Biased Language

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Learning Outcomes

After reading this chapter, you should be able to

ሁ Define verbal communication and understand the history and functions of language. ሁ Define nonverbal communication and discuss its functions. ሁ Describe the various types of nonverbal communication that can be used in interpersonal

interactions. ሁ Explain how verbal and nonverbal communication have evolved in the digital age. ሁ Use strategies to strengthen verbal and nonverbal communication competence.

4Verbal and Nonverbal Communication: Making Every Word and Gesture Matter

Jose Luis Pelaez/Iconica/Getty Images

Introduction

Introduction Janelle has been dealing with acne for years, but she is becoming increasingly frustrated about being an adult who still struggles with pimples. It is her first visit with Dr. Abraham, a dermatologist, and she is nervous as she waits in the exam room. When Dr. Abraham enters about 20 minutes later, he reads Janelle’s file. He does not make eye contact with her or shake her hand, though he does offer a perfunctory, “Hello, how are you? I’m Dr. Abraham.” Janelle is immediately put off by Dr. Abraham’s indifferent introduction. He asks her a few brief ques- tions, writes down her answers, and performs a quick examination of her skin. In a wavering voice, Janelle responds to Dr. Abraham’s questions but keeps her eyes fixed on the floor. After about five minutes, Dr. Abraham suggests she use two prescriptions, which she can collect from the nurse at the front desk, and return in five weeks for a follow-up appointment. Almost as an afterthought, he asks Janelle if she has any questions. Janelle whispers, “No, thank you,” and is barely able to hold back her tears of disappointment.

Have you ever had an awkward or frustrating encounter such as this? As you learned earlier in this text, whenever people communicate, they attempt to create shared meaning by encod- ing messages in symbols and by decoding or interpreting the symbols used by others. These symbols may be verbal, consisting of words in oral or written forms such as Dr. Abraham’s greeting and Janelle’s answers to his questions. Symbols can also be nonverbal messages such as the tone or volume of your voice, your facial expressions, touching others, use of personal space or distance, and body movement and gestures. Janelle’s soft and wavering voice, Dr. Abraham’s lack of eye contact, and even the time Janelle spends waiting for the doctor are examples of nonverbal communication.

When you communicate with others, your attention is not only focused on the words that are said but also on the characteristics of the other communicator’s voice, their body language and physical distance from you, and even the environment in which the interaction is occur- ring. In the example above, Dr. Abraham uses appropriate verbal communication when he greets his patient, examines and diagnoses her condition, asks questions, and provides her with a treatment. But his nonverbal communication makes the visit unpleasant for Janelle; his lack of “bedside manner” changes the overall meaning of the medical encounter for Janelle, making her feel invisible in the eyes of Dr. Abraham. This, in turn, impacted the information that she shared with him and the kind of treatment she received.

You process others’ nonverbal messages at the same time that you process their verbal mes- sages, and you make judgments about others based on a combination of both. Others simul- taneously make these same judgments of you. Nonverbal messages are usually more believ- able and more reliable than verbal messages. Verbal communication, or language, is crucial in forming and maintaining social relationships, and being competent in your verbal com- munication is essential to your personal and professional success. But an understanding of nonverbal communication is also essential given the sheer number of nonverbal messages. In fact, findings from a variety of research studies suggest that 60–65% of meaning in social interactions is derived from nonverbal messages (Burgoon, 1994).

To account for the importance of both of these types of messages, Chapter 4 examines verbal symbols and nonverbal messages as they are used in interpersonal communication contexts.

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

We combine information about verbal and nonverbal communication into a single chapter to understand how each are important individually as well as to emphasize how much we rely on both types of messages in our interpersonal communication. We begin by exploring verbal communication with a brief history of language acquisition and the English language in the United States. Next, we consider the ways that nonverbal communication functions in our interactions and discuss different types of nonverbal communication messages. We also explore verbal and nonverbal elements of communication, including how both operate in online settings, and we identify ways in which we can improve both our verbal and nonverbal communication competence.

4.1 Verbal Communication As we discussed in Chapter 1, language is a system of human communication that uses a particular form of spoken or written words or other symbols. Language is the primary code humans use to communicate. Language is so vital to who we are as humans that it shapes how we think and how we view the world around us. In essence, we need language as a filter through which to cognitively process and perceive our inner and outer worlds. (We will return more to these ideas when we discuss culture and language later in this chapter.) Language is also crucial in forming and maintaining social relationships and is essential to personal and professional success. You may consider speech natural and not always pay close attention to the words you use. However, you make language choices whenever you speak, although you may not always do so consciously. You become a more competent communicator when you become a more conscientious creator of messages. You can do this by making sure that your language is appropriate for the situation, the other person to whom you are speaking, and the purpose of the communication.

Many languages, including English, have formal and informal language. Formal language is more careful and more mannered than everyday speech. It is used to express serious thought, which is generally clear, accurate, and not overly emotional. It avoids colloquialisms, slang, and biased language. Formal language is the standard speech of the academic world and the appropriate language in most business and professional settings, with clients or customers, in professional writing, and in public speaking situations. There are some formal systems of language that are used in academic settings, such as MLA or APA style. These set norms of writing carefully credit sources and structure formal writing.

In contrast, informal language describes a wide range of common and nonstandard Eng- lish, including jargon, colloquialisms, idioms, and slang. Informal language is appropriate in casual conversation with peers or in special circumstances. For example, would you use the words “woke,” “lit,” or even “huge” in a formal essay assigned for one of your college courses? Hopefully not, as informal language is usually not appropriate in written communication or in professional and academic settings. Breaking these sorts of “rules,” which are usually unspo- ken, could also run the risk of harming how others view you and damage your “face,” or their impression of you. (Read the Web Field Trip feature for a quick look at the history of the Eng- lish language and its evolution.)

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

The History of Language Researchers agree that one characteristic sets humans apart from their animal cousins: com- munication. Language—in both spoken and written form—is unique to human beings and is considered by some to be the most exceptional behavior that humans can enact. Although there is no specific date that we can pinpoint as to when language first emerged, we can esti- mate that our ancestors have been verbally communicating for approximately a million years. In fact, physiologically, human beings are the only animals who are capable of producing spo- ken language. When humans started walking on two legs instead of four, the descent of the larynx—the organ that forms part of the air passage to the lungs and that contains our vocal chords—allowed the tongue to move in a way that could produce a variety of sounds, which were then used as a basis for verbal communication. The concurrency of these physiological developments means that the formation and growth of language likely occurred during the origin of modern human behavior.

Scholars do not uniformly agree on how to classify languages, and it is almost impossible to conduct a global census of all language speakers, so the number of estimated languages and number of speakers of each language around the world varies from source to source.

Although no common global language exists, political, economic, and technological changes have dramatically increased the use of English over the past few decades (Campbell-Laird, 2004). Its use predominates in business, science and technology, and international maritime and aviation transactions. More than half of the world’s books and three-quarters of interna- tional mail are written in English, and English sites dominate the Internet (Tonkin & Reagan, 2003). Like other languages, English is always growing and evolving. Old words continually gain new dictionary definitions, and new words are constantly being added to the vernacu- lar—that is, the variety of language used by speakers in informal situations—through the creation of slang terms and newly coined words such as hangry and bingeable, which were recently added to Merriam Webster’s dictionary (“We Put a Bunch of New Words in the Dic- tionary,” 2018).

The U.S. Constitution does not designate an official language; however, the widespread use of English has made it the recognized language, or de facto language, of the United States

Web Field Tr ip: Eng lish L ang uage Timeline The British Library provides a fascinating timeline of how the English language has evolved since the 11th century. English has undergone a significant evolution through the ages. Though we technically speak the same language as our English-speaking ancestors, it is likely we would have difficulty understanding one another. Visit the library’s “English Timeline” at http://www.bl.uk/learning/langlit/timeline/index.html, and then consider the following questions.

Critical Thinking Questions

1. At what point in this timeline do you think you could carry on a reasonable conversa- tion with English speakers from the past?

2. Do you think we will be unable to understand individuals who are speaking English a few hundred years from now?

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

(Official English, 2010). Thus, it is not surprising that over 20% of individuals living in the United States—or 59.5 million people—speak a language other than English at home, accord- ing to data from the 2010 census (Rumbaut & Massey, 2013). Like many languages, Ameri- can English has various dialects—geographic or social differences in the way groups of people use the same language. People who speak different dialects can usually understand one another because they have the same language. However, they have different vocabularies and unique phonology—the way the language sounds. For example, it is easy to recognize differences between British and American English. The two dialects have both vocabulary differences (such as petrol versus gasoline and lift versus elevator) and different phonology. The early settlement patterns of the eastern United States mentioned earlier resulted in three primary dialects of American English: Northern, Midland, and Southern. A Western dialect began to develop in the late 1800s that was influenced primarily by Northern Midland speech. However, the original Spanish-speaking populations and immigrant Chinese also affected the Western dialect. Figure 4.1 shows a regional map of American English dialects.

Figure 4.1: National map of regional dialects of American English ሁ American English has many dialects, and, as the map indicates, many are associated with a geographic region of the country.

Source: Boeree, C. G. (2004). Dialects of English. Retrieved from Shippensburg University website at http://webspace.ship.edu/cgboer/dialectsofenglish.html. Used by permission.

The influence of other immigrants (such as populations of Jews and immigrants from coun- tries such as Ireland, Italy, and Poland) created regional variations and other dialects in the eastern region of the United States. Even today it is easy to see how different words came to be used for common objects in different regions of the United States. Table 4.1, for example, illustrates American English vocabulary differences for a well-known sandwich and beverage.

West Texas

Arkansas- Oklahoma

Ohio-Plains

Mississippi- Gulf Georgia-

Florida

South Carolina

North Carolina

VirginiaAppalachian

Pittsburgh Philadelphia area

NYC area

Boston area

Northern New England

North Central

Northeastern

W E S T E R N N O R T H M I D L A N D

N O R T H E R N

S O U T H E R N

S O U T H M I D L A N D

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

Table 4.1: Vocabulary differences in dialects of American English Food type Region of the United States

Sandwich

Hero New York

Hoagie Philadelphia

Grinder Boston

Poor-boy Southern

Submarine or sub Western

Beverage

Tonic Boston

Soda Northern and North Midland east of the Susquehanna River

Pop Northern and North Midland west of the Susquehanna River

Cold drink South and South Midland

Coke (also cola, soft drink, soda pop, soda water, and phosphate)

Rhode Island

Source: Boeree, C. G. (2004). Dialects of English. Retrieved from Shippensburg University website at http://webspace.ship.edu/ cgboer/dialectsofenglish.html. Used by permission.

The Role of Language We can use language for any number of reasons or to accomplish many different types of goals. Language

1. serves as an abstraction of reality, 2. sustains and transmits culture, 3. expresses imagination and creativity, and 4. expresses confirming and disconfirming messages.

