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13Social Roles and Relationships

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Learning Objectives

After completing this chapter, you should be able to:

• Outline how early relationships develop and differentiate among early patterns of play.

• Describe how the structure and activities of peer groups shape development during adolescence.

• Appraise the value of changing roles during adulthood.

• Consider various adult family relationships.

• Outline how marriages change over the lifespan.

• Summarize the effects of divorce on those involved.

• Name types of parenting styles and their associations with discipline and culture.

• Summarize how family structure has evolved and how the changes contribute to differences in development over the lifespan.

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Prologue

Chapter Outline

Prologue

13.1 Play and Peer Groups in Early Childhood Categories of Play Culture and Play

13.2 Friendships and Peer Behavior During Childhood and Adolescence Peer Groups Peer Acceptance and Status Peer Aggression and Bullying

13.3 Social Roles and Relationships in Adulthood Social Support in Adulthood Differences Between Men and Women

13.4 Beginning a Family: Adult Partners Cohabitation Gay and Lesbian Families Childless Couples

13.5 Marriage Success in Marriage Marriage in Middle and Later Adulthood Marriage and Health

13.6 Divorce Legacy of Divorce Remarriage Blended Families

13.7 Parenting Parenting Styles Cultural and Contextual Variations in Parenting and Discipline

13.8 Generational Changes in Family Structure Secular Changes and the Home Environment The Empty Nest Children as Caregivers: The Sandwich Generation Grandparents Helicopter Parents

Summary & Resources

Prologue For Ed and Ellie, remaining interdependent while pursuing individual interests was key to their successful, 59-year marriage. They agreed on their roles during the early years of their marriage and slowly made compromises as family and financial needs changed. They had an

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Section 13.1 Play and Peer Groups in Early Childhood

agreeable, highly functional division of labor in which Ed played the role of breadwinner and Ellie was dedicated to being a traditional homemaker and raising their three children. Impor- tantly, they were both satisfied with their respective roles in the marriage and agreed on their future paths as a couple and as a family.

On average, couples today have different expectations of married life than those of Ed and Ellie’s generation. They are often cohabiting in lieu of marriage, getting married later in life, postponing childbearing (or abandoning the idea altogether), and achieving more equity in economic and household responsibilities. Yet, marriage remains a common event in the life course that helps define who we are and spurs new roles and relationships.

Erikson would say that a committed spousal relationship is a kind of culmination of early psychosocial development (see Chapter 11). After initial attachment relationships, we begin to interact with peers through play. It is not long before we start to integrate more emotional connections and share our selves with friends. Indeed, the level of emotional closeness often determines who our friends are. As we learned in the two previous chapters, our sense of self and identity are woven within these psychosocial experiences. Therefore, in this chapter, we will expand the discussion of relationships and examine those based on friendships and family ties. Ultimately, we will see how roles and social norms evolve over the course of the lifespan, as they did for Ed and Ellie.

13.1 Play and Peer Groups in Early Childhood While attachment fulfills the need for early contact, children soon begin to form connections outside of the family. The process of play contributes to the building of relationships both inside and outside of the family. Play is generally an intrinsically motivated, voluntary activ- ity that provides amusement, pleasure, or recreation. No single conceptualization of play can incorporate the many different theoretical and applied perspectives, but psychologists agree that it is essential to optimal development. In mapping human rights obligations, the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights recognizes play as a birthright of every child, on par with the right to health and nutrition, education, an adequate standard of living, and protection from violence (United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child [CRC], 1989; Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, 2013).

Play contributes to every developmental domain. As we saw in Chapter 5, different aspects of play can facilitate both gross and fine motor abilities. Piaget, J., & Cook, M. T. (1952) implied that cognitive structures (schemas) were represented by neural networks that were devel- oped through experience, including play and discovery. Modern neuroscience is finding that this is indeed the case (Frost, 1998; Kolb, 2009). Animal studies indicate that play contrib- utes to development of the prefrontal cortex of the brain. Along with observed behavior in humans, animal models suggest that organization and executive function is enhanced by play, contributing to increases in emotional control, improved attention, more mature decision making, and later enhancement of peer relationships and adult social competence (Bell, Pel- lis, & Kolb, 2010; Kolb et al., 2010; Pellis, Pellis, & Bell, 2010; Shaheen, 2014). Effects are espe- cially strong for free play, including rough-and-tumble play (Pellis & Pellis, 2007).

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Section 13.1 Play and Peer Groups in Early Childhood

Most toddlers and preschoolers develop favored associations based on shared interest in toys and activities. Not surprisingly, older preschoolers socialize more and have more friends than their younger counterparts. However, even for young children, friends are distinct from non-friends. Interactions with friends occur more frequently and are more complex than are interactions with non-friends (Bagwell & Schmidt, 2011). Throughout childhood, friends are more likely than non-friends to have conflicts with one another and are also more likely to resolve them positively. Perhaps this outcome is due to the increased investment that friends have, since non-friends have less to lose if they simply walk away (Hartup & Abecassis, 2002).

Play and peer relationships quickly become essential components of healthy psychosocial development. Conversely, lack of social play impedes healthy development and can even dis- proportionately affect children who face socioeconomic obstacles (Milteer, Ginsburg, Mulli- gan, & Council on Communications and Media Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health, 2012). While playing, children learn both interpersonal skills like sharing, societal norms, and values and intrapersonal skills like self-regulation. The ways in which children begin to play by themselves and with others offers another perspective on cognitive and social advances that occur throughout childhood.

Categories of Play At first, children choose friends according to activities. Personal qualities are less important than what friends do together. One way of categorizing play is by the purpose and type of stimulation it provides. The majority of preschoolers spend their free time in functional play. They enjoy repetitive activities that facilitate practice with both fine and gross motor movements. There are not necessarily any goals in mind; there is just activity for its own sake. Pounding or rolling clay, running around and jumping on furniture, and playing with sand or water are all examples of functional play. Deficits in functional play are often associated with developmental delays, including those associated with autism (Christensen et al., 2010; Wong & Kasari, 2012).

In later preschool, children gradually become more interested in produc- tion. This change is consistent with Erikson’s stage of initiative versus guilt (see Chapter 11). Children now want sand to represent an object or idea; games have a goal; a puzzle is worked to completion; pillows and household objects are made into a shelter. These activities are indicative of construc- tive play. The preschool/early child- hood years also include a fair amount of pretend play. Acting out a movie, playing house, taking an imaginary trip, and using hand puppets are examples of pretend play. Pretend play allows children to process emotions, develop language, and create inner thoughts and a rich imagination. Higher levels of

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Pretend play allows children to cultivate inner thoughts and a rich imagination.

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Section 13.1 Play and Peer Groups in Early Childhood

pretend play are associated with increased levels of interpersonal communication and social engagement. Therefore, it makes sense that children with autism exhibit less complexity and frequency of pretend play (Hobson, Hobson, Malik, Bargiota, & Caló, 2013).

Another way to categorize play is by its social aspects. Mildred Parten (1932) identified six types of play based on the amount of interaction each had. Unoccupied play occurs when children do little but wander or observe in a way that appears unfocused. In contrast, soli- tary play involves focus and motivation. Children remain unconcerned with what others are doing, but show interest in independent activity. This is a common activity among children 2 to 3 years old. When toddlers are not directly involved in play with others, but socially partici- pate through observation or conversation, they display onlooker play.

Parten coined the term parallel play to refer to the stage during which children play beside one another but do not jointly cooperate. For example, two 3-year-olds will build separate block structures without sharing either blocks or labor. Playmates will imitate each other and talk about their processes, but they remain absorbed in their own activities and do not try to influence each other. As a percentage of time, parallel play occurs most frequently during the early preschool years.

At about 3 years of age, preschoolers interact more with their playmates. Associative play occurs when two or more children actively engage each other but are not necessarily dependent on the other’s cooperation. For instance, while building with blocks, children who are playing associatively might make suggestions to each other and share unused items, but do not construct together. When a number of children are playing together in a sandbox, playmates may enter and exit the area without notice. Roles are not defined, but social interaction is becoming more sophisticated.

By the time children enter kindergarten at age 5 or so, most will engage in cooperative play. Children have roles and engage in reciprocal activities like sharing and taking turns. They cooperate to achieve a common goal. Children who are using building blocks will collaborate on a project and help each other “finish” a structure.

Critical Thinking

How many concepts related to early development are referenced in the feature box, “Psychology in Action: Enhancing Cognitive Development Through Play”?

Psychology in Action: Enhancing Cognitive Development Through Play

There are simple, inexpensive, non-electronic ways to enhance play and cognitive develop- ment in early childhood. Toddlers love the simplistic. Balls and bubbles, sand and water (and mud!) make for easy, inexpensive activities. Although play should be enjoyed in its own right, this kind of play also “teaches” about wind currents, friction, resistance, texture, and so forth. Toy cars teach children about motion and gravity.

Playmates, even new children at the park, encourage self-regulation, empathy, sharing, follow- ing rules, and verbal communication. Collecting leaves teaches colors, counting, and biology. It also encourages curiosity and trips to the library or the computer.

(continued)

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Section 13.2Friendships and Peer Behavior During Childhood and Adolescence

Culture and Play Compared to individualistic cultures, collectivistic societies incorporate more touching and cooperation, and active children are more willing to include those who are quiet (Chen, DeSouza, Chen, & Wang, 2006; Roopnarine, Hossain, Gill, & Brophy, 1994). Subcultural dif- ferences exist, as well. For example, among American preschoolers, those of Korean descent engage in more parallel play and less pretend play than their Anglo counterparts. However, as the children became more acculturated, they take on more of the play characteristics of Anglo children (Farver, Kim, & Lee-Shin, 1995; Farver & Lee-Shin, 2000).

Play is also quite different when we consider the environment in much of the developing world, where over half the world’s children live. In large parts of Southeast Asia, Sub-Saharan Africa, and other regions, children are unsupervised and left to their own devices for a great part of the day. Siblings are the primary supervisors for younger children. It is not unusual to see toddlers playing by themselves in fields or next to roads. Because there is little structure, it is typical for multiple age groups to play together, unlike in the United States and other Western societies. However, there is little research in this area, other than on the cognitive and physical effects of poverty.

