Community and Responsibility - discussion post - 500 words

2 The Writing Process

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“No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in.”

—President Barack Obama (2009, para. 28)

Learning Outcomes

After reading this chapter, you should be able to:

ƒƒ Complete planning and prewriting activities.

ƒƒ Draft an essay.

ƒƒ Utilize feedback through collaborative processes.

ƒƒ Revise a written document.

ƒƒ Edit your essay.

Writing is a multistage process. Just as athletes cannot expect to win if they run onto the field without a game plan, writers cannot expect success if they write without planning. Successful writers compose a document that an audience can read, understand, and use. Much of their work happens before the document is ever drafted!

As you learned in Chapter 1, academic writing is a particular type of written communication. The academic writer must consider audience, document type, tone, style, grammar, mechan- ics, organization, formatting, and other factors. Once writers know what needs to be written, they must decide how to write it. In this chapter you will learn how get started and move through the writing process.

This chapter is organized according to several stages of the writing process, but each stage can occur at any time—the writing process does not follow a straight path (see A Closer Look: An Outline of the Writing Process). Stages sometimes overlap or occur out of order; they might even be repeated multiple times. The goal of this chapter is to give you an overview of the writing process so you are prepared for the work that lies ahead.

A Closer Look: An Outline of the Writing Process

• Planning and readiness are important components for any successful task. Successful writers must prepare for the work ahead of them. Internal acts of mulling and criti- cally thinking are essential parts of the planning process, which also features inten- tional actions and behaviors.

• Prewriting is a substantial part of the academic writing process. Before composing an academic paper, writers must brainstorm, conduct research, build an argument, and organize the structure of their work. Annotated bibliographies, mind maps, out- lines, and research notebooks are essential tools for this process. A well-researched and well-planned essay will be more effective and easier to write. Investing time and effort at the outset of the process will save you time and frustration down the road.

• Drafting occurs after you have engaged in prewriting and feel ready to compose the first draft. If prewriting has been successful, drafting can be fairly easy. Getting started is often the hardest part, but prewriting tools can help. Outlines are par- ticularly useful because they serve as a road map for the paper. It is also helpful to remember that early drafts do not need to be written in order—body paragraphs can be written first, while the introduction can be written last. Paragraphs can be ordered and assembled after they are written.

• Since rough drafts are always “rough,” revision will be required. Revising is when a writer uses feedback and fresh perspective to make changes and improve a draft. Sometimes students finish a first draft and then submit it without revising it. Simi- larly, some employees send out memos and proposals quickly, without taking the time to make revisions. This usually results in a document that is unclear, unrefined, confusing, or ineffective. During revision, a writer assesses the document for “big pic- ture” issues like organization, flow, clarity, logic, and content. The author is the only one who can undertake revision because it is part of the process of creating the work. Revision can, however, be a collaborative process. A thoughtful writer will often con- sult with a peer group, writing workshop cohort, workplace mentor, colleague, or writing tutor during the revision process.

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Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

The writing process is not a simple, clean, or linear process; it must be tailored to each writer, each writing project, and each project’s schedule. Sometimes a draft will need substantial revisions that require a writer to go back to the prewriting process. Sometimes editing will highlight a need to do further research. Occasionally, a paper may need to be gutted and started completely over. Although these actions may feel like steps backward, they actually represent valuable progress forward.

2.1 Planning and Prewriting Strategies The recursive writing process is riddled with choices, input, and feedback. Therefore, it requires a growth mindset—the belief that your abilities can be developed through effort, dedication, and focus. By adopting a growth mindset, writers can regard the writing process, including its setbacks, as a chance to learn, grow, and improve their writing skills. In contrast, writers who adopt a fixed mindset believe that their choices and qualities cannot be changed. They may think that they are naturally good (or bad) at writing and that nothing will ever change their ability in this area.

Throughout the learning and writing process, students need to nurture the growth mindset (see A Closer Look: Carol Dweck on Growth Mindset). It is important to realize that anyone can learn the skill of writing, and that one’s ability to write can develop over time. Every writer needs to adopt a growth mindset and make the effort to learn and improve over time.

Once a writer has prepared their mind for a written assignment or task, prewriting can begin. The prewriting stage is composed of many activities that may be undertaken all at once or spread out over time. The prewriting process can vary from writer to writer, but it typically begins with brainstorming and is followed by research and outlining. The process may move forward and backward, and activities may overlap with one another. It is important to be flex- ible during the prewriting process, as it can be unpredictable.

A Closer Look: An Outline of the Writing Process (continued)

• Early drafts must also be edited before they can be considered final. Editing involves correcting mistakes, oversights, or errors and can be accomplished over multiple stages. All documents should be edited before they are submitted or distributed. Unlike revision, editing need not be done by the writer themselves—the process can be undertaken by any skilled person. Editing consists of proofreading, checking grammar and spelling, and making corrections to make sure the composition adheres to a style guide. Professional writers often employ professional editors to edit their work. Students, however, will need to edit their own work. Instructors expect every assignment to be revised and edited before being submitted.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

Brainstorming Brainstorming is the act of generating ideas and considering ways to approach a topic. There are dozens of techniques for brainstorming, and some people have methods they prefer over

A Closer Look: Carol Dweck on Growth Mindset

Stanford University researcher Carol Dweck is known for her work on mindset. In an article in Scientific American, she described her findings on mindset, motivation, and why people succeed and foster success.

Animal experiments by psychologists Martin Seligman, Steven Maier and Richard Solomon, all then at the University of Pennsylvania, had shown that after repeated failures, most animals conclude that a situation is hopeless and beyond their control. After such an experience, the researchers found, an animal often remains passive even when it can effect change—a state they called learned helplessness.

People can learn to be helpless, too, but not everyone reacts to setbacks this way. I wondered: Why do some students give up when they encounter difficulty, whereas others who are no more skilled continue to strive and learn? One answer, I soon discovered, lay in people’s beliefs about why they had failed.

In particular, attributing poor performance to a lack of ability depresses motivation more than does the belief that lack of effort is to blame. In 1972, when I taught a group of elementary and middle school children who displayed helpless behavior in school that a lack of effort (rather than lack of ability) led to their mistakes on math problems, the kids learned to keep trying when the problems got tough. They also solved many more problems even in the face of difficulty. Another group of helpless children who were simply rewarded for their success on easier problems did not improve their ability to solve hard math problems. These experiments were an early indication that a focus on effort can help resolve helplessness and engender success.

Subsequent studies revealed that the most persistent students do not ruminate about their own failure much at all but instead think of mistakes as problems to be solved. At the University of Illinois in the 1970s I, along with my then graduate student Carol Diener, asked 60 fifth graders to think out loud while they solved very difficult pattern-recognition problems. Some students reacted defensively to mistakes, denigrating their skills . . . and their problem-solving strategies deteriorated.

Others, meanwhile, focused on fixing errors and honing their skills. One advised himself: “I should slow down and try to figure this out.” Two school- children were particularly inspiring. One, in the wake of difficulty, pulled up his chair, rubbed his hands together, smacked his lips and said, “I love a challenge!” The other, also confronting the hard problems, looked up at the experimenter and approvingly declared, “I was hoping this would be informative!” Predictably, the students with this attitude outperformed their cohorts in these studies. (Dweck, 2015, paras. 5–9. Reproduced with permission. Copyright © Scientific American, a division of Nature America, Inc. All rights reserved.)

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

others. New writers should experiment with different forms of brainstorming until they find a method that works best for them. If you have trouble getting started with a written assign- ment, try a new brainstorming technique and see what happens!

The List Maker Lola is a list maker. She knows she would like to write about skateboarding culture, but she does not know where to begin. She grabs a pen and a piece of paper and sits quietly, focusing her mind on skateboarding. At this point, she does not worry about spelling, organization, or meaning. She simply sits and makes a list of her ideas (see Figure 2.1).

Lola’s brainstorming session lasts about 5 minutes. When she is finished, her list is filled with topics from helmets to music to legal issues to fashion. With all of these ideas together in one place, Lola can cross out any topics that seem uninteresting, inappropriate, or otherwise unsuitable for the assignment. Then she can consider the rest of her options and arrive at a narrowed topic for her paper.

Figure 2.1: Brainstorming by list making

A good way to brainstorm topic ideas is to make a handwritten list. You can circle, cross out, and highlight ideas without worrying about organization or grammar.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

The Freewriter Charlie is a writer who likes to focus on one task at a time. With 10 minutes of free time before work, Charlie freewrites on an upcoming assignment topic. Charlie sits at a laptop and writes about the topic for 10 minutes straight without worrying about spelling, grammar, or structure.

With a clear mind after work, Charlie looks at the freewrite and finds some ideas that are interesting and appropriate for the assignment. Those ideas give Charlie a starting point for the assignment, and the entire process did not take more than 15 minutes.

The Talker André is a talker. His mind works best when he is thinking out loud. His instructor has pro- vided the class with a list of approved topics, but André is not sure which one to choose. Arriving home to an empty apartment after working a late shift, he grabs his smartphone and uses the talk-to-text feature to record his ideas. When he wakes up the next day, he takes a look at the transcribed note on his phone and makes a decision about what to write on (see Figure 2.2).

André’s talk-to-text brainstorming session only took a couple of minutes. He was able to freely talk aloud while his phone documented his thoughts so he could review them later. Even though André did not have anyone to talk to, technology enabled him to talk through his options and decide on the best topic for his work.

Figure 2.2: Brainstorming by thinking out loud

Another effective way to brainstorm topic ideas is to use a dictation app on your smartphone to take notes. You can talk freely about your thoughts while the phone documents your ideas.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

The Mind Mapper Lashonda likes charts and visual organizational tools, especially for brainstorming. Therefore, she starts every writing assignment by using a mind-mapping program. She begins with the assignment’s broad topic and then explores subtopics, ideas, examples, and facts that relate to it. When she is out of ideas, she stops and reviews her mind map (see Figure 2.3).

