rewrite

Analyzing and Rewriting Sentences: Activity

Here a several sentences. Most of them can be improved by using the tips presented in this module or in Guffey Chapters 3 and Appendix D1. Review each sentence to identify the areas for improvement. Then rewrite the sentences.

1. When you are asked for anything at any time about your responsibilities for The Los Angeles Times, be careful of telling too much and to give away information that is confidential.

2. It was immediately apparent to anyone who was involved in the issues and others could see that an answer would not be forthcoming regarding this issue of arbitration at this time, or in the future.

3. Attached is a sample of the form which will be used at all times when we have contact with any contractor or potential contractor to document all contacts even if it is just an inquiry or someone who wants information.

4. These revisions are essentially the same as the preliminary draft, except for the format and the inclusion of Cash Research section telephone extensions which Joan requested.

5. Recent transfers, terminations, and a person on leave of absence has left us thin in staff.

6. A system error caused 3 non-active runs to be excluded in the Year to Date computations. The runs not included are 7, 8 and 9.

7. It is clear and anyone can see that we are paying too much for newsprint.

8. If after trying the electronic transfer system which is new during the week or weeks after the initiation we find out we are not able to transfer funds promptly then we may be able to convert back to our old method which could be better.

9. The Pasadena Herald was founded late in the 1940s and did not expand rapidly as other newspapers of the period but was growing rapidly by 1960 when we acquired them.

10. Paul Harwood is in need of someone to be available in support of his organization during the month when two members of his staff are taking vacation which is July.

11. In light of our being overstaffed at this time and of our priority planning for cross training and management discussions it is possible we could utilize this opportunity for transitioning of a person now and not later

12. The authorization process of a capital expenditure begins with the needs of a department, for a specific capital asset.

13. Please be aware that when ads are not run on a continuing basis and are prepaid with a credit card, invoices are not sent to customers. If you should so desire an invoice in the future, please make your sales representative aware of this at the time you place your ad.

13. The New accounts Analysis is primarily responsible for making decisions on lines of credit for 350 advertisers a week. Responsibility also addresses first level supervision of 8-10 people, analysis of financial statements and approval of new advertising.