These four roles that language serves are particularly important for understanding how and why we verbally communicate in interpersonal settings. Each of these functions is discussed next.

Language Serves as an Abstraction of Reality Language is powerful because you can use it to construct your reality. You use the words of your primary language to represent tangible and abstract objects. You often form a mental picture of the object as you say a word and are thus also able to mentally create your world. In this way, you associate words with the objects they represent. However, the word is not the “thing” itself, but simply an abstract symbol, which is anything that conveys a meaning, such as the words, pictures, sounds, marks, or objects we use to represent something else that is apart from tangible existence and that exists only in the mind. A symbol can be writ- ten, spoken, or nonverbal in nature. Drawings, photographs, and music can be symbolic. Even objects such as homes, automobiles, clothing, and jewelry can be symbols. In fact, they are often referred to as status symbols. Your mental image of the symbol is of your own making; for this reason, symbols do not have the exact same meaning to everyone.

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

For example, the word freedom is not something that you can see, hear, or touch . However, when you hear the word freedom, you imagine or visualize something in your mind. This mental image is what the word means to you. For example, if someone has immigrated to the United States from a country where they suffered from religious persecution, freedom might mean practicing religion without fear. If one has been in prison for many years, freedom could mean having the choice to be able to walk in a beautiful park. To someone else, freedom might conjure up patriotic images of the U.S. flag or Fourth of July fireworks. What mental picture do you associate with the word freedom? Although we have different pictures in our minds when we hear or use a word and share a common language, we can communicate with one another because words have common denotations. The denotation is the dictionary definition or description of what the word represents—a definition that most can agree on. For example, if you look up the word grandmother in a dictionary, you will find it described in a manner similar to the following:

Grandmother: The mother of one’s father or mother.

The dictionary definition, or denotation, gives you the essential characteristics of what a grandmother is and helps you construct a basic mental picture of it. The denotations of con- crete words such as grandmother are generally clear and descriptive. If you did not know what a grandmother is, it would be fairly easy for you to learn what it is from this denotation.

Abstract words such as freedom also have denotations. However, the denotation of an abstract word is less specific and more subject to personal interpretation. For instance, a dictionary definition of the word freedom reads something like the following:

Freedom: The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants or to exercise choice and free will.

The definition, or denotation, of this abstract word is probably broad enough to encompass the various interpretations different people might give to the word. However, it does not spe- cifically tell you what type of power or right that freedom provides or what obligations or duties you might have from which you need to be freed. What is meant by the word power, for example? Does it refer to physical strength, control or influence over others, or spiritual power? What is meant by free will? Answers to these questions are subjective; each person will answer them in their own way based on their own perceptions, self-concept, and past experiences.

In addition to denotations, words also have connotations. The connotation is created by the personal association you have with a certain word or the emotional meaning or impact of the word to you. Connotations are frequently shared among members of a particular society, but they also contain elements that are unique to each person. Connotative meanings exist along with denotative meanings, and they are generally either positive or negative. For example, when we first mentioned the word grandmother, you likely immediately imagined your own grandmother. But maybe what you picture is the general image of a grandmother in our soci- ety—an image of an older woman with gray or white hair who wears glasses and is warm and welcoming. We can have connotations for any number of things that we use language to describe, including the things that we like and the food that we eat. For example, the Corn Refiners Association was concerned that consumers were linking the term high fructose corn syrup with obesity. This connotation of high fructose corn syrup was so detrimental to sales

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

of their food products containing the ingredient that, in 2010, they applied to the federal gov- ernment to rename the ingredient on their labels as corn syrup instead (Fredrix, 2010).

Language Sustains and Transmits Culture Written and spoken verbal messages are a primary method that individuals use to sus- tain their culture and to educate and trans- mit elements of their culture to others. We learn about our own and others’ cultures by reading books, searching online, and talking with others about their cultural experi- ences. Culture is passed down from genera- tion to generation in multiple verbal forms: through spoken stories or oral histories, by writing down old family recipes, and via poetry, literature, and song. If we share a language with another culture that we are visiting, we rely on that form of communica- tion in multiple ways: by asking natives for directions, by looking to street or public transportation signs to determine where we are and to find our way, and by reading written descriptions of places and things when visit- ing a culture’s museums, parks, or memorials. (See the IPC Research Applied feature for some insight into what your name conveys about you.)

IPC Research Applied: What Does Your Given Name Say About You? Your first name—it is as much a part of you as the color of your eyes or your height. However, your name can also be considered a form of verbal communication, one that may be a clue about how individualistic your culture is. One interesting way to consider the interrelationship between culture and language is by tracing patterns of how U.S. parents name their children over time. In a research study that was conducted in 2007, social psychologists Jean Twenge, Emodish Abebe, and W. Keith Campbell analyzed nam- ing data from the Social Security Administration from the years 1880 to 2007 to deter- mine how many children were given common or popular names each year. This analysis included over 325 million names—a massive sample size for a study of language. Twenge and her colleagues (2007) argued that the number of children given common names would decrease over time, and that this decrease would ref lect the growing individualistic nature of American culture.

The researchers found that the number of babies given common name by their parents has indeed decreased substantially: from 40% in 1890 to less than 10% in 2007 for boys, and from 25% to 8% for girls during this same period. This decrease began to be steady in 1950 and then became particularly steep and continuous in 1983. The authors attributed this decrease to an increased interest in giving children names “that will help them stand

(continued on next page)

krisblackphotography/iStock /Getty Images Plus ሁ Language allows us to pass down aspects of

our culture, such as recipes, from generation to generation.

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

In addition, many communication theorists believe that the language that we use determines how we think and how we behave. In the early 1900s, anthropologist Edward Sapir posited a theory that there was a connection between culture and language. Sapir believed that the very structure of human language shapes our perceptions and how we view the world. Sapir’s stu- dent, Benjamin Whorf (1940), took Sapir’s idea and then developed what is known as the Sapir–Whorf hypothesis, which states that language is not just a way of voicing ideas, but it also shapes and determines those ideas. The hypothesis states that we cannot think outside the confines of our language. In other words, we are so immersed in our language and our culture that we do not recognize how it influences our view of the world. For example, in Japan, privacy is not prioritized to nearly the extent that it is in the United States. As such, the Japanese had no word for privacy, and instead adapted our English word: “praibashii” (Worsley, 2012).

Language Expresses Imagination and Creativity Our capacity for language is endless and it allows us to have a rich and vivid mental life in which we can suffer regret, reminisce about events that occurred decades ago, have complex wishes and yearnings, and reflect on what it is like to be ourselves. Language allows us to have not only real experiences, but experiences that we simply imagine. Through language, you can create and play with ideas that do not exist in the real world. You can recite stories, poems, rhymes, and riddles and engage in games of pretend by yourself or with others. Unlimited combinations of symbols are possible and, therefore, so are “mental creation[s] of possible worlds” (Chomsky, 2004, para. 12). Our use of symbols to represent physical objects, ideas, and emotions gives us the capacity to build cities, to make laws, and to create art and music. Verbal communication then gives us the unique ability to work together as social creatures to put those ideas into reality.

IPC Research Applied: What Does Your Given Name Say About You? (continued) out rather than fit in,” which is a way to use language to increasingly emphasize being unique or individualistic in American culture (Twenge et al., 2007, p. 22).

Think about your own name. If you have a nickname that you prefer, why did you choose to use it instead of your full first name? For example, “Jennifer” was an extremely com- mon name for baby girls in the United States in the 1970s and early 1980s, and having that name usually meant sharing it with at least one or two other females in school and at work. This common first name can be frustrating at times, because it means having to constantly distinguish yourself (e.g., by preferring to be called “Jen” or by using the first letter of your last name to set you apart). Keep this in mind as you consider the following questions.

Critical Thinking Questions

1. What does your own name say about you? Is it a common name or one that is a bit more unique?

2. How does the individuality of your name impact who you are and how you interact with others?

3. What effect might popular culture, in either a dominant or co-culture, have on baby name trends?

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

In addition, if there is not a symbol for what you are envisioning in your mind, you can use language to create one. Over time, we have agreed to make various sounds and written com- binations of letters and marks stand for certain objects in the environment, for certain behav- iors, or for experiences we pick up through our senses or that register in our nervous system and we call emotions (Hayakawa, 1964). Our ability to be creative and imaginative with lan- guage is evident in the fact that 15,000 to 20,000 words are added to the English language per year. For example, the word youthquake, which is “a significant cultural, political, or social change arising from the actions or influence of young people,” was the 2017 Oxford word of the year (“Word of the Year 2017 Is…,” 2017, para. 4). This imaginative function of language thus allows you to flex your creativity in ways you never thought were imaginable (Halliday & Webster, 2004).

Language Offers Confirming and Disconfirming Messages As you have likely figured out, language is a powerful tool for human understanding, and even just for basic survival. It can also be harmful or helpful in our interpersonal relationships. Through verbal communication, we can confirm or disconfirm those with whom we interact. A confirming message is one that provides a basic acknowledgment that the other person is present and demonstrates your acceptance of them, how they define or view themselves, and the relationship that you share. Using confirming messages is associated with greater openness and shows that you positively regard the other person (Dailey, 2006). Imagine your best friend is involved in a frustrating romantic relationship and often wants to discuss this relationship with you. After a while it begins to bother you, especially when your friend fails to take your advice, and it may be a struggle for you to continue to use confirming messages. However, you can still do so in a number of ways, such as by maintaining focus on the situ- ation and being involved in the interaction. This does not mean that you always agree with your friend but that you recognize your friend’s point of view. You can engage in a dialogue by being a simultaneous sender and receiver and express concern in a respectful way. And you can ask questions to reflect back what your friend says and show that you understand. In this way, you are being both an effective and appropriate communicator with your friend, demonstrating your interpersonal communication competence by taking responsibility for your communication, acknowledging that your view is one of only many, and respecting oth- ers. Table 4.2 presents examples of confirming messages.

Table 4.2: Examples of confirming messages Message Explanation Example message

Communicator maintains focus on the situation

Gives the other communicator exclusive attention

“Okay, I’ll put my laptop down so I won’t be distracted.”

Communicator is involved in the interaction

Recognizes the other commu- nicator’s point of view, even if there is disagreement

“I hear what you are saying, but I’m not sure if that is the way that I would go about it.”

Communicator is engaged in a dialogue

Simultaneously sends and receives messages and expresses concern in a respectful way

“I’m listening to you, and I am worried about what I am hearing.”

Communicator shows that he or she understands

Asks questions to reflect back what the other communicator has said

“It sounds to me as if you are upset—am I right?”