Sometimes Lashonda’s brainstorming sessions are quick. Other times they occupy a bit more of her time. She keeps a copy of the mind map to help her develop her position and refute counterarguments later in the writing process.

Figure 2.3: Brainstorming with a mind map

Creating a mind map is a good way for visual learners to brainstorm topic and subtopic ideas. Start with a broad topic, then narrow it down to subtopics and examples.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

The Googling Wikier Winnie needs to write about a historical era but doesn’t know where to begin. She starts with a Google search of “historical eras” and spends an hour clicking around and reviewing blogs, social media groups, web publications, and YouTube videos. She feels most drawn to the Roaring Twenties, so she checks Wikipedia. While she knows that Wikipedia is not a cred- ible source for information, it does contain some good common knowledge that she can use to start thinking about her topic. References cited in Wikipedia articles also give her a place to begin her research.

Winnie’s brainstorming session took a bit of time, but it was entertaining and enjoyable. She gained good background knowledge on the subject and identified some important key- words while she brainstormed. Most importantly, her interest is piqued, and she is excited to learn more.

Beginning to Research Researching is not a neat or easy process. Nonfiction writer Elena Passarello (2016) has related the research process to an experience she and her boyfriend had at Yellowstone National Park. As they were driving through the park, they saw a little sign with an arrow pointing to a trail. It read “Point Sublime, 3 mi.” They pulled over and decided to hike out to see it.

As they started walking, they laughed about not knowing how far 3 miles would be, since neither of them had ever hiked before. Soon they came to a clearing and saw an amazing canyon view with a waterfall. They stood in awe as a hawk flew by carrying its prey. “Wow,” they thought, “this really is sublime! How amazing!” Then, however, it dawned on them that they had only been walking for about 10 minutes, so clearly they had not yet reached Point Sublime. They kept walking. As the trail wound around a bend, they came to a clearing in the woods that had views over the moun- tains. There were chipmunks frolicking right in front of them, and the breeze blew crisp and cool on their faces. It was the most amazing moment they had ever experienced in nature—it was, indeed, quite sublime! However, they realized they could not have actually walked a full 3 miles yet. So they kept going. Around every turn they saw remarkable sights and heard amazing sounds.

Finally, they reached their destination. At the end of a dirt path, they found a fallen fence post and an old, beat-up sign with bullet holes that read “Point Sublime.” Ironically, there was nothing sublime about the actual Point Sublime.

Passarello’s experience is a lot like the writing process. Points along the way

AmyLaughinghouse/iStock/Thinkstock Researching may feel daunting at first, but as you begin to read articles and discover new perspectives, the process will become clearer. Be flexible and allow your research to take you in unexpected directions.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

were amazing, and the novice hikers had an amazing experience. Their predecided destina- tion, however, was a disappointment. Similarly, writers often undertake research with a spe- cific goal or destination in mind. That destination, however, may prove elusive or may even turn out to be disappointing. A writer must therefore decide when to stop and explore along the way.

The Research Question Whether you have decided on your own topic or have been assigned one by your instructor, your work will need a guiding research question, an answerable inquiry into the issues and concerns surrounding a topic. The research question will harness your curiosity and pro- vide you with a trail through the “wilderness” of research. Develop your research question by thinking about any controversy that surrounds the topic:

• What makes people angry? • What concerns people? • What confuses people? • What is being debated? • What is the problem? • What needs to be resolved?

After mulling these issues, develop a single, challenging question. The question should be focused but not be phrased as a yes/no question. Rather, aim to begin the question using the words how, what, or why, rather than is, can, or did. Your research question will be your road map through the research process and will be used to anchor the paper’s position, so it should be open to a range of possible answers. If it is too limited, you may never arrive at the destination.

An example of an overly limited, yes/no question might be:

• Is this Point Sublime?

An example of a more open, challenging question might be:

• What happens on the way to Point Sublime?

Let’s examine the development of three different research questions. Suppose that after brainstorming on the topic of graffiti, Jackson identified four major issues. He discovered that graffiti artists are often marginalized by the art community and rarely win prizes or awards for their work. He lives in an urban area and often sees graffiti as vandalism. Jackson often volunteers to paint over graffiti at his nephew’s Boys and Girls Club and has seen the damage some graffiti artists inflict on private property. However, he has also seen graffiti in other parts of the city that is truly meaningful and artistic. He mulls the issues and arrives at a research question that will help him meaningfully research the topic and develop an argument that is thoughtful, appropriate for the rhetorical situation, and based on research.

Topic Issues Research question

Graffiti • Artists are marginalized • Vandalism • Property owners’ rights • Temporary art

How does the mainstream art commu- nity regard graffiti art?

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

Lydia has been assigned a research paper on the subject of student loan debt. She is fortunate; her employer pays for her college tuition and books, so she has never had to consider borrow- ing money to pay for school. She asked her mother, a teacher’s aide, if she acquired student loan debt to earn her associate’s degree 20 years ago. Her mother explained that community college tuition was very affordable 20 years ago, so she paid cash for her classes. However, one of the third-grade teachers at her school is struggling with student loan debt that is more than double her annual salary. They have frequently talked about the stress and fear the debt adds to her life. Lydia invites her mother and the third-grade teacher to coffee to talk about her experience. After a great conversation and a bit of subsequent Googling, Lydia identifies her topic’s key issues: treating education as an investment in one’s future while simultane- ously burdening that future with debt that is hard to escape.

Topic Issues Research question

Student loan debt • Investment • Higher wages • Rising debt • High interest, few relief programs

What is the impact of student loan debt on a college graduate’s economic future?

Toni is a divorced mother of three, while her best friend, Keely, is 40 years old, childless, and unmarried. When Toni’s social psychology professor tells Toni’s class to select an “ism” to write about, she immediately thinks about a running joke she and Keely have. Whenever they talk about splurging on a new purse or day at the beauty salon, Toni laughs and says, “That’s what the alimony is for!” Keely jokes back, “Damn this single life!” Anytime they go to the movies, Toni laughs and says, “Hooray for the family four pack pricing! Half off!” Keely will joke back, “Damn this single life! Always full price!” In all seriousness, however, Toni sees how Keely has a different financial burden than someone who is married, has children, or even widowed or divorced. She has also witnessed how Keely struggled after getting into a car acci- dent; Keely had no one at home to help her and was forced to return to work before she had completely healed. Her friends and coworkers all chipped in to help her pay for a home health aide to assist her for a month; she could not afford the cost of the aide on her own. Toni won- dered if “singlism” was impacting Keely’s life in real, meaningful ways. She brainstormed a list of everything she had experienced with Keely and identified a few major issues to explore through research.

Topic Issues Research question

Singlism • Childless, never-married people subsidizing the economy via taxes (no special deductions)

• Consumer pricing favors families • Sharing economy (households

with multiple adults bring in more income, can split costs)

• Increased costs in retirement, health care

What is the relationship between mar- ital status and economic prosperity in the United States?

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

A Digital Library With a research question in hand, the search for information can begin. Libraries and literary collections have kept staff busy digitizing their materials, securing copyright licensing, and building web-based portals to provide researchers across the globe access to their collec- tions day and night. These digital libraries offer the same materials to someone at a home computer as anyone physically at the library, so long as they are a registered user. As a college student, you are a member of your university’s library and thus have full access to its digital library. A digital library can contain just as many books, videos, journals, periodicals, and tutorials as a large physical building—in some cases, even more! In addition, librarians and tutors staff some digital libraries 24 hours a day.

A digital library is not a search engine. It is an access portal that provides digital versions of materials the library has paid for.

Most university libraries also offer research guides, which are tools for locating information on a particular subject. Librarians will pull the best resources from the library and Internet and bundle them into a single guide. In a digital library, a research guide usually consists of a web page with links to specific journals, e-books, Internet resources, and affiliated organiza- tions or associations online. The research guide may also contain contact information for a librarian who is particularly knowledgeable about a specific subject. Most student research- ers will begin their quest with a research guide.

Developing a Working Thesis Statement Once you have familiarized yourself with the topic and begun to research, you will start to form a position. Your paper’s position will be clearly stated in a clear, concise thesis state- ment. Your working thesis statement should be an arguable, single-sentence response to the research question. A complex thesis statement will sometimes require two sentences but should not be any longer than that.

Recall that Jackson is writing an academic paper on the subject of graffiti. He developed his research question based on the issues he identified. Using the digital library, he found several resources and uncovered multiple articles that explore the concept of graffiti as high art. He is fairly certain that his paper will argue that graffiti is gaining respect and prestige in the art world. He will use his findings and his research question to construct a working thesis statement:

Research Question: How does the mainstream art community regard graffiti art?

Thesis Statement (Answer): Despite the criminality of vandalism and the public nuisance it can create, America’s mainstream art community has embraced graffiti as a legitimate form of art.

Now Jackson has a clear position that will be the focus of his work. He has developed a working thesis statement that will guide his writing going forward. He may adjust or change the thesis statement as he researches, develops his argument, drafts his paper, and revises his work.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

Like Jackson, your working thesis statement can be revised as often as necessary. As you con- tinue to move through the prewriting process, analyze your working thesis statement accord- ing to these questions from “The Defensible Thesis” (2000):

• Is it a complete sentence? • Does it express a debatable opinion—not a fact or “goes-without-saying” opinion? • Can the opposite be argued? • Can the thesis be argued rationally, not just emotionally or as a matter of faith? • Is it substantial enough for a complete essay? (para. 4)

As you conduct research and build your argument, return often to your research question and thesis statement; let them guide you as you work. It can help to write them down on Post-it notes that you affix to your computer monitor.

A Closer Look: More Examples includes examples of more research questions and working thesis statements.

