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Running head: AN ARTICULATE AFTERTHOUGHT 1

An Articulate Afterthought: The Making of a Blackademic

Julie A. Lewis

Mills College

AN ARTICULATE AFTERTHOUGHT 2

Table of Contents

Abstract ........................................................................................................................... 3

An Articulate Afterthought: The Making of a Blackademic.............................................. 4

A Lifetime of Struggle ..................................................................................................... 5

Navigating Whiteness. ................................................................................................. 7

The Making of a Blackademic. ................................................................................ 9

Mastering the Lesson. ............................................................................................ 10

The Cost. ............................................................................................................... 12

References ..................................................................................................................... 14

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Abstract

Education, sometimes referred to as the great equalizer, is perceived as one of the few

ways people can become successful in the United States’ capitalist system. It is thought that

education offers the best opportunity to move up the economic mobility ladder. However, the

narrative that education is the key to unlocking economic success in the United States, is not the

lived reality for many citizens. If education is the great equalizer, why do achievement gaps

exist? More importantly, what is the connection between the identities that are achieving versus

those identities that encounter a gap in their success? This paper will explore the author’s

educational experience and examine the ways that race, class, gender, and other identity markers

created the personal and professional viewpoint, as it relates to the educational experience of a

marginalized student.

Keywords: education, race, intersectionality, achievement gap, success

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An Articulate Afterthought: The Making of a Blackademic

Revolution is a serious thing, the most serious thing about a revolutionary's life. When one commits oneself to the struggle, it must be for a lifetime.” – Angela Davis (ND)

Education, sometimes referred to as the great equalizer1, is perceived as one of the few

ways people can become successful in the United States’ capitalist system. It is thought that

education offers the best opportunity to move up the economic mobility ladder. However, the

narrative that education is the key to unlocking economic success in the United States, is not the

lived reality for many citizens.

Historically, gaps based on race, gender, class and other identity-specific achievement

levels of students, existed due to the systematic denial of education to certain groups. People of

color, women, poor people, and other marginalized groups have been denied access to education

at worst, or received inferior educational opportunities, at best. The exclusion of these groups

enabled policies and practices to focus on an explicit type of student.

Currently, the population of United States’ classrooms are changing. More students of

color, girls and women, and more diverse student populations now fill the classrooms of the

nation. As the population of the nation moves away from white male dominance, it becomes

critical to support a more diverse curriculum and welcoming environment reflective of the

diversity within these classrooms (Taylor & Ladson-Billings, 2016). Even so, the process to

incorporate a more culturally-relevant experience, appears to be happening at a sluggish pace and

the current achievement gaps suggest the process may never yield successful results for the most

marginalized.

1 Horace Mann (1848). “Education then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great equalizer of

the conditions of men, the balance-wheel of the social machinery.”

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If education is the great equalizer, why do achievement gaps, based on socially

constructed identities, exist? How do students with oppressed identities find success in their

educational endeavors? More importantly, what is the cost (emotional, physical, spiritual)

expended on individuals who do find success in a system that was never designed to produce

successful results? This paper will explore the author’s educational experience and examine the

ways that race, class, gender, and other identity markers created the personal and professional

viewpoint, as it relates to the educational experience of a marginalized student.

A Lifetime of Struggle

A lifetime of struggle. That is what should be expected to a child born in poverty.

According to a report conducted by the National Center for Children in Poverty (2009), “42

percent of children born to parents in the bottom fifth of the economic distribution remain in the

bottom as adults and another 23 percent rise only to the second fifth” (Fass, Dinan, and Aratani,

2009). Poverty entry rates are doubled for Black people compared to whites—about 11 percent

versus 5 percent (Burgess and Propper 1998; Ribar and Hamrick 2003), individuals with limited

education spend more time in poverty than other groups, and, on average, poor individuals have

a one in three chance of escaping poverty in any given year (McKernan, Ratcliffe, and Cellini,

2009).

