Interpersonal Com paper

Interpersonal Communication Developing and Ending Relationships

Interpersonal Relationships and Strategies

Developing & Ending Relationships

Romantic Relationship

Family Relationship

Your Interpersonal Relationships

Week 11

Week 12

Week 13

Overview

 Types and stages of interpersonal relationships

 Forming, escalating, and ending relationships

Types of Interpersonal Relationships

Personal Social

Voluntary Partners & Spouses

Best friends Acquaintances

Activity partners

Involuntary Parent-Child

Grandparent-Grandchild Siblings

Distant relatives Coworkers and classmates

Neighbors

Stages of Interpersonal Relationships

Exchange public information

Exchange personal information

Establish mutual relationship awareness

Establish an identity as a social unit

Establish relationship through public ritual Beliefs and activities that are not shared

Share less private feelings

Avoid communicating relationship problems

Create physical distance

No longer contact each other

Stages of Interpersonal Relationships

Forming Relationships

 Building relationships with strangers depends on your ability of

• Coping with uncertainty and figuring out how to communicate with others

• Exploring possibility and discovering opportunities for positive experiences

Coping with Uncertainty

 A primary challenge when communicating with strangers is uncertainty

• Uncertainty reduction theory: in our initial interactions, we focus on gathering information that help us reduce uncertainty

• Self-disclosure: sharing your characteristics, experiences, feelings, attitudes, or beliefs

• A norm of reciprocity: matching our disclosure to those made by the partners by topic, quantity, and quality

Exploring Possibilities

 Discovering opportunities for positive experiences

• Predicted outcome value: the reward a person expects to get from a relationship in the future – when it is high, we are more active in creating positive experience

• Small talks: public information, reciprocation, qualities of you that is not too private yet set you apart from others

• Limit your self-disclosures to positive information and follow broadly held social norms

Escalating Relationships

 Transcending personal boundaries: from more social to more

personal, from less intimate to more intimate

Creating a Connection

 Communicating with personal relationships

• Social penetration theory: relationship escalates as self-disclosure increases in both breadth and depth

Open self to hidden self

Creating a Connection

 Communicating with personal relationships

• Negative self-disclosure reveals vulnerability and trustworthiness

• The norm of reciprocity is replaced by responses to disclosures that convey understanding and validation

Coordinating Behavior

 Coordinate day-to-day activities

• Interdependence: relationship partners rely on each other to accomplish their everyday goals

• Relational turbulence model: an unavoidable part of relationship escalation is the fact that a partner might create interference or barriers to your personal goals

Striving for Equity

 Social exchange: the voluntary transfer of personal resources from

one person to another

• The challenge in escalating relationships is to find a way to exchange resources that is perceived to be fair to both partners

• The rule of distributive justice: each partner’s rewards should be proportional to his or her cost

Resolving Doubts

 Relationship uncertainty: the lack of knowledge people have about

their relationships

• Relationship talk, e.g., direct conversations with your partner

• Secret tests, e.g., flirt with a third party

• Ironically, relationship uncertainty leads to more indirect communication

Ending Relationships

 Relationship dissolution: the process by which previously developed

relationships become less close

Ending Relationships

 When would you choose to end a close relationship?

• Not enough rewards (independence, similarity, support, shared time, equality, or romance)

• You have better alternatives

• You didn’t invest a lot in the relationship

 The investment model

• Commitment = Satisfaction (Rewards – Costs) – Availability of Alternatives + Resources Invested in Relationships

Managing Face Threats

 Face threat: experience that can make either partner feel

constrained or disliked, the blow to your identity

• Indirect strategies (uncovering negative information about relationships, limiting self-disclosure, avoiding) can soften the blow, but avoiding the issue completely can cause misunderstanding and bad feelings