A Closer Look: More Examples

The following are examples of initial research questions and the resulting working thesis statements. As you read, keep in mind that research questions and working thesis state- ments are rarely perfect the first time and often need to be revised throughout the writing process. Do you think these research questions and working thesis statements could be improved?

Research Question: What is the political party of the American Latino voter?

Working Thesis Statement: Although the Republican Party has made great strides to appeal to the Latino American population, the Democratic Party remains the party that best repre- sents the morals, desires, and preferences of Latino Americans.

Research Question: What is New York’s position on the rights and responsibilities transgen- der people?

Working Thesis Statement: New Yorkers are divided in their understanding of the transgen- der experience; however, a lack of understanding should not be a barrier to equal rights, and, therefore, transgender people should be permitted to live exclusively as their chosen gender with all rights, privileges, and legal designations of their chosen gender in the state of New York.

Research Question: What is the cause of the shrinking middle class in America?

Working Thesis Statement: The widening income gap is not due to the success of a small percentage of people, and therefore, higher tax rates for the largest income earners will not help strengthen the middle class in America.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

Thesis Statement Versus Purpose Statement A thesis statement declares a paper’s position—therefore, it should state an arguable posi- tion. Some documents, however, require a purpose statement rather than a thesis state- ment. Unlike a thesis, a purpose statement announces the paper and directly expresses why the paper was written but without stating a position (see Table 2.1). It directly acknowledges the speaker and purpose. A purpose statement is a statement of intent, not an arguable claim.

Table 2.1: Comparing thesis and purpose statements

Thesis statement Purpose statement

Despite the criminality of vandalism and the public nuisance it can create, America’s mainstream art community has embraced graffiti as a legitimate form of art.

This essay examines how the mainstream art com- munity approaches graffiti art.

The widening income gap is not due to the suc- cess of a small percentage of people, and therefore, higher tax rates for the largest income earners will not help to strengthen the middle class in America.

In this paper, I will disprove the myth that rais- ing taxes on America’s highest earners would strengthen the middle class.

Although the Republican Party has made great strides to appeal to the Latino American popula- tion, the Democratic Party remains the party that best represents the morals, desires, preferences of Latino Americans.

In this paper, the United States’ two major politi- cal parties will be analyzed in the context of Latino American culture.

G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : PA S S I V E A N D A C T I V E V O I C E

Passive voice can pose a barrier to clarity. Active voice is more direct and appropriate for academic and business writing.

Active Voice In a sentence written in active voice, the subject does the action.

• My dog ate her food.

In active voice, the doer of the action comes first. Active voice is most appropriate when a mes- sage needs to be delivered clearly and directly.

Passive Voice In a sentence written in passive voice, the subject does not do the action, but is instead acted upon.

• The food was eaten by my dog.

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Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

Keeping an Annotated Bibliography You will need to properly cite your sources at each stage of writing. What happens if you lose track of your resources and forget where you originally found a piece of information? To avoid this, it is very important for you to stay organized while you research.

Keeping an annotated bibliography can help you organize your information and share it with others. This tool allows you to reflect on the value of each source and keep track of your research during the prewriting process. Once you begin writing, you can refer to the annotated bibliography when citing information and introducing experts to your reader. You will also end up with an informative document to share with your instructor, tutor, research partner, or any other collaborator.

Australian Information Service professional Jennifer King (2010) outlines the following important purposes an annotated bibliography serves. Creating one can help you accomplish the following:

• Review the literature on a particular subject • Illustrate the scope and quality of your research, showing that you have read and

understood your sources • Describe other items on a topic that may be of interest to the reader • Provide a way for future researchers to decide whether a source will be helpful to

their own research if they read it (p. 35)

It is also useful to list your research question or working thesis statement at the top of the annotated bibliography. Annotations should analyze the source’s connection to your research goals. The first step in creating an annotated bibliography is to write a full reference citation for each source according to the style guide you are using. (Remember, each style guide has its own formatting requirements.) Then write a few paragraphs about each source using your own words. These paragraphs are the annotations. An annotation should always include the following:

• A full summary of the source, including its research methodology, findings, and limitations

G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : PA S S I V E A N D A C T I V E V O I C E ( c o n t i n u e d )

In passive voice, the receiver of the action comes first, while the doer of the action often appears last. The reader may get confused when the doer of the action is not immediately clear. Passive voice can be appropriate when “softening the blow” or otherwise avoiding a direct message, but is not appropriate when clarity is important.

Image: Kilroy79/iStock/Thinkstock

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

• A statement of credibility, ideally performed through the CRAAP test (see Chapter 3 for more)

• A description of SOAPS (see Chapter 1) • An analysis of how you will use the information in your argument

Using a Research Notebook A personal research notebook is also an effective tool for organizing informa- tion throughout the research process. A research notebook is not intended to be shared with others, but it is valuable to you as the researcher-writer. Many students and writers prefer to keep a lose-leaf binder, journal, or spiral-bound notebook to take research notes by hand. Others prefer to use a preformatted digital document for research notes. Careful note taking can help you track information and prevent you from duplicating your efforts. Whichever method you choose, remem- ber to keep careful notes on the following:

• SOAPS for the project (subject, occasion, audience, purpose, and speaker) • Research guidelines: assignment instructions, research question, and working thesis

statement • Search methods: databases searched, keywords used, filters utilized • Source information: author, title, year, publication information • Information summary:

– SOAPS for the document (subject, occasion, audience, purpose, and speaker) – Major points, methodology, findings, currency – Relevance: relationship to research question, synthesis with other information

Creating an Outline One of the final steps in the prewriting stage is to create a formal outline—the structured plan that will help you organize your ideas and subordinate topics. Your outline need not be complicated; the following basic structure will work:

• Introduction (including thesis statement) • Body paragraphs (built around each subtopic) • Conclusion (final argument that reiterates the thesis statement)

Begin with the key subtopics you will address in your paper. List the topics using Roman numerals (I, II, III, IV, V, VI, etc.). These entries will become your body paragraphs. Add the introduction paragraph to the top of the list and the conclusion paragraph to the bottom of the list.

Rawpixel/iStock/Thinkstock A research notebook (either hard copy or digital) allows you to keep your research, notes, methods, and guidelines organized in one place.

Section 2.1Planning and Prewriting Strategies

I. Introduction II. Subtopic 1 III. Subtopic 2 IV. Subtopic 3 V. Subtopic 4 VI. Subtopic 5 VII. Conclusion

Then list subordinate ideas, or ideas that are grouped under each subtopic, using capital Latin letters (A, B, C, D, etc.) and numerals (1, 2, 3, 4, etc.). Ideas need to directly relate to the cor- responding subtopic. Add evidence and examples from your research whenever appropriate.

I. Introduction II. Subtopic 1

A. Idea 1a 1. Example (cited)

B. Idea 1b 1. Example (cited)

III. Subtopic 2 A. Idea 2a

1. Evidence (cited) 2. Evidence (cited)

B. Counterargument 1. Rebuttal and evidence (cited)

IV. Subtopic 3 A. Idea 3a

1. Evidence (cited) 2. Example (cited)

B. Idea 3b 1. Evidence (cited)

V. Subtopic 4 A. Idea 4a

1. Evidence (cited) 2. Evidence (cited)

B. Counterargument 1. Rebuttal and evidence (cited)

VI. Subtopic 5 A. Idea 5a

1. Evidence (cited) 2. Evidence (cited)

B. Counterargument 1. Rebuttal and evidence (cited)

VII. Conclusion

Once you have completed a basic outline, you may need to step back and look at your work with fresh eyes.

• Does the information flow well from one topic to the next?

Section 2.2Drafting

• Should you move paragraph 2 down a bit? • Does it make more sense to begin the body of the paper with paragraph 3 or 4?

Shuffle your paragraphs as often as you need until everything makes sense and flows from beginning to end. It may help to write information on index cards: Use one card for each Roman numeral. Then try physically shuffling them like a deck of cards. Or you can write your ideas down on Post-it notes to achieve a similar effect—try moving them around and arrang- ing them in different ways. Once you have solidified the order of your paragraphs, rewrite your outline so it reflects the best sequence. Then fill in your research information and cita- tions. Voila! You have constructed an outline for your paper. It will serve as your road map to the final draft.

2.2 Drafting If you have given prewriting your best effort, you are ready to begin drafting your paper. Drafting is the creation of a preliminary version of a text. Do not pres- sure yourself to make your first attempt perfect. All roughs drafts are . . . rough. A rough draft is never a writer’s best work (see A Closer Look: Anne Lamott on Drafting).

Writers who tend to have the Use First Precision Learning Pattern and tend to be perfectionists may have a hard time get- ting started or moving forward because they are aiming for excellence on their first try. In fact, they may work so hard on the first draft that they assume it can serve as a solid final paper. However, this is not the case. Writers who tend to Use Conflu- ence First may feel like risking the consequences of skipping the revision phase and submit- ting a rough draft to save time. Those writers will also find out that this is a mistake. All writ- ers of all possible Learning Pattern combinations need to revise their first drafts. No matter how confident a writer may feel, the first draft will always be inferior to a final version that has benefited from revision.

Milkos/iStock/Thinkstock It can take a while for your brain to “warm up” when you begin to draft your essay. Though the task may seem intimidating, keep in mind that a rough draft is never a writer’s best work; it is just a starting point.

A Closer Look: Anne Lamott on Drafting

If you are feeling discouraged about your first drafts, check out American writer Anne Lamott’s essay “Shitty First Drafts.” Remember that your drafts are just that: drafts!

https://wrd.as.uky.edu/sites/default/files/1-Shitty%20First%20Drafts.pdf

Section 2.2Drafting

Understanding Structure Formal essays follow a formal structure. Your outline provides you with a basic framework, which is:

• Introduction • Body paragraphs • Conclusion

Just like your favorite courtroom drama television attorney, you will need to introduce the audience to your argument, give them all of the information, piece by piece, and then leave them with a persuasive closing statement.

