Unit 3: Major Writing Assignment 3

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annotated-Unit20220Major20Writing20Assignment202.docx.pdf

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Roderick Hooks

EN 105: Major Writing Assignment 2

September 6, 2019

The purpose of this writing assignment is to explain to the audience the difficulties of

switching from the language of my job in the United States Army to the language I use now in

the civilian sector. There are many difficulties switching lanaguages and being able to explain

those difficulities is an honor. The challegnes I face while writing this essay is trying to

encompass all the difference and challenges within this assignment. Possessing the ability to

adapt quickly from the two langauages is a absolute requirement. I hope to recevieve feedback to

help improve my essay, writing ability, and for my instructor to fully understand my description

of the two languages.

Lonelle Rathje
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Edit carefully. Try downloading Grammarly. Works well for online typing and Word documents.

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Roderick Hooks

EN 105: Major Writing Assignment 2

September 6, 2019

“Sorry, I don’t understand”

Sorry, I don’t understand is a common phrase I hear when trying to explain situations in the

civilian sector, mainly because of the difficulties of switching languages. Serving in the Army allowed me

to learn its unique language, which includes a plethora of acronyms, and small phrases in which

everyone understands, for example the word “tracking” is used by Soldiers to relay to anyone that we

understand whatever they’re talking about. Transitioning from the Military to a Civilian was hard to

overcome, at times I would have to recite what I wanted to say in my head, and then civilianize it as

much as I can, so I can be properly understood.

Veterans have a tough time switching languages going into the civilian sector, from completely

reformatting our resumes and replacing any Military verbiage with it’s civilian meaning, and then when

speaking in a conference or just a meeting, the way a veteran explains a situation is more talored

towoards a mission, for example I was briefing or having a meeting with my team, and I had to discuss

the overall projections of productiviity. This was the first time a language barrier was present at my

current job, my meeting was well planned and organized but usage of phrases such as “get with your

leadership so they can relay a plan of action” had to be rephrased to “get with your supervisor if you

have any questions” . I have a few member of my team that are also members of the veteran

community, that understand me when I speak or relay any information, but just like over 80% of the

associates don’t understand me, they also don’t understand the few in my community.

Lonelle Rathje
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You have run-on sentences here. RE: ...understands. For example,
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Thesis Statement: What is the main message you want your audience to walk away with after reading this essay. It should be clear in this thesis statement sentence. The thesis statement is typically a sentence of 25 words or less that is placed at the end of your introduction paragraph. It always notes two items: your topic and point of view. Do you feel your thesis statement is clear and specific about the purpose of your writing? Does it have both a specific topic and a specific point of view?
Lonelle Rathje
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Capitalize the start of quotations.
Lonelle Rathje
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MLA essay design: Design all assignment submissions according to MLA guidelines. Your EasyWriter text and the sample MLA essay in Announcements, in your classroom, show you how the document should be designed. There is a specific MLA design for the title page, body of the paper and the Works Cited page.
Lonelle Rathje
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Lowercase = military, civilian
Lonelle Rathje
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Avoid "packing" so much into a sentence. Focus on one key point per sentence. This is also a run-on sentence. Will not mark throughout.
Lonelle Rathje
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"Sorry, I don't understand" is ...
Lonelle Rathje
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Run-on sentences. RE: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl_exercises/sentence_structure/sentence_structure/run_ons_comma_splices_and_fused_sentences.html
Lonelle Rathje
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Concise = when explaining ...

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My communtiy use a unique concept that most civilians arent exposed to. Some of us are self

explanotory while others are very cyrtic, but each have a specific and important meaning. The language

my communtiy uses is a biproduct of how we are trained and how we effectiviely communicate to each

other. I feel the civilian sector doesn’t quite understand that we as a community are trained 24/7 for

years upon years on how to communciate, so when we transition it should be more of a open are

welcome rather than having us change the way that makes us who we are. Some common

misudersatanding include not hiring one of us because of the perceived disconnect between us,

normally thinking we are strict and walk around yelling our military language. The sterotyping is very

real and needs to end, because the veteran communtiy are willing to change the way we communicate,

because we are trained to adapt and communicate to achieve a common goal, so by allowing us to be

us will improve the transition of the two languages.

My communtity values communciation a lot, without communication we feel lost and betrayed,

because we must know whats going on at all times. When communicating we like to use less words with

more meaning to limit the time of talking to increase the time of action. Ludwig Wittgenstein quote “

the limits of my language mean the limits of my world” really touched me deep because I felt the same

at one point. When he stated this he meant that outside of what he could understand in regards to his

language, is the limit to his understanding, for example is what he knows is what he knows, nothing else.

His statement really had myself exploring more outside of my language to really prepare myself for the

civilian world, so I wouldn’t find myself in the limits of my language.

Overall, the language barrier between the civilian sector and military has been a challenge, but

they both have their similarities when it comes to basic communication, but the key is to ensure your

way of relaying any information would be well received by the other community, don’t every assume

that they understand what you’re referring to or you will be in for a surprise.

Lonelle Rathje
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Contractions have apostrophes.
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Topic sentences: Continue working to ensure that the first sentence of a body paragraph, between your introduction and conclusion paragraphs, summarizes the one main point of the paragraph. Be very specific in that sentence. Do not use a quote for this or a question. It is also good practice to do the same in the last sentence of the body paragraph, while also working to transition to the next body paragraph topic. Revisit your approach throughout. Body paragraphs: Do you feel they stay true to one key point each? Do each of those points illustrate and prove you’re the overall message/purpose of your essay? Revisit your approach throughout.
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Conclusion: Ensure you summarize the one key point of each of your body paragraphs, restate your thesis statement in some manner and end on a memorable note. In other words, what is it that you ultimately want your audience to do or believe?
Lonelle Rathje
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Overall, good start to this, Roderick. I gave you one example of each item to reconsider throughout this essay and moving forward. I encourage you to work with the writing tutors before you submit to me for a grade, as well as download Grammarly. Please let me know if you have any questions. :)
Lonelle Rathje
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Do not end sentences with prepositions. Look up the list and avoid them at the end. RE: ...concept in which most civilians are not exposed.
Lonelle Rathje
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Edit carefully = community uses

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