Section Review Explain how play becomes more sophisticated throughout childhood.

When play is restricted to only planned activities, it discourages imagination and creativity, whereas free play facilitates attention and concentration. Even though a large bucketful of good wooden blocks or Legos may be expensive, these simple toys provide countless opportunities to experiment and understand mathematical relationships of weight, balance, and length.

Paper towel rolls, boxes, and plastic bottles (that are free of sharp edges and tops that can be swallowed) can be repurposed for creative activity. In the same way that merely talking more provides an easy way to encourage language development, providing inexpensive opportuni- ties for play enhances every developmental domain.

13.2 Friendships and Peer Behavior During Childhood and Adolescence

In later elementary school, friendships consist of more than simply a “handy playmate” (Damon, 1977). They are more complex and include the added dimension of trust. Social competency at this stage is associated with later adjustment and overall school success. Con- versely, children who are argumentative and aggressive and have poor self-regulation skills generally have fewer friends. These negative social outcomes are associated with less class- room participation, poorer learning, and less overall enjoyment of school (Eggum-Wilkens et al., 2014; Rudasill, Niehaus, Buhs, & White, 2013).

Psychology in Action: Enhancing Cognitive Development Through Play (continued)

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Section 13.2Friendships and Peer Behavior During Childhood and Adolescence

During middle school and into adolescence, there is an increased focus on personal qualities, while preference for peer companions over adults accelerates. These advancements coincide with the continuing development of self-concept and awareness of the needs of others. The transition from an orientation toward activity to one based on communication is solidified and reciprocated kindness becomes an increasingly important part of friendship. Friends now share thoughts, hypothesize about future goals, commiserate, and become emotionally intimate. Self-disclosure increases as teenagers pursue loyalty, affection, and psychological closeness (Damon, 1977; Hartup & Abecassis, 2002). The benefits of positive friendships are again reflected in behavioral outcomes. Especially among boys, adolescents who are more empathic and positive have better quality friendships; those with a poorer understanding of reciprocity and other friendship needs have a higher risk of delinquency (Oberle, Schonert- Reichl, & Thomson, 2010; Walsh & Kurdek, 1984). Friends tend to be alike in level of psycho- social maturity, educational values, political beliefs, and moral behavior, including willing- ness to take drugs and break the law (Jones, Vaterlaus, Jackson, & Morrill, 2013; Schwartz & Pantin, 2006).

Peer Groups Peer associations are reflected not just in individual friendships. A peer group can provide an important kind of social organization during childhood, influencing behavior and thinking. It is comprised of others who are of a similar age and share interests. Individuals in peer groups typically share a similar social status as well. For most, adolescence coincides with a desire for this kind of belongingness, which often includes cliques and crowds. Cliques are groups of about 3 to 10 members. They share interests and activities, and they “hang out” together. They can form earlier, but are particularly prominent during adolescence. Cliques are segregated initially by sex and are more common among groups of girls. By mid-adolescence, though, it is not unusual to see mixed-sex cliques. There are “jocks,” “skaters,” “druggies,” and others. Cliques are used for social referencing and, therefore, are integrated with identity formation (Henrich, Kupermine, Sack, Blatt, & Leadbeater, 2000; Martin, Bruner, Eys, & Spink, 2014).

Cliques are more exclusive than larger, more loosely constructed crowds. Crowd members do not always socialize regularly. They are less personal than cliques and are based more on rep- utation and generalized perception of activities rather than common interests. For instance, a large group of children who have known each other since elementary school share values and perhaps a reputation for academic skill. They may break into small groups at lunch or after school, but the make-up of the small groups may vary. Regardless, members are gen- erally friendly and inclusive with the entire crowd. Like cliques, members use each other to assess group norms and guide identity. Therefore, crowds are associated with both protective factors and risky behavior (Bobakova, Geckova, Klein, van Dijk, & Reijneveld, 2013; Verkooijen, de Vries, & Nielsen, 2007). As college students are well aware, cliques and crowds nearly disappear after high school.

Peer Acceptance and Status Because of its close association with identity development, adolescence is also a time of more intense focus on acceptance and status. Some children are well liked, whereas others become unpopular or withdrawn. Differences in popularity are reflected in what developmental

Critical Thinking

Were you ever in a clique or a crowd? Did you know it at the time? How did it enhance or impede your development?

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Section 13.2Friendships and Peer Behavior During Childhood and Adolescence

psychologists call status, which can typically be applied to children in middle grades of ele- mentary school through the end of high school. Though it may appear obvious to peers why a particular person is well liked or not, as scientists we want to systematically examine how judgments about peers are formed. In the most common method of assessment, children are asked to nominate peers they like and do not like and to identify who they believe are the most and least popular peers.

Popular children are generally academically and socially competent compared to other sta- tuses. They typically communicate well and show leadership ability. They tend to move in and out of social groups easily and help set the rules for group behavior. The majority of popular children tend to be kind and cooperative and engage in more prosocial behavior than their peers (Cillessen & Rose, 2005; Newcomb, Bukowski, & Pattee, 1993). There is also a sub- group that is more belligerent. They are identified as “cool” and “tough,” are athletic and, as a group, are below average academically (Rodkin & Roisman, 2010). Youth who are perceived as popular are strategically both aggressive and cooperative. It may seem counterintuitive that popular children are aggressive, but perhaps they use it against those who threaten their high social status (Kuryluk, Cohen, & Audley-Piotrowski, 2011).

Rejected children receive many negative and few positive peer nominations. They fall into two types: Disruptive, impulsive, and aggressive—often leading to delinquency—or simply withdrawn. They are much less socially competent than popular children and have fewer friends (Lansford, Malone, Dodge, Pettit, & Bates, 2010; Newcomb et al., 1993). Research on withdrawn types has found that they tend to “hover” over other children and then choose inopportune times to enter the group. This behavior violates rules and is therefore disruptive. Rejected children also show increased emotional problems such as depression and have the lowest cognitive measures of any status (Bierman, Kalvin, & Heinrichs, 2014; Coie, Dodge, & Kupersmidt, 1990).

The behavior of controversial children represents a combination of traits from popular and rejected children. They receive many positive but also many negative ratings, matching their mixed behavior; they are the least homogeneous of the status groups (Newcomb et al., 1993). Though they are more aggressive on average, controversial children are nevertheless skilled socially and cognitively. Like aggressive popular children, controversial children will sometimes engage in manipulative and calculated aggression to sustain a higher social status (DeRosier & Thomas, 2003). Their above-average social skills lead them to have more roman- tic partners in early adolescence. However, they also are more likely to be influenced by the negative behaviors of those romantic partners, including delinquency (Miller et al., 2009).

As the label implies, neglected children receive relatively few positive or negative nomina- tions. They play alone more often than others and therefore are relatively less aggressive and less disruptive than other statuses (Hymel, Vaillancourt, McDougall, & Renshaw, 2004; New- comb et al., 1993). It is the least stable status and may last only until the children become more comfortable in their surroundings. As such, there is no foundation to suggest that neglected children represent a strong at-risk group. They may appear less social and more withdrawn, but they have a relatively low incidence of depression (Rubin et al., 2006).

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Peer Aggression and Bullying In general, children and teenagers of all ages prefer relationships with peers who are kind, helpful, friendly, and complementary. As children move beyond concrete thinking into ado- lescence, they add humor, loyalty, and intimacy as important relationship attributes. Young children and teenagers alike tend to want to avoid peers who are aggressive, critical, and dishonest.

In contrast, bullying occurs when children feel they cannot defend themselves against repeated aggression. The aggressive incidents can be verbal or physical and always involve a power imbalance (Olweus, 2010). If a child is injured by a peer of about the same strength (as in a fight) or is not victimized repeatedly, psychologists do not define it as bullying, which can create controversy in some antibullying campaigns (for example, see Finkelhor, Turner, & Hamby, 2012). About one quarter to one third of children are involved in bullying behaviors and about 10% are victimized on a regular basis, a figure that has remained fairly steady even as increased resources have been committed to combating the problem (Isolan, Salum, Osowski, Zottis, & Manfro, 2013; Kim, Boyce, Koh, & Leventhal, 2009; Nansel et al., 2001).

Demonstrating the importance of examining contextual variables in bullying, children are more likely to become both victims and bullies when they come from chaotic or dysfunc- tional family environments. Before acting out in school, bullies are more likely to have been maltreated at home. Intervention programs that focus on forming friendships have been par- ticularly successful for these children (Fox & Boulton, 2006; Ttofi, Bowes, Farrington, & Lösel, 2014). Evidence is fairly consistent that higher paren- tal involvement is associated with less bullying overall (e.g., Abdirahman, Fleming, & Jacobsen, 2013; Bowes, Maughan, Caspi, Moffitt, & Arseneault, 2010).

Types of Bullying Involvement Although it would seem that bullying and victimization are mutually exclusive, they are not. In addition to bullies and victims, up to one half of all victims are also bullies. Though evidence is not conclusive, bully-victims are considered a distinctive group that has been found to have the highest risk of academic and psychosocial problems (Isolan et al., 2013; Juvonen, Graham, & Schuster, 2003; Leiner et al., 2014). Both bullying and victimization are associated with a host of physical and psychological problems—most notably, anxiety, depression, and suicide (Chang et al., 2014; DeSmet et al., 2014; van Geel, Vedder, & Tanilon, 2014). Victims particu- larly are lonely, have lower self-esteem than average, experience more distress, and share traits with rejected children, like school avoidance (Paul & Cillessen, 2003; Wang, Nansel &

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Though cyberbullying is a new form of peer victimization, recent data show that the number of cases is consistent with in-person occurrences.

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Section 13.2Friendships and Peer Behavior During Childhood and Adolescence

Iannotti, 2011). One British longitudinal study found that adults who had been victimized as children remained at risk for a wide range of negative psychosocial, physical, and economic factors five decades after being victimized Takizawa, R., Maughan, B., & Arseneault, L. (2014).