Body Paragraphs Although your paper will begin with an introduction, it is often easier to begin drafting the body paragraphs first. Use your outline to structure ideas and build each paragraph, begin- ning with a topic sentence that announces the subtopic and indicates the claim(s) the para- graph will present. Then share examples and evidence from your research. Finally, discuss the information within the context of your argument and transition to the next subtopic. Repeat this process for each subtopic until you have completed a draft of all body paragraphs.

1. Topic sentence 2. Claim(s) + evidence 3. Discussion, transition

Construct each body paragraph on its own, following the three-section formula and using formal Edited American English (see A Closer Look: Edited American English for characteris- tics of EAE). Remember, this is just a first draft. You can improve your work later!

A Closer Look: Edited American English

Features of Edited American English

No contractions Contractions are not used in EAE. Use full phrases (like “do not”) rather than con- tractions (like “don’t”).

Active voice The subject of the sentence should be taking action. A subject should not have the action put upon it.

Formal sentence structure Sentences are always complete and properly structured. EAE is free from run-on sentences or other sentence-level errors.

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Section 2.2Drafting

Introduction Paragraph Once the body paragraphs have been developed, review your argument. You will need to con- struct an introduction paragraph that gives your audience sufficient background information and presents your thesis statement. Introductory comments must be tailored to the rhetori- cal situation, so remember your SOAPS! Give your audience a clear idea of the topic and set the stage for your argument. Then end the introduction paragraph with your single-sentence thesis statement.

If your body paragraphs have taken your argument in a slightly different direction, or if you have added additional subtopics to the body of your paper, revise your thesis statement accordingly. It may be helpful to make a list of your topic sentences to check their relationship to the thesis statement. For example, Yolanda completed a rough draft of her body paragraphs but still needs to check her thesis statement before drafting an introduction. She has made a list of the topic sentences that open each body paragraph:

A Closer Look: Edited American English (continued) Features of Edited American English

No vague pronouns Pronouns like he, she, they, and it can be confusing to the reader. Use proper nouns or descriptive nouns instead.

Last names and gender neutrality People are referred to by last name. Gender-specific titles such as Mr. or Mrs. are discouraged. The pronoun they can be used as a singu- lar, gender-neutral pronoun when necessary.

Standard capitalization EAE follows title-case and sentence-case capitalization rules. Words are not written in all capital letters except to denote an acronym.

No slang Slang, colloquialisms, neolo- gisms, euphemisms, double- speak, and clichés should be avoided.

Clear and concise EAE is not wordy, pompous, or otherwise verbose. Word choice is accurate, and mean- ing is clear.

Spelling and punctuation EAE follows standard Ameri- can spelling and punctua- tion. Punctuation is not used to create characters, such as emoticons.

Yolanda’s Topic Sentences

• Pet overpopulation in America is causing environmental and sociological problems. • Designer and purebred dogs are created by artificial genetic modification through

selective breeding practices. • Selective breeding practices result in exacerbated medical conditions in canines. • Rescue organizations do not participate in selective breeding for designer or purebred

animals. • Rescue organizations reduce the pet population in America by spaying and neutering all

animals before they are released.

Section 2.2Drafting

Yolanda can now check each topic sentence against her thesis statement to make sure the thesis covers the topic and there are no stray ideas or tangents. She makes revisions and develops a very rough draft introduction paragraph—with typos and errors, as is to be expected at this stage—that ends with a revised thesis statement.

Conclusion Paragraph Conclusions are often an afterthought and tend to get written when a student is burned out, tired, or feeling careless. However, a sloppy conclusion will leave your reader dissatisfied. Your introduction and conclusion must be as well developed as all of your paper’s other para- graphs. Think carefully about the function of your conclusion, as well as your audience’s read- ing experience. Your introduction may have been fairly long because its job was to prepare the audience for the argument. You had to provide context and background information before introducing the paper’s position. The conclusion paragraph serves a different purpose, and thus it may be much shorter than the introduction.

Examine your outline and body paragraph topic sentences before drafting your conclusion. Which topics are most essential? What does your audience need to remember about your argument? Review your introduction and thesis statement. You will need to create a similar— but not identical—statement for your conclusion. How can you restate this information in a new and meaningful way?

Begin writing the conclusion as a summary of the paper’s topic sentences. Then remind the audience of the paper’s position by reinforcing the claim you made in your thesis statement. Finally, provide a suggestion, recommendation, or consideration for the future or end with a call to action. It is okay to begin with a formulaic conclusion, so long as you give yourself time to revise it and make it powerful.

To give your audience a strong, persuasive closing statement, avoid these common traps:

• Do not restate your thesis word for word. • Do not introduce new information or evidence. • Do not slip into personal reflection. • Do not directly tell your reader what to do. Conclude the argument with a call to

action that makes your reader want to act instead.

Yolanda’s Introduction First Draft Dog’s are important members of many families, especially since they live for many years and can be with children from childhood all the way through until they become adults. People without children also enjoy having dogs in their lives as surrogates for the parent-child rela- tionship. There are man ways to obtain a dog in America nowadays. First, there is pet stores. Second there are licensed breeders. Then there are unlicensed or home breeders. There are also many shelters and rescue organizations that take care of homeless or unwanted pets until they’re forever family can be found. Due to the pet overpopulation in America and the exac- erbated medical ramifications of selective breeding, people should adopt rescued dogs rather than purchase a puppy from any type of breeder or pet store.

Section 2.2Drafting

• Do not quote sources. Your audience wants to hear the conclusion of your specific argument.

• Do not announce the paragraph. Your audience should be able to identify the conclu- sion statement without a signal phrase like “in conclusion . . .”

• Do not fall into first-person or second-person perspective. Maintain your academic voice.

By avoiding these pitfalls, Yolanda can draft a rough conclusion paragraph that she can revise and improve later.

Creating the Title Once you have completed your first rough draft, you are ready to give it a strong, unique title. You may have applied a working title to your paper while you were prewriting, but now it is time to give it a proper name.

Academic papers should have descriptive titles that are specific and original. Refrain from using a sarcastic, silly, or trendy title. Instead, focus on the subject, position, and specifics of your paper and create a title that accurately reflects these elements. Examples of strong titles include:

• “Sixteenth-Century Philosophy and Modern Implications for Election-Year Politics” • “Judy Garland and the Systematic Destruction of Women by the Hollywood Machine” • “The Influence of Christianity on Stranger Things and The Walking Dead”

If you want to include a clever hook in your title, use a colon before adding the more formal portion:

• “Take a Knee: The First Amendment and Workplace Protest in America” • “An Imaginary Glass Ceiling: The Role of White Men in Organizational Leadership

and Equality” • “Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: The ‘Folk Logic’ and ‘Common Sense’ Driving

Politics in 2010s America”

Your title should be specific enough to prepare your audience for the argument and also dis- tinctive enough that no one else would be likely to use the same one. Consider the ways in which you have approached your subject, brainstormed ideas, identified issues, asked ques- tions, researched the topic, and developed a position. Think about your individual perspec- tive and process and create a title that encapsulates your unique argument.

Yolanda’s Rough Conclusion Paragraph The sale of commercially bred puppies from pet stores should be banned unless all ethical recommendations become legally mandatory. In the meantime, many mixed-breed dogs in shelters are in need of homes. Therefore, families should first consider adopting a dog from a shelter or rescue organization rather than purchasing a puppy from an unregulated commer- cial enterprise like a pet store or large breeding enterprise.

Section 2.3Collaboration and Feedback

2.3 Collaboration and Feedback It can feel awkward to give or receive feedback. Sometimes we feel as though feedback on an assignment reflects someone else’s assumption or judgment about us. The truth, however, is that feedback is a set of observations about the writing, not the writer. Once we understand that there is a difference between our work and our selves, we will be in a better position to give and receive good feedback. Remember, feedback comprises observations about a docu- ment and does not constitute a judgment about the person who wrote it.

It is important to take time to prepare for the feedback process, whether giving or receiving it. Educational expert Marilee Adams (2013) suggests using the “ABCD Choice Process.” This process is experienced through four steps:

• The first step is to pause and become aware of your current state of mind. You may be feeling like a judge—or like you are being judged—rather than a learner. You may be slipping into a fixed mindset rather than adopting a growth mindset. Adams (2013) tells us to be aware of our state of mind so we can intentionally choose to approach the task as a learner with a growth mindset.

• The second step is to breathe. A strong, mindful deep breath can reduce stress and clear your mind. Take deep breaths until you feel calm, centered, and prepared to learn.

• Once you feel calm, you can open yourself up to curiosity. Curiosity requires you to be comfortable with the unknown and also prepared to ask questions.

• After opening your mind and becoming curious, you will be prepared to decide. At this point, you are prepared to give good feedback and receive it from others.

Working With Tutors Most universities offer tutoring services for free or at a very reduced price. Tutors are avail- able for students of all skill levels in all stages of their writing process. To get the most out of a tutoring session, organize your materials and have an assignment’s instructions nearby. Also keep the grading rubric on hand so your tutor is aware of how your assignment will be assessed. Schedule tutoring as early as possible so you have time to reflect on the experience and use the information long before an assignment is due.

Remember to approach tutoring with a growth mindset. The tutor will offer you guidance and suggestions but will not do the work for you. Do not be frustrated if the tutor spends time teaching you to help yourself rather than fixing your problems. A tutor’s job is to provide you with one-on-one guidance and support so you can develop your skills and improve your writing.

While collaborating with a tutor, listen carefully. Take notes and speak up should you have a question. A tutor may use an unfamiliar word or communicate differently than your instruc- tor. If you do not understand a tutor’s comments, ask for clarification. If you have specific concerns the tutor has not addressed, bring them up. Tutors are a great resource for advice, clarification, and skill development, but they are not mind readers. The more communicative you are with your tutor, the better your experience will be.