A lifetime of struggle. That is what many women of color, Black and Latina specifically,

living in the United States, experience. Only 21.4 percent of African American women had a

college degree or higher in 2010, compared to 30 percent of white women, college graduation

rates of African American women was 24.1 percent and has not increased at the same rate as the

graduation rates of white women, Latinas, or Asian American women, and African American

women only made 64 cents to the dollar compared to white males (Center for American

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Progress, 2013). Latinas hold only 7.4 percent of the degrees earned by women, though they

constituted 16 percent of the female population in 2012 and they make 55 cents to the dollar

when compared to white, non-Hispanic males (Center for American Progress, 2013).

A lifetime of struggle. That is what is expected for children born to teen parents. “Family

determines almost everything, and that a child's fate is essentially fixed by how well off her

parents were when she was born” (Alexander, Entwisle, & Olson, 2014). A study conducted on

the effects of teen pregnancy on economic attainment reported, “two-thirds of families started by

teens are poor, nearly one in four will depend on welfare within three years of a child’s birth”.

Many children, born to teen parents, do not escape the cycle of poverty. In fact, about two-thirds

of children born to teen mothers earn a high school diploma, compared to 81 percent of their

peers with older parents (National Conference of State Legislatures, 2013).

A lifetime of struggle. That is what many individuals who identify as members of the

LGBTQ community face during their educational experience. “Research shows that LGBT

youth, who are often targets of bullying, harassment, and discrimination, can feel threatened or

victimized, and therefore are at greater academic risk than other students.” (Centers for Disease

Control and Prevention, 2010). Moreover, the findings revealed that more than a third of all

transgender students, faculty, and staff respondents (43 percent), and 13 percent of LGB

respondents, feared for their physical safety on campus. These percentages were higher for LGB

students and LGB and transgender people of color (Windmeyer, S., Keith Humphrey, K., &

Barker, B., 2013). Additionally, there is a pay gap between LGBTQ individuals and their straight

counterparts. That gap increases for LGBTQ folks of color (GLAAD, 2014).

A lifetime of struggle is what I was born to experience. I am a Black, Latina, queer,

woman of color, born to teen parents, who grew up economically underprivileged. Any one of

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my identities would have placed me at a disadvantage in the United Sates. To the holders of two

or more identities, the chances of educational and economic success are few and far between.

Every one of my identities, intersecting, places me at the bottom of most of the important social

standings (health, educational attainment, and economic security) in the United States. I should

be experiencing a lifetime of struggle. Yet, that is not my story and I believe that my success

within the educational system played an enormous role in my ability to escape the life I was born

to experience.

Navigating Whiteness.

The educational system, like most systems within the United States, was designed to

foster the success of rich, heterosexual, white males. Furthermore, the focus on this specific

group also placed those in binary opposition, within a state of perpetual oppression and

exclusion. Essentially, institutions of education sustain our identity-based hierarchy.

Cheryl Harris (1995) analyzed how whiteness became synonymous with ownership

(property), which led to the formation and perpetuation of white supremacy. “When the law

recognizes the settled expectations of whites built on the privileges & benefits produced by white

supremacy, it acknowledges & reinforces a property interest in whiteness that reproduces Black

subordination” (281). Harris continued, “Whiteness in large part has been characterized not by

an inherent unifying characteristic but by the exclusion of others deemed to be ‘not white’”

(283).

In the United States, white people “own” education. It is their history, customs, and

expectations that generate the framework for our national educational policies and practices. For

the most part, it is their beliefs, thoughts, and experiences that are affirmed in classrooms. As

someone who is not white, I have had to assimilate into the dominant culture’s expectations in

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regards to my educational undertakings. However, my assimilation failed to provide me the

cultural capital (Bourdieu, 1986) needed to feel like I belonged within my classrooms. I noticed

the ways that I was expected to fail, encouraged to quit, or otherwise ignored by my teachers,

counselors, and administrators throughout my educational experience.