A newer form of peer victimization is cyberbullying, or online Internet victimization. It involves a high degree of psychological violence and is probably influenced sometimes by its potentially anonymous nature (Hamm et al., 2015; Valkenburg & Peter, 2011). Cyberbullying was a relatively infrequent phenomenon only a few years ago, accounting for barely 3% of reported cases in 2011. Probably due to the proliferation of smartphones in schools, recent data show that between one quarter and one third of secondary students are involved, as victims, bullies, or both, a proportion that is now consistent with in-person numbers. These figures are somewhat consistent in France, Taiwan, Turkey, the United States, and elsewhere (Chang et al., 2014; Hamm et al., 2015; Kowalski & Limber, 2013; Kubiszewski, Fontaine, Huré, & Rusch, 2013). Being victimized online is often an extension of in-person victimization, as up to 96% of online victims have reported being victimized in person. Therefore, it is not consid- ered a unique phenomenon, just a different way to deliver aggression (Hertz & David-Ferdon, 2011; Mitchell, Finkelhor, Wolak, Ybarra, & Turner, 2011).

Interventions Norwegian psychologist Dan Olweus has been at the forefront of intervention programs since his pioneering research on bullies began in the 1970s. Most prevention efforts continue to be based on his Olweus Bullying Prevention Program (OBPP), which focuses on improving the social climate at school and teaching adults how to get involved when they see bullying behavior (Olweus, 1993). Programs generally attempt to increase awareness, promote the understanding of consequences, and teach children how to actively defend peers who are targeted.

Unfortunately, little evidence indicates that current methods significantly stop bullying on a large scale (Merrell, Gueldner, Ross, & Isava, 2008; Smith, Schneider, Smith, & Ananiadou, 2004). Although many modern versions of OBPP include community components, it is sug- gested that bullying is better understood within the larger contextual view, like Bronfen- brenner’s ecological systems model. For instance, we see that the social contextual environ- ment affects individual characteristics of aggression, which are involved in bullying (Hong & Espelage, 2012). That is, children growing up in certain environments are socialized to be more aggressive, and that aggression is sometimes channeled into bullying. Instead of imple- menting policies that focus on awareness and consequences of bullying, others suggest there be more collaborative community efforts. These could include building relationships with law enforcement, strengthening communication between schools and home, and holding parent meetings and trainings. Interventions that consistently focus on the social ecological context appear to be more scientifically supported (Hong & Espelage, 2012; Swearer & Hymel, 2015).

Section Review Outline the peer groups and other social influences that can affect childhood and adolescent development.

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Section 13.3 Social Roles and Relationships in Adulthood

13.3 Social Roles and Relationships in Adulthood As we move into adulthood, social roles and relationships define us: employee, romantic part- ner, spouse, friend, grandparent. Each role contributes to identity development and has an accompanying set of norms and expectations about how to behave. Social norms accom- pany roles and are generally seen as central to maintaining social order. Norms tell us what is socially acceptable in a particular situation. There are unwritten rules about how to behave if you are a student, an employee or supervisor, a son, a patient, or even a member of an after- work athletic team. As people move from one group to another, social norms govern their behavior, and their behavior changes accordingly. If you go to a medical clinic to get treated for an illness, you are likely to use the formal title of “doctor” when you speak to the physician; if you instead meet the same person at a friend’s party, you may be introduced to the physi- cian by first name. Most people do not even pay attention to how their behavior changes as they interact in different social situations.

Early adulthood is normally a time of transition because there are more changes in social roles than in any other period of adult life. The most important developmental tasks for young adults in U.S. culture usually involve moving out of their parent’s home, starting a career, and forming a long-term relationship, leading to marriage and family. However, roles transition across generations and across different life stages. Recall, for instance, the stage of emerging adulthood (see Chapter 1) that was recently proposed to describe the lack of a “typical” trajec- tory for contemporary young adults in the United States (and now in other parts of the world, as well). It introduces the idea that young adults now need more time to make family, occu- pational, and educational decisions than prior generations did (Arnett, 2011). Compared to previous generations, this age group experiences more moves, is less committed to romantic partners, attends college at a higher rate, and is less independent. In other words, their adult roles have changed.

The concept of emerging adulthood has coincided with other changes in social norms. For instance, more people than ever before are postponing having children and getting mar- ried; more women are continuing their education and entering the workforce; more young adults in the United States live at home than at any time in recent history (U.S. Census Bureau, 2015a). Other developed countries show similar trends (Eurostat, 2015; ONS, 2014). Contrib- uting to the upsurge is the number of young adults attending school, which has seen a rise of 50% in the last 30 years (see Figure 13.1).

The vast majority of adults does establish independent households and settle into long-term relationships. When adults have children, their social circles usually shrink and become more concentrated among parents with similar family values. As middle adulthood approaches, children become more independent, and the role of parent transitions. We may take on new family roles as grandparents or caregivers for aging parents. Most middle-age adults still have demanding work roles, but they are more likely to have settled into a final career path. Some people will reevaluate their roles at this stage (Levinson, 1986). Recalling the midlife task of generativity (see Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development discussed in Chapter 11), adults whose children have left home may take on more community responsibilities.

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Year

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a) 18- to 24-year-olds living with parents, 1960–2007

b) 18- to 24-year olds in school, 1950–2007

Section 13.3 Social Roles and Relationships in Adulthood

In later adulthood, roles shift again as people retire from their careers or substantially change their work routines. Their paid work role may transition into part-time work or volunteering, but, in general, demanding roles decrease. This era ushers in new roles, like being depended on for company during a daily walk or as a member of a game-playing group. Older adults who have multiple roles report higher life satisfaction than those who have few roles (Adel- mann, 1994; Tamakoshi, Ikeda, Fujino, Tamakoshi, & Iso, 2013).

Social Support in Adulthood More than other factors, adult friends value reciprocal loyalty, companionship, and closeness (Hall, 2011). They rely on each other for both emotional (e.g., talking through a problem) and behavioral (e.g., helping a friend with a project) interchange. The degree to which dif- ferent combinations of friends and family provide value at any particular life stage has been described as a social convoy. A convoy provides protection and support during a journey, much the same as friends do in life. The constellation of a person’s social convoy is likely to change as the person develops over time. Young adults are likely to have a wide variety of people in their convoy, while older adults will have a higher proportion of family members (Antonucci, Ajrouch, & Birditt, 2013; Antonucci, Akiyama, & Takahashi, 2004).

Figure 13.1: Trends in postsecondary school attendance among 18- to

24-year-olds

Recent trends in living arrangements and postsecondary school attendance highlight how the transition to adulthood has changed.

Source: Based on U.S. Census Bureau, 1960 Census of Population, PC(2)-4B, Table 2; 1970 Census of Population, PC(2)-4B, Table 2; 1980 Census of Population, PC80-2-4B, Table 4; Current Population Survey, March and Annual Social Economic Supplements, 1990, 2000, and 2007; Current Population Survey, October, 1961, 1970, 1980, 1990, 2000, 2007. Retrieved from http://www.census.gov /population/www/socdemo/hh-fam/cps2011.html

Year

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Year

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1970 1980 2000 20071950

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a) 18- to 24-year-olds living with parents, 1960–2007

b) 18- to 24-year olds in school, 1950–2007

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Son/ Daughter

Mother

Male Friend

Father

Mother

Female Friend

Spouse YOU

Daughter Son

Mother

Female Friend

Sister

Brother

Sister/Female Friend/Brother

Spouse YOU

Mother Son

Spouse

Brother

Female Friend

Daughter YOU

Mother Son

Spouse

Sister

Brother

Sister/Female Friend/Brother

DaughterYOU

Sister Female Friend

Female Friend

JAPAN Inner–4.1 Middle–3.2 Outer–0.7

USA Inner–4.0 Middle–3.0 Outer–0.9

Convoy Composition for Age 20–39

Convoy Composition for Age 40–59

JAPAN Inner–4.1 Middle–2.7 Outer–0.8

USA Inner–3.9 Middle–3.2 Outer–0.9

Section 13.3 Social Roles and Relationships in Adulthood

In a comparison of American and Japanese adults living in urban areas, researchers found that age, significantly more than gender or culture, affected changes in the composition of social convoys (Antonucci et al., 2004). For instance, the “inner circle” of close relationships for young adults in both groups consisted of spouse, mother, and children (see Figure 13.2). During middle adulthood, both groups named the mother less frequently and daughters and spouses became closer. Friends remain instrumental and become relatively closer in late adulthood, especially for females and their female friends. Because researchers have observed consistent developmental trajectories, they have suggested that there is a “culturally univer- sal” aspect underlying relationships throughout adulthood (Antonucci et al., 2004, p. 356).

Figure 13.2: The convoy model

Age, more than culture, determines the people we remain close to over time. In these diagrams, the inner circles represent closer relationships.

Source: From Antonucci, T., Akiyama, H., & Takahashi, K. (2004). Attachment and close relationships across the life span. Attachment & Human Development, 6(4), 353–370. Copyright © 2004 Routledge. Reprinted by permission of Taylor & Francis Ltd ( http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals).

Son/ Daughter

Mother

Male Friend

Father

Mother

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Spouse YOU

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Mother

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Spouse

Brother

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JAPAN Inner–4.1 Middle–3.2 Outer–0.7

USA Inner–4.0 Middle–3.0 Outer–0.9

Convoy Composition for Age 20–39

Convoy Composition for Age 40–59

JAPAN Inner–4.1 Middle–2.7 Outer–0.8

USA Inner–3.9 Middle–3.2 Outer–0.9

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Differences Between Men and Women On average, we tend to think that men and women have different kinds of friendships. Indeed, empirical evidence supports gendered differences in friendships and styles of verbal commu- nication. Women have more friends than men and talk more about intimate, personal subjects with their friends than men do (Boden, Fischer, & Niehuis, 2010). Women use more words that discuss people and what they are doing, express inner feelings and doubts, and use more emotionality in speech. Men, on the other hand, tend to talk less with friends, engage in more activities (especially outdoor activities), and report information and express opinions rather than feelings or internal conflicts. They converse more about objects and events like money, sports, and work. On average, their conversations contain distinctly less emotion and are more impersonal than those of women. In addition, men tend to favor finding solutions to problems whereas women seek comparatively more emotional support (Mehta & Strough, 2009; Newman, Groom, Handelman, & Pennebaker, 2008).

