Capstone Draft Submission #1

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annotated-ManagingDepressioninMinnesotaWalk20draft.docx1.pdf

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Managing Depression in Minnesota Walk-in Counseling

Ciatta Kollie

Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
For your 2nd submission, please go back to the template and plug your info in there. This format is not the format the school wants you to use.
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
No page numbers on our title page.

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Managing Depression in Minnesota Walk-in Counseling

Depression is a prevalent psychological disorder that affects people of different ages.

Statistical evidence indicates that over two hundred and eighty people worldwide have been

diagnosed with the condition (Daly et al., 2021). In the U. S, it affects over eighteen million

adults every year, making it the cause of the highest number of incapacitations in the country.

Depression is a significant problem in Minnesota County. Analysis of the data compiled from the

state shows that over 24% of the adults living in the region have the condition (Mental Health

Minnesota, n. d.). Further investigation revealed that the prevalence of the disorder varies in

different ethnicities, with the African Americans reporting the highest cases of the ailment (Daly

et al., 2021). The high prevalence of depression in the country and the state necessitates the

determination of effective determination that can manage the condition effectively and control its

negative impacts. One of them is the stigmatization of those affected, an issue that has negatively

impacted access to treatment.

Minnesota Walk-in Counseling Agency is an agency that offers counseling services to

individuals from all walks of life, irrespective of their social status, gender, or ethnic inclination.

One condition that clients present with in the organization frequently is depression. Therefore,

the agency must identify an effective intervention to ensure that the condition is managed

effectively (Daly et al., 2021). The research question that will be used to investigate a selected

intervention's efficacy is: How effective is cognitive behavioral therapy in reducing episodes of

depression among African American clients in the Minnesota Walk-in Agency? It will be used to

study and document data confirming whether the intervention effectively controls depression,

especially in African Americans most affected by it.

Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
Minnesota County?
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
Whats another way this could be said without using the same word twice in just a matter of 4 words?
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
Lets use the word "all". Different makes it seem like there are specific ages people can experience depression, vs it being an experience that can affect all of us.
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
Something about this word made me pause. I googled its meaning and its official meaning is "illness, typically a minor one." Do you feel that definition is accurate for depression? I do want to point out that this sentence is really powerful and really highlights why your topic is so important.
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
This is another word that gave me pause out of uncertainty that it was used correctly. The definition of inclination is: a person's natural tendency or urge to act or feel in a particular way; a disposition or propensity. Do you think this can be used to describe ethnic identities?
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
I think we need a comma after state.

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Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a psychotherapeutic intervention that focuses on

helping individuals identify distortions in their thoughts and determine how to rectify them. The

intervention is selected because it helps clients develop a positive demeanor that helps them cope

with situations surrounding them more constructively (Gautam et al., 2021). For example, the

concepts used during CBT sessions allow individuals to control their emotional responses more

positively. Therefore, the chances of their eliciting negative emotions such as anger reduce. As a

result, they can cope with challenges such as grief, pain, and ailments more effectively. Another

reason for choosing the intervention is its ability to help clients communicate effectively

(Gautam et al., 2021). The intervention encourages individuals to talk about their experiences,

improving their ability to express their thoughts and feelings eloquently.

Determining an effective intervention in treating depression is significant to social

workers and the social work profession because it will give the professionals the chance to

advocate for the wellbeing of the people with the condition by highlighting an approach that can

be used to care for patients with the disorder effectively. It will also ensure that the profession

fulfills its role of ensuring that the masses have optimal health.

Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
Can you rephrase this sentence? I am not sure if its meaning. The location of "their" is making me get hung up. Are you trying to say "therefore, negative emotions, such as anger, are reduced." ??
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
Your final sentence is your thesis statement. A Thesis statement should essentially summarize your paper and be able to stand alone. I dont think this accomplishes that. We are really missing a conclusion to your introduction. Take everything you just wrote about and summarize it in an more condensed version. You have a VERY natural flow to your paper, so I would recommend adding to your introduction, but I would be remiss if I didnt point out that your 2nd paragraph really mirrors what I am looking for to wrap up this introduction. You could try moving it around and seeing if you still have that flow.
Emily Johnson
158630000000012597
This sentence and the previous 3 sentences all start with a "qualifier". For example, Therefore, As a result, and now "another." Would you consider reducing or eliminating these qualifiers to have a paper that reads more concrete or affirmative?

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References

Daly, M., Sutin, A. R., & Robinson, E. (2021). Depression reported by US adults in 2017–2018

and March and April 2020. Journal of affective disorders, 278, 131-135.

Gautam, M., Tripathi, A., Deshmukh, D., & Gaur, M. (2020). Cognitive behavioral therapy for

depression. Indian journal of psychiatry, 62(Suppl 2), S223.

Mental Health Minnesota (n. d.). Common Mental Diagnoses. Retrieved from

https://mentalhealthmn.org/resources/common-mental-health-diagnoses/