Section 4.1Verbal Communication

In contrast, a disconfirming message does the opposite of a confirming message: You not only disregard the other person as an individual, you also ignore what the person says. The disconfirming message is thus one where you clearly indicate that that individual is not worth your time or effort and that you have a negative regard for that person (Dailey, 2006). Con- sider again your friend who is in a frustrating romantic relationship. When you feel irritated by the discussions with your friend, you might start to use disconfirming messages in a num- ber of ways: ignoring your friend and her situation; not giving your friend a chance to speak; immediately evaluating your friend’s situation; or discouraging or interrupting your friend during the conversation. Table 4.3 presents examples of disconfirming messages.

Table 4.3: Examples of disconfirming messages Message Explanation Example message

Communicator ignores the other communicator

Does not give the other commu- nicator or the situation exclusive attention

“I don’t want to talk again, so I’m going to let this call go straight to voicemail.”

Communicator dictates the focus of the conversation

Does not give the other commu- nicator a chance to speak

“Enough of this. You need to listen to what I have to say.”

Communicator makes assump- tions about the interaction

Evaluates and responds to the other communicator’s situation before hearing details

“I don’t need to hear your side; I already know what you should do.”

Communicator dominates the interaction

Discourages or interrupts the other communicator during the conversation

“Do we really need to talk about this again, for the millionth time?”

Consistently disconfirming a person is not recommended, as it can reduce the person’s self- esteem and damage your relationship. For example, engaging in the demand/withdraw conflict pattern in a parent–adolescent child relationship—where one individual nags and dominates and the other person ignores and avoids—is associated with lower self-esteem for both family members (Caughlin & Malis, 2004). Further, romantic partners across four countries—the United States, Brazil, Taiwan, and Italy—who use this demand/withdraw dis- confirming message pattern also have lower relationship satisfaction (Christensen, Eldridge, Catta-Preta, Lim, & Santagata, 2006). If you suspect that you are using messages such as those described in Table 4.3—ones that dominate, dictate, or ignore—try to be more aware of how the other person reacts when you use disconfirming messages. Do they seem upset or hurt or become unusually quiet? Being more aware of the other communicator by trying to take that person’s perspective can help you replace disconfirming messages with confirming ones. Acknowledging the other communicator’s view of the situation in this way exemplifies one of the principles of competent communication discussed in Chapter 1.

Biased Language Some language is considered improper or unacceptable in almost all contexts. For example, biased language presents information in a way that shows preference for or against a certain point of view, shows prejudice, or is demeaning to others. Biased language usually refers to the use of words that intentionally or unintentionally offend people or express negative attitudes concerning a person’s race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, age, disability, or illness. This type of language has no place in professional or academic situations and should also be

Section 4.2Nonverbal Communication

avoided in personal communication. Biased language is not objective; rather, it is offensive, negative, and reveals an individual’s prejudices. Such language thus obstructs open-minded communication and cooperation between individuals and communities. With regard to com- munication competence as we first discussed in Chapter 1, use of biased language reflects the ineffectiveness and inappropriateness that comprise communicative incompetence while also demonstrating disrespect, a lack of responsibility for your communication behavior, and a failure to acknowledge that yours is not the only view.

Racist language, for example, is the use of language to demean or insult people on the basis of their race or ethnicity. Intentionally using racial slurs constitutes racist language, but you can also insult people and express negative attitudes about race unintentionally when you use stereotypes regarding race or emphasize someone’s race unnecessarily in your commu- nication. For example, Nazi propaganda intentionally dehumanizes Jewish people by labeling them as untermenschen, or subhuman, and referring to them as rats, stating that they needed to be exterminated like a virus (Smith, 2011). Over time, these linguistic characterizations allowed the Nazis and German citizens to justify the horrors they were seeing and committing during World War II (Smith, 2011). Pointing out someone’s race when it is irrelevant can also be considered racist language, as when you state, for example, “I had an appointment with my Latino dentist yesterday.”

Language reflects changes in society, and some language that is biased against specific groups of people and that might once have been used regularly is now considered improper and inap- propriate. At one time, for instance, the word man was considered a generic word that referred to all humans. Today, such usage is considered sexist language because it excludes individuals on the basis of gender. It is considered inappropriate today to use the term man and the pro- nouns he, him, and his to refer to people of both genders. Instead of saying, “Every employee must schedule his vacation,” you might make the word employee plural and say, “All employees must schedule their vacations.” Increased use of such gender-fair language has the real poten- tial to continue to neutralize gender inequality in the workplace (Morgenroth & Ryan, 2018).

To communicate in an unbiased manner, you must be aware of and sensitive to the use of terms that others consider demeaning or offensive and refer to people using the terms that they prefer to describe them. You must be particularly wary of language related to gender, sexual orientation, age, physical disability, or illness. For instance, including references to gender, when unnecessary, can be considered demeaning. Medical personnel, for example, can be male or female, so it is unnecessary and often insulting to state, “I had a male nurse when I was in the hospital recently,” or “I met a lady doctor.” Your language choices reflect your attitude toward a subject, so avoid derogatory phrases such as “little old lady” to refer to an older person or “handicapped” to describe a person with a disability. Instead emphasize the person first in the language, not the age, the disability, the race, or the illness. Use phrases like “people who are visually impaired” or “a man who is 75 years old” instead of “the blind” or “an old guy.” If you are not sure which terms are best, ask the person you are referring to or others for guidance.

4.2 Nonverbal Communication Though we have thus far discussed verbal and nonverbal communication separately, they typically are encoded and decoded together in an interaction, and we rely on both to achieve shared meaning between communicators. Specifically, nonverbal communication may

Section 4.2Nonverbal Communication

• reinforce, complement, or emphasize the words you speak; • stand in for verbal communication entirely; • interrupt or distract from verbal communication and be a communication barrier or

a form of noise; or • conflict with or contradict the verbal message entirely.

In the following sections, we examine nonverbal communication by identifying some of the important functions that this type of communication serves in our interactions with others. We also describe some of the different types of nonverbal communication, including voice, touch, body movements, and personal space and distance. As we discuss the different func- tions and types of nonverbal communication, it is important to remember that this type of message is bound by culture. This means that certain nonverbal messages are interpreted differently in different cultures, and that cultural mores determine what nonverbal behaviors are appropriate in particular situations. As you read the sections below, consider how mem- bers of co-cultures that you are a part of may communicate differently than the dominant U.S. cultural examples that we present here.

The Role of Nonverbal Communication When you communicate nonverbally, you use every way other than language to send mes- sages. Some of these messages are conscious and intentional, but many are innate, uncon- scious aspects of your unique voice or body that you can do little to change. These nonverbal messages serve four important roles in interpersonal communication, including

1. managing your impressions and identities, 2. managing and interpreting your relationships, 3. regulating the flow of interactions, and 4. engaging in and detecting messages of emotion, influence, and deception.

We discuss these roles next and then describe forms of nonverbal communication that are central in our interactions with others.

Manage Impressions and Identities Even before another person opens her mouth to speak, you have likely already started to form an impression of her based on how she looks, what she is wearing, her posture, and whether she makes eye contact. At the same time, that other person is forming an impres- sion of you using similar nonverbal cues. Physical appearance and body movements are par- ticularly important in forming first impressions because these are the two visual cues that are noticed first (Guerrero et al., 2008). Research identifies the importance of these initial impressions. For example, in one of the first studies on how individuals form impressions of others, researchers found that we tend to make accurate and enduring judgments about oth- ers we have just met (those we have zero acquaintance with) in only a short amount of time (less than 5 minutes) and with limited information—primarily the other person’s physical appearance (Albright, Kenny, & Malloy, 1988). This is true online as well: in online dating pro- files and on social media sites, nonverbal messages such as photos “carry greater impression formation weight” than written self-disclosures and descriptions (Toma & D’Angelo, 2017, p. 154).

Section 4.2Nonverbal Communication

As we form impressions of others via nonverbal messages, we also work to manage the impressions others have of us. Again, nonverbal communication is important in managing others’ impressions, as evidenced when we dress up for a first date or practice our handshake before an important job interview. The impressions we believe others have of us then contrib- ute to our identities (and vice versa) by serving as the looking-glass self discussed in Chapter 2. There is evidence for this link between impression and identity in a number of contexts. In the health context, the nonverbal message of the physical appearance of nurses’ uniforms is an important aspect of their identities for patients (Tam, Ng, & Kowitlawakul, 2018). Specifi- cally, wearing a white nurse’s uniform is preferred by patients in a Singapore hospital because doing so conformed to their stereotypical schema of a “nurse” (Tam et al., 2018). With regard to social media content, a Facebook friend’s embarrassing post about you is likely to elicit a nonverbal response in the form of nervous laughter, raised eyebrows, head shaking, or sharp exhaling (Oeldhorf-Hirsch, Birnholz, & Hancock, 2017). Further, according to the findings of Oeldhorf-Hirsch and associates (2017), the degree of embarrassment you might feel about your friend’s Facebook post is likely related to how inconsistent you feel the content is with your identity (e.g., your friend said that you fell down, but you are a dancer and viewed by many as graceful, so this information is inconsistent with how you see yourself ). Across con- texts and using a variety of nonverbal cues, these studies show that nonverbal communica- tion is an important factor in how we perceive others and how others perceive us.

Manage and Interpret Relationships In Chapter 1, we discussed the distinction between content and relationship messages and noted that we tend to gather more relationship information through nonverbal communica- tion. This means that instead of verbally talking about your relationship, you tend to rely on nonverbal cues such as touch, personal space, facial expressions, and body movements to help you interpret the relationship. Nonverbal messages can in fact provide us with a great deal of relational information: what type of relationship it is; how intimate, close, or involved the individuals are; how comfortable they are with each other; and even whether the rela- tionship is more formal or informal in nature. The next time you are in a public place, take a moment to observe, from a distance, two people communicating. Even if you cannot hear the discussion, you will be amazed by how much you can learn about the communicators simply by observing the nonverbal messages used during their interaction. For example, whether and how they touch can give you clues about the type of relationship they have. The volume and pitch of their voices will indicate to you whether the topic they are discussing is some- thing they are excited about or find boring. Being more alert about nonverbal messages used by yourself and others can give you greater insight into your own relationships as well.

Regulate Interactions Do you ever wonder how we are so seamlessly able to take turns in an interaction? How do we know when to speak and how do others know when it is their turn to talk? It is very rare for us to finish a point and then say, “It is your turn to speak now.” Instead, a variety of subtle nonverbal cues serve this purpose, and there are different ways that we can use such cues to regulate an interaction. First, we exercise turn-requesting cues if we wish to speak. For example, we may raise our hand or lean in toward the other communicator. But if we do not want to talk, turn denying, we might look away, lean back, or shake our head. Turn yielding occurs when a speaker is done and wants to invite others to contribute to the discussion. This individual could signal this shift by extending his arms and hands outward or by altering the pitch of his voice. However, if the speaker would like to continue talking, turn maintaining, she

Section 4.2Nonverbal Communication

might put out her hand or raise the volume of her voice to stop a partner’s turn request. Such nonverbal messages are thus integral tools we can use to manage the flow of conversation.