Therefore, rather than the kind of report talk indicative of men, women prefer rapport talk, which fosters relationships and understanding, establishes connections, and provides enrich- ment (Tannen, 1990). For example, when women are stressed because of difficult issues at work or school and talk to men, they often want an attentive listener and empathy. However, men’s initial responses often offer solutions. Conflict in relationships may result due to such communication differences, as some men will become frustrated when their partners want to keep talking about a situation for which they have already offered constructive feedback. Likewise, some women will become frustrated when they feel an issue hasn’t been discussed enough.

Section Review Discuss how adult social and relationship roles evolve.

13.4 Beginning a Family: Adult Partners Among the current generations of adults 65 and older, nearly 96% have married at least once. However, in perhaps a peek at the future, a record 20% of adults 25 and older in the United States have never married and the rates of singlehood have been rising throughout the devel- oped world (Euromonitor International, 2012; U.S. Census, 2014a; Wang & Parker, 2014). Furthermore, the number of households in the United States led by a husband and wife has fallen to around half, the lowest proportion since records began to be kept in 1940 (see Fig- ure 13.3; Lofquist, Lugaila, O’Connell, & Feliz, 2012; U.S. Census, 2014a). On the other hand, same-sex marriage is now legal in the United States and as of late 2015, in 20 other countries as well. Normative patterns of marrying early in order to raise a family have given way to the acceptance of more varied possibilities. For instance, although teenage pregnancy is at an all-time low for every ethnic group, those teens who do have children are remaining single longer without the same stigma as in the past (Martin et al., 2015). About half of couples now live together before marriage, escaping the stares of past generations (Copen, Daniels, Vespa, & Mosher, 2012).

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Men, Living alone

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1967 1980 2015

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1967 1980 2015

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Section 13.4 Beginning a Family: Adult Partners

Cohabitation According to a survey of over 20,000 men and women, cohabitation, or living with an unmar- ried partner in a sexual relationship, has become the norm (see Figure 13.4). Over half of all couples in the United States now cohabit before their first marriage, a figure that has nearly quadrupled in the last three decades (Copen et al., 2012). Other developed countries have similar trends (Australian Institute of Family Studies, 2012; Kasearu & Kutsar, 2011). Couples report that they live together for convenience, to spend more time together, and to test the relationship for marriage (Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009).

Figure 13.3: Adult living arrangements

The number of couples that live with a married spouse has decreased since 1967 for several age groups.

Source: Adapted from U.S. Census Bureau. (2015). Family and living arrangements, living arrangements of adults [Table AD-3]. Retrieved from http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/data/adults.html

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1967 1980 2015

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1967 1980 2015

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Section 13.4 Beginning a Family: Adult Partners

Previously, research had suggested that when compared to adults who do not live together before marriage, adults who cohabit first are more likely to get divorced once they do marry (Kline et al., 2004; Watson & DeMeo, 1987). However, new analyses indicate it is the level of commitment that is associated with later breakup, not the act of cohabitation. Among couples that are engaged to be married before moving in together, the chance that a marriage will last is as high as married couples who did not cohabit. In contrast, when couples live together without a commitment, there is a higher incidence of later divorce, and marital quality suffers if they later decide to marry. Among couples who cohabit without any initial plans for a long- term relationship, perhaps it is more common to fall into marriage as the next step rather than pursue it as part of a committed lifestyle. Among committed same-sex couples, the breakup rate is not significantly different than for heterosexual couples (Copen et al., 2012; Kurdek, 2004; Stanley, Rhoades, Amato, Markman, & Johnson, 2010).

Older adults may cohabit for different reasons than younger adults. Rules that govern pen- sions and Social Security may make it disadvantageous to marry; they may not want to com- ingle other financial resources. In comparison to younger adults, older adults who cohabit spend more time together, have fewer disagreements, and do not worry about their relation- ship ending negatively (King & Scott, 2005).

Figure 13.4: Trends in cohabitation, 1960 to 2015

Instead of living together as a married couple, cohabitation, or living with an unmarried partner, has become much more prevalent since 1960.

Source: Based on U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, March and Annual Social and Economic Supplements, 2015 and earlier; 1960 Census of Population, PC(2)-4B, “Persons by Family Characteristics,” Table 15; 1970 Census of Population, PC(2)-4B, “Persons by Family Characteristics,” Table 11. Retrieved from http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/data/adults.html

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1.589

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7.529

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Gay and Lesbian Families The 2015 decision to recognize same-sex marriage in the United States is a step towards fur- ther inclusion of gay and lesbian couples across the country. But wide-scale acceptance may take time, and same-sex couples may continue to be scrutinized with greater or lesser inten- sity within certain communities. And in homogenous cultures throughout the world (espe- cially parts of Africa, Asia, and the Middle East), homosexuality is illegal and in some cases subject to the death penalty (AntiGayLaws.org, 2015). In these areas, acceptance of same-sex relationships appears to be a far-off possibility.

Both heterosexual and homosexual couples generally look for the same characteristics in their partners: loyalty, affection, and shared interests and values. Their relationships prog- ress in a similar manner and they have similar conflicts. In short, no consistent differences have been reported in the course of adult relationships based on sexual orientation (Kurdek, 2006; Peplau & Spalding, 2000; Rith & Diamond, 2013). Many same-sex couples have chil- dren, often from heterosexual marriages. In the past, when gay and lesbian couples have pur- sued families, legal issues of marriage and child custody (including those associated with adoption) provided additional complications. Though agency biases certainly persist, barri- ers are slowly being dismantled.

Though there are some slight contro- versies over research methodology (e.g., Marks, 2012; Regnerus, 2012), when gay and lesbian couples do have children, it is found that children fare just as well as others. Research has not revealed a difference in quality of parent-child relationships, cogni- tive development, social competence, emotional development, or gender- and self-identity, including in roman- tic relationships. Sexual orientation of the children remains unaffected. Some studies show differences in academic performance, but that is probably related to SES rather than sexuality. In essence, outcomes for children raised by gay and lesbian parents are similar to outcomes of other children (Ball,

Creatas/Thinkstock

Research shows the children of gay and lesbian couples fare just as well as children with heterosexual parents.

Activity Pretend for a moment that you are a psychologist who provides relationship or premarital counseling. Today you will be meeting with two clients who are evaluating the possibility of moving in together. What kinds of issues would you want them to discuss before they decide to live together? Will you approach the task differently if they are a gay or interracial couple?

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2012; Biblarz & Stacey, 2010; Crowl, Ahn, & Baker, 2008; Manning, Fettro, & Lamidi, 2014; Patterson & Wainright, 2011).

Childless Couples Generativity is not an outcome reserved only for parenthood. Adults create generativity in other ways. Research finds that childless couples who suffer adversity through failed attempts at artificial reproduction also strive to leave a mark that will outlast them (Peters, Jackson, & Rudge, 2011). Contrary to psychological theories that suggest there is long-term psychologi- cal distress associated with involuntary childlessness, couples generally show resilience and invest in other meaningful activities. Painful emotions persist, but when couples provide sup- port to each other, they are able to mitigate the pain more easily.

Other times adults are childless by choice. Historical changes have been brought about by wider availability of birth control, higher education rates for women, and the increasing num- bers of women in the labor force (Abma & Martinez, 2006). About 18% of women over the age of 45 have never had children, a rate that is about the same as 1995, but nearly double the 10% rate seen in 1980 (Dye, 2005, 2010). Despite somewhat reduced pressures in recent times, women who choose not to have children (more so than men) continue to battle against societal expectations of motherhood, both in the United States and in other Westernized nations (Bulcroft & Teachman, 2004; Seiz, 2013).

Reasons for remaining childfree for both men and women include freedom from the respon- sibilities of childcare, greater opportunities for self-fulfillment, and more leisure time (Agrillo & Nelini, 2008). Other, more altruistic, reasons include concern for population growth and doubts about one’s own competency to be a good parent. There is no evidence to suggest that childfree individuals have less life satisfaction than individuals with children. Childfree cou- ples tend to have more years of education, have a higher percentage of professional or mana- gerial jobs, live in urban areas, and make relatively high incomes (Agrillo & Nelini, 2008). Research on childless couples remains focused on the void experienced by couples without children, rather than the distinct opportunities and sense of identity that being childfree can provide. One potentially serious consequence occurs when women choose to remain child- less until some far off future date. By age 39, about three fourths of childless women want to eventually have a baby, but less than 10% will. The problem is that when the time to have a child arrives, it often becomes difficult to conceive, and, as you learned in Chapter 3, the likeli- hood of complications increases significantly with age (Craig et al., 2014).

Section Review Describe some potential developmental trajectories among adult relationship partners.

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13.5 Marriage It has really only been a recent development, even in the United States, that couples have spe- cifically sought emotional and physical intimacy in a marriage partner. Traditionally, people looked at marriage pragmatically; women were needed to bear children and men were needed to secure provisions and provide for the family (Cherlin, 2009). Though couples in Western countries now nearly always pursue romantic love, it is not the case in cultures throughout the world. Arranged marriages continue to occur in which attraction, initial affection, and love among the couple is an afterthought. Marriages are often arranged based on status, val- ues, wealth, and fit of the two families, not necessarily the couple (Allendorf, 2013). In an arranged marriage, it is assumed that passion and intimacy will develop out of commitment instead of the reverse.

In India, women who are educated are rejecting arranged marriages, but the rate of self- arranged marriages is not growing. Instead, traditional arranged marriages between families have been modified so that children are influenced by family, but still provide consent. In this intermediate, “semi-arranged” marriage, parents become matchmakers: the children meet each other, and then decide if they want to marry (Banerji, Martin, & Desai, 2013). Though there is obvious familial pressure, children do not have the same obligation to marry as they do in traditionally arranged marriages. Despite this cultural shift among some educated women, 47% of all teenagers in India are married before they are 18 (UNICEF, 2015b).