Section 2.3Collaboration and Feedback

Instructor Feedback An instructor will provide feedback on assignments, which must be used to build your skills and improve your writing. Instructor feedback offers you the chance to receive a fresh per- spective on your work and one-on-one instruction. It can be unnerving to turn your work over to an audience; however, writers must eventually invite others to read their work. Your instructor will provide you with the audience’s perspective while giving you guidance, sug- gestions, and corrections.

Instructors would love to spend hours on each assignment, diving into the work and engaging with you on your plans for revision. However, they are responsible for helping every student in class and may not be able to provide as much in-depth attention and explanation as they would like. Therefore, instructors tend to prioritize the feedback they have for you, giving you the information they think is most necessary.

Instructor comments are sometimes very brief (see Table 2.2). When an instructor leaves you a quick note on your marked-up paper, they assume you know what the comment means. If you are confused, ask! Request that the instructor provide an example or elaborate on what was meant.

Table 2.2: Sample instructor comments

Quick comment What it means

Too broad Narrow the focus

Your explanation may be too vague. Add more detail and specificity to your work. Make sure the information is tied directly to your thesis statement.

Underdeveloped Explain Elaborate

You may have rushed over an idea; your audience needs more informa- tion. Think about your audience, refer to your research, and add addi- tional evidence and discussion to the paragraph.

Wordy Verbose Simplify

You may be overcomplicating your message. Sentences should not be overly complex, jargon should be limited and appropriate, and messages should be delivered clearly and simply. Work on writing in a more direct and concise style.

Unclear What is the point? State the position

Your thesis statement may be observational, unspecific, or missing alto- gether. Take some time to review your research question, reflect on your body paragraphs, and then clearly state a specific, arguable thesis.

Cite Citation needed Source?

You may have made a claim without supporting evidence or shared research without telling your audience where the information came from. Make sure the source of information is always clearly communicated to the audience.

Awkward The passage is hard to read due to grammatical errors, inaccurate word choice, poor sentence structure, or typos. Read your work aloud and see if you can catch the issue.

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Section 2.3Collaboration and Feedback

Table 2.2: Sample instructor comments (continued)

Quick comment What it means

Tangent Red herring

You may have strayed off topic. Take a close look at your thesis statement or topic sentence and make sure content is related and applicable. Resolve the issue by removing the stray passage or weaving it into the argument in a more direct way.

Grammar Grammatical mistake Spelling Punctuation

An instructor will not spend time editing mechanical mistakes but may let you know that your work contains errors. It is your responsibility to edit your work and make corrections yourself.

Voice Register Tone Perspective

You will need to revise your work so it has an academic voice, is writ- ten in Edited American English, or is more closely tied to the rhetorical situation.

Peer Review One of the best ways to move the revision process forward is to collaborate with your peers. Students are fortunate to have a classroom full of peers. Having another student peer review your work offers you a chance to solicit a reader’s responses and ideas. When you receive a peer review, focus on the collaborative process. Remember, you should be working with—not against—a reviewer to improve your writing.

• Do not take criticism personally. Remember, your reviewer is analyzing your writing and is not judging you.

• Keep an eye out for differences in opinion or perspectives between you and your reviewer. If a reviewer tells you they are confused or if they contradict or disagree with you, other readers are likely to have the same reaction. Figure out why your reviewer was challenged and take time to correct the problem.

• Prioritize the reviewer’s concerns. Your reviewer may provide you with a lot of suggestions and advice. Think about the biggest issues and decide which comments require your attention and which do not.

• Take care with feedback that introduces contradictions or inaccuracies into your work. A peer reviewer may make mistakes or have inaccurate information. It is pos- sible that a peer reviewer might give you a suggestion that contradicts information from class or otherwise is out of step with feedback you have received from your instructor. When in doubt, ask the reviewer or verify with the instructor.

Peer review is a reciprocal experience. If you accept a review from a peer, offer a review in return. Remember the Golden Rule from elementary school? It is an important part of a writers’ workshop, too: Review the work of others as you would like your own work to be reviewed. If you formatted your in-text citations incorrectly, wouldn’t you want someone to tell you? If your thesis statement needs work, wouldn’t you appreciate some suggestions? What sort of help will benefit you as you revise? Just as when you received feedback from a peer, focus on being collaborative when you review a peer’s work:

Section 2.4Revision

• Recap information. When you restate the writer’s ideas, it helps the writer see whether an audience understands his or her message.

• Behave like a coach rather than a boss. Offer suggestions without telling the writer what to do or how to do it.

• Highlight things that are working well. Do not hand out gold stars or vague praise like “great job.” Point out specific elements that are effective and identify the writer’s specific strengths.

• Ask questions. Tell the writer where you were confused or desired more informa- tion. Help the writer see where other readers may have questions or get confused.

2.4 Revision Once you have worked with a tutor, re- ceived feedback, and had your work reviewed, you will be ready to revise your rough first draft and make it the best final draft it can be. Revising is when the writer uses feedback and review to make global changes. Revision is important to all writ- ten assignments; every first draft contains errors, awkward passages, and areas for improvement. Think about the big picture as you revise. Make sure your argument is logical and supported by appropriate evi- dence. Take your time and enjoy the revi- sion process. Think of yourself as carving a beautiful statue from a rough block of stone!

The Big Picture Take a step back and think about context and the rhetorical situation. When you began the writing process, you considered the rhetorical situation by identifying the subject, occasion, audience, purpose, and speaker (SOAPS). Take a look at your work and make sure it is appro- priate for the situation. Then review the assignment instructions and grading rubric and make sure your work meets the requirements. If it does not align with the instructor’s expectations, make a plan to address the problem.

Organization and Flow Review your draft for organization and flow and refer to your tutoring notes, peer review, and instructor feedback. Pay close attention to comments regarding transitions, the progression of ideas, and the order of the body paragraphs. Revise the body of the paper to improve flow and strengthen organization.

g-stockstudio/iStock/Thinkstock Revision is an important step in the writing process. As you revise, consider your paper’s big picture, organization and flow, thesis statement, and the rhetorical situation.

Section 2.4Revision

Approach your paper from a reader’s perspective. Imagine you are the audience, reading the information for the first time. Ask yourself the following questions to gain the reader’s perspective:

• Does information follow a logical order, or does it skip around? • Does the reader have enough context in the introduction to understand the specific

argument? • Is the point of the paper clear from the start? • Will the reader be engaged in the message, or might they think, “So what”? • Is the focus clear? Does the paper stray off topic? • Does each body paragraph lead logically to the next?

The Reverse Outline A reverse outline can help you analyze your paper’s structure and organization as you revise. If your prewriting outline was your road map, your reverse outline will be a GPS record of where you have actually been. Use the same alphanumeric structure you used in your pre- writing outline to review your paper’s basic structure.

Revising a Thesis Statement As the argument changes as a result of the revision process, so too should the thesis state- ment change. Your working thesis statement served as a tool to keep you focused on your argument without getting sidetracked by tangential information or ideas beyond its scope. As you developed your first draft, the thesis statement became a tool the audience could use to understand your paper’s position. Now it is time to revise the thesis statement and create a final version.

It is essential that the thesis statement clearly and specifically declare your argument. It is common for a working thesis statement to be observational but not arguable. When that hap- pens, the writer must return to the research question and revise the thesis statement to state a clear, arguable position.

An observational thesis statement names the writer’s topic. For example:

• Many pet owners agree that dogs should be obtained from shelters instead of pet stores.

An arguable thesis statement states the writer’s argument. For example:

• Due to the pet overpopulation in America and the exacerbated medical ramifications of selective breeding, municipal laws should be ratified to outlaw the sale of kittens and puppies from unregulated breeders and pet stores.

The thesis statement should be the final sentence of the introduction. Revise the thesis state- ment and make sure it is located at the end of the paragraph.

Section 2.4Revision

Filling the Gaps As you revise, you may find that your argument has holes, or you may find gaps in your paper’s structure. Identify the areas of your draft that need further development and restart the writ- ing process. Pay close attention to the subtopic and consult your research notes to locate more evidence, additional examples, or extra information that better develops the idea. If you do not have what you need, restart your research process. Return to the digital library and search for information to support your argument’s subtopic. Then add the information to the appropriate body paragraph or draft an entirely new body paragraph.

Once you have filled the gaps, recheck your work for organization and flow. Your revisions may have changed the way your argument progresses, which may require work to be reorga- nized. Take another look at your thesis statement to make sure it still comprehensively covers the argument. Make changes until you are confident that the material you have added served to strengthen your argument.

Introduction and Conclusion After revising the paper’s body and thesis, turn your attention to the introduction and con- clusions. Your revisions may have changed the way your argument reaches the audience, and your introduction and conclusion will need to be adjusted to reflect the new message. Remember, the introduction paragraph should begin broadly and then become more narrow until it ends with the specific thesis statement (see Figure 2.4).

G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : W O R D I N E S S A N D C O N C I S I O N

Concision is the skill of using fewer words to effectively convey a message. Wordiness, on the other hand, is when a writer uses too many words to convey a message. The seminal writing text, Elements of Style, states that effective writing is concise and well edited (Strunk, 1918). To write more concisely, consider wordiness pitfalls at every level of writing:

• Sentence level – Check for unnecessary words – Remove repetitive words – Delete intensifiers like really, very, quite, extremely

• Paragraph level – Check for unnecessary sentences – Remove repetitive sentences or phrases – Delete unoriginal phrases like all things considered, as a matter of fact, at the present

time, in this day and age, due to the fact that, for all intents and purposes, nowadays

Wordiness tends to obscure a writer’s ideas and can frustrate a reader. Reading wordy work can be like walking into a house overcrowded with stuff. There is too much clutter to see where you are or should go. Clear out the clutter, and you will craft a clearer message and more successful argument.

Image: Kilroy79/iStock/Thinkstock

Section 2.4Revision

Figure 2.4: Introduction

Use this illustration as a guide for how to structure your introduction paragraph. Start with background and context to set up your argument and lead into your thesis statement.

