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Running Head: HOW TO DEVELOP SELF-CONFIDENCE

HOW TO DEVELOP SELF-CONFIDENCE

Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hi, Hector! I’m Anna B. I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength: 

In my early years, I always struggled with problems of self-confidence. This is a reason I was not able to follow my dreams as I always feared that I could fail.

Main Idea/Thesis 

You do not present specific actions in your topic sentences; thus, the major steps to your process are not clearly established, making the entire process essay also weak and vague. A process analysis essay, Hector, aims to show how to achieve a certain goal. To achieve something, however, will typically entail action. Thus, the topic sentences will need to show specific behavior or acts that reflect the important steps. However, as an example, look at how you begin one of your paragraphs:

Self-image is very important for the improvement of self-confidence.

Self-image is just a concept or an abstract idea; how it’s a major step is unclear. Let’s say that my process analysis essay will focus on how to become less shy. Here’s one of my topic sentences:

Afterwards, the next step in coming out of one’s shell is to volunteer in activities one is interested in.

Volunteering is a very specific action, so it is clear in determining one of the ways to not be shy. To help you further, I highly recommend this link: Writing a Process Essay.

*Hector 9682345 has requested that you respond to the Introduction/Conclusion:   

Your draft lacks a conclusion, so your discussion has no proper closure. A conclusion is an essay’s final paragraph that summarizes and synthesizes the major discussion points or major steps to your process. However, your last paragraph is still one of the major steps: reducing procrastination. You leave your reader hanging, Hector. Go through the rest of the draft and identify what are the major steps in improving self-confidence. Then, use these critical points to make a summary that’s composed of at least four sentences to summarize the major steps. Then, to really end with a strong note, consider answering this question as well: Now that your reader has an idea of your chosen process, how should she or he look at self-confidence and how it can be improved now?

*Hector 9682345 has requested that you respond to the Sentence Structure:   

I notice sentences with two independent clauses that lack commas, so their ideas are unclear. Here’s one:

Knowing your principles and making sure that these principles are followed also help you to make good decisions about yourself and it will be important to in developing self-confidence.

When a sentence has two or more independent clauses (or complete sentences) with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so), a comma is needed before the conjunction. The conjunction links the two complete sentences together, but the lack of a comma makes them hard to identify. Look at this example:

Original: Students have different needs so teachers use various tools to assess them.

Revised: Students have different needs, so teachers use various tools to assess them.

Note how the comma makes the two independent clauses clear from each other now, Hector. Going back to your sentence, where can you place the comma? Look for other sentences with the same issue and correct those, too.

  Summary of Next Steps: 

· Reflect specific or concrete major steps of improving self-confidence in topic sentences. 

· Make a concluding paragraph.

· Place commas before coordinating conjunctions in sentences with two or more independent clauses.

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day, Hector! – Anna B.

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking Writer's Handbook.

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Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

How to Develop Self-Confidence

Academic Writing I ENG-121-OL06

Estrada, Hector

September 3, 2017

Mark Parlette

How to Develop Self-Confidence

Many people have struggled with self-confidence. It is a major reason as to why a lot of people do not reach their full potential. In my early years, I always struggled with problems of self-confidence. This is a reason I was not able to follow my dreams as I always feared that I could fail. To succeed, one has to make sure that he or she overcomes the problem of fear, which inhibits progress. For development and attainment of a person’s potential, taking control of his or her own self-confidence is important. To overcome fear and develop self-confidence, there are numerous things one has to do. [ This sentence is a weak thesis statement because your process of improving self-confidence is so vague, Hector. A process thesis statement needs specific major steps to show how to achieve a goal like this example: One can have a more effective and safer barbell squat when remembering to have the appropriate weights, the correct starting position, and the proper form executing the squat. What then are the major steps to take for your reader to increase her or his self-confidence?] Anyone has the potential of becoming worthy of respect and all people can pursue their goals however wild they may seem.

To develop your self-confidence, there are very important steps to for you to take. First, making sure that you are presentable is very important and it starts with grooming yourself. This may seem to be very obvious but making sure that you are clean and looking good is important. This can turn your mood in an amazing manner. [Amazing is a very imprecise word, Hector. A more substantial and definite adjective may be more appropriate to describe how grooming can improve one’s mood.] Also, always, making sure that you put on nice clothes can boost your self-confidence to amazingly high levels. When dressed well, a person always feels good himself or herself.

Self-image is very important for the improvement of self-confidence. Self-image has a very big impact on a person. To improve self-confidence, changing how you view yourself will be very essential.

Next, it will be good to be positive. Positivity helps in developing good ways of dealing with challenges. Replacement of negative thoughts with positive ones will help in the development of self-confidence. [Your discussion is also very vague in showing how one can improve self-confidence; a process analysis essay must provide specific, solid descriptive details to help your reader understand what actions and behaviors to take to reach a certain goal. What can she or he do to replace negative thoughts with positive ones? Go through the entire draft and determine more specific details.]

The next step is for you to understand yourself before trying to continue. Whenever a person is entering into a war, the first step is to understand the enemy. In this case, the issue to be tackled is self-confidence and that means understanding your strengths and weaknesses will help you a lot during the process. Listening to your own thoughts is a requirement.

In addition, acting in a positive way everyday will improve self-confidence as you will feel that you have achieved something. Also, it is good to be kind and generous as this improves your good feelings about yourself. Kindness and generosity is a very good way to improve self-image. Additionally, there is the need for good preparedness. It is difficult for one to be confident if he or she is not prepared. Preparation will be very important in ensuring that your confidence is boosted.

Knowing your principles and making sure that these principles are followed also help you to make good decisions about yourself and it will be important to in developing self-confidence. Other steps include speaking slowly as it is a show of command and confidence. Also, increasing competence is a requirement too. This can be acquired through studying and practicing more.

Setting small goals and making sure that these goals are achieved on a daily basis is important in the development of self –confidence. In addition, self-confidence will be improved through empowering yourself by having knowledge. [You’ll also need to properly end your paragraphs. You can do this with closing sentences that reflect the major steps. Consider this question to make your closing sentences: What again is one of the major steps to improve one’s self-confidence?]

Finally, you have to work on procrastination. Procrastination will kill your self-confidence. If you can do something today, never push it to the next day. After accomplishing a certain activity, you always feel good about yourself and this is good in the improvement of self-confidence.