In stark contrast, the number of never-married adults in the United States is at a record high (see Figure 13.5a). It follows that when couples do marry, they are waiting longer than at any other time in U.S. history (Figure 13.5b). The median age for first marriage is at an all-time high of 28.7 years for men and 26.5 years for women (U.S. Census Bureau, 2014b). Although homogamy—or marriage among people who are culturally similar—has been the standard in the United States, the rate of marriages crossing ethnic, racial, and religious lines has been increasing. In the United States, 15% of people marry someone of a different race or ethnicity, up from 3.2% in 1980 (Schwartz & Mare, 2012; Wang, 2012).

It is challenging to identify what makes a good marriage, both pragmatically and operation- ally in research. There are no particular standards of measurement, which makes it difficult to compare studies. According to the Dyadic Adjustment Scale, which was normed among cou- ples in the United States, more successful marriages are indicated by the frequency of kissing (Spanier, 1976). But using this scale is especially problematic when comparing non-Western societies. For instance, marital satisfaction in Nepal is significantly affected by whether or not couples choose their own spouse (Allendorf & Ghimire, 2013). While some might think that cultural differences increase tension in a marriage, research does not support this position. Instead, communication styles, similarities in values, and life goals of the couple (including desired number of children) are more likely to lead to a successful marriage (Angeles, 2010; Brown, Orbuch, Bauermeister, & McKinley, 2012; Carrere, Buehlman, Gottman, Coan, & Ruck- stuhl, 2000).

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a) Percent of never married adults aged 35 and older

Women Men

Section 13.5 Marriage

Figure 13.5: Marriage statistics

As the age of first marriage in the United States continues to trend upward and is now higher than at any other time in history, the percentage of never married adults has also increased.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau (1890–2000); U.S. Census Bureau. (2010)

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Success in Marriage Among Westernized societies, both husbands and wives point to shared responsibilities and inputs in the functioning of the family as factors that contribute to marital happiness. Suc- cessful couples have greater interaction and less conflict. Ultimately, there are fewer prob- lems and less incidence of divorce (Amato, Booth, & Johnson, 2007; Dush & Taylor, 2012). In a longitudinal study of 172 married couples over 11 years, couples who were willing to com- mit to the marriage, not just the person, were more likely to have positive feelings for each other and a surviving marriage. Successful couples commit to the relationship even when it changes, not only when it is going well (Schoebi, Karney, & Bradbury, 2012). Couples that make sacrifices for each other are also more likely to remain together. Individuals who were more selfish and cared more about being right than preserving dignity in the relationship were more prone to breaking up.

In recent years, perhaps because of a more selfish bias in marriage, major conflict and drama in relationships have become more prevalent. Some psychologists have suggested that this trend represents a fundamental shift in marriages. Before the 1960s, people described their unions as mostly companionate marriages. Spouses complemented each other and had mutual goals such as raising children, owning a home, and giving to the community (Mintz & Kellogg, 1988). Some have suggested that an individualistic marriage model has replaced earlier perspectives that focused on interdependence and commitment (Cherlin, 2004). If a relationship is focused more on individual needs than on forming a complementary bond, then it is more likely to because of a lack of emotional investment.

A common risk factor in failed marriages is marrying before age 20, although maturity alone does not explain marriage success. The proportion of successful marriages among people between the ages of 22–25 is higher than other ages, regardless of other factors, including education. In fact, waiting until 27, the average age of marriage, does not predict more suc- cess (Glenn, Uecker, & Love, 2010).

There are some slight differences in marriage quality between men and women in Western countries, but findings are not consistent. On the other hand, studies from non-Western coun- tries consistently find that women experience lower levels of marital quality than men (Allen- dorf & Ghimire, 2013; Ng, Loy, Gudmunson, & Cheong, 2009; Pimentel, 2000; Xu & Lai, 2004). Undoubtedly, gendered expectations and inequality within the marriage affect happiness. In many cultures, women are the emotional and physical backbone of the family, diminish- ing their own quality of life while elevating that of husbands. Wives are expected to behave in ways that maintain the marriage while husbands do not have the same expectations. For instance, women might continue to perform a disproportionate share of childcare and house- work in order to avoid conflict.

Marriage in Middle and Later Adulthood Marital satisfaction generally increases in middle age, as issues of money, child rearing, and division of labor either subside or are worked out. Fewer conflicts provide further evidence of the absence of a midlife crisis. Less attention on children results in an increased focus on the couple as well as more physical energy and free time. Although younger couples often have conflicts over “territorial” issues like friends and how the house should be arranged, couples who stay together into middle age expand their shared network of friends and become

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more tolerant of partners’ behaviors; most consider themselves having a “very good” or “excellent” marriage (Charles & Carstensen, 2002; Kalminj, 2003; Peplau & Fingerhut, 2007).

In later adulthood (including those in same-sex relationships), partners continue to provide emo- tional benefits. One study of couples married 50 or more years showed that factors contributing to success and longevity were much the same as those of their younger counterparts. Affection, shared activities, and commitment grew in importance along with the marriage (Weishaus & Gield, 1988). In late adulthood, the happiest couples have similar levels of physical and mental health. Older couples become more comfortable with shared responsi- bilities, and there are even fewer areas of conflict than in middle age. Importantly, both older men and women in successful relationships find increased sources of pleasure (Carstensen, Gottman, & Leven- son, 1995; Levenson, Carstensen, Gottman, 1993). Also, recall from the discussion on socioemotional selectivity (see Chapter 10) that at this stage people express negative emotions less frequently and there are more positive emotions overall—selectively for- getting negative events concerning a spouse eases potential conflicts.

Having a partner available for physical and emo- tional support during illness or disability increases the positive view of the marriage but also presents potential complications. When one aging partner must care for another, especially in progressive diseases like dementia and cancer, on average the mental and physical health of the caregiver are compromised. Such circum- stances increase the incidence of depression and physical complaints. On the other hand, hav- ing “social capital”—a dependable social network—can alleviate some of the psychological distress (Pinquart & Sörensen, 2011; Song, 2011).

Marriage and Health Extensive research in a number of developed countries indicates that marriage is a posi- tive factor in physical and mental health and contributes significantly to longevity (Rendall, Weden, Favreault, & Waldron, 2011; Umberson, Williams, Powers, Liu, & Needham, 2006; Val- konen, Martikainen, & Blomgren, 2004). On an individual basis, some reasons for this effect are easily apparent. Having a spouse who insists that you visit a doctor, even if you think your ailment might be “minor,” might save your life. Because women monitor their own health better than men, wives provide more protective support for their husbands than the reverse (Rendall et al., 2011). In the area of mental health, depression is higher among single older adults, especially among men. This finding partly explains why the protective effect of mar- riage for men is stronger than for women. However, married men also take fewer health risks than those who are unmarried (Ploubidis, Silverwood, DeStavola, & Grundy, 2015).

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Couples who experience happy marriages in later adulthood value affection, shared activities, and commitment more highly than their younger counterparts.

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Section 13.6 Divorce

13.6 Divorce The commonly reported statistic that married couples only have a 50% chance of remaining together is inaccurate. While it is difficult to predict the chances of a first marriage ending in divorce, the calculations of most researchers find the rate to be lower. About 40% of all women who get married will eventually divorce, a percentage that has actually been dropping fairly consistently since 1980 (Kreider, 2005; Kreider & Ellis, 2011). Analyses from Australia and other countries produce similar results (e.g., Webster, 2000). Nevertheless, about 1 in 10 marriages do not survive beyond 5 years. Divorce peaks before the 10-year mark, and relatively few couples get divorced after 15 years. Divorce is more common among those who have children early, marry young, have low education (including those who drop out of high school), and who marry more spontaneously, during the most passionate phase of a relation- ship (BLS, 2013; Glenn et al., 2010; Kreider & Ellis, 2011).

Because financial and psychosocial consequences can be severe, it is important to identify variables that are linked to a higher probability of divorce. Explanations like “we didn’t get along” or “there were communication problems” are usually incomplete. Psychologists work to translate these issues into operational definitions. For instance, research has found asso- ciations between divorce and unfulfilled expectations, specific kinds of personalities (e.g., aggressive), stress, and negative emotions (Lavner & Bradbury, 2010, 2012). When research- ers explore specific contributors to divorce, we find that lack of commitment, infidelity, and arguing are the most common concrete reasons for dissolution. However, even when a spe- cific catalyst is named, both men and women blame their spouses more than they blame themselves (Scott, Rhoades, Stanley, Allen, & Markman, 2013).

Legacy of Divorce Women who remain single after divorce are especially vulnerable to deficits in long-term mental health, including loneliness, lower self-esteem, worry about the future (often due to financial hardship), difficulty with trust in new relationships, and depression (Amato, 2006; Gray, De Vaus, Qu, & Stanton, 2011). In a 16-year follow-up study of 1,471 children who were of various ages when their parents divorced, researchers concluded that long-term effects included less education and greater unemployment. Overall psychological health suffered, as well. Women were at a higher risk for depression and experienced more conflict in their inter- personal relationships (Huurre, Junkkari, & Aro, 2006). From previous discussions, it follows that the stress and unhappiness inherent in the divorce process exact a physical toll as well. Once again, though, men show fewer long-term effects than women.

Divorce also appears to leave a family legacy. Adults who experienced their parents’ divorce have relative deficits in social skills and are poorer at conflict resolution—factors that prob- ably contribute to the finding that divorce “runs in the family” (Amato, 2000; Amato & DeBoer,

Section Review Summarize how the conditions of marriage change over the lifespan.

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2001; Mustonen, Huurre, Kiviruusu, Haukkala, & Aro, 2011). In their comprehensive discus- sion and review of a 25-year study, Wallerstein and Lewis (2004) state, “Divorce begets fewer marriages, poorer marriages, and more divorces” (p. 366).

International literature strongly sug- gests that, compared to intact families, children of recently divorced parents show a higher degree of psychoso- cial problems, although their parents underestimate the extent of their reac- tions (Clark-Stewart & Brentano, 2006; Hannan & Halpin, 2014). Children of divorce experience increased anxiety, sleep disturbances, and depression, especially during the first 2 years after a breakup. There is a higher incidence of conduct problems in younger chil- dren and delinquency and criminal behavior among adolescents. Parent- child relationships suffer, too, often because children feel allegiance to both parents (Amato, 2001; Amato & Afifi, 2006; Vanassche, Sodermans, Matthijs, & Swicegood, 2014).