Yolanda paid close attention as she revised her essay and thought about the experience her audience would have while reading her paper. Then she made changes to her introduction to give a reader enough background information and context to set up the argument and present the thesis statement.

The conclusion reverses this pattern. It begins with a reminder of the paper’s thesis state- ment and ends with a broader universal message (see Figure 2.5).

Yolanda’s Revised Introduction Dogs are important members of many families, especially since they live for many years and can be with children from childhood all the way through until they become adults. People without children also enjoy having dogs in their lives as surrogates for the parent-child rela- tionship. There are many ways to obtain a dog in America and similar western countries. Many people choose to obtain a puppy from a pet store in a shopping center, mall, or another commercial storefront. Others seek out puppies from seemingly licensed breeders; however, many puppies are also supplied by unlicensed or home breeders. Because of the sheer num- ber of dogs lost or abandoned, shelters and rescue organizations that take care of homeless or unwanted pets until a forever family can be found. Family pets should be seen as a lifetime guardianship commitment and not a frivolous financial business transaction. The ramifica- tions of treating living creatures as consumer goods are great. Due to the pet overpopulation in America and the exacerbated medical ramifications of selective breeding, it is more ethical to adopt a rescued dog than to purchase a commercially bred puppy.

Section 2.5Editing

Figure 2.5: Conclusion

Use this illustration as a guide for how to structure your conclusion paragraph. Start with the specific thesis statement and recap and end with a broad universal message or call to action.

Again, Yolanda considered her revised essay and introduction paragraph before turning her attention to the conclusion paragraph. She revisited the thesis statement, then drew out more universal information to end on a strong call to action.

2.5 Editing A final draft is complete when a writer successfully undergoes the entire writing process. A revised draft is nearly done but is not yet complete. A final draft is only final when there is nothing more a writer can do to improve it. The last stage in the writing process involves edit- ing, in which the writer corrects mistakes.

Yolanda’s Revised Conclusion Paragraph Pet overpopulation is a real concern in America, negatively impacting quality of life and envi- ronmental safety. Additional animals bred through selective breeding for popular character- istics not only add to the pet population, but they also suffer from exacerbated medical condi- tions and genetic disease. Meanwhile, shelters and rescue groups are overflowing with home- less pets in need. Shelters and rescue groups vaccinate and spay or neuter each pet before releasing them to pre-screened families, reducing the potential for pet population growth and assuring better potential quality of life. The sale of commercially-bred puppies from pet stores should be banned unless all ethical recommendations become legally mandatory. Therefore, families should first consider adopting a dog from a shelter or rescue organization rather than purchasing a puppy from an unregulated commercial enterprise like a pet store or large breeding enterprise.

Section 2.5Editing

Format The style guide will dictate how your paper is formatted. You may enjoy looking at stylized fonts and graphic borders, but you will need to conform to the requirements of the style guide. Double-check your document and make sure you have properly formatted the following ele- ments of your paper:

• Title page and title block • Font (type, size, and color) • Margins (width and height) • Running headers (content and appearance) • Spacing (line spacing and gaps) • In-text and parenthetical citations (content and punctuation) • Reference or works cited list (layout and organization) • Reference citations (content, capitalization, punctuation, font, and indentation)

Sentences One of the best ways to spot sentence-level issues is to read each sentence aloud. When we read our work out loud, we are more likely to notice errors that our eyes tend to miss. Writ- ers often discover confused words, run-on sentences, fragments, and unclear language when they take the time to read the sentence out loud. Table 2.3 illustrates some common sentence problems.

If you come across a problematic sentence in your paper that has issues, but you are unsure how to fix it, refer to writing center materials or touch base with a writing center tutor. While a tutor will not edit your paper for you, they can help you understand the rules of grammar that may apply to your situation. In this way, tutors can help you strengthen your sentence- writing and self-editing skills.

Table 2.3: Common sentence problems

Sentence-level issue Solution strategy

Sentence length If your sentences are very short and feel choppy, use more com- plex or compound sentences. If your sentences are too long and feel tedious for the reader, break them up into separate, simpler sentences.

Vague pronouns and references If your sentences begin with “it” or “there,” your reader may be con- fused. Replace vague pronouns and references with proper nouns or descriptive nouns to resolve the problem.

Redundancy If you notice that you have used the same word over and over again, make some changes. Combine the ideas into a complex or com- pound sentence or use accurate synonyms to resolve the repetition.

Tone If you spot slang, colloquialisms, or casual phrases, replace them with more formal language.

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Section 2.5Editing

Table 2.3: Common sentence problems (continued)

Sentence-level issue Solution strategy

Word choice If a word seems awkward or out of place, seek a more accurate choice. Check for misused homonyms or other confused words.

Verb tense Check each sentence for consistent, accurate verb tense. Make sure you refer to published research in the past tense.

Perspective Depending on the assignment, your work will need to be written from a specific point of view. If the assignment is expected to be written in third-person perspective, ensure there is no first- or second-person perspective writing present.

Proofreading Proofreading is usually the last step in the writing process. Once a paper has been revised and edited, a writer can begin to proofread. A final paper should be free of mistakes, typos, and spelling errors. It is a good idea to print a hard copy of your draft for the proofreading stage. Grab a ruler, colored pens, or a highlighter and begin to check your work, word by word and line by line.

Proofreading can be tedious, and tired eyes may miss mistakes. This is why it is important to take breaks while proofreading. Step away from the assignment and clear your mind, then return to your work with a careful eye on the small details. Some of the items you should focus on include:

• Submission date • Typos • Spelling errors • Capitalization errors • Punctuation errors • Missing/omitted words • “Track changes” or comments that need to be cleared • Template fields or language that needs to be deleted

G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : C O M M A S A N D S E M I C O L O N S

Commas A comma is used with a coordinating conjunction when joining two independent clauses.

• The dog did not have a ball to chase, so he chased his tail instead.

A comma is used alone when joining an independent clause with a subordinate clause.

• If you’re the last one out, lock the barn.

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Summary and Resources

Summary and Resources Chapter Summary This chapter has provided you with a basic overview of the writing process. The writing pro- cess is recursive and may be different for each assignment and project. However, with prac- tice, you will develop a basic process that can be tailored for any writing occasion.

G R A M M A R S P O T L I G H T : C O M M A S A N D S E M I C O L O N S ( c o n t i n u e d )

A comma is used after an introductory clause or phrase.

• Without a ball to chase, the dog became bored.

Commas are used when three or more items are listed in a series, including the Oxford comma before the conjunction.

• Our farm has dogs, cats, horses, goats, pigs, llamas, and chickens.

Commas are used between coordinate adjectives but are not used between cumulative adjec- tives. Coordinate adjectives, which individually modify the noun that follows, can appear in any order, whereas cumulative adjectives must appear in a certain order for the sentence to make sense.

• Horses with overgrown, painful hooves must see the farrier this week. (Both overgrown and painful separately modify hooves. The hooves are both overgrown and painful.)

• The pigs ate a heavy protein-based commercial feed. (Here, heavy modifies the phrase protein-based commercial feed, and protein-based modifies the phrase commercial feed. The phrases protein-based heavy commercial feed or commercial heavy protein-based feed do not make sense.)

Commas are used to set off nonessential elements and expressions.

• The chickens, which are very noisy, laid several eggs this morning. • However, the rooster was quiet this morning. • The chickens, as far as I’m concerned, can run free today.

Semicolons A semicolon is used to join two independent clauses.

• The dog was excited to see me when I returned home; the cat preferred to keep to herself.

A semicolon is used between items in a series only when items already contain commas.

• Our farm has dogs, which are Rottweilers and German Shepherds; cats, which are mostly feral; horses, including two mares, a foal, a stallion, and two geldings; goats; pigs; llamas but no alpacas; and a variety of chickens.

Image: Kilroy79/iStock/Thinkstock

Summary and Resources

Writers should prepare themselves to work by embarking on targeted, intentional prewriting exercises. Successful prewriting can set you up to have a smoother drafting experience and help keep you organized throughout the research process. Drafting may feel like a chore, but with effective prewriting under your belt, you will be ready to write a draft that will serve as a starting point for revision. Revision and editing may also require additional prewriting efforts and/or drafting.

Web Resources Inspiration from Successful Writers

• Anne Lamott: 12 Truths I Learned From Life And Writing • Joshua Prager: Wisdom From Great Writers on Every Year of Life • Elizabeth Gilbert: Success, Failure, And The Drive To Keep Creating • Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: The Danger of a Single Story

Essays on Writing

• Joe Fassler: My 150 Writing Mentors and Me From the Atlantic • Megan Garber: Writing Advice From a (Newly Minted) Nobel Winner From

the Atlantic • Megan McArdle: Why Writers Are the Worst Procrastinators From the Atlantic • Victoria Clayton: The Needless Complexity of Academic Writing From the Atlantic • Meghan Tifft: An Introverted Writer’s Lament From the Atlantic • Pasha Malla: What Julio Cortázar Might Teach Us About Teaching Writing From

the New Yorker • David Means: Denis Johnson’s Lasting Advice From the New Yorker • Hallie Cantor: The Writer’s Process From the New Yorker

Key Terms annotated bibliography A reference list that includes a brief analysis of each source’s connection to the researcher’s goals.

brainstorming The generation of ideas.

digital library A collection of materials in electronic form.

drafting The creation of a preliminary ver- sion of a text.

editing The final stage of the writing process that is concerned with correcting mistakes.

growth mindset The belief that abilities can be developed through effort, dedication, and focus.

outline A structured plan for organizing ideas and subordinating topics.

prewriting A general term for many activi- ties undertaken before drafting a paper. Prewriting begins when the writing prompt is first read and continues until drafting takes place.

proofreading The last step in the writing process involving a final, detailed read, in order to correct last errors.

