interview paper 10 pages

The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or in a prescribed order. The relationships we have with celebrities may not necessarily follow typically understood measures of time and space, making them seem subconsciously immortal to us in a sense; they don’t age with us. When Michael Jackson died, it seemed that there would never be a day that could even happen. I can tell you exactly where I was and what I literally was wearing the day the news headlines broke stating he was no longer with us. Mourning the loss of someone you don’t know but feel connected to looks a lot like mourning any other loss. Of course, in 2020, you log onto all of the social media outlets and someone posted on their Facebook page yesterday, “I guess celebrity deaths make me feel like almost nothing is left from my childhood/youth…”. Because of today’s popular social media platforms, we have access to the most intimate details of people’s lives. We can see pictures of them at any time we want to and can read their own thoughts in their public posts. The accessibility makes us feel like we have a personal relationship with them. In other words, we identify with them, so we have a bond and grieve when they pass away. A common thing people often comment when an artist, actor, or musician die is “well at least the world still has all of their work”. Even in the sense that this is true, and these works of art, music, or political action are often what has touched us about celebs, having their existing works doesn’t mean there isn’t a deep sense of loss that they will never create anything new. We could hear a new song, or read a new book or poem, see a new movie, or go to another concert. We can simultaneously feel grateful for the works that exist while grieving the loss of their potential future works.

I find it interesting the things that connect us to these people we idolize so much, the sport they played so well, the songs that made us feel that one indescribable feeling, or even the way their untimely death came. We may actually connect with the way a celebrity died. Whether it was an illness like cancer, a suicide that we did (or didn’t) see coming, an accidental overdose, car accident or any other type of death, this can hit a nerve. It may be because we have struggled with the same thing, or it may be because we lost someone in the same way. In reality, we don’t actually know celebrities, but we know celebrities. They have become a normal part of our lives, in the shows and movies we love, creating the music that defines moments in our lives, creating art and writing we love. We have spent years seeing them grow and change and, in some cases have felt connected to those changes. “First things first rest in peace Uncle Phil”, a line from J. Cole’s song No Role Modelz, that’s a line we all know and we all respect, however he didn’t say “rest in peace James Avery”. WE knew him as Uncle Phil and her gave us the feeling of a loving uncle who wanted the best of his nephew (and what felt like every single person who watched the Fresh Prince of Bel Air). And when he died it felt like we all lost a dear mentor. A connection like this is not just about how much we love, appreciate and respect these people, but sometimes because they remind us of, well, us or someone we know and love that may or may not be here anymore.

I noticed that I have developed my strongest feelings of connection to many celebrities during times of my own transitional phases in my life. For example, I was a teenager who covered his bedroom walls in posters of sports or music celebrities because I was trying to figure out who I was. These people I truly admired and used them as a blueprint of who I someday wanted to become. I felt that I could manifest myself into everything I’d ever wanted if I surrounded myself. In this manner, our self-identities often become intertwined with the favorite celebrities who helped shape them. When they pass, it feels like a part of us has died, too. When a celebrity dies, we realize that we have lost a person who connects us with so many other people in the entire world. On the bright side, we know that there are so many of us we feel the same way, we can share our grief openly and publicly, as a tribe. There’s a sense of being united and that no one is alone at this awful time. The worst part about a celebrity death is that you are constantly reminded of what has happened. Going back to thinking about Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna, I myself almost find myself being tired of the constant reminder that one of my childhood heroes is literally gone. He wasn’t battling a disease, addicted to any drugs, he wasn’t old, he wasn’t even doing something he had no business doing to make it even feel like a loss that we could genuinely handle. He was just going about his typical day and boom in an instant, gone. If I’m being honest, I don’t think I will ever truly recover from this death. Just the way many of our mothers have a long-standing love for Princess Diana, and are constantly reminded of her beautiful life, and her tragic death. I think of the many times my mother would speak of her as if they were the best of friends. I know there will never be another Kobe Bryant, who inspired an entire generation of athletes to never be afraid to fail and to never be lazy.

At this point, I would consider myself at a point of anger. I’m upset were have to even talk about this, I am upset TMZ violated basic humanity and aired the story before the family of the departed was notified. I cannot come to terms of why the helicopter pilot wasn’t more careful. It makes my stomach cringe thinking about how terrified the children on board were knowing they were likely going to die; can you imagine how awful the last moments were. And I am also upset with myself for letting these things all dwell my mind, even though it’s obviously okay to do so but you feel a sense of “what am I really mad at?” It’s safe to say this is going to sit on my mind for a while, and I am both ashamed and not ashamed at how I feel. I know the entire world is grieving so I am not alone. I just hope it ideally will pass, but I still can’t fathom that we lost a true legend (but legends never truly die).