Draft an Argumentative Research Essay

English II – Touchstone 3.2 Draft an Argumentative Research Essay

Peter Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Hi Peter! I’ll be reviewing your essay today.

English Composition II

Touchstone 3.2 Draft an Argumentative Research Essay

July 16, 2020

Recent pandemic, commonly referred to as COVID 19, has changed the world dynamics. This disease has not just crashed the world health system but has also impacted the global education system. COVID 19 has made our daily routine vulnerable. Still, the precautionary measures such as social distancing have not just impacted the social life of human beings. Still, they have also altered the Present and the future of the global learning system. According to the UNESCO report, the nationwide termination of educations institutes has obstructed over 60% of the world's learner’s populace, with approximately 1.53 billion learners out of learning institutes. Many educationists believe that with the current circumstance, the drop-out rate of students across the globe will increase in the near future because of the disruption in the system. Though many parents and institutes are still in denial of the changes that have occurred due to the pandemic, educationists and research indicate that the current alteration in the global education system will not be short-lived and will have a profound impact on the future means of education. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Write smoothly: this sentence is awkward. Try reading your writing aloud to see if it sounds natural. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Use specific language: what do you mean by “crashed?” Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Avoid repetition in your essay: here, beginning two sentences in a row with “still” weakens your writing. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Cite all outside information in APA format. You can find information on it here: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_style_guide/general_format.html Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Look out for odd word choices throughout your paper. Write clearly, directly, and concisely. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Important: improve this thesis. Your thesis statement must be argumentative: it must take a side and state what should be done What exactly are you arguing for?

Education System during Pandemic Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: If you are going to use headings, use them throughout the paper, including for your Introduction and Conclusion.

The recent survey shows that around 22 countries in three continents have closed their learning system on local and state levels because of COVID 19. Such massive disruption has pushed educators and institutions to opt for new means of education, such as online learning and instructional tutoring. However, such means of education has also exposed other crucial factors, such as inconsistent resource allocation and social and economic differences. The historical research on the impact of school closure depicts that even a brief intervention in school activities has a high social and economic cost. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Good thoughts – can you give data? Cited numbers will strengthen this argument.

Past studies suggest that school closure impacts all communities in a system. Still, children with special needs are the most affected, as it impacts their learning capabilities and compromises their nutritional facilities. Furthermore, with home tutoring and online learning system, the economic cost per family tends to increase, as parents are required to spend time with their children, rather than working. The current technological means opted by many institutions to cover up the learning gap. It has not just increased the economic cost but has also negatively impacted the students' social and learning skills. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Which studies? Be specific. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Give examples/data to support your argument. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Look out for sentence fragments.

Through technological intervention in the education system is not just because of COVID 19, it has been in practice since the last decade. The research on educational technology reveals that 18.66 billion dollars were invested in the field in 2019 (Hew, 2019), and the market for ed-technology is anticipated to reach $350 billion by 2025. However, COVID 19 is the reason for the significant surge for technological intervention in the current education field. Though technological insertion has become a lifeline for the learning system during the pandemic, factors such as unequal technological resource distribution and access to educational material are limiting the current learning process. Educationists and researchers believe that such disruptions in the current education system are not short-lived; rather, their impacts will be felt by the future learning systems. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Good citation. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Odd word choice – what do you mean by “technological insertion?”

Impact of COVID 19 on Future education system

Considering the current changes in the education system pertaining to COVID 19, many educationists believe that the future of the education system will depend solely on technology. However, some educationists consider this shift unplanned and abrupt, resulting in untrained teachers, insufficient bandwidth, and chaos. At the same time, some believe that such changes will create a new fusion model of education that will offer significant benefits to the learners and the community. According to Vice President of Ten cent Education (Huang, 2020)," the incorporation of technology in the current education system will, in the long run, become a vital part of the school education system." However, this essay will highlight the major impacts that COVID 19 is expected to bring in future education, from parent to institution perspective. To survey the impact, the learning system has been divided into four factors, the institutes, families, assessment systems, and the students. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Parenthetical citation should come after the quote: be sure to punctuate it in APA format. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Avoid stating what you are going to tell people. This makes your essay wordy and does not add to it.

COVID 19 Impact on future learning institutions

Schools are an integral part of every human life. It is in these institutions where everyone learns through interacting with each other in a formal setting. Schools not just contribute to enhancing the child’s learning abilities, but also improve their social skills. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Is this on topic? What does it have to do with your essay? What are you arguing?