Summary and Resources

purpose statement The writer’s intent for the paper.

research guide A tool for locating informa- tion on a particular subject.

research question An answerable inquiry into the issues and concerns surrounding a topic.

reverse outline A structured summary of a paper’s ideas and subordinate topics.

revising The stage of writing after draft- ing, in which feedback and review are used to make global changes and improve a first draft.

working thesis statement A preliminary position statement that states a claim and focuses a writer during the prewriting and drafting stages.

Reading

Rescue and Shelter Dogs: Annotated Bibliography

Yolanda B. Student

ENG122: English Composition II

Professor I. M. Jackson

August 31, 2016

Reading Remember Yolanda's final paper in Chapter 1? In this chapter, we followed along as Yolanda draft- ed and revised parts of her paper. This section allows you to see Yolanda's full bibliography, outline, and rough draft—be sure to check out the annotated versions in your e-book. Notice how Yolanda's paper evolved before becoming the final paper you read in Chapter 1.

Sample Annotated Bibliography

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Reading

Rescue and Shelter Dogs: Annotated Bibliography

Working thesis statement: Families should only be permitted to adopt dogs from shelters and rescue organizations and pet stores should be outlawed.

Farrell, L. L., Schoenebeck, J. J., Wiener, P., Clements, D. N., & Sum- mers, K. M. (2015). The challenges of pedigree dog health: approaches to combating inherited disease. Canine Genetics And Epidemiology, doi:10.1186/s40575-015-0014-9

Summary of article: Since humans have selectively bred dogs for physical and behavioral characteristics through inbreed- ing, pedigree dogs can be plagued by genetic disease. This is particularly true for recessive genes that are not mitigated through genetic diversity. The only way breeders can ethically create healthy litters is through ongoing diagnostic screening of all dogs along with genetic testing regardless of arbitrarily chosen aesthetics of the animal.

Assessment of article: The authors are affiliated with the Roslin Institute and the Royal School of Veterinary studies in Edinburgh. Canine Genetics and Epidemiology is an open access publisher of bio-medical research with rigorous peer- review before publication. This is a scholarly source.

Reflection on article: Based on this evidence, I think I can claim that pet stores do not take the steps necessary to ensure healthy pets. In addition to this evidence, I need to find evidence of the actual requirements pet store have for their breeders. If I find evidence that they do not require diagnostic screening and genetic testing of breeding animals, I can claim that dogs from pet stores may be plagued by genetic disease.

Ghirlanda, S., Acerbi, A., & Herzog, H. (2014). Dog movie stars and dog breed popularity: A case study in media influence on choice. PLoS One, 9(9), 1-5. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0106565

Sample Annotated Bibliography (continued)

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Reading

Summary of article: The researchers used data from the American Kennel Club (AKC) because it is the largest archive of dog registry information in the world. The researchers sampled the dog breed registration numbers filed with the AKC between 1926 and 2005. Using film archive databases, the researchers identified 87 movies featuring dogs released in the United States between 1927 and 2004. The influence of canine movie “stardom” on dog registration numbers was measured following statistical methods, controlling for as many variables as possible. The researchers found that dog breeds used in popular movies have a statistically significant impact on the popularity of the breed. When a film starred a particular breed of dog, that breed became more popular within the AKC registry. This influence was stronger in the earlier years of the data set, with less influence in more recent years.

Assessment of article: Stefano Ghirlanda is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Brooklyn College and is affiliated with the Centre for the Study of Cultural Evolution (CSCE) at Stockholm University. Alberto Acerbi is also affiliated with the CSCE and is a professor in the Department of Archaeology and Anthropology at the University of Bristol. Harold Herzog is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Western Carolina University. PLoS One is an online publisher of scien- tific studies across multiple disciplines. All articles are fully refereed and peer reviewed. This is a scholarly source.

Reflection on article: Based on this evidence, I can make a claim that desire for a pure-bred dog may be based upon popular culture trends rather than more rational or logical decision-making processes.

Indrebø, A. (2008). Animal welfare in modern dog breeding [Spe- cial Section]. Acta Veterinaria Scandinavica, 50(56), 1-6. doi:10.1186/1751-0147-50-S1-S6

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Sample Annotated Bibliography (continued)

Reading

Summary of article: Indrebø argues that health should be a part of breed standards. Previously, breed standards were focused on aesthetics and temperament with disregard for health. Indrebø found that it will take “several generations to change the breed through genetic selection in order to eradicate the unhealthy over-typed dogs” (pp. 1-2). Indrebø recommends a screening program for all breeding dogs in the development of any breeding program and touches upon the need for a National Disease Register. The article contains a number of charts that illustrate the increasing instances of genetic disease in pedigree dogs over time. The article ends with a list of ten recommendations for every breeding pro- gram which includes only breeding very healthy dogs, per- centages for breeding stock, a limit on “matador breeding,” excluding female dogs who are unable to give birth naturally, screening for polygenetic diseases, DNA testing, and natural puppy-rearing with its birth mother.

Assessment of article: Astrid Indrebø is affiliated with the Nor- wegian Kennel Club and the Department of Companion Ani- mal Clinical Sciences at the Norwegian School of Veterinary Science. This article is a portion of a presentation at the 21st Symposium of the Nordic Committee for Veterinary Scientific Cooperation in Denmark. It is a report of medical research and was rigorously peer reviewed by Bio Med Central before publication. It is a scholarly source.

Reflection on article: Based on this evidence, I can claim that genetic disease is on the rise. I can also claim that a respon- sible breeder must carry out a large number of recommen- dations to be a responsible breeder of pedigree animals. In addition to this evidence, I need to find evidence of the actual requirements pet stores have for their breeders. If I find evi- dence that they do not require breeders to adhere to recom- mendations outlined in this article, I can claim that dogs from

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Sample Annotated Bibliography (continued)

Reading

pet stores may be bred unethically and without regard to the animal’s welfare.

Jeppsson, S. (2014). Purebred dogs and canine wellbeing. Journal of Agricultural and Environmental Ethics, 27(3), 417-430. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10806-013-9470-y

Summary of article: Jeppsson studied the health and wellbe- ing of purebred dogs. She found that some breeders consider health and wellbeing in their breeding practices. However, those efforts are generally ineffective because, she says, “there are no guarantees in breeding” (p. 419). She discusses the eth- ical duty of breeders to not create dogs with sickly or tortur- ous lives through selective breeding for qualities other than health (such as appearance, coat type, size, etc.). Jeppsson posits that the only way to produce dogs with more wellbeing is to introduce genetic diversity. Such action would improve dog health and wellbeing but would hinder breed preserva- tion and conformation. She calls for the end of breeding any sickly or unhealthy dog breed while “loosening the genetic barriers between remaining breeds” (p. 430) to ensure physi- cally and mentally healthy dogs for the future.

Assessment of article: Sofia Jeppsson is affiliated with the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences. Journal of Agri- cultural and Environmental Ethics is a scholarly journal and all publications are fully peer-reviewed. This is a scholarly source.

Reflection on article: Based on this evidence, I can claim that purebred dogs suffer needlessly and genetic diversity, as exhibited in mutts from the pound, is preferable for a healthy and stable pet.

Taylor, J. S. (2015). Anti-puppy mill legislation across the country is dogging pet stores. ABA Journal. Retrieved from http://www .abajournal.com/magazine/article/anti_puppy_mill_ legislation_across_the_country_is_dogging_pet_stores

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Sample Annotated Bibliography (continued)

Reading

Summary of article: This article looks into widespread legis- lation banning pet stores from selling animals bred through commercial enterprises. Large cities and counties throughout the country have passed laws banning the sale of animals pro- duced in breeding facilities. Some of the local laws allow for adoption of rescue animals in pet stores and the sale of some animals from small-scale breeders.

Assessment of article: The American Bar Association produces the ABA Journal. It is a credible source though it is not wholly scholarly because some articles are not peer-reviewed. This article is news-worthy and is credible reporting on the cur- rent state of puppy mill legislation.

Reflection on article: This article shows the trend of many municipalities banning the sale of puppy-mill animals due to the animal welfare concerns. From this evidence, I can claim that several large cities and counties have already banned the sale of commercially bread animals in pet stores.

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Sample Annotated Bibliography (continued)

Reading

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Outline

Rescue and Shelter Dogs: Outline

Yolanda B. Student

ENG122: English Composition II

Professor I. M. Jackson

August 31, 2016

Reading

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Outline (continued)

Rescue and Shelter Dogs: Outline

I. Introduction A. Thesis statement: Due to the pet overpopulation in Amer-

ica and the exacerbated medical ramifications of selective breeding, people should adopt rescued dogs rather than purchase a puppy from any type of breeder or pet store.

II. Body Paragraph: Pet overpopulation A. Pet overpopulation is causing environmental and social

problems. 1. Pet waste left behind by unsupervised and/or home-

less animals have an impact on ground water quality (Paterson, 2011).

B. Rescue organizations reduce the pet population in Amer- ica by spaying and neutering all animals before they are released. 3. There were 3,500 individual animal shelters operat-

ing at capacity in the United States in the mid 1990s (Motavalli, 1995). The numbers grow because too many pets are allowed to breed freely without control.

4. According to environmentalist Jim Motavalli (1995), the average female dog can produce two litters a year, which means that one un-spayed girl dog can be responsible for 67,000 births during her fertile years if her offspring are also left intact and not spayed or neutered.

III. Body Paragraph: Genetic modification A. Designer and purebred dogs are created by artificial

genetic modification through selective breeding practices. 1. Since humans have selectively bred dogs for physi-

cal and behavioral characteristics through inbreed- ing, pedigree dogs can be plagued by genetic disease (Farrell, Schoenebeck, Wiener, Clements, & Summers, 2015).

