Email writing
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2018StrategiesinBusinessWritingDirectvsIndirectMessages12.pptxStrategies in Business Writing: Direct and Indirect Messages
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Defined
We see direct & indirect messages daily.
A “Direct” message gives the main point up front
An “Indirect” message buffers the main point, often sandwiching it between other points
Indirect Messages
Commonly used for the following:
Rejection Letters
Bad News Messages
Couldn’t get product/service to client
Won’t meet deadline
Have to say ‘no’ to an important request
Let’s look at how the Indirect & Direct Methods work
by looking at samples of rejection letters,
one of the most common ways the Indirect Method is used.
(Generic) Sample 1 of an INDIRECT (Rejection Letter)
Thank you for applying for Acme, Inc.’s marketing internship program in Blue Bell, PA. We are pleased to receive many excellent applicants from the prestigious Fox School of Business.
As you know, our internship is a two-month, fast-paced marketing research position requiring our interns to create, implement, and complete phone and internet-based surveys on each of six of our new products. This requires a special set of skills and experience to include knowledge of marketing research, the ability to organize time well, the skill of cold calling customers, and maintaining a 60 percent response rate on all the surveys.
We received 35 applicants for the one position and making our decision was difficult. Unfortunately, we cannot offer you the position at this time .
Again, thank you for considering Acme, Inc. in you r internship search. We wish you luck in your endeavors…
Review of Sample 1
What did you think of the ‘indirect strategy’ in Sample 1?
How might the reader respond? How would you respond to the letter?
Why do you think businesses frame the letters this way?
Do you think this is the most effective way?
(Generic) Sample 2 of a Rejection Letter
Thank you for applying for Acme, Inc.’s marketing internship program in Blue Bell, PA. We are pleased to receive many excellent applicants like you from the prestigious Fox School of Business.
Unfortunately, while we cannot offer you the internship position at this time, we know that you prepared well for the interview. Mary Smith and her team appreciated that you were able to provide us examples of surveys you have conceived and executed as part of your Seminar in Marketing Research.
Our decision was difficult because we had 35 fine applicants with many of the skills and experience we needed. We had to hone down our list by looking only at those candidates who had six months or more previous internship/work experience in relevant retail areas.
Thank you for considering Acme in your internship search. Thank you, too, for taking the time to understand our company, its mission, and its culture. That is another reason candidates from the Fox School are so effective at interviewing with Acme, Inc.
We wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.
Review of Sample 2
What did you think of the more direct strategy in Sample 2?
How might the reader respond? How would you respond to the letter?
Was this strategy more or less effective than the first one?
One more REAL-LIFE example to review (shared by one of our instructors). What do you think?
Dear John,
It has been a pleasure discussing with you the opportunities available at the Boston Beer Company. I know your time is valuable, and I truly appreciate both your time and interest in the company.
The response to the Project Manager position has been overwhelming and has made our decision very difficult.
At this time, we have decided to move forward with candidates whose qualifications most closely match our current business needs. Please continue to enjoy our great products. Checkout www.samadams.com for information on our cool promotions and to get some great recipes for cooking with Sam Adams.
Best of luck with your search.
Cheers! Jennifer Self Recruiter
What makes up an Indirect approach for Bad News
Generally 4 parts to Bad News Messages
BUFFER
REASONS/ BAD NEWS
BAD NEWS/ REASONS
CLOSING ( With a nice buffer)
Direct Email
Dear (person’s name or title and name)
Straight to the point
Reasons
Action
Thank you
More on Direct & Indirect
Let’s say you were asked to propose a hotel for your company’s sales meeting.
Example 2: More Indirect Approach
Per your request, I evaluated six hotels in the Center City area as a possible venue for our annual sales meeting. I looked specifically at price and the size of the meeting facilities, and I found the following:
Hotel # meeting rooms price point
Monaco 14 $8000
Chelsea 12 $12,000
Manhattan 10 $10,000
Derbyshire 8 $8,000
Phillips House 6 $5,000
Camden 5 $5,000
As you can see the Monaco has the most meeting rooms (important for our breakout sessions) for a medium price point.
Therefore, I recommend that we hold our Philadelphia sales meeting at the Monaco Hotel: the hotel is centrally located, has the best meeting facilities for our needs, and is moderately priced.
Example 1—Direct Approach
I recommend that we hold our Philadelphia sales meeting at the Monaco Hotel: the hotel is centrally located, has the best meeting facilities for our needs, and is moderately priced.
I evaluated six hotels in the Center City area, looking specifically at price and the size of the meeting facilities, and I found the following:
Hotel # meeting rooms price point
Monaco 14 $8000
Chelsea 12 $12,000
Manhattan 10 $10,000
Derbyshire 8 $8,000
Phillips House 6 $5,000
Camden 5 $5,000
Thus, we will have access to more meeting rooms (important for our breakout sessions) for a moderate price point.
Review of the two proposals
Which one did you find most effective—the indirect or the direct? Why?
To Sum Up…
While the “Indirect” method, with its ‘buffer’ may be useful because it—
Prepares readers for bad news
Provides reasons/background first to ‘ground’ the bad news
The “Direct” method, if used well, has the advantage of—
Putting the most important info first
Conciseness/succinctness
