Proofreading and editing

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to

overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

As I migrated to the United States, I struggle a lot financially & language barrier.

Reaching my American Dream has a lot of challenges. I went back to square one. My

family is living in one room with two beds inside. We are all crowded because we are

three people in one place. I saw how my mom and dad struggle w working two jobs to

support our family. I notice how my dad sleeps four hours a day. As I pay a visit to my

mom where she is working as a housekeeper, I saw how hard it was for her. She is

sweating as she mops the floor. She then told me, "My dear no matter how many

failures you experience, don't give up finishing your college, I don't want you to mop the

floor like me, I want you to work at the office someday." I smiled at my mom because I

don't like her to see that I'm affected, but as I turn around my tears started falling. The

words that she mentions makes me a stronger person. As I got to school English barrier

becomes my number one antagonist. I was a bird out of wings. There's a lot of

occurrences like failures in life, getting low grades and dropping my class. I used a

dictionary and translator to survive. I always pay attention in classes, but I was barely

breathing in my academics. My professor will ask for my initial; I would answer my full

name. My classmates will laugh. They thought I'm an alien from the extraterrestrial

planet Jupiter. I confused denominator from the monitor, I pronounce fish as a face,

my classmate would laugh, I would smile back, at least I can make them happy because

of my phonetic sounds. I decide to enroll at ESL to improve my skills.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Every day I wake up 5:00 am in the cold weather, I walk 30 minutes to be at the bus

stop, It took me 2 hours to be at school because the bus goes around the city. As I was

sitting the bus, I saw the serendipity view of Simi Valley; I saw cars and glamorous

homes. I look at heaven and pray, "I hope someday I can give a good life to help my

family." My life wasn't easy but one thing I knew, I won't give up on achieving my

dreams. Someday I'll make my parents proud, and someday I will tell my mom how a

good business with my own office. Thou, life wasn't easy, I did my best to get involved

with the community. I volunteer at the hospital for less than one year. I sell a t-shirt to

support female with cancer. One thing I notice about the patients at the hospital is that

they never give up in life just like me, I don't have the fatal condition, but I can say my

grades are like stage 4 cancer, because of the five classes I drop. The bad thing is

giving up just because I experience stage 4 crisis on my transcript. Besides

volunteering, I also get involved at school, I become an Announcement Editor at

Moorpark College for my internship. My responsibility involves increasing students

awareness about resources available for them. It feels good to help other people

suceed in college, I become a voice for people who don't know that there's a lot of

opportunities, like financial help and tutoring to suceed in their college life. I create

marketing platforms for each department. One of the biggest problem in school is

students not knowing what resources available for them. What if I send a newsletter to

the student once or twice a week to encourage students to be involved with school

activities? I create an excellent marketing platform for students in a way they will be

encouraged to participate in school activities. It is ironic how the girl like me who can't

pronounce an English word becomes a voice to many people. I notice when I was an

Announcement Editor is that there's a lot of opportunities everywhere, people just need

to know and learn about it, this reminds me of the country I grew up, the Philippines.

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes

you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

My country, the Philippines is rich in environmental resources and talented people. The

surprising fact is that we outsource in a different country to get products. In this century,

it is not impossible for me to help small business. When I become a successful

businesswoman, I want to give back to many people by using my talent in

communication and my skill to connect with their stories . I want to introduce advanced

technology to many Filipinos and this way they can produce more goods and sell more.

Instead of the Philippines outsourcing to many countries, I want to turn the table. I want

my country to be one of the biggest country exporting goods worldwide. Although my

transferable GPA is 3.40 and I have drop 5 classes, which isn't my best potential

because I used to work more than 40 hours a week at a hospital and there are times

It's hard to balance my education. I'm still optimistic about my dreams and future, I don't

let my failures get on my way. One important thing I learned growing up in an Asian

Country is that experiencing failure and having a mistake in life is not a bad thing, you

just have to learn from it. Be positive and most importantly never give up. I bring the

same drive in my life, I have a positive mindset, I'm optimistic about the future and most

importantly I don't give up. I saw a lot of people experience failing as I do, they are

halfway of graduating a degree unfortunately when they failed it's like the end of their

world and they give up on school, with me I decided to continue and still be positive in

life for my mom and dad and hopes to help other people. Each day there would be

new challenges at school, work, and life; one important key is my perseverance in

achieving my goal. On the top of things can happen out of the blue bringing

unanticipated issues in our life, it might look insurmountable, but Iknow someday

everything will be worth it, I just keep my hope and optimism alive and I will use it

impact people by helping. Most importantly I will used my determination to make all of

my dreams work.