Past research conducted on the impact of school absence suggests that regular school attendance is connected to student accomplishment and future professional prospects (Malcolm, 2003). Therefore, regular school attendance is significant for improvement in the learning abilities of a child. Though the impact of absence from school due to COVID 19 has not yet been established, past studies such as (Carlsson 2015)suggest that an increase of 10 days of schooling improves the cognitive learning skills by 1% of the standard deviation. Based on the findings of the past study, it can be concluded that the loss of almost 14 weeks of schooling due to a pandemic will result in a 7% loss of learning capabilities in the students. Though distance learning has become a solution to school absence during the pandemic, educationists believe that getting accustomed to the new education system will take a lot of time and patience from the student and the parents. Still, until then, the loss of cognitive skills will be much greater than anticipated. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Place this citation at the end of the sentence, after the information stated. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Be sure this math is correct regarding the standard deviation calculations. If you are getting it from a source, cite it. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Be sure your heading matches the topic you are discussing at that point in the paper. Change your headings if necessary.

COVID 19 Impact Future Families

(Björklund, 2011) Families are an important factor in the learning process, and their educational background and achievements are directly and positively linked with the child's education. COVID 19 has pushed the learning system to shift from traditional schooling to home-schooling, which is considered the most effective and safe learning method. Still, it has shifted the roles of parents from facilitators to providers. In the traditional learning system, a parent was a facilitator or mere helper to their kids, as they either helped their children in practicing the questions and relating them with day to day activities. However, with the infiltration of technology and online learning system, a parent has become the driver of the whole system, even though in the presence of tutors and online resources material.

In the shorter run, parents' changed role will cover up the learning loss of the student, but in the future, such practice cannot be generalized for the whole population. Continuing with the online learning system in the future will create learning inequality in societies. The case study (Björklund, 2011) on the difference between the conventional education system and home-schooling indicates a huge variance between the time dedicated by the parents, their cognitive skills, and the resources available. Such variance will eventually enhance the disparity in human capital growth. Moreover, it can be concluded that the online education system imposed by the pandemic cannot cover up the damage of the conventional learning system. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Is this on topic for a section about impact on families?

COVID 19 Impacts on the Future Assessment System

Demonstration of understanding a particular subject is a critical factor in the learning process, and it helps in assessing whether the educational goals are being met or not. Assessment systems not just help in evaluation but based on critical decisions such as grades, engagement, and professional position is also determined. The recent outbreak of COVID 19 has affected the educational system's current assessment process, and many internal, external valuations have been canceled. This cancellation has not just obstructed the flow of information about the learner's performance but has congested the opportunity for many students to pursue their higher education. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Awkward sentence – revise. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Read your essay aloud, and if it sounds awkward, change it.

Just like the shift in the learning system from conventional to online, the future assessment system has also been changed due to the pandemic. Many institutions are now opting for an online assessment system for their future valuations, which will offer benefits such as easy access, paper, and resource-saving. Still, on the other hand, it will create many obstructions in the process of future evaluation. By shifting to an online evaluation system, the teacher will be required to devise assessment strategies that could restrict the students from copying or searching, hence more burdens will be placed on the teachers. Furthermore, since the devised assessment strategies would be unique for every student, it will require to be checked thoroughly by the teachers, which again will become a strenuous task for them. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Cite this information – bring in a source.

It has been observed that online assessments are more vulnerable to deception, making the whole system doubtable and un-credible. The study of (Piopiunik, 2020) shows that most companies employ the grade classification and educational achievement as a benchmark for hiring. With a non-credible and vulnerable assessment system, the effectiveness of such classification will decrease and have a negative impact on the labor market. This will further impact the growth rate in the earning and will amplify the rate of job separation, which in turn will burden up the whole economic system of the society and individuals. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Note that school environments are the only environment where an individual is required to memorize outside information and is not allowed to use resources or collaborate with peers.

COVID 19 Impacts on Future Students

Currently, the most affected factor in the learning system is the present learners or students. According to a UNESCO report, almost 370 million youth and children have been affected school closure, which makes up to 90% of the world’s learner population. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: Stay on topic. These two paragraphs do not describe what the future will look like for students.

