Psychology 4-MAT Assignment: Deal Review Assignment

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment 1

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment

Treylesia Alston

Liberty University

DBFA 610

Dr.Heck

January 28,2024

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment 2

Summary

In his book "Helping Children Survive Divorce: In the book, “What to Expect, How

Help”, Dr. Archibald Hart investigates what happens during divorce that results in kids’

overwhelming feelings of anger. The author argues that almost all children who were divorced

will hate, which is a emotion of not achieved the life purpose because their parents’ divorce

them. When a parent is extremely dangerous due to personality problems, alcoholism, mental

health concerns or criminal history; children may find comfort in being away from their parents

but also feel torn about the decision. Dr Hart introduces the concept of repressed rage that is

ignored and usually manifests in passive-aggressive behaviors. He highlights the fact that even

low-profile outbursts of anger may have much more serious long-term value after all, than

overtly aggressive actions themselves.

Moreover, the author emphasizes that anger should be controlled properly and warns

against two extremes – frequent outbursts of rage and passive-aggressive behavior. Founded on a

firm conviction that no one should take out his frustration against others, Dr. Hart proposes the

basics of counseling as described in scripture. He claims that the role of parents is to teach their

children how to choose healthy ways of dealing with anger and not allow this emotion turn into a

negative lifestyle. By showing how children react to divorce, the book delivers clear answers and

a high-level insight into diverse symptoms that emotional pain may take in different

individuals. Additionally, the authors depict the manner in which kids would respond when the

experience divorce among their parents.

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment 3

Concrete Responses

The moving stories in this book struck a deep chord with me personally regarding a

personal incident that happened when I was a teenager. Permit me to be candid and describe a

time that this book vividly brought to my attention. My world was rocked to its core when my

parents chose to Split up. Although they had never been married, they were together since they

were 14 years old. Like the 12-year-old Steven in the book, I was overcome by a feeling of

enormous ignorance and perplexity. I was left with mental anguish that was difficult for me to

understand after receiving the news, which struck me like a tidal wave. Like Steven's mother, my

mother realized how much it was hurting me as things at home got worse. She went to a

professional in a frantic attempt to make sense of the turbulent sea of emotions in our home. I

remember the uncomfortable car drives to therapy appointments very clearly, feeling both

uncomfortable and hopeful that someone could somehow make sense of the chaos that was

disintegrating in my life.

The story of Mary, a seven-year-old who is struggling with her parents' divorce, echoed

the book's description of youngsters externalizing their inner difficulties. Mary's behavioral shifts

were similar to what I had gone through; oppositional tendencies were a coping strategy for me.

The sorrow and confusion showed up as accusations, much to Mary blaming her mother for the

disintegration of the family. Thinking back to my own experience, the book did a great job of

capturing the wide range of feelings that kids experience during the difficult time following a

split. It took me back to the times when, like Steven, my emotional turmoil progressed from silly

jokes to more severe conduct (Caksen, 2021). The discoveries in the book are supported by these

intimate ties, which serve as lived realities as well as detached views. Through my experience,

the book not only shed light on the various ways that kids communicate their emotional pain, but

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment 4

it also served as a painful reminder for caregivers—parents, teachers, and other adults—to

recognize and address the particular difficulties that kids encounter when their parents split.

Reflection

As I read through Dr. Archibald Hart's analysis of respect in marriages, it prompted a

wave of inquiries and reflections in me. The question of "What specific strategies can couples

employ to cultivate and maintain respect in the intricate dance of marriage?" emerged as one of

the most pressing inquiries. However, this book argues that respect and appreciation of the other

person is an extremely important factor in building a great partnership which made me start to

think about what specific actions people could actually do locally to develop these features

within their relationships. In addition, I couldn’t help but think of the analogy that Dr. Hart

makes between the challenges of changing behavioral patterns deeply rooted and those needed to

redefine marital relations. It made me ask the question, “As realistic is this comparison and what

practical steps can couples take to guide them through the process of changing long-standing

routines as part of their relationship?” I found my focus turning towards getting more

information about that.

As a result of the contemplation, I studied whether my personal experiences were in line

with Dr. Hart’s results. His claim that marital problems are as a result of lack respect and

appreciation provided me with the question on whether I agree or disagree. This introspection

made me reconsider my beliefs concerning what constitutes a good marriage and whether respect

indeed is the most crucial factor in this. The reflection also raised a broader issue concerning

how other cultural and socioeconomic factors add to the problems marriage couples even face in

keeping respect between them. I became interested in the thought of seeking academic resources

to widen my knowledge about social impact on marital relationships and enrich views with a bit

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment 5

more scholarly flavor. To put it another way, this investigation not only raised concerns about

particular methods of fostering respect, but it also made me reflect on my own views and make

me want to learn more about the academic literature on marriage. Moreover, there is need for me

to have a thorough understanding of this reflective process to aid in effectively understanding the

intricate nature of bringing back respect in relationships.

Application

The book, titled “Helping Children Survive Divorce: What to Expect, How to Help,” by

Dr. Archibald Hart provides unique perspective and as a result, has changed my viewpoint

concerning human development. The focus on encouraging candid dialogue, especially in the

family, has inspired me to make open communication a top priority in my own relationships.

Understanding how important it is for everyone to be able to express their feelings, I want to

foster an atmosphere that values communication, empathy, and emotional expression. This

deliberate choice is intended to improve the mental health of kids as well as those in my close

social circles, as the book emphasizes. I completely agree with the book's defense of biblical

values against acts of violence. Thinking about this, I feel obligated to teach these values,

especially encouraging peaceful coexistence and discouraging retaliation, to my own family. I

see the significance of instilling in children the values that uphold non-violence and empathy,

given the potential obstacles they may encounter during a divorce. This is consistent with the

New Testament's teachings, which emphasize forgiving others and creating a climate of

tolerance.

The chapter's real-world case studies, like Steven and Mary's, provide concrete examples

of the difficulties kids may face both during and after a divorce. As a result, I am inspired to

learn more about the various ways kids deal with anger and frustration. This realization forces

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment 6

me to be more understanding and accommodating in both my personal and professional

relationships, particularly with kids who could be adjusting to the difficulties of divorce.

Furthermore, I acknowledge that these results have real-world applications for practitioners in

the sector, such counselors and teachers. I intend to use these findings to my own professional

job, tailoring interventions according to each person's response. This involves establishing a

nurturing atmosphere that encourages effective coping mechanisms and psychological fortitude

in those confronting the difficulties associated with divorce (Garriga & Pennoni, 2022). To sum

up, I will apply what I've learned from Chapter 8 by committing to honest communication,

teaching biblical values that encourage non-violence, and being more conscious of the many

coping mechanisms that kids use. These behaviors are essential to my own development and fit

with my commitment to fostering an environment of empathy and understanding for both myself

and people around me. This demonstrates the significance of application in determining an

individual's personal development.

4-Mat Paper: Hart Review Assignment 7

References

Caksen, H. (2021). The effects of parental divorce on children. Psychiatriki, 33, 81-82.

Dobson, J. C. (2010). Love must be tough: New hope for marriages in crisis. Tyndale House

Publishers, Inc.

Hart, A. (1997). for Helping Children Survive Divorce: What to Expect, How to Help.

Garriga, A., & Pennoni, F. (2022). The causal effects of parental divorce and parental temporary

separation on children’s cognitive abilities and psychological well-being according to

parental relationship quality. Social Indicators Research, 161(2-3), 963-987.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11205-020-02428-2