Engage in and Detect Emotional, Influence, and Deception Messages The final function of nonverbal communi- cation involves the pursuit of three specific communication goals. The first is to express emotion, and we depend on nonverbal communication a great deal when we want to share how we are feeling. For example, crying, frowning, hugging, and speaking in a higher pitch can indicate sadness, whereas smiling, shouting, and jumping up and down are typically nonverbal cues of happiness. However, it is rare for someone to experience and express a single emo- tion. Instead, we tend to experience and express a mixture of emotions, which are called affect blends. For example, if your romantic partner proposes to you, you are likely to be both surprised and happy, and you will nonverbally express elements of both emotions. We also use nonverbal communi- cation to determine what emotions others are experiencing. For example, a study by Sally Planalp (1998) that asked participants to simply consider how they could tell when some- one else was feeling an emotion found that a combination of vocal, facial, and body cues were frequently used to decode another person’s emotions and that verbal cues (i.e., lan- guage) were considered less often.

Nonverbal communication is also instrumental in influencing or persuading others. For exam- ple, advertisements in our culture often use attractive, fit individuals to represent products. Descriptions of products and services also rely on vocal characteristics such as a soft voice that is not monotone or too high or shrill. In our culture, attractive voices such as these are viewed as more competent and more socially skilled (Semic, 2007). In political campaigns, every element of candidates’ appearances, down to what they wear and how approachable they seem, is constantly monitored and scrutinized by the media and voters. We also employ nonverbal cues on an interpersonal level when we try to persuade others. One analysis (Seg- rin, 1993) found that we are more likely to convince someone to behave or act in a certain way if we engage in the following nonverbal behaviors: increase eye contact, lightly touch the person on the arm or shoulder, stand at a close but comfortable distance from the person, or wear formal, higher-status clothing. This study also found that these nonverbal tactics are as effective as verbal messages for gaining compliance in interpersonal interactions (Segrin, 1993).

Finally, nonverbal communication can be used to deceive others and to detect the deceit of others. Unlike emotion and influence, however, the decision to focus on nonverbal commu- nication in deception situations is not an effective strategy. Most of us believe that we can correctly detect deception, but our accuracy rate is approximately 55%, which means we are about as likely to detect deception as we are to correctly predict heads or tails in a coin toss. It is possible our accuracy rate is low because many communicators know that certain nonverbal

Thomas Barwick/Stone/Getty Images ሁ Vocal, facial, and body cues can reveal our

emotions and help us decode others’ emotions. What emotions would you say are being communicated in this photo?

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

cues—such as averting eye contact, fidgeting, or pausing before speaking—can decrease the credibility of a lie and thereby know to conceal such nonverbal cues. In a landmark study (Park, Levine, McCornack, Morrison, & Ferrara, 2002), college students were asked to recall actual situations where deception was detected (where either they were themselves caught lying or they found out someone else was deceiving them). In only 2.1% of these instances were nonverbal behaviors (along with verbal messages) instrumental in detecting deception at the time the lie was told. Instead, the most common methods of discovery were informa- tion from others, a combination of methods, and physical evidence (Park et al., 2002). The takeaway message is to depend less on nonverbal communication if you suspect someone is lying to you. Instead, focus on the bigger picture, listen for verbal inconsistencies, and study the observations made by other communicators.

4.3 Types of Nonverbal Communication Because nonverbal communication involves every way other than language that we can com- municate, many different nonverbal cues exist. How we look and dress, whether we touch someone or not, the sound of our voice, and even how we smell can encode a message to oth- ers. Describing all the different forms of nonverbal communication is beyond the scope of this text. Instead, we will focus on the following four types of nonverbal communication:

1. body language (referred to as kinesics) 2. vocalics (referred to as paralanguage) 3. touch (referred to as haptics) 4. personal space (referred to as proxemics)

We significantly rely on these four types of nonverbal communication during our interper- sonal interactions, and each type is discussed in detail next. (Check out the Web Field Trip feature for a quick overview of nonverbal behaviors.)

Web Field Tr ip: Dic t ionar y of Nonverbals The Center for Nonverbal Studies is a private nonprofit center that aims to advance the study of nonverbal human communication. Explore the center’s “Nonverbal Dictionary” at http://center-for-nonverbal-studies.org/htdocs/6101.html. The entries and the discussion in this dictionary consider a range of nonverbal communications, which researchers in a variety of different academic fields study from the perspectives of their respective disci- plines. Keep these examples in mind as you learn more about the different types of non- verbal communication, and consider two similar nonverbals, such as smile and laugh, when you evaluate the following questions.

Critical Thinking Questions

1. How do the separate usage and anatomy definitions differ between two similar nonverbals?

2. What is the significance of discussing media as it relates to the distinct nonverbals?

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

Body Language/Kinesics Body language, also called kinesics, is a broad category of nonverbal messages that includes any way that our body can move, including nodding your head in response to something someone says, leaning forward or backward, and crossing your legs. Facial expressions and eye behaviors are also types of kinesics because they involve specific body movements. In fact, anthropologist Ray Birdwhistell (1952) identified 250,000 different kines, which are the smallest identifiable body movements, in the facial region alone.

Gestures A wealth of unspoken information is communicated with your body, and gestural communi- cation, which is communication related to how you use and move your body, plays a crucial role in interpersonal communication. These gestures usually reinforce or complement the verbal message, although you can also use gestures without words. In these instances, ges- tures may carry the entire burden of the communication. Although the hands are the most common body parts used for gesturing, you can use other parts of your body, such as when you shrug your shoulders, nod your head, or wink. Table 4.4 describes some common ges- tures that are used in the United States. Consider how you would interpret each one in an everyday conversation and how these interpretations might differ if you were communicating with someone from a different culture.

Table 4.4: Five common gestures used in the United States Gesture Description Possible meaning(s)

Shaking your finger at someone Creating a fist with your index finger pointing outward and then moving the finger left and right three or four times

A reprimand for doing some- thing incorrectly

Knocking on wood Creating a fist with knuckle down and then moving it upward and downward in short movements

A superstitious behavior that is intended to ward off bad luck

Shrugging your shoulders Moving your shoulders upward and downward several times

An act that indicates someone is unsure or does not know a piece of information; can also be a way to move rhythmically or in time to music

Rubbing your stomach Making a circular movement with your hand on your stomach, palm inward

A gesture that shows that some- one is hungry

Twiddling your thumbs Interlocking the fingers of your hands and then moving your thumbs in circles around each other

An act of boredom or not know- ing what to do in a particular situation

Many gestures are emblems, which are gestures that have a clear and unambiguous verbal equivalent in a given culture (Poyatos, 2002a). When you use an emblem, you are doing so consciously and you likely do not need any verbal communication to get your point across.

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

The hand signals that baseball and football coaches communicate to their players during games are emblems; they are used because verbal communication is difficult due to noisy stadiums, and they prevent the other team from understanding what is being communicated. Most emblems are culturally determined and can get you into difficulty if you use them in other countries. In the United States, some emblematic gestures are the thumb-up-and-out hitchhiking sign, the circled thumb and index finger “OK” sign, and the “V” for victory sign. However, the thumb-up sign in Iran, for example, is an obscene gesture, and the OK sign has sexual connotations in Ethiopia and Mexico (Liebal, Muller, & Pika, 2007).

Facial Expressions The face is a finely tuned visual channel for sharing information with the ability to produce a range of expressions from the very subtle to the very dramatic. For example, arching an eyebrow can convey a look of disbelief or a greeting or acknowledgement (Doherty-Sneddon, 2003). Researchers do not agree on how many facial expressions can be formed, but psychol- ogist Paul Ekman, who has studied facial expressions for more than 50 years, has catalogued more than 10,000 human expressions. His research suggests that some facial expressions are almost universal and others are culturally specific (Ekman, 1971). For example, people in all cultures seem to react to fear with similar facial expressions; however, people in different cul- tures are frightened by different things (Griffiths, 2008). Seven facial expressions—contempt, fear, surprise, anger, disgust, sadness, and happiness, as you can see in Figure 4.2—appear in all or most cultures and are widely accepted by researchers as universal (Duenwald, 2005).

Figure 4.2: Universal facial expressions and emotions ሁ Certain facial expressions associated with specific emotions are consistent across cultures.

Fear The eyes widen and the upper lids rise, as in surprise, but the brows draw together and are not curved. Person has a hard stare. The lips stretch horizontally, and mouth may open.

Anger Both the lower and upper eyelids tighten as the brows lower and are drawn inward and down. Upper eyelids are tense and lids tightened to appear as if squinting. Lips are either tightly pressed together or the mouth is open and squared, with lips raised and/or the jaw thrust forward.

Happiness No distinctive brow appearance. Eyes may be relaxed or neutral or upper lids tense and pulled up at the inner corner, narrowing the eyes and creating crow’s feet at the outside corners. Outer corners of lips are raised and usually drawn back.

(continued on next page)

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

Figure 4.2: Universal facial expressions and emotions (continued)

Source: Paul Ekman, Ph.D./Paul Ekman Group, LLC. Used by permission.

A few facial expressions appear to be innate, but others are learned. For example, just moments after birth, newborn babies make expressions of disgust in response to bitter tastes. As children mature, they learn to produce specific facial expressions, to understand the facial expressions of others, and to modify their own expressions to match those of others. Display rules specific to our dominant culture assist us in learning this type of information by help- ing us determine which facial expressions to use, how intensive the expression should be, or whether we should express ourselves at all. Being able to understand and produce appro- priate facial expressions is essential to a child’s social development, and problems doing so are often signs of developmental disorders such as autism (Doherty-Sneddon, 2003; see the Everyday Communication Challenges feature at the end of this section for more on this topic).

Most adults are adept at controlling their facial movement and masking their feelings, if they work at it. However, this voluntary facial control is only one way that facial expressions are produced. Other facial expressions are spontaneous and involuntary, so they are much more difficult to disguise. These spontaneous expressions, called nonverbal leakage because our emotions involuntarily leak out, occur as a direct result of an emotional experience or feel- ing. So, when you feel sad or happy (two of the suggested universal emotional expressions mentioned earlier), your face will naturally reflect those feelings, unless you deliberately try to mask the expression.

Surprise The upper eyelids and brows rise, the eyebrows are raised and curved, and the jaw drops open.

Sadness Brows are drawn together with inner corners raised and outer corners lowered or level, or brows are drawn down in the middle and slightly raised at inner corners, with eyelids drooping. Mouth is either closed or open with partially stretched, trembling lips, with the corners of the lips pulled down.