Every institute is making an effort to survive and thrive during the pandemic by collaborating and pushing the factors involved in the learning system. These include parents, institutes, evaluation systems, and, most importantly, students. Many educationists such as the head of OECD Andreas Schleicher consider the pandemic as an opportunity for learning, as according to him all the obstruction present in traditional learning system have been omitted, and now students recognize ways that were earlier not acknowledged.

On the other hand, some educationists believe that though COVID 19 has made the learner independent, but has also highlighted the limitations that are being attached to the future education system (Burgess, 2020). The pandemic will create education inequalities among future learners because of the variance in the educational background of parents, resource availability, and technical knowledge of the learner themselves. Furthermore, the mental impact of social distancing and isolation will create a cognitive problem for future students and eventually impact their learning abilities. Educationist believes that post-COVID 19 the students are required to be self-motivated and resourceful to achieve higher educational accomplishments.

Conclusion

The facts and figures collected through current and past research, survey proof the thesis that COVID 19 has changed the dynamic of the current and future of the education system. Before, the pandemic it was the World Wars that globally shut down the education system and changed the whole learning scenario, but now this particular health crisis has impacted not just the current system. Still, its impacts can be far seen in the future. The crises have not just created new and unique opportunities for the education system but have highlighted the limitation that has been persisting in society but never been talked about. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: I have not marked them all. Review your whole essay for awkward, unclear phrasing. Comment by Kvinge, Krystal: This is good information, but was it brought up earlier in your essay? Do not bring in new information in your conclusion.

The foreseen change in the education system cannot be avoided, but it can be managed by preparing the factors involved. Educationist and institutions should focus on the limitation of the new proposed education system, and then devise strategies that could cover up the constraints.

Reflection

There are many places in the essay where original facts and figure from past studies and survey have been presented to support the argument that COVID 19 has changed the Present and future of education", for example under the heading "COVID 19 impact on future students" numerical factual data about the number of students who have been affected is given, which shows that logical, rhetorical appeal has been employed. By offering factual and numerical data in my essay, the essay's credibility and understanding have been improved.

Credible and informative feedback would help in revising the essay. Yes, there are certainly heading in the draft that I am uncertain of because they do not specify the tone of the topic, and neither provides the reader with a conclusive suggestion or evidence.

References Björklund, A. &. (2011). Education and family background: Mechanisms and policies. In Handbook of the Economics of Education. Elsevier. Burgess, S. &. (2020). Schools, skills, and learning: The impact of COVID-19 on education. VoxEu. Carlsson, M. D. (2015). The effect of schooling on cognitive skills. Review of Economics and Statistics, Hew, K. F. (2019). Where is the “theory” within the field of educational technology research? British Journal of Educational Technology. Huang, R. H. (2020). Handbook on facilitating flexible learning during educational disruption: The Chinese experience in maintaining undisrupted learning in COVID-19 Outbreak. Beijing: Beijing: Smart Learning Institute of Beijing Normal University. Malcolm, H. W. (2003). Absence from school: A study of its causes and effects in seven LEAs. The SCRE Centre University of Glasgow. Piopiunik, M. S. (2020). Skills, signals, and employability: An experimental investigation. European Economic Review.

Touchstone 3.2 Rubric and Feedback
Rubric Category	Feedback	Score (acceptable, needs improvement etc.)
Argument Development and Support	The composition is not argumentative; details are irrelevant and distract from the argument.	10/40
Research	Cites outside sources, but most are cited improperly; incorporates sources through direct quotation, paraphrase, or summary, but the integration is not smooth and/or the credibility of the sources is unclear. Review APA format for in-text citations and place them at the end of the sentence. Introduce the credibility of the sources you use in your essay text.	15/30
Organization	Includes nearly all of the required components of an argumentative research paper; however, the counterargument is missing and the thesis is not argumentative.	10/15
Style	Frequently includes poor word choices, redundancies, imprecise language, and/or repetitive sentence structures so that the essay is frequently difficult to understand.	2/5
Conventions	There are some significant errors in grammar, punctuation, spelling, capitalization, and usage.	3/5
Reflection	Reflection questions should be labeled with their numbers; difficult to tell if length guidelines have been met. Surface-level reflection.	2/5
Overall Score and Feedback: 42/100 Peter, the assignment is to write an argumentative essay. You have written an informative essay. Please revise your thesis statement so that it is arguing for a course of action that should be taken, then give your essay comprehensive revisions so that the entire essay is using outside sources to prove that your thesis is correct.

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