we wrote a rhetorical essay on them which the prof ask me to do again because I'm not writing what was expected.

Members of the Portfolio Committee:

I greatly appreciate this opportunity to reflect on my writing and present my analysis to you. At this time, my writing has progressed in the following ways: I have developed a much more concrete concept of choosing the topic of my thesis statement; I have learned when to appropriately add outside sources to my position in order tostrengthen it; and I have discovered how to effectively target my audience.

The most significant way my writing has progressed this semester is through the development of my thesis statements; a critical aspect of essay writing, particularly in a field such as demanding as psychology. For example, in my initial essay titled Blue Collar Brilliance, Indeed

my original thesis statement was too broad and did nothing to make my stance on the subject obvious. In fact, my thesis statement was actually located in my fifth paragraph: “These perspectives are the symptoms of an archaic academic class system held over from when university degrees were a guaranteed means of achieving success to get ahead in life.” By simply rearranging these sentences I neatly defined my thesis and the entire essay. In our second assignment, which I named

The Television Disconnect, my thesis statement was firmly, if bluntly,

placed as the final sentence in my first paragraph. This made it very clear what my stance on the subject of television and popular culture was by stating, “While the subject itself is interesting and thoughtfully proposed ... (it was) ineffective and unconvincing.” It may be a far cry from an ideal thesis statement, but it’s certainly a step in the right direction.

Another way that I am becoming a more confident academic writer is

through the use of quotes and source citations. In my initial essay I was

encouraged to use quotes from Mike Rose, author of BlueCollar Brilliance in order to clarify my agreement with his stance that “intelligence is closely associated with formal education.” The simple addition of a few quotes not only showed that I had thoroughly read his work, it lent credibility to my own writing. On the other hand, while TheTelevision Disconnect was amply stocked with quotations from Steve Johnson’s chapter Watching TV Makes You Smarter, I discovered that a lack of outside source citations was needed to back up my claim that “an increasing population abandoning the habit of television watching that would fail to be impressed or moved by his logic.” In this case, a cited quote from Jim Edwards of Business Insider

was used to lend the credibility I needed. In short, my confidence as an academic writer has been boosted by learning how to present my ethos.

Finally, and most significantly, my ability to narrate to my audience has and will continue to improve. In Blue Collar Brilliance, Indeed, my audience was quite clearly those who sympathize with the plight of the bluecollar worker discriminated against because of their choice of education. I showed this by adding a personal story from my own family history and weaving it together with another example that had become a viral internet story. However it appeared that in The Television Disconnect I was less clear in who my audience was: I was instructed to make my argument appealing to the current generation of television viewers. To achieve this, I inserted several sentences that targeted the divide Mr Johnson attempted to create between generations. For example, I went into more detail regarding how older generations of tv viewers might be put off by his stance and how his justification of reality television programming and violent video games was patronizing to younger generations. Being clear who my audience is will, undoubtedly, help me to connect with them and effectively persuade them toward my position.

In conclusion, I believe my writing has already shown a great deal of

improvement. I have earned how to write stronger academic papers by

narrowing my thesis statement, adding outside sources, and effectively

targeting my audience. However, I feel I now need to focus on fleshing out my essays with tactics such as “the art of metacommentary,” as described in The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing: They Say, I Say, which will be covered in the second half of the semester. That, I feel, is an area where I need the greatest improvement in order to succeed as an academic writer