rough draft

20180603030824when_i_opened_my_eyes_in_first_moment_i_couldn___t_understand_where_am_i.docx

When I opened my eyes in first moment I couldn’t understand where am I? Everything was mixed in my head. I set on the bed and started thinking. What is happened yesterday? After couple seconds my mind started responding me, and the picture became more clear. I started remembering last night. Also, I couldn’t breathe normal; it was so hot in the room; conditioner is not worked. I tried to turn on the conditioner, and light, but nothing is working. No electricity was making my life miserable. You probably still concerning where I am? So, listening my story…

You probably know about Puerto Rico, this one of Spanish colony in the past, and now this is an American territory for one hundred and twenty years. It looks like America, but the soul of this place is Spanish. I came here by myself, I knew that after hurricane everything here look not good, but I made my decision to go anyway. So, my first step on the Puerto Rican land was on afternoon on Tuesday. The first expression I took from the air, I did a deep inhale. The air was so worm with fresh smell of ocean, that moment drew in my mind a beautiful picture of the beach, which I will visit soon. Next, I felt a strong wind, however it didn’t feel strong on the skin, this wind was caressed like a Chinese silk. After I went to my apartment, which I rent by using website. When I arrived, the apartment didn’t have any electricity at all, and warm water as well. But it didn’t change my mood, I was in the condition that I am just happy to be here, far from my family and friends, on this fabulous island in Caribbean Sea. I was so ready for my journey on the tropical island in the middle of nowhere.

I left the apartment, I could go to the beach, however it was too late, almost sunset. I decided to go to one of the most popular places on the San Juan, call La Placita. When I reached that famous place I understood why it is so attractive for the people, who live there, and visitors as well. The street looked like a huge party, everybody was dancing, talking, drinking, walking around, everywhere even in the middle of the street. I heard live music with awesome Latino bit, people were speaking on the Spanish language. I can understand it “un pocito” as will say it, native speakers. I looked around, found the restaurant with a lot of costumes, and nice music. I ordered my first Mojito that cocktail opened a new page in this fantastic place. People so nice there I was talking and drinking with them all night. During the conversation, I imbued with the real Puerto Rican atmosphere. I knew a lot of think, for instance how people live on a small island, what kind of food they eat, how hard the politic situation on the island. I learned many traditions, like how native citizens treat all people who come to their island. I understood that special this place for me. I have never seen people like Puerto Rican, they are so kind, helpful, energetic and nice. The whole island lives like one big system, the huge alive organism. After couple hours I came home, and fall asleep immediately with all new emotions, and smile on my face.

This is comment of teacher

The autobiographical significance of the event is not clear, although there are some descriptive details of the setting. My advice would be to return to the subject that you began with for the Invention One activities as that event is more in keeping with the assignment. IMPORTANT: Please be sure to edit and proofread your final draft carefully. Be particularly careful to look for fused sentences and sentence fragments (incomplete sentences). Also, check for spelling errors.  In particular, watch for tense shifts. Remembered event essays are usually written in the past tense, so be careful of switching from past to present tense.  Also, numbers that can be written in one or two words should be spelled out (six, fifteen, sixteen, and so on).