The moments that I did succeed in the classroom were met with disbelief, inquiring, and

assumptions of inferiority. Here I was, a young, poor, queer (although I had yet to identify, I

certainly did not assume the stereotypical gender roles of my assigned gender identity) Black girl

who got good grades, was on the Honor Roll, and tested into advanced classes. Yet, I was rarely

affirmed by my teachers, received looks of astonishment when I attained a scholastic

achievement, and I was never allowed into those advanced classrooms. The system had already

decided that I was going to fail, so my “success” was always in question. I was not the type of

student that the educational enterprise was designed to center and many of the people who were

supposed to support my intellectual growth, ended up ignoring both me and my success. As a

child, I was never explicitly told that the system was not for me, but I held an internal knowing,

based on the reactions my success bore, that somehow my achievements were not considered

‘normal’.

Unfortunately, my story is not rare. Monique Morris (2016) examines the educational

experiences of young Black girls in her book, Pushout, and discovers that far too often young

Black girls are subjected to harmful stereotypes and experience marginalization of their learning

and humanity (8). One of the damaging effects of the marginalization and dehumanization that

young Black girls experience is internalized oppression. Stereotype threat, refers to being at risk

of confirming, as self-characteristic, a negative stereotype about one's group (Steele & Aronson,

1995) is a form of internalized oppression that heavily impacts young Black girls. I remember

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the impact it had on my educational experience. I internalized the messages of surprise my

teachers gave me as meaning that I somehow did not deserve the accomplishments I earned. I

experienced a constant othering. I was reminded regularly that I was, “the problem.” Feeling like

a problem was often my default in school. If I did not understand a topic or lesson, I thought I

had done something wrong.

I therefore felt the need to work even harder and get even better grades. When I ended up

receiving the same grades when I tried harder as I did when I worked at my regular pace, I

thought I had failed. I internalized my success as not enough because it failed to garner

affirmation of my teachers.

The Making of a Blackademic.

Although I never received the needed support or affirmation around my educational

aptitude at school, I did receive both from my paternal family members. My parents never

married and had differing views on education. My mother came from a working-class family that

believed in finding a good paying job and working hard. The importance of education was rarely

stressed upon me by my maternal family. My mother did support my scholastic interests but,

having not graduated high school, there was a limit to how much she could support me.

My father decided he would be in control of my educational endeavors. Some of my

earliest, and most longstanding, memories of my childhood involve the education I received

from my dad. He would spend countless hours reading with me, engaging me in study skills

books, and disseminating “life lessons” in social justice. His goal was to create a child prodigy.

While he may have not achieved his ultimate goal, he did provide me with the skill set

and confidence that laid the foundation for the educational success I have achieved.

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Perhaps his greatest accomplishment was introducing me to the concept of social justice

before it became a trendy venture. My father provided me experiential lessons in privilege and

oppression. For example, once, when I was about ten, my father drove me around different

neighborhoods in San Jose, CA and asked me to observe what I saw. When we got home, he

helped me analyze what I saw. The main question he had me think about was, why was it that in

the neighborhoods that were predominantly people of color, there were very few parks, grocery

stores, or houses but in the predominantly white neighborhoods, there were plenty of parks, rows

of houses, and accessible grocery stores? These lessons shaped my perspective and normalized

discussions of race and class from a very young age.

Mastering the Lesson.

My educational experience has been filled with feelings of, as W.E.B Du Bois famously

coined, double consciousness. It was rare that I ever fit into the expectations placed on me and I

had internalized the messages of inferiority by overcompensating in my academic efforts. It took

me entering a Master’s program before I would understand why many of my experiences in

education were predetermined. I took a course on Black women, through the Ethnic Studies

Department at San Francisco State University. The course changed my life. It gave me language

to my experiences, not just in the educational setting, but in the world.

The instructor, the first Black female-identified professor of my college career,

introduced me to Black feminism and the Theory of Intersectionality (Crenshaw, 1989). For me,

as a queer, mixed, gender non- conforming, poor woman of color, learning about the theory was

the transformative moment in my educational path. My perceived struggles made sense. I was

not the problem; our systems and institutions were. That course became my lifeline as I finished

my MA in United States History. It helped me better understand many of my previous, and

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current, educational experiences. Like, why my senior seminar class discussions on the United

States during the 1860s, taught by a white male instructor with ten other white males as peers,

never made sense to me when they refused to mention slavery. It allowed me the opportunity to

examine systems of power and privilege through the Matrix of Domination (Hill-Collins, 1990).