Contempt This is the only expression that appears on just one side of the face. One half of the upper lip tightens upward.

Disgust Brows are drawn down but not together. The nose wrinkles, and the lower eyelids are raised but not tensed. Mouth is either open with upper lip raised and lower lip forward or out, mouth is closed with upper lip pushed up while the lower lip protrudes.

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

Paying attention to and accurately interpreting the facial expressions of others is an extremely important skill you must acquire to be a competent communicator. Ekman (1999) also found that emotional expressions are crucial to the development and regulation of interpersonal relationships. Facial expressions are involved in forming attachments with people in infancy as well as in courtship, and they are associated with the regulation, increase, and decrease of aggression. As with all forms of communication, nonverbal messages may be unclear or ambiguous, so providing feedback or questioning someone to make sure your interpretation of facial expressions is correct is an essential part of the communication process. Doing so assists in creating shared meaning and taking responsibility for your communication behav- ior—two communication competence principles we discussed in Chapter 1.

Eye Behavior One of the most important aspects of non- verbal communication is eye behavior. Were you aware that every culture has unwritten rules about when it is permissible to look at someone, where you can look, and how long you can look? For example, in the United States, strangers usually think nothing of stopping someone on the street who is pushing a stroller to gaze at the baby, and caregivers usually think nothing about let- ting them do so. In Japan, however, direct eye contact makes many Japanese people uncomfortable and may be interpreted as an attempt to intimidate or an indication of hostility. Instead, it is advisable to gaze at a person’s forehead or chin most of the time (Gesteland & Seyk, 2002).

Eye behavior communicates in many important ways. You can widen, narrow, close, or roll your eyes. You can raise and lower your gaze, and you can wink. Laughter is also reflected in the eyes, and they become bright when you laugh; however, your eyes can also glaze over when you are bored, and tears can fall from your eyes with sadness (Esposito, Bratanic, & Keller, 2007). Your eyes can send messages of love, hate, dominance, and empathy, and they are important indicators of your feelings.

The act of fixing your eyes on someone is called eye gaze. When you communicate with another person, eye gaze serves two primary purposes: (1) to help you monitor the conversa- tion and know when it is your turn to speak and (2) to obtain feedback (Esposito et al., 2007). Eye gaze typically does not involve steady fixation on one location on the face. Our gaze tends to move around the other person’s face in brief fixations, primarily on the other person’s eyes and mouth. Having someone gaze at you can be pleasant, especially if you look at someone you are attracted to and he or she returns your gaze. However, if you gaze at a person to the extent that it causes discomfort, the person may interpret the eye behavior as threatening or intimidating.

Christopher Robbins/Iconica/Getty images ሁ You can use eye gaze to monitor the other

communicator during a conversation and determine when it is your turn to speak.

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

Vocalics/Paralanguage Your voice reveals a great deal about you. Your vocal quality or tone, rate of speech, volume, pitch, and rhythm, along with your silences and the vocal fillers you use when you pause often communicate your feelings, intentions, and meanings in powerful ways. These vocal elements are called paralanguage. When people are angry, their voices usually get louder and shriller. When tired, their voices are often flat and more monotone. Trainers often instruct people in customer relations jobs to smile when they talk with customers on the telephone because the facial smile also tends to “put a smile in your voice.”

You can recognize people by their voices. In fact, your individual voice is unique, and you can be identified by a voice print, a computer-generated analysis that can distinguish one per- son’s voice from another. How often have you heard someone talking as they walked by and knew who they were before you looked up? In addition to the primary vocal characteristics that give your voice its distinct character, you also use other aspects of paralanguage, such as sounds and silence, to send nonverbal messages about your attitude. Let’s examine how aspects of your voice and elements of paralanguage contribute to your communication with others.

The timbre (pronounced “TAM-ber”) of your voice refers to its overall quality and tone and is often called the “color” of your voice. Timbre is often regarded as one of the primary charac- teristics of a person’s voice. It is what makes your voice either pleasant or disturbing to listen to. Adjectives often used to describe the timbre of a person’s voice include clear, brassy, mel- low, breathy, resonant, piercing, harsh, nasal, warm, melodious, thin, and flat. Vocal exercises or singing lessons can assist in changing the timbre of your voice.

One of the most important ways you convey messages with your voice is through pitch. Vocal pitch describes where your voice is on the musical scale and determines whether singing voices are soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, or bass. Your pitch goes up and down the musical scale as you express different thoughts and feelings. When you are excited, for example, you usually unconsciously tighten the muscles in your throat, which causes your voice to rise in pitch. Changes in pitch are called vocal inflection and can affect how interesting you judge a person to be. Someone who speaks at the same pitch all the time, with no changes in their voice to express emotions, speaks in a monotone, and you may find it boring and difficult to pay attention to that speaker. Vocal inflection is also an important element in creating mean- ing. For example, try this exercise: Say the sentence “I never said he stole money” six times, emphasizing a different word each time. The first time you say the sentence, emphasize the word I: “I never said he stole money.” The second time, emphasize the word never: “I never said he stole money.” Continue the exercise, emphasizing each of the last four words as you repeat the sentence. Did you get a different meaning from the sentence each time?

Tempo refers to your rate of speech—how slowly or quickly you talk. Your speech tempo is influenced by whether you lengthen the syllables of a word (called a drawl) or shorten the syllables (called clipped speech). It is also influenced by how fast you deliver the sequence of words in a sentence, by how often you pause, and by how long you hold that pause between words or sentences. Though tempo is not linked to the language that you speak—meaning that people who speak different languages do not tend to speak at different speech rates (Vaane, 1982)—the accent that you use can make a difference in your perceived competence. Giles (1992) found that individuals with different English accents who had a faster vocal

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

tempo were viewed as more competent. Tempo can also indicate power, self-assurance, or dominance, as when you speak very deliberately and distinctly. On the other hand, if you speak very slowly or hesitate when you talk, the tempo of your speech can show a lack of self-confidence or suggest that you are uncertain about what you are saying (Poyatos, 2002b).

Nonverbal Vocalizations Some of the vocal features that can convey meaning are specific sounds, noises, and behaviors called nonverbal vocalizations. These vocalizations include laughing, crying, shouting, sigh- ing, gasping, panting, yawning, coughing or clearing the throat, spitting, belching, hiccupping, and sneezing. These behaviors, sounds, and noises—along with others humans can produce such as “grrr” to indicate anger or frustration, “psst” to get someone’s attention, or “ah” when we see a beautiful sunset—help us express our ideas and feelings without words (Poyatos, 2002b). Vocalizations can be voluntary or involuntary, but they modify our communication and send a nonverbal message.

Pauses and Silences The presence or absence of pauses or moments of silence, how often they occur, and how appropriate or inappropriate they are to the conversation can be important messages in our communication. “I do not want you to disturb me” is the message of the person sitting next to you in an airplane if he or she remains silent and does not initiate conversation or greet you when you arrive, and most of us get the message (Penna, Mocci, & Sechi, 2009). In addi- tion, giving someone “the silent treatment” is one method of expressing that we are upset with someone, though this communication message is linked to destructive relationship out- comes such as decreased romantic relationship commitment (Wright & Roloff, 2009) and adult child–parent relationship dissatisfaction (Rittenour et al., 2019). Interestingly your use of the silent treatment with one of your parents can also negatively impact your own self- esteem (Rittenour et al., 2019), suggesting that silence can harm how you view yourself as well as your close relationships. As such, be carefully strategic about using silence when you are upset, or this vocalic message runs the risk of building a communication barrier between you and your loved ones.

Touch/Haptics In recent years, researchers have begun focusing on the study of touch, called hap- tics, and how it contributes to interpersonal communication. Indeed, physically touching another, says Dacher Keltner, a psychology researcher at the University of California, Berkeley, is the first nonverbal cue that we learn, and it remains “our richest means of emotional expression” throughout our lives (Carey, 2010, para. 3).

Touch can be receptive, such as when we receive a pat on the back. It can also be expressive and convey a wide range of emo- tions from a slap in anger to a gentle touch

Huntstock/Thinkstock ሁ Touch can be expressive and convey a wide

variety of emotions—often more than can be expressed by a gesture.

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

that communicates empathy to a high five that expresses jubilation. A touch can soothe and comfort or it can push someone away. Touch can often convey a wider range of emotion than a gesture and sometimes more quickly and more easily than words. In a series of experiments, volunteers tried to communicate a list of emotions by touching a blindfolded stranger. The participants were able to communicate eight distinct emotions, from gratitude to disgust to love, some with about 70% accuracy (Carey, 2010).

Across and within cultures, people often object to being touched, unless it is by someone with whom they are in a close relationship and to whom they have given tacit approval for the touch. In a business environment, a handshake is one exception, particularly in the United States upon meeting someone or leaving. A high five or fist bump has also become popular as an informal touch among friends or peers—but not with people in positions of authority, unless they initiate the gesture. Kissing and extended periods of touch, in contrast, are typi- cally reserved for romantic partners or our immediate family members. Therefore, consider your relationship when you touch another person; that is your best guide to what type of touch to use and how long it should last.

Touch is also related to our physical health in a number of different ways. For healthcare pro- viders, touch can communicate caring while also helping to exert their professional influence (Kelly et al., 2018). For example, physicians who lightly touched their patients on the forearm when seeking a verbal promise for them to take their prescription medication received more compliance than physicians who asked for the same promise without touch (Guéguen & Vion, 2009). For patients, touch can reduce anxiety related to medical procedures and may reduce physical and behavioral symptoms of dementia. Specifically, patients whose hands were held during cataract surgery conducted with a local anesthetic experienced significantly less anxi- ety than patients whose hands were not held (Moon & Cho, 2001). Further, dementia patients receiving therapeutic massage or touch engaged in less physically aggressive behavior than patients who did not (Wu, Yang, & Wang, 2017). Together, these studies show the benefits and power of touch for both patients and providers.

Personal Space/Proxemics Another nonverbal cue that affects interpersonal communication is the use of physical space. The study of physical space is known as proxemics. This term was first suggested by anthro- pologist Edward T. Hall in his 1966 book The Hidden Dimension. Hall (1966) suggested that, in the United States, communicating with others happens from one of four primary personal space distances. Your personal space can be thought of as the invisible bubble you carry around your body at all times. These distances, which Hall referred to as spatial zones, are illustrated in Figure 4.3.

• The intimate zone, a distance of between 6 to 18 inches, is reserved for close, inti- mate relationships. A distance of 18 inches is about the length of your arm, so at an intimate distance, you can literally reach out and touch someone.

• The personal zone, from about 18 inches to about 4 feet, is the distance used for everyday encounters. This is the distance that feels most comfortable to Americans when they carry on a casual conversation with a friend or coworker. At this distance, people can move their arms around freely to gesture, without inadvertently touching someone, and this distance allows a normal tone of voice and volume.

