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Prewriting: Comparison and Contrast
Lily Lin
Student ID: 23965006
April 13th, 2024
Commented [SO1]: John Doe 23456789 Exam Number______ Page 2 123 Main Street Any City USA 11111 [email protected] This should be in your header so it appears on every page as required.
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Prewriting: Compare and Contrast
Advanced – score of 100%
The prewriting effectively addresses the purpose of the assignment and the requirements of the prompt.
• The writer chose one of the assigned topics and submitted an outline or graphic
organizer.
• The writer included all the required introductory information: a topic, background
statement, and thesis statement.
• The thesis statement makes a claim or takes a position on the topic, and the main points
are outlined clearly.
• The writer included at least 3 main points on the topic, with at least three supporting
elements for each. The main points connect clearly to and support the thesis statement
• The writer’s conclusion reinforced the thesis statement.
• The writer arranged the main points in a logical order to suit the claim made in the thesis
statement.
• The supporting elements provided for each main point are relevant and clearly illustrate the comparison and contrast pattern of development for the chosen topic.
• The paper is mostly free of errors that interfere with a reader’s ability to understand the
content and uses the required font, header, line spacing, and margins.
Proficient- score of 85%
The prewriting adequately addresses the purpose of the assignment and the requirements of the prompt.
• The writer chose one of the assigned topics and submitted an outline or graphic
organizer.
• The writer included most of the required introductory information: a topic, background
statement, and thesis statement.
• The thesis statement makes a claim or takes a position on the topic, but the main points
are not outlined clearly.
• The writer included at least 3 main points on the topic, with at least two or more
supporting elements for each. The main points connect to and support the thesis
statement, however much of the information is obvious.
• The writer’s conclusion mostly reinforced the thesis statement.
• The writer arranged the main points in an order that mostly suits the claim made in the
thesis statement.
• The supporting elements provided for each main point are mostly relevant and adequately illustrate the comparison and contrast pattern of development for the chosen topic.
• The paper is reasonably free of errors that interfere with a reader’s ability to understand
the content and uses the required font, header, line spacing, and margins.
Developing- score of 70%
The prewriting partially addresses the purpose of the assignment and the requirements of the prompt.
• The writer chose one of the assigned topics and submitted an outline or graphic
organizer.
• The writer included some of the required introductory information: a topic, background
statement, and thesis statement, however some of these elements are missing.
• The thesis statement does not make a claim or take a position on the topic and/or the
main points are not outlined.
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• The writer included less than 3 main points on the topic and/or lacks three supporting
elements for each. The main points do not completely connect to and support the thesis
statement, and much of the information is obvious and/or needs more development.
• The writer’s conclusion is underdeveloped and/or is beginning to reinforce the thesis
statement.
• The writer arranged the main points in an order that is beginning to suit the claim made
in the thesis statement, but the outline lacks organization.
• The supporting elements provided for each main point lack focus, logical development, and are beginning to illustrate the comparison and contrast pattern of development for the chosen topic.
• The paper includes errors that interfere with a reader’s ability to understand the content
and/or does not use the required font, header, line spacing, and margins.
Emerging- score of 60%
The prewriting minimally addresses the purpose of the assignment and the requirements of the prompt.
• The writer chose one of the assigned topics but did not submit an outline or graphic
organizer.
• The writer minimally included some of the required introductory information: a topic,
background statement, and thesis statement, however most of these elements are
missing.
• The thesis statement does not make a claim or take a position on the topic, is not related
to the topic, and/or the main points are not outlined.
• The writer did not include 3 main points on the topic and/or lacks three supporting
elements for each. The main points do not connect to and support the thesis statement,
and much of the information is obvious and needs more development.
• The writer’s conclusion is underdeveloped, missing, and/or does not reinforce the thesis
statement.
• The writer is beginning to arrange the main points in an order that is could suit the claim
made in the thesis statement, but the outline lacks organization and focus.
• The supporting elements provided for each main point lack are minimally defined and do not illustrate the comparison and contrast pattern of development for the chosen topic.
• The paper includes some errors that make it difficult for a reader to understand the
content and/or does not use the required font, header, line spacing, and margins.
Not Developed- score of 50%
The prewriting does not address the purpose of the assignment and the requirements of the prompt.
• The writer did not choose one of the assigned topics and/or did not submit an outline or
graphic organizer.
• The writer did not include all the required introductory information: a topic, background
statement, and thesis statement.
• The thesis statement does not make a claim or takes a position on the topic.
