for anyone

Your respective essays continue to need work. I have no idea what your main points of emphasis are supposed to be in your first essay, on The Development of Modern Asia and Africa, for this 3rd Research Module.

I highly recommend that you go back and review the guidelines for the assignment. Then, choose some of the websites for this topic, truly read them over in a careful manner, and use that information to offer solid general historical content coverage and insight.

You should also use the brainstorming questions in the assignment handout to step by step guide your essay writing process points of emphasis:

Does the historical topic seem transformative and if so or not what is your explanation for why or why not?

Who are some of the key historical figures of the historical topic's time period and what were their major impacts?

What were the biggest events of the historical topic's era of time and how would you explain the significance of them?

Would this be a historical topic that you would have liked to experience in person and what is your basis for

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why or why not?

What are great positives and or negatives that developed during this historical topic's era and what is your basis for these choices?

You also need to continue to improve your grammar and editorial quality and this stuff needs to be improved in your 1st and 2nd essay.

However, your 2nd essay also needs to be revised from a content standpoint. As with the first essay, I honestly do not see a coherrent set of observations of the main events, key figures, and themes from the historical period of the American Revolution.

I have placed, in the bottom portion of this feedback, a past sample essay from another topic, that of a brief research on Ancient Egypt, that demonstrates the proper type of approach you should take on these research essays. You can use this as a model to better shape your own essays on these and other upcoming topics.

ANCIENT EGYPTIAN HISTORY

http://www.ushistory.org/civ/3b.asp

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http://www.ushistory.org/civ/3f.asp

https://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/anbd/hd_anbd.ht m

Ancient Egyptian society was very much like our society today. They had a person that was above all else, called a Pharaoh. The Pharaoh was the ruler of all, and the Egyptians believed their Pharaoh's to be holy. Then you had those who worked closely in the government, as well as the soldiers who fought in war. Society trickled down all the way to those enslaved and those who were servants. The people who were enslaved were at the bottom of the barrel. They were poor and treated inadequately, as they were often subject to working on building structures such as the pyramids. A surprising fact about Ancient Egyptian history is that women were treated equally. They had the same basic rights as men did, and you did not see this often in other cultures in history. They could own property, be in the company of men, and even divorce and remarry if they chose to do so. There were several rulers of Egypt who were women, including Nefertiti and Hatshepsut. A practice of Pharaohs was that they often chose their spouses within the royal family, which means that they were

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often related to one another. If you look back in history, you will see that Hatshepsut's spouse was actually her half brother. Cleopatra is the most famous of female Egyptian rulers. She became ruler as a teen, battled many assassination attempts, as well as having several children. She regained her throne with the help of Julius Cesar. Ancient Egyptian society was advanced for the time period in which it existed. Not only did they build elaborate tombs and structures, but there are also depictions of simple things like partaking in board games. These board games would not be anything like what we see today, however, board games were popular among all social classes in Ancient Egyptian society.

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