Divorce and Remarriage

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Characteristics of the Family

The children of divorced parents face difficult adjustments, and many suffer. We should remember that although the finality of the divorce is important, the conditions and situations leading up to the divorce also might have a negative impact on the children.

Factors Affecting the Adjustment Patterns of Children The size of the family after divorce has been found to be related to maladjustments

among the children. The larger the family, the greater is the amount of

stress(scheduling and economic demands) experienced by single parents, and this stress may negatively affect children. Also, the more children in a family, the more

restrictive are the child-rearing techniques employed by the parent, resulting in possible

hostility.

The socioeconomic status of the family is a significant variable affecting the adjustment

patterns of children. As we have seen, divorce results in a lower socioeconomic status for families headed by a single mother, and this reduced income and accompanying

shift downward in lifestyle have a negative effect on children. Parents of higher

socioeconomic status are more likely to assume joint legal custody of their children.

This is significant because, compared to fathers whose former wives have sole legal

custody, nonresident fathers with joint legal custody spend more time with their children (Seltzer, 1994:242).

Race appears to be significant for children from divorced families. People of color are

disproportionately at a disadvantage economically in U.S. society. At divorce, the

meager resources are reduced substantially, putting these children further at risk. Not only are their life chances for good health and education negatively impacted but so,

too, their chances for upward social mobility. According to a Pew study, 85 percent of

African American children and 63 percent of White children who were born into the

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bottom third of the income distribution remain in the bottom third as adults if their

parents divorce. If their parents are continuously married, their chances for upward

mobility are improved somewhat with 62 percent of African Americans and 45 percent of Whites remaining in the bottom third (Lasky, 2010). Moreover, African American

children are less likely than White children to experience their mothers’ remarriage or

informal cohabiting union, which keeps them without a father figure and, typically, from

enhancing their economic situations.

Contact with both parents after divorce helps children adjust. Research shows, for example, that children in divorced families do better in joint custody than those who live

with just one parent (Peterson, 2002a). Similarly, when parents divorce, their children

do best if both parents continue to live in the same general vicinity. Moves away

typically separate the child from the father because either the mother moves away with

the child or the father moves away alone (Peterson, 2003). See Inside the Worlds of Diverse Families: Putting the Children First in a Divorce, for an alternative co-parenting

arrangement.

Finally, maternal employment in the labor force is a family-related variable. A single

working mother has a negative impact on her children if she goes to work for the first time after the divorce, giving the child an additional feeling of loss and deprivation.

To conclude, parental divorce and remarriage do not lead inevitably to problems. Many, if not most, children growing up in these circumstances will not be harmed seriously (Cherlin, 1999a:427).

Inside the Worlds of Diverse Families Putting the Children First in a Divorce

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In a typical divorce the mother is given custody of the children and the house. Very often she is then

unable to make the mortgage payments because of her lower income and she and her brood move

to a different house. Divorce is always a wrenching process for children and less contact with Dad

and a new home environment exacerbate the misery. There is one alternative strategy, called

“nesting,” that seeks to minimize some of these negative impacts of divorce.

Nesting Nesting is a co-parenting arrangement where the children remain in the family home while the

parents move into the home during their respective parenting time (Sommer, 2012). In essence, in a

divorce proceeding nesting answers the question “who gets the house” with: the answer: the

children do (Luscombe, 2011). 

Nesting has several advantages.

First, this arrangement provides the children with stability and continuity in familiar

surroundings at a time of family upheaval. The children stay in their own homes: they don’t

move away from friends; and they don’t have to change schools.

 Second, nesting keeps the father involved, rather than the gradual lessening of the father

ties over time, which is often the case. 

Third, nesting s a fair arrangement for the children. The children do not have to bear the

burden of moving back and forth to each parent’s house but rather the culprits in the divorce

—the parents—have to shuttle back and forth (Chabin, 2012). 

There is a downside to nesting. It is a costly arrangement with each parent having a household and

the ex-spouses maintaining a third for the children. Thus, there are increased mortgage or rental

costs, more utility expenses, and property taxes. So nesting may be only for a couple with sufficient

assets. 

Nesting also requires a couple willing to cooperate in this joint venture. The ex-spouses who split

because they could not get along must now deal with financial issues and basic disagreements

about running the family home. For example, when one parent leaves does s/he leave the pantry

and refrigerator bare and leave the house untidy? Who deals with repairs and upkeep? These and

other issues are laden with the potential for stress and conflict. 

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In sum, nesting seems like a good arrangement for providing stability for children. But it requires

financial and emotional costs for spouses who enter this arrangement with broken bonds to each

other.