• The social zone, a distance of approximately 4 to 12 feet, is sometimes known as a business distance. It is the distance generally used in business meetings at a large

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

conference table and at other formal occasions. Most office desks are between 30 and 42 inches wide, so if one person sits at a chair behind the desk and another person sits on the opposite side of the desk, the two individuals will be positioned in this social zone to carry on a formal conversation such as a job interview.

• The public zone, between 12 and 25 feet, is the distance maintained by public fig- ures when they speak to an audience, such as at a podium in a formal public speak- ing situation.

Figure 4.3: The four primary distances in U.S. culture ሁ Hall (1966) proposed that communication can occur in four distinct personal distance zones: intimate, personal, social or business, and public.

Source: Adapted from Hall, E. T. (1966). The hidden dimension. Garden City, NY: Doubleday.

Public zone (12 ft–25 ft)

Social or business zone (4 ft–12 ft)

Personal zone (18 in– 4 ft)

Intimate zone (6–18 inches)

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

It is interesting to observe behavior when these personal spatial zones are violated. In a crowded elevator, for example, people are often unable to maintain at least 18 inches between themselves and other people. Instead, they may be forced to stand within someone else’s intimate zone. Some people try to deal with this invasion of space in one of two ways. First, they will try to create as much distance between themselves and others as possible. The first person getting into the elevator will usually stand as far as possible to one side, the second person will stand at the opposite side, and a third person will stand in the middle, equidis- tant from the other two. Second, all three people will generally face forward and minimize their nonverbal signals. They will usually avoid eye contact with one another and reduce their facial expressions and body movements.

The distance between people can also send messages about the nature of their relationship. For example, Figure 4.4 illustrates a typical office arrangement in which two people sit across a desk from each other. This positioning puts people at a social or business distance from each other where communication tends to be more formal. Studies also show that this positioning tends to promote competition or is the distance that people maintain when they do not like each other (Hill, Rivers, & Watson, 2008). Simply moving one chair to the side of the desk, as shown in Figure 4.5, reduces the distance between people and puts them at a personal distance from each other. Communication at this distance tends to be more relaxed and infor- mal, and people tend to sit next to or adjacent to those with whom they have a cooperative relationship.

Figure 4.4: Social or business zone ሁ Sitting or standing across from someone tends to be the typical distance for more formal interactions.

Figure 4.5: Personal zone ሁ Moving a chair can change the social distance to a personal distance and create a more informal communication environment.

Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

Ever yday Communic at ion Challenges: Underst anding Cer t ain Healt h Bar r iers to Nonverbal Communic at ion Nonverbal communication helps us understand what is said. In fact, depending on which research you read, nonverbal communication constitutes 80% to 93% of a mes- sage (Thompson, 2011). For this reason, CIA agents closely watch nonverbal cues when interrogating suspects to see if their words match what they communicate nonverbally (Carnicero, 2015).

However, some people’s nonverbal communication naturally does not match their verbal communication. Also, some people don’t decode nonverbal cues well. They either ignore the nonverbal aspect of communication, or the nonverbal cues create “noise” for them—barri- ers to understanding the verbal message relayed.

To understand communication clearly, a person must be able to integrate spoken words with nonverbal aspects of a conversation. It’s not enough to know what the words mean. One also needs to be able to attribute beliefs, intents, desires, and emotions to oneself and to others and to understand that others’ perspectives may differ from one’s own (Paunov, Blank, & Fedorenko, 2019).

That’s why social communication deficits may be most evident in the realm of nonverbal communication.

Recall that nonverbal communication includes tone of voice, body language (gestures, facial expressions, posture), rhythm and rate of speech (known as prosody), and touch. It also can include physiological cues, such as sweaty palms. Some people, especially those with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and trau- matic brain injury (TBI), have greater difficulty than others in accurately “reading” non- verbal cues. Communication can suffer as a result.

The brain processes nonverbal cues on a subconscious level before cognitive recognition of them comes “online.” However, the task of bringing that information “to the surface” is sometimes impaired or dampened (Charuvastra & Cloitre, 2008), causing misreading of emotions and other communication problems.

Rhythm and rate of speech can communicate feelings, intentions, and emotions to others. For example, people usually speak faster and the pitch of their voice rises when they’re excited. However, in people with ASD, unusual variability in prosody is common, and stress increases that variability (Denworth, 2018).

A hug or other form of social touch can be reassuring to many people; but it can be a threat to people with PTSD, particularly those who have experienced interpersonal trauma (Strauss et al., 2019; Charuvastra & Cloitre, 2008). People with ASD have impaired responses to interpersonal touch (Peled-Avron, 2017). People recovering from TBI may be uncomfortable with different types and amounts of physical contact (“Communication Effects After Brain Injury,” 2012).

Broadly speaking, communication consists of what our senses take in, what our brains process, and how we respond to that information. Sounds simple. But “decoding” nonverbal communication can be a bumpy process for people with ASD, PTSD, or TBI. The nerves in the brain are akin to complex wiring that constantly sorts, routes, relays, and processes information. Visualized that way, when these populations process what they see and hear, the “wiring” in their brains can cause communications to go awry:

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Section 4.3Types of Nonverbal Communication

Ever yday Communic at ion Challenges: Underst anding Cer t ain Healt h Bar r iers to Nonverbal Communic at ion (cont inued)

ASD = differently-wired connections (rerouted or crossed wires)

PTSD = traumatized connections (frayed or short-circuited wires)

TBI = disrupted/damaged connections (missing or cut wires)

These three populations share many commonalities regarding utilizing and understand- ing nonverbal communication. According to several studies (Metcalfe, McKenzie, McCarty, & Pollet, 2019; Deutsch & Raffaele, 2019; Neumann, McDonald, West, Keiski, & Wa, 2016; Rosenberg, Dethier, Kessels, Westbrook, & McDonald, 2015; Mancuso et al., 2015; Williams, Milanak, Judah, & Berenbaum, 2018; Ziaei, Ebner, & Burianová, 2017), generally, all three groups

• don’t “read” emotions well in others,

• have trouble recognizing facial expressions,

• often mismatch facial expressions with the context of the conversation,

• need situational and contextual cues to help understand conversations,

• may have difficulty integrating those cues, and

• avoid eye contact.

Emotions can be identified from virtually every form of nonverbal information—but particularly from a person’s eyes. Think of how it would disadvantage you if you tried to understand a conversation without looking at the speaker’s face. You would need to rely on other cues, such as tone of voice, to grasp the conversation’s full meaning.

Not seeing a speaker’s face may pose no problem for some people. But, for others, lack of visual engagement poses a major communication barrier. It eliminates the ability to process emotions via facial expressions. This is an important, prevalent problem among people with ASD, PTSD, and TBI. In fact, it’s a core diagnostic criterion for ASD (Deutsch & Raffaele, 2019). People with ASD do a better job of identifying situational and contextual cues in a conversation than identifying emotions. For example, they might not translate a facial expression as “anxious” unless they see that person looking anxious while trying to dodge a wasp (Metcalfe et al., 2019). A person with ASD may not smile back if the person talking to him is smiling (Samad et al., 2018). Similarly, people with PTSD and TBI tend to “mismatch” context with facial expressions (Williams, Milanak, Judah, & Berenbaum, 2018; “Communication Effects After Brain Injury,” 2012).

We don’t know all the reasons why people with ASD, PTSD, and TBI neglect or avoid looking at the eye region of a speaker’s face. But it contributes to alexithymia—difficulty identify- ing, differentiating, and describing feelings (Poquérusse, Pastore, Dellantonio, & Esposito, 2018).

Sometimes people with ASD, PTSD, or TBI may make odd gestures. In isolation, they may mean nothing. Avoid jumping to conclusions about those nonverbal cues.

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Section 4.4Verbal and Nonverbal Communication in the Digital Age

4.4 Verbal and Nonverbal Communication in the Digital Age

Verbal communication is an essential part of communicating in our increasingly online world. Mediated communication channels, especially ones that allow us to directly interact with oth- ers such as mobile phones and social media, rely primarily on language to achieve shared meaning. This is not to say that we only communicate using verbal messages in online envi- ronments; as we discussed in Chapter 1, we can use emojis, “likes,” photos, punctuation, and capitalized words as nonverbal symbols that provide additional meaning to the words we write. We can also now communicate using videoconferencing technology and online videos on our computers, tablets, and mobile phones—devices that allow both verbal and nonverbal messages to be encoded and decoded. As in our face-to-face interactions with others, both verbal and nonverbal messages are important when we communicate via mediated channels. Though we have not yet perfected a way to touch or smell one another over mediated chan- nels, our current digital nonverbal communication is an improvement over earlier channels, such as pagers, fax machines, e-mail, and listservs, which relied almost exclusively on written

Ever yday Communic at ion Challenges: Underst anding Cer t ain Healt h Bar r iers to Nonverbal Communic at ion (cont inued) Finally, these three groups of people typically have high communication apprehension (covered in Chapter 5). Communication apprehension is seen nonverbally in people’s seat- ing preference. They’ll choose a seat they perceive as suitable for a “non-inf luencer”—such as a seat in the corner or back of a room in which a leader would not sit (McCroskey, 1976).

When talking with a person who has ASD, PTSD, or TBI, think of how you’d want to be treated if you were in their shoes. Recognize that they might not process nonverbal infor- mation the same way you do. When engaging in conversation with them, follow these gen- eral tips:

• Be aware of what you project with your tone of voice and body language.

• Respect people’s personal space; recognize they may need more than you.

• Be patient.

• If the person says something unusual, paraphrase what you think they meant (to confirm you understand what they said).

• If needed, use extra visual cues (contextual and spatial) to ensure clear messaging.

No summary can cover all the contingencies for the best way to exchange information in every setting. Rather, the intent of this information is to increase awareness about nonver- bal communication and give concrete suggestions for navigating through it when it poses a potential barrier, particularly for people who have ASD, PTSD, or TBI. Remember that communication can break down—with anybody—at any step of the process: in encoding/ sending information, in receiving/decoding it, or in providing feedback. Effective commu- nication is everyone’s responsibility!

Section 4.4Verbal and Nonverbal Communication in the Digital Age

text. The following section describes the unique importance of both verbal and nonverbal communication in the digital age.

Verbal Communication in Mediated Contexts As we noted above, we simply could not communicate online without verbal communication, usually in the form of written language. When computer-mediated communication (CMC) began to grow and became a common way for us to communicate, communication researchers became more interested in understanding how communicating via CMC was different from interacting face-to-face. This early research on the differences between CMC and face-to-face interactions found that users rated CMC as less personal, more negative and task-oriented, and more focused on the self because online environments predominantly relied on verbal communication (Walther, 1992). Now, however, there is less of a division between CMC and face-to-face interactions because there are a greater variety of online and mediated methods of communication, and mediated audio and video technologies are increasingly available. In other words, though we once relied on e-mail text that we read on a computer screen, we can now use our smartphones to instantly snap and share photographs online and to video chat with our friends via Skype or FaceTime. The addition of these sounds and visuals means that nonverbal communication is more prevalent online; together, nonverbal and verbal commu- nication provide us with more information and context when communicating via mediated channels.

