need a reading response. ( two pages, in 5 hours)

10/18/2017 Yuzu: Psychology of Gender: Fourth Edition

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A third theory of mate preferences is social construction theory, which argues that social norms dictate what is desirable in a mate. A study of American and Israeli college students supported this theory (Pines, 2001). Students were interviewed about their most significant romantic relationship and asked why they had fallen in love. Consistent with evolutionary theory, 80% of men and 53% of women mentioned physical appearance. However, 89% of men and 97% of women mentioned personality, so physical appearance was not the most important feature named. Only 4% of men and women mentioned status, contradicting evolutionary theory. The primary finding of the study, however, was that there were more cultural differences than sex differences in mate preferences, emphasizing how norms shape what is attractive in a mate. Americans were more influenced by status and similarity than Israelis. A study of mate preferences in the United States and the People’s Republic of China also supported social construction theory (Toro-Morn & Sprecher, 2003). The most important preferences in a mate were the same for both countries: honest, trustworthy, warm, kind, healthy, sense of humor. The least important preferences also were the same: age, popularity, wealth, and social status. There were more sex differences in China than in the United States. In both countries, men preferred a younger mate and a physically attractive mate compared to women, whereas women preferred a mate with high social status compared to men. These differences, however, were larger in China than in the United States. In addition, only in China did men value a mate who was a good housekeeper more than women. It is not a surprise that the sex differences in mate preferences were larger in a culture where women’s and men’s roles are more distinct and there is a greater status differential between women and men. When women have less access to economic resources, it is not surprising that they value a mate’s access to economic resources.

Relationship Initiation Do you remember your first date? How did it come about? Who contacted whom? Who decided what to do? How do women and men become involved in romantic relationships?

Traditionally, the male has taken the initiative in romantic relationships. Today, it is more acceptable for women to invite men on a date, and there are more forums set up for female initiation; there are dances in high school and parties in college where females are intended to initiate. Yet these forums are distinct because they focus on the female as the initiator. Female initiation is not normative. There is evidence that when females initiate first dates, men expect greater sexual involvement—although, in actuality, there is no evidence that more sexual behavior occurs when females initiate (Mongeau et al., 2006).

One way to examine how relationships develop is to examine first date scripts. A script is a schema or cognitive representation of a sequence of events. These scripts are gender based. In essence, the male is proactive and the female is reactive (Mongeau et al., 2006). The male initiates the date, decides what to do on the date, arranges transportation, pays for the date, and initiates sexual contact. By contrast, the female accepts or rejects the invitation, the plans for the date, and sexual advances (Honeycutt & Cantrill, 2001). Men’s first date scripts consist of more gender-stereotypical behavior (e.g., asking for date, initiating sex) than women’s first date scripts, which may indicate that the script for a first date is more rigid for men than for women. There is quite a bit of agreement between women and men about how the course of a first date unfolds. College students today still say that men are more likely than women to initiate sex (Dworkin & O’Sullivan, 2007). However, the majority of males also say that they wish women would initiate sex more frequently—in part to share the work of sex and in part because it makes men feel like they are more desirable.

It is interesting that the burden of initiation rests on males when adolescent males today report more awkward communication in romantic relationships, say they are less confident in romantic relationships, and more influenced by their partners compared to females (Giordano, Longmore, & Manning, 2006). Thus, compared to the discussion of self-esteem and self-confidence in Chapter 6, the early stages of romantic relationships may be one arena in which men are less confident and influential than women.

The initiation of a relationship may be more awkward for homosexuals than heterosexuals. One way that a homosexual relationship may develop is out of friendship. Lesbian relationships, in particular, are likely to develop out of friendship (Rose, Zand, & Cini, 1993). However, the progression from friendship to romantic relationship may be difficult for lesbians (Rose et al., 1993). Traditionally, women are not used to taking the initiative in the development of romantic relationships. Thus it may take time for the relationship to move beyond friendship to a romantic relationship. Lesbian friendships may face the emotional bond challenge that

10/18/2017 Yuzu: Psychology of Gender: Fourth Edition

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confronts cross-sex friendship among heterosexuals: When does the relationship cross over from friendship to romantic love, and are the feelings mutual?

First date scripts have been examined among homosexuals (Klinkenberg & Rose, 1994; Rose & Frieze, 1993). There are some ways in which the first date scripts of homosexuals are similar to those of heterosexuals. Common features included grooming for the date, discussing plans for the date, initiating physical contact, the actual date activity (movie, dinner), and feelings of nervousness. Several differences in the way heterosexual men and women behave also appear in the way gay men and lesbians behave. For example, gay men place a greater emphasis on the physical aspects of intimacy (sex) and lesbians place a greater emphasis on the emotional aspects of intimacy, suggesting that the sex differences observed among heterosexuals is related to being male versus female rather than status. In addition, gay men were more likely than lesbians to discuss making arrangements for the date, suggesting that both homosexual and heterosexual men are more proactive than their female counterparts. With the exception of men being more proactive than women, homosexual scripts did not have stereotypical gender roles; the features of the first date were equally likely to be tied to either partner in the couple.

TAKE HOME POINTS

Women and men agree on the most important characteristics of a mate-kind, understanding, honest, trustworthy, sense of humor, open and expressive. There are consistent sex differences on traits that are relatively unimportant in choosing a mate: Men weigh physical attractiveness more heavily than do women, and women weigh economic resources more heavily than do men. The nature of the relationship influences mate preferences. Sex differences are more likely to appear when the relationship is less serious; men’s and women’s preferences are most similar in serious relationships.