Reading

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Outline (continued)

B. Selective breeding practices result in exacerbated medical conditions in canines. 1. Previously, breed standards were focused on aes-

thetics and temperament with disregard for health, leading to increased medical issues in pedigree dogs. Indrebø (2008) found that it will take “several genera- tions to change the breed through genetic selection in order to eradicate the unhealthy over-typed dogs” (pp. 1-2).

B. Rescue organizations do not participate in selective breed- ing for designer or purebred animals.

IV Body paragraph: Commercial breeding A. Pet stores do not take the steps necessary to ensure healthy

pets. 1. The only way breeders can ethically create healthy

litters is through ongoing diagnostic screening of all dogs along with genetic testing regardless of arbi- trarily chosen aesthetics of the animal (Farrell et al., 2015).

2. There are ten recommendations for ethical breeding programs that require all breeders to only breed very healthy dogs, calculate percentages for breeding stock, limit “matador breeding,” exclude female dogs who are unable to give birth naturally, screen for polygenetic diseases, conduct DNA testing, and practice natural puppy-rearing with birth mothers (Indrebø, 2009).

V. Body paragraph: Preservation of breeds and standards A. Counterargument: Pedigree dogs represent a cultural

history. 1. Desire for a pure-brsed dog may be based upon popu-

lar culture trends rather than more rational or logi- cal decision-making processes (Ghirlanda, Acerbi, & Herzog, 2014).

Reading

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Outline (continued)

VI. Body paragraph: Guarantees of health A. Counterargument: There is no guarantee of a healthy pet

when adopted from a shelter where the animal’s history is unknown.

B. Rebuttal: While it’s true that there is no guarantee of health when a pet is adopted from a shelter, it is not financially supporting breeders who are breeding animals with disre- gard for health and welfare. 1. Many municipalities are banning the sale of puppy-

mill animals due to the animal welfare concerns (Taylor, 2015).

2. Purebred dogs suffer needlessly and genetic diversity, as exhibited in mutts from the pound, is preferable for a healthy and stable pet (Jeppsson, 2014).

VII. Conclusion A. Call to action: The sale of commercially-bred puppies from

pet stores should be banned unless all ethical recommen- dations become legally mandatory.

B. Concluding statement: In the meantime, many mixed-breed dogs in shelters are in need of homes. Therefore, families should first consider adopting a dog from a shelter or res- cue organization rather than purchasing a puppy from an unregulated commercial enterprise like a pet store or large breeding enterprise.

Reading

Outline (continued)

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

References

Farrell, L. L., Schoenebeck, J. J., Wiener, P., Clements, D. N., & Sum- mers, K. M. (2015). The challenges of pedigree dog health: approaches to combating inherited disease. Canine Genetics And Epidemiology, doi:10.1186/s40575-015-0014-9

Ghirlanda, S., Acerbi, A., & Herzog, H. (2014). Dog movie stars and dog breed popularity: A case study in media influence on choice. PLoS One, 9(9), 1-5. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0106565

Indrebø, A. (2008). Animal welfare in modern dog breeding [Spe- cial Section]. Acta Veterinaria Scandinavica, 50(56), 1-6. doi:10.1186/1751-0147-50-S1-S6

Jeppsson, S. (2014). Purebred dogs and canine wellbeing. Journal of Agricultural and Environmental Ethics, 27(3), 417-430. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10806-013-9470-y

Motavalli, J. (1995). Our agony over animals. E: The Environmental Magazine, 6(5), 28.

Paterson, J. (2011). A greener pawprint. E: The Environmental Maga- zine, 22(3), 22-27.

Taylor, J. S. (2015). Anti-puppy mill legislation across the country is dogging pet stores. ABA Journal. Retrieved from http://www .abajournal.com/magazine/article/anti_puppy_mill_ legislation_across_the_country_is_dogging_pet_stores

Reading

Rough Draft

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Rescue and Shelter Dogs: Rough Draft

Yolanda B. Student

ENG122: English Composition II

Professor I. M. Jackson

August 31, 2016

Reading

Rough Draft (continued)

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

Rescue and Shelter Dogs: Rough Draft

Dog’s are important members of many families, especially since they live for many years and can be with children from childhood all the way through until they become adults. People without children also enjoy having dogs in their lives as surrogates for the parent-child relationship. There are man ways to obtain a dog in America nowadays. First, there is pet stores. Second there are licensed breeders. Then there are unlicensed or home breeders. There are also many shelters and rescue organizations that take care of homeless or unwanted pets until they’re forever family can be found. Due to the pet overpopula- tion in America and the exacerbated medical ramifications of selective breeding, people should adopt rescued dogs rather than purchase a puppy from any type of breeder or pet store.

Pet overpopulation in America is causing environmental and sociological problems. Pet waste left behind by unsupervised and/or homeless animals have an impact on ground water quality (Paterson, 2011). If pet waste is left on the ground, it seeps into the ground, gets washed into storm drains, makes its way into streams and lakes, and is left as untreated sewage in the natural water cycle. Rescue organi- zations reduce the pet population in America by spaying and neuter- ing all animals before they are released. There were 3,500 individual animal shelters operating at capacity in the United States in the mid 1990s (Motavalli, 1995). This is a large number that has only increased over the years. The numbers grow because too many pets are allowed to breed freely without control. According to environmentalist Jim Motavalli (1995), the average female dog can produce two litters a year, which means that one un-spayed girl dog can be responsible for 67,000 births during her fertile years if her offspring are also left intact and not spayed or neutered.

Designer and purebred dogs are created by artificial genetic modi- fication through selective breeding practices. Since humans have selec- tively bred dogs for physical and behavioral characteristics through inbreeding, pedigree dogs can be plagued by genetic disease (Farrell, Schoenebeck, Wiener, Clements, & Summers, 2015). Breeders

Reading

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

who work in commercial enterprises are focused on those physical characteristics when breeding an animal for sale.

Selective breeding practices result in exacerbated medical condi- tions in canines. Previously, breed standards were focused on aesthet- ics and temperament with disregard for health, leading to increased medical issues in pedigree dogs. Indrebø (2008) found that it will take “several generations to change the breed through genetic selection in order to eradicate the unhealthy over-typed dogs” (pp. 1-2). Shelters and rescue organizations do not participate in selective breeding for designer or purebred animals. Instead, rescue organizations accept animals in any variety until a permanent home can be found.

Rescue organizations do not participate in selective breeding for designer or purebred animals. Pet stores, however, are supplied by breeders who do participate in selective breeding but do not take the steps necessary to ensure healthy pets. The only way breeders can ethically create healthy litters is through ongoing diagnostic screening of all dogs along with genetic testing regardless of arbitrarily chosen aesthetics of the animal (Farrell et al., 2015). There are ten recommen- dations for ethical breeding programs that require all breeders to only breed very healthy dogs, calculate percentages for breeding stock, limit “matador breeding,” exclude female dogs who are unable to give birth naturally, screen for polygenetic diseases, conduct DNA testing, and practice natural puppy-rearing with birth mothers (Indrebø, 2008). Without firm regulations and legal ramifications, commercial breeders continue to breed animals without regard for health and welfare.

There is a rich history in dog breeding and Kennel Club registra- tion. Some people feel that pedigree dogs represent a cultural history. It has been found, however, that desire for a pure-bred dog may be based upon popular culture trends rather than more rational or logi- cal decision-making processes (Ghirlanda, Acerbi, & Herzog, 2014). Therefore, it is important to look into the actual cultural impact of dog breeding as an asset to society without regard for ethical treatment of animals.

Just as there is no assurance of breed when adopting from a shelter or rescue group, there is no guarantee of a healthy pet when adopted

Rough Draft (continued)

Reading

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

from a shelter where the animal’s history is unknown. While it’s true that there is no guarantee of health when a pet is adopted from a shel- ter, it is not financially supporting breeders who are breeding animals with disregard for health and welfare. This has led a number of munici- palities across the country to ban the sale of puppy-mill animals due to the animal welfare concerns (Taylor, 2015). Purebred dogs suffer needlessly and genetic diversity, as exhibited in mutts from the pound, is preferable for a healthy and stable pet (Jeppsson, 2014). So while there are no guarantees, the overall impact of adopting pets rather than investing in commercial breeding is positive.

The sale of commercially-bred puppies from pet stores should be banned unless all ethical recommendations become legally mandatory. In the meantime, many mixed-breed dogs in shelters are in need of homes. Therefore, families should first consider adopting a dog from a shelter or rescue organization rather than purchasing a puppy from an unregulated commercial enterprise like a pet store or large breeding enterprise.

Rough Draft (continued)

Reading

RESCUE AND SHELTER DOGS

References

Farrell, L. L., Schoenebeck, J. J., Wiener, P., Clements, D. N., & Sum- mers, K. M. (2015). The challenges of pedigree dog health: approaches to combating inherited disease. Canine Genetics And Epidemiology, doi:10.1186/s40575-015-0014-9

Ghirlanda, S., Acerbi, A., & Herzog, H. (2014). Dog movie stars and dog breed popularity: A case study in media influence on choice. PLoS One, 9(9), 1-5. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0106565

Indrebø, A. (2008). Animal welfare in modern dog breeding [Spe- cial Section]. Acta Veterinaria Scandinavica, 50(56), 1-6. doi:10.1186/1751-0147-50-S1-S6

Jeppsson, S. (2014). Purebred dogs and canine wellbeing. Journal of Agricultural and Environmental Ethics, 27(3), 417-430. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10806-013-9470-y

Motavalli, J. (1995). Our agony over animals. E: The Environmental Magazine, 6(5), 28.

Paterson, J. (2011). A greener pawprint. E: The Environmental Maga- zine, 22(3), 22-27.

Taylor, J. S. (2015). Anti-puppy mill legislation across the country is dogging pet stores. ABA Journal. Retrieved from http://www .abajournal.com/magazine/article/anti_puppy_mill_ legislation_across_the_country_is_dogging_pet_stores

Rough Draft (continued)