I often credit that course, Black feminism, and the Theory of Intersectionality as saving

my academic life and I deeply believe it to be true. Before learning about the Theory of

Intersectionality, I had no language to express what I was experiencing. Once I began to delve

into the world of Black feminism, understanding my life circumstances became a motivating

factor in my scholarship. The years of rejection I experienced along my educational journey

began to make sense. I realized that I was not the problem.

As a student with multiple, intersecting oppressions, I feel it was important for me to

realize that there were other factors contributing to why people treated me the way they had, in

regards to my educational success. I needed to internalize a different message than the narrative

of inferiority, I was given. Understanding the basis of oppression and having a grounding in

system analysis are key components for students of marginalized identities because it provides

them with language to help explain circumstances that they may experience. That is one of the

main reasons I teach the Theory of Intersectionality to all of my students, no matter the course

subject.

I continue to master the concepts of Black feminism and consider myself an

intersectional practitioner. I work on healing from the oppressions of my education experiences,

I hope to develop a theory of change that uses Black feminism and the Theory of

Intersectionality to dismantle the educational systems of power and privilege, and I continue to

master the lessons of my Black feminist foremothers.

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The Cost.

Even though I learned that my negative educational experiences were not my fault,

having those experiences, while continuing to participate in the oppressive system, has come at a

cost. The cost of having marginalized identities in an identity-focused social hierarchy are too

great to ignore. Those experiences shaped every aspect of my educational journey and they

continue to impact me due to my choice in profession.

Since I have always had a passion for learning, it made sense for me to choose education

as a professional pathway. Presently, I am the department chair of African American Studies at a

local community college, I have worked diligently to provide a space for so many of my

(marginalized) students, and in doing so, I continue to expose myself to a system that was not

designed for my success. I realize that I still experience many of the same microagressions and

assumptions of inferiority. Moreover, the treatment is compounded because it comes from both

colleagues and students.

I have been questioned by colleagues as to why I was in the mailroom while trying to

check my campus mailbox. I was branded a Black nationalist because I alleged that our athletic

department exploits Black males, I have repeatedly been accused of being “a racist” by white

students, I am asked to produce my campus ID card whenever I enter certain spaces on campus, I

am followed when I shop at the bookstore, and I have been accused of being an angry Black

woman. These are just a small sampling of the painful oppressions I experience in this segment

of my educational journey. Additionally, I now experience an added pain because I often hear

stories of experiences from my students that are eerily familiar. It seems like little has changed

for marginalized students.

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These moments have cost me, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Despite all the

success I have obtained in education, this system reminds me that it was not designed for me.

The cost, for me, has been extraordinary. I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually exhausted.

I suffer from anxiety and deal with constant stress and there are moments that I want to quit

because I feel hopeless that anything will change. One of the reasons I decided to enter a doctoral

program was wanting to escape what I was experiencing at work. I needed a break because the

burden was too heavy to bare. I have been in school virtually all my life. That makes nearly

thirty-five years of trauma that I need to heal from. That is the toll that marginalized students

face by continuing to be exposed to an educational system that was not designed for their

success.

Conclusion

At first glance, my individual educational success reads like a Horatio Alger tale in

exceptionalism; a “rags to riches” story of hard work and success against all odds. For the most

part, it is true. I beat all the odds stacked against me, found success in education, and created a

new path other than the one predicted by my intersecting, marginalized identities. However, I

would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the emotional, physical, and spiritual toll it has cost

me. I believe many marginalized students share in my experiences and it is time that the system

changed. The current structure of education in the United States is damaging our most

marginalized students. We can no longer sit back and ignore the damage that we are exposing

our students to while they attempt to navigate their educational journeys. The cost is too critical

to ignore.

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