to many other opinions and facts about a topic that I have thought about before. It didn't change my mind about how I feel about end of life care, more or less made me more aware of how I feel about the topic. 

Post 2

If there was no chance of survival or if my loved one would have to live in a vegetated state the rest of their lives I would unhook everything and let them go in piece. It would be hard, but it would be even harder to watch them be hooked up to machines and suffering. The technology we now have is so amazing and the fact that it can keep someone alive is even more amazing, but I have watched a loved one be hooked up to machines breathing for them and its extremely hard to watch. They don't look comfortable and the sounds these machines make can even make family members uneasy. I would want everyone to be able to say their goodbyes in a more peaceful setting without the scary machines and I would want my family member or myself to go peacefully and quietly. This article did, however, open my eyes to a new perspective. The perspective is "it is better to withhold a treatment then withdrawal" and I never thought of end of life this way. I think if my grandparents lived to be in their 90s and they were diagnosed with kidney failure I would withhold the treatment because first off their bodies probably couldn't take it and second it's better to let the disease take them than maybe having to stop the treatment later on and by stopping it thats what takes them. However then I feel if A younger family member was in a car accident and life support was keeping them alive I would totally utilize that until there is no chance of survival. That way I could say I tried everything. This article really opened my eyes to both perspectives, but overall I don't  think I would keep the machines running if there was no hope.