But unlike in face-to-face interactions, where we derive 60–65% of meaning from nonverbal communication (Burgoon, 1994), verbal communication—be it via text message, social media posts, tweets, blog entries, or e-mail—is still the primary currency in our digital interactions with others. In fact, the sheer number of verbal messages that are exchanged via digital and new media is staggering, and this growth is primarily due to increased mobile phone use. Indeed, mediated verbal messages that once were only able to be sent and received via a com- puter are now also available on mobile phones, including e-mail, social media, online video games, video chatting, and text messaging. According to Domo (n.d.), almost 13 million text messages were sent worldwide per minute in 2018, and almost 47% of the world’s popula- tion, or 3.8 billion people, had access to the Internet. Further, Americans prefer texting rather than calling on their smartphones (Jaye, 2018), and texting is the most common method teens report using to get in contact with a close friend (Lenhart, 2015).

Using mediated channels to communicate verbal messages, be it via texts, social media posts, or e-mail, can provide you with time to construct your message and a permanent record of what you said, and this can be helpful when you are engaging in formal interactions or with business and professional associates. The speed, convenience, and permanence of texting likely contribute to its frequent and preferred usage. Compared to other ways that we can interpersonally communicate, texting does not offer as many message cues (Burgoon et al., 2002), which can provide additional context, such as the emotions that an individual is feel- ing, or even contradict the verbal message entirely, such as when one’s tone of voice indicates that the person is being sarcastic about what she is saying. However, advances in texting now allow us to insert emojis, GIFs, photos, sound files, and videos, providing an array of nonverbal communication messages that were not available even a few years ago. In fact, social media messages that include an emoji were rated as easier to understand and more believable than messages with no emoji or an emoji inappropriate for the message’s context (Daniel & Camp, in press). Further, emoji use can assist in distinguishing between members of individualistic and collectivistic cultures: by examining emoticon (or emoji) usage patterns on Twitter in

Section 4.4Verbal and Nonverbal Communication in the Digital Age

relation to Hofstede’s national culture scores and national indicators across 78 countries, Park, Baek, and Cha (2014) found that people within individualistic cultures favor horizontal and mouth-oriented emoticons like :), which are more expressive and reflective of these cul- tures’ encouragement of emotional expression, while those within collectivistic cultures favor vertical and eye-oriented emoticons like ^_^ that suppress communication of feelings (Park et al., 2014). Thus, we are now able to provide a wider range of nonverbal communication information via emoji usage in texts and social media posts, which not only contributes to greater understanding, but also indicates influences from our cultural membership.

Nonverbal Communication in Mediated Contexts Compared to verbal communication, researchers and communicators initially considered digital or mediated contexts less useful channels for nonverbal communication. Consider CMC in the online classroom: Online you do not have the benefit of facial expressions, vocal- ics, and other nonverbal cues that you would have in a physical classroom, but you have more opportunities to contribute than you would have in a physical classroom where time con- straints and group size may limit the number of people who can participate in a discussion. As another benefit of nonverbal communication online, it is also possible to transmit auditory nonverbal signals in digital contexts. In addition to still images, devices with built-in cameras allow users to send and receive videos. On YouTube, almost 4.5 million videos are viewed per minute (Domo, n.d.). Videoconferencing applications such as Skype, Zoom, and FaceTime also allow individuals to see, hear, and speak to one another in real time, over great distances, and with relative ease. We can “like,” “love,” or “share” posts on social media, easily stream high quality video on our mobile devices, and we can cycle through multiple profile photos to determine how to visually represent who we are to others (Hum et al., 2011).

As we have mentioned before, social media now makes it easier for us to send and receive nonverbal messages through visual channels. Some social media platforms such as Instagram and Snapchat primarily rely on communication through visual images. Such platforms have exploded in popularity with social media users in the last few years. According to the Pew Research and Internet Center, 73% of Americans visit YouTube (which is more frequently used than Facebook), 35% use Instagram, and 27% use Snapchat (Smith & Anderson, 2018). Research finds that Instagram users who frequently post photos of themselves may do so to display a strategic individual “brand” that communicates their carefully curated visual identity to others (O’Donnell, 2018). But these visually-based social media posts can impact relationships as well: conflict related to romantic partners’ Instagram selfie-posting behav- iors was positively related to negative relationship outcomes (Ridgway & Clayton, 2016), sug- gesting that visually presenting oneself on this social media site can take a toll on romantic relationships.

Options for communicating via mediated channels are continuously emerging, and as they do you should respond by adapting your verbal and nonverbal messages to communicate competently and achieve shared meaning in these digital and online contexts. Simply hav- ing these additional mediated channels to communicate provides you with more options for interacting with others. Shifting seamlessly back and forth between face-to-face and medi- ated communication with a relational partner can increase how satisfied we are with that relationship (Caughlin & Sharabi, 2013) and can provide us with adaptability and flexibility in our interpersonal communication with others. (See the IPC in the Digital Age feature to learn more about social norms in online communication.)

Section 4.5Developing Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Competence

4.5 Developing Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Competence

You have already begun the work of becoming a more competent communicator by increas- ing your knowledge of language and how language works. Our ability to communicate both verbally and through mediated channels has a significant impact on our interpersonal communication.

Nonverbal communication is also an important aspect of interpersonal communication. Peo- ple vary in their ability to send and receive nonverbal messages, and difficulty understanding or interpreting nonverbal messages can be a serious challenge in interpersonal communica- tion, particularly for individuals with health conditions such as ASD, PTSD, or TBI, and can compromise our communication competence. Success in your personal life, in school, and in the workplace thus depends on your communication skills now more than ever. To be a competent communicator, it is important to analyze your own communications, observe how others communicate, and learn how to practice and adjust your skills in different contexts. Language skills include the ability to speak and write well and an understanding of grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, and language usage. However, research shows that another

IPC in the Digital Age: Nonverbal Social Norms Online There are unspoken rules regarding nonverbal communication in face-to-face interactions, but do we also follow these rules in online interactions? Nick Yee, a research scientist at the Palo Alto Research Center studying interactions in virtual environments, teamed up with colleagues to examine how those who play massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPGs) such as Second Life observe nonverbal communication rules when interacting in these games. In these games, MMORPG players use three-dimensional ava- tars, or digital representations of themselves. The researchers predicted that players’ ava- tars would follow similar social norms, as if these players were communicating face-to-face (Yee, Bailenson, Urbanek, Chang, & Merget, 2007).

By observing avatar interactions, Yee and his colleagues (2007) found that MMORPG play- ers did indeed follow a number of nonverbal rules. For example, as in face-to-face interac- tions, the avatars stood closer to opposite-sex avatars compared to those of the same sex. In addition, when one avatar got too physically close, the other avatar compensated for this rule violation by looking away or moving back. Avatars who were talking to one another also stood close to and engaged in eye contact with one another. In other words, even though players in these games were not physically proximal to each other, they still feel the need to nonverbally communicate as they would in a face-to-face interaction. Yee and his colleagues (2007) concluded from their findings that the rules that govern our real, physi- cal selves also direct our virtual, created selves when we interact online.

Critical Thinking Questions

1. Apply these findings to your own online interactions. If you play MMORPGs, do you notice that these nonverbal communication rules are followed?

2. When communication rules are broken, does it make you feel uncomfortable?

3. How do you think these rules change when we are videoconferencing with others and not communicating through avatars?

Section 4.5Developing Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Competence

crucial skill is the ability to adjust language, make appropriate language choices, and accu- rately interpret messages (Halliday & Webster, 2004). These are specific examples of the skill, knowledge, and motivation factors in facilitating communication competence, so understand- ing and implementing these skills can improve your communication competence.

Similarly, if you pay more attention to your own nonverbal behaviors and those of the people with whom you interact, you can make appropriate nonverbal communication choices too. Doing so will increase your knowledge, which then will help you to be a more motivated and skilled nonverbal communicator. The following strategies emphasize actions you can take to continue to improve both your verbal and nonverbal communication competency in a variety of contexts.

Analyze Your Own Communication When you communicate, be conscious of the language you use and the nonverbal signals you send. Consider

• the purpose (What is my goal in this interaction?), • receiver (Who am I communicating with in this interaction?), and • topic (What are we communicating about in this interaction?) of the communication.

Taking all three of these factors into account, as well as any additional important influences such as intercultural communication differences or potential communication barriers such as time restrictions, will allow you to be mindful about the interaction. This, in turn, will help you tailor and craft how you will communicate either ahead of time or in the moment as the interaction unfolds. Try this exercise:

Make a video of yourself talking with a friend or family member. Then review the video and critically analyze the language and types of nonverbal signals you use during the interaction. Is your word choice and vocabulary suitable for the situation, for the context, and for the topic of the interaction? Is your language biased or neutral? Then listen to your voice and consider the differ- ent vocalic elements. Also observe your body language and determine how you use your eyes, your face, your body, touch, and personal space when you interact with the other communicator. Using Table 4.5, assess each of the issues concerning your vocal and visual behavior and ask the other communi- cator to perform the same assessment.

Table 4.5: Assessment of vocal, visual, and touch behavior Behavior Assessment

Vocal

Timbre What adjective could be used to describe your voice? For example, is it harsh, command- ing, shrill, or melodious? Is it pleasant or unpleasant?

Pitch Does your voice have sufficient vocal variety? Do you vary the pitch of your voice to keep listeners interested in what you have to say?

Tempo Do you talk at a rate of speech that allows people to follow you easily, or do you speak too quickly or too slowly at times?

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Section 4.5Developing Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Competence

Table 4.5: Assessment of vocal, visual, and touch behavior (continued) Behavior Assessment

Vocal

General Do any nonverbal vocalizations or dysfluencies interfere with your vocal effectiveness and appropriateness? In what areas of your vocal communication do you think that you excel? What areas could use some improvement? Do any of your vocal characteristics distract from or conflict with your verbal message?

Visual

Eye behavior Do you generally make eye contact with people during a conversation? Have you been told that you make extended eye contact that could be construed as staring? Do you look at people appropriately or do you have any tendencies to violate norms about where you look?

Facial expression

Do you make facial expressions such as frowning or scowling of which you are not conscious? Are your facial expressions natural? Do you smile appropriately or inappropriately? Do your facial expressions communicate that you are friendly or aloof ?