Others argue that the effect of divorce is somewhat muted and that negative outcomes for children disappear within 2 years after the divorce, especially for boys. Although, on average, children in divorced families have more emotional and behavioral problems, the majority of children do not have major long-term issues with adjustment. There are more negative out- comes in general, but group differences between children of divorce and among those from intact families are not particularly robust (Hetherington, 2005; Hetherington & Kelly, 2002). Academic disagreements about the consequences of divorce therefore center on the size of the effects rather than on the existence of such effects (e.g., Hetherington & Elmore, 2003; Sigle-Rushton, Lyngstad, Andersen, & Kravdal, 2014).

Remarriage Importantly, although overall evidence shows that marriage has distinct health benefits, indi- viduals who are divorced generally have fewer overall health risks than those who remain in distressed relationships. Re-partnering eventually reduces the negative effect on longevity, and, for most people, the emotional impact of divorce lessens over time (Dupre & Meadows, 2007; Gray et al., 2011; Umberson, Thomeer, & Williams, 2013).

Estimates of remarriage suggest that two thirds of women (69%) and three quarters of men (78%) remarry after divorce. However, with each subsequent marriage, the divorce rate increases (Sweeney, 2010). The number of individuals who are remarrying has followed the decline of marriage in general. Whites have the highest rates of remarriage, followed by blacks (who have the highest rate of divorce) and Hispanics (McNamee & Raley, 2011). Men are more likely to remarry because, as in first marriages, there are more men who marry

Fuse/Thinkstock

The idea that “divorce runs in the family” may have some truth to it—children who have experienced their parents’ divorce can experience deficits in social skills and conflict resolution.

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Section 13.7 Parenting

younger women than there are women who marry younger men. Although divorce often leads to a decline in economic well-being, especially for women, remarriage can lead to eco- nomic recovery, depending on the education and employment of the potential spouse (Shafer & Jensen, 2013).

Blended Families The increase in divorce and of children born to single mothers has led to remarriages and a significant increase in blended families. Blended families are difficult to compare with either intact families or other blended families because they have various compositions. For research purposes, a blended family usually consists of a married couple that has at least one stepchild living with them. In reality, though, blended families can consist of half-siblings, stepsiblings, stepchildren, and sometimes grandparents or other relatives who take over par- enting roles. Additionally, a child may “live” with a single parent most of the time yet “visit” a remarried parent. And whereas over 10 million children live with stepparents, a substantial number also live with cohabiting couples who have not married. Therefore, it is difficult to draw general conclusions about the effects on development within nontraditional families.

The lack of a consistent description of a blended family parallels the ambiguity of roles that often exist, particularly in families with older children. Children, especially daughters, often resist sharing their parents with a new partner. Happiness among intact couples is positively associated with parent-child relationships; however, the opposite is true in blended families. That is, biological child-parent relations deteriorate as the quality of the remarried parent’s spousal relationship increases. Self-concept of biological children may lean toward more con- fusion (see Chapter 11) when a biological parent divides time and affection among the bio- logical children and stepchildren (Hetherington & Clingempeel, 1992).

Blended families can also contribute to positive adjustment. Many of the negative effects of divorce can be reversed. Shared finances bring about a higher standard of living, and there are more people in the home to help with supervision and provide a social outlet. Although roles may be awkward, especially at first, more household members can also mean fewer individ- ual chores and less overall stress. Family premarital counseling is often successful in promot- ing these outcomes and helping to integrate future roles in the family.

Section Review Discuss the effects of divorce and remarriage on the adults and children involved.

13.7 Parenting During early adulthood, the pursuit of intimacy allows people to create relationships that lead to love, comfort, and security. Those relationships set the groundwork for generativity. People grow by becoming productive in activities that make a difference in society. One common way to achieve these goals is through parenting. Having children has become a more conscious decision since new forms of contraception became widely available in the 1960s. This devel- opment has contributed to a steady increase in the average age at which women (and men)

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Average age, all mothers

24.6

21.4

27.5

25.2

Average age, at first child

Year

A v e ra

g e a

g e o

f m

o th

e r

1970 19951990198519801975 20082007 2009200620052000

Section 13.7 Parenting

have their first child (see Figure 13.6). This trend is especially strong among women who attend college. Researchers have observed these trends throughout the world, including in the United Kingdom and New Zealand, where the average age of first births for women is now more than 29 years (Hamilton et al., 2015; OECD, 2013). Likewise, the expectations and resul- tant adaptation of becoming a parent are also greatly varied with the typical age of bearing children expanding into a wide range. For instance, women who have high self-efficacy and are optimistic about becoming parents enjoy better mental health following the birth of chil- dren (Harwood, McLean, & Durkin, 2007; Pedersen & Minnette, 2012).

Figure 13.6: Average age of all mothers

Partly due to increased opportunities for women and changes in access to contraception, the average age at which women become mothers has increased steadily since the early 1970s.

Source: Based on Martin, J. A., Hamilton, B. E., Ventura, S. J. et al. (2011). Births: Final data for 2009. National Vital Statistics Reports; Volume 60, Number 1. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/ data/nvsr/nvsr60/nvsr60_01.pdf

Average age, all mothers

24.6

21.4

27.5

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Average age, at first child

Year

A v e ra

g e a

g e o

f m

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Parenting Styles Becoming a parent plays a strong role in psychosocial development, and different parenting behaviors can have a lasting effect on multiple aspects of development. Diana Baumrind’s research (1971) was instrumental in identifying the most common patterns of parenting (Table 13.1). Her investigations revealed four parenting styles based on the dimensions of demandingness and responsiveness. Each pattern has since been determined to be relatively stable and is associated with different outcomes in children (Holden & Miller, 1999; Stein- berg, Lamborn, Dornbush, & Darling, 1994; van den Akker, Deković, Prinzie, & Asscher, 2010). Keep in mind that although classifications are useful, the complexities of childhood, including variables related to both nature and nurture, make it impossible to reliably predict outcomes.

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Section 13.7 Parenting

Table 13.1: Parenting types

Parenting type Characteristics and examples of behaviors

Typical style of discipline

Child’s outcome relative to other styles

Authoritarian1 High demands; low responsiveness to chil- dren. Intrusive, rigid, controlling; demanding compliance. “Military” or “Tiger Mom” type. May activate GPS on cell phone to monitor whereabouts.

Punitive, punishing; no negotiation. More likely than others to use physi- cal and other harsh forms of punishment.

Less sociable; more dependent, anx- ious. Higher risk of delinquency.

Permissive2 Low demands; high responsiveness. Indul- gent; warm but with few demands. Acts more as a friend than as an author- ity figure. “Anything goes” attitude of acceptance.

Few expectations and, thus, little discipline; con- sequences of misbehavior often ignored.

Higher risk of drinking and drug use. Poorer self- regulation. May mature faster.

Authoritative3 Relatively high demands; high responsiveness. Warm, supportive; com- municative. Willing to negotiate and hear child’s point of view.

A process that includes reasoning and expla- nation; child involve- ment may include some negotiation. Natural and logical consequences.

Higher prosocial behavior. Independent, coopera- tive, highly self-regulated. Higher academic achieve- ment. Least likely to use drugs.

Neglectful4 Neither demanding nor responsive. Uninvolved and indifferent; there- fore, rejecting. Provides basic needs only; ignores everyday activities and psychosocial well-being.

Poor supervision leads to more misbehavior and harsher punishment when discovered.

Poor supervision leads to greatest risk of delin- quency, including use of alcohol and drugs. Lack of attachment affects social skills with peers and authority figures. Poorly self-regulated; immature. Poor sense of self.

1Baumrind (1971); Fung & Lau (2009); Hoeve et al. (2008) 2Baumrind (1971) 3Baumrind (1971); Hokoda, Lu, & Angeles (2006); Simons & Conger (2007) 4Baumrind (1971); Hoeve et al. (2008); Steinberg et al. (1994)

Parents typically engage in a continuum of behavior and are rarely as consistent as the cat- egories might suggest. Even “ideal” parents make mistakes and are at times inconsistent. For instance, authoritative parents may behave in a punitive manner if their children behave inappropriately toward an adult, become disruptive in public, or use drugs. Furthermore, authoritative parents often relax behavior standards when adolescents increase demands for independence (Luyckx et al., 2011). Authoritarian parents are not always cold and demand- ing, and even permissive parents will set rules. Again, these descriptors are typical averages, not the result of cause-and-effect relationships. Rather than wanting to control behavior or dictate the future, the vast majority of parents seem to have the same goal of raising children to be valued adults (Quinn, 2005).

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Cultural and Contextual Variations in Parenting and Discipline Research consistently finds that among the four patterns of parenting an authoritative style is most beneficial for children. However, context and cultural differences remain an impor- tant consideration because every child grows up in multiple contexts. Culture and values determine many aspects of parenting behavior, from traditional “military dads” to contempo- rary, laissez-faire “soccer moms.” Chinese parents in Beijing behave differently than Chinese- Americans in Los Angeles. Individual schools, neighborhoods, and even narrow city streets are informed by local attitudes and experiences, which may change with each generation.

With few exceptions, parenting literature in the first half of the 20th century usually recom- mended an authoritarian approach. If children did not perform up to standards, then they were to be treated harshly until they did. In Western countries, attitudes about children did not change much until the 1970s (not very long ago), when research into children began to accelerate and the family environment was spotlighted once again. As a result, parents revis- ited how they approached rule setting and monitoring, and began to replace longstanding traditions of harsh discipline (Barber, 1996; Barber, Maughan, & Olsen, 2005). Furthermore, while there has been a significant increase in the number of mothers in the full-time work- force, there has not been a corresponding decrease in fathers working. As a result, children today spend less time with their parents, changing the dynamics of family exchange. These economic (including more focus on material supplies) and cultural elements also impact par- enting styles, including a shift to more authoritative methods (Brown & Larson, 2002; Long & Hoghughi, 2004; Reid, Roberts, Roberts, & Piek, 2015; Smuts & Hagen, 1985).

