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Essay Title : Personal Response Essay Comment by Simei: So what's the title? It can be [Your Thesis Key Word] in “True North”
Ada Yu Xing
International Degree Completion: Trinity Western University
WRTG 101: Writing and Culture
Prof. Simei Zhou
Oct.15.2020
Personal Response Essay Comment by Simei: A specific title needed here.
The authors of this book established that the unique leadership qualities of great leaders are the core drivers in guiding them to concentrate on the right trajectory. They understand the most significant issues and manage to stay focused on them. TOPIC sentence needed, focusing on the significance of authentic leadership. Qualities that guide leaders highlighted in Chapter 2 of True North makes me question how leaders do not lose their way through the following factors: values and leadership. Comment by Simei: The introduction paragraph is generally on the right track, but needs a topic sentence.
A true chief can motivate reliability and trust in her representatives by reliably showing who she truly is personally, and how she feels about her workers' exhibition (Forsey, n.d). Bill George, a business pioneer turned academic. Is the author of such best-selling books as Authentic Leadership and True North (Citation needed here). Despite where you are in your excursion simply beginning, searching for another test, or arriving at the head of your association every initiative experience empowers you to develop and to find your true authority (George, 2015). A transition sentence needed here, including a synonym of thesis key word. Comment by Simei: I’m not sure if this is the summary of chapter 2 as the sentences are not clear. Comment by Simei: Tone error. To improve, please review course pack p. 22 and 34. Comment by Simei: Tone error- same errors appear in the rest of the paper.
Values are the beliefs and principles that guide people in their work. EXPLANATION needed here (Specifically, ….) According to Bill George in his book, True North. “QUOTATION” from chapter 2 needed here. In my opinion, whenever he felt overwhelmed in his work, contrary to his core principles of stillness and clarity, he would scan his values to provide him with a guide. Another idea is that I learned that we all have a guiding personal North Star: a feeling in our emotions that informs us when we are on the right trajectory and With this in mind, this makes me feel the importance of values because the author will formulate a principle (or determine a principle) in his life to make him return to a position consistent with his own values. He usually adopts the principle of "priority execution", which involves taking a step back to assess the situation and choosing the tasks that will have the greatest impact. And he will perform the main task, and then continue to perform the next task and subsequent other tasks. Whenever he implements this principle, finding his true north will immediately become clear, and he will stop immediately if he is overwhelmed (George, 2015). PERSONAL EXPERIENCE response needed (In comparison….). CONNECTION needed (Therefore, …… ). Comment by Simei: The assertion needs to include the thesis key word. Comment by Simei: Move the intellectual response after the emotional response. Comment by Simei: Tone. Comment by Simei: Tone. Comment by Simei: Tone. Comment by Simei: Tone. Comment by Simei: This paragraph has some relevant intellectual response, but it's not on the right track. It must follow the the paragraph pattern closely enough (Assertion, Explanation, Evidence, Discussion, Connection).
This paragraph has some relevant intellectual response, but it's not on the right track. It must follow the paragraph structure closely enough (Assertion, Explanation, Evidence, Discussion, Connection.
Leadership is an important factor in qualities. EXPLANATION needed here (Specifically, ….). EVIDENCE needed here-According to ….. “QUOTE” (citation). In comparison, Tamil Bonnar is a famous leader. According to her leadership style, Bonnell believes that being a boss only contributes 10% of the investment, while the rest are in the opposite direction, encouraging and whispering from the beholder (Patno, 2020). (Bonnell) explained her leadership view that becoming a boss can only contribute 10% of the investment. This is the reason why many leaders fail because they focus on worrying about failure. And to impose their will on others, when they are at the peak, their paranoia is at its best. It seems to me that they believe there will always be someone waiting for them. Therefore, the failure of this type of leader is characterized by the desire to succeed by acting alone. This has something to do with George's explanation of why the leader is lost. According to George, in order for leaders to maintain their position, they must put inner satisfaction on external satisfaction. In this way, they can listen to honest critics and tell them the truth. When leaders do not listen to the whispers of bystanders, they will eventually lose the ability to conduct honest conversations, which makes people avoid meeting them face to face.
The second paragraph is not on the right track. It must follow the paragraph structure closely enough (Assertion, Explanation, Evidence, Discussion, Connection).
In conclusion, as George states, every leader needs to inquire from deep inside themselves the fundamental reasons they seek leadership roles. The motivating factor for them to lead and the purpose of their leadership are critical elements of determining whether a leader maintains people’s direction in finding the True North. When the driving factors are prestige, power, and money, there is a high risk of external gratification trapping the leader.
References Comment by Simei: The references are not completely correct. Please review the comments on your APA Template assignments and APA Guide for correction
Forsey, C. (n.d.). What's authentic leadership, & How do you practice it . Site Name needed here. https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/authentic-leadership
George, B. (2015). Discover your true north. Hoboken, New Jersey: Wiley.
Patno, D. (2020). the center(FOLD) Tami Bonnell - NAWRB. NAWRB. https://www.nawrb.com/shecenterfold-tami-bonnell/.
This essay has some useful sentences and transition words. The introduction paragraph and background paragraph generally follow the pattern.
However, the essay doesn’t fulfill the assignment criteria as most parts are not on the track. To improve, please work on the structure, ideas and academic voice as below:
· Body paragraphs are incomplete and not following the pattern, which should be Assertion, Explanation, Evidence, Discussion, Connection.
· Personal experience response is missing.
· The content has no clear and specific focus
· Topic sentence is missing in the introduction paragraph.
· A transition sentence is missing in the background paragraph.
· Many tone and APA errors present.
Unfortunately, this essay is not passable.
Grade: 3.5/ 10 (F)