Body posture and movement

Do you nod your head appropriately to provide feedback to others when they communicate? Do you lean forward when you interact with others to show interest in them? Is your body posture open and friendly, or do you tend to look uncomfortable in the presence of others?

Hand and arm gestures

Do you gesture naturally when you talk to reinforce your verbal messages? Do you gesture so much that you appear flighty or nervous? Do you hide your hands, keep them at your sides, or fold your arms, which can make you appear unapproachable?

Personal space Do you stand too close or too far away from others? Do you move closer and farther away from others along with the natural flow of conversation? Do you notice others moving away from you when you are speaking with them?

General In what areas of your visual communication do you think that you excel? What areas could use some improvement? Do any of your visual characteristics distract from or conflict with your verbal message?

Touch

Frequency How much do you touch others? Are you aware of how much others seem to want to be touched during a conversation?

Boundaries Does touching come naturally to you or do prefer not to touch or be touched? Do you touch others in a way that is appropriate for your relationship or the situation?

Reaction How do others react when you touch them? How do you respond when you are touched? Do they (or you) stiffen up or seem comfortable?

General In what areas of your haptic communication do you think that you excel? What areas could use some improvement? Do any of your touch messages distract from or conflict with your verbal message?

Section 4.5Developing Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Competence

The more you know about your communication choices, the better able you are to evaluate the appropriateness of your choices and to adjust the communication as needed. This allows you to be more appropriate in your communication, contributing to your communication competence. Strive to use language that is most suitable to the situation, language that is not biased or unethical, and to be cognizant of how your body language, vocalics, touch, and treat- ment of personal space affect your interactions with others.

Observe How Others Communicate Develop a habit of observing others in interpersonal communication settings, especially dur- ing your own interactions with others. Just as you monitor your own language choices and nonverbal signals, observe how others behave in different interactions. Pay attention to their language, vocal, spatial, and touch techniques. Consider how they use body language to build rapport.

Sometimes it is a good idea to match the verbal and nonverbal communication styles of the other communicator. Consider again communication accommodation theory (CAT), which was introduced in Chapter 3. How does the communication either converge or diverge during an interaction? What happens if the communicator overaccommodates? Table 4.6 provides some examples of elements that you can monitor during an interaction.

Table 4.6: Verbal and nonverbal elements to monitor during an interaction

Communication types What to look for

Verbal Spoken or written language

Is the language used formal or informal? Is the language used appropriate for the situation or context in which the interaction is taking place? Does the communicator use jargon or language that is not easily understood? Does the verbal message correspond with or contra- dict the nonverbal messages that are being used?

Nonverbal

Touch What type of touch is occurring (e.g., kiss, handshake, hug)?

Gestures What emotions or moods are being expressed via body movement or the facial expressions?

Space How close or distant are the communicators from one another? Do both seem comfortable with the amount of space that is between them?

Practice and Adjust Your Communication Skills Develop strategies for improving your verbal and nonverbal communication skills, and be sure to practice. For example, reading as much as possible can be an excellent way to build your vocabulary. A similar strategy can also help you identify elements of nonverbal commu- nication that you can improve and practice. Consider again Table 4.5 and your assessment of your nonverbal communication. See Table 4.7 to learn more about other strategies that can

Summary and Resources

help you practice and improve such communication skills. But be aware that you may need to adjust your language and nonverbal communication for different interactions.

Table 4.7: Strategies for practicing and improving your communication skills

Strategies Goals

Verbal communication

Read frequently, and read a variety of sources, such as newspapers, books, and even social media posts.

To find and learn new terms and under- stand and use them in new contexts

Have a large and varied vocabulary to give you more word choices.

To help you encode and decode language accurately and appropriately

Offer feedback to other communicators about how you interpret their messages by rephrasing: “Let me make sure I understand” or “Are you saying that . . .,” for instance.

To help you and the other communicator negotiate and agree upon meaning in an interaction

Nonverbal communication

Assess your nonverbal communication behaviors.

To learn how you uniquely nonverbally communicate and identify possible areas of improvement

Use feedback from others to adjust your nonverbal communication.

To better reflect the social norms of an interaction or the personal preferences of another communicator

Summary and Resources Communication serves a wide range of needs in our lives, and language is the primary code we use to communicate with others. Language can be formal or informal. As children, you first learned the instrumental function of language as a means of expressing your needs, wants, and desires. As you became older and began to master your native language, your words began to help you form and maintain relationships.

We sometimes tend to take our use of language for granted, but good verbal skills are essen- tial for personal and professional success, and they are critical to forming and maintaining relationships. Words are powerful tools; they create your reality, reflect your attitudes, and have multiple intentions and interpretations. Words do not have inherent meanings; rather, meanings are in people and are sustained and transmitted by culture. Meanings are always personal and are the result of many factors, including your personality, experiences, and the context in which the communication occurs. This interactional function of language helps you define yourself and your membership in groups and aids you in persuading others. Language also allows you to create worlds that do not exist in the physical realm but only in your imagi- nation, to participate with others in social customs, and to help establish your identify and distinguish yourself from those around you.

Language can be a primary communication vehicle during interactions, but nonverbal cues are also an important aspect of interpersonal communication. Nonverbal communication is the transmission of messages without the use of words, and this type of communication includes a wide range of vocal and visual signs and behaviors. Nonverbal messages have

Summary and Resources

different characteristics, but they share common purposes; they primarily communicate your emotions and attitudes and contribute information to your conversations about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. They can also be a way to provide feedback to others, to show interest in them, and to help you regulate and maintain your conversations with other people. Some of the messages you send nonverbally are conscious and intentional, but many are innate aspects of your voice and body that you cannot easily change. Still, other nonverbal communication is unconscious and the result of habits you have developed.

Nonverbal messages serve a variety of functions in interpersonal communication either in combination with or instead of verbal messages. You send messages to people by means of both nonverbal vocalizations and visible signs. Primary vocal characteristics, such as the qual- ity and tone of a voice, are unique to each individual. But other vocal features, such as sounds, noises, behaviors, and pauses and silences, also contribute to your interpersonal communi- cation. Similarly, some body language is personal and has meaning only to the communica- tors, but other visual signs convey a standard, shared meaning in a particular culture. When some visual signals, such as hand gestures, are used outside a specific culture, they may have entirely different interpretations and thus be misinterpreted.

You can improve both your verbal and nonverbal communication skills by analyzing your communication, observing others as they communicate, and practicing and adjusting your communication. Some ways to improve your verbal communication competency are to improve your vocabulary, to increase your awareness of the language you use, to make appro- priate language choices, and to adapt your language to communication situations. It is impor- tant to provide feedback and check for understanding to make sure that both the sender and the receiver of the communication share the meaning of words, and you must modify your language to ensure that your use of language is appropriate. The same is true for nonverbal communication. It is important to be more aware of what signals you send and how such sig- nals are interpreted because you are then better able to adjust your behaviors for different interactions. Over time, this higher level of attention to both your verbal and nonverbal com- munication will help you increase your overall interpersonal communication competency.

Critical Thinking and Discussion Questions 1. Think again about the discussion from Chapter 3. What do you think is the relation-

ship between language and culture? How do they interact with one another, specifi- cally in your dominant culture?

2. In what ways are denotative or connotative meanings uniquely important in achiev- ing shared understanding in an interaction?

3. Recall a conversation where someone used disconfirming or biased communication toward you. How did you respond and how did this response alter the tone of the interaction?

4. Think about a recent interaction you had. Did you derive more meaning from non- verbal or verbal communication in that encounter? Why was that type of message more important?

5. What form of nonverbal communication do you tend to focus on when communicat- ing with others? Why do you think that you emphasize this particular type of non- verbal communication?

6. Consider the different forms and functions of verbal and nonverbal communication discussed in this chapter. Are there other functions of both verbal and nonverbal communication?

Summary and Resources

Key Terms abstract symbol A word or gesture that relates to an idea or concept that exists only in the mind and does not represent a tangible object.

affect blends The mixture of emotions communicators can experience and express during an interaction.

biased language Language that presents an attitude that is not objective or balanced, is prejudiced, or uses words that inten- tionally or unintentionally offend people or express an unfair attitude concerning a person’s race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, age, disability, or illness.

confirming message A message that provides a basic acknowledgement that the other person in an interaction is pres- ent, accepted, and that the relationship is important.

connotation A personal association you have with a certain word or the emotional meaning or impact of the word to you.

de facto language A language that may not be recognized legally but is informally recognized as the most known or used.

denotation The dictionary definition or descriptive meaning of a word.

dialect A variety of a language that is spoken in a geographic or social group of people that differs in grammar, pronuncia- tion, and structure from others’ use of the same language.

disconfirming message A message that is the opposite of a confirming message because the other person in an interaction is disregarded or even ignored.

emblems Gestures that are clear and unambiguous and have a verbal equivalent in a culture.

eye gaze The act of fixing one’s eyes on someone.

formal language Speech or written expression that is more careful and more mannered than everyday speech and is used in the academic world and most profes- sional workplaces.

gestural communication Communication that involves using and moving one’s body.

haptics The study of touch as a means of communication.

inflection Changes in vocal pitch.

informal language Speech or written expression that is common or nonstandard and is usually not appropriate in aca- demic and professional speech or written communication.

intimate zone Distance of 6 to 18 inches between communicators, which is reserved for close, intimate relationships.

kines The smallest identifiable body movements.

kinesics The study of visible means of communication via body language such as eye behavior, facial expression, body pos- ture and movement, and hand gestures.

nonverbal leakage Spontaneous expres- sions that involuntarily occur during an interaction as a direct result of an emotional experience or feeling.

nonverbal vocalization A type of paralan- guage that consists of sounds, noises, and behaviors that are often accompanied by body language.

paralanguage Voice characteristics and nonverbal vocalizations that communicate feelings, intentions, and meanings.

Summary and Resources

personal zone Distance of 18 inches to 4 feet between communicators, which is appropriate for everyday encounters.

phonology The sound of a particular lan- guage or dialect.

pitch The placement of one’s voice on the musical scale; the basis on which singing voices are classified as soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, or bass.

proxemics The study of physical space as a means of communication.

public zone Distance of 12 to 25 feet between communicators, which is main- tained for public speaking.

racist language Language that demeans or insults people on the basis of their race or ethnicity.

Sapir–Whorf hypothesis The theory that language is not just a way of voicing ideas, but it actually shapes and determines those ideas.

sexist language Language that excludes individuals on the basis of gender or shows bias toward or against people due to their gender.

social zone Distance of 4 to 12 feet between communicators, which is suitable for business or other formal interactions.

tempo The rate of one’s speech; how slowly or quickly one talks.

timbre The overall quality and tone, or “color,” of one’s voice; the primary vocal quality that makes a voice either pleasant or disturbing to hear.

vernacular A variety of language used by speakers in informal situations.