In the United States, Hispanic and black families remain more authoritarian compared to white families. Regardless of race or ethnicity, though, on average, parents of higher socioeco- nomic status (SES) employ more positive parenting techniques and fewer authoritarian mea- sures. And whites have a comparatively higher SES. Perhaps parents from higher SES groups are more resourceful and learn to adapt better to their children’s needs (Azad, Blacher, & Marcoulides, 2014; Brooks-Gunn & Markman, 2005; Ispa et al., 2004). Again, though, there are decided individual variations; no single style will produce exceptional outcomes, as par- enting is just one of many psychosocial factors that influence development.

Section Review Differentiate among Baumrind’s parenting styles. Describe the types and explain how they are associated with discipline.

13.8 Generational Changes in Family Structure There have been relatively recent changes in the ways that families are constituted and how responsibilities are fulfilled. Two-parent families are no longer the expected norm. Multigen- erational households often occur because of economic or social necessity of the children; in the past, it was more typical for older relatives to be cared for, rather than being the ones providing the care. Children move back home after college, or perhaps never leave. In this section, we consider some of these generational changes.

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Single mother

Single mother with cohabiting partner

Single father

Single father with partner Single stepparent

Other relative

Grandparent

Nonrelative

Foster parents

Other

Two biological/adoptive married parents

One biological/adoptive parent and stepparent

Two biological/adoptive cohabiting parents

Two parents 67.7%

One parent 28.7%

No parents 3.6%

Section 13.8 Generational Changes in Family Structure

Secular Changes and the Home Environment Compared to children from less educated, lower-income homes, those from highly educated, wealthier homes are more likely to have been born to married parents, to live with two par- ents, and to eventually enter into happier, longer-term marriages. After attending better schools, they are more likely to attend college. Even though the structure of the family has changed in recent decades (see Figure 13.7 for a description of living arrangements for chil- dren in the United States), over 75% of high school seniors report that a good marriage and family life are “extremely important,” a figure that has remained relatively unchanged for decades (Bachman, Johnston, & O’Malley, 2011). Throughout the world, having two parents in the household is associated with greater literacy, a lower chance of repeating a grade in school, and overall higher academic achievement. In many countries, having two parents in the household is a determining factor in whether or not children will attend school at all (World Family Map, 2013).

Figure 13.7: Percentage of children living in different arrangements

Although the majority of children live with two married, biological parents, other arrangements are common.

Source: Adapted from U.S. Census Bureau. (2013).

Single mother

Single mother with cohabiting partner

Single father

Single father with partner Single stepparent

Other relative

Grandparent

Nonrelative

Foster parents

Other

Two biological/adoptive married parents

One biological/adoptive parent and stepparent

Two biological/adoptive cohabiting parents

Two parents 67.7%

One parent 28.7%

No parents 3.6%

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On the other hand, in the United States and elsewhere, family structure is associated with significant long-term trends, or what we call secular changes. For instance, there has been a rising trend toward children born to single mothers, especially among blacks. Almost 71% of black children are born to single mothers, compared to 40% of children overall; about half of all black children under the age of 18 live with a single parent, compared to 25% of all chil- dren (Hamilton et al., 2015). Once again, though, there are dramatic differences in SES. Over the past several decades, the number of low-SES 14-year-old girls who live with both parents has dropped from 72% to 51%; among high-SES children, regardless of race, percentages have remained somewhat steadier, dropping only from 82% to 78% (Bachman et al., 2011; U.S. Census, 2015a). As is the case with other differences among racial and ethnic groups, SES appears to be a more robust indicator of social outcome than race.

The Empty Nest There is sometimes a key transition when older adolescents and young adults leave home, leaving parents alone. Years ago, researchers proposed that this life event was characterized by unhappiness and despondency, causing empty nest syndrome. One major problem in the original analysis was the use of a small, nonrepresentative sample that consisted of 14 women who were hospitalized for depression in a psychiatric facility (Deykin, Jacobsen, Solo- mon, & Klerman, 1966).

In actuality, there is no evidence for the generalized loneliness and despair that the media typi- fies. Extensive studies in Asia, Europe, and North America have consistently found that parents adjust quite well to the “empty nest” (Dennerstein, Dudley, & Guthrie, 2002; Mitchell & Love- green, 2009). As one German researcher commented, outcomes are “individualistic for each woman due to her own biographical and actual factors of life context” (Fahrenberg, 1986, p. 323). In contrast to popular reports of despair, empty nesting has instead been found to be part of the uptick in marital happiness. Couples tend to spend more enjoyable time with each other (Gor- choff, John, & Helson, 2008). Perhaps quality time improves due to a combination of less stressful adolescent issues and the pursuit of long-delayed social, educational, and career activities.

Children as Caregivers: The Sandwich Generation Another secular change is the result of the trend towards giving birth at an older age. In addi- tion to caring for their own school-age children, middle-aged adults, especially women, often become the primary caregivers to needy parents, a task for which they are often unprepared. As parents increasingly delay having children, they become “sandwiched” between caring for their aging parents and their young children. It is estimated that up to 28 million adults pro- vide care as part of the Sandwich Generation. Female children are three times more likely to provide support for daily activities than male children, even to in-laws (Pope, Kolomer, & Glass, 2012). These figures, however, do not account for other activities that sons may per- form, such as working more hours or engaging in important activities elsewhere.

Cultural expectations about forming multigenerational households vary considerably. For example, Hispanic and Asian households emphasize the obligation of generations taking care of one another, with the older generation holding the position of respect and honor. Older black and Hispanic adults are more likely to expect their children to take care of them; com- paratively, white seniors feel themselves more of a burden (Burr & Mutchler, 1999; Cahill, Lewis, Barg, & Bogner, 2009; Lee, Peek, & Coward, 1998). Indeed, both wives and husbands

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who care for parents report elevated levels of depression, which are espe- cially persistent in women. Long-term caregiver daughters experience an increase in anger and decreased sat- isfaction in their marriages; evidence indicates that providing constant care results in negative health effects about 2 years after beginning care (Book- wala, 2009; Coe & Van Houtven, 2009).

Despite the stress of this role reversal, caring for someone who is dependent can be a rewarding experience, often fulfilling the psychosocial challenge of generativity. Children become closer to their parents and gain satisfaction from fulfilling a new role. In order to increase the possibility of personal growth and satisfaction, it is important to have family and social support, explore community resources, and view the situation as a challenge rather than a burden.

Grandparents While most people would agree that the part of grandparent is an important one, there is a wide variety of ways that grandparents act out their roles. Because younger people are delay- ing parenthood and older people are living longer, grandparent roles are less predictable than in the past. It is not uncommon for a grandparent to see a grandchild mature into adulthood and even advance to middle age. Grandparents and great-grandparents can play a number of roles, including that of family decision-maker. Other grandparent roles unite the family by preserving traditions. Compared to men, women are more likely to place the various grand- parent roles at the center of their lives.

Grandparents are the primary caregivers for about 2.7 million children (Ellis & Simmons, 2014). Survey data show that one in ten grandchildren live in the same household as their grandparents. About 30% of grand- parents help their children and grandchildren with errands, housework, or home repairs; nearly 40% help with childcare and about half help out financially (Liv- ingston, 2013; Livingston & Parker, 2010). Grandpar- ents also report having high regard for the time they spend with their grandchildren. The grandparent role is an important one; however, having more roles than just that of “grandparent” results in greater psychological well-being and a feeling of being younger than if “grandparent” is one’s only role (Muller & Litwin, 2011).

When grandparents assume the responsibility for raising grandchildren, it alters the path through middle and older age. Research suggests that grandparents face a double-edged sword when it comes to raising grandchildren. While many older people look forward to

Critical Thinking

What are some possible reasons that chil- dren raised by grandparents have more behavioral and emotional problems than average?

Creatas/Thinkstock

Hispanic and Asian households emphasize the older generations having a position of honor and the obligation of younger generations to care for them.

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being traditional grandparents, when they step into a full-time caregiving role, they often are torn (Langosch, 2012). Often they look forward to the (less demanding) grandparent role, which would have been appropriate for their stage of life. Instead, as full-time child caregiv- ers, they face an unexpected role that includes a broader range of stressors. Grandparents may be required to give up their jobs, leisure activities, control of how they use their time, and opportunities to engage with their friends.

On the other hand, many grandparents take pride in raising their grandchildren and par- ticipating in grandchildren’s achievements despite the hardships and sacrifices they have to make. Grandparents may feel useful, needed, and thus valued. Although children raised by grandparents fare better than they would if they were in foster care, studies find that the chil- dren under the primary care of grandparents have higher levels of behavioral and emotional problems than children in the general U.S. population (Smith & Palmieri, 2007).

Helicopter Parents Regardless of family constellation or sexual orientation, a growing trend in the United States are parents who are show support that is overly intense, in a sense “hovering” over their adult or nearly-adult children. It is thought that these helicopter parents provide an unhealthy abundance of financial or emotional support. Though controversial, research has indeed shown that overly involved parents negatively affect the psychological well-being of their college-age children (Schiffrin et al., 2014). It is suggested that helicopter parenting intrudes on self-confidence and autonomy and can contribute to relatively higher levels of depression. However, it may be that the reverse is true: Perhaps some parents sense the vulnerability of their children and try to “help” by being overly involved.

But research has also found that “intense support” does provide benefits and is an important part of the transition that charac- terizes emerging adulthood. (Fingerman et al., 2012). Ethnic minorities especially do not view excess involvement as unusual or detrimental (Qian, 2012). Among many eth- nic minorities, it is much more common to have multigenerational households, for children to remain at home until they get married, and for parents to support adult children whenever possible. To a great many families, these labels simply do not apply. Regardless of any possible negative effects, overly protective parents are likely to be far more desirable than those who are neglectful or have difficulty forming attachments. Once again, though, like other adult roles discussed in this chapter, much depends on culture and context.

Critical Thinking

If children do not need extra support, what might be the motivation for parents to be overly involved in their adult chil- dren’s lives?

