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3.pptxBuilding Cultural Agility Online Course
Dr. Bill Castellano
Professor HRM Department
Rutgers University School of Management and Labor Relations
Welcome to the building cultural agility online course.
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SESSION 3: How to Build Relationships Across Cultures
Welcome to session 3: “How to build relationships across cultures.”
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Class 3
| Class 3: How to Build Relationships Across Cultures | Working With Track (U.S. and Country of Interest) Understanding how culture and personal style influence business and personal interactions | Discussion Question Describe how best to communicate when interacting with others or conducting meetings in your country of interest. |
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In this class, you will understand how culture and personal style influence and personal interactions
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Being an effective conversationalist is a skill. Skills are practiced acts.
Conversational skills are critical for developing personal and professional relationships.
Fostering relationships through conversations are easier for some people but everyone can become effective.
Relationships are critical for cultural agility.
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Most people who do not want to start a conversation with a stranger have social anxiety caused by a feeling of possibly being rejected. No one wants to feel rejected. We should strive to make it more comfortable for everyone to have conversations. The goal is to create greater social ease.
This challenge is exacerbated when working internationally because it is more difficult to read familiar cues.
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Common Experience
“I didn’t know it rained like this in NJ.”
“I heard this professor randomly calls on people.”
Real Question
“Do you know where to go to pay a parking ticket?”
“Do you know what time this class ends?”
Conversation Starters
Authentic Praise
“Love your shoes.”
“Nice shirt. I am a Giants fan too.”
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Most people are worried about not knowing what to say in an unfamiliar group setting, at a professional networking session where you don’t know anyone, or when meeting an individual for the first time.
You can always try to connect around something shared – such as a common experience, a question or authentic praise. These can work almost universally but be certain you follow the rules for engaging those from a different culture. For example, in some cultures it would be inappropriate for a young person to speak directly to an older person.
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Conversation Promoters Exercise: Past, Present, Future
Past
Are you from NJ?
How did you become interested in accounting?
Present
What is your major?
Have you joined any clubs here?
Future
Do you want to live in NJ after graduation?
Have you thought about whether you want to work for a big or small firm?
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If you begin a conversation, do you have a problem not knowing what to ask or say next? A simple technique is “past-present-future”. No matter what is disclosed, you can always use the other two times to ask a few more questions to kickstart a conversation.
For example, “what is your major” (a present question); “How did you become interested in HR” (a past question); What industry are you thinking about working in” (a future question)
This technique works well across cultures provided the culture is comfortable with self-disclosure. You will need to be sensitive in more private cultures.
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Cross-Cultural Differences in Conversational Styles
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In a paper in HBR (2014) by Erin Meyer titled ‘Peaches and Coconuts,” culture experts Fons Trompenaars and Charles Hampden-Turner discuss two distinct types of cultures:
“In peach cultures like the USA or Brazil people tend to be friendly (“soft”) with new acquaintances. They smile frequently at strangers, move quickly to first-name usage, share information about themselves, and ask personal questions of those they hardly know. But after a little friendly interaction with a peach, you may suddenly get to the hard shell of the pit where the peach protects his real self and the relationship suddenly stops. In coconut cultures like Russia and Germany, people are initially more closed off from those they don’t have friendships with. They rarely smile at strangers, ask casual acquaintances personal questions, or offer personal information to those they don’t know intimately. But over time, as coconuts get to know you, they become gradually warmer and friendlier. And while relationships are built up slowly, they also tend to last longer.”
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Cross-Cultural Issues and Increasing Rapport
Match level of formality and accessibility
Match comfort with eye contact
Match level of self-disclosure
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When building relationships across cultures, you should understand the possible differences in expected formality, eye contact, and level of self-disclosure:
(Formality): It is better to match the same level of formality that is expected. If you are too informal in a culture that is more formal you will be considered rude. If you are too formal in an informal culture you will be viewed as standoffish and cold. In both cases, it would be difficult to build a relationship.
(Eye Contact): Research has shown that people will range between 30% and 60% in the amount of eye contact they have with their conversational partner. Especially in Western cultures, greater eye contact signal greater interpersonal connection. That said, too much eye contact – however someone defines this -- can make your conversational partner feel uncomfortable.
(Self-Disclosure): Cultures also differ on the topics they believe are too private to discuss. It is always best to stay with common experiences or neutral background questions to determine how comfortable the individual is with sharing personal information.
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Be an Empathetic Conversationalist
Engaging: Ask him or her to share more about the experience. You show your genuine emotions. “Tell me more about…”
Better than:
Parroting: You emotionally acknowledge the experience, but you do not ask questions. “That’s great.”
Ignoring: You ignore the experience and change the subject. “Can I borrow your green sweater.”
Diminishing: You criticize the experience and show negative emotions. “Why would you want…”
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Maya Angelou once said ““I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Research has shown that relationships can be built on the emotional response we give each other when sharing our personal stories. It is important to engage when someone does disclose something personal.
Engaging means that you ask him or her to share more about the experience. You show your genuine emotions, and genuinely ask to “Tell me more about…what is being shared”
Engaging is far better than the other options such as:
Parroting: when you emotionally acknowledge the experience, but you do not ask questions. “That’s great.”
Ignoring: when you ignore the experience and change the subject. “Can I borrow your green sweater.”
Or Diminishing: when you criticize the experience and show negative emotions. “Why would you want…”
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Empathy is stronger when:
You perceive similarity with someone
You are in a close relationship with someone
You like and trust someone
You have had a similar experience
You have a dispositional tendency to feel others’ emotions
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Empathy is stronger when………..1 - 5
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Listen fully
Be empathetic
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Universally, it is important to listen fully and be empathetic.
To Listen Fully you must be fully present and offer your undivided attention. Seek to understand the true meaning of what you hear
To be Empathetic, you use empathy to understand the other’s context or lens
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Now go to the Culture Wizard E-Learning system “Working With” section, and compare the U.S. and your Country of Interest to understand how culture and personal style influences business and personal interactions
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China Example
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In this course, you will be able to distinguish how culture influences business and personal interactions and develop strategies to adjust your behavior to achieve successful business outcomes.
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Working with your Country of Interests
Learn more about the key aspects of working with people from your country of interest
Understand how to effectively communicate and develop relationships
Develop strategies of success when working in this country, e.g. presentations, negotiations, conversations, and knowledge transfer.
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Think about the key aspects of working with others in your country of interest. Seek to understand how to effectively communicate and develop relationships. Strive to develop strategies when making presentations, engaged in negotiations, or conducting conversations.
This week’s discussion question, due by Friday:
Discussion Question
Describe how best to communicate when interacting with others or conducting meetings in your country of interest.
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