• The writer did not include at least 3 main points on the topic, with at least three
supporting elements for each. The main points do not connect clearly to and support the
thesis statement
• The writer’s conclusion does not reinforce the thesis statement.
• The writer did not arrange the main points in a logical order to suit the claim made in
the thesis statement.
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• The supporting elements are not provided for each main point and/or are not relevant and adequately illustrate the comparison and contrast pattern of development for the chosen topic.
• The paper includes significant errors that make it extremely difficult for a reader to understand the content and does not use the required font, header, line spacing, and
margins.
Exam Number: 355104 Grade: 70
Date: 4/24/24 Instructor: SO
Instructions for Essay:
Thank you for your submission and hard work! You’re ready to move on to the formal essay.
Before you start drafting your essay, you should
Review the exam instructions in your study materials online.
1. Apply the feedback I’ve included above.
2. Use the same topic for your essay as you did in this prewriting. Do not switch topics.
The compare and contrast essay is a formal essay based on this prewriting assignment. The goal
is to compare and contrast your topic, make a debatable claim about that comparison, and prove
that claim in your essay. Your essay will need
• An introduction with a thesis statement.
• Body paragraphs with topic sentences that each focus on one category.
• A conclusion that includes your paraphrased thesis.
Review the feedback I’ve provided and apply it as you work on your formal essay, which should
be 1,000–1,200 words. If you have any questions as you work, don’t hesitate to let the school
know.
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We want to hear from you! Please use this link to share your feedback with us. Best of luck in
your studies!
Prewriting: Comparison and Contrast
Topic: Compare and contrast online shopping and shopping at a physical location
Subject: Online shopping versus. shopping at a physical location
Background: Nowadays, shopping has become much more popular compared to a few years
ago: Consumers can buy from anywhere using the advancement of e-commerce that gives buyers
the chance to shop online without leaving their houses. Nevertheless, traditional physical outlets
are trying to provide a compelling customer experience that may be something that many
customers still prefer.
Thesis Statement: Although both online shopping and shopping at a physical location offer
advantages, shopping in person provides a more realistic and personalized experience than only
online shopping.
Point 1: Convenience
Online shopping: The online buying experience, which is possible 24/7/365, really tops it all!
One can shop literally at any time, any place, with the ability to deeply compare prices and
product information across several retailers all in one click (Taher, 2021).
Physical stores: Although they require customers to be physically present at the location, they
enable customers to see, feel, try on, and test their products' functionality (Pei et al., 2020).
Point 2: Selection
Commented [SO2]: Good claim but you ought to provide at least three reasons to support it. For example: Dogs make better pets than cats for solo-living introverts because they provide emotional support, exercise, and security.
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Online shopping: They often provide a greater inventory selection compared to physical stores
since online retailers aren’t restricted by physical store size (Taher, 2021).
Physical stores: There will be a unique selection, but it could allow you to wander around and
discover new products in person.
Point 3: Social Experience
Online shopping: Lacks the social interaction and personal touch of in-person shopping, which
can be important for some consumers.
Physical stores: Provide an option for customers to speak with sales associates and enable them
to have conversations with other shoppers to improve their relationships and strengthen their
consumer experience (Pei et al., 2020).
Point 4: Instant Gratification
Online shopping: Sometimes, you must wait for delivery, which can take a few hours or several
days, depending on the retailer and shipping method (Taher, 2021).
Physical stores: Allow customers to take home purchases right away.
Conclusion: One of the advantages of online shopping is that it is convenient, and you can
choose from a wide range of products. For some shoppers, the physical shopping experience is
more immersive and personal, and they continue to value this aspect highly. Often, the decision
will be narrowed down based on an individual's personal preferences and needs regarding their
shopping experience.
Good effort but the conclusion must retain the debate earlier offered in your thesis.
Commented [SO3]: The second person voice (you, your) is informal and hence inappropriate for you to use in an academic essay. Please remove all elements of the second person (you, your, yourself etc.) from your exam. It takes away from the level of formality you must achieve.
Commented [SO4]: The conclusion must reinforce the thesis and not offer an unbiased solution.
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References
Pei, X. L., Guo, J. N., Wu, T. J., Zhou, W. X., & Yeh, S. P. (2020). Does the effect of customer
experience on customer satisfaction create a sustainable competitive advantage? A
comparative study of different shopping situations. Sustainability, 12(18), 7436.
https://doi.org/10.3390/su12187436
Taher, G. (2021). E-commerce: advantages and limitations. International Journal of Academic
Research in Accounting Finance and Management Sciences, 11(1), 153–165.
DOI:10.6007/ijarafms/v11-i1/8987