Section Review Summarize how family structure has evolved and how the changes contribute to differences in development.

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Chapter Summary In general, the roles that we adopt and the relationships we pursue have a powerful effect on well-being. This process begins in early childhood, as play and peer groups introduce us to social behavior outside the family. Play is an integral part of physical, cognitive, and psychosocial development. As an extension of many of the research findings discussed in the last chapter, there are also definitive differences between the play activities of boys and girls. Play later leads to the construction of peer groups, as initial friendships and peer behavior take shape. Peer behavior in middle childhood and adolescence is quite variable, including the problematic behavior of bullying, but the stereotypical behaviors of cliques virtually disappear after high school.

In adulthood, it is apparent that forming intimate relationships is a necessary developmen- tal norm. Friendships leading to love relationships, marriage (and its possible dissolution), and parenting dictate outcomes related to physical health, self-concept, career paths, and eventually retirement. However, complex personal and cultural forces result in considerable differences among individuals. The next chapter will extend this discussion and focus on education, work, and retirement.

Summary of Key Concepts Play and Peer Groups in Early Childhood

• Play and peer relationships are essential components of healthy psychosocial devel- opment, while lack of social play impedes healthy development.

• Understanding types of play helps us to predict stages of psychosocial development. There are a number of categories of play based on individual function. They include functional play, constructive play, and pretend play. In addition, parallel, associative, and cooperative categorize play by social aspects.

• Play varies by culture and context, but remains a healthy part of every developmen- tal domain.

Friendships and Peer Behavior During Childhood and Adolescence

• During adolescence, friendships evolve from a focus on activities to the pursuit of psychological closeness. Loyalty and trust become key features of friendships.

• Children and especially adolescents join cliques and crowds and make social com- parisons in an effort to explore identity. Children fall into patterns of behavior that reflect their status, which often predicts a particular trajectory of psychosocial development.

• In many contexts, peer status becomes an important part of identity development. To measure status, children are asked to nominate peers they like and do not like and those they believe are the most and least popular. This method has resulted in the identification of a number of distinct peer statuses that are associated with specific outcomes.

• Some children fall into patterns of bullying and victimization. Cyberbullying appears to be an extension of in-person bullying, but it occurs online, where there can be more anonymity. Though intervention efforts have accelerated recently, research has so far not identified programs that are consistently successful.

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Social Roles and Relationships in Adulthood

• Social roles change during adulthood as we take on longer commitments and responsibilities.

• Early adulthood is normally a time of transition because there are more changes in social roles than in any other period of adult life. Emerging adulthood has coincided with delays in having children and getting married, continuing education instead of entering the workforce, and living with parents instead of independently.

• The social convoy model provides protection and support in friendships. It describes the relative value that friends and others have at a particular life stage.

• On average, women have more friends than men and talk more about intimate sub- jects, whereas men talk less with friends, engage in more activities, report informa- tion, and express opinions rather than feelings.

Beginning a Family: Adult Partners

• More young adults in developed countries are choosing to remain single, and cohabi- tation has become more normative. Previous conclusions that suggested cohabita- tion was associated with higher rates of divorce have given way to more nuanced analyses.

• The 2015 decision to recognize same-sex marriage in the United States was a signifi- cant process in the acceptance of gay and lesbian couples. However, there are still areas within the United States and around the world where same-sex relationships are stigmatized. In nearly every way, same-sex relationships appear to be no differ- ent than heterosexual relationships.

• There are increasing numbers of childless couples. Those that are childless remain generally content, but most research focuses on the absence of children rather than the advantage of opportunity.

• Women who want children but choose to delay having a child are often unaware of the potential difficulty of conceiving, and many will remain childless.

Marriage

• The median age for first marriage is at an all-time high of 28.7 years for men and 26.5 years for women. It is challenging to identify variables that lead to a successful marriage, because there are no standards of measurement with which to compare studies.

• In general, successful couples in Westernized societies point to shared responsibili- ties and input in the functioning of the family, have greater interaction, and experi- ence less conflict.

• It has been suggested that an individualistic marriage model has replaced earlier perspectives that focused on the complementary relationship, not just the person. Expectations and inequality within the marriage affect happiness, especially in cul- tures where women provide a disproportionate amount of emotional and physical support.

• Marital satisfaction generally increases in middle age. Issues of money, child rearing, and division of labor become more manageable and there are fewer conflicts. Stud- ies with long-time married couples show that factors contributing to success and longevity include affection, shared activities, and commitment to grow.

• For a number of reasons, marriage is often found to be associated with increased health and longevity.

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Divorce

• The typical family has changed in recent generations. Divorce and blended families are common.

• There is opposing evidence on the effect of divorce on children. Overall, it appears that availability, warmth, support, and the absence of conflict in the home are the most important factors in promoting healthy outcomes for children, regardless of family structure.

• Most people who divorce remarry, which usually leads to positive psychosocial and economic benefits.

Parenting

• Four styles of parenting are moderately predictive of psychological differences in children. Parenting styles are associated with types of discipline (or lack of disci- pline) and emotional warmth.

• It is important to evaluate parenting style within a cultural context. What some observers see as strict is interpreted by others as emotionally supportive. Research predicts better outcomes for children whose parents support the use of authorita- tive parenting.

Generational Changes

• Family structure and responsibilities continue to evolve over the lifespan. Imbal- ances of responsibilities contribute to marital stress and conflict.

• The concept of the empty nest syndrome as a kind of normative development is largely a myth. Middle adulthood is often characterized by couples spending com- paratively more enjoyable time with each other.

• Adult children, especially women, often become the primary caregivers to needy parents as they age.

• As people are living longer, the ages and roles associated with grandparenthood var- ies widely.

• There are growing numbers of helicopter parents, who are said to provide an unhealthy abundance of financial or emotional support.

Critical Thinking and Discussion Questions

1. Does play have a role in adulthood? Is it better described as leisure? Explain. 2. How would you decide if a parent is simply unskilled or is guilty of criminal neglect? 3. Political, social, and educational institutions, as well as some parent groups, have

campaigned to eliminate bullying. Is elimination or the pursuit of “zero tolerance” of bullying a reasonable goal to pursue?

4. Discuss some possible advantages or disadvantages of generational changes in adult relationships.

5. Given your age, which social roles do you find to be of most significance to you? 6. How can adults better prepare for psychosocial changes that occur during middle

adulthood?

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Additional Resources Web Resources

• CDC: For more information on parenting http://www.cdc.gov/parents/

• Stop Bulling: A government site that provides information about bullying http://www.stopbullying.gov/

• US Census: Families and Living Arrangements: Data related to trends in family and living arrangements http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/

Further Research

• Baumrind, D. (1971). Current patterns of parental authority. Developmental Psychol- ogy Monographs, 4, 1–103.

• Copen, C. E., Daniels, K., Vespa, J., & Mosher, W. D. (2012). First marriages in the United States: Data from the 2006–2010 National Survey of Family Growth. National Health Statistics Report, Number 49. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Sta- tistics. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr049.pdf

• Hetherington, E. M. (2005). Divorce and the adjustment of children. Pediatrics in Review, 26, 163–169.

• Parten, M. B. (1932). Social participation among preschool children. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 27, 243–269.

• Wallerstein, J. S., & Lewis, J. M. (2004). The unexpected legacy of divorce: Report of a 25-year study. Psychoanalytic Psychology, 21, 353–370.

Key Terms associative play A kind of play in which children interact with each other but are not dependent on each other’s cooperation. Occurs beginning at about age 3 years.

authoritarian A parenting style character- ized by relatively less warmth, rigid rules, and relatively harsher punishment for misbehavior.

authoritative A parenting style that is gen- erally warm and supportive and considers the child’s point of view.

blended families A broad term that usually refers to a married couple who has at least one stepchild living with them.

clique A group of about 3 to 10 members who share specific interests and activities.

cohabitation Living with an unmarried partner in a sexual relationship.

constructive play Play that involves a pur- poseful outcome, like a construction.

controversial children A status indicative of children who have traits of both popular and rejected children.

cooperative play A kind of play that includes mutual activities like taking turns and sharing materials and activities. Notice- able around the time of kindergarten.

crowd A large, loosely organized group of school-age children who engage in many of the same activities.

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http://www.cdc.gov/parents/

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

http://www.census.gov/hhes/families/

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empty nest syndrome Theory that the period when older adolescents and young adults leave home precipitates unhappi- ness and despondency in parents, especially mothers.

functional play Simple, repetitive play typi- cal of infants and toddlers.

helicopter parents A specific subculture of (usually wealthy) parents who “hover” over their children instead of encouraging inde- pendent behavior.

homogamy Marriage among people who are culturally similar.

individualistic marriage model A rela- tionship focused more on individual needs than on forming a complementary bond or partnering to achieve mutually held goals.

neglected children A social status for chil- dren who receive few positive or negative nominations from their peers because they are simply ignored on scales of popularity.

neglectful A parenting style characterized by poor supervision that often results in delinquent behavior from children.

onlooker play When children are not directly involved in play with others, but socially participate through observation or conversation.

parallel play A kind of play in which chil- dren play next to each other but for the most part do not engage each other.

peer groups A social group made up of children or adolescents of similar age and equal status and usually organized around similar interests.

permissive A parenting style characterized by warmth, but few demands.

play Generally an intrinsically motivated, voluntary activity that provides amusement, pleasure, or recreation. Contributes to the building of relationships both inside and outside of the family.

popular children A peer status in which children receive many nominations for being well liked and few nominations for being disliked. This status is associated with aca- demic and social competence.

pretend play Play that involves make- believe activities.

rejected children A status indicative of children who get few nominations for popu- larity and are not identified as well liked.

Sandwich Generation People who delay having children who then must care for their children and their aging parents at the same time.

social convoy A way to describe the rela- tive value that friends and others have (the protection and support they provide) at any life stage.

social norms Unwritten rules and expec- tations about how to behave and what is socially acceptable behavior in a particular situation or within a particular group.

solitary play A kind of play that involves independent focus without social interaction.

status Social competence and likeability, as indicated by peer ratings of behavior.

unoccupied play Occurs when children do little but wander